IN VARIOUS WAYS

Yuppie Sh*t:
It's my sh*t! All mine! Isn't it beautiful?

An Employer:
Sh*t happens, and rolls down hill.

An Employee:
I've done my sh*t, so can I take the day off?
This sh*t's not part of my contract!

Environmentalism:
Sh*t is biodegradeable.
Sh*t is environmentally friendly.

Washington:
I cannot tell a lie--sh*t happened.

Lincoln:
Four score and seven sh*ts ago...
(Before he got shot) Who shot that sh*t at me!

Regan:
I do believe sh*t was happening. I was just taking a nap.

Quayle:
Whye doe peopl treate mee lik sh*te?

Clinton:
I didn't inhale this sh*t.
I tried this sh*t before and I didn't like it so...

Bush:
Read my lips...no more sh*t!
Wouldn't be prudent to sh*t at this juncture.
This looks like foreign sh*t. Let baker handle it.

Perot:
I'm sorry if I dropped you guys in this piece of sh*t.

Martin Luther King:
Black sh*t and White sh*t CAN coexist....

Julius Cesar:
I've came, I saw, I sh*tted. (Veni, Vidi, Sh*tty)

John Paul Jones:
I have not yet begun to sh*t.

James Tiberius Kirk:
.... To boldly sh*t where no one has sh*t before!

Computer Scientist:
There's a bug somewhere in this sh*tttttttttttttttttttttttt!!
BASICly it's sh*t.

Macintosh:
(Enough Said)

UNIX/C:
A core dump... SSSHHHHIIITTT!!!!

IBM/DOS:
It's sh*t, but at least it's compatible.

Communism:
It's everybody's sh*t.

Marxism:
The rich sh*t exploit the poor sh*t, but deep down all sh*t is alike.
Dictator of the sh*t.

Capitalism:
Sh*t happens, and it'll cost you!
If you're gonna sell that sh*t, at least make a profit.

Cannibalism:
Don't eat that sh*t.
Is it me? Or does this sh*t taste funny!?

Realism:
I think I need to take a sh*t.

Denialism:
What sh*t?

Procrastinationism:
I'll take care of this sh*t......tomorrow.

Fatalistm:
Oh sh*t, it's going to happen!
The sh*t WILL hit the fan!

Nihilism:
Let's blow this sh*t up!

Fetishism:
I love when sh*t happens, it's so erotic.

Masochism:
DO sh*t to me!

Sadism:
I will sh*t on you!

Freudianism:
Sh*t is a phallic symbol.

Dianetics:
"Why does sh*t happen?" (Page 157)

Thalesism:
Earth, Air, Fire, and Sh*t.

Epicurusism:
If sh*t happens, enjoy it:

Socrates:
What is sh*t?
Why is sh*t?

Aristotle:
The essence of sh*ttyness...

Descartes:
I think, so why am I in this sh*t?
I sh*t, therefore I am.

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