Touga Kiryuu vs. Allen Schezar

This battle should be interesting, ladies and gentleman. This fight is for the title of 'Biggest Playboy in Anime.'

Phibrizzo: Umm.... do I have to watch this?

Aerie: Well, I guess I can relieve you just this once.

Phibrizzo: Thanks. I have to get back to Hell and torture the prodigal and the avaricious tonight. See you later. *disappears in a black blur with that echoing whoosh sound*

Aerie: *waves* Bye Phibby-chan. Have fun. Now then... hmmm... Who would want to see two bishounen...?

Sedalia: *appears out of nowhere* Did someone say bishounen?

Aerie: Hi sis. I just happen to be lacking a commentator for the fight with Touga an....

Sedalia: I'LL DO IT!!!!

Aerie: Great! And now on with the show.... In the blue corner, hailing from 'Vision of Escaflowne' is the chivalrous swordsman, Allen Schezar!

Allen enters the arena grooving to the 'I'm Too Sexy' song. Hitomi cheers him on  enthusiastically. Van looks irritated, which causes Merle to look even more irritated. Allen bows to the crowd. Princess Millerna sighs with longing.

Sedalia: And in the red corner, the dashing student council president of Ohtori Academy, Touga Kiryuu!!

Touga enters to 'The Bad Touch' by the Bloodhound Gang. He blows kisses at the crowd. Several Ohtori schoolgirls faint. He then turns his attention to Allen's cheering section.

Touga: Hey, catgirls. Hmmm....

Meanwhile, Allen is distracted by Touga's cheering section.

Allen: Hey, schoolgirls. Hmmm....

Nanami and Millerna jump out of the bleachers and proceed to beat the living daylights out of them respectively with large mallets.

Sedalia: Man, this is brutal It looks like they've both been beaten unconscious.  There's no way they can fight each other now. So who is the biggest playboy in anime? 

Aerie: Oh. Forget it. *tosses the trophy into the crowd* The world will never know.

Akio: *catches the trophy* V!

Fin.