Dark Lords vs Weiss

Aerie: Today's battle pits Weiss, from Weiss Kreuz, against the most powerful of Shabranigdo's minions.  Farfarello will be my guest commentator.

Farfarello: * licks a knife *  Will this battle hurt God?

Aerie:  * sweatdrops and scoots chair away from Farfie *  Ummm... is your straightjacket on tight enough?  Anyway... in the blue corner, are everyone's favorite mazoku:  Phibrizzo, Dynast, Zelas, Gaav, and Deep Sea Dolphin.

* The mazoku lords teleport into the arena, looking slightly perturbed. *

Phibrizzo:  Again?  Why us?

Gaav:  Why don't you pick on the heroes for once?

Aerie:  What's the matter dragon-boy?  Not scared of a few protagonists, are you?  Besides, you guys are just so much fun to torment!

Phibrizzo:  * sweatdrops *

Gaav:  Grrrr....

Farfarello:  Hurt God?  Hurt God!  Hurt God!

Aerie:  Err... that's nice, Farfie.

Farfarello:  Hurt God!  Hurt God!  Hurt God!

Aerie:  Farfie?  * o.O *  Hmmm....  Aha!  Reading cue cards hurts God, Farfie.

Farfarello:  * suddenly pays attention * Really?

Aerie:  Uh, sure....

Farfarello:  * gives the cue cards his full attention *  They're florists by day and assassins by night.  In the red corner, it's Aya, Ken, Omi and Yoji, the hunters of the dark beasts. Weiss!  . . . Hurt God.

* The four enter the arena, cuing dramatic wind, lightning, and rain.  An aura of angst surrounds them.    Every female member of the audience swoons. *

Aerie:  <((@.@))>  Oooh, pwitty angst-puppies....

Farfarello:  Angst-puppies?  Do angst-puppies hurt God?

Aerie: * THWAP *  Did THAT hurt God?

Farfarello:  Pretty stars.

Aerie:  Fight!

Gaav: * poses dramatically with his sword over his shoulder and trenchcoat billowing in the wind *

Aya: * ditto *

Yoji:  * flashes Zellas his suavest grin *

Zellas:  * grins fangily back at him*

Omi and Phibrizzo: * look gosh-darn cute *

Ken and Deep Sea Dolphin:  *start playing soccer*

Aerie:  I said FIGHT, dammit!

Zellas:  * Pounces on Dynast and a violent struggle ensues.  When the dust clears he's holding a golf club, and wearing a dark blue business suit, a striped tie, a dazed expression, and a sign reading 'I'm a Taketori.  Kick me.' *

Aya:  TAKETORI!!!!  * overcome with rabidly homicidal rage, he charges at Dynast *

Omi:  You're so mean, Aya!  Quit picking on my long-lost evil brothers!

Phibrizzo:  Hey, Dynast is MY evil brother!  There's only room for one cute kid in shorts in THIS family....

Dynast:  * As he dodges Aya's katana. * I really wish you wouldn't call me your brother.  It's really quite embarrassing....  Just because we were all created by the same being doesn't mean that we're actually related.  And the only reason I send you a birthday card is because you'll crush my soul orb if I don't.... * Dynast suddenly gets hit in the back of the head with a soccer ball. *

Aerie:  That was...unexpected....

Deep Sea Dolphin:  Sorry!  Could you kick it back over here?

Dynast: * dazed * Hello, Mr. Penguin.... 

Farfie:  What happened to Yoji and Zelas?

Aerie:  I don't wanna know....

Aya: * raises his sword to finish of the prone Dynast *  TAKETORI!!

* Suddenly, Shabranigdo drives a jeep through the wall of the battle arena.  Gaav and Phibrizzo grab Dynast and jump into the back, while Zelas drags Deep Sea Dolphin over. Then they drive off into the sunset. * 

Weiss:  Damn, why do all of our battles have to end like that?

Winner:  Deep Sea Dolphin, with a score of 2 to 1.