The Final Fantasy Hall of Shame 1. Benjamin Insert Pic Here In general, all the characters from this cheap, rip-offish, BS that was shoveled into a game pak and sold with the label of divinity, "Final Fantasy". Final Fantasy Mystic Quest was a piece of junk to say the least, and Ben-jammin represents it in an awful way. And that's why he is the number 1 zero of them all. Congrats, you turd! 2. Zemus/Zeromus YAWN! Cecil chased Golbez around the globe, under it, and beyond it, and it turns out that Golbez is actually being controlled by some Lunarian named Zemus. Boring! This reminds me of the end to I Know What You Did Last Summer, when you found out the killer was some guy we've never heard of and never seen before. Does SQUARE know how boring that is! It would be so much cooler if Golbez was controlled by FoSoYa, or even better, Cecil's father, KluYa! But no, you had to make up a character right on the spot to lengthen the game just a bit. I'm sorry, I get carried away sometimes... 3. Exdeath Exdeath. Oooooo! Ex meaning previous, death meaning death. Scared yet? His main goal in life is to suck everybody into nothingness. And to add onto his evil deeds, he kills a feeble old man. I'm sorry, but he just sucks, plain and simple. 4. Edward "Anna!!! Waaaa!!" And people ask me why I prefer Ed-gar. He's a bard, he has low HP, and his main ability is to run, hide, and let others fight for him. Lucky for us, he only sticks around for a little while, because after fifteen minutes I started getting really pissed at him. I mean, come on! You couldn't even kill him because he'd always run away! And he attacked with music!! What the hell is that?! 5. Cait Sith First, what I like about this guy. He's actually a Shinra Executive in disguise. Now on to the rest. First, a cat on top of a huge moogle sounded like a good idea, but he's only got two limit breaks. Even Vincent had more than that! Second, the strength of his attacks depends on the color of his mega-phone. Thirdly, he's a toy. Does anybody see something wrong with this? 6. Tellah (singing) Go, Tellah Round the mountains! (stop) Three words, "You... Spoony... Bard." Thank you. 7. Butz Butz, Butz, Butz. Who would have thought a guy named after the glutous maximous would become a Final Fantasy hero. Apparantly, nobody. Sorry Butt, try again next time. 8. Yuffie You know, at this point, I don't care anymore. You don't realize how painful it is to go through all these guys here, trying to figure out which one sucks more, the woodchuck, or the butt. You figure it out. 9. Ultros OK, I'm back. Ultros. Damn, this guy was annoying. You fight him not once, not twice, not three times, but FOUR?! Screw that! 10. Gau Gau... Gay... Gau... Gay. OK, raise your hand if you want a guy on your team who mimics the powers of the creatures that you just kicked the crap out of. I thought not. Dishonorable Mention - Terra - Relm - Umaro - Barret - Lenna - Kururu (Cara) - Banon - Heidegger - Any character from Final Fantasy Legend(s) - Astos (FF1) Back to Home
1. Benjamin
Insert Pic Here
In general, all the characters from this cheap, rip-offish, BS that was shoveled into a game pak and sold with the label of divinity, "Final Fantasy". Final Fantasy Mystic Quest was a piece of junk to say the least, and Ben-jammin represents it in an awful way. And that's why he is the number 1 zero of them all. Congrats, you turd!
2. Zemus/Zeromus
YAWN! Cecil chased Golbez around the globe, under it, and beyond it, and it turns out that Golbez is actually being controlled by some Lunarian named Zemus. Boring! This reminds me of the end to I Know What You Did Last Summer, when you found out the killer was some guy we've never heard of and never seen before. Does SQUARE know how boring that is! It would be so much cooler if Golbez was controlled by FoSoYa, or even better, Cecil's father, KluYa! But no, you had to make up a character right on the spot to lengthen the game just a bit. I'm sorry, I get carried away sometimes...
3. Exdeath
Exdeath. Oooooo! Ex meaning previous, death meaning death. Scared yet? His main goal in life is to suck everybody into nothingness. And to add onto his evil deeds, he kills a feeble old man. I'm sorry, but he just sucks, plain and simple.
4. Edward
"Anna!!! Waaaa!!" And people ask me why I prefer Ed-gar. He's a bard, he has low HP, and his main ability is to run, hide, and let others fight for him. Lucky for us, he only sticks around for a little while, because after fifteen minutes I started getting really pissed at him. I mean, come on! You couldn't even kill him because he'd always run away! And he attacked with music!! What the hell is that?!
5. Cait Sith
First, what I like about this guy. He's actually a Shinra Executive in disguise. Now on to the rest. First, a cat on top of a huge moogle sounded like a good idea, but he's only got two limit breaks. Even Vincent had more than that! Second, the strength of his attacks depends on the color of his mega-phone. Thirdly, he's a toy. Does anybody see something wrong with this?
6. Tellah
(singing) Go, Tellah Round the mountains! (stop) Three words, "You... Spoony... Bard." Thank you.
7. Butz
Butz, Butz, Butz. Who would have thought a guy named after the glutous maximous would become a Final Fantasy hero. Apparantly, nobody. Sorry Butt, try again next time.
8. Yuffie
You know, at this point, I don't care anymore. You don't realize how painful it is to go through all these guys here, trying to figure out which one sucks more, the woodchuck, or the butt. You figure it out.
9. Ultros
OK, I'm back. Ultros. Damn, this guy was annoying. You fight him not once, not twice, not three times, but FOUR?! Screw that!
10. Gau
Gau... Gay... Gau... Gay. OK, raise your hand if you want a guy on your team who mimics the powers of the creatures that you just kicked the crap out of. I thought not.
Dishonorable Mention
- Terra - Relm - Umaro - Barret - Lenna - Kururu (Cara) - Banon - Heidegger - Any character from Final Fantasy Legend(s) - Astos (FF1)
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