Rezo vs Copy Rezo

Today we have a long awaited grudge match, the battle of the blind, Rezo vs. Copy Rezo!

Tom: In the red corner, the original Red Priest, resurrecter of Shabranigdo, Rezo!

Phibrizzo: In the blue corner, resurrecter of Zanaffar and neurotic clone, Copy Rezo!

Rezo and Copy enter to the Double-Mint Gum song. Both of them glare at the speakers (or at least turn their heads in that direction and act menacing).

Copy: *clenches fist* At long last I will prove that I am superior to the original.

Rezo turns towards Eris. If he could see he would be shooting her an exasperated glance. As it is, he merely twitches an eyebrow and frowns.

Rezo: This is all your fault you know.

Eris: It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Rezo: So did resurrecting Shabranigdo, but you don’t see me gloating about that one.

Copy: Of course, being dead, people don’t see much of you period.

Rezo: Yeah, well I don’t see you bounding around full of vitality either, so stuff it.

Copy: Of course you don’t. Unlike me, you can’t see.

Rezo: Grrrr

Copy: *sticks out tongue and dances around*  Nyah nyah, I can see and you can’t!

Rezo lashes out with his staff, but Copy blocks, and turns to sweep at Rezo’ s legs. Rezo leaps over the blow and goes on the offensive. The two engage in an intense bout of staff fighting.

Tom: They’re pretty spry for a couple of old dead guys.

Phibrizzo: Being dead hasn’t slowed me down any either. Go figure.

Rezo: You can not hope to win, I am a superior mage and a superior villain.

Copy: If you’re superior how come I had more screen time!

Rezo: Well I summoned a bigger demon!

Copy: I could control my demon!

Rezo: I had more henchmen!

Copy: My staff has more rings!

Rezo: I have bigger shoulder pads!

Copy: I caused more casualties!

Rezo: I didn’t get killed by an overgrown broccoli!

Copy: I had a better death scene!

Rezo: Eris dresses you funny!

Both Rezos pause as they realize that when it comes to fashion, neither of them is in a position to throw stones. The two resume combat and the fight dissolves into a massive dust cloud with heads, legs and staffs appearing and disappearing around the edges.

Rezo & Copy: Die! No, you first! Me? Whaddya mean me? You die!

Eris: I’ll help you Lord Rezo!

Eris charges down onto the arena floor and, with a Xena-like battle cry, leaps into the fray.

Tom: Hey, this isn’t a tag team match! Can she do that?

Phibrizzo: Well, it’s chaotic, so yes.

When the dust settles, Eris is holding a shattered Claire Bible tablet and standing over a crumpled bode with a big lump on its head.

Tom: That’s gonna leave a mark.

Phibrizzo: Nah, us animated types can take a lot of punishment, he’ll be fine. Eventually.

Eris: Thus fall all who would oppose Lord Rezo!

Copy: This plan, like your last one, needs a little work.

Tom: What?!

Phibrizzo: She killed the wrong Rezo!

Eris: *looks back and forth between the two priests, then faints*

Copy: *smugly* I have better luck.

Winner: Copy Rezo