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Lesson number one
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit
saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing
all day long?" The crow answered "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat
on the ground below the crow,and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared,
jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story is
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high...
Lesson number two ...
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to
the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung
and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first
branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached
the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched
at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who
shot the turkey out of the tree.
Moral of the story
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson number three ...
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain
said, " I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses
and functions." The feet said, " We should be Boss as we carry the brain
about and get him to where he wants to go." The hands said, " We should
be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money." And
so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally
the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole
being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and
refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands
clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and
the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should
be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the
work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Moral of the story
You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do.It's true.....
~ 1 ~ Most Important Question
During my second month of nursing school, our professor gave us a pop
quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions,
until I read the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who
cleans the school?" Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the
cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s,
but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last
question blank. Before class ended, one student asked if the last question
would count toward our quiz grade. "Absolutely," said the professor.
"In your careers you will meet many people. All are significant. They
deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say
'hello'. I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was
Dorothy.
~ 2 ~ Pickup in the Rain
One night, at 11:30 PM, an older African American woman was standing
on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rain storm.
Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet,
she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to
help her generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The man
took her to > >safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a
taxi cab. She seemed to be in a big hurry! She wrote down his address,
thanked him and drove away. Seven days went by and a knock came on the
man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered
to his home. A special note was attached. It read: "Thank you so much
for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not
only my clothes but my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you,
I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed
away. God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others."
Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole
~ 3 ~ Always remember those who serve
In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10 year old boy
entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass
of water in front of him. "How much is an ice cream sundae?" "Fifty
cents," replied the waitress. The little boy pulled his hand out of
his pocket and studied a number of coins in it. "How much is a dish
of plain ice cream?" he inquired. Some people were now waiting for a
table and the waitress was a bit impatient. Thirty-five cents," she
said brusquely. The little boy again counted the coins. "I'll have the
plain ice cream," he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the
bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid
the cashier and departed. When the waitress came back, she began wiping
down the table and then swallowed hard at what she saw. There, placed
neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels (2 five cents) and five
pennies (5 1cent) - her tip.
~ 4 ~ The Obstacle in Our Path
In ancient times, a king had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he
hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock.
Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply
walked around it. Many loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads
clear, but none did anything about getting the big stone out of the
way. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. On approaching
the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the
stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he
finally succeeded As the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he
noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse
contained many gold coins and a note from the king indicating that the
gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The
peasant learned what many others never understand. Every obstacle presents
an opportunity to improve one's condition.
~ 5 ~ Giving Blood
Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at Stanford Hospital, I
got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare and
serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood
transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived
the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the
illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and
asked the boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister.
I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and
saying, "Yes, I'll do it if it will save Liz."
As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and
smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then
his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and
asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away?" Being
young, the boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going
to have to give his sister all of his blood.
Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they
were meant to be there, they serve some sort of purpose, teach you a
lesson or help figure out who you are or who you want to become. You
never know who these people may be; your roommate, neighbor, professor,
long lost friend, lover or even a complete stranger who, when you lock
eyes with them, you know that very moment that they will affect your
life in some profound way. And sometimes things happen to you and at
the time they may seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection
you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never
realized your potential strength will power or heart.
Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means
of good or bad luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness
and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without
these small tests, if they be events, illnesses or relationships, life
would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. Safe
and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless. The people you meet
who affect your life and the successes and downfalls you experience,
they are the ones who create who you are. Even the bad experiences can
be learned from... those lessons are the hardest and probably the most
important ones.
If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them,
for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being
cautious to who you open your heart to. If someone loves you, love them
back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they
are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes to things you
would have never seen or felt without them.
Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from it everything
that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again.
Talk to people you have never talked to before, and actually listen,
let yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high. Hold
your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are
a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe
in yourself, no one else will believe in you either. You can make of
your life anything you wish. Create your own life and then go out and
live it.
Methods to recognise the individual's true character The most difficult
thing to detect someone's true nature. One can be outwardly kind, yet
vicious inside. Others seem sincere, yet evasive. Some are brave inexpression,
yet cowardly. Others are hardworking, yet untrustworthy.The following
are several methods to detect an individual's character.
1. Debate with him to know his viewpoints on life.
2. Challenge him verbally to watch the changes of his inner state.
3. Discuss strategies with him in order to observe his wisdom.
4. Enlighten him as to the difficulties and dangers ahead, thus to know
his courage.
5. Cause him to be drunk, then observe his real nature.
6. Make him handle money, then know his virtue.
7. Assign work to him, then discover his competence.
In addition to the above, the following are methods provided from other
ancient books.
1. During the time of his misfortune, observe whom he befriends.
2. During the time of his prosperity, observe who recieves his charity.
3. During the time he is holding high offices, observe whom he employs.
4. During the time of difficulities, does he act unethically?
5. During the time of poverty, can he be bribed?
6. Tempting him with lustful sex, observe his steadiness.
Dilbert's Theorem on Salary states that engineers and scientists can never earn as much salary as business executives and sales people.
This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following three postulates:
Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power (Knowledge=Power)
Postulate 2: Time is Money (Time=Money)
Postulate 3 (as every engineer knows): Power = Work/Time
It therefore follows: Knowledge = Work / Time
and since Time = Money, we have: Knowledge = Work / Money
Solving for Money, we get: Money = Work / Knowledge
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity,
regardless of the amount of Work done.
Conclusion: The Less you Know, the More you Make.
A young man, a student in one of our universities, was one day taking a walk with a professor, who was commonly called the student's friend, from his kindness to those who waited on his instructions.
As they went along, they saw lying in the path a pair of old shoes, which they supposed to belong to a poor man who was employed in a field close by, and who had nearly finished his day's work. The student turned to the professor, saying: "Let us play the man a trick: we will hide his shoes, and conceal ourselves behind those bushes, and wait to see his perplexity when he cannot find them."
"My young friend," answered the professor, "we should never amuse ourselves at the expense of the poor. But you are rich, and may give yourself a much greater pleasure by means of this poor man. Put a coin in each shoe, and then we will hide ourselves and watch how this affects him."
The student did so and they both placed themselves behind the bushes close by. The poor man soon finished his work, and came across the field to the path where he had left his coat and shoes. While putting on his coat he slipped his foot into one of his shoes, but feeling something hard, he stooped down to feel what it was, and found the coin. Astonishment and wonder were seen upon his countenance. He gazed upon the coin, turned it around, and looked at it again and again. He then looked around him on all sides, but no person was to be seen. He now put the money into his pocket, and proceeded to put on the other shoe; but his surprise was doubled on finding the other coin. His feelings overcame him; he fell upon his knees, looked up to heaven and uttered aloud a fervent thanksgiving in which he spoke of his wife, sick and helpless, and his children without bread, whom this timely bounty, from some unknown hand, would save from perishing.
The student stood there deeply affected, and his eyes filled with tears.
"Now," said the professor, "are you not much better pleased than if you had played your intended trick?" The youth replied, "You have taught me a lesson which I will never forget. I feel now the truth of these words, which I never understood before: "It's more blessed to give than to receive."
If you have ever been discouraged because of failure, please read
on. For often, achieving what you set out to do is not the important thing.
Let me explain... ...
Two brothers decided to dig a deep hole behind their house. As they were working, a couple of older boys stopped by to watch. What are you doing?" asked one of the visitors.
"We plan to dig a hole all the way through the earth!" One of the brothers volunteered excitedly. The older boys began to laugh, telling the younger ones that digging a hole all the way through the earth was impossible.
After a long silence, one of the diggers picked up a jar full of spiders, worms and a wide assortment of insects. He removed the lid and showed the wonderful contents to the scoffing visitors. Then he said quietly and confidently,
"Even if we don't dig all the way through the earth, look what we found along the way!" Their goal was far too ambitious, but it did cause them to dig. And that is what a goal is for-to cause us to move in the direction we have chosen; in other words, to set us to digging!
But not every goal will be fully achieved.
Not every job will end successfully.
Not every relationship will endure.
Not every hope will come to pass.
Not every love will last.
Not every endeavor will be completed.
Not every dream will be realized.
But when you fall short of your aim,
perhaps you can say, "Yes, but look at what I found along the way!
Look at the wonderful things which have come into my life because I tried to do something!"
It is in the digging that life is lived. And I believe it is joy in the journey, in the end, that truly matters.
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