Sarcastic remarks to get you through the day:
1. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion
would be...?
2. Do I look like a damn people person?
3. This isn't an office. It's
Hell with
fluorescent lighting.
4. I started out with nothing &
still
have most of it left.
5. I pretend to work. They
pretend to
pay me.
6. Sarcasm is just one more
service we
offer.
7. If I throw a stick, will you
leave?
8. You!... Off my planet!
9. If I want to hear the pitter
patter
of little feet, I'll put shoes on my
cats.
10. Does your train of thought
have a
caboose?
11. The Bible was written by the
same people who said the Earth was flat.
12. Did the aliens forget to
remove your
anal probe?
13. Errors have been made.
Others will
be blamed.
14. A hard-on doesn't count as
personal
growth.
15. A PBS mind in an MTV world.
16. Allow me to introduce my
selves.
17. Whatever kind of look you
were going
for, you missed.
18. Suburbia: where they tear
out the
trees & then name streets after them.
19. Well, this day was a total
waste of
makeup.
20. See no evil, hear no evil,
date no
evil.
21. Are those your eyeballs? I
found
them in my cleavage.
22. I'm not your type. I'm not
inflatable.
23. I have a computer, a
vibrator, &
pizza delivery. Why should I leave
the house?
24. Not all men are annoying.
Some are
dead.
25. Did I mention the kick in
the groin
you'll be receiving if you touch me?
26. It ain't the size, it's...
no, it's
the size.
27. A woman's favorite position
is CEO.
28. I'm trying to imagine you
with a
personality.
29. A cubicle is just a padded
cell
without a door.
30. Stress is when you wake up
screaming
& you realize you haven't fallen asleep
yet.
31. Can I trade this job for
what's
behind door #1?
32. I thought I wanted a career,
turns
out I just wanted paychecks.
33. Okay, okay, I take it back!
UnFuck
you!
34. Too many freaks, not enough
circuses.
35. Macho Law prohibits me from
admitting I'm wrong.
36. Nice perfume. Must you
marinate in
it?
37. Chaos, panic, & disorder -
my work
here is done.
38. I plead contemporary
insanity.
39. And which dwarf are you?
40. How do I set a laser printer
to
stun?
41. Meandering to a different
drummer.
42. I majored in liberal arts.
Will that be for here or to go?