******************************************************

                       The Spell Series - Compiled
 
                             By Kelli Rocherolle
                                kelli@edgenet.net

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Ok, this story is about Mulder and Scully confronting thier 
attraction to each other.  It has it's origins in my desire for Mulder to 
someday see Scully completely decked out-- instead of the usual 
standard FBI suits he usually sees her in.  So have fun, hope you 
enjoy. Oh, and my sister pointed out that there's no way they'd play 
the song I used at a formal FBI function.  I know that.  But there's a 
little thing called "suspension of disbelief"...and it's what these 
stories are all about!

**The following story is based on characters copyrighted by Ten 
Thirteen Productions, created by The Man, Chris Carter, and who 
are the property of the Fox network and are used here without 
permission. No infringement intended.**

**********************************************

He had only seen her really dressed-up once before....

He had stopped by unexpectedly to see if she would look at some 
files he'd obtained on their current case.  She had yelled "Come in, 
it's open!" and he had let himself in.  "I'll be right out" she called.  
Mulder stood there in the middle of her apartment, absentmindedly 
flipping through the file.  After a few minutes, he could hear her 
coming down the hallway.  He looked up, curious when he didn't 
hear the usual steady pace of her footsteps... Scully came hobbling 
into view wearing a stunning, floor-length crimson evening gown, 
grappling with an uncooperative high-heeled shoe.  Her hair fell 
wildly around her face, still damp from her shower.  She looked up 
and startled  "Oh, it's you."  Conquering her shoe, she moved quickly 
to the kitchen, looking like a tiny red hurricane blowing through the 
apartment.  "I'm late!" she exclaimed.  

Mulder simply stood there with a dumb-struck expression, file still 
open before him, looking after her.  Without a doubt, she was a 
pretty woman.  But he had never seen her looking so absolutely 
beautiful.  His stomach knotted.  "You got a date?"

She returned from the kitchen saying as she hustled back to her 
bedroom "No no, I'm going to see Cathy play at the Kennedy Center 
tonight"  From the bedroom she called "you remember Cathy- the 
cellist?"

Mulder was glad she was not there to see the relief on his face.  He 
called back to her  "Yeah, yeah I do.  I hope you have a better time 
than the last time you saw her play."

She emerged once again from her bedroom, stopping in the middle of 
the room.  Placing her hands on her hips, she scanned the area "very 
funny....where are my earrings??....oh."  She moved to the coffee 
table where she leaned over and scooped two small earrings from it's 
surface, not realizing in doing so she gave Mulder more of a view 
than she ever would have intended.

Mulder swallowed  "You need a ride?"

She finally slowed a bit, took a deep breath and looked at him.  "No-
- thanks but my mom's coming to pick me up.  I thought you were 
her.  ....What are you doing here anyway?"

Mulder had almost forgotten about his files.  "Oh, these, I was gonna 
ask you to take a look- it's ok. I'll see you Monday."

So he'd left her there, looking incredibly sexy in her tousled, 
unfinished appearance.  It was an image he did not soon forget.

As he stood there now, waiting for her in the lobby of the Watergate 
Hotel, he casually wondered if she'd wear the same dress tonight.  
Maybe he would get a glimpse of the finished picture after all.  His 
mind turned back to the event at hand.  He hated these functions 
with a passion.  He yanked at his bowtie miserably.  He hated 
wearing a tuxedo even more.  But, he'd missed several functions over 
the past couple of years, so Skinner had "strongly suggested" he 
make a "concerted effort" to attend this one.  Well, he wasn't going 
down alone, so he'd talked Scully into attending with him.  Mulder 
looked impatiently at his watch.  Where are you Scully? he thought.  
The sooner you get here, the sooner we can leave.  He sighed heavily, 
thinking: I knew I should've insisted on picking her up.  She had 
asserted that she would take a cab, as she had several errands to run 
after work and didn't want to hold Mulder up in the event she ran 
late.  "So much for that" he said quietly to himself.  Too many people 
were coming and going, he was having trouble keeping an eye out for 
her.  He turned away from the door to peruse the lobby, his eyes 
coming to a screeching halt on the back of a woman standing in front 
of the coat check a few feet away.  She wore an open-back, form-
fitting black velvet gown.  She leaned forward to hand her coat to the 
attendant, exposing a single milky-white leg from the slit in the 
bottom-half of her floor-length gown.  Mulder was taken aback...it 
was a rare occasion when a woman caught his attention in such a 
way, but she was...he couldn't take his eyes off her.  Mulder let his 
eyes follow the flow of the woman's leg upward to the soft curve of 
her hip, to the revealing back of her dress, to the delicate curve of her 
shoulder that turned into her neck.... She turned around.

"Scully??" Mulder asked, more incredulous than he should have.

She flashed him a smile that knocked the wind right out of him.  "Hi, 
sorry I'm late."  Her hair was held up by a single clip, and small 
tendrils cascaded down around her face and caressed her neck.  
Mulder could not help but gape at her.  "Ready to go in?" she asked.

"Yeah...sure" Mulder replied, annoyed with himself for suddenly 
feeling like it was prom night and he was seventeen again.

Scully took his arm as they headed for the reception area  "You look 
nice."

"So do you."  He hoped it sounded as nonchalant as he'd intended.

They entered the grand ballroom that the Bureau had rented.  They 
certainly had spared no expense with this one.  Mulder scanned the 
room and caught sight of several powerful figures from high 
positions in the Bureau, but there was no sign of Skinner.  Great, 
Mulder thought, he bullies me into attending and doesn't even bother 
to show himself.  He decided they'd at least stay until he could pay 
his respects to Skinner, then make a quick getaway.

But it wasn't until everyone was already seated for dinner that 
Skinner finally appeared, exchanging pleasantries with the higher 
ups, and not making his way to Mulder and Scully until the salads 
were being served.  Well, Mulder thought, looks like we leave 
AFTER dinner.

The night moved torturously slow, with Mulder having to endure the 
usual looks, the "Spooky" jokes whispered just within ear-shot.  But 
Mulder was grateful that Scully was there to talk to.  Her presence 
helped him feel more at ease.  He watched her now as she studied her 
water glass, wondering what she was thinking about...

Scully couldn't help but feel that Mulder was acting strangely.  Not 
that he wasn't always a gentleman.  But he was being positively 
chivalrous: opening doors for her, guiding her around the room on 
his arm, seating her at the table and offering to get her something to 
drink.  He was giving her his total attention, and she was enjoying 
every minute of it.  Well, she thought, focusing on me probably 
helps take the edge off the evening.  After all, she knew how he 
loathed these functions.

Dinner came and went without event, and Mulder left Scully sitting 
at the table as he went to refill their drinks.  When he returned, 
Scully was gone.  He stood there holding the drinks, looking around 
the room.  He caught sight of her almost immediately, dancing with a 
stocky, older gentleman that Mulder didn't recognize.  He was 
practically flinging her around the dance floor.  She caught his eye, 
flashing him that breath-taking smile, and over the man's shoulder 
her lips mouthed the words "HELP ME".  Mulder placed the drinks 
on the table and moved through the crowded dance floor toward her.

"You don't mind, do you?" Mulder said to the man as he took 
Scully's arm.  The agent eyed Scully, then sized up Mulder.  He 
wasn't about to be shown-up by the laughing stock of the Bureau.  
They stared each other down.  Mulder placed his hands on his hips 
as he widened his stance, standing his ground.  Is that the smell of 
testosterone I detect? Scully thought with amusement.  It wasn't an 
even match, and Mulder's manner told him he wasn't about to back 
down, so the man walked away, disgruntled.  Mulder turned to face 
Scully, and just as he did so, the moderate pace of the familiar 
'Oldies' rock and roll tune that had been playing gave way to the 
softer rhythm of a slow rock song.  They looked at each other 
awkwardly.  Scully was apprehensive about sharing a slow dance 
with her partner.  She had felt the chemistry between them too many 
times before to question it's power.  She'd felt it just sitting on a 
stake-out with him, looking over a file, discussing a case;  she 
couldn't imagine what it might do to her if he actually held her in his 
arms.... but, she couldn't very well just turn around and leave him 
standing there.  So she offered him a smile, to which he was 
obviously relieved, and took a step toward him.

Every nerve in his body leapt to attention as she neared him.; his 
heart started to pound so fiercely he was sure she could hear it.  He 
rested his chin on the crown of her head, feeling her breath on his 
hand as he cradled it against his chest with his own.  The music 
serenaded them...

There I am, I'm in the moment again
it's a game I just can't win.
There you are, breathing soft on my skin
still you won't let me in...

His hand dropped ever so lightly against the bare skin on her back, 
sending a warm sensation through her from head to foot.  Her head 
was spinning.  They were playing a dangerous game.

I save your kisses for a rainy day
baby let the moment take your heart away...

She seemed to be moving closer and closer, melting towards him.  
The completely feminine smell of her intoxicated him.  He closed his 
eyes as every other person in the room seemed to disappear;  he was 
aware of nothing but the soft sound of the music and her 
overwhelming presence.

Have you ever needed someone so bad?
Have you ever wanted someone 
you just couldn't have?
Did you ever try to hard
that your world just falls apart?
Have you ever needed someone so bad....

A sudden male voice startled them "May I?"

The spell was broken.

Mulder recognized the man as Joel Miner, an agent in the VCS that 
he and Scully had had limited contact with.  Scully and Mulder 
looked at each other uncertainly.  Agent Miner persisted  "Come on, 
Mulder, you get to see her every day-- are you going to give anyone 
else a chance or keep her for yourself?"  Mulder looked once more to 
Scully, then back to Miner, and gave him a quick nod.  He moved off 
to the edge of the dance floor, where he stood and watched over them 
with a hawk's watchful eye.

A tall, pretty blonde woman who had been waiting for him to leave 
Scully's side all night descended upon him.  In a silky voice she 
asked "Agent Mulder?"  He regarded her with little interest before 
returning his eyes to Scully and the tall, dark and despicably 
handsome man she danced with.  "I've heard a lot about you" the 
woman purred.  "I'm sure you have" Mulder replied, not bothering to 
hide the sarcasm in his voice.  Whatever the woman said next faded 
into silence along with every other sound in the room as he watched 
Miner drop his hand to the small of Scully's back and pull her closer.  
Mulder watched with astonishment:  what....why was she letting him 
do that??  Was she interested in this guy or something?  Would she 
just let anybody, some stranger do that??  Unable to tolerate the 
scene any longer, he turned around and stalked out of the ballroom, 
leaving the unidentified woman standing there in mid-sentence.

The song over, Scully's dance partner seemed reluctant to relinquish 
her.  He was cute, he seemed very nice...but as infuriating as it was, 
Scully found herself comparing every guy she met to Mulder.  She 
wasn't even sure if Mulder had the least bit of interest in her.  And 
even if he did, it's not like they could act on it.  But she couldn't help 
it:  she found time and time again that the men she came in contact 
with...well, they just paled in comparison to her partner.  She pulled 
away from Miner, thanking him for the dance and headed back to the 
table.  Mulder wasn't there.  She glanced around the room for him, 
but he was no where to be seen.  Had he left? Maybe he wasn't 
feeling well, she thought.  No, he wouldn't just leave her there, no 
matter how sick he was feeling.  But where could he be then?

Mulder had found an empty ballroom at the end of the hall.  He 
stood looking out a window in the dark room.  He was consumed 
with jealousy.  What the hell was going on?  Where was this coming 
from?  Things had been...."normal" for so long, why was he suddenly 
feeling this way?  He stood pondering these questions for some time.  
But only the answers he didn't want to hear came clearly to his mind.

Suddenly the door opened, pouring a small rectangle of light into the 
middle of the room.  A woman's silhouette was framed in the middle.  
She entered and closed the door.  Mulder didn't turn around;  
somehow he knew it was her.  Nobody else would've bothered to 
look for him.  The room was extremely dark, except for the 
moonlight streaming through the window where Mulder stood.  His 
tall figure was a dark, formidable shadow against it.  The room was 
nearly empty, save for a few small couches and love seats, some 
stacked chairs, and some tables.  Scully approached him, though he 
did not turn around to look at her.  After a minute she ventured  
"Mulder, what's wrong?"  "Nothing Scully.." he breathed, and turned 
to move to a love seat, where he sat with his back to her.  Scully 
placed her hands on her hips and watched him.  She knew.  She 
knew him too well to not know what was going through his head:  he 
was upset at her dancing with Miner.  But why?  The possessiveness 
he sometimes showed towards her in contrast to his usual air of non-
interest often confounded her.  She moved to him, taking a place 
beside him as he sat forward, elbows resting on his knees.  His hands 
were clasped in front of him, he eyes focused far off into the 
darkness.  Scully adopted a similar position next to him.  They sat 
there in the silence for a long time, Scully not wanting to push, 
though unspoken thoughts and words passed between them.  It had 
been a long time coming, neither of them wanting to confront it.  But 
they both knew what this was about.

The camouflage of darkness giving him courage, Mulder's voice 
finally broke the silence.  "Scully, you know how I feel about 
you...you know how much I respect you, your friendship....but it's so 
hard sometimes Scully... I can't......it's just......sometimes...." he 
exhaled quickly in frustration, burying his face in his hands.  After a 
minute, he looked up again, this time turning his head to meet her 
eyes.  After a moment he continued  "But sometimes, Scully.....I 
want you so badly it hurts."

Silence reigned as they looked at each other.  "Mulder..." Scully's 
voice finally responded.  They whispered, though no one was there 
to hear them.  "...why, why didn't you tell me?"  He he took her hand 
and placed it between his own, his gaze once again returning to the 
floor.  "I had no idea..." she continued.  He shrugged his shoulders "I 
didn't want you to know, I didn't want .....I didn't want anything to 
happen.  Anything that might effect..." he motioned to thier hands, 
raising them slightly "...this."  He paused a moment before 
continuing.  "Besides, I didn't know how you felt.  ....I still don't."  
He felt her free hand touch his face, gently turning it to hers.  He 
looked at her, his mind filled with the mixed emotions of dread, 
anticipation, desire... and hope.  

"Yes..." she whispered softly  "...yes you do."  And in that moment, 
as he regarded that beautiful face, any reason he had ever had for 
fighting against this escaped him.  He put his hand to her cheek, hers 
still on his own.  He started for her, haltingly, hopelessly drawn to 
her.

Even as he was moving toward her, Scully was thinking NO, we can't 
do this... but at the same time she wanted him to more than she could 
ever remember wanted anything else in her life.  Her eyes fell as his 
breath warmed her face.  He brushed his lips across her cheek to her 
mouth, poised to kiss her.  Scully sat there with her eyes closed, 
feeling his breath on her lips, paralyzed.  Slowly, he moved until his 
lips touched hers.  The kiss held like that for a minute, sweet and 
child-like, until Mulder felt her lips part beneath his.  This 
acceptance from her sent his mind whirling and the blood racing 
through his veins.  His kiss was gentle, passionate, and she could 
feel him trembling next to her.  They leaned back against the love 
seat, face to face.  Mulder reached up and unfastened the clip as her 
hair tumbled down around her face and shoulders.  Scully undid his 
bowtie, along with the first few buttons of his shirt.  As she 
massaged the skin just below the hollow of his neck, the smell of his 
skin through cologne seduced her further.  They sat there for a long 
time, exchanging soft kisses, making out like two teenagers on their 
first date.  They were both comfortable with this level, the gentle 
exploring, the touch of the other...but not for long.

As the air around them warmed from the heat they were generating, 
their faces grew flush.  Mulder could feel the sweat forming at his 
hairline as he began to feel the threads of his self-control straining 
against the force of his passion.  He moved his hand up her back to 
the clasp at the nape of her neck.  "Mulder, no" she said softly.  
"Yes..." he whispered in reply, his breath hot and urgent at her neck 
"yes, Dana...." as he moved back to kiss her mouth.  Her own body 
responding with an intensity she'd never known, Scully felt wisps of 
hair clinging to her forehead as her body temperature rose to match 
her escalating desire.  She pulled away from his kiss, exhaling 
sharply.  "Mulder....we can't..." she whispered breathlessly.  Their 
eyes met, and held for several seconds.  Mulder sat back in the love 
seat and ran a hand through his hair.  His voice was tense with 
frustration  "It's not fair, Scully..." he shook his head as if he had 
more to say, but could think of nothing else.  He looked at her  "It's 
not fair." he whispered.  She attempted to soothe him, stroking his 
hair  "We just can't, Mulder.  We can't want this."  She grieved at the 
torment in his eyes.  "But I do..." he said softly, matter-of-factly.  
They simply looked at each other, speaking their special unspoken 
language that Scully often marveled over.  They both wanted this.  
But they couldn't.  Not without sacrificing everything else; 
everything they'd worked so hard to build together.  And would it be 
worth it? They might know....someday;  but at this point, neither was 
ready to risk it.

Scully was the first to break the silence.  "We better go."  Mulder 
nodded, reluctantly.  He would've been content to sit there all night 
in that dark, secluded room, treasuring every second of that intimate 
time with her.  But she was right, so they rose from the couch and 
headed for the door.

They both squinted as the light from the hallway hit their faces.  
They exchanged a look:  neither of them wanted to go back to the 
reception.  "I'll walk you home?" Mulder offered.  Scully nodded, 
they got her coat and left the hotel.

Not a word was spoken between them as they walked to Scully's 
apartment, arm in arm.  They stopped outside her building and 
Scully turned to face him.  They exchanged a long look, then Scully 
smiled at him  "Good night" she said.  He continued to hold her gaze, 
not wanting to break away.  He wanted to remember every detail of 
her face, of this night..."Good night" he said eventually, and watched 
her go into the building.

He stood there, looking after her for several minutes, before a smile 
spread across his own face.  He turned and started to walk down the 
street.  This isn't over yet Dana Scully, he thought to himself.  Not 
by a long shot.


End Part 1
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Lyrics for song "Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad" copyright 
1992 Bludgeon Riffola LTD for Def Leppard.


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Spell 2:  Fair Play


Mulder stood there, looking after her for several minutes, before a
smile spread across his face.  He turned and started to walk down the
street.  This isn't over yet Dana Scully, he thought to himself.  Not
by a long shot.

In this lifetime, you will be mine...

************************************************

The weekend after the night of the Bureau function passed torturously
long.  It had been with out a doubt one of the most extraordinary
nights Scully could ever remember, from the way he'd looked at her
when she first turned and saw him; the way he'd held her, kissed her;
to the way he couldn't pull his eyes away from hers before they had
parted that night.  They had been absolutely spellbound.  She and
Mulder had enjoyed a special relationship, one that was often replete
with sexual tension, and that night it all seemed to come to
fruition-- almost.  As strong as their feelings were for each other,
the thought of moving beyond friendship scared her.  He was
so.... complicated.  Though she knew she had a better idea than most,
she still was never entirely sure she knew what was going on inside
that brilliant head of his.  She was fairly certain they'd made the
right decision- but it didn't make it any easier; she couldn't stop
thinking about him.  She found herself looking towards Monday with
both a feeling of excitement... and uneasiness.

******************************************************

Mulder entered the office apprehensively.  He saw Scully, and made
brief eye contact before awkwardly averting his gaze.  "Hi."

"Good morning" she responded coolly.  His mere appearance in the room
caused her palms to sweat and made her face flush with color.  She
decided to start the conversation with work-- quickly.  "So Westwood
sent up those files from VCS you requested."

He looked back to her, his stare penetrating right through her; she
hoped it was dark enough in the office to hide the color in her
cheeks.  But it wasn't, and he was loving every minute of it.  He said
nothing, continued to watch her with mischief in his eyes.  She pulled
from his gaze and took a seat at her desk.  With a great feeling of
relief she felt his eyes leave her as he began to go over the files
she'd given him.  After a few minutes, he got up and approached her.
The sirens went off in her head as he neared, though she maintained a
cool appearance on the outside.  He crouched down beside her, placing
the file on the desk in front of her.  "Take a look at this,
Scully..."

She complied, but there was nothing particularly interesting about the
file, except for the location of the crimes.  "Both murders were
committed in towns with identical names."
 
He nodded in response.  

She could detect the slightest hint of his cologne in the air between
them and her mind was inundated with memories of that night: the feel
of his hand dropping against the bare skin on her back, his gentle yet
hungry touch, the delectable taste of his mouth that made her think of
sweet wine...

"Scully?"

She shifted uncomfortably in her chair.  "So?"

The phone rang and Mulder stood to answer it.  Scully was not paying
attention to the conversation; she was only aware of Mulder's
closeness.  She was not even aware that he had called her name again.

"Scully?" he attempted once more.

 She snapped out of her reverie and looked up at him.  

"Can I use your pen?"

"Oh, yes, sure."  His hazel eyes taunted her as he deliberately,
slowly pulled the pen from her hand... she couldn't help but think
what image that action called to mind.  She averted his gaze, suddenly
concentrating on the desk blotter as if it were the most fascinating
thing she'd ever laid eyes on.  This was impossible.

****************************************************
The weeks passed; each day involving a similar incident.  He was
ruthless in his teasing; torturing her with his two-month seduction.
Every opportunity, the slightest opening- sometimes verbally,
sometimes physically: "accidentally" brushing by her in places they
used to pass through without coming in contact with each other,
leaning a little *too* close as they looked over a file, letting his
fingers linger over hers anytime she passed him something.  She found
she was beginning to dread his presence....and long for it at the same
time.  She was growing increasingly annoyed with herself: she was a
competent, strong, intelligent woman.... who turned into a 5"2' pile
of Jell-O every time Fox Mulder entered the room.  And he knew exactly
what he was doing to her.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a sharp knock at her apartment door.
She approached it, calling out "Who is it?"

"Mulder."

She hesitated, suddenly stricken with a case of the shakes, and she
cursed herself for it.  She wiped her hands on her jeans and opened
the door.

He offered a smile as he greeted her.  "Hi."

"Hi yourself" she smiled back at him  "what are you doing here?"

He brushed past her, removing his jacket.  He threw it on the couch
with the ease of someone who is quite comfortable in his surroundings.
Normally, it would've pleased her.  Tonight, it thoroughly intimidated
her.  She straightened and went back to the kitchen.

"I wanted to take a look at those photos you brought home with
you-something occurred to me while I was looking at the files
tonight."  He crossed the living area to the kitchen.  There she stood
with her back to him, busying herself with the task of making a salad.
"Smells good, what're you making?"

"I've got some pasta and sauce cooking, just making a salad.... do you
want some? I could throw in some more pasta-"

"Sure, that would be great..." his eyes sparkled "...I'm ravenous."

She eyed him nervously before turning back around.

He walked over to her.  He put his arms around her and slipped his
hands over hers.  She stiffened and held her breath.  "You want some
help with that?" he whispered at her ear.  He gently tightened his
hold on the hand holding the knife and began slicing a tomato slowly.
He could feel her shivering against his chest, could smell the
familiar scent of her skin; the chemistry between them was
overwhelming...  Before either of them knew what was happening, there
he was kissing her neck and she was losing it, going under with each
passing second.  Thoughts of the last time he touched her filled his
mind and he stepped closer against her.  Now she could feel him
against her back and it was all she could do to keep herself from
falling to the floor.  He turned her around and kissed her feverishly,
with such longing that a thrill of power rushed through her.  His
hands moved over her, finally taking hold of her waist.  He was
pressing up against her- urgently, desperately needing her. She broke
from his embrace, taking his hands, and guided him into the bedroom.
She sat him down on the bed, pulling a pillow out from underneath him,
and pushed him back until he was resting against the head board.  She
moved on top of him, straddling him.  Slowly, she unbuttoned his
shirt, then started showering him with kisses... his forehead, his
nose, his chin... and then she was slipping, sliding down; her mouth
warm and wet as his neck, his chest.  Her breath passed over his
stomach...  <Oh God>, he thought.  If she went any further, he was
sure he would explode the minute he felt that perfect mouth around
him, and he wanted this feeling to last all night.  But she stopped at
the top of his trousers, leaving him both relieved and disappointed.
She ran her lips from his belt to his belly button, then came back up
to face him.  He made no move to hold her, to touch her.  He was
completely paralyzed by her presence.  All he could do was watch her
with a sudden fascination that bordered on the ridiculous.  She leaned
in until her breath was at his lips.

"Turn about is fair play"  she smiled at him.

And she got up and left the room.

<Oh no you don't> He sprung from the bed and headed after her towards
the kitchen.  She turned off the burners on the stove, then resumed
her place in front of the hodge-podge of vegetables.  She looked over
her shoulder at him and gave him a triumphant smile.  The smile he
returned was weak.

As he stood there watching her, he knew what he had to do: swallow his
pride.  The last thing he wanted was for her to think he was playing
games with her, but this was going to be one of the most difficult
things he'd ever have to do.  He'd faced rejection too many times in
the past to have any confidence in facing this.  He hesitated at the
door for a moment, deciding whether to face the task at hand or bolt
from her apartment.  He sighed inwardly, and decided on the former.

He approached her, feeling like he was walking in slow motion.

He neared her.  He was aware of his head throbbing with anxiety, his
chest tightened.  Then he was standing right behind her, he could feel
her barely touching him, and he struggled with himself for the
courage.  <Go on...*level* with her> How was he going to say this?  He
struggled to find the words.  He swallowed hard and brought his lips
to her ear .  "I want you..." he said, placing a kiss on her neck.  "I
need you..."  He moved to her other ear, and now his heart was
pounding in his ears; it felt to him like minutes before the next
words came "....I love you."

Her mouth fell open and her eyes widened as she stood there,
immobilized by his words.  Then, suddenly, she whirled on him.  She
pushed him away, her eyes fierce with anger and confusion.  "How dare
you! How dare you say that to me!  Do you think you can just say that
and it'll get me to jump into bed with you?"  She shook her head in
disbelief.

Now it was his turn to stand there gaping, blinking at her
incredulously; he certainly hadn't expected *that* reaction.  But as
he listened to her words, his own anger grew.

"Maybe that's worked for you in the past, Mulder, but how could you?
How could you pull that with *me*?  Is this *you* or your sexual
frustration talking?"

He glowered at her, his face red with anger and embarrassment, then
stormed into the living area, grabbed his coat and headed for the
door.  But Scully was right there at his heels.  "Where the hell do
you think your going? What is it... no sex so time to make a quick
getaway, right? What, do you have a back up waiting--"

He spun around, looking down at her as he rose a finger, cutting her
off in mid-sentence.  His face was inches from hers, he hissed at her
through clenched teeth "I wasn't feeding you a line Scully; I was
telling you how I felt- because I thought you deserved to know.  I
have *never* said that to anyone in my life, there was never anyone I
*wanted* to say it to.  And I never wanted anything from you, Scully,
that you weren't willing to give to me freely."  His hand dropped back
to his side.  " So I'm sorry."

He turned back around and reached for the knob.  She grabbed his arm
and he froze; even now, furious as he was with her, her touch had both
a calming and electrifying effect.  "Don't go..."

He hesitated, rubbing his chin as he tried to release the anger and
embarrassment.

"Look at me, Mulder."  

He didn't budge.  

"Please..."

He turned around to face her.  Her eyes were filled with desperation.
She shrugged her shoulders, raising her hands slightly. "What do you
want from me, Mulder??"

Placing his hands on his hips, he looked quickly to the side, then
directly into her eyes as he answered her truthfully "Only everything
you have to offer, Scully."

She swallowed hard as she looked at him, and realized: he was serious.
Dead serious.  This was no game.  And then she felt ashamed- that she
would even think that of him for one second, her friend; she knew him
better than that.  He had just caught her completely off guard; never
in a million years would she have expected him to say that to her.
She pulled her eyes from his, looking somewhere in the direction of
the middle of his chest, and took a step slowly towards him.  Then
another.  She rested her forehead against his chest.  "I'm sorry" she
said weakly.  As she stood there before him, her head against his
chest, the wall he'd immediately built at her rejection crumbled.  His
arms encircled her small frame, and they held each other.

Inevitably, the feel of the other's body, the caresses, changed the
air between them, and before long their breathing had turned shallow
and uneven.  He ran a hand slowly up and down her back, and a tingling
sensation in the back of his head made him feel dizzy.  She felt him
stir against her.  She tilted her head up to look at him.  "I'm
sorry..." he whispered "we don't have to..." .  Without a word she
moved her hands to hold his face, then brought them down to take his
hands.  She backed away, pulling him towards the bedroom.  He smiled
at her: "No no no" he said quickly, then smiled "I fell for this once
before."  He bent slightly, wrapping his arms securely around her
waist, then stood back to his full height, pulling her up off the
ground.  Her feet dangled above the floor.  He brought her back into
the bedroom in his embrace, kissing her along the way.

In the bedroom, he lay her down on the bed and slowly started removing
her clothes, little by little unveiling the woman he loved.  When he
was finished, she took her turn at his clothes, until there was
nothing separating them but their skin.  She opened herself to him
completely, wanting him more than she'd ever wanted anyone else in her
life.  He moved on top of her, frustrated that he couldn't get closer,
he wanted to crawl right inside her skin.  He settled for moving his
hands over her, wanting to touch every inch, every pore.  He gently
explored the lines of her face with his finger tips, tracing them like
Braille.  She pulled him tight against her, wanting the same
closeness.  Then suddenly, almost unexpectedly, he was inside her, and
they were moving slowly together, as close as they could possibly be.
It wasn't long before her breathing quickened; she tightened her hold
on him.  Her soft sounds of pleasure sent him right over the edge
after her, and he was certain that this feeling would indeed last all
night.  It would last for the rest of his life.

He held her face, kissing her softly.  "Dana..." he whispered to her,
"my Dana."  They lay together for a while, exchanging kisses, until he
rolled onto his back, pulling her along with him until her head was
resting against his chest.  They were quiet for a long time.

And little did they know as they lay there, holding each other, that
the seeds of love had literally been sown; that some infinitesimal
part of him had been blindly driven towards her center, and found
there its purpose...

"Mulder?"

And she didn't know, as she lay there listening to his heart beat,
that her own heart was now beating for two; that the blood rushing
through her veins, the breath she drew, were now cultivating and
nourishing the small life blossoming in her belly...

"Mmmm?"

That they had created something wonderful...

"I love you too."

End Part 2 

****************************************

Spell 3:   The Secret

Scully clutched the side of the sink and watched the last of her 
regurgitated breakfast swirl down the drain with the flow of water.  
She cupped handfuls of the cool liquid, bringing it to her lips and 
rinsing her mouth.  She turned the faucet off as there was a tentative 
tapping at the bathroom door.  Mulder entered and handed her a 
glass of ice water which she gratefully accepted.  He leaned against 
the door frame and folded his arms in front of him.

"When are you going to go to the doctor, Scully?"

"Mulder I told you, I'm fine.  Just a touch of the flu or something."

"Scully come on, this has been going on for weeks..."  

She eyed him, knowing he was right.  "I'll go this week, OK?"  

He smiled as he approached.  "Good."  He stood behind her, 
embracing her small frame.

"Well," she said with a smirk, "I'm probably just over-sexed anyway."

He pulled her tighter against him. "Oversexed? No such thing, 
Scully."  His hands slid along her sides down the smooth fabric of 
her nightshirt .  He lowered his voice slightly.   "That's just a myth 
propagated by your Catholic upbringing."

"Excuse me but are you making fun of my faith?"  she asked in mock 
indignation.

"I am the *last* person to make fun of anyone's faith."  His hands 
moved to her hips, to her legs.  He nuzzled against her neck.  "You 
are so beautiful, Dana" he whispered into her ear.   He pressed 
himself against her as his hands slid further down her legs and up 
under her nightshirt.  He softly caressed the bare skin of her upper 
legs, then brought his hand up to her hips.  He curled his thumbs 
around her undergarment and started to slide it down.  Unsure of his 
intentions, Scully squirmed to turn around.  "Sh--sh" he whispered, 
holding her in place.  Their eyes met in the mirror's reflection.  
"Don't you trust me?" he whispered, the mischief radiating from his 
eyes.

The corner of her mouth turned up slightly.  "I don't know..."

His smile was positively wicked.

******************************************************

Whatever barriers they had put up between each other before were 
now torn down and strewn by the wayside.  They were insatiable.  
And as hard as they tried, even work was not enough of a distraction 
from each other.  The case they were currently working on was a no-
brainer, a "Skinner-special" as Mulder liked to call them:  down-time 
between X Files, and as a result they focused their attention towards 
each other.   They were careful, but fortunate in that they were 
usually left to themselves.  People rarely ventured down to the 
basement and they were often alone....  The office, the car, the ladies 
room... Scully broke out in a cold sweat every time she passed the 
parking garage's elevator.  The passion that had driven their work 
was now turned full force on each other.

They sat now at Scully's desk, re-analyzing the file they'd been sent 
from the Behavioral Sciences Unit.  Scully finished reading the first 
page of the profile and started to turn the page.  "You finished 
Mulder?" she asked, poised to turn the page.  She adjusted her 
glasses.  When she didn't get a response, she looked up to find he 
was staring back at her.  She smiled slightly.  "What is it?"  He 
simply continued to look at her, the smile behind his eyes warming 
her face.  "What?" she repeated.

"Hi."

"Hi..." 

He reached for her hand and brought it to his face.  "Did you know 
how good you smell right here?"  He made a small circle with his 
finger on the back of her hand.

"What?" Her smile widened.

"Right here..."  he said, indicating for her to smell it too.

The phone rang.  Mulder squeezed her hand and stood, heading back 
towards his desk.  She removed her glasses and stood to answer the 
phone as he sat down and continued to read the profile.

"Scully."

A female voice greeted her.  {Hi Dana it's Dr. MacDowell.}

She immediately stiffened, knowing that doctors usually didn't call 
with *good* news.  "Yes?"

{You have to stop taking your birth control pills immediately, 
Dana.}

Her brows knitted together in confusion.  "What??"

{Dana you're pregnant.}

The room lost its focus as she felt the blood drain from her face.  Her 
head started to spin and she placed a hand on the desk to steady 
herself.   She ventured a glance over at Mulder, who was thankfully 
still absorbed in the file.  Finding it difficult to catch her breath, she 
attempted to calm her voice.

"How can that be? Are you sure?"

{We're sure, Dana.}

"How is that possible? I've been..." she swallowed hard and looked 
once more over at Mulder.  She turned her back to him and lowered 
her voice. "...careful."

{Welcome to the 1 percent.}

******************************************************

Scully lay in bed that night wide awake, trying to sort out her 
thoughts.  The steady rhythm of Mulder's breathing beside her, 
which usually had such a tranquilizing effect, did nothing to lull her 
to sleep tonight.  <Oh God how could this happen? What am I going 
to do?>  For a fleeting second of blind panic she'd considered 
abortion and of not telling Mulder about it all, but that passed 
quickly once her senses returned to her.  Besides, she'd pretty much 
decided abortion was out of the question for her.  Whatever her 
personal beliefs on the subject, ultimately, she wanted this baby... it 
was part of Mulder and part of her, a physical manifestation of their 
devotion; a bond that they would always have.  But she wouldn't 
hold it against him if he wasn't ready to be a father; she was prepared 
to raise this baby herself.  He'd been so concerned when she'd left the 
office earlier- after the phone call.  She'd told him it was just this 'flu' 
thing again and that she wanted to go home and rest.  She scoffed 
inwardly... rest? Who could rest now?   How was she going to tell 
him??  What would this mean to her  relationship with him?  Try as 
she might, she could not possibly imagine what on earth his reaction 
would be.  It could range anywhere from "doing the honorable thing" 
to leaving a trail of flaming skid marks as he fled from the room.  
No, she didn't really believe that;  Mulder *was* honorable, she 
didn't think he'd be the type to abandon her.  But that prospect was 
even more grim.  The last thing she wanted was for him to stay with 
her out of some outdated sense of obligation;  especially when she 
was ready to do this on her own...   but was she kidding herself? Was 
she being realistic?  *Could* she really do this by herself?  What 
was this going to mean to her career?   Nausea tightened its hold on 
her stomach and she deserted the idea of trying to find sleep.  

In the kitchen she rummaged in the cabinets to find the box of 
saltines she knew she had somewhere. <I've got to have saltines in 
here somewhere.... *everybody* has saltines...>  At last she found 
them, a still unopened box with last year's expiration date.  She made 
a mental note that it was time to go shopping again and tore open the 
package.  She poured herself a glass of milk and sat at the kitchen 
table.  She was so deep in thought that she didn't hear Mulder 
shuffle into the kitchen.  He rested his hands on her shoulders as he 
leaned in to place a kiss above her ear.  "Can't sleep?"  He sat down 
next to her and reached for a cracker.  

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?"  He helped himself to a sip of her 
milk.

"It's OK, you can go to back to bed, Mulder--"

"No actually I was a little hungry myself."  

She flashed him a reproachful glance.

"I'm not going back unless you come with me, Scully.  How am I 
supposed to sleep when I know you're out here in the kitchen all 
alone?"

As much as she was appreciative for the thought, she really needed 
the time to be alone with her thoughts.  But not tonight.  Right now 
she just wanted his company, to be with him like this...  because 
soon, it might never be the same again.

As she looked at him, the tears welled in her eyes.  Mulder's face 
filled with concern.  "What? What is it?"  She leaned forward and 
rested her head against his chest.  He caressed her back as he held 
her.  "What's wrong?"  

She sighed heavily into his shirt.  "Nothing, really, I'm fine" she 
responded, her throat tight with emotion.

Though she could not see his face, she could here the smile in his 
voice as he teased "What is this PMS or something?"

Then, her forehead still against his chest, she laughed through her 
tears,  because he had no idea just how funny that was.

He sat up and gently took her elbow.  "Come here..." he said softly 
and brought her back to bed.  He lay with her for a long time, 
stroking her hair, until her breathing had become deep and even, and 
he followed her into sleep.

******************************************************

She awoke to the rough feel of stubble against her cheek.  Mulder 
kissed her and got up off the bed.  He was half dressed, still 
buttoning up his shirt.  Her voice was heavy with sleep.  "Where are 
you going?"

"My place.  I have to get some more clothes, think I still have a pile 
of shirts left from the last time I did my laundry."

"You do laundry? Is there anything else you want to tell me 
Mulder?" she teased.

"I don't have any secrets from you, Scully" he said with a smile.

Her face turned serious.

"What is it?" he asked, threading his tie through his the collar of his 
shirt.

She forced a smile.  "Just tired.  I'll see you later at the office?"

He nodded and approached her,  crouching down by the side of the 
bed.  He buried his face into the hair at her temple and placed a kiss 
somewhere thereabouts.  "You smell like a sleepy person" he said, 
nuzzling further into her neck.

She pulled the covers up tighter around her and closed her eyes. "I 
*am* a sleepy person."

He smiled and got up, grabbing his jacket.  "I'll see you later" he 
called as he walked through the door.

Scully watched him go.  And she knew:  she'd have to tell him 
tonight.  No more putting it off.  It was time to blow this secret out 
of the water.

******************************************************

As Mulder headed to work sometime later, freshly showered and 
shaved, he marveled at his own thoughts.  For the first time that he 
could remember, they were not consumed with Samantha.  Not that 
his need to find her had been quelled in anyway, but that a certain 
sense of peace had come over him;  a strange, uncharacteristic 
optimism that threw him for a loop.  These days, his thoughts were 
mostly engrossed with Dana Scully.  His feelings for her bordered on 
the obsessive, his need for her uprooting all else.
He really didn't understand why; he'd felt nothing like it before in his 
life.... now she *was* his life, and like some ridiculous love-sick 
puppy he stood in complete awe of her.  No one in his past had even 
come close... his thoughts turned suddenly to Kristen.  A 
meaningless, pointless mistake that he wished he could erase from 
his past.  He hadn't told her about it, because it would only hurt her 
to think that he'd given up on her.  He tightened his hold on the 
steering wheel as the guilt gnawed at his stomach.  Maybe he *had* 
given up.  And the prospect of never seeing her again had left him a 
void, empty skeleton of a man, and weakened him more than 
anything he'd ever encountered in any X File.  With the passing of 
hope, he'd lost his will to go on, and every subsequent move he'd 
made challenged death to take him.  He never wanted to feel that way 
again. 

******************************************************

After a quick bite and an evening of looking over files, they finally 
returned to Scully's place sometime after 10:00pm.  Mulder threw his 
jacket on the couch and headed for the bathroom as Scully went to 
her bedroom to change.  "I'm takin' a shower" Mulder called into the 
bedroom.  Scully opened a drawer to get some pajamas but found it 
was empty.  She sighed as she studied the pile of laundry in the 
corner of her room;  if they didn't stop this preoccupation with each 
other soon, they'd have to start buying new wardrobes monthly.  She 
changed out of her work clothes and grabbed one of Mulder's T-
shirts, slipping it over her head.  She crawled into bed.  She lay there 
staring at the bathroom door for several minutes, as if like some 
magic oracle it would tell her the answer that would help her out of 
this mess.  <OK, when he gets out of the shower, just wait until he 
gets out of the shower.>  But suddenly she felt that if she didn't do it 
right away, it would just move from after his shower to tomorrow 
morning, to after work, to after dinner tomorrow night.... no-- she 
was procrastinating.  <Do it *now*, now or never, Dana>.  She 
practically bolted out of bed and burst through the bathroom door.  
Mulder peaked his head out from behind the shower curtain and 
smiled, his saturated bangs covering his forehead in a thick blanket.  
"Care to join me?" he asked with a mischievous smile.  She put her 
hands on her hips and forced a small smile in return.  She 
approached him slowly, unable to meet his eyes. "Mulder there's 
something I have to tell you...  I wanted to tell you sooner--"  Before 
she knew what was happening he'd hooked an arm around her waist 
and snatched her into the shower.  She cried out in surprise.  He held 
her under the stream as the water soaked her hair and clothes.  
"Mulder!" she sputtered through the shower's spray.  She tried  to be 
annoyed, but the feel of  his hands moving over her left her feeling 
weak and light-headed.  The warm droplets from the shower's deluge 
caressed her neck and back like a thousand sensual kisses.  His 
hands slid down and up under her T-shirt where he took hold of her 
underwear.  He drew them down and the saturated garment fell 
heavily to the floor.  He grabbed hold of her legs and lifted her, 
pinning her up against the back of the shower stall as her legs 
encircled his hips.  Her now drenched T-shirt provided some traction 
against the smooth tile as he found her, moving up against her with a 
gentle force that sent her quickly to passion's edge.

"Look at me.." he whispered to her.  She opened her eyes then, and 
their eyes locked with the same fierce intensity as their bodies; she 
saw in his eyes a hunger as wild as animal instinct.

"Yes.." he breathed.   Her arms encircled his head as she buried her 
face in his neck.

"Oh God, Dana" 

As her muffled cries came from his neck, his own passion reached 
it's breaking point and his body convulsed with waves of pleasure 
that coursed through his body like after-shock.   

Their breathing slowed and he gently lowered her, but her legs were 
now unsteady and he supported her with an arm around her waist.  
His other hand smoothed the soaked hair off her face, then moved to 
her jaw.  He ran a finger over her lips before leaning in to kiss her.  
They held each other under that gentle rain, their foreheads touching 
and their eyes closed, and emotion flowed through him.  "Scully.." 
he started, but was unable to continue. 

She nodded against his forehead, and they held each other for a long 
time.

And she didn't tell him that night. 

*************************************************

Or the next morning.

At work the following day she'd talked him into leaving a bit early so 
they could go out to dinner.  She would tell him them.  Definitely.  

They sat there now discussing this current case, Mulder standing in 
front of his desk loading the slide viewer while Scully sat at her 
desk.  He was talking about the case, but his words slowly faded into 
silence as Scully's thoughts turned to tonight and what it might 
bring.  She prayed for the courage to be able to tell him; to let this go 
on any longer would be unforgivable.  But what if she found she 
*couldn't* tell him tonight... or the next...  what if it never *was* the 
right time.  Eventually, he'd be able to plainly see the truth. 

A sudden realization that she was about to do it came over her as her 
body started to shake.  Her stomach erupted in butterflies and a 
sudden chill took hold of her.  She was aware of standing and 
moving to the side of her desk, but did not seem to be moving of her 
own volition.  She stared at the desk to her right and her fingers 
rested lightly on its surface.   "Mulder I have to tell you something..." 
she blurted out quickly.

He stopped short at her panicked tone and took a few steps towards 
her. "What is it, Scully?"

She continued to stare at the desk, unable to look at him.   She took 
a deep breath.  

"Mulder I'm pregnant."


{ As night touched the sky with moonglow
{she opened up her heart
{the tide of emotions ebb and flow
{washing us apart
{we talked through the night in whispers
{as the silent city lay
{the reasons she gave cut deep and hard
{the dawn broke angry grey.*

End Part 3

***************

*Lyrics: Level 42 "Lying Still in Your Arms" from the album *World 
Machine*

----------------------------------------------------------------------


**Special thanks to Wizard for all her advice... technical and 
otherwise;)


**********************************

And I see
that these are the eyes of disarray...
                                                 -Stone Temple Pilots

Spell 4:  Black

A fathomless silence descended on the room.  It was a few seconds 
before Scully ventured to look at Mulder.  He looked like his knees 
gave out, then he took a few steps back where he collapsed into his 
chair.  His breath escaped him and he brought a hand to his mouth.  
Scully's gaze returned to her desk as she stood there frozen and 
terrified.  

It seemed to her hours before he finally spoke, and when he did his 
voice was low and calm.  "Come here." 

Scully looked up at him, his expression indiscernible.  She 
approached him slowly until she was inches in front of him.  He 
looked at her briefly, then his eyes traveled down her front to her 
abdomen where he tentatively placed a hand, and she could see that 
it was shaking.  Suddenly, but slowly, his hands moved around to 
her back and he hugged her midsection, burying his face in her 
stomach.  Scully could only stare down at the top of his head and 
wonder what this reaction was:  despair? disbelief?  But if she 
could've seen his face from where she was, she would've seen that it 
was simply... pure joy:  he was grinning from ear to ear.  He finally 
looked up at her, smiling.  

She smiled uncertainly back at him.  "This is....  a *good* thing?"

"Of course it is, Scully..." he said emphatically.  He stood and lay a 
hand on her cheek, regarding her with simple adoration.  He went to 
the door and turned the lock.   Scully realized that for the first time 
since she found out... she was happy;  she hadn't allowed herself to 
be until this moment.  She had spent every second since that phone 
call in a state of distress:  trying to figure out what she was going to 
do, how she was going to tell Mulder.  But now he knew, and he 
wasn't devastated and what she had feared most had not been 
realized:  she was not alone.  Pictures of a life she never thought 
she'd know flashed through her mind:  family, hearth and home.  She 
was going to be a mother-- a *mother*.  A thrill of elation rushed 
through her and brought a smile to her face.

Mulder leaned against the desk and pulled her to him.  He held her 
head against his chest and stroked her hair, closing his eyes. 

"Thank you..." he whispered.

She looked up at him.  " 'thank you'?"

"Thank you for giving me everything I never thought I'd have in this 
life, Scully."

They held each other for a long time.

*******************
As the weeks turned into months, their thoughts on the pregnancy  
turned to more practical matters.  She was almost 3 months along 
now, and had only a few extra pounds to show for it, but time was 
running out.  Scully still hadn't told her family that she was even 
involved with someone... let alone pregnant.  And what about the 
Bureau? Eventually, her pregnancy would become obvious, and what 
would they do?  Assign her to desk work? Reassign her?  They had 
discussed the possibilty of Scully returning to teach at Quanico, but 
were still deliberating about that.  She and Mulder agonized over the 
possibilty of being seperated.  They loved working together; they 
worked *well* together.  Neither of them wanted new partners.  But 
Mulder's primary concern was her safety.  He knew that "they" had 
regarded Scully as his weakness, and had tried before to get to him 
through her.  Now, her pregnacy, a baby... it would be the ultimate 
Achilles Heel.   So in the meantime, they continued along as usual, 
though Mulder had become as protective and watchful as wolf 
guarding its mate.

"Mulder, if something happens to you, our baby won't have a father" 
she had said.  "I have as
much to worry about as you do."

"No, Scully, no... you may have to worry about me, but I have *two* 
of you to worry about."

She could only look at him, understanding.  So she indulged him his 
overprotectiveness.

It was almost 4 in the afternoon and they were still in their pajamas.  
It had been one of those lazy Sundays where nothing was 
accomplished but eating breakfast well after noon and reading the 
Post.  Mulder was sprawled out on the couch in his boxers and t-
shirt reading the comics as Scully sat on the floor reading the 
Entertainment section.  An open jar of peanut butter was on the floor 
next to her with a spoon propped in its center.  She reached for the 
spoon and lifted a small blob into her mouth.

"That is so gross, Scully."

She licked the spoon and looked over at him.  "You're right... could 
you get me the jar of Fluff?"  He shook his head at her and smiled as 
he turned back to the comics.

Scully put the paper down suddenly as a thought occurred to her.  
"Mulder what you think a good name for the baby would be?"

Mulder continued to regard the paper as he absent-mindedly pulled 
on his upper-lip.  "How about 'Illegitimate'?"

Scully's eyes widened as she slowly turned her head to look at him.  
He held out as long as he could before a smile surfaced.  He looked 
over at her, now in full-grin.  

She smirked at him before she went back to browsing through the 
paper.  "You're incorrigible."  

Mulder got up off the couch and approached her, standing right next 
to her with his hands on his hips.  She looked up at him.  "What is 
it?"

He crouched down on his haunches and regarded her momentarily 
before reaching over and removing her glasses.  

"What are you doing?"

He simply looked at her until she raised her eyebrows in query.  His 
tone was low and mischievous:  "For someone as brilliant as you are, 
Scully, you sure can't take a hint."

"What do you mean?"

He continued to stare at her.  

And then she knew exactly just what he did mean.  An incredulous 
noise escaped her.  "Mulder..."

He took her hand in his two, brought it to his lips and placed a kiss 
there.  "I want you to marry me, Scully... I want us to be married."

She swallowed hard.  "Married?"

"Yeah, you know, like become husband and wife in a legal 
ceremony?  You've heard of it before?"

"Mulder you don't have to do this.  I don't want to rush into things--"

"It's a little late for that..." he said, poking her stomach.

"I know, all the more reason why we shouldn't rush *this*.  We have 
enough to worry about right now... we still haven't decided what 
we're going to do about work, our families..."

He sat back on the floor and shook his head, defeated.  "Are you 
turning me down, Scully?"

"NO.   No."  She sat up and took his face in her hands.  "Mulder, I 
would be so honored to be your wife.  Let's just not rush things.  Not 
right away.  Not until we get other things together."

Then he was beaming at her words, his smile warming her heart.  He 
reached over and pulled her to him, hugging her tightly.  "I love you" 
he whispered into her neck.

"I love you."

"No, you don't understand."  He kissed her lightly, then again.  "I 
love you so much..." he whispered again.  He kissed her neck, then 
opened the collar of her nightshirt slightly and kissed her collarbone.  
As he unbuttoned her shirt he placed a trail of kisses along the 
bridge of her cheeks and nose.  Scully lay back on the floor, taking 
hold of the front of his t-shirt.  She tugged at him gently, coaxing 
him down towards her. 

He smiled at her.  "Excuse me do I know you?" he teased.

"No," she shot back, the corner of her mouth turning up slightly,  
"but you're about to."  With a final tug she succeeded in pulling him 
down on top of her.  His hands moved up to caress the bare skin of 
her waist and abdomen as she held his face and kissed him with 
escalating passion...  

Afterward,  Mulder inched down to her abdomen and placed a kiss 
there, then rested his head against it's soft surface.  They lay there 
like that for a long time, she stroking his hair as he rested against her 
midsection, listening to the sounds of their baby in its nurturing 
cocoon.  

Night was falling before they started to consider getting up.  The soft 
hum of the refrigderator and the dim light from a nearby streetlamp 
threatened to lull them to sleep.  Mulder stretched and stood up, then 
headed for the bedroom.  When he returned, he was dressed in his 
jeans and a sweater.  He kneeled beside her and kissed her lips 
softly.  "Chinese?" 

She closed her eyes and nodded slowly.

"Moo Goo Gai Pan?"  

She smiled and nodded again.

He grabbed his wallet and headed out the door, setting the lock 
before he left.

Sometime later she glanced at the clock and decided she'd better get 
up as well.  She went into the bathroom to splash some cold water 
on her face.

Years later, looking back, she would say that an eerie calm had 
fallen over her before it happened, an ironic sense of peace 
precipitating eminent disaster.  She was wiping her face with a towel 
when a sudden, searing pain that burned like hot coal blazed through 
her abdomen.  She clutched her stomach and stumbled back a few 
steps.  She doubled over and cried out as another wave of pain 
assailed her.  She took another step back, feeling her back come up 
against the far bathroom wall.  A warm sensation tickled her thighs 
as she gasped and looked down at her bare legs.  A thick stream of 
blood was winding it's way down her leg.  On some level she became 
aware of a noise at the front of the apartment-- keys in the lock:  
Mulder. 

Mulder entered and looked around the room, curious when he didn't 
see Scully in the living room.  He went to the kitchen and placed the 
bags of food on the counter.  "Scully?" he called out.

Scully slid to the floor and watched as the blood continued to gather 
around her.  <Oh God my baby not my baby> she pleaded.  
<Mulder...>  The unbearable pain rendered her mute, she sat there 
unable to respond to Mulder's calls.

Mulder approached the bathroom and knocked gently.  Getting no 
response, he opened it tentatively and started in.  "Scully you in 
here?" he asked softly.  Then he saw her.  

She was on the floor,  leaning against the wall near the tub, her 
sweat-soaked pajamas clinging to her like plastic wrap.  She sat in a 
pool of her own blood, her eyes wild with fear and panic.  He rushed 
for her, wiping the damp hair off her face.  "Oh God, Dana..."

"...our baby..." was all she could manage.

Mulder ran for the phone and dialed 911.

******************************************

The doors to George Washington University Hospital's emergency 
room burst open as the EMTs wheeled Scully into the building.  
Mulder was at her side, moving with vast strides to keep up with the 
pace of the stretcher.  {She's loosing too much blood} Her breath 
was coming in quick and shallow gasps, throwing an intermittent 
fine mist of fog against her oxygen mask.  {Get her into the OR stat} 
Scully grasped his hand and she met his eyes in desperation.  Mulder 
felt sure his world was coming to an end as he watched her writhing 
in pain on that blood-soaked stretcher.   

As they approached the swinging double doors Scully reached up 
with her free hand and pulled down the mask.  "Mulder... Mulder! "  
his palm slid across hers as they moved her through the doors, their 
fingers curling around each other for just a second before breaking 
apart.  And Mulder watched as the love of his life was carried to 
death's door.  His world was fading to black.

***********************************

He had not been standing there 5 minutes when a young Indian 
gentleman in a lab coat approached him.  "Mr. Mulder?  I'm Dr. 
Singhal.  You're wife's losing a lot of blood." Mulder didn't bother to 
correct him.  "Her body's in great distress and we're concerned she 
could go into cardiac arrest.  She's insistent that we not take the 
baby, but if we don't... well I'm quite sure she won't be able to 
sustain further blood loss.  We don't think she's in any frame of mind 
to make this decision and usually--"

"Save her."  

"Mr. Mulder, if we do take the baby out, we presume it won't survive 
at this gestational--"

"*Save* her."  His eyes were fierce with determination and resolve.  
"Take the baby out if you have to,  just..."
his jaw tightened as he stepped closer to the Dr.  "... please, Dr.... 
bring her back to me."

Dr. Singhal regarded him momentarily before nodding quickly and 
returning to the OR.  Mulder stood there with his hands on his hips 
and watched him go.  "I'm sorry, Dana" he whispered outloud.

*******************************************

Just when he thought for sure he'd go crazy with not knowing, Dr. 
Singhal returned.  "She's being brought into Recovery now.  She's 
stable..."

"The baby?"

"Mr. Mulder... I'm sorry."

Mulder closed his eyes tightly and folded his arms in front of him.

Dr. Singhal continued.  "But I think--"

"What was it?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"The baby.  Was it a girl or a boy?"

The doctor regarded him uncomfortably.  "A boy."  

And that was the moment it formed; the empty space in his heart that 
he carried from that day on until the day he died.   In typical Fox 
Mulder fashion, he supressed his sorrow and put anger in its place.  
He swallowed hard and continued.  "Did you run those tests I 
requested?"

"Yes."  He averted his gaze.  "I must admit I didn't think... but at any 
rate, you were right:  we did find trace amounts of  an 
unidentifiable... waste product in her blood.  But it wasn't poisoning 
the baby as you proposed."

Mulder regarded him with curiosity.

"I'm afraid there was an infection, that's what caused the baby to 
abort.  It's not unusual."

Mulder nodded.

"Do you want to tell her?"

Mulder's thoughts, which had been far away, snapped back into 
focus.  "What?"

"About the baby... do you want to tell her or would you rather I did?"

"No.  I'll do it."

**********************************
Mulder sat by her bedside waiting for her to come out of the 
anesthesia.  He was utterly destroyed.  How was he going to tell her 
this?  How ironic, he thought, that she had agonized over telling him 
that she was pregnant, when now he sat here having to face telling 
her that she was not.

He buried his face in his hands and wept.

******************************

Mulder had fallen asleep in a chair at her bedside, still holding her 
hand.  He woke when he felt her stir.  He leaned forward to rest his 
elbows on the bed.  She came out of it slowly; her eyes fluttered 
open and she surveyed the room.  When she saw him, she attempted 
to turn her head in his direction.  

Her voice was barely a whisper:  "Mulder..."

He continued to hold her hand at his face as he looked at her.  He 
closed his eyes and slowly shook his head.  

She shut her eyes tightly and Mulder moved to sit on the bed.  She 
turned her head away from him.

"Scully..."

She looked at him briefly before turning over on her side with her 
back to him.   And that was the last time she really looked at him.  It 
was as if a heavy steel drape fell behind her eyes, locking her pain in, 
and shutting him out.  She never shed one tear for the child she'd 
lost.  Mulder stroked her hair, not knowing what to do.  He finally 
decided to give her a little time.  He leaned into her ear and 
whispered to her.  "I'm going to go get you a change of clothes so we 
can go home, OK?  I'll be right back."  She watched him go, then 
called for the nurse.

*************************************

Mulder returned a short time later and entered her room.  It was 
empty.  He walked down the hallway to the nurses station, where he 
was told by the charge nurse that she'd left some time ago.  

He tried her apartment, tried calling her mother's, he couldn't find her 
anywhere.  Mulder started to fear that maybe she wanted more than 
time...

After a few days of calling and leaving message after message, he 
decided to try her apartment again.  His heart was pounding as he 
headed down the hallway towards her door.  He understood how she 
felt, maybe what he'd done *had* been selfish. But at that moment, 
he had been blinded by the thought of never seeing her again.  He'd 
been through that before, and if he had anything to do with it, he 
would never, *never* go through that again.  He arrived at her door 
and fumbled with his keys.  He slipped the appropriate key into the 
lock and started to open it with his shoulder... but it didn't budge.  
He tried the key again.  She'd had the locks changed.  He knocked on 
the door, she didn't answer.  He pounded on the door.  Nothing.  
Mulder turned around and started to head back down the hall when 
the elevator directly across from her door opened... and there she 
stood, an empty laundry bag in her hand.  They stood there frozen 
for a second, then Mulder headed towards her.  Scully's heart 
skipped a beat when she saw him standing there; she didn't think it 
would be so hard to see him.  He entered the elevator just as the door 
closed behind him.  Curling his hand into a fist, he gave a quick 
punch to the emergency stop button.  He took a step toward her, she 
took a step back.

"What the hell is going on, Scully?"

She could only stare at him.

"What you're not even gonna talk to me about this?"

She regarded him for several seconds as the pent up emotion seeped 
to the surface.  Her breathing quickened.  "How could you?" she 
whispered.  "HOW COULD YOU?"  She looked at him, her eyes 
filled with grief.

"Scully I had no choice- you were *dying*, I--"

"No!  No you *did* have a choice.  I would've been OK--"

"That's not what the doctors thought, Scully..."

"I'm a doctor, too, Mulder.  My body's been through greater trauma 
than this.   I *told* the doctors what I wanted.  *You* knew what I 
wanted.  How could you show such complete disregard for my 
wishes?"  She shook her head at him, still unbelieving.  "Please just 
go."

"I wasn't disregarding--"

"You'll *never* convince me otherwise, Mulder; I *don't* want to to 
talk to you about this anymore!"  She started to turn away from him.

He reached out and held her face in his hands, forcing her to look at 
him.  "Don't do this, Scully--"

She pulled away moved to the control panel.  "Get out of here, 
Mulder, I don't want to talk to you!"  She pulled the button and 
exited as the doors opened.


****************************************

A week went by, then another... soon a month had slipped by.  
Mulder had sunk into a deep depression, eating very little, sleeping a 
great deal, and he hadn't left his apartment in over a week.  He sat 
there now in the dark, a half glass of Absolut perched on his chest as 
he replayed the conversation with Singhal over and over again in his 
mind.  A sudden knock at the door startled him.  He froze 
momentarily, then sat up quickly and dashed for the door.  "Scully?" 
he asked hopefully as he swung open the door.

"Not the one you were hoping for" Margaret Scully said at the 
disappointment in his face.

His posture relaxed as he turned and walked back into the apartment.  
He deposited himself in a chair and refilled his drink.  Margaret 
Scully stood uncertainly at the door for a minute before entering and 
flipping on a light.  She stared at Mulder a long time before going 
over and taking a seat at the table.  She took a deep breath and 
waited for him to look at her.  But it was several minutes before he 
did, and she had the opportunity to study him:  his hair was a mess, 
he obviously hadn't shaved or changed clothes in days.  His eyes 
were dark and soulless.

"Fox... what happened between you and Dana?"

Mulder sipped his drink.   He didn't know what Scully had told her 
mother and did not dare sidestep her again... too much damage had 
already been done.  "She didn't tell you?"

"She's not talking... to anyone.  I can't even get her to talk to me.  
What happened, Fox?  All I know is that you're not working together 
anymore.  Dana won't say anything else;  she goes around doing the 
day to day things like always but...  it's just...she's... she's not the 
same person..."

He leaned back in his chair and ran his hands through his hair.  "I 
can't help you Mrs. Scully."

"Fox, please, I'm so worried about her."

He said nothing.

"Did you... were you... " she shifted uncomfortably in her seat.  "Had 
you become more than friends?"

He sat there, saying nothing.  He glanced up at her briefly, but said 
nothing.  Her brows were knitted together in a look so trademark 
Scully it made his heart ache.

"I *can't* help you.  If  Dana doesn't want to tell you what happened, 
it's not my place to."

All Margaret could do was stare at him... this stranger; he was so... 
cold.  But she was not about to give up, so she pushed it.  "Maybe 
you could try talking to her--"

"She won't talk to me."  He got up and moved to the couch.

"Maybe you could try again..."

Mulder looked over at her, and for the first time, he met her eyes.

*******************************

Scully sat her desk staring at the memo she'd received earlier that 
day:  her approval for transfer to the Violent Crimes Section.  And 
her thoughts were once again of Mulder; what he had done still 
astonished her.  Whether or not he realized it, she felt his actions 
*had* been selfish... and cost her her baby.  She would never be able 
to look at him again without remembering that unbearable loss.  And 
some irrational part of her, fueled by pain and sadness, wondered if 
maybe he'd come to realize he wasn't ready to be a father; and when 
faced with that decision... She stopped suddenly as a noise outside 
her door caught her attention.  A few seconds of silence, then there 
was a soft tapping at the door.  She got up and approached, leaning 
her ear into the door.   "Who is it?"

"Mulder."

She struggled over whether or not to let him in.  If she didn't, she 
knew he would just keep coming back; she had to settle this with 
him once and for all.  But if she did let him in... she feared things 
might go very differently than she intended.  Eventually deciding on 
a compromise, she opened the door slightly, leaving the chain 
fastened.  And there he was.  She hadn't seen him since that night in 
the elevator over a month ago.  He looked horrible:  his face was pale 
and drawn, dark circles shadowed his eyes.  He had made a poor 
attempt to comb his hair and that stubborn cowlic remained defiantly 
out of place. It hurt like hell to see him.

"What do you want, Mulder?" she asked quietly.

"I want to talk to you."

"I don't think that's a good idea...  I told you: there's nothing to say."

"Like hell, Scully--"

"Mulder--"

"I thought I was doing what was best for you."

"For me?"  She shook her head at him.  "Or *you*?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Maybe subconsciously you knew you weren't ready for 
fatherhood..."

"*What*??"  

"Maybe you couldn't admit that to yourself... or to me."

"You can't mean that... how could you even think that, Scully??  You 
know I wanted this as much--" 

"Look this is just *not* going to work out, Mulder--" 

" 'Not going to work out' ?? You can't brush me off like some high 
school date, Scully... for God's sake, Dana... you know how I feel 
about you."  His eyes pleaded with her and for a moment, for just a 
second, he thought he saw something in her eyes...  but then it was 
gone, and those drapes were closed once more.

"If that's true... then you won't keep doing this; you'll let me go."   
She closed the door.  

 It was almost two and a half years before he laid eyes on her again.


End Part 4


Here's Spell 5.  It's a story about coming full circle, so any parallels 
between this and the first Spell are *intentional*, and not indicative 
of any laziness on my part 

Copyright info for lyrics to follow.

******************************************

{hearts and thoughts they fade,
{fade 
{away...

Spell 5:  Circle

Mulder had taken an extended leave of absence soon after that night 
at Scully's apartment:  the last time he'd seen her.  Eventually he 
returned to his work on the X-Files... alone.  There had recently been 
talk in the Bureau of reassigning him a new partner, but so far 
nothing had come of it.  In the meantime, he continued his work, but 
it was not the same with out her.  He'd heard that Scully was doing 
quiet well in the VCS; that didn't surprise him.  And he also knew 
that she had recently become involved with someone else:  Joel 
Miner, the agent who had interrupted that first dance they'd shared 
that night that seemed so long ago.  They were quite the hot and 
heavy item at the Bureau.  For him, his personal life was as empty as 
he felt inside.  Every woman he came in contact with that he might 
be the least bit interested in seemed to have "waste of time" stamped 
on her forehead.  But he continued with what he knew was a futile 
search;  knowing he'd never find anyone like Scully again.  She was 
the one, but he'd lost her.  She'd said that if he really cared about her, 
he'd stay away- and so he had.  At first, he half expected that she 
might come back to him, that she just needed some time; so for 
months afterward, his heart stopped every time there was a knock at 
the door, every time his phone rang.  Then the hope faded as the 
months turned into a year, then into two.  He couldn't decide which 
was worse- when he hadn't been able to see her because of her 
abduction- the not knowing; or this- knowing and not being able to 
see her.  His thoughts were with her always.


After that last night that she saw him, Scully had tried to put her life 
back together as best she could.  She buried herself in work, 
devouring every case that she could get her hands on in her new 
position in the VCS.  Eventually, the hurt got better, and as it did, so 
did her anger at Mulder.  She didn't know who was right or wrong 
anymore, and had decided that there was no place for blame in this 
matter.  He *had* done what he thought was right, even if she'd 
thought otherwise.  She'd replayed that last conversation they'd had 
over and over in her head.  She wished she could have taken back 
some of the things she'd said; her own pain had caused her to be so 
hurtful.  But no time for regrets.  They'd both moved on...  Joel had 
pursued her relentlessly from the day she'd started.  She'd held him at 
arms length for quite a while but when the pain she was harbouring 
wasn't letting up with time, she weakened.  So, in uncharacteristic 
Scully fashion, she'd allowed herself to get involved with him to ease 
that pain; to help her forget.  That was only a few months ago, but in 
that time, she grew to genuinely care for him.  He was sweet and 
kind and he completely adored her... and things were moving very 
fast.

Soon that time together seemed more like a dream--  ghostly images 
and faded memories...  

Then, the inevitable happened:  they ran into each other again.  
Ironically, it was at another Bureau function.  And everything came 
full circle.

Scully never imagined she'd see him at another Bureau affair.  He'd 
put in his time at the last one, and figured he'd had enough to last 
him another decade.  And besides, he'd never chance running into her 
again.

Mulder hadn't expected she'd attend; he'd heard from a friend in 
VCS that a case had called her out of town with her partner.  Pain at 
that image twisted in his heart.  Besides, even if she were in town, 
she'd never chance seeing him again.

**************************

Mulder entered the Sheraton Washington Hotel with a tall brunette 
on his arm.  Ellen was a technician in the Forensics Lab who had 
spent the last year dropping hints of interest in Mulder at every 
opportunity.  And since he despised going alone to these functions 
even more than the functions themselves, he'd asked her to 
accompany him.  They stood there now at the coat check waiting for 
the attendant to return.  He tugged miserably at his bowtie.

Joel held the door open for Scully as she moved into the lobby.  He 
helped her slip her coat off, revealing a stunning black velvet gown.  
It was similar to the one she'd worn to the last function, floor length 
and open-backed, but this one had long sleeves and a plunging 
neckline.  Her hair was loose, falling freely around her face.  Joel 
placed a hand on her back as they headed for the coat check.

The attendant finally returned and Mulder passed Ellen's coat over 
the counter.

Scully approached the coat check and stopped dead at the sight of 
the back of a man standing at the counter.  In spite of the 
uncharacteristic attire, she would've recognized that stance 
anywhere:  Mulder.  Joel looked over at her with concern "What is 
it?" 

Mulder took the ticket stub from the attendant and turned around.

Their eyes locked.

They stood there awkwardly for a minute before Joel made the first 
move.  "Mulder, how you doing?"  he asked, extending his hand.

Mulder shook his hand and nodded.  He looked at Scully, and 
misery darkened his eyes.  "Hi."

She offered a faint smile.  "Hi."

They continued to stare at each other for a moment before Mulder's 
thoughts returned to the present.  "Oh, um, this is Ellen Grant.  
Ellen, Dana Scully, Joel Miner. " 

After an exchange of handshakes, another awkward pause.  Joel 
turned to Scully.  "Ready to go in?"
 
Mulder watched her head towards the ballroom.  He and Ellen 
followed.

Joel and Scully finally arrived at their table.  "This is it, table 8."  He 
pulled out the seat for Scully before seating himself.   Scully 
watched as Mulder entered the room and took his table card.  They 
started moving through the crowd, searching for their seats.  They 
were headed right for her.  <Oh no please... not at the same table>.  
But they continued to move closer and closer, and Scully's heart 
pounded with increasing intensity with every step they took.  They 
finally arrived at the table, Mulder eyeing the card to make sure he'd 
read the number correctly;  he had:  Table 8.  It couldn't have been 
worse.  Not only would he be tortured by Scully's presence, but 
Kennedy and Higgins were also seated at the table.  The two of them 
never resisted an opportunity to aggravate Mulder.

As he expected, Kennedy was the first to pipe up.  "Hey look, Mr. & 
Mrs. Spooky!  What is this a reunion?"  He broke into bellowing 
laughter as Mulder and Scully cringed at opposite sides of the table.  
"But not anymore, right?"

Higgins turned to Scully.  "That's right, I hear congratulations are in 
order."

Mulder looked over at Scully.  " 'Congratulations' ?"

She avoided his gaze.  "Yes.... Joel and I are engaged."

His heart tightened in anguish, but he simply nodded.    

Dinner was agonizing and long.  Mulder could not keep his eyes off 
of her, he wanted to touch her so badly it hurt.  Scully let her eyes 
drift in his direction one too many times.  And Joel was watching 
every move they made.  He was less than pleased when Mulder got 
up and walked over to their side of the table.  He put a hand on the 
back of her chair and leaned down, extendeding his hand to Scully.  
"Will you dance with me?"

Scully looked at him, surprised, then over at Joel, then back to 
Mulder.  "Sure, OK."  She slipped her hand into his and he led her to 
the dance floor.  

Both of their thoughts were inundated with memories of that last 
function, the last time they'd danced like this.  The music couldn't 
have been more different- classic violin concertos; and obviously, the 
circumstances between them could not have been more different; but 
their effect on each other, it was very much the same.

He turned to face her, pulling her towards him.  He looked down at 
her, deep into her eyes, and he marveled at what he saw there:  the 
tiniest opening in that drape... a chance.  And the room fell into 
deafening silence.  He held her, his ears were ringing loudly, the 
only sound he was aware of was the steady rhythm of her breathing.

{ I swear I recognize
{your breath
{memories, like fingerprints
{are slowly raising
{Me you wouldn't recall
{for I'm not my former...

He gently caressed the bare skin of her back with his thumb.  Her 
skin broke out in goose flesh and Mulder pulled her closer.  The air 
around them seemed suddenly unstable, as if in danger of igniting on 
a molecular level.  They were silent as they danced.

The piece ended and Mulder, under Joel's watchful eye, reluctantly 
pulled from her and led her back to the table.  Through dessert and 
coffee she skillfully avoided his eyes as they endured Kennedy and 
Higgins' constant ribbing.  But eventually she'd had enough and 
excused herself abruptly.  Joel got up to go after her, and without 
even thinking... so did Mulder.  The looks he received from Ellen 
and Joel could've frozen over Hell itself.  Mulder sat back down.

Scully held up a hand to Joel.  "It's OK, I'm just going to go to the 
ladies room, I'll be right back."

Mulder was desperate to get her alone for a few minutes.  It would've 
been far too obvious if he'd left after she did, so he waited until 
sometime after she'd returned before excusing himself.

A few minutes later, a waiter approached Scully.  "Ms. Scully?  You 
have a telephone call."

"Oh."  She got up and followed the waiter into the lobby.  He 
pointed to a row of phones against the far wall, separated by slim 
dividers.

"Number four."

"Thank you."  Scully went to the appropriate phone and picked up 
the receiver.  It was dead.

"Hi" came a sudden voice from over her shoulder.

She whirled around.  She eyed Mulder admonishingly before 
replacing the receiver.  He had her boxed in, his arms resting on the 
dividers separating each phone.  "What are you doing, Mulder?"

"We're going to be heading out soon... I just wanted to get the chance 
to congratulate you... " He paused, then her eyes widened as he 
stepped closer and brought his face to hers.  He was mere inches 
from her.  "Congratulations..." he whispered.   He placed a kiss next 
to her lips, just to the side of her mouth.  The familiar scent of his 
cologne, the rough feel of his five o'clock shadow, brought back a 
rush of memories that sent her head spinning.  He lingered longer 
than he should have, then pulled back, remaining close to her.  He 
reached down and gently took hold of her hand.  "Can I see your 
ring?" he said, his voice low.   He examined it briefly, having no real 
interest in the item.  He held her eyes with his own.   "It's nice... "  he 
said, fondling the piece of jewelry.  After a moment he continued  
"...goes with your earrings."  He released her hand as the other moved 
to her ear.  He gently held her earlobe between his thumb and 
forefinger, never breaking from her gaze.  He let his hand remain 
there, his fingers lightly touching her neck. 

She swallowed hard; she was shaking so badly that she could see 
that wisps of hair around her face were trembling.  She struggled to 
keep her breathing even.   "Mulder..." she started weakly.

Suddenly Mulder felt a hand on his shoulder as he was turned 
around.  Joel's eyes were furious.  "What the hell are you doing?"

"I was just congratulating--"

Joel gave his shoulder a quick push.  "You listen to me you stay 
away from her."

"Look, I was just--"

This time Joel shoved him hard with both hands.  "Do you think I'm 
stupid?  You just *stay* away from her... haven't you hurt her 
enough?  You couldn't possibly take anything else away from her."

Mulder blinked, then looked over at Scully.  She lowered her eyes.  
She had *told* him?  He was completely blown away that she'd 
confided in him about the miscarriage.  He'd had some limited 
contact with Mrs. Scully over the past two years-- a phone call about 
a year ago to "see how he was doing", always a card at Christmas; he 
was fairly sure she didn't know.  That Scully could tell *him* and 
not even her own mother...   He straightened his jacket and continued 
to stare at Scully.  She would not look at him.  He looked back at 
Joel.  "I'm sorry.  I was just leaving anyway..."  He started to turn 
around.

"Don't bother looking for Ellen, she already left."

Mulder turned around and walked away.  And he never expected to 
see her again.

But he was wrong.

*********************************

Once again he sat in the darkness of his apartment, staring at the 
cool light of the fish tank.  It had been a week since he'd seen her at 
the Bureau's reception, and since that time he found his depression 
had returned full force.  The pain was unbearable, almost physical, 
and there seemed to be no relief.   He still could not believe that she 
had told Miner about the miscarriage.  Her feelings for Miner were 
stronger than he'd thought.  And seeing her with him, and knowing 
that she'd told him, it forced him to finally confront the finality of 
their separateness.

It was a warm night and Scully decided to make the most of her 
insomnia and go for a walk.  The last seven nights had been restless 
for her, as vivid images of her past with Mulder resurfaced.  She was 
drowning in her confusion;  she wanted to run as far away from him 
as possible, but at the same time, she longed to see him again.  These 
thoughts consumed her as she walked, and she was barely cognizant 
of the fact that she'd arrived at Mulder's building;  she hardly 
realized that she was entering the elevator and pushing the button for 
his level.  And she was almost surprised when she realized she was 
standing at his door.   

Mulder lay down on the couch, his head resting on his folded arms, 
when he saw a shadow in the light coming from underneath his door.  
He sat up slowly and waited.  Something, someone, was just 
standing there.  He got up and slowly approached the door.  He 
curled his hand around the knob... and swung it open.

Scully stood there staring at him, her mouth gaping, as Mulder stood 
there mirroring her expression.  Finally, she shook her head and 
turned away abruptly, heading back down the hallway.  "I don't know 
why I came here, I'm sorry--"

Mulder reached out and lightly took her arm.  "Don't go.  Please..."

She froze at his touch.  

He gently pulled her into the apartment and closed the door behind 
her.  He subconsciously set the lock.  "Come in... do you want to sit 
down?"  He nervously started clearing off a space on his chair.  He 
was terrified that the slightest thing he did or said would send her 
fleeing from the apartment.

And he was right.  Scully stood there in the middle of the room 
prepared to take flight.  What was she doing here? Why had she 
come?  But only the answers she didn't want to see came clearly to 
her mind...

They just stood there staring at each other in that dark apartment for 
what seemed like hours.

Finally, Mulder slowly approached her.  His voice was low.  "Why 
*did* you come here, Scully?"

After some time, and with tremendous effort, she finally started, her 
voice high and tremulous. "I never would've agreed to marry Joel if 
I'd thought ... "  She started pacing, ran her hands through her hair.  
"What am I doing? I thought this was finished, I really did..."

Mulder's heart was threatening to break out of his chest as she 
stopped in front of him.  "What are you saying Scully?"

"I.... "  she paused, swallowing hard.  "I don't know..."  Her voice 
dropped to a whisper, she lowered her face as she studied her hands   
"... I don't know if I want it to be..."  

He took a step closer, then slowly brought a hand up to wipe a wisp 
of hair off her cheek.  His voice was little more that a whisper.  "I 
think about you all the time."

She looked back up at him.  Her lower lip trembled ever so slightly, 
she blinked slowly.  "Mulder--"  she whispered back.

He brought his other hand up and lightly held her face, as if she 
would fade into an apparition if he held too tightly.  He gently 
caressed her cheek with his thumb.  He paused, then slowly lowered 
his face to hers, stopping inches from her own.  He forced the fear 
down his throat and let out a tremulous breath.  "I want to kiss 
you..." .

Her eyes fluttered and closed as she nodded, tilting her head up to 
him.  He brought his lips to hers.  They touched lightly as their 
mouths closed on each other.

{my god it's been so long
{never dreamed you'd return
{but now here you are
{and here i am...

They pulled from the kiss and studied each other's faces.  Mulder's 
hands moved to hold her waist as he leaned in and softly placed a 
kiss on her neck.  The familiar smell of her skin, her hair, was 
overwhelming, and brought tears of joy to his eyes; for the first time 
in his life, something he loved had come back to him.  A choked, 
muffled noise escaped him.  

Her arms came up to encircle his neck as she fought back her own 
tears.

He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly.  "I'm so 
sorry--"

"No.  No, *I'm* sorry.  I didn't mean what I said, I knew you wanted 
it as much--"

He pulled from the embrace and lay a finger gently on her lips.  He 
shook his head at her.  She looked at him for several seconds, then 
nodded; and they knew:  nothing more needed to be said.  It was 
time to move forward.

He kissed her nose, then gently brushed his lips back and forth over 
hers as a tremulous breath escaped her.  She stood on her tip toes to 
meet him, kissing his bottom lip, then lightly licked his upper lip.  
That was all that it took to send him into complete arousal;  he 
pulled her close and kissed her fully.  His head was spinning 
violently as dizziness increased its hold on him.  He broke from the 
kissing and held her at arms length.  She regarded him with 
confusion as he held up a finger, turning to move towards his desk.  
Opening the drawer, he produced a small blue-velveted box.  He 
wiped the dust off the top and approached her.  He stood just in 
front of her.  The corner of his mouth turned up in a shy smile as he 
slowly removed her ring, shaking his head at her.  He opened the box 
and took out the ring he'd intended to give her so long ago.  Still 
offering her that crooked smile, he tentatively slipped the ring onto 
her finger.  "Mine..." he whispered softly as he brought his lips to 
hers once more.  He slipped a hand around her waist, the other 
around the back of her head as he deepened the kiss.  She kissed him 
back feverishly, running her hands through the thick hair at the back 
of his head.  His hands shook with anticipation as he moved them up 
under the cropped sweater she wore to the bare skin of her waist.  He 
broke from the kiss and brought his lips to her neck as she tilted her 
head back.  He kissed her neck, letting his tongue taste the salty 
sweetness of its smooth flesh.  Her breathing was turning quick and 
shallow.  One hand caressed the bare skin of her back, the other slid 
down her back, just underneath the waist of her jeans.  He pulled her 
tightly against him.  "I want you..." he breathed.  "God I want you so 
badly..."  His lips returned to her neck as she reached for his belt and 
unfastened it.  He backed her over to the couch, turned, and sat down 
as she stood in front of him.  He unbuttoned the top of her jeans and 
brought down the zipper.  He held her waist and kissed the exposed 
skin of her abdomen.   Hooking his thumbs on either side of her 
jeans, he slid them down.  She stepped out of them as his hands 
moved back to her waist.  He pulled her down onto the couch until 
she was kneeling over him.  She held his face as he slipped his hands 
back up under her sweater, letting them slide down her back and 
underneath her undergarment.  "I missed you..." she whispered as she 
slid her fingers through the hair at his temple.  He pulled her closer 
then shifted to roll her underneath him.  She freed him from his 
jeans, then he lowered himself on top of her.  He found her, the 
familiar feel of her body sending a bolt of electricity through him.    
An experience both new and familiar at the same time, they made 
love, relishing the sweet bliss of rediscovery.  

As their movement became more frenzied, their excitement neared its 
peak.  Mulder stopped suddenly.  "Wait...stop..." he said 
breathlessly.

She slowed and looked up at him.

"I don't want this to be over yet."

She smiled and brought a hand up to touch his face.  "Mulder, we 
have all the time in the world."

****************************************

Afterwards, they lay there quietly for some time, enjoying the gentle 
sense of peace that filled the room like warm sunshine.  Mulder was 
the first to break the silence.  "What are you going to do about Joel?"

She sat up, forcing him to do the same.  She sighed heavily.  "What 
*am*  I going to do, Mulder?  How could I have been so 
irresponsible?  And he's been so good to me..."

Mulder pushed down his own jealousy and attempted to help her feel 
better.  "You were in a lot of pain" he said, caressing her back.

"That's no excuse.  I shouldn't have let myself get involved with him.  
I feel horrible."  She was silent for a minute, then continued.  "I'll 
just have to tell him the truth...  and *you'll* have to leave the 
country."

He smiled at her.  "I'm used to people being after me, Scully.  Tell 
him to take a number."

She flashed him that classic Scully look and he coveted every second 
of it.  "That's not funny.  It's going to be impossible going into work 
every day."

"You know, the Bureau's been wanting to reassign me a partner."  He 
smiled at her again.  This time, she smiled back.  And as she received 
that grin, she realized what she'd missed the most these past two 
years:  her best friend.

They fell silent again, until Mulder couldn't hold out any longer.  "I 
was surprised you told Joel about... what happened."

She wouldn't look at him.  "Well we never really talked about it, I 
couldn't.  He knew something had happened between us; so I just 
told him the basic story."

"Did you ever talk about it with anyone?"

She shook her head.  

He placed a finger under her chin and turned her face up towards his.  
She looked at him.  And when she did, she didn't see the reminder of 
the child she'd lost as she thought she would;  instead... she saw the 
man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.   That was all that 
it took.  One look into those eyes, those eyes that held compassion 
and kindness... and complete understanding.  The tears welled in her 
eyes.  Mulder pulled her toward him, resting his chin on top of her 
head.  And she cried.  She wept years worth of locking away that 
unbearable loss.  She wept for the son they'd never know, and for the 
two long years of what could have been  that were now gone forever.  
He held her, and eventually-- well into the night, her tears subsided. 

And as he held her, he believed.  He believed that they would be 
stronger, better.  That they were going to be OK.  Because she was 
right:  they had all the time in the world.


End Part 5


Lyrics copyright Pearl Jam "elderly woman behind the counter in a 
small town", 1993.


**************************************

Somebody told me
that this is the place,
where everything's better
and everything's safe...
            -Toad the Wet Sprocket

Spell 6:  New

They had spent an uncomfortable night on Mulder's leather couch.  
The fact that it was small was bad enough, but the damned thing was 
noisy.  Every move they made was an exercise in discretion.  But 
neither of them  wouldn't have changed a thing;  they would gladly 
have slept on a bed of nails if it meant being together.  Sometime 
during the night Scully had slipped on Mulder's t-shirt and he had 
recovered his boxers off the floor; a throw blanket kept them warm 
as they slept.  And as strange as it was, they felt like they'd never 
been apart.  From the moment they'd kissed last night, it was as if 
Mulder had never left her sleeping on that floor to go out for 
Chinese food; that every thought and feeling and memory had come 
flooding back like a wave and drown them in their past.  And after it 
had washed away, everything was the same... but new.  

Exhausted after talking well into the night, they had both decided to 
go in to work late.  It turned out to be a bad idea...

A loud, sharp knock jolted them from sleep and sent Mulder sitting 
upright.  They looked around, disoriented.  More loud pounding, 
this time accompanied by an angry male voice.  "Mulder!"

They looked at each other:  Joel.

"Mulder answer the door!  Is Dana in there?"  He pounded on the 
door so furiously that Scully feared he would break right through.  
Mulder started to get up.

"Mulder don't !" Scully whispered fiercely as she grabbed his arm.  
"Don't answer it..." 

The door continued to rattle.  "Damn it answer the door!!"

They sat staring at each other until the banging stopped and the 
hallway turned quiet.  Scully got up and padded to the door.  She 
listened intently... he was gone.  She turned around and looked at 
Mulder:  this was not good.

Mulder sat forward on the couch, his hands clasped in front of him.  
"What are you going to do, Scully?"

She sighed heavily.  "I have to talk to him.  Today."  She scooped up 
her jeans off the floor and slipped them on, then reached for her 
shoes.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"NO," she said emphatically.  "It's all right, I have to do this myself."  
She walked over and ran a hand through his disheveled hair.  "We'll 
meet for lunch a little later, OK?"

She turned and started to leave but Mulder reached out and took 
hold of her arm.  "Wait a minute," he said softly, pulling her to him.  
He embraced her mid-section and nuzzled her stomach.  She smiled 
as she looked down at the top of his head.  <God how I missed you> 
she thought with sadness in her heart.  She had missed his sweet, 
affectionate nature; his gentle touch.  She slipped through his hold 
to kneel in front of him.  Wrapping her arms around his neck, she 
hugged him tightly.  "Mulder.." she started, but the words choked in 
her throat.

"Sh-sh," he whispered into her hair as he caressed her back, "I 
know."  He tightened his hold on her.  "I know."

She pulled from his embrace and kissed him lightly, the unshed tears 
still glistening in her eyes.  "I'll see you later?"

Mulder nodded and watched her go, concern drawing his eyebrows 
together.  Obviously, Scully knew Joel better than he did, but the 
incident at the Bureau reception, then this morning;  Joel had a right 
to be angry, but he seemed to have a dangerous temper.  Mulder 
smiled to himself, thinking what Scully would say to him right now:  
"Mulder I can take care of myself."  <Yes,> he thought, <yes you 
can.  But you'll never get me to stop worrying about you, Dana 
Scully.>
**************************************

Scully sat on the couch waiting for Joel to show up.  She had left a 
message with his voice mail to meet her at her apartment.  He had to 
have some idea what this was about.  She'd been unconsciously 
distancing herself from him since that night with Mulder, 
withdrawing from him more with each passing day this last week.  
Scully flopped her head back on the couch.  What a mess.  She'd 
been so unfair to Joel.  She'd put him off for so long; if only she'd 
waited a few months longer, this might never have happened.  And 
then to agree to *marry* him?? What had she been thinking?  She 
hardly knew him.  Objectively, she knew she had not been thinking 
clearly;  that she had without a doubt still been rebounding from her 
break with Mulder, her miscarriage.  But it didn't help her feel any 
less guilty.  Her thoughts turned to Mulder.  She'd been the most 
unfair to him.  How could she have blamed him?  To shut him out 
like that--

A sudden knocking at the door pulled her from her thoughts.  She 
went over to the door, took a deep breath, and swung it open.

Joel stalked into the middle of the room and turned to face her.  His 
black hair was soaked with rain, his blue eyes were dark with anger.  
There was no kindness in those eyes today.

"Joel..."

He was silent, unmoving.

"I asked you to come here because I needed to talk to you."

"Where were you this morning? I came by but you didn't answer."

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about, I--"

"Where's my ring?"

"What?"  Scully followed his eyes down to her naked finger.  She'd 
had sense enough to take Mulder's engagement ring off, but she'd 
forgotten to put Joel's back on until she could tell him.

"What's this about, Dana?"   But he knew.  It was so clearly there in 
her eyes.

"Joel, I'm sorry..."  She pulled his ring from her pocket and placed it 
on the coffee table in front of him.

He picked it up and stared at it, still unwilling to believe.  He shook 
his head and started pacing.  

"I'm so sorry, Joel."  Her voice was slow and deliberate.  "I know it 
sounds like a clich‚ but you've got to believe me,  I never wanted to 
hurt you..."

"This is about Mulder, right?"

"Joel..."

"ISN'T IT?" he yelled.  He paused, then taking a deep breath to calm 
himself, brought his voice back down and continued.  "Isn't it?  God, 
Dana, after all he's put you through...  You just go back to him like 
nothing ever happened?"

"It's not as simple as that--"

"Oh it's not?  He shows up at some function one night, shares a 
dance with you and that's all it took?"  His voice was steadily rising 
back to a loud yell.  "A few seconds alone in the lobby and 
everything's fine?  What did he say to you?"

"He didn't say anything--"

"Did he tell you he was sorry, that you meant everything to him, that 
he couldn't live without you?  What line did he feed you, Dana?"

Now her voice was rising to match his.  "He didn't feed me any line!"

"And then you fall for it??  How could you be that stupid?!"

"Excuse me?"  

"Oh no, wait, I'm sorry, it wasn't that," he continued, his voice filled 
with venom, "you just couldn't wait to get back in his bed, right?"

She stared at him incredulously.  She knew he was hurting but he'd 
gone too far.  And it seemed she knew him even less than she had 
thought.

"Is that why you never let me get that close, Dana?  Because you 
were waiting to crawl back into bed with Mulder?  And here I was 
thinking you just wanted to take things slow, maybe wait until we 
were married...  If I had known being an ass was all it took to get you 
into bed well I wouldn't have wasted two years playing the nice guy--
"

"Get out of here!" she hissed, approaching him slowly with her hands 
on her hips.  Her eyes burned with outrage.  "Get out!"

"We're not finished."

"Oh yes we are.  Get out of here Joel."

"You're going to make me the laughing stock of the Bureau, you 
realize.  Dumped for Spooky Mulder--"

"Is *that* what you're worried about?? I don't care what those pencil 
pushing Neanderthals at the Bureau think.  Mulder is a better agent 
and probably has a higher IQ then all of them put together.  And I 
don't give a damn about your bruised ego."  

Something snapped in Joel's eyes.

She never saw it coming.

************************************************

Mulder was elated.  He went through the morning feeling that at any 
moment he would wake up and he'd be lying on his couch in that 
dark apartment... alone.  But no, it was real:  she had come back to 
him.  As difficult as it was for his mind to accept, she had come 
home.  He smiled to himself and thought of calling to see if she'd left 
yet; he couldn't wait to see her again.  But he decided against it; if 
she was still with Joel, the last thing she needed was him phoning in 
the middle of it all.   As if reading his mind, the phone suddenly rang 
out, startling him.  He reached for the receiver.  "Mulder."

"Hi it's me."

"How'd it go Scully?"

"Fine.  It went fine.  But I'm feeling a little emotionally exhausted at 
this point.  I don't think I'm going to come in today."

"Are you all right?"

"Yes I'm fine... you know.  It was... hard."

Mulder nodded into the phone.

"I'll see you at my place after work?  You have the new key, right?"

"Yeah."  He paused, tapping his pencil against the desk.  "OK, I'll see 
you later then."

The line was silent for a moment, then clicked and went dead as she 
hung up.  Mulder held the receiver at his neck as he chewed the 
inside of his bottom lip.  Then, he reached for his jacket.

*************************************
The rain had dried up and now bright rays of sunshine poured 
through the dissipating clouds and warmed the pavement of 
Wisconsin Avenue.  Mulder cracked the window and let the breeze 
blow in and ruffle his hair as he turned onto M Street and headed 
towards Scully's apartment.  He fiddled with the radio dial as he 
turned off and started into the maze of side streets.  He hadn't liked 
the way she'd sounded on the phone.  Something in her voice wasn't 
right; he was concerned that it hadn't gone well with Joel.  But that 
wasn't the only thing that was bothering him.  Some small, insecure 
part of him worried that maybe she was planning on leaving again;  
that maybe she'd changed her mind.  A swarm of butterflies fluttered 
in his stomach and the radio seemed to echo his thoughts...

{If you go a million miles away
{ I'll track you down, girl.
{Trust me when I say I know 
{the pathway to your heart...

He pulled up to the curb in front of Scully's apartment.

****************************************

Scully stood in front of the mirror examining her slightly swollen, 
bright red cheek.  She'd spent the last hour putting ice on it, but it 
would probably take some time for the swelling to go completely 
down.  By that time she would no doubt have a nice big black and 
blue mark, but she could probably cover that up with make-up.  
<Who am I kidding> she thought to herself, <I'm not going to be 
able to hide this from Mulder>.  The least she could hope for was 
that it wouldn't look *as* bad by the time he saw it tonight.  She 
hadn't even seen it coming.  Evidently, Joel hadn't either; the look of 
shock on his face after the impact seemed to indicate that.  Scully 
had been sent to the couch with the blow, and had reached up and 
touched a hand to her cheek to see if it was bleeding-- it wasn't.  She 
looked up at him, stunned... then furious.  

"Oh my God, Dana, I'm sorry--" He'd started to reach for her to help 
her up.  The danger had passed,  but pure instinct drove her to the 
other end of the couch where she grabbed her weapon off the side 
table.  She cranked back the hammer and steadied her trembling 
hands.  "Stop!"

He took another step closer.  "Dana--"

"*Don't* make the mistake of thinking I'll let you get away with that 
again you son of a bitch."

"I'm sorry--"

"Get out of here,"  she had said evenly, "NOW."

He had stared at her pleadingly for a few minutes, then lowered his 
eyes in defeat.  "This isn't over, Dana," he'd muttered on his way to 
the door.  He'd gone, leaving her there consumed with disbelief... and 
self-doubt.  She had always relied on her better judgment; of 
situations, of people.  But this whole thing with Mulder and Joel... 
and now this-- how could she ever trust her own judgment again?

Her thoughts turned to Joel's accusation.  Maybe he was right:  
maybe she'd never given that part of herself to him because she knew 
it still belonged to Mulder.  And it always would.  She continued to 
stare at her reflection for several minutes.  Finally, she went to the 
kitchen and took out an ice tray to refill her pack.  She was banging 
the ice tray on the counter when Mulder arrived and didn't hear his 
keys turning in the lock.  

Mulder opened the door, stuffing the keys into his trench coat 
pocket as he entered the apartment.  Scully was in the kitchen area 
making a racket with the ice cube trays.  He smiled and came up 
behind her.  He was only a few feet away when she turned around 
and faced him.

Mulder's smile faded as he caught sight of Joel's damage.  And the 
fury roared through him like a wild animal.

Scully could only stand there staring at him.

Without saying a word, he whirled around and headed for the door.  
Scully started after him.  "Mulder..."  She reached out to grab his 
arm, but it was like trying to stop a charging bull.  "Mulder don't!"  
She hurried around to try and stand in front of him.

But rage blinded him to her presence.

He continued to head for the door, backing Scully along with him in 
a scene that might have seemed comical to the unknowing observer.  
At the door she held her hands up against his chest.  "*Please* 
Mulder, don't do this!"  Her eyes pleaded with him.

She held him in her gaze for just a moment, then his eyes moved to 
the swollen area below her right eye.  He stepped quickly away from 
the door and with one swift movement of his arm swept everything 
off the side table.  "That SON OF A BITCH!!" he screamed.  He 
swung at a lamp and sent it careening to the floor.  "I'll kill him!"

Scully leaned back against the door and covered her ears with her 
hands as he continued to lash out at her furniture.  "Mulder stop it! 
Just stop it!" she yelled at him.  He paused, running both hands 
roughly through his hair and tried to regain himself.  He looked over 
at her.  Her voice dropped to little more than a whisper  "Please, just 
stop."

He walked over to her and pulled her against him.  He exhaled 
slowly.  "I'm sorry."

"No it's all right.  I took care of it, I'm OK," she said into his coat.

Mulder stepped back and, still holding her by the arms, examined 
her face.  Then, unable to tolerate the sight any longer, he closed his 
eyes and rested his forehead against hers.  "I'm sorry I wasn't here, 
Scully."

"It's all right, Mulder, I told you I'm fine.  I can take care of myself."

Remembering his earlier thought, he couldn't help but smile.  He 
hugged her close.

************************************

Later that night they sat watching television.  They both sat on the 
floor, Mulder leaning back against the couch.  Scully sat forward, a 
bowl of popcorn in front of her, as Mulder scratched her back.  The 
light from the television reflected brightly off her glasses.

"I never pegged you for a Trekkie, Scully."

"Trekker," she corrected him.

"My apologies." 

As his hand ceased it's motion on her back, she wriggled her 
shoulders.  "Keep scratching..."

He complied, reaching over and to collect a handful of popcorn for 
himself as he did.  He leaned back against the couch.  "You know.... 
the holodeck... now there's a place where we could boldly go where 
no two people have gone before..."  He smiled at her back.

She turned her head to smirk at him.  He raised and lowered his 
eyebrows at her, then pulled her back against his chest.  Even more 
so than he had before, Mulder cherished every moment of this quiet 
time with her.   She had been pretty silent all evening, and he knew 
she was thinking about Joel.  He sighed inwardly.  Things never 
seemed to be easy for them.  He decided he wanted to do something 
special for her.  What, he wasn't sure of yet; he'd never been very 
good at giving gifts-- God knows his sports videos hadn't gone over 
well.  But he'd give it some thought;  eliciting one of those coveted 
smiles had become his favorite pastime.  Mulder's thoughts turned 
once again to Joel and the anger settled in his stomach like burning 
lava.  This wasn't over yet.  <No,> he thought, <you and I are going 
to have ourselves a little chat, my friend.  Soon..>

***********************************

The next evening Mulder had gone to his place to get some of his 
things.  Scully surveyed the disaster in the kitchen and shook her 
head.  Oh yes, things were back to normal.  She sighed, rolling up 
her sleeves and started in on the pile of dishes.  Several minutes later 
she heard Mulder's keys turning in the lock.  She headed for the door 
to greet him, drying her hands with a dishtowel along the way.  She 
stopped in front of the door and waited.  But instead of coming in, 
he peeked his head around the door.  He smiled when he saw her.  
"Close your eyes."

"What?"

"Close your eyes; I have a surprise for you."

She flung the dishtowel over her shoulder and, placing her hands on 
her hips, closed her eyes.  She wondered what he was up to... 
"Should I be scared?" she teased.

Mulder came in, both hands behind his back, and shut the door with 
his foot.  His face was filled with child-like excitement.  "Hold out 
your hands."

She complied and waited for Mulder to make his next move.  As he 
did she felt something wonderfully soft and warm in her hands.  She 
opened her eyes and saw it.  Right there, fitting quite comfortably in 
her two small hands, was the tiniest, fuzziest, grayest dust-bunny of 
a kitten she'd ever seen.  A bright wide smile spread slowly across 
her face.  "Oh Mulder," she said lowly,  "it's adorable..."  She looked 
up at him.  He was grinning from ear to ear, quite proud of himself.  
"Where did you get him? her?"

"Him.  A lady in my building was giving them away and I thought 
we'd take one."

She brought the tiny creature closer and held it against her chest.  
"We don't have anything to feed it."

Mulder held up a finger and opened the door.  He reached into the 
hall and pulled in a small bag of kitten food and an empty box.

Scully cradled the kitten against her with one hand as she stepped 
closer to Mulder.  Her other arm reached up and pulled him down 
into a hug.  "Thank you."  She released him with a smile.

He smiled back at her, delighted that his gift was a success.  "What 
are you going to call him?"

Scully moved to the couch and sat down, holding the kitten up to her 
face and thought for a minute.  "I don't know.  I want to call him 
something special... maybe after someone I know."

"We could shave him and call him Skinner."

"Mulder!"  She shook her head at him, he smiled in return.

"Frohike?"

She eyed him sideways.  "I think I'll sleep on it thank you."

Later that night they lay in bed in peaceful slumber.  But forever the 
light sleeper, Mulder was awakened by the cries of the small kitten 
in it's box in the kitchen.  He looked over at Scully; she appeared to 
be sleeping soundly.  He slipped out of bed and went into the 
kitchen.  He flipped on the light and approached the box, smiling 
down on the little creature.

Having joined the ranks of the light-sleepers since becoming 
involved with the X-Files, Scully stirred when she heard noises 
coming from the kitchen.  She looked over at the empty pillow next 
to her.  She got out of bed and headed to the kitchen.  She stopped 
in the living room and looked in on the scene in the kitchen area.  
Mulder was sitting at the table in his rumpled t-shirt and boxers, and 
there in front of him on the table was the kitten, devouring a big 
bowl of milk.    Next to Mulder the little guy really did look like a 
dust-ball.  Mulder gently stroked the top of it's head with a single 
finger.  The corners of her mouth turned up slightly as she watched 
him; his tenderness never ceased to amaze her; his tall, lanky frame 
mindfully tending to that small kitten.  He did like to take care of 
things.  She thought of how he'd been when she'd been in the 
hospital after her disappearance; according to her mom he'd kept a 
near constant vigil by her bedside and refused to give up on her when 
everyone else was ready to let her go.  Well almost everyone.  She 
thought of the kind, devoted nurse who's reassuring whispers had 
helped her through her darkest moments.  The nurse that she was 
told did not exist...

She walked up behind Mulder as he was crouching on the floor 
settling the kitten back into it's box.  She knelt down beside him and 
placed an arm across his back.  "I know what I want to name him."

Mulder looked over at her.

"Owen."

He gave her a her a slight smile as he nodded.  Then, he brought her 
to her feet and held her against him, remembering those grim, 
desperate days in the hospital.  During those days, he never would've 
imagined that he could be here like this with her now... and he was 
so very grateful.   He kissed her, gently at first, then with more 
purpose.  His hands moved over her back as he continued to seduce 
her with his kisses.  "Let's go back to bed," he whispered into her 
mouth.

"I'm not sleepy," she whispered hoarsely back to him.

"Neither am I."

His arms tightened their hold around her waist as he straightened and 
lifted her gently off the ground.  He walked back to the bedroom 
with her, lying her down on the bed and letting his hands move 
slowly over the silky fabric of her nightshirt.  His kisses were soft 
and undemanding, but quickly turned more hungry.  When he could 
feel the heat of her rising body temperature through the light fabric, 
he slid it over her head.   He pulled off his t-shirt and boxers, then 
moved back for her.  His body glistened with sweat as he kept 
rhythm on top of her;  she kept her arms loosely circled around his 
neck as he drove her further and further towards the finish line.  She 
opened her eyes to find him looking back at her, but he didn't appear 
to be seeing her;  his eyes were hazy and far away with the focus of 
intense desire.  It was at that moment that her own passion broke; her 
eyes closing as he felt her body arch up against his.  He kissed her 
neck, her ear, as she relaxed underneath him.  He moved his lips to 
hers and kissed her lightly.  "Flip over," he breathed into her open 
mouth.  He lifted himself slightly so that she could do so, then 
lowered himself back on top of her.  He whispered softly in her ear 
as he moved above her.  Then, his breath grew uneven against the 
back of her neck as his passion escalated...

They lay there afterwards holding each other in the silence of night.  
Mulder was on his back as Scully slept heavily against his chest.  
His arm curled around her, he gently caressed the skin along her 
upper arm.  Though exhausted with satisfaction, he could not find 
sleep.

And his thoughts were far away. 

******************************************

The following morning was another changeable day in the nation's 
capitol; the first rays of sunrise being consumed by threatening 
clouds.  A few fat raindrops started to sprinkle the windows of the J. 
Edgar Hoover building.  

Joel headed down the hallway towards Greyson's office, wondering 
what on earth the old guy could want now.  It seemed every week 
Greyson had some mess he needed help cleaning up, and this week 
was no different.  He opened the door and entered the office.  "I got 
your message Grey--"  Greyson was not at his desk.  Joel heard the 
door close behind him and turned around.

Mulder stood in the corner of the room, his hand still on the door 
he'd just closed, as their eyes met in mutual contempt.  The distant 
rumble of thunder echoed in the darkening sky.

End Part 6


*****************************************


Spell 7:  Safe

"Mulder."

"Joel."  Mulder put his hands on his hips and approached Joel 
slowly.  Both men stood equal height, but Joel had at least 10 
pounds on Mulder.  Their eyes locked in fierce competition.

Mulder had promised Scully he wouldn't do this.  It took all his 
strength to keep the image of those beautiful blue eyes pleading with 
him in his mind as he regarded Joel, knowing what he had done to 
her. 

"I'm glad you're here, Mulder,  I've been wanting to have a word with 
you."

"Is that a fact."

"That's right."  He put his hands on his hips, mirroring Mulder's 
position, his voice steadily rising as he spoke.  "I want to know who 
the hell you think you are waltzing back into Dana's life after all this 
time; after all you put her through."

Mulder said nothing, he was concentrating all of his attention on not 
throttling the man before him.

"What did you say to her?  How did you convince her to do it?"  
Mulder's silence infuriated Joel further.  He stepped closer.  "You're 
not leaving until you tell me what you said to her!  We were perfectly 
happy--"

"Oh don't give me that crap!"  Mulder had struggled to keep his cool 
but Joel was pushing all the right buttons.   "She barely knew you.  
You moved in on her when you knew she was vulnerable."

Joel's fists clenched at his sides.

<Try it,> Mulder thought to himself, <go ahead, please, just give me 
an excuse...>

"Who the hell--"

Mulder could feel himself shaking badly with restraint, it was taking 
everything he had to maintain his self-control.  He waved his hand in 
the air.  "Look I only came here to make one thing perfectly clear to 
you--"

"No *you* look, if it wasn't for you Dana and I would be together 
right now.  I lost her because of you!"

"No *you* lost her on your own the moment you decided to talk to 
her with your fist!" Mulder yelled.

The room fell silent;  Joel could only look at him.  They were both 
breathing heavily now.

"I don't have to explain anything to you."

"No. No you don't; you just have to listen--"

"I'm not interested in anything you have to say.  You took her away 
from me, you--"

"She was never yours to have, Miner."

Joel's fist flew at him with surprising speed.  Mulder dodged the 
blow and twisted Joel's arm behind his back, putting him in a wrist 
hold.  He slammed him face-first up against the file cabinets, hard.  
"You listen to me if you *ever* so much as touch one hair on her 
head again, *nothing* will be able to stop me from coming after you 
and making sure you spend the rest of your life regretting it you 
sorry son of a bitch.  Not even Dana."  He released his hold and Joel 
turned to face him, his face furious with embarrassment.

They stared at each other.

Mulder turned and stormed out of the office, banging the door open 
on his way.

Joel massaged his aching jaw as he watched him go.  <Fire with fire, 
Mulder.  Fire with fire...>

**************************************
Later the following night they entered Scully's apartment still in their 
work clothes.  They had gone out to grab a bite to eat right after 
work, then on the spur of the moment decided to go to a movie.  
They came through the door still discussing the film, Mulder with 
the empty tub of popcorn cradled in his arm, picking at the popcorn 
seeds.  

Scully slipped her coat of and turned around.  "I'm not saying it was 
predictable... that's bad for your teeth...  just not that much of a 
surprise-- it really could've only ended one of two ways." She headed 
for the kitchen and called for Owen.  He emerged behind her from 
under the couch and she turned to pick him up.  Mulder passed by 
them loosening his tie, lightly tapping the kitten's head with a finger 
as he passed.  "He's low on water... I'll get it." 

Scully sat the kitten down as she moved for the couch and sat back 
heavily.  A few minutes later Mulder returned from the kitchen.  He 
knelt in front of her, putting his hands on her knees and gently 
pushing them apart.  He settled his hips in between them and leaned 
her against the back of the couch.  He kissed her lips softly, then 
again.  She reached up and slid his tie from the collar, then pushed 
his coat and jacket off his shoulders.  As they continued to kiss, he 
unfastened the buttons at his wrists and brought his hands up to hold 
her face.  His body slowly came alive at her warm, wet kisses.  
"What's wrong with me?" he whispered into her mouth  "I want you 
all the time."  She smiled into his kiss as he pulled her blouse from 
the skirt and let his hand creep up under her shirt. She unbuttoned 
his shirt and pulled him closer against her.  As things escalated, he 
slipped a hand behind her to the small of her back and pulled her to 
sit on the edge of the cushion.  Her face was flush with warmth and 
color, her eyes heavy with desire as she looked down at him.  "What 
are you doing?" she said thickly.

The corner of his mouth turned up slightly as he watched her, then 
his hands slowly slid around her back to the top of her skirt.  He 
unfastened the button and slid it down, taking everything underneath 
it with him.  He moved back to kiss her, then slid down to her 
stomach where he placed another kiss through the fabric of her shirt.  
He slid down a little further...

Her hands gently took hold of his face and guided him back up to 
her lips.

"Let me..." he whispered into her mouth.

She shook her head.  

"I *want* to..." he breathed, kissing her mouth, her chin.  He kissed 
the skin just above the opening of her blouse, then continued his 
descent of her midsection.  He placed a gentle kiss just inside her 
knee, then a little further.

She had no problems giving in this regard, but for whatever reason, 
in her admittedly limited sexual history, she'd always felt 
uncomfortable and had never conceded to receiving that kind of 
intimacy.  Maybe it was because she saw it as a complete 
submission, and never trusted anyone enough to let herself go like 
that... until now.

She propped herself back on her arms, weakened by the feel of his 
gentle kisses tickling the sensitive skin of her inner leg.  Her head 
fell back as his breath traveled further up her thigh.   And he took 
her to such places that she had never known...

**************************************

The following day Scully sat at her desk going over a file.  She could 
feel the eyes of the other agents on her all morning.  Obviously Joel 
had told a few of his buddies about their split.  They had been 
engaged no more than two weeks, yet the looks she was receiving 
made her felt like as if she'd committed the ultimate betrayal.  It had 
been extremely difficult for her when she'd started working in the 
VCS... Colton had made sure friends were scarce and that everyone 
knew she'd been "tainted" by working with "Spooky" Mulder.  She 
had worked hard to gain a few of the other Agent's respect, but now 
it seemed she was back to square one.  It was bad enough she had to 
avoid Joel, she couldn't avoid the whole Violent Crimes Section.  
She hoped Skinner would get back to her soon about the open 
position in the X-Files...

**************************************  
Mulder walked through the crowded bullpen of the VCS.  Scully 
looked up and her eyes brightened as she caught sight of him 
heading towards her.  They were oblivious to the stares of other 
agents.

His eyes smiled down at her as he arrived at the desk and crouched 
down beside her.  "Hi."

She smiled at him.  "Hi.  What's up?"

"Guess who wants to see us right away?"

She raised her eyebrows at him.

*************************************

Skinner eyed the two agents before him.  "Am I to understand, Agent 
Scully, that it is your intention to ping-pong back and forth between 
departments at your leisure?"

"No sir."

"Then it is your intention to remain with the X-Files if this request 
for transfer is approved?"

"Yes sir."

Skinner eyeballed them once more.  It had been a difficult decision 
and he had put off deliberating about it.  They were trouble, no 
doubt about that.  But he couldn't ignore the fact that they had also 
had one of the highest conviction rates in the Bureau.  And beyond 
that, he liked them.  He respected them.  As he sat there watching 
them now, he knew what his decision would be.  He nodded 
reluctantly.  "All right.... I'm approving the request."  He watched 
their eyes brighten.  "That is all."  They started to get up to leave.

"Agent Scully-- is that an engagement ring you're wearing?"

Mulder and Scully exchanged an uncomfortable look.  "Yes sir."  

"I had heard congratulations were in order.  Miner is a fine agent.  
Let me know if you'll be needing any time off."

Scully looked quickly at Mulder then nodded.  "Thank you, sir."

They got up to leave again.

"Agent Mulder can I have a word with you privately?"

Mulder looked at Scully, then back to Skinner and nodded.  She got 
up and left.

Skinner moved around the desk to sit in front of Mulder.  He took 
off his glasses.  "You all right with this Mulder?"

"With what, sir?"

"Agent Scully's engagement.  I know you two grew close during your 
previous work together on the X-Files, and I don't know what 
happened to initiate the initial request for transfer in the first 
place..."  he paused, giving Mulder the opportunity to offer more 
information on the topic.

Mulder stared back at him;  he wasn't about to.

Skinner cleared his throat and continued  "...but obviously you've 
patched things up.  I'm not asking as your superior, Mulder.  I'm just 
wondering if your OK with it."

"I appreciate the thought, sir.  But I can say with all honesty that I 
have no problem with Agent Scully's engagement."  Mulder could 
barely contain his smile.

Skinner sized him up.  "All right.  That's all."

Mulder got up and left the office.  Skinner looked after him and 
sighed inwardly, hoping he wasn't going to regret this decision.  It 
had been a quiet two years.

*********************************

Scully cornered him just outside the reception area to Skinner's 
office.  "So what did Skinner want to talk privately with you about?"

"Wouldn't you like to know."  He smiled at her annoyed expression.  
"He wanted to know if I was OK with your engagement."

Her expression turned amused.  "Your kidding."

He shook his head.

"What did you say?"

"I told him the truth:  that I have absolutely no problem with your 
engagement."  

Now they shared a smile as Mulder stepped closer.  He started to 
reach for her hand but a passing agent stopped him short and he 
brought the hand up to the back of his neck instead as Scully 
straightened uncomfortably.  He lowered his voice.  "So what do you 
say, Scully?  When are you gonna make an honorable man out of 
me?"  His grin taunted her.

"Mulder we've been through this.  What's the rush?"

He looked at her.  She was right, there was really no reason to rush 
things;  it was simply that more than anything he wanted to be 
married to her.  They'd already wasted too much time.

Her eyes softened at the disappointment in his face.  She knew she 
was putting him off, because she was so afraid of making the same 
mistakes again.  In the wake of her problems with Joel, her trust in 
her own judgment had been left badly bruised.  But every second she 
spent with Mulder, the more she began to regain that confidence in 
her decisions.  And as she looked into those eyes at that moment, she 
was sure of one thing:  she had no doubts about this.  She tilted her 
head to the side and smiled slyly at him.  "I think telling my mother 
might be a good place to start."

His face brightened.

"And Skinner..."

 He nodded.

"...and your mother."

He turned his head to the side.

"Mulder... you have to tell your mother."

He looked back at her.  Of course he'd have to tell his mother.  But it 
wasn't going to be easy.  Things had been so estranged between them 
for so long.  And seeing her would just bring about a lot of bad 
memories.  He finally nodded in response; she gave him a reassuring 
smile.

***************************************

"Dana?"

"Hi mom."  She stepped through the doorway and hugged the older 
woman before her.

Concern clouded Margaret Scully's face.  "Is everything OK?" 

"Yes, everything's fine."

And then she could see that Dana was indeed fine; her little girl was 
practically glowing.  She hadn't seen her like this in a long time.  
"What's going on?"

"Nothing, mom.  Can we sit and have some tea?"

She eyed her uncertainly, then nodded and headed for the kitchen...

Margaret placed a mug in front of her daughter and sat down across 
from her at the small table.  Dana asked about her brothers, her 
nieces and nephews, but she knew there was something else on her 
mind.  After several minutes of small talk, finally it came:

Scully adopted a casual expression.  "Oh, um... I'm going to be going 
back to work on the X-Files."

Margaret's heart sank.  Dana's work with the X-files had put her in 
great danger on many occasions, had almost taken her life once 
before.  And had succeeded in taking the life of her sister.  No doubt 
she would be facing such dangers again.  And of course working on 
the X-Files would also mean...  "And what about Fox?"

Her mother simply refused to call him Mulder, and Scully had long 
since given up trying to get her to do so.  She studied the table.  "Yes 
I'll be working with Mulder again."

Margaret studied her daughter's face.  "But that's not all..."

Scully looked up at her mother.  It was scary how she did that.  She 
raised her eyebrows and sighed.  "No.  No that's not all.  Mom...  
well let me start at the beginning."  She shifted in her seat.  "A few 
years ago, Mulder and I... we became... involved.  It didn't work out, 
and that was the reason I initially left the X-Files."

She nodded, remembering that conversation she'd had with Fox 
shortly after Dana had left to work with the VCS.  "What happened, 
Dana?"

Scully paused, examining her mug.  "He did something I never 
thought I'd be able to forgive him for..."  the words trailed off.

"What did he do?"

"I don't think I can talk about this..."  her voice choked with tears.

Margaret Scully reached across the table and took her daughter's 
hand.  Her tone was strong but compassionate.  "Dana Katherine I'm 
your mother... you can tell me anything."

Her voice was tight with emotion as she struggled to keep the tears 
down.  She had not planned on telling her mother about this, at least 
not now.  She didn't know how to begin.  Lowering her gaze, she 
started the best she could.  "I was... just after we became involved... 
we didn't plan it, we were careful..."  she sighed heavily and brought 
her voice down to little more than a whisper.  "I got pregnant."

Pregnant?  She certainly hadn't expected that.  Confusion filled her 
face.  "Dana...?"

"Oh mom..."  the tears welled in her eyes "I lost my baby..." She 
pulled her hand from her mother's and slumped forward on the table, 
burying her face in her folded arms.

Margaret got up quickly and went to her daughter's side.  
"Sweetheart, I'm so sorry."  She caressed her back soothingly.  "My 
God why didn't you tell me?"

She lifted her head, shaking it slowly as her mother pulled strands of 
hair from her tear-dampened cheeks.  "I thought you'd be 
disappointed in me... for acting irresponsibly, for getting involved 
with my partner, then getting pregnant..."

"Dana I know you better than to think you acted anything less than 
responsibly."  She ran a hand over her daughter's hair.  "But I don't 
understand; what did Fox have to do with you losing the baby?"

Scully stood and started pacing.  She wiped her hands over her face.  
"I had... complications.  I was rushed to the ER, I was losing a lot of 
blood, the doctors said I was dying but I knew... I told them not to 
take the baby, *don't* take the baby..."  she swallowed another lump 
of painful memories.  "Well they didn't think I was in any position to 
make that decision and in those cases they normally ask the father..."

"Fox told them to save you."

She stopped pacing and looked over at her  mother.  She brought her 
eyes to the floor and nodded.

"Of course..." Margaret said lowly, the conversation she'd had with 
Fox now becoming crystal clear.

"I blamed him."

"Honey that's a horrible position for anyone to be put in--"

"I know mom.  I know," she said as she returned to the table and sat 
back down in front of her mother, who was still crouching next to 
the chair.  "I wasn't thinking clearly, I shouldn't have blamed him... I 
don't blame him anymore.  We've moved past it."

Margaret put a hand over hers and smiled lightly.  "I could see that 
the moment you walked through the door."

A small, embarrassed smile appeared on her face as she suppressed a 
laugh.  She paused, then looked quickly up at her mother before 
returning her gaze to her lap.  "He's wonderful."  

Margaret nodded in response.  "He's loved you a long time."

Scully looked up at her, her expression curious.

"It was so obvious to me from that first time I met him--  In your 
apartment the night you disappeared.  And the way he was after you 
were found."

"Well of course, we were friends..."

She shook her head knowingly.  "The strongest marriages are built 
on friendships, Dana."

Scully stared at her mother, surprised, then followed her gaze down 
to her left hand.

"How long did you think it was going to take before I noticed that 
thing?"

A wide grin spread across Scully's face.

******************************************
The elevator doors slid open and Scully entered the crowded 
hallway.  She worked her way through the maze of desks in the 
bullpen and arrived at her desk.  Check that-- her old desk.  She 
placed a last few items in the box and hoisted it up off the surface.  
She turned around and headed for the elevator.  She gave a side ways 
glance to her left.  Joel was sitting at his desk a few rows over...  
watching her.  Her eyes returned to the front of the room as she 
picked up her pace and continued toward the elevator.

With a great sense of relief she exited the elevator and headed down 
the basement hallway.  She paused outside the door of Mulder's 
office... *their* office.  She smiled as she remembered that first time 
she had stood outside this door  {Sorry, nobody down here but the 
FBI's Most Unwanted}.  She opened the door and entered.  Mulder 
had cleared off her old desk.... recently she suspected, as she viewed 
the stacks of files on the floor in front of it.  She started to put down 
her box when something on the top of the desk caught her eye and 
she deposited the box on her chair instead.  Mulder had put a sticky-
note there on the surface of the desk.  It read, simply: "Welcome 
back.  I missed you."  And just above it, a freshly plucked dandelion 
flower.  She smiled as she tried to picture Mulder walking through 
the crowded hallways with that ridiculous weed in his hand.  And 
though she wouldn't have thought it possible... she loved him even 
more.

"Hi."

She turned around, startled to see Mulder standing in the doorway.  

"You know I'm not happy about having to find another place for 
these files," he teased as he entered the office.  "I was just beginning 
to get a system down."

"Somehow I doubt that."  The corner of her mouth turned up as he 
approached.  He smiled down on her.  Wrapping his arms around her 
waist, he pulled her up off the ground into a strong hug.

And they were safe.

End Part 7 

************************************

Spell 8:  Turbulence

Scully looked up from her paperwork to see Skinner standing in the 
doorway. 

"Agent Scully you requested a meeting with me this afternoon but 
something--"

Mulder appeared behind him and Skinner moved to let him pass.  
"--but something came up I'm going to have to postpone it." 

Mulder took a seat at his desk and pretended to read a case file.

"That isn't necessary, sir.  I just had some personal news to share 
with you."  

Skinner removed his glasses and approached the desk with a sudden 
look of concern that surprised her.  "What is it, Scully?"

"No it's nothing like that, sir.  I just wanted to tell you: my 
engagement with Agent Miner is off."  She glanced quickly over at 
Mulder.  "I thought you should hear it from me."

Skinner was silent as the pieces of puzzle slowly slid into place.  It 
didn't take him long to see the whole picture.  He hoped he was 
wrong, but if this had anything to do with Mulder...  He turned his 
head to look at him.  Mulder's head was down as he went over the 
file in front of him.  He raised his eyes to meet Skinners, and when 
he did, it was quite clear to Skinner that Mulder had *everything* to 
do with it.  The muscles along Skinner's jaw tensed.  He placed his 
hands on his hips.  "All right I want to see both of you up in my 
office right away."  He turned and started out of the office.

Scully shot Mulder a panicked look:  time we need more time.   At 
that moment she would've given anything  for even one minute alone 
with him *before* they got up to that office so that they could 
decide what they were going to tell him.  She knew they'd eventually 
have to tell Skinner, but this was way too early and they were 
completely unprepared. 

Mulder looked up at Skinner's back.  "We'll be right up."

Skinner stopped at the door and turned around.  "Right now."

Skinner moved down the hallway with the two agents trailing behind 
him like a couple of misbehaving kids being ushered to the 
principal's office.  Mulder and Scully looked at each other as they 
followed:  What do we do?  

Mulder nodded at her:  we should tell him.

Scully shook her head slowly at him.

Mulder raised his eyebrows at her as he motioned towards Skinner's 
back.

She responded with a sweeping gesture of her hand:  no way.

Skinner turned around at the elevator and caught her in mid-gesture.  
Scully thought suddenly that he looked like a microwaved potato 
that someone had forgotten to poke holes in; he was on the verge of 
exploding.

"Am I missing something here, Agent Scully?"

Her hand dropped to the side.  "No sir."

The three of them were silent as they entered Skinner's office.  
Mulder and Scully sat down.  

Skinner took his seat behind his desk.  "What the hell is going on 
here?"

They exchanged a look.  Mulder shifted in his chair.  "Sir?"

Skinner pushed his glasses back on his nose.  "Agent Mulder I get 
the impression that you have something to do with Agent Scully's... 
'dis-engagement'."

Mulder held his gaze.  "No sir."

"And I get the distinct impression that you're lying to me."

Silence.

Skinner moved to the front of his desk and leaned against its edge.  
He cleared his throat and continued.  "You're both aware of the 
Bureau's policy on such matters?"

Scully's voice interrupted another tense moment of silence.  
"Hypothetically speaking, sir, if two agents who worked together did 
get... involved... what would the consequences be?"

He studied them both before responding.  "In rare cases the agents 
would be allowed to continue working together, but typically policy 
would dictate that the agents involved be reassigned to separate 
sections."

"And so what would you suggest that agents who might find 
themselves in that position do, sir?"

Skinner took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.  "I would encourage 
said agents to give some serious consideration to continuing to work 
together, especially when other parties might see such a union as a 
weakness and decide to take advantage of the situation.  
Hypothetically speaking of course."

"Of course."  Scully looked back over at Mulder.

Skinner sighed in exasperation and moved to sit back in his chair.  
He eyed them both. "Well if you're sure there's nothing else you want 
to tell me, that will be all."

They rose from their chairs and left.

They stopped in the hallway just outside of  Skinner's office.  
Apparently Skinner had no intention of blowing the whistle on them; 
at least they had a little more time.  Now they had to decide what 
they were going to do.  Since they didn't believe the Bureau would 
let them continue working together, there were really only two 
options available to them:  one of them could leave the Bureau, or 
they could both leave.  At this point, neither option was appealing.  
The hallway started to fill with agents as the lunch hour approached.  
They straightened and headed back towards the elevator.  Once 
again, they would have to put off discussing it.  Mulder studied her 
profile as the elevator started its descent.  Maybe postponing it again 
wouldn't be such a bad idea; he had something else on his mind he'd 
been wanting to take care of for some time.

*****************************************
Margaret Scully opened the door to find herself looking up into the 
face of a man she hadn't seen in several years.  To say he looked 
better than the last time she saw him would have been a gross 
understatement.   A smile brightened her face.  "Fox."  Then, as 
suddenly as it had appeared, the smile faded from her face and a look 
of panic took its place.  "Where's Dana is Dana OK?"

"She's fine.  She's at home."  He shrugged at her.  "She doesn't know 
I'm here."

Relief drained the worry from her face.  "Come in, please."

Mulder passed through the doorway, standing uncomfortably in the 
middle of the foyer.

"Why don't you come into the kitchen I'll make us some--"

"No.  Thanks,  I can't stay."  He rubbed his jaw nervously, then 
dropped the hand back to his side.  "Mrs. Scully... I owe you an 
apology."

She looked at him in confusion.

"That night you came to see me..."

Her face softened with kindness and understanding.  She placed a 
hand on his arm.  "You don't owe me an explanation.  Dana told me 
what happened."

"I know.  I know she came to talk to you."

She stared at him, sensing that there was more.

"But I felt like I needed to tell you, to say I'm sorry about that night.  
I didn't mean to shut you out.   I didn't want to do anything that 
might exacerbate the problems Dana and I were having...   You've 
been so good to me--"

"It's all right, Fox."

He gave her an appreciative smile and nodded.  He stood awkwardly 
in the silence she seemed to be quite comfortable in.  "Well," he said 
finally, turning and opening the door, "I better go..."

"Fox?"

On the front step he turned around to look at her.

"Take good care of my little girl."

He gave her a small smile.  "I won't let you down Mrs. Scully."

"You never have Fox.  You never have."

***********************************

Scully rummaged in the cabinets for something to eat.  It was late 
morning the following day and they'd just returned from a walk.  She 
was still in her black leggings and baggy sweatshirt, her hair pulled 
back in a pony tail.  During their walk Mulder had told her about his 
conversation with her mom, and she was pleased he'd felt 
comfortable enough to go and talk to her like that on his own; she 
barely knew his mother...

Mulder came into the kitchen changed into jeans and a flannel shirt.  
He picked up his wallet off the kitchen table and stuffed it into his 
back pocket.

"Where are you going?"

"Down the street to grab a paper."

She nodded in response.

"Have you seen my keys?"

"Nope," she said absent-mindedly as she pulled a candy bar out of 
the fridge.

Her ambivalence annoyed him; a glimmer of mischief brightened his 
eyes.  He approached her, plucking the chocolate from her hand and 
placing it on the counter behind her.  He rested his hands on his 
hips.    "You're lying."

She smiled at him.  "What are you talking about--"

"All right:  assume the position."  

"What?"

He took hold of her upper arms and playfully turned her around.  
"Hands on the counter."  He kept a hand on her shoulder to keep her 
from turning around.

Now she was grinning from ear to ear.  "Mulder!"  

"Come on you know the drill.  Spread 'em."  He gently kicked her 
ankles apart.  

She laughed outright as his free hand tickled her with a mock 
frisking.

"Give 'em up I know you have them."

"Mulder stop it!" she cried through her laughter.

He stepped closer and she winced.

Mulder abruptly stepped back.

She turned around and faced him, a smile spreading slowly across 
her face.  "Sucker."

His eyes smiled back at her as he slowly approached.  

She backed up against the counter, her smile was wide, her eyes 
bright with child-like excitement.

He seized her waist and sat her up on the kitchen counter.

"Don't! Don't tickle me--Mulder please! My brothers used to tickle 
me I have a complex about it."

He smiled slightly at her lame excuse.  "I see.." he said, sliding her 
off the counter.

She wrapped her legs around his waist, her arms embraced his neck 
as he carried her into the living area.  "What are you doing?"

"Agent Scully I can see you have some unresolved issues related to 
tickling in your childhood."  He kissed her lightly, suppressing his 
devilish smile.  "I want you to come lie down on my couch; I think 
we should explore this further."  

He collapsed onto the couch with her, kissing her deeply as her 
fingers toyed with the hair at the back of his head.

She broke from the kiss and smiled at him through half-closed eyes.  
"Is this a normal part of your therapy, Doctor?"

"Yes.  Yes it is."  He grinned back at her.  "And I also like to 
videotape my sessions;  I hope you don't have a problem with that."  
He brought his lips back to hers as his hands started their journey 
over precious familiar territory.

The door bell interrupted them;  Mulder pulled from her kisses and 
sighed heavily in irritation.  He got up off the couch and started to 
head for the door.  Scully sat up quickly, reaching out to take hold of 
his arm.  "Last time I checked this was still my apartment," she 
teased.

He put a hand over his heart.  "Ouch."

Scully got off the couch and moved to the door.  She stood on her 
tip-toes and peered through the peep-hole, then looked back at 
Mulder and raised her eyebrows at him.  She opened the door.

A delivery man passed through holding a bouquet of at least two 
dozen red roses.  "Miss Scully?"

Scully glanced questioningly over at Mulder-- this wasn't exactly his 
style...

He shrugged back at her.

The delivery man placed the flowers on the coffee table and turned to 
leave.

"Wait a minute I'll get my purse..."

"No that's all right, it's been taken care of."

"Oh."

He disappeared through the door.

Scully moved to the flowers and opened the accompanying card.  

I'M SO SORRY.  PLEASE TALK TO ME, I MISS YOU- JOEL.

She looked over at Mulder and swallowed, then her eyes returned to 
the card.  "It's from Joel."

The light left his eyes as a shadow of rage and disbelief passed over 
his face.  Joel??  How could he have the audacity to try and make 
contact with her after the conversation they'd had?  He walked over 
to Scully and took the card from her hand, reading the message for 
himself.  His breathing deepened and his jaw tightened as the anger 
seethed through him.  He looked back at Scully.  "What the hell does 
he think he's doing?"  He threw the card back to the table and started 
pacing as his he ran his hands through his hair.  "I can't believe this!"

Scully approached him and took hold of his arm.  "Mulder."  He 
looked at the floor, passing a hand over his face as he tried to regain 
his calm.  She squeezed his arm and waited for him to look at her.  
When she finally had him in her gaze, she shrugged her shoulders.  
"It's just flowers, Mulder.  I don't want them.  Especially not from 
him."

He stared at her, the anger slowly ebbing.

"And frankly I'm a little insulted you'd think I'd even give one 
second's thought to going back to him after what he did.  And with 
what we have."  

He continued to study her face.  The simple fact was, she *had* left 
him before, despite "what they had".  He was a trained psychologist; 
he understood what she had gone through, and that she'd been acting 
out of unbearable pain.  They'd worked through all that.  But he was also 
human, and his own pain over that whole mess had left him with a 
deep scar of insecurity.  "It's not that Scully.  I just don't trust him.  I 
want to know what he's up to."

"Who cares?"  She shook her head at him.  "Let him send all the 
flowers he wants."  

*************************************** 

And he did just that.  As the weeks turned into months, the flowers 
continued to come, along with the accompanying cards:

I DON'T EXPECT YOU TO FORGIVE ME, BUT PLEASE I JUST 
WANT TO TALK TO YOU.

PLEASE DANA,  DON'T SHUT ME OUT, I MISS YOU.

I DIDN'T MEAN WHAT I SAID, I WAS ANGRY.  PLEASE CALL 
ME.

I LOVE YOU.  PLEASE TALK TO ME.

Scully had left several messages with Joel's voice mail for him to 
stop sending the flowers, but to no avail.  And with each card, she 
had to watch as Mulder just barely succeeded in swallowing that 
bitter lump of jealousy.  The flowers always went directly into the 
trash, but Mulder insisted on torturing himself by reading the cards. 
He gave a valiant attempt at feigning indifference, but the clenched 
jaw, the darkening of his eyes,  revealed his emotions.

And as the weeks turned into months, their love blossomed, despite 
Joel's occasional reminders of a time that both of them wanted to 
forget.  Yet even as their love moved forward, the circumstances 
surrounding them remained the same.  It wasn't that they weren't 
willing to take the next steps, but more that they were reluctant to 
upset the status quo.  They were enjoying every minute of this 
tranquil time together, and they knew that these steps would only 
bring about more turbulence to their lives.  So they continued to 
struggle with what seemed like insuperable decisions; never making 
any headway, never moving any closer to viable solutions...  They 
still hadn't decided on what they were going to do about work.  And 
Mulder had yet to tell his mother that he and Scully were even seeing 
each other beyond friendship.  He knew that this was what he had to 
do next.  But as much as he wanted to move forward with Scully, he 
dreaded talking to his mother almost as much.

*********************************************

"Hi."  Scully entered the office and closed the door behind her.  
"What are you working on?"

"Skinner wants this report before the day's over."

Sensing his mood, Scully watched him.  She knew it wasn't that 
report that was bothering him.  This whole thing with Joel was 
wearing heavily on his mind.  Mulder never did anything half-
heartedly, and he loved no less completely;  when he fell, he fell 
hard.  This situation with Joel was tearing him up and he was barely 
coping.  A pang of guilt jabbed at her stomach and she went to him.  
She hugged him from behind as he sat at his desk.  She closed her 
eyes and turned her face into his neck.  "I love you."

The corners of his mouth turned up slightly.  He turned around and 
pulled her down into his lap.  "Yeah... yeah I kind of suspected that 
when you started letting me sleep with you."

She smirked at him.  

His face turned serious and he ran a hand lightly over her hair.  "I 
love you too."  He studied her face.  "Are you OK?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing."

He stared at her, and thought how good she was at reading him.  He'd 
have thought that after all this time he would've come to expect it, 
but it still amazed him.  He pulled her close, resting his head against 
the warmth of her chest.  As he nuzzled closer, his cheek came 
against something hard underneath her shirt.  He reached up to undo 
her top button, then pulled her necklace up through the collar.  His 
engagement ring was hanging on the chain next to her cross.  He 
looked up at her, curious.   

She smiled at him. "I can' t wear it on my finger where it belongs, 
and I wanted to be able to wear is somewhere."    

Mulder smiled as he regarded the his ring resting against her cross.  
Somehow, it only seemed right that that was where it should be.  For 
now anyway.

"So when are you meeting Skinner?"

Mulder stood, bringing Scully to her feet as he did.  "Now.  I'm 
going to head out afterwards, will you be ready to go?"

"I have my own report to finish up, you can go ahead, I'll see you at 
my place a little later?"

He took her hand and smiled.  "OK.  But don't be too long."

She smiled back.

********************************************
Mulder entered the men's room a short time later and came face to 
face with Joel.  He was standing in front of one of the urinals 
finishing up his business.  Mulder approached him, glancing down 
briefly before bringing his eyes back up to Joel's.  "You know I think 
I saw one of those on an hors d'oeuvre tray once," he deadpanned.

Joel blinked, then scowled as he hiked up his zipper.  "If you came 
here to hassle me about the flowers forget it."

Mulder stared at him.

"You really didn't think I'd give up so easily did you?  Two can play 
this game you know."

"I'm not playing games here Miner."

"Like hell you aren't.  But that's all right.  We'll see who's the better 
player in the end."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Joel shook his head at him.  "Isn't it enough that you've blacklisted 
her in the Bureau, ruined her career?  In the end she *will* blame 
you for that.  And she'll regret the day she ever laid eyes on 'Spooky 
Mulder'."

Joel's words hit home; Mulder flinched inwardly.

"And when that happens and her world falls apart, I'll be there to 
pick up the pieces... just like I was before."

And suddenly it was very clear to Mulder what this was all about- a 
challenge; nothing more than a challenge.  It was about Joel wanting 
something he couldn't have, and his inability to handle what he saw 
as a defeat.

Joel straightened his tie in the mirror and turned back to face 
Mulder.  "Who knows?  Maybe I'll get a little piece of that ass after 
all..."

Mulder's self-control disintegrated with an explosion of rage as he 
grabbed Joel's collar roughly and forced him back into the wall.  

Two agents that were entering the bathroom saw what was going on 
and rushed over to pull Mulder off of Joel.  Mulder continued to 
lunge for him as the agents held him back.

Joel smiled at him.

Mulder shook the other agents off.  "Back off!  I said back off!"  
They released him and he stepped back, straightening his jacket. 

Agent Wills sneered at Mulder.  "What're you doing up here 
anyway?  Don't you belong down in the basement, Spooky?"

Mulder ignored Wills and kept his stare fixed on Joel, regarding him 
with a wolf's fierce protectiveness.  

Wills stepped in front of him.  "You listening, Mulder?"

Mulder gave Wills a quick shove back, then glanced once more at 
Joel before storming out of the bathroom.

********************************************

That evening Scully glanced at Mulder sitting on the couch as she 
came into the apartment and shut the door.  Keeping her hand on the 
door knob, she turned her head the slightest bit in his direction.  Her 
voice was low and even.  "What happened in the men's room today?"

Mulder stared at her.

She turned around to face him.  Her voice rose.  "What happened, 
Mulder?"

He turned his head to the side and started.  "Scully..."

"I asked you not to do it.  I *told* you I had--"

"It was an accident, Scully."  Mulder's voice rose to match hers; her 
tone putting him on the defensive.  "I ran in to him by accident, and 
he just started pushing all my buttons.  He thinks this is some kind 
of game! This guy is dangerous, I'm telling you;  dangerous or stupid.  
I had made it perfectly clear to him the last time..."  His voice trailed 
off.

Scully's eyes widened with anger.

Mulder leaned forward on the couch and took a deep breath.  He was 
silent a few seconds before continuing.  "All right.  I went to see him 
a few days after it happened."  He looked up at her.

She closed her eyes and shook her head at him. 

"Nothing happened.  We just talked."

"Right.  That's where you gave him the 'this town's not big enough 
for the two of us' speech?"

"That's when I made it perfectly clear to him that if it ever happened 
again..."

"What?  Did you threaten him, Mulder?  That's precisely what I 
asked you 
*not* to do.  I told you I took care of it."

"Well obviously you didn't."

A quick breath of indignation escaped her.  She approached the 
couch and took a deep breath.  "That's not the point;  you know 
that... you didn't know at the time--"

Mulder abruptly stood from the couch.  "I'm sorry Scully.  I couldn't 
just leave it alone.  But it's over and done with, I can't take it back 
now."

"No, but you can make sure it doesn't happen again."

He grabbed his coat of the chair.  "No, I can't."

"Damn it Mulder!"

He scooped his keys off the side table.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm not going to stay here and let you force me into making another 
promise I can't keep.  I need to go."

"Mulder!"

The door slammed closed behind him.

**************************************************

A little over an hour later Mulder opened the door slowly and came 
into the apartment.  Scully was sitting on the couch in her pajamas, 
flipping through a magazine while the TV played an old rerun of 
"The Avengers".  Owen slept heavily on the cushion next to her.  She 
glanced at him briefly as he entered.  Mulder moved to the nearby 
chair and collapsed into it, his hands still stuffed into his jacket 
pockets.  He looked over at her as she studied her magazine, then 
brought his eyes back to his lap.

Scully eyed him sideways over her magazine and watched him 
sulking in the chair next to her, then returned her gaze to the 
magazine.  

Mulder looked back over at her.  He rose from the chair and 
approached the couch, depositing himself heavily next to Scully.  He 
was quiet for a minute.  "I don't like when we fight."

She dropped the magazine to her lap and looked at him.  "Neither do 
I."

They stared at each other.  

Mulder reached over and took her hand in his.  "Scully... I'm sorry.  I 
never should have made that promise in the first place."  His stare 
was intense; he spoke slowly, punctuating every word.  "And I can't 
make it again."

She studied his face as his eyes pleaded with her.  She squeezed his 
hand tightly.  "Then *please*, just promise me you'll try... *really* 
try."

He nodded slowly and pulled her to him.  He kissed the top of her 
head and closed his eyes.  They stayed silent like that for a minute, 
then Mulder reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a small key 
chain.  A single key hung from its clasp.

Scully titled her head up to look at him.  "What's that?"

His eyes smiled back at her.  "Ever been to Martha's Vineyard?"

End Part 8

***********************************

Spell 9:  Outrunning Past 

Mulder was having the dream again.  He didn't have it every night, 
just once in a while- always when he was beginning to think he'd 
dreamt it for the last time.  It started well after that night: the night 
she'd been taken away.  Well after he'd stopped going to that 
mountain every night.  Well after he'd stopped staring into the starry 
sky, waiting for one of those stars to open up and send her back to 
him.  And in his dream, he got his wish...

A small figure lay huddled in the clearing below, deposited there by 
a beam of light that seemed to come directly from the sky itself.  He 
would tear down that hill, trench coat flying behind him like a 
witch's cape, hair forced straight back on his head from sheer force 
of speed.  Arriving a few feet in front of her, he would stop cold and 
stare at the figure before him, terrified of what he might find:  what 
had they done to her? Would she be the same Dana Scully?  Would 
she even remember him?  Coming within arm's reach of her, he 
would tentatively extend his hand to the small body quaking 
underneath the sheet, carefully sliding it back from her head.  Then 
the confusion would wash over him, his brows knitting together in 
disbelief as the woman turned her head to look at him.  "Kristen?  
What--  Where is she? Where did you take her? Answer me!"  But all 
she would do is stare back at him, her small smile sending a chill 
down his spine and turning his blood ice cold.  That's when he 
would see it:  the wolf.  A black wolf at the edge of the wood, barely 
perceptible in the murky darkness.  But the eyes, those yellow eyes, 
were clearly visible through the night.  It watched him: the untamed, 
the guardian, protector; mate for life.  Mulder stared back at his 
soul's reflection.  The creature looked back into the forest behind it, 
as if some silent sound had caught its attention.  Mulder could see, 
two by two, other pairs of eyes gleaming back at him from deeper in 
the woods.  He would watch, mesmerized, as the wolf turned and 
headed back into the forest, then, with a start, he would dash off 
after him.  For what seemed like endless minutes, he would blindly 
follow the pack deeper and deeper into the thick woods, knowing 
with a horrible sense of certainty where they were taking him:  
towards the smell of death... to her.  And yes, there she was, in a 
small circle of woods that wasn't woods at all, but an unnatural circle 
of man-made floor in the middle of the forest.  A single light 
suspended from nowhere cast light on the small body curled on her 
side with her back to him.  Patches of the white hospital gown she 
wore were smeared with blood -- fresh blood.  Her red hair hung 
longer down her back then when he had last seen her.  But the most 
horrifying thing, the most devastating, was that he was immediately 
aware that there was no movement from her.  None.  Not even the 
barely perceptible rise and fall of her side as her lungs took in air.  
She was still, too still... deathly still.  And he would know that he 
was too late; she was gone.  He would approach her, his knees 
weakening with every step, until he'd collapsed beside her.  Turning 
her towards him, he would gather her in his arms, taking small 
comfort in the smooth skin of her face against his cheek.  And the 
rage and despair and hatred would brew in his soul like a potent 
poison.  He would hold her, and even as her corpse grew cold in his 
embrace, he would not release her, because he didn't want her to 
think that she had died alone... that if some small part of her still 
remained, he wanted her to know that he was there.  Then he was 
furious with himself.  Furious for not paying more attention the last 
time he'd seen her.  But he had been annoyed with her;  had walked 
out on her, leaving her sitting there.  Why had he done that?  Why 
hadn't he taken that last precious moment to tell her?  To say I need 
you, my life hasn't been the same since I met you, I can't imagine it 
without you.  To say thank you for being my friend.  He buried his 
face in the tangled mop of her hair.  "Please don't go yet, Scully, you 
didn't say goodbye."  His voice would break as the sadness 
overwhelmed him and the tears burned in his eyes.  "You didn't say 
goodbye..." he would whisper through the strands of her hair.  Then 
she was fading slowly away, like a ghostly apparition, and he'd be 
left holding that small gown, keeping it tight against his face, still 
smelling of her... but then that was fading too...

Mulder woke with a start, then quickly turned his head to look at the 
other side of the bed.  She was lying there next to him, as always, 
warm and safe and ALIVE.  He stared at her for a second, the sweat 
gleaming on his brow.  He finally let out the breath he'd been 
holding, then turned on his side to pull her against his chest.  He 
held her, cherishing every warm breath that fell against his neck.   
"Dana..." he whispered softly in her ear as she slept,  "my life..."  He 
pulled the blankets up tighter around her.  She snuggled closer to 
him in her sleep, and soon he followed.

**********************************

The alarm went off early, well before daybreak, signaling that is was 
time for them to get up to start preparing for their drive to 
Massachusetts.  It was going to be a long trip.

Scully silenced the alarm and rolled back over to face Mulder as he 
stretched beside her in the gray dawn of morning.  She propped her 
head up on her hand and looked down at him.  

He opened his eyes to find her staring at him.  "What is it?"

She pulled her eyes from his and studied the sheet.  After a moment, 
she looked back at him.  "Who's Kristen?"

Mulder blinked at her.  "What?"

"Who's Kristen?  You were saying that name in your sleep."

He continued to stare at her, she stared back.  He sat up and looked 
back at her.  "It's not what you think, Scully."

Her stomach tightened.  "What am I thinking?"

"It was a long time ago, when you were gone... I was working on this 
case in L.A."

"Right, you told me about that--something about a trinity of 
'vampires'."

Mulder nodded and turned to better face her on the bed.  "Well what 
I didn't tell you... that woman who I was protecting..."

"The one who died in the fire?"

"Right-- Kristen.  Well... I became more... involved with her than I 
should have."

Scully was silent as she realized what he was saying.  "Oh..."  She 
pulled her eyes from his as she sorted out her emotions.  It had been 
a long time ago, to be sure, but she couldn't help it-- she was hurt.  
Hurt that while she had been taken and subjected to God knows 
what, that while she had been fighting for her life, her partner, her 
friend, had been...  

Mulder interrupted her thoughts.  "Scully,"  The disappointment in 
her eyes tore at his heart.  It was worse than he ever could've 
imagined.  He placed a hand over hers.  "There's no excuse for it; I 
know that.  But I need you to know what kind of state I was in."

Her eyes dropped to the bed as he continued.

"It nearly destroyed me, you being taken.  Not knowing what they 
were doing to you.  And that it was my fault--"

"Mulder--"

He silenced her with a hand.  "No.  That's the truth, Scully.  If you'd 
never met me or befriended me they never would've taken you.  That's 
just something I've had to learn to live with."

"You don't know that Mulder.  You said it yourself:  fate."

 Mulder considered this and nodded slowly.  "But at the time, I was 
devastated.  I wasn't eating or sleeping, or bathing for that matter.  
About the only thing I was doing was drinking a lot more than I 
should have.  Skinner had reopened the X-files but... it wasn't the 
same.  Then this case came along, and I was desperate to forget, and I 
let myself get caught up in it.  I wanted that darkness, Scully.  I put 
myself in danger, I slept with a suspect, because you were gone, and 
I didn't care if I died too.  I guess subconsciously I thought that at 
least then maybe the pain might stop."

As she listened to his words, the hurt subsided, because she 
understood.  Of all people, she knew first hand how pain could 
effect a person.  But her heart was sad.  Why were things always so 
complicated?  Why did it seem hurting each other was unavoidable?  
Would they spend the rest of their lives outrunning the past?  As she 
looked at him, she saw it didn't matter.  What was important was 
where they were now, and where they were headed, that in spite of 
everything they'd been through, they were together.  She reached over 
and squeezed his hand.  "Well that doesn't quite explain why you 
were dreaming about her," she teased.

Mulder smiled sheepishly and nodded, not meeting her eyes, then his 
face turned serious once more.  "Nightmares, Scully.  Just 
nightmares."

He looked up at her briefly, seeing that she understood, then both of 
their eyes returned to his hands.

"I said before it was no excuse.  I meant that professionally... and 
personally."

Scully looked up at him.  "Mulder, you don't need to apologize.  We 
weren't anything more than partners at the time--"

"Yes we were, Scully.  Yes we were."

Those blue eyes stared back at him.

"You know that.  Even then, as much as we pushed it away, we were 
more than partners.  At the very least we were friends, and I feel like 
I betrayed you."  His voice was low and tremulous, threatening to 
break as he finished.  "I'm so sorry."

"Mulder..."  she moved to him and encircled her arms around his 
neck.  "You don't have to apologize," she said into his neck.  "It's all 
right.  I understand."

He tightened his hold on her.

"I understand."

She pulled from his shoulder to look at him.  He kissed her softly, 
his hands gently caressing her back.  And he never had that 
nightmare again.

***********************

"You ready to go, Scully?!" Mulder called from the kitchen.

Her muffled response came from the bedroom.  "What?!"

Mulder gathered their breakfast dishes from the table.  He turned 
towards the sink to find the cat sitting on the counter in an outright 
breach of protocol.  Over the past few months, Owen had grown 
from dust-ball to full-blown tumbleweed.  "Owen get off the 
counter."  Mulder set the dishes in the sink.  

Owen blinked at him, then bunkered down on the counter until his 
front paws had disappeared under the long hair of his chest.  

"Scully you're raising an unruly child!" he called into the bedroom.

"Mulder I can't hear you!" she called back.

Mulder leaned against the counter with one hand, resting the other 
on his hip as he directed his conversation towards the cat.  "You 
know the rules:  no quadrupeds on the counter."

Scully breezed into the kitchen, glancing briefly at Mulder and 
Owen as she headed for the refrigerator.  "What were you saying?  
Owen get off the counter."  The cat promptly jumped down and 
trotted out of the kitchen area.  Mulder looked after him in 
exasperation.  Scully pulled some fruit from the crisper.  "I'm going 
to bring us something to eat for the trip.  How long will it take us do 
you think?"

"Well my mom's expecting us for a late lunch and I'm hoping to make 
that; depends on traffic.  Ready to go?"

"All set."

***********************

Mulder's mom had moved back to the Vineyard soon after his father's 
death.  Maybe out of some sense of obligation, or guilt, he had 
willed it to her, along with most of his estate.  Mulder had told his 
mother that they were going to be in the area for a case they were 
working on and wanted to stop by.  They had planned for a short 
visit-- a bite to eat, and then to head back to Washington.  Last 
minute planning meant that hadn't been able to get a flight, so they'd 
be pressed for time.  It would be very late by the time they got home, 
but they were both anxious to get back to the little niche of life 
they'd carved out for themselves; to their security blanket.

It was mid-spring and a beautiful day in the northeast.  The 
temperature slowly fell as they traveled;  by the time they got off the 
New Jersey Turnpike and pulled up to the toll on the George 
Washington Bridge, it was downright chilly.  As they idled in line at 
the toll, Mulder looked over at Scully sitting in the passenger seat 
next to him.  She'd been quiet the entire trip, and Mulder knew she 
was nervous about seeing his mom.  But he wasn't sure why.  He 
lowered the volume on the radio.  "What's on your mind, Scully?"

She shrugged in response.

"What are you so nervous about?"

She stared out over the rows of cars in front of them.  "I barely know 
your mother, Mulder.  I'm just concerned about how she's going to 
react to this."

"She likes you."

"As your *partner*, not as your wife--"  Scully stopped short, 
startled by her slip of the tongue.  They quickly turned their heads to 
look at each other.

Scully clamped a hand over her mouth, suppressing a laugh.

The corners of his mouth turned up the slightest bit.  "So is that how 
you think of yourself?" he teased.

She dropped her hand from her face, avoiding his gaze.  
"Apparently..."

He reached an arm across the seat and took her hand in his.  "Well 
good, 'cause it's only a matter of time."

**********************************

"Hi mom."

Mrs. Mulder smiled at her son as she pulled him into an embrace.  
"Fox."

"You've met my partner Dana Scully."

Scully extended her hand.  "Hello."

"Miss Scully, it's nice to see you again."

"Dana, please."

Mrs. Mulder gave a quick nod.  "Dana.  Come in, both of you."

"Sorry we're so late mom, there was traffic."

"That's all right, Fox."  She eyed them both in the uncomfortable 
silence.  "Well, you must be starving.  Excuse me."  She headed off 
into the kitchen.

Mulder put an arm around Scully as she stood awkwardly in the 
foyer and offered her a smile.

She smiled uneasily back at him.  She slowly took in her 
surroundings before looking back at Mulder.  "I think you should 
talk to her alone."

Mulder opened his mouth to protest, then stopped.  She was 
probably right:  he should do this alone.  He nodded at her.

"I'm going to take a walk."

"Come here," he said softly, pulling her into a hug.

*************************************

Scully sat on the shore with her elbows resting on her knees, looking 
out over the ocean.  Day was rapidly fading into night-- the sun had 
disappeared over the horizon and left the sky that violet gray that 
seemed to belong exclusively to dusk.  This talk with his mom was 
taking longer than she'd expected;  it was way past time for even a 
late lunch.  She hoped it was going well.  Ignoring her growling 
stomach, she took in a deep breath of the heavy salt air as the wind 
blew wisps of hair around her face.  Up and down the shore, she 
could see lights starting to come on as night started its descent.  
Scully watched the circling gulls and thought about her friend, her 
love, about what his childhood must have been like.  No, he hadn't 
spent all of it here.  There had been Chilmark-- with Samantha... the 
happier times.  Then, after her disappearance, his world had fallen 
apart.  Scully supposed that that was probably when he'd become the 
Fox Mulder she now knew:  determined, focused, driven.  He had 
grown up very early,  his sister's abduction being the catalyst, and 
had spent from that day forward in his relentless quest to find her.  It 
seemed that since they'd become more than partners, he'd been able 
to diffuse some of that intensity and focus.  Scully knew that his 
desire to find Samantha had not diminished, but that a kind of 
optimism had come over him; a certainty that he *would* find her, 
someday; that is was fate.  But she could still see the guilt there in 
his eyes, the pain, whenever they talked about it.  She was sure his 
parents had been loving in their own way--she knew they'd never 
been physically abusive; but in her eyes they were responsible for 
emotional torture.  Mulder had spent his life feeling like his sister's 
abduction had been his fault.  And they had let him shoulder that 
responsibility, knowing full well the culpability rested with them.

Mulder approached her from behind, startling her from her thoughts 
when he draped a heavy sweatshirt over her shoulders.  He sat behind 
her in the sand and pulled her back against his chest.  He pressed his 
cheek against hers, it was cool and soft.  He tightened his hold on 
her.  "You're cold."

She inhaled deeply.  "Feels good.  How'd it go?"

"Fine."  She could feel him shrug against her back.  "Mom never says 
much either way.  We got into talking about Samantha.  And Dad.  
She did invite us to have something to eat and stay the night, though.  
That OK with you?"

She smiled into the wind.  "I'd love to."

He nuzzled his face into the hair that fell against her neck.

She turned her face in his direction.  "What about Owen?"

"He's got plenty of dry food and water.  He can go without canned 
for one night."

"Yes but he'll be picketing when we get back."

Mulder smiled against her neck and rose to his feet.  He extended a 
hand to Scully, helping her to hers.  "Come on, let's go see if we can 
give her a hand with dinner."

*********************

Dinner came and went quickly.  Mrs. Mulder was a kind and 
hospitable woman, but had a certain formality about her that kept 
Scully from feeling completely comfortable in her presence.  When 
the last of the dishes had been stowed back in the cupboards, Mrs. 
Mulder turned to her son.  "I've prepared your rooms for you."

Scully smiled at her.  "Thank you, dinner was wonderful."

"Your very welcome."  She smiled awkwardly at the two.  "Now if 
you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to turn in."

The three exchanged good nights and Mrs. Mulder left them to 
themselves in the kitchen.  Scully turned around and raised her 
eyebrows at Mulder, giving him an unsure smile. 

Mulder gently lay his hands on her shoulders.  "Come on, I'll show 
you upstairs."

Scully entered the guest room.  It was warm and cozy and Mulder's 
mother had laid out some towels and an extra blanket for her on the 
small twin bed.  Mulder went over to the bureau and opened the top 
drawer.  "There's some extra clothes in here.  Mom is nothing if not 
prepared."

She smiled and approached him, peering into the drawer.  "Is there a 
t-shirt or something in there that I can sleep in?"

He rummaged through the drawer, then tried the two below.  "No, 
just this," he said, holding up a simple white cotton nightgown that 
would probably hang to the floor on her.

Scully stood on her tip-toes and pulled at the v of his flannel shirt, 
attempting to look underneath it.  "You wear one?"

"No not today.  Is this OK?" he asked, displaying the gown.

"No it's fine," she said, taking it from his hands.  "It's just these 
things always wind up bunching up around my waist, but I can 
handle it for one night."

Mulder grinned at her.  "If you need help de-bunching in the night..."

She smiled back and stepped closer, wrapping her arms around his 
waist.  

He kissed the top of her head before she pulled away.
 
"Where's the bathroom?"

"Down the hall to the right."

Scully stepped closer.  She looked up at him, her tone was 
conspiratorial.  "Sure you can't sneak back here?"

He smiled at the mischief in her eyes.  "You know I'd love to.  But I'd 
rather not rock the boat... mom's old fashioned..."

Scully nodded.  "OK."  She looked at him for another moment, 
reluctant for him to leave.  Finally she offered him a small smile.  
"Goodnight." 

"'Night." He leaned down to kiss her gently, then brought his lips to 
her ear.  "Thank you," he whispered.

She squeezed his hand and watched him go.

************************

Later that night Mulder found himself tossing and turning restlessly.  
He'd grown used to sleeping next to that warm little body.  Maybe he 
would sneak down the hallway after all...

Mulder opened the door carefully and crept into Scully's room.  
Halfway into the room he realized that she wasn't there.  

He found her out on the rarely used back porch overlooking a small 
cove.  She was sitting up on the picnic table, her feet on the bench, 
staring out into the night sky.  Mulder watched her.  The moonglow 
caressed her hair, giving it the appearance of living fire, the white 
gown reflected the same soft light and created a shimmering haze 
around her.  A creaking board signaled his presence as he stepped 
out onto the porch.  Scully turned her head back to look at him.

Mulder approached her.  "Can't sleep?"

"Guess I've gotten too used to having you beside me."

He smiled and nodded in understanding. 

Her gaze passed over the cove.  "Mild night."

"Yeah, that's New England weather for you."  

 Mulder approached her and lightly touched her arm, running a 
finger down to her hand.  She closed her eyes as he did.  He lay a 
hand on her knee, turning her to face him as he stood at the end of 
the table.  With a single finger he traced the low collar of her 
nightgown and saw her skin immediately tighten into goose flesh.  
He moved his hands up her throat to lightly hold her neck, then 
started a gentle stream of kisses along her lips.  Her mouth opened to 
him and Mulder stepped closer, positioning himself in between her 
legs.  He slowly started drawing up the fabric of her nightgown until 
he could slide his hands underneath.  He caressed her outer thighs, 
then moved his hands to her waist to pull her to the end of the table.  
She titled her head back as his kisses moistened her neck.  He moved 
his hand to the front of his boxers...

"Mulder, not here... let's go back upstairs."

He shook his head at her.  "Those beds are old and noisy... and she's 
a light sleeper."  He leaned her back on the table.

"A light sleeper?!" she whispered fiercely against his lips.  "We can't 
stay here."

His kiss turned into a smile.  "She won't be able to hear us out 
here..."

She caught her breath as he found her, bringing her arms up around 
his neck as he started his movement on top of her.  She sighed softly 
in his ear, then inhaled quickly.

"What's wrong?"

"I think I'm getting splinters..."

Mulder smiled and slowly pulled from her.  He pulled her up to a 
sitting position and helped her off the table.

"What are you doing?"

He took her hand and moved to the side of the table, sitting himself 
on the bench.  "Come here."  He took her hands and guided her to 
him until she was kneeling over his lap.  With a single finger he 
drew down the strap of her nightgown, letting it fall loosely off her 
shoulder.  She held his face, her hair lightly tickling his face as she 
leaned down to kiss him.  He brought his hands up under her 
nightgown and guided her to him.  Her arms loosely circled his neck 
as he moved inside her, tightening his hold on her waist as the sweat 
gleamed on his forehead.  She broke from his kiss and exhaled 
sharply into his neck as a crest of pleasure swelled in her lower half.  
As her warm breath spread over the skin of his neck, a tightening 
sensation at the base of his stomach signaled his own release was 
eminent...

They sat there afterwards, Scully sitting in front him, her back 
against his chest, enjoying the gentle breeze of that calm night.  They 
were quiet for a long time, then Mulder's voice, low at her ear, broke 
the silence.  "My mom was wondering if we'd set a date."

"Was she surprised we hadn't?"

"No."  Mulder cleared his throat.  "But it has been a while since 
we've talked about it.  Have you given any more thought to it?"

"You mean have I changed my mind?" she taunted.

"No I meant...  have you?"

"Mulder."

"Well what I meant is have you thought any more about the 
wedding."

She knew exactly what he meant, but was having fun watching him 
squirm.  "Wedding?"

Mulder's voice indicated his exasperation.  "Yeah you know:  guests, 
invitations, flowers."

She could no longer contain her smile.  "Flowers?"

"Yes.  Have you thought about what you might want?  I don't even 
know your favorite kind."  Remembering Joel's gifts, he ventured a 
guess.  "Roses?"

She shook her head and turned it back in his direction.  She smiled 
widely.  "Dandelions."

"Seriously."

"I am serious."

Mulder sighed lightly against his ear.  "Come on, Scully, you know 
what I mean."

She took pity on him.  "I like daisies."

"Daises?"

She nodded.  "Ever since I was a little girl.  I always thought they 
were such... sunny, happy flowers."

"Then daisies you'll have."

She smiled slightly.  "I'm still disappointed about the dandelions, 
though."

He smiled back against her ear.  After a minute he continued.  "What 
are you going to do about your name?

"What do you mean?"

"I mean your last name, once we're married."

"Well I thought I'd be taking yours..."

Mulder smiled.  "Really?"

"Yes, why do you sound so surprised?"

"I didn't know if you'd want to."  He shrugged against her back.  
"You know..."

"Isn't that the point? You find someone you love enough to take their 
name?"

"Not necessarily  I know a lot of women keep their maiden names 
now.  You've established yourself professionally as Dana Scully,  
you don't have to change that; I don't want you to feel obligated to 
change that.  I wouldn't be hurt or insulted."

Scully was silent for a moment as she considered this.  She'd always 
been a little old-fashioned about this subject.  But she wondered 
where Mulder was coming from.  Was he afraid of her taking his 
name because of the stigma attached to it in the Bureau?  She had to 
admit that for part of her that was precisely the reason she *did* 
want to take it.

Mulder misinterpreted her silence and decided to break the moment 
with humor.  "Well you could always take my first name."

Scully turned her head slightly back at him, her eyebrows raised.  

"Then we could be Fox Mulder and Fox Scully.  It's not like we ever 
call each other by our first names anyway."

"Well sometimes we do..."  she teased.

"Mmm, I like those times" he said, nuzzling into her neck.

"What I'll probably do is keep my maiden name professionally, and 
socially I'll be 'Mrs. Fox Mulder'."

Mulder was grinning from ear to ear,  loving the sound of those 
words.  He never thought he'd find anyone who would want that, or 
that *he* would want to be that, and least of all that it would be 
Dana Scully.  He pulled her closer against him.

*****************************

At Scully's request, Mulder had gone to the store to pick up a few 
munchies for their trip back;  Scully had wanted a few minutes alone 
with his mother.  But as she stood there now helping the woman 
clear the breakfast dishes, Scully felt as if she was losing her nerve.  
So she decided to tackle it head-on...  "I was wondering... how you 
were feeling about all of this."

Mrs. Mulder stood at the sink washing the dishes with her back to 
Scully.  "What?  Oh... I, I think it's nice that Fox has found someone 
he wants to spend the rest of his life with."

Scully moved to the counter beside the sink and leaned against it.  
"But...?"

"Well I must admit this seems a little sudden to me."

"I can assure you it's not.  Mulder and I had been considering moving 
beyond partnership for a long time.  And we've been together for a 
while now."

"It just seems.... strange to me.  I worry that maybe the lines of your 
professional and personal feelings have just become... blurred.  You 
two spend a great deal of time together, and it's only natural you'd 
grow close."  She shrugged lightly as she scrubbed at a stubborn pan.  
"But I wonder how close...  you still call each other by your last 
names."

Scully stared at her.  She was unable to explain why they still called 
each other Mulder and Scully.  As partners, that's just what agents 
did, but once they'd moved beyond that, the use of last names 
continued.  He was just... *Mulder* to her.  And he always would 
be.  She supposed it was the same for him.  She was just Scully, and 
though he occasionally called her Dana, for the most part their first 
names were reserved for those special, intimate moments between 
them when it just felt right to do so.  In many ways it made sense:  
professionally, it was appropriate that they call each other by their 
last names.  But personally, since no one else in their respective 
families referred to them as Mulder and Scully, the fact that they did 
so held a certain intimacy about it.  But it was useless to try and 
explain it to anyone else, even his mother, so all she could do was 
continue to stare back at her.

Mrs. Mulder turned off the water, wiped her hands on the dishtowel 
and turned to face Scully.  She lay a hand on her arm.  "It's nothing 
personal, Dana.  I suppose I'm just being an overprotective mother.  
I'm very happy for you both."  She offered a thin, tight smile.  
"Really."

Scully returned a weak smile of her own.  And she didn't quite 
believe that that was true.

******************************

The months moved on.  As they prepared to officially notify the Bur 
eau of their "situation", they started to make plans for their possible 
departure from the X-files.  Chances were they'd be split up, but just 
in case they were both removed from the project they wanted to be 
able to keep as much access to the X-files data as possible.  So, in 
blatant disregard for rules or procedures, they spent long nights 
photocopying files, dubbing video and audio cassettes, 
photographing items in evidence bags.  They expected these things 
would never be missed, most likely the X-files would remain as they 
had been before Mulder stumbled across them: gathering dust under 
plastic sheets.  But they decided it was better to be cautious, so they 
didn't remove anything from the office.  

And as the months moved on, Joel's flowers arrived with dwindling 
frequency and, eventually, stopped coming altogether.

Things were quiet with their families, despite the occasional subtly 
dropped hint from Scully's mom at when they might set a date for the 
wedding.

But for them, things were never quiet for long.  And the past was 
never far.

End Part 9

*******************************

All the roads we have to walk are winding,
and all the lights that lead the way are blinding...
                     -Oasis


Spell 10:  Believe

Scully sighed as she turned off the shower and reached for her robe.  
She *really* didn't feel like going.  Normally she didn't mind these 
Bureau functions, but she was tired, she hadn't slept well last night, 
and it had been one of those days at work.  The last thing she wanted 
to do was get dressed up and go out.  Why did they have to have 
these things in the middle of the week anyway?

Mulder appeared behind her in the mirror dressed in his tux, his bow 
tie hanging loosely around his neck.  He lifted a towel off its hook 
and draped it over her head, gently rubbing it back and forth over her 
wet hair.  A heavy sigh drifted up from underneath the towel.

Mulder continued to work at her hair.  "What is it?"

"I'm tired; I don't feel like going to this thing."

"So don't go."

"You're all ready..."

"So I'll get unready."

"No that's all right.  Just give me a few minutes--"

"Scully, don't go if you don't want to.  I'll go make a quick 
appearance for the both of us and head back home."

She reached up and pulled down the towel.  "Your sure?"

"Absolutely."

Scully smiled gratefully at his reflection.  And she remembered a 
night of another Bureau function, one that seemed so long ago, a 
night that held a first dance and a timid kiss that started their lives in 
a new and irreversible direction... {but sometimes Scully... I want 
you so badly it hurts...}.  At first she didn't think she'd heard him 
right, because she couldn't possibly believe he'd say those words.  As 
she studied the handsome face behind her now,  she wondered once 
more what it was about her that had attracted him to her in the first 
place.  Certainly she had a lot to offer a man, but Mulder was 
different (She had to admit, so was Joel).  Mulder was one of those 
guys who'd never given her a second glance in school, one of those 
jocks who passed over the brainiacs for the cheer leading squad.  But 
what she didn't know, was that Mulder had never been one of  'those' 
guys.  That he'd been one of the bright, quiet kids, the loners who sat 
in the back of the class.  *Exactly* the type of guy who would've 
daydreamed about the smart little red-haired girl in the front row.  

"Hello?  Earth to Scully..."

She focused quickly back at his reflection, pulling herself from her 
thoughts.  

"What are you daydreaming about Ralph Feinnes again?"

"Very funny."

"What he's not your type?"

She smirked back at him.  "Not necessarily."

"Oh no?"  He pulled her back into his arms.  "So what is your type?"

She smiled at his reflection through wisps of still-damp hair.  "Tall 
dark and Spooky."

Mulder smiled back, pulling her tighter against his chest.  "How 
fortunate for me."

Her eyes faltered as he started a steady stream of gentle kisses below 
her ear.  "Stop that..."

"Why?" he whispered.

"You have to go..."

"I can be late..."

As his hands passed lightly over the front of her, the robe slipped off 
one of her shoulders.  The corner of his mouth turned up in a 
devilish smile.  "See, Scully, it's a sign from God."

"God doesn't want you to have my body!"

"How do you know?"  They smiled at each other's reflections, then 
Mulder's face turned serious as he brought his lips right to her ear.  
He held her gaze in the mirror, his whisper warm at her ear.  "Bend 
over for me..."

Scully swallowed hard as his hand slipped underneath her robe.  
"You'll mess up your tux..."

"I don't care..."  

*********************

Scully sat on the vanity, facing him as he stood before her.  Their 
faces still flush with fulfillment, she worked steadily at his bow tie. 
When she'd tied it just right, she dropped her hands to her lap and 
smiled at him.  He leaned in to rest his forehead against hers.  He 
took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.  "Now *I'm* tired."

She brought her hands up to hold his face, gently caressing his jaw 
with her thumbs.

"I better go."

"Don't be long."

"Don't worry."

*************************

Scully was just heading back to the sofa to finish watching "ER", 
warm mug of tea in hand, when she heard Mulder at the door.  He 
opened the door and started into the apartment as Scully stopped in 
the middle of the room to greet him.  "Hi."

"Look who I found..."

Scully raised her eyebrows in anticipation.

Mulder stepped aside as Phoebe Green walked into view.

Scully's face froze at the sight of her.  She looked stunning:  the 
elegant emerald green gown she wore left little to the imagination;  
her dark hair was longer than the last time she'd seen her;  it hung 
softly around her shoulders in a long, sleek bob.  

Scully self-consciously smoothed a stray strand of her own hair off 
her face.

"Nice to see you again Scully."

"Phoebe."

Mulder shut the door.  "They didn't tell us they were inviting some of 
Scotland Yard's finest to this shin-dig, Scully."

"No."

Mulder and Phoebe looked like they'd just stepped off the run-way 
at an Armani showing, calling sharp contrast to Scully's own baggy t-
shirt and jeans... she wished the floor would open up and swallow 
her whole.

Phoebe flashed her best 'screw-you' smile.  "Too bad you couldn't 
make it, Scully, quite a party the Bureau throws."

Behind her Mulder shook his head at Scully. 

Scully's eyes returned to Phoebe as she continued.  "Anyway, hope 
you don't mind, but I thought I'd trouble my old friend Mulder for a 
ride home.  Save me the cab fare and all."

Scully's mouth curled into an expression that barely passed as a 
smile.  "Not at all.  So why the stop here?"

"Oh, I just thought I'd take the opportunity to say hello.  I'm leaving 
first thing tomorrow."

"How nice."  She was deliberately vague about which sentence she 
was responding to.

"Well what do you say, Mulder," Phoebe crooned, slipping an arm 
through his,  "shall we?"

"Yeah sure."  He broke from her hold and approached Scully, leaning 
in to give her a quick kiss.  "Be right back."

Scully locked the door behind them and leaned her forehead against 
the door.  She was consumed with jealousy.  Where was this coming 
from?  Phoebe seemed to have the uncanny ability to push every one 
of her buttons in perfect succession... and she barely knew the 
woman.  But what she was most concerned about was her ability to 
push Mulder's buttons;  she knew how Phoebe affected him.  That 
was blatantly obvious to her during that case they'd worked on.  
Mulder had said Phoebe was fire.  Scully didn't doubt that for a 
second.

****************************

Phoebe opened the door to her hotel room and turned back around to 
face Mulder, offering him a smile.

"Have a safe trip."

"Aren't you going to come in?"

Mulder stared at her.

"For just a minute?"

"I don't think so Phoebe."

"Oh.  Well.  Can I at least show you something before you go?"

Mulder eyed her suspiciously.

"I promise you can stay at the door."

Mulder smiled, suddenly feeling overly paranoid and extremely 
ridiculous.  He relaxed his posture and entered the hotel room.  But 
when the door closed behind him, he did stay at the door.

Phoebe moved to her bed, taking a book off of the night table and 
walking back to Mulder.  "Remember this?"  

Oh yes, he remembered.  It was an old book of poems they'd spent 
many a long night sitting in front of the fire going through, reading 
to each other, often not making it past two pages before becoming... 
distracted.  Mulder swallowed.  "How could I forget?"  Her eyes were 
boring right through him, Mulder suddenly felt like he had a laser-
sight on his forehead.  "Well good night Phoebe."

She turned slightly to throw the book back on the bed.  She stepped 
closer, her body just touching his, preventing him from turning 
around.  Her hands rested lightly on his chest.  "You're not really 
going to rush out of here so quickly are you?"  She leaned closer.  
"The night is still so young."  She lightly brushed her lips over his.  
She felt his breath rush out sharply against her face, and she knew he 
was hers.  She smiled in delight.  

The sirens went off in his head, and he cursed himself for letting 
Phoebe have this effect on him.  He would *not* do this.

But then she was pressing her tall and slender frame against him, and 
he was overwhelmed by the familiar smell of her, of the feel of her 
body, and the memories those sensations stirred in him.  His hands 
found her waist, and they were shaking badly.  "Phoebe," he started 
weakly, "I told you about Scully and me..."

Her voice fell gently against his lips, her eyes never left his.  "I know.  
But I'm certainly not going to tell anyone.   After all, here we are in 
this hotel room... alone.  Seems a shame to waste it."  One hand slid 
up around his neck while the other pulled his bow tie loose.  "Two 
ex-lovers, reunited, sneaking one more moment together..."  She 
unfastened his top button.  "Can you think of anything more 
exciting?" she whispered.

Mulder brought his trembling hands up to lower her arms.  "Yeah.  
Yeah I can:  fidelity."  He took hold of her upper arms and gently 
forced her back a step before releasing her.

Phoebe's face fell in genuine surprise;  she wasn't used to being 
rejected, especially by Mulder.  She straightened.  "Well,"  she 
conceded, her voice brisk with rejection, "she certainly has you 
chained doesn't she?"  

"You never did get it, did you Phoebe."  It wasn't a question.

"I suppose not.  At any rate, I do have an early flight tomorrow."

Mulder shrugged at her and offered back the sarcasm she was so 
adept at.  "And I thought we were friends.  Gee I feel so... used."

"Good night, Mulder."

"Good bye Phoebe."

********************************

Scully paced restlessly in her apartment.  What was taking so long?  
How far away was her hotel anyway?  Her stomach twisted into 
knots.  Mulder wouldn't...would he?  No, she trusted him.  She had 
to believe he wouldn't do that.  And she did; she did believe in him-- 
in them.  But she didn't trust Phoebe;  she was a master manipulator.  
Phoebe knew the effect she had on Mulder, and used it to her 
advantage.

Scully turned quickly to face the door at the sound of keys in the 
lock.  

Mulder came in and shut the door, throwing his keys onto the side 
table.  He was finding it hard to make eye contact with Scully, he 
was feeling guilty;  guilty for letting Phoebe have that control over 
him.  He had come out on top this time, but he was angry with 
himself for responding to Phoebe the way he did.  His body seemed 
to remember perfectly what his mind had spent over a decade trying 
to forget.

Scully waited for him to look at her.  When he finally met her eyes, 
she couldn't ignore what she saw there: guilt.  Her heart sank.

Mulder waved his hand at her, immediately on the defensive.  "Don't.  
Don't even start with me, Scully.  Not after all the crap I had to put 
up with with Joel."

"What happened Mulder?"

"Nothing happened."

She stared at him, then motioned toward his neck.  "Why is your 
bow tie undone?"

Mulder wasn't going to touch  that one.  "I loosened it myself on the 
way home Scully.  I told you:  *nothing* happened."

Scully watched him for several seconds.  She placed a palm against 
her forehead.  "I believe you, Mulder."  She dropped the hand back 
to her side and took a deep breath.  "I do.  It's just... why would you 
even offer to take her home in the first place?"

"I didn't.  She asked me for a ride.  What was I supposed to say?  
No?"

She folded her arms in front of her.  "Works for me."

"Come on Scully--"

"What?  OK, so if I ran into Joel somewhere and he asked for a ride 
home--"

"That's a completely different situation;  you know that."

Yes, she did know that.  But the jealously was coursing through her 
like molten lava, and as much as she hated it, wanted to be rid of it, 
she was powerless against it.  It was almost as if she wanted an 
excuse to lash out at him, to hurt him.  "Did you dance with her?"

Busted.  "One dance... her request, not mine."

That image only fueled the fire.  Scully shook her head at him.  Her 
anger and jealousy had reached boiling point;  she didn't know where 
it was all coming from, and was helpless as she felt it spinning out of 
control.

"It was just a dance, Scully."

"It wasn't just a dance for us, Mulder."

"But it *was*  for me and Phoebe."

Scully scoffed at him.  "Well, the last time I saw you two dancing it 
was anything but 'just a dance'.  I don't get you, Mulder.  What is it 
with you and Phoebe?  Is that what you want?  Do you even know 
what you want?"

Mulder had had enough.  She knew he had no doubts about what he 
wanted;  that her leaving him had nearly destroyed him.  He walked 
over to her and turned her around to face the mirror on the far wall.   
He walked her towards the mirror until they were just in front of it.  
"*This* is what I want, Scully.  You.  Just you."  

Scully stared at their reflection for a long time.  Her eyes met his in 
the mirror.  "What's wrong with us, Mulder?"

"There's nothing wrong with us, Scully."

"Then why do we keep doing this?  Shouldn't it be easier?"

He was silent a minute before answering.  "I think..."  he shrugged at 
her reflection.  "I think this isn't healed yet, Scully.  *We're* not 
healed."

She turned around to face him, her eyebrows drawn together in 
concern.  "What do you mean?"

His voice was low as he spoke to her, as if he feared someone might 
over hear them though there was no one else in the room.  "I know 
we talked about it.  Once.  But we've never talked about it since.  
And I think you still have a lot of unresolved feelings about it, a lot 
of resentment toward me..."  he was reluctant to actually say the 
words  "...about the miscarriage."

She turned quickly away from him and started to walk away.  "I don't 
want to talk about this right now, Mulder."

He reached out and took hold of her arm.  

"Mulder--"

"Don't walk away from this, Scully."

She pushed away from him.  "I *don't* want to talk about this!"  She 
shoved him back a step.  "Especially not with you!"  She stopped, 
bringing her eyes to meet his, stunned by her own reaction.

Mulder just stood there blinking at her, that still-sensitive scar 
splitting wide open.

She dropped her gaze to his chest, unable to meet his eyes.  
"Mulder... I'm sorry..."

He went to her, placing his hands on her shoulders.  

The tears welled in her eyes.  "I don't blame you.  I don't want to feel 
this way..."

"It's all right, Scully.  I know."  He pulled her against his chest.

Her words were muffled through his shirt.  "Things could've been so 
different for us, Mulder."

"Maybe.  But who's to say they would've been better?"

She sighed heavily.  "I don't know, I keep thinking about that day 
you came to see me-- in the elevator.  If only I hadn't turned you 
away... all that time we wasted..." 
 
They were quiet for a long time.  Mulder caressed her back, holding 
her close before venturing to broach the miscarriage topic again.  
"Do you ever think about it, Scully?"

She nodded against his chest.  After a minute she finished, her voice 
thin and high.  "Why does it hurt so much?  Is this normal?"

"Like I said:  it's just not finished yet."

"Then what can we do?"

"I don't think there's anything we can do.  I think it's just going to 
take time."

"Well that's depressing."

"No it's not.  I never expected this to always be easy, Scully.  And I 
don't care.  However long it takes, as long as I'm with you, that's all 
that matters to me."

She tightened her hold on him.  "I love you.  I need you, I don't want 
you to ever think I don't need you."

Mulder tilted her head up to look at him with a single finger, then 
smoothed the hair off her tear streaked face.  He kissed her forehead, 
she offered a small smile in return.  "Come snuggle with me on the 
couch,"  he said, taking her hands and leading her with him.  "Come 
on."  He smiled at her.  "I think they're replaying the Giants-Redskins 
game on ESPN..."

"Wonderful," she said, her voice flat with sarcasm, "I've been waiting 
all day..."

****************************

They didn't venture to the cafeteria often.  In fact they avoided it as 
much as possible.  Scully was sure the fact that they were more than 
partners was blatantly obvious to anyone who saw them together.  
She knew rumors about them had circulated long before anything 
had actually happened between them, but now, now that there was 
truth to those rumors, she found them impossible to tolerate.  But 
today, they were extremely rushed and had been buried down in their 
office under piles of paperwork.  There was no denying it, it was 
simply easier to eat at the cafeteria today.

Sensing her tension, Mulder started to bump his tray impatiently 
against hers as if to hurry her along.  

Scully looked nervously around them.  "Mulder stop that."

"Why?"  He gave it another push.

"You're calling unnecessary attention to us."

"Nobody's interested.  You're being paranoid, Scully."

She pulled two bottled waters off the counter, motioning with one of 
them alternately to him and back to herself.  "Pot-- kettle?"  She 
placed one of the bottles on his tray.

He smiled back and stepped closer.

"Mulder..." she cautioned.

"People are going to be finding out soon enough, Scully."

She stared back at him, knowing he was right.  But until it was 
official, she'd rather not call attention to the fact.

Mulder leaned into her ear, a mischievous smile brightening his face.  
"I want you right here, Scully.  Right here on the counter in front of 
the beef stew-like substance..."

"I'd rather we move down in front of the potatoes..." she joked back.

His face was solemn in mock disappointment.  "What you're not 
interested in my meat, Scully?"

Her eyes widened as she looked at him... and she suddenly had the 
worst case of church laughter she could remember having since 
Sister Breida's 9th grade catechism class.  She brought her eyes back 
to the tray and moved quickly down to the end of the line, desperate 
to get out of there before she burst out laughing.

Scully eyed him admonishingly as they approached the elevator with 
their trays, but she was having a hard time stifling her smile.  "You're 
incorrigible, Mulder."

He grinned back at her.

******************************

Back in the safety of the basement office, they discussed their new 
case over lunch.  As they talked, Scully could see that old familiar 
gleam in his eye,  something she hadn't seen for a long time:  the 
thrill of the hunt.

"I'm telling you, Scully.  There's something there...  I can just feel it.  
The first real X-file we've had in a long time."

"Well there was that yam with the face of Hitler in Mississippi..."

"I'm serious, Scully.  Look at this.  Nobody's lived in this house 
since the late 1920's.  The last family who lived there just got up and 
left in the middle of the night, left everything right there in the 
house.  Now it's become the next Amityville; no one will go near it, 
let alone buy it.  

"Mulder those are ghost stories.  A haunted house?  Every town has 
one."

"Not like this.  Last Halloween three kids broke in on a dare.  The 
two that came out are still in treatment for Post Traumatic Stress 
Disorder."

Scully raised her eyebrows at him, but was still reluctant to buy the 
story.  "Well, kids get scared, Mulder.  When I was eight years old a 
girl in my class was treated for an acute case of PTSD when she was 
sure a monster had come out of the woods and attacked her.  Turned 
out it was the neighbor's dog."

"Yeah, but the difference here is, these 'kids' were seventeen."

Scully stared at him, admittedly surprised.  "Well what did the kids 
that did make it out say?"

"They say the mirrors in that house have eyes."

***********************************

"My God, Mulder."  The car came to a stop in front of the old house.  
"It really does look like a haunted house."

Mulder unfastened his seatbelt and looked at the house.  It was a 
large three-story Victorian, windows and doors long since boarded 
up.  The house stood on a large piece of property;  there were no 
other houses in the immediate vicinity.  Mulder suddenly wondered 
why they always seem to be checking these things out a night.

After prying their way through the boards that barricaded the front 
door, they stood in the foyer of the old Victorian.  Mulder turned on 
his flashlight and surveyed their surroundings.  Scully was right:  it 
looked exactly like a haunted house.  Sheets were draped over most 
of the furniture, a thick layer of dust blanketed everything in sight, 
and cobwebs adorned various objects in the room.  Moonlight 
through stained glass cast an eerie bluish hue to the house's interior.

Scully turned on her own flashlight and aimed it in the direction of 
the stair case.  "I'll go upstairs."

Mulder nodded and headed off toward the kitchen.  Rats scattered 
off the table as he entered the room, dishes and plates were laid out 
as if expecting some ghostly guests.  Festering pots and pans filled 
the sink.  Mulder could hear the creaking of Scully's footsteps on the 
floorboards above him as he moved to the dining area, then to the 
living room.  There didn't seem to be anything particularly out of the 
ordinary about the house itself... except--  Mulder quickly turned the 
beam of his flashlight to far wall of the living room.  The mirror on 
the other side reflected back its light.  He went back to the dining 
room, then to the kitchen.  Every room had a mirror, even the 
kitchen.  A large, ornate mirror that seemed to be the centerpiece of 
every room.  They were of various shapes, but all of them were 
almost floor to ceiling.  Mulder approached the one to the side of a 
counter in the large kitchen.  Something about the reflection of his 
flashlight was off: it wasn't coming straight back at him like it 
should have.  It was at an angle, and it appeared to be shifting.  
Mulder approached it, attempting to adjust his flashlight so that the 
glare wouldn't prevent him from getting a better look.  He caught 
sight of an old kerosene lamp on the table.  Mulder lit the wick and 
turned up the light brightly, illuminating the room in a dim glow.  He 
looked back at the mirror.  At first he thought the light from the old 
lamp was playing tricks with his eyes, but then he realized it was no 
trick:  the mirror was reflecting back the room, but not *this* room.  
The room it was reflecting had a bed and chair, along with an old 
armoire.  Mulder guessed it was one of the bedrooms upstairs.  As he 
stepped closer for a better look, a dark shadow passed through the 
reflection.  He stepped closer and he saw the shadow again, it moved 
slightly every time he made a move, as if luring him closer and 
closer...  Mulder stopped and took a step backward, then another, 
and as he did so the figure headed right towards him.  He took a few 
more steps backwards, and as he suspected, the figure passed into 
the room.  Mulder froze and watched it with fear and fascination.  It 
was somewhat humanoid in form, though not defined.  It floated 
around the room like a piece of tissue paper in the wind, but there 
seemed to be a sense of purpose in its movements.  Mulder held his 
breath as it approached, circling behind him.  Out of instinct, his 
hand slowly moved to his holster.  With a strong gust of air the 
figure rushed at him and before he knew what was happening, it 
could've only been a matter of seconds, he found himself chained to 
a pipe directly above his head with his own handcuffs.  He twisted 
around to look behind him, then to the rest of the room.  The figure 
was gone.  A beam of light swept suddenly through the kitchen and 
Mulder swung his head around to its source:  it was coming from the 
mirror.  As Mulder watched with escalating fear, he could see the 
light was coming from a flashlight: Scully's flashlight.  He could see 
her in the mirror, entering the bedroom and starting her exploration.  
As he continued to watch her, her light came to rest on the mirror.  
She started to approach it.

"Scully don't!" he called out instinctively, though it was useless, the 
large room swallowed his words.  He looked up at the pipe he was 
secured to.  It was old and gave the slightest as he pulled on it.  He 
began to yank on it with more force.  He looked briefly back at the 
mirror and saw that Scully had moved away from the mirror and was 
investigating the old armoire.  He continued to work at the pipe, 
shooting a glance to the mirror every few seconds.  Mulder stopped 
when he saw Scully inevitably turned her attention back to that 
ornate looking-glass.

"No Scully... come on stay away from the mirror," he muttered out 
loud to himself.  He let the full force of his weight pull at the pipe.  
Looking back at the mirror, he could see her coming closer....  He 
tugged with increasing desperation at the pipe, until he could feel 
thick streams of warm blood running down inside his sleeves from 
his wrists.  Suddenly, with a loud creaking noise, the old pipe came 
loose at the joint and Mulder slipped his arms free.  Stumbling 
through the swinging kitchen door, he immediately headed for the 
staircase and bolted up to the second floor.  He flung open the door 
to the first room he came to, and luck was with him:  it was the right 
room.  Scully was standing just in front of the mirror as he entered.

"Scully!"

She turned around quickly to face him, startled.  "God Mulder you 
scared me,  what--"

Mulder watched as something appeared in the mirror behind her, the 
same dark shadow he'd seen down stairs.  It came slightly out and 
pulled her back against the mirror.  But instead of coming up against 
it, she was pulled right through its surface like a sinking piece of 
driftwood in a pool of water.  In a matter of seconds she was gone.  
Mulder quickly shoved his hands into his pocket and fished out the 
key to his handcuffs.  With trembling but determined hands, he 
successfully released his wrists and moved for the mirror.  He paused 
just in front of it, raising his hands up at the face of the mirror.  The 
surface appeared unstable, almost liquid, a dark silver gray that 
suddenly had stopped reflecting.  Grimacing, Mulder braced himself 
and pushed his hands through the substance.  It had looked like 
liquid, but was gelatinous to the touch.  His hands found her just 
inside, and he took hold of the lapels of her trench coat and started 
to pull her out.  She came to him slowly, like a fly through honey, 
until he had dragged her completely out of the mirror.  As he did so, 
a loud cracking noise came from the mirror.  Mulder took a few steps 
away and lay her on the floor, covering her with his own body as the 
mirror smashed into a million pieces.  The deafening sound fell on 
his ears in a symphony of breaking glass as every other mirror in the 
house exploded one after the other.  In a few seconds the house was 
once again silent.  Mulder sat back up and looked at Scully.  Her 
entire body was coated with the substance;  thick globs stuck to the 
skin of her face and neck.  Images of a nightmare that had hunted 
him came seeping into his mind along with an increasing sense of 
dread.  "Scully?" Mulder pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket, for 
once finding a use for the stupid thing, and started wiping the goop 
off of her mouth.  He leaned in to her face.  Short, warm little gusts 
of air fell against his lips.  She was breathing-- unconscious but 
breathing.  With a great sense of relief he placed a kiss just to the 
side of her mouth, oblivious to the gooey substance that now covered 
his own lips.  He pressed his cheek against hers.  "You're OK..." he 
whispered.  I'm here, it's OK."  He wasn't completely sure who 
exactly he was comforting.  He got her out of the house as quickly as 
possible, then dialed for the paramedics on his cell phone.

************************

Mulder sat at Scully's bedside holding her hand.  "How you feeling?"

"OK."  She had been cleaned and changed into a hospital gown, but 
she still couldn't shake the feeling of having that stuff all over her.  
"You?"  Her eyes moved to his bandaged wrists.

"It's nothing."

She looked at Mulder uneasily.  "What happened, Mulder?  That 
mirror..."

"I know Scully.  There *was* something in that house.  But now 
we'll never know."

"What are you taking about?"

"There was a fire.  The entire place burned right down to the 
ground."

"But how--"

"I left a lantern on in the kitchen, but somehow I don't think that was 
the cause.  There was quite a crowd gathering when the ambulance 
blew out of there.  I wonder if maybe the locals had had enough of 
that place.  At least--"

They both turned their heads towards the door as the doctor entered.  
He stopped at the foot of her bed.  "Agent Scully..."  he paused as he 
flipped through her chart.  "Let's see..."  He looked up at her, then 
uncomfortably at Mulder.  "And you are?"

"Agent Scully's partner."

The doctor gave a quick nod.  "Well if you'll excuse us I need to talk 
to your partner alone."

Mulder and Scully exchanged a look.  Scully brought her gaze back 
to the doctor, her face filled with concern.  "It's all right, he can stay.  
What is it, Doctor?"

"Well if your sure..."  he cleared his throat uncomfortably.  "We ran 
some routine tests when you were brought in..."

Scully nodded impatiently, she knew the procedures, she wanted the 
quid pro quo.

"...and ah," his eyes shifted back and forth between the two agents,  
"it looks like your pregnant."

They both stared blankly back at the doctor, and at first he had the 
impression they hadn't heard him.  Then he remembered seeing in her 
demographic information that she was not married, so chances were 
this wasn't *good* news.  But still, this was a most unusual reaction.  
"Well, if you have any questions, I'll be on the floor, or you can call 
for one of the nurses."  He turned and left the room.

Mulder and Scully looked at each other.  A few months ago they'd 
decided to experiment with other methods of birth control, and in 
fact had only recently decided that Scully was going to go back on 
the Pill;  it was just easier.  But somewhere in that experimenting, 
something had slipped through the cracks... literally.

Mulder offered the slightest smile, attempting to lighten the mood.  
"You know we really gotta do something about our birth control, 
Scully."

She gave her best effort at a smile back, then turned her head away as 
her eyes filled with tears.  How could this happen... again?  Was this 
fate's idea of a cruel joke?  Were they condemned to repeat the same 
patterns? To make the same mistakes?  

Mulder moved to sit next to her on the bed, leaning in close to her 
face.  "Hey."  

She turned back to look at him, her eyes brimming with unshed 
tears.  

"It's all right.  We'll be all right."

She continued to looked at him.  And she wanted to believe.


End Part 10 


*********************************************

Spell 11:  Demons

Mulder kissed her hand as she lay in the hospital bed.

"Well you know what this means, don't you?"

She raised her eyebrows at him.

"I'll be doing the cat box for the next few months..."

Then she had to smile, and she loved him for it.  He could always 
make her smile, and she was grateful to him for helping her feeling 
better.  Maybe, just maybe, they would be all right after all.  "That's 
right, toxoplasmosis:  a valid excuse."

"Come on, let me take you home.  We've got some steaks in the 
fridge, I'll broil them up, a couple of baked potatoes, some 
broccoli..."

She grimaced.  "Broccoli?"

"OK peas."

"Peas are good."

"Good.  We'll have a quiet dinner at home."

The thought of a home-cooked meal sounded great;  they spent so 
much time eating take-out.  She sighed heavily.

"What?"

"Thank God one of us can cook.  At least the baby won't grow up on 
House of Hunan."

He smiled at her; it was a good sign that she was even thinking that 
far ahead.  "I can teach you some things, Scully:  toast, spaghetti"

"I'm not *that* deficient, thank you."

"I seem to recall some hockey pucks you made for us last month--"

"Mulder you have to cook hamburgers well or you risk e.coli 
infection," she said through her grin.

"Well they did make nice paperweights..."

She scoffed in disbelief at his insult, but was unable to contain her 
smile.

"...hey, think you could make me a meat loaf?  I've been needing a 
door stop for the office."

She closed her eyes and shook her head at him, but her bright smile 
delighted him to no end.

Mulder grinned back at her as she opened her eyes to look at him.  
After a moment their faces turned serious.  Mulder took her hand in 
his.  "Come on, we'll go home, have some dinner, then... we need to 
talk."

******************************

Dinner was w