Ash vs Ascot
Phibrizzo: Who shall be the first to entertain us?
Aerie: Today, it's Ash from Pokemon and Ascot from Magic Knight Rayearth.
Phibrizzo: *blink, blink* Who?
Aerie: You mean you've never seen Pokemon? Where the hell have you been?
Phibrizzo: Hell.
Aerie: Oh, right. I forgot. Well, let me explain. Ash is the main character of Pokemon, and his specialty is catching obnoxiously cute lil' monsters and then using them to fight other monsters. His lesser-known challenger is Ascot, the kawaii little summoner kid from Magic Knight Rayearth. His specialty is summoning huge, fearsome beasts.
Phibrizzo: Bets on who wins?
Aerie: Let's just sit back and enjoy the carnage, shall we? Let the battle begin!
*Tension fills the air as the two challengers face each other from across the arena. Each of the young boys is steadfastly determined to prove himself to be the best monster trainer in the universe.*
Ascot: Haa ha! What a stupid hat!
Ash: You're calling MY hat stupid? Have you checked a mirror lately?!? Stupid jerk!
Ascot: Your mother dresses you funny!
Ash: I'm rubber, you're glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you! * :P *
Ascot: Grrr! I'll teach you a lesson! Let me introduce you to my good friend, Vigor. Monster, I summon thee! * a golden hexagram appears and a terrifyingly gigantic wolf-like monster with glowing red eyes and very large teeth materializes*
Ash: Pikachu, I choose you!
Pikachu: Pika, pika! *looks up, sweatdrops, and hides behind Ash's leg.* Chuuuu....
Ascot: Vigor, eat 'em!
Ash: *checks his Pokedex*
Pokedex: You're screwed.
Ash: That isn't much help. Pikachu, we can win this! Thunder attack!
Pikachu: PIKA! *Zaps the giant wolf with a high-voltage attack*
Ascot: You think that will hurt my friend Vigor? Ha!
Vigor: *looks mildly enraged* Snarl.
Ash: Oh, crap. Pikachu's attack didn't work. Pikachu, try to confuse him with your Agility.
Pikachu: Chu! *runs circles around the giant wolf monster*
Vigor: *catches Pikachu's tail in one of his massive paws*
Ash: Oh, no! PIKACHU!
Vigor: *chomp chomp chomp*
Ascot: Well done, Vigor. Good boy!
Winner: Ascot
Epilogue
Two sinister figures observe the fight from a giant cat-shaped hot air balloon.
Jesse: James, what's happening?
James: A giant monster just ate Pikachu.
Jesse: Damn! All of our hard work trying to catch that little rat is down the drain.
James: Wouldn't our boss be thrilled if we brought home the thing that defeated Pikachu?
Jesse: We might get a raise!
James: And a promotion!
Jesse
& James: Haaa haaa haa!Ascot: *looks quite puzzled as Team Rocket's balloon descends into the arena*
Jesse: Prepare for trouble.
James: And make it double.
Jesse: To protect the world from devastation.
James: To unite all people within our nation.
Jesse: To denounce the evils of truth and love
James: To extend our reach to the stars above
Jesse: Jesse!
James: James!
Jesse: Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!
James: Surrender now or prepare to fight!
*pause*
Jesse: Hey, where's Meowth? It's his line.
Vigor: *chomp chomp chomp*
Fin.