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LINE OF FIRE {Joe Walker holds Robbie Stevens down in a shoulder claw; Robbie breaks free with a poke to the face, and gets up as Joe recoils, rubbing his eyes.} [Escobar]: Robbie again resorts to a flagrant violation of all the rules of sportsmanship to save his skin ... {Joe manages to shake off the daze before Robbie is fully up, and grabs him around the back, lifting him up for a powerbomb that lands headfirst instead.} [Escobar]: ... but Joe seems more hot than hurt -- and he drops Robbie with a Poppabomb! [Swayze]: Oh, and stealing moves IS sportsmanship? {Joe drags Robbie back up, and whips him to the ropes, catching him with another tilt-a-whirl atomic drop. He does a goofy mime of Robbie's characteristic karate pose, then pulls Robbie up and sacks him with a heart punch.} [Escobar]: Joe Walker showing off a little of his own martial arts experience ... and he connects with a solid heart punch! This could be for all the marbles -- ONE! TWO! THREE!!! HE DID IT! WE HAVE A NEW TELEVISION CHAMPION!!! {The scene cuts to the locker rooms, where Joe Walker (Television title slung over one shoulder) and a group of friends are obviously celebrating -- laughing, slapping hands, and passing cans of Coors from an ice chest. Visible besides Joe are Steve the Insane, Ed Carr, Jack Robertson, Paul Stone, Jerry Straite, and (somewhat in back) a very worn-looking Kerry Masters.} [Joe Walker] {turning to face the camera} Gettin' some footage for next week, huh? Well, good, that means I have a chance to thank Robbie for this here title {hefts belt} ... it NEEDS to be recorded, because I knocked him INTO NEXT WEEK! {He chuckles, and leans back over his shoulder.} Paul! PAUL! C'mon over here! {Paul works his way around the other celebrants, and Joe gives him a one-arm hug to pull him into the camera view.} [Joe Walker] While I'm thanking people, I oughtta finally get around to this man ... Paul here was the man who talked me back into the ring when I was ready to toss it all away ... and who reminded me how good it feels to walk the straight and narrow -- or, in my case, a reasonable imitation of straight and narrow ... [Paul Stone] What, like I was going to let prime joke material like you walk away? That could mean my job! {The two share a laugh.} [Joe Walker] Well, as long as I've got the time, I'll get this on the table, too ... as good as it feels to carry gold, even just the TV title, I think we all know that this particular belt is just a LITTLE tarnished. I mean, just look {takes the belt off and "examines" it} -- it's got *Robbie* all over it {he "polishes" it with a wrist} ... a rich history of ducked contenders, cheap tactics, and running scared. I said before that I think Joe Walker can take on any champion in the AWI and give them the toughest twenty minutes of their lives ... and I intend to make THIS title the equal of any of those others, to make it MEAN something again. Joe Walker ducks NO MAN, and the day you see me running scared is the day I throw in the towel! {He holds the belt aloft over his head with one hand.} This is an open notice to ANYONE in the AWI -- you want this, all you have to do is show up and BRING IT ON! {A general-purpose whoop erupts from the celebrants, as Joe turns back to his buddies.} ================================================================= {The view fades into a CGI image of a gun barrel interior (a la Bond movies), the POV rapidly backing out along it's length to bring the gun itself into view. As Golden Earring's "Twilight Zone" cues up. The gun turns to the left in profile.} [Music] It's 2am (it's 2 am)/Fear is gone (fear is gone) I'm somewhere where/The Gun's still warm Thinking my connection/Is tired of taking chances {The chamber of the animated revolver opens, as a sequence of video images of wrestling action move up the right side of the screen, encased in a "film loop". Every other image is "sucked" into one of the revolver chambers as it passes the center.} Yeah, there's a storm on the loose/Sun reigns on my head Wrapped up inside themselves/Circuits are dead Cannot decode/My whole life spins into a frenzy Now I'm steppin' into the Twilight Zone This is a madhouse/Feels like being home My feet they can't move/Under moon and star Where am I to go Now that I've gone too far {The chamber of the gun closes and spins, as the gun rotates around the long way to eventually face the viewer.} You will come to know/when the bullet hits the bone ... You will come to know ... when the bullet hits the bone ... {A loud drumbeat corresponds with the firing of the gun; as the bullet rapidly "strikes" the screen, it causes a bright flash and the logo: ================================================================= _ __________=___ A W I ___=__________ _ \\@([____]_____() | | |\ | [~ ()_____[____])@// _/\|-[____] |_ | | \| [_ [____]-|/\_ / /(( ) OF ( ))/ \ /____|'----' [~ | |} [~ '----'|____\ \____/ [ | |\ [_ \____/ ================================================================= : Market Square Arena, Indianapolis, IN >>BIRD'S-EYE CAM<< {Our view pans over a madly cheering crowd, alerted to their presence on television by the sounds of cannon fire. As the camera drops to its usual slide by the front rows, we see fans dressed in "Looking 4 A Fight" and "I [Texas silhouette] Colt Kawaii" t-shirts, and signs waved about, ranging from the prosaically loyal ("Justice Will Be Served!"), to the sardonic ("Jerry's Not In Fashion"), to the non-sequitur ("Hi Maggie"). Finally, we reach the pressbox area, where three men are seated -- a clean-cut Hispanic gentleman in a well-pressed suit; a wild-haired, wild-eyed man also wearing a Looking 4 A Fight t-shirt; and an athletic blond man wearing a loose yellow silk shirt, a blue denim jacket with short, ragged sleeves, circular sunglasses, and a terry-cloth headband with "Press" written on it in marker.} : Justin Escobar Mike Marone Chad Swayze [Escobar] OLA, aficianados! Welcome to another action-packed edition of Allied Wrestling International LINE OF FIRE ... and this crowd here in Pacertown is just champing at the bit to see their favorite AWI superstars in the ring tonight! [Swayze] They're only champing at the bit because the Pacers aren't here, Justino ... these hoopheads probably think War Machine and Kerry are gonna shoot some H-O-R-S-E or something! [Marone] WHAT?! No way, man -- that's cruelty to animals! Kerry and Greg are stand-up guys, no way they'd be so mean! Where do you get ideas like that, jeez ... [Swayze] Speaking of cruelty to animals, been hit with a 2x4 lately? [Marone] Hey, how'd you-- [Escobar] Gentlemen, we have WRESTLING to talk about? An EXCITING card, at that! [Swayze] What we HAVE, Escobo, is a MAJOR-- no, GLOBAL -- TRAVESTY OF JUSTICE! A conspiracy of epic proportions! The most heinous act in AWI history -- and you saw the conspirators just now! ROBBIE STEVENS'S TV TITLE WAS _STOLEN_! [Escobar] Oh, for-- you can't be serious. Joe Walker won that title fair and square, and the only thing epic was the match he wrestled to win it -- the SECOND match that night for him, I might add! [Swayze] EXACTLY! You expect these great fans to believe that some beer-swilling punch-drunken Karate-Kid reject could beat the Most Feared Foot In Wrestling, the New Jersey Ninja, after taking the kind of beating from Dominic Nightshade that put most men out of the sport? We're through the looking glass, people! Black is white, white is black -- and somehow, some way, ROBBIE STEVENS IS STILL YOUR TV CHAMPION! [Escobar] In your whole crew, there isn't enough shame to fill a cologne bottle, is there? [Marone] Does that mean I'm really wearing a /white/ t-shirt? Yigh, talk about your fashion no-no's ... [Escobar] And speaking of fashion, the self-proclaimed Fashion Plate of the AWI, Toshiaki Hasegawa, will give Team Stevens a chance to regain championship gold, as he faces the North American champion, Jerry Straite, in our main event! [Swayze] And he'll try to beat him quick, so the fans'll be spared the tragedy of Jerry's in-ring coronary. [Escobar] Even /you/ have to know it's going to be tougher than that! [Swayze] Yeah -- first Jerry and Kerry would have to quit talking long enough for Joey to get a blow in edgewise ... but don't worry, the Asian Annihilator will find a way. [Marone] {nodding sagely} Probably involving Tank. [Escobar] In any case ... on another subject completely, I have a memo here from the stadium manager, regarding some peculiar notices found posted in the locker areas. It would seem that some person, or persons, has sponsored a $10,000 bounty to be awarded to the man who can cripple Steve the Insane. [Swayze] YES! Jackpot, bay-bee! Looks like Tank's gonna be BUSY tonight! [Escobar] Shades of the Jade Tiger, who I now believe is active in our sister federation, the FWA ... perhaps he has chosen to continue his vendetta long-distance? [Swayze] Who CARES, man? The POINT is that Steve is gonna be bent, folded, spindled, and -- most importantly -- MUTILATED ... and it's probably going to all happen TONIGHT! [Marone] Would this have something to do with him and Joe thumping you the other night? [Escobar] I'm going to need time to regroup ... let's go to Chad Duncan, who's with a man who could teach Team Stevens a thing or two about class ... [Swayze] HEY! What's that supposed to mean? >>SNIPER'S NEST<< [Chad Duncan] We have with us at this time Karl Von Eichmann, scheduled to meet Blunt Dakota of the Chaos Brothers later tonight. But I'm sure that right now, something else is on the minds of both Karl and everyone here tonight ... to cut to the chase: Karl, what can you tell us about the incident on last week's show between you and Dave Hatfield? [Swayze]: I have lotsa class! I just took an art class last week! [Escobar]: Skip it. [Karl Von Eichmann] First of all, Chad, I would like to apologize to Dave Hatfield, the AWI, and the fans for my actions last week. Hatfield, you are a hatemonger with a very, very big mouth -- but that is NO EXCUSE for me reacting the way I did. I pride myself on being a professional, and I apologize for behaving so unprofessionally. It will not happen again. If you have a problem with me, Hatfield, I suggest we work it out in the ring. I would be glad for the opportunity to shut you up -- in the proper setting. {The fans cheer loudly for Eichmann's diplomatic words} [Escobar]: Interesting ... it's not often you see such a display of modesty and sportsmanship like this ... [Swayze]: The word you are looking for is "humility", Justin -- as in, the humiliations galore that Dave Hatfield is going to rain down on this fifth column punk if and when he finally decides to stop being merciful by letting him fight other people. [Duncan] Well said, Karl ... then, returning to the here and now: any thoughts to give us on your match tonight? [Von Eichmann] I'm looking forward to a very competitive match. I know Blunt is used to working with his partner, but I'm not going to underestimate him just because he is by himself. I am sure this will be a learning experience for both of us, but if I can maintain my focus, I am confident I will get the victory. Good luck to you, Blunt, and thank you, Chad. [Duncan] Thank YOU, Karl ... [Swayze]: {sarcastically whiny} Thank you, Karl ... {normal tone} man, what a kiss-up. That man is SO lucky I allow him to use my first name. [Escobar]: I'd think his parents would have had a little say in that process ... in any case, our first match tonight will feature a newcomer to the Allied Wrestling family ... let's get these comments from him, and his friends ... ================================================================= {Our scene is a gym; in the background two men can be seen doing drills in a wrestling ring. The third man in the ring apparently instructing them is recognizable as "The Wrestling Expert" Ed Carr. Off to another side someone is doing laps. Carr blows a whistle, telling the men in the ring to take a breather, then walks over to the camera.} [Ed Carr] Now, while I've got a few things to address here, first off -- hey Robbie, nice match last week {chuckles}. Walker, any man that causes Stevens suffering is a friend of mine -- congrats. OK, since that's out of the way, there seems to be some confusion in the AWI lately. While I appreciate everyone's concern, as you all can see, the Ed Carr Wrestling Academy seems to be doing just fine. I admit, I'm not overly proud of everyone I've ever trained. I can think of a couple examples that are in the AWI. Right now though ... right now I've got a good crew. {Speaking of the devil ... at this point, "Dragonfire" Kien Lun approaches from the background, wearing green sweatpants, w/an "E.C.W.A." towel slung around his neck; he's obviously been exercising hard recently.} [Kien Lun] There are times when I feel sorry for the fans of AWI, because I see unfairness in its nature: there are people in this league who lack the discipline and will to work for their trade -- and they can spend the time not used improving themselves to gloat about that which no man should be proud of, or criticize the same crowds who they are meant to perform for. Robbie Stevens is such a man. His thugs, Hasegawa and Bonham, are such men. And my next opponent is also such a man. Stefan Schriber, you want to be a patriot, spending so much time talking about your nation. But a man who must speak of his nation only by insulting another, he is no patriot -- he is an insecure man. You speak so long and so loud because you are trying to convince yourself all you say is TRUE. {Jack Robertson aproaches from stage left, finishing off a sprint and slowing to a stop behind Kien and Ed, he rests for a moment then approaches.} {Kien Lun] I do not think less of France for what you say, Stefan Schriber -- I will not judge a nation by one citizen. And to you, I say you should not judge a citizen by his nation; for if you cannot look at Kien Lun and see more than his country, you will not be a worthy challenge when we meet. [Jack Robertson] Yeah, and it'd help if he learned the language he was trying to conduct an interview in ... but I'm not wrestling Stefan, am I? No, I got the good ol' Reverend, Jerimiah James. Y'know JJ, you got a rep for being a pretty tough guy, and I gotta hand it to ya, you've been doing good. But this whole preacher thing ... come on man, this whole mission from God thing. Yeah, it was funny the first time I heard it, but its getting kinda lame now, you know. Same tired boring lines that were amusing the first time, but when its been going on this long. Ok, you and me, looking forward to the match, but leave the garbage at the door, ok? [Ed] Jack and Kien have proven themselves already, but they've still got that hunger, which is why they're gonna go far. Speaking of hunger -- hey Scott, you wanted to talk, here's your chance. {One of the former sparring partners, presumably 'Scott', wanders over to the camera, sipping from a sport bottle.} [Scott] Probably none of you people know me yet, so I'm here to introduce myself -- I'm Scott Deda, but you can call me Tsunami. I've been sitting home these last couple of years, watching this putz named Robbie Stevens go on and on about how he's got the most feared foot in wrestling and is the future of wrestling. Now that's a scary thought. The way I see it is, that you are a disgrace, Robbie, a disgrace to Ed's school, the martial arts, your kindergarten teacher, your parents, the mail lady and the entire wrestling sport. Then we have Cory, the stooge. See, it isn't nice to wear masks, sit in the crowd, and jump people with chairs, Cory. See, according to Santa that puts you on the bad list, and that means you're gonna get coal this year, you've been a very bad boy. As for me, I'm gonna get lots of presents. Nice little gifts wrapped in bows and ribbons. And at the Danse, Team Carr is gonna get the best present of all: the Devil's Deal. Ain't that right? [Ed] One match at a time, kid, one match at a time. Things are heatin' up around here lately ... we've got 2 matches this week, a match next week, then the Danse Macabre. The Devil's Deal ... Stevens, I hope you've been saying your prayers, 'cause a match with a stipulation like that just seems made for someone like me to win {chuckles}. OK, boys, let's get back to work. ================================================================= [Swayze] Confident schlub Ed's got there, huh? [Escobar] Tsunami Deda certainly does seem to have a great deal of pride in-- [Swayze] Man, I hate confident schlubs. Memo to my main man: cripple this guy fast. I recommend gift-wrapping the Camden Cannons for his Christmas present ... >>RING<< [Rod Allen] Ladies and gentlemen ... our first contest is a bout set for one fall ... already in the ring, weighing in at 243 pounds, from the city of Jefferson City, Missouri ... DIGGER DOUGLAS! {Digger, already in the ring, climbs the turnbuckle and backflips off ... despite not planting the landing, and stumbling several steps, he seems exasperated when it generates only mild boos.} And his opponent tonight ... weighing 234 pounds, from Miami, Florida, by way of the Ed Carr Wrestling Academy ... {"Flagpole Sitta" by Harvey Danger plays over the speakers to uncertain but enthusiastic cheers for the rookie just seen, as he heads to the ring, staring intently at his opponent.} "TSUNAMI" ... SCOTT ... DEDA!!! [Swayze]: Where does Ed find these jokers, and when is he gonna stop hiding behind them? I give this runt 30 seconds against a quality grappler like Digger. [Marone]: You're saying there are guys like Digger, only good? {The bell rings as Scott gets in the ring, but Digger doesn't wait for him, nailing him with a kneelift directly ... he follows it up with a bodyslam, and a few stomps ...} [Swayze]: Oh, brother -- did I say 30? I meant 10, not counting the ref's slow count ... [Escobar]: I hardly think a few cheap shots constitutes a serious offensive, Chad -- [Marone]: It always used to offend /me/. {Digger steps away, and does the typical "somersault" gesture, which surprises Digger as to the cheers it gets -- largely because Scott's back on his feet, and looking torqued off as all get out. Digger turns around just in time to have Scott grab his hair and pull him into a brutal series of snap kicks to the head.} [Escobar]: Digger actually calling for a finish here -- but Tsunami's back on his feet -- AND HE'S TAKING DIGGER TO TOWN! [Marone]: Yeah. The town of Shoesville, population Digger's face, first stop Ouch Street. Ed's got a live one here. {Scott pauses in his offensive to let Digger wobble around, before flooring him with a textbook judo takedown ... he slaps on a Fujiwara armbar, but Digger somehow manages to get to the ropes.} [Escobar]: Deda showing some significant martial arts skills here-- [Swayze]: Oh, he's not so tough! [Escobar]: He certainly seems to-- [Swayze]: Look, you think HE knows the Touch of Death? Huh? [Escobar]: You know, I can't really answer that. {Deda stuns Douglas with a thrust kick, then whips him into the ropes, putting him down with a well-placed dropkick ... he drops to the ground, and and locks up Digger in a rolling leg sleeper ... once again, Digger panics but manages to hook his foot on the ropes.} [Escobar]: Perhaps a bit premature this match, but Scott Deda is definitely showing some killer instinct tonight. [Swayze]: Yeah, but I see what Ed could add to his curriculum to improve it. [Escobar]: I'll admit, I'm curious--perhaps a greater emphasis on power moves? [Marone]: Maybe some of those cally-statics, whatever -- the fitness stuff? [Swayze]: No -- Sesame Street! {speaking in a slow and patronizing manner} "NEAR the ropes ... FAR from the ropes ..." {Douglas catches Scott with a punch to the jaw as they stand, and bounces off the ropes to clothesline him ... he then signals for a somersault again, and this time gets up to the top.} [Escobar]: Scott losing a bit of his focus there -- and Digger ABSOLUTELY DRILLS him ... this could change the tide of the match, and Douglas certainly thinks so. [Marone]: Douglas could stand to learn a thing or two from his opponent ... the one thing we haven't seen from Tsunami is this "let's take a break from hurting him" business. [Escobar]: It could backfire severely, too -- Scott's up again! {Douglas comes off the top with an adequate somersault, but Deda merely catches him as he straightens out, and plants him with a belly-to-belly, then locks on a crooked head scissors.} [Escobar]: BACKFIRE IT DOES! Great counter by Tsunami -- and he's got the crooked head-scissors latched on squarely now, and Digger's not getting to any ropes this time! [Marone]: Whoa, my head hurts just watching that. [Swayze]: My /stomach/ hurts. I need Maalox ... [Escobar]: Give it a rest -- and that's going to be it! Digger's saying he's had it, and the ref is calling for the bell ... [Rod Allen] Your winner, in a time of 2:42 ... "TSSSUUUUUUNAMI"!!! SCOTT DEDA! [Escobar]: Shades of Ed Carr's onetime partner Wanto Parker, as Deda finishes his opponent off with the crooked head scissors, in impressive fashion! Not that /you're/ worried, right, Chad? [Swayze]: Me? What? Of COURSE I'm not worried! Ed can get all the punks he wants, but Team Stevens is going to stay on top! [Escobar]: We'll see ... but not before THESE announcements from our sponsors! ================================================================= WHEN LINE OF FIRE RETURNS: "Dragonfire" lights up Schriber! COMMERCIAL BREAK: If you need something you just can't reach, drink a Sprite and call 1-800-TALL-MEN ... When you need a snack, whaddya gonna fix? Hot Pockets! ... Brita Water Filters, because you really /don't/ want to know what's in the water these days. ================================================================= {The camera opens on some folks playing basketball ... a tall, slender man with wavy shoulder-length red hair fires off a shot from the 3-point line and banks it in, apparently winning the game. After bowing to his opponents, he walks over to the camera and smiles. [Man] Hey. "Wild Thing" Kanaida Sharpe here ... the AWI is about to get a wake-up call. I've been wrestling since I was 14. And maybe I wasn't the champion mat wrestler that the other guys were, not that I couldn't roll around, but I always had the power to win. Physical and mental. {The camera bisects the screen with a shot of him training hard with some sparring partners; he's bleeding from a cut} [Sharpe] People ask me why I do it. Is it the money? The fame? The belts? {grins} Yeah, maybe a little. I do dream of the belt. Every night. But I gotta tell you what it's all about. The roar of the crowd as I enter, the knowledge that they're here to see me win, to see the Wild Ride, and I strive to give it to them. To hear them tell me they wanna see it. Now that's what it's really about. Them. {The training sequence is replaced with shots of cheering AWI fans.} [Sharpe] My friends, they call me arrogant, some even say cocky. Maybe so. I don't mind. A little confidence helps a little, and a lot of it helps a lot. Though I will say I ain't the best. No, you gotta wear the belt to be that. You can't be the best 'til you beat the best. I plan to be the best. For myself, my family, and for you, the fans. See you in the AWI -- I got another game of hoops to win. {He heads back to the court, where he's thrown a ball, and buckets a swish.} ================================================================= >>PRESSBOX<< [Swayze] You know, sometimes I think I've failed to notice the negative impact Team Stevens has on the world. [Escobar] You don't say -- this is a breakthrough, I think. [Swayze] I mean, if all those women weren't following Roadhouse, the Fashion Plate, Way Cool Jr., and of course the Main Man, there'd be more to go around, and guys like that bozo wouldn't have to think of a piece of leather to keep them warm at night. And what's with the BASKETBALL again? THERE ARE NO THREE POINTERS IN THE RING, YOU JOKES! [Escobar] I stand brutally, and distastefully, corrected. But any-- [Marone] Hey, what's that? {The announcers are interrupted as Jerry Straite suddenly comes storming out of the back, looking a *little* bit upset (not that unusual) and without music (really, really unusual). He steps quickly into the ring, and calls for the mic ... then calls for it again, using bad words, when he apparently doesn't get it soon enough.} [Swayze]: Oh, great -- another example of Canada's woefully inadequate approach to socialized medicine. [Escobar]: What ARE you talking about? [Swayze]: Just look how they deal with patients -- another tragic victim of Oldtimer's Disease, just wandering the streets without anyone watching over them-- [Escobar]: That's-- no, I'm NOT getting into this subject ... [Jerry Straite] Sorry for interrupting the show, everyone {he doesn't really look sorry} but there's something still eatin' me from last week. Now, I'm sure you all saw me and Kerry say we're gonna take on Agony & Ecstasy at Danse ... and I'm sure you also saw them and the rest of Stevens' brood respond to that rather dramatically. Now that bothers me a little. [Swayze]: You know what bothers me? The fact that we don't have half an hour extra to SPARE in tonight's schedule. CBS isn't ready to become Jerryvision, and I don't blame 'em ... what are you doing, Mike? [Marone]: {barely audible beeps are heard} I'm going to time him with my watch -- I want to see how much of Robbyvision he's preventing. [Straite] I mean, I understand the attack. It's part of the game ... I've done it a few times myself. You try to cripple someone before the match; it's understandable. But what BOTHERS ME ... is that somehow you boys came to the conclusion that I ... don't ... MATTER!!! You toss me out of the ring, you cuff me to the railing, and then you forgot about me!! Oh, sure Tori took some cheap shots, but you know that's just 'cause she'll hit anything that moves! No, you all seem to think this is all about Kerry. Now, I understand that Masters can be a bit aggravating ... that he can get under your skin. But when you focus on Masters, I gotta feel a little bit insulted. And you know what, boys? I DON'T RESPOND WELL TO BEING INSULTED!!! YOU THINK I DON'T MATTER?!? WELL, SCREW YOU!!! So here's what's gonna happen tonight. Hasegawa, you'll strut your fashionable ass down to ringside -- you'll be happy, because you're getting a North American Title shot, and all you've gotta do is take it from a old, useless, hobbling wrestler from Canada, who is FULLY INTENT ON RIPPIN' OUT YOUR LUNGS!!! {He allows for a dramatic pause, then tosses the mic to one side and rolls out of the ring. There's a *long* moment of dead air from the announcer's table, as the more aggressive members of the crowd cheer after Jerry. Finally ...} [Swayze]: Oh ... oh ... oh, yeah?!? Well, you just DO that ... because Smilin' Joey's got the TOUGHEST LUNGS IN THE BUSINESS, BAY-BEE!!! [Marone]: You kinda choked on that one, didn't you? [Swayze]: {self-conscious} Well, I didn't exactly see this coming, and-- {louder} hey, what do you know, hairball? {pause} So just how long DID he babble? [Marone]: I dunno -- I think I just set this to military time instead. [Escobar]: {chuckling slightly} Well, then ... some *very* strong words from our North American champion regarding his match tonight. However, we've got *another* match to see right now ... >>RINGSIDE<< [Rod Allen] Our next contest tonight is a bout set for one fall, with a time limit of ten minutes ... introducing first, from the city of Paris, France ... weighing in at two-hundred twenty-one pounds ... STEFAN Schriber! {"We Tryin' To Stay Alive" by Wyclef Jean plays on the PA, as Stefan marches down to ringside with a determined look on his face, carrying his athletic duffel. As he reaches the ring, he gestures to Rod to take the microphone.} [Stefan Schriber] {very disturbed and serious, almost morbid} Lahdees and jeenteelmen, Aye have had mye ahtenshon brought to a seeshuashon that meens that the supereor French weel have to praytend to tohlarate your ezestance. We all fase a threat more seereous than any of yeu STEUPID Americahns have aver faced, more seereous than your wahves cheeteng on yeu, more seereous than a tohnahdo hetteng your trahlayr park, more seereous than the lahck of stras at MahcDonaylds! [Swayze]: RIGHT ON! I, uh, think ... [Marone]: You know, maybe he should just try speaking FRENCH on TV, and we might actually understand what he's saying. [Escobar]: I rather thought he /was/ speaking French. [Stefan] I am speekeng of the reyformahsheon of the axees powehrs raht here in the Aye Dohbaleyeu Aye. Your pahtreot, and a man aylmost wurthee of some kortesee as he is much more enteylezhent than yeu STEUPID Americahns, Dav Hatfeeld ponted eet out last week with that nahzee teyorest Kal Von Ichman! [Escobar]: {groan} Why am I not surprised? Only Stefan Schriber would be so absolutely-- [Marone]: Careful, Justin, there are kids watching. I think. [Escobar]: {snort of disgust} ... to actually *endorse* Dave Hatfield's rantings? [Stefan] But there ees more! Tohnaht Aye am faceeng the seycond membayr of this totahitayan gruup, the Zhahpahnis fahshest ehstremest Kin Loon! [Escobar]: WHAT?!? For God's sake, Kien Lun is from HONG KONG ... that's in CHINA! [Marone]: Well, yeah, on an American map. You have to use French maps. [Swayze]: The scary thing is, Mike-o, that actually approached logic. [Stefan] So, Aye comahnd, yeu STEUPID Americahns, put your stoopedete ahside, we weel praytend to apreeseate yeu and yeu can bask en our glohree as towgehteer, ahltho eet weel mahnlee be us doeen the eempohrtant theengs, yeu STEUPID Americahns weel zhust be cahnehn fohdehr, the Ahlyes can wonce agayn overcom this tehrebel powehr. Then, yeu can go back to your pahthetec lahves while we, the French, conteeneu to be supeereeor! The supeereeor French has spohken! [Escobar]: {sighing} More importantly, it seems he is DONE speaking ... {He throws the microphone back at Rod, who barely manages to catch it without dropping it; after an uncomfortable moment, Rod steps back into the center of the ring.} [Rod Allen] And his opponent tonight ... from {looks at Stefan, irritated a little} the city of KOWLOON, CHINA ... weighing in at two-hundred pounds, even ... "DRAGONFIRE" ... KIEN LUN! {"A Taste of Things To Come" (from the _Mortal Kombat_ soundtrack) begins playing, as Kien Lun jogs down to ringside. He does a forward cartwheel flip at the end of the aisle, jumping into an aerial somersault and twisting around at the end of the aisle to land facing away from the ring; he reaches up, grabs the top rope, and performs a reverse pullup to enter the ring, which draws a nice reaction from the crowd.} [Marone]: That's the sort of thing that only gets a 4 from the Russian judges, you know? I never understood that. [Swayze]: Or words which start with consonants. Or vowels. {As Kien is circling around in acknowledgement of his cheers, Stefan rushes behind him and kicks him in the back. Schriber then scoops him up and bodyslams him.} [Swayze]: Yeah, ol' Ed is teaching these boys REAL skills ... why, they're perfect at getting jumped, bushwhacked, and totally beaten down ... just like Ed! {laughs} [Marone]: I don't see what's so funny, man ... my dad was once beat up by a short French guy! [Escobar]: You're kidding. [Marone]: Well, French Canadian. And it wasn't really a guy, now that I think about it ... more like a cat. Yeah, now I remember -- he was mauled by a lynx. So don't make fun of French people sneak-attacking people, understand? [Escobar]: I can honestly say I don't, but I'll keep it in mind. {Kien gets back to his feet, and Stefan grabs him, throwing him to the ropes; as Lun bounces off, Schriber bends down and back drops him. A moment later, Schriber rushes to the ropes himself, bouncing off to nail Kien with a kneedrop. Getting up, he begins smugly posturing for the crowds, who reply with a shower of unappreciative noise.} [Escobar]: Schriber in control early here, and he asserts his dominance with a high-elevation back drop -- [Marone]: Whoa, whoa, whoa -- the guy's maybe five-half at full tide -- that is NOT high elevation! [Swayze]: Oh yeah? Neither's the hole he just bombed the Chinaman into ... I think we can start singing the Marsellaise any time now. [Marone]: No way, man -- that was OLD! You even START with those hand-thingies and I'll pound you! {Kien gets back to his feet, and Schriber confidently turns around, arms outstretched for an exaggerated grab -- only to get hit with a clawhold to the face. Kien presses the hold, bending Stefan back slightly; Stefan finally pushes the arm away, and Kien knocks him over with a standing dropkick.} [Escobar]: Stefan ready to continue his assault now -- but KIEN'S READY FOR HIM! Schriber in obvious pain -- he's out now -- BUT NOW HE'S DOWN! Kien's back in this one! [Swayze]: A lucky break, trust me. You can't hold down France's fighting spirit for long! [Marone]: Unless you have tanks, or guns, or a big guy named Hans, maybe. {Stefan scrambles to his feet, and Kien whips him into the ropes, bouncing off the opposite ropes himself; they meet in the middle, and Kien leaps into a forward flip, grabbing Stefan's head at the height of his arc, and throwing him over his shoulder as he lands. Stefan rolls under the ring ropes, to stand outside with a furious expression.} [Escobar]: Kien with a SPECTACULAR move! And Schriber's had enough -- he rolls away to regroup! [Marone]: And find a white flag to wave. {Kien Lun slides out of the ring, and heads after Stefan; Stefan rolls back into the ring, and kicks Kien as the Asian follows him in. Stefan throws a kidney punch, then grabs Kien in a headlock. He turns away from the referee, while obviously switching to a choking variation.} [Swayze]: HA! You mocked him, but Schriber was simply using his superior French intellect to regain the advantage! [Escobar]: And now he's /pressing/ that advantage -- in a HIGHLY illegal manner! [Swayze]: If it was illegal, the ref would've DQ'd him. [Escobar]: The ref can't see it! [Swayze]: Oh, so he's INVISIBLY cheating? Say, who's your rabbit friend, Justino? [Escobar]: Just forget it. {Kien manages to push his way back to a straight stand, then does a backflip to escape from the hold; Stefan applauds him with a punch below the belt, then bodyslams him while he's stunned. Stefan then begins stomping on Lun haphazardly.} [Escobar]: Lun with some impressive acrobatics -- but Stefan's questionable tactics continue to keep the young Asian at bay ... [Swayze]: Remember that, kids -- don't try, just cheat! [Marone]: Do the courts allow you to play role-model? [Swayze]: Let's not drag the law into this. {Stefan drags Kien back to his feet, and whips him into the corner; as Kien reaches the corner, he bends his head down and leaps sideways, spinning laterally on the turnbuckle once before dropping down to land on his feet. As Stefan closes in, Kien Lun jumps into a forward somersault that ends in a dropkick.} [Escobar]: And Dragonfire saves himself with another high- risk move ... and an acrobatic drop kick catches Stefan off-guard! {Kien Lun performs a kipup, and closes in on Stefan, only back to his knees; Stefan backpedals, begging off Kien, but Kien isn't buying it, and he hits Stefan with a roundhouse kick that turns him around a little, before dropping to one knee and grabbing him around the back of the neck with one hand.} [Swayze]: Don't do it, Stefan -- oh, man, I guess begging for foreign aid is just in the French blood ... [Escobar]: In any case, Lun doesn't seem very charitable tonight ... and he hooks on an unorthodox submission lock. {Stefan manages to pull away from the hold; Kien stands back up, and kicks him in the backside, knocking him facefirst to the mat.} [Escobar]: Schriber out -- and OUT COLD! What a kick from Kien! [Swayze]: It was illegal! [Escobar]: WHAT? [Swayze]: Look, you don't hang around the New Jersey Ninja like I do and not pick up a few things -- that was an ILLEGAL Hong Kong Nerve Kick! [Marone]: WOW! [Escobar]: Don't encourage him, Mike. {Kien approaches Stefan and delivers an elbow drop with a sharp spin; pulling Stefan back up to his knees, he reapplies the neck hold.} [Swayze]: Now he's completing the kata which will leave poor Stefan completely paralyzed ... oh, the humanity -- Brandie has to get in there and stop this monster! [Escobar]: Will you cut it out? That's a perfectly legal carotid pressure hold. {Stefan breaks free, and Kien moves around to grab him with a front facelock; Stefan punches his way free of that, then bounces off the nearest ropes to hit Kien with a bodypress from behind. [Swayze]: Man, that Stefan is one generous guy, isn't he? [Escobar]: What *are* you talking about? [Swayze]: He's trying to help Ken Loon there be a better flyer ... you know, getting rid of all those unaerodynamic stuff, like noses ... {Stefan picks up Kien from the floor, and hiptosses him. He quickly drags him back up again, and throws him into the ropes. He bends down for a backdrop, but Kien does a somersault roll across his back, continuing to the other side of the ring.} [Marone]: MANOHMAN! How did he do that? {As Stefan turns around to face him on the rebound, Kien jumps up and snags him into a hurricarana. He then rolls to his knees and puts on a claw to keep Stefan on the mat.} [Escobar]: Truly impressive evasion by Lun -- and he follows it up with a 'rana! Stefan has no clue where is he -- and that claw isn't going to help! [Marone]: Well, it'll help him focus in one direction, bein' as he can't move his head 'n' all. {Kien pulls Stefan up into a sitting position, and wraps his other arm into a half nelson to apply more pressure to the claw.} [Swayze]: I'm TELLING you, with a hold like that, even now Dragonfire is trying to send tiny electrical signals of death into Stefan's brain ... that proud Frenchman is fighting off centuries of martial-arts knowledge -- EVIL knowledge, that has no place in a wrestling ring! [Marone]: And here I thought it just hurt a lot. {Stefan twists free of the hold, and staggers away from Kien, getting back to his feet; as Kien stands up and follows him, Stefan turns around, takes a step back, then lunges forward to hit Kien with a "fencing" punch.} [Escobar]: Schriber finally manages to work his way free -- and puts his first sport to good use, catching Kien off guard. [Swayze]: That's how you use combat sports for good ... not the dark side of assassination like that freakshow Lun! [Escobar]: Are you even watching the same match as we are? {Stefan runs past Kien, bouncing off the ropes; Kien meets him on the return with a soccer-style bicycle kick. Kien runs into the ropes himself, as Stefan stands back up, and hits Schriber with a running thrust kick.} [Escobar]: Stefan into the ropes -- ASTOUNDING counter by Lun to regain the advantage! And now he's into the ropes himself, and a big kick! [Marone]: I just don't know how he does it ... whenever I went in circles like that, I'd get dizzier than anything. [Swayze]: It doesn't count if somebody else is putting you /through/ the circles. [Marone]: Oh, I guess that makes sense. {Kien picks Stefan back up, and Schriber thanks him with a kick between the legs. He grabs Kien by the back of the head, and makes a running start for the ropes, intent on throwing Kien out, but Kien throws a leg forward and takes Schriber down with a legwheel throw.} [Escobar]: Stefan once more with dirty tactics ... and we're about to head outs--NO, Kien blocks Stefan and keeps things in the ring. [Swayze]: What a chicken ... if Lun didn't have to rely on that touch-of-death stuff, he wouldn't have to hide from the outside cameras like that. [Escobar]: You don't think it has anything to do with the inability to pin a man outside, or the presence of foreign objects Stefan might use? [Swayze]: Yeah, right -- as if Stefan needs to get outside to use a weapon. He's a /weapons master/ -- they're NEVER bereft of options. {Kien pulls Schriber back to his feet, and throws him into the ropes, meeting him on the rebound with a dropkick. He rolls under the ropes to the apron, then stands up, jumping on the top rope; he springs off with a somersault legdrop, but Stefan rolls aside.} [Escobar]: Lun off with the high-risk move -- and he comes up empty! Perhaps "Dragonfire" became just a bit too confident with the roll he was on. [Swayze]: He thought he had Schriber put away with his evil Shao-Lin mastery, but Stefan has too much pride, too much stamina, too much raw courage to fall to such underhanded tactics. [Marone]: I think I saw the same movie you did on Samurai Sunday, but I'm not sure what it has to do with this match. {Schriber pulls Kien back up to his feet; Kien Lun tries to drive him off with a snap kick, but Stefan returns with a rake to the eyes. He then shoves Kien through the ropes to the floor. Heading back to his corner, he rummages through his athletic bag, pulling out an epee cup.} [Escobar]: Schriber tries to make the most of the opportunity, and /now/ he's got Kien outside of the ring ... while Brandie makes the count, he leaves off the offensive -- this is a bit strange ... [Swayze]: Hey, the French invented the whole concept of professional courtesy! [Marone]: So what's he doing going through that bag? [Escobar]: Huh -- I -- I think he's grabbed something ... he has! He's got some part of a sword, a hilt or something! [Swayze]: Well, uh, the French invented fencing, too. {As Kien staggers back into the ring and to his feet, Stefan whips him to the corner. Schriber climbs up the turnbuckle around Kien Lun, and begins driving punches down into his face with the epee cup.} [Escobar]: Schriber now has Lun trapped in the corner ... and he's just HAMMERING Lun with that piece! I can't believe this -- Brandie's got to get in there and stop him! [Swayze]: Oh sure, you're bothered by a little piece of metal, but the touch of death is OK? [Marone]: How do you know he's not using the touch of death WITH that thing? [Escobar]: Not you too, Mike ... {Stefan hops down, and whips Lun into the ropes; as Kien Lun returns, he jumps up onto Stefan's shoulders, does a gymnastic horse style handstand spin, then grabs Stefan's head as he falls to the mat.} [Escobar]: Schriber seems to think the match is about over ... he whips Lun in -- Lun on his shoulders -- POMMEL HORSE SPIN INTO NECKBREAKER! [Marone]: That doesn't just break a neck, it wrecks it, man. [Escobar]: Lun again pulling an amazing offense out of the jaws of defeat ... {Kien rolls to his knees, taking a moment to shake out some sting, then stands up, pulling Stefan with him. He scoops up Stefan, and drops him back to the mat in a Michinoku driver, falling forward for a pin cover: 1 ... Stefan pokes him in the eyes, breaking up the cover.} [Escobar]: Lun trying hard to put enough focus together to continue the offense, here. [Marone]: I know he feels ... you get late into a match, and you can't tell whether you're winning or losing, because your head's poundin' and it's hard to breathe, and that's the /good/ part ... more than once, the ref had to tell me I'd won. [Escobar]: He's up now ... MICHINOKU DRIVER! The cover -- a one-count only, thanks to an underhanded tactic on Stefan's part. [Swayze]: AHA! [Marone]: What? [Swayze]: You said he was Chinese, Justino -- but I have it on good authority the Michinoku Driver is a JAPANESE move! [Escobar]: Oh, terrific detective work, Chad. What does that have to do with anything? [Swayze]: It's obvious -- this means Stefan's theory is correct! [Escobar]: I'm not going to dignify that with a response. {Kien gets the jump on Stefan, and bends him into a kneeling dragon sleeper.} [Escobar]: OK, what secret and ancient evil is this? [Swayze]: It's a dragon sleeper. Jeez, don't you know anything? [Escobar]: I give up. [Marone]: You can't -- you're not in the hold. {Lun releases the hold, and both men stand; Kien Lun takes a step back, then knocks down Stefan with a crane kick. He climbs up the nearest turnbuckle, and jumps off backwards, hitting Stefan with a rear elbow drop, then hooks a leg ...} [Escobar]: Lun headed up to the top rope ... and -- and a quick rear elbow drop! Schriber seems caught off guard by the simple move ... the cover ... 1 ... 2 ... and 3!!! [Rod Allen] Your winner ... in a time of 7:44 ... "DRAGONFIRE" ... KIEN ... LUUUUUUN!!! >>PRESSBOX<< [Escobar] Lun tumbles out of the ring, and it's two-for-two for the ECWA tonight! [Swayze] Jeez, what's keeping that Maalox? [Escobar] While you're waiting for relief, Chad, we'll head to these messages ... stay tuned. ================================================================= WHEN LINE OF FIRE RETURNS: Karl heads to Dakota ... COMMERCIALS: The Keebler elves are giving aways tons of money in their cookies ... Having trouble sleeping? Meet Joe Black ... It's not just TV, it's HBO ... ================================================================= [Escobar] Well, aficionados, we're back and almost ready for our next match, featuring two technical ar ... tists ... uh, this is *not* what we had planned ... >>RINGSIDE<< {The camera shows Steve the Insane, wearing blue jeans and a "Looking 4 A Fight" t-shirt, wandering around the ringside area, mingling with the fans, eventually ending up at the Sniper's Nest stage. He's carrying a piece of paper in one hand.} >>PRESSBOX<< [Escobar] Well -- this is ... unusual ... we aren't scheduled for an interview with Steve the Insane at this time, but it would seem that he has SOMETHING to say ... [Swayze] Either that, or he's still suffering from a hangover, and thinks the Nest over there is his refrigerator box. [Escobar] Chad Duncan is not available at the moment ... but I think we can still get someone to talk to Steve ... {he holds a hand to his ear, speaking into his headset} Paul? All right, ladies and gentlemen, special assignment reporter Paul Stone is making his way now to the Sniper's Nest ... [Swayze] See, the name makes sense, because he's assigned to jabber with Steve-o, who's {makes quoting gestures with fingers} 'special'. >>SNIPER'S NEST<< {Paul steps onto the stage, carrying a microphone. Steve shakes his hand with a big goofy grin.} [Steve the Insane] Hey, Paul, how ya doing? Did you get enough to eat and drink at the party? [Swayze]: Well, that's a bright sign -- at least he realizes he's not AT the party anymore ... [Paul Stone] Uh, I'm doing fine Steve -- actually, I was wondering how YOU'RE doing, especially considering that piece of paper in your hand. [Steve] I'll get to that Paul -- how 'bout that partner of mine? {Big cheer swells from the crowd.} [Swayze]: Hey, Mike, can I switch seats? [Marone]: Uh ... sure. {Sounds of shuffling can be heard.} [Steve] I mean, there's a guy who's made some mistakes in his life, but he admits them, busts his tail trying to redeem himself, wrestles twice in one night, getting a board busted over his head in the process -- and not only does he wrestle twice, Paul, he wins twice, and gets himself a nice belt. If anyone out there is looking for a role model, there's your guy right there. [Marone]: There. What was that for. [Swayze]: I figure from here I can try to spot what you see in this guy. {pause} Nope, he still looks like a loser. [Paul] I gotta agree, Steve. Now, about this bount-- [Steve] {ignoring Paul} About that board shot though ... Dominic, really, I like you, kid. You've got spirit -- I mean, always dressing up, you seem to like practical jokes -- even if they are kinda mean spirited. You keep scaring poor Paul here -- that's just not nice. Then you went and hit my partner with a board -- well, kid, I guess you get to learn why we're known as Looking 4 a Fight. Since you have spirit, Dom ... tell ya what: if the AWI is agreeable, why don't we make our match next week no DQ, falls count anywhere? That way we don't have that pesky referee to worry about. [Paul] Steve, that's ... that's a pretty risky proposal, don't you think? {looks at the paper} Especially given this new bounty that seems to have-- [StI] {ignoring Paul} After that we've got the big Danse with Perfection. We've got them in our specialty. They've got us in a Boxers vs. Wrestlers match -- hell, then there may be one match that we really can't plan for. See, I kinda like things that way -- I do much better when I don't think. I just hope that Perfection's hearts are in it. I mean, Joe and I are always ready, willing, and able ... I dunno about Perfection though. That brings us to this piece of paper. For those that don't know, this says there's a $5,000 bounty on my head. [Swayze]: Which is an awful lot of money if you consider it as a per-weight sorta thing. [Marone]: I want my seat back, in case Steve thinks I'm you. {Paul sighs in visible relief that Steve's FINALLY addressing the topic, then makes a confused expression.} [Paul] Um ... I hate to be the one to tell you this Steve ... but the bounty is TEN thousand dollars. [Steve] {looks kind of surprised} Really? I could only afford to put up the $5,000 myself. [Escobar]: He WHAT?!? [Paul] Well, that's what our notes sa-- WHAT?!? {Paul drops the microphone arm for a moment, looking dumbfounded at Steve, then brings it back up}. You -- you're saying that you put the bounty ON YOURSELF??? [Swayze]: Oh, MAN, this is TOO SWEET! The Rob Mob is gonna tear this loser apart, and he's gonna PAY us to do it! I ... have died and gone to heaven. [Marone]: Don't say that -- it's too close to Christmas for me to become a Buddhist. {A murmur of discontent rumbles through the surprised crowd.} [Steve] It's pretty simple actually -- I obviously am the kind of guy who likes to enjoy himself. Last time that I /REALLY/ enjoyed myself in the AWI -- not counting Joe's party -- was when the Tigerman had that price on my head. Since then, though, people seem to be scared of a nice guy like me. Our pal Dominic wants to fight me, sure, but between you and me -- he's not exactly in his right mind. {This brings a small flurry of chuckles from the crowd.} [Steve] I figured Doug and Weasle would be good for a few laughs, but as soon as they got my interest they seemed to disappear. When there was money involved /EVERYONE/ wanted to play. So, if that's what it takes -- now there's money involved again. Perfection, I hope this gets you interested again. Dominic -- take your best shot. Jeremiah, Vorpal, Mischief -- hell, even Team Stevens -- anyone, I'm beggin' you. Now it's $10,000 -- easy money, right guys? What's the worst that could happen? [Paul] Aren't you worried at /ALL/ about being crippled? Maimed? Hair messed up? [Steve] Paul, c'mon ... I expect them to try. I honestly don't think they'll succeed. After all, if push comes to shove ... I'm not exactly a boy scout. See, all I want is folks to make an effort ... they get a shot at the money, I get my violence fix. Everyone's happy. If things get kinda hot for me though ... well, I've played with fire before. {Steve pulls a Zippo lighter from his jeans pocket and lights up the paper he'd been holding in his hand. The paper goes up in a bright burst of flame almost immediately.} [Steve] {grins} I haven't gotten burnt yet. >>PRESSBOX<< [Escobar] That man is seriously disturbed. [Swayze] That man is about one Scott Bradley away from a Team Stevens house party! [Marone] That man is gonna keep his five grand. Trust me. [Escobar] We can only wait and see what the future will bring, I guess ... and, more to the point, the question remains of who's putting up the MATCHING funds, a point Steve hardly addressed. But in the meantime, here are some words from a team that is perhaps more well-balanced than our friend Steve ... ================================================================= {The scene opens to a small workout room in the familiar dojo where the Chaos Brothers seem to hang out. "Zap" London is in the center winding down his workout by working the bag. Zap flinches a bit when the cameraman enters. He stares for a second, then relaxes, probably reassured that the cameraman is not Charlie Hazard again.} [Zap] Hey, thanks for showing up -- I got just a few things to say. First off, I'd like to say that our last match was probably our most and least satisfying ever. We proved to everyone that we can hang with the best in the fed. Whether Mike will admit it doesn't matter, we gave as we got with the great IC. But to lose in such a cheap way really bites. Oh well, as Blunt keeps telling me, we'll have other chances. Next, Von Eichmann. Dude, it was so cool to find out that you were joining the AWI just a couple of months after we did. I mean, you are an idol of mine. I watched you wrestle right before I came to the US. I think that was when I decided to become a wrestler. If I could maybe get your autograph there are guys back home who would worship it. But now, man, you got problems. Dave is really getting under your skin, isn't he? He's got you trying to strangle him. I understand totally, but calm down a bit, OK? Dave's just like the skinheads back home, the ones who attack all the Muslims. You can't ignore them, but if you attack them you just make their case stronger. Karl, alot of people don't like us here, some never will. As long as we fuel Dave's fire with violence, they'll be right behind him all the way. Keep cool and let people just get disgusted with Dave on their own time. He'll annoy everybody with an immigrant in their ancestory eventually, you just have to let him. Give him some rope, y'know? It feels weird giving advice to someone I admire so much. But I'm much more used to taking this kinda heat from people. Being in the punk scene gives you thick skin after a while. That and strong arches. Tell you what, you just chill for a while and have fun in your match with Blunt. I'll take care of Dave if he shows up, no problem. I'll see you there. ================================================================= {The screen "rotates", now showing the dojo devoid of students. The only figure in view is "Blunt" Dakota, sitting with his back leaned against the side wall. His hands clench and rub at his temples and he seems to be muttering something under his breath. The camera draws closer.} [Blunt] ... always told me that my belligerence would get me in trouble. Blunt, she said, you gotta learn to treat other people like they exist. Did I listen? Nooooooo, not me. Sure mom, whatever. Whoa, hello there! {Blunt finally focus on the camera. His head jerks up and his hands fall back to his lap.} [Blunt] Sorry about that. Just reflecting that my mama would not be surprised about this whole Hazard deal. She always told me ... well, I guess you heard that part. Anyway, I didn't listen, and now I've ticked off the man with the shortest fuse in the AWI. Hazard's a little short on a few other things, but I kinda started it by pushing him. Well, Hazard, I gotta do what my mama always told me to do. I should apologize. I shouldn't have treated you like you didn't mean anything, Hazard. You were doing us a favor and I pushed you around. I'm ... I'm sorry Hazard. I won't do that kind of thing again. {sigh} Good, now that I've got that out of the way, I can be completely {beep}ed with a clear conscience. Just cause I pushed past you doesn't give you the right to keep jumping on my poor head. You wanna finish this, we'll finish it. I wanna take care of you before the Danse. You bring your friend, I'll bring Zap. If we take you out, you don't come back. You aren't even supposed to be wrestling here. If you win, well, I'm sure you'll think of something. Now, let's see, I got a match with Eichmann this week. Zap's told me a lot about you. He's real impressed -- I'm not. You let Dave get to you a little too easy. The world's full of bigoted loudmouths like Dave. The second you start to react to their insults, they think they've got you. You gotta learn to let it slide off or you'll spend your life in America with a chip on your shoulder. Remember, freedom of speech means spending half your time insulted. Life's tough. Now, Dave, don't let me forget about you. Son, you are earning yourself no end of enemies here, you know that? Don't stick your nose into my match with Eichmann, OK? Think about it, Dave. For you, being an ass is just a hobby. I was a sergeant for a while, I got PAID to be obnoxious and mean. Don't mess with a professional. {Blunt stand and walks directly up to the camera.} [Blunt] Now you been standing there for that whole speech. Why don't you put down that camera for a while and we'll see if my sister keeps any decent beer in this place. {The camera rocks and jerks as it's set down on the floor and two set of feet walk past. The scene fades out.} ================================================================= >>PRESSBOX<< [Marone] It's nice to see that a great guy like Blunt can change his ways. [Escobar] It didn't need such extreme measures for that to happen, I'd imagine ... it'll be interesting if Mr. Hazard will have the courage to back up his threats, now that the challenge has been returned to him. [Marone] I don't think his heart's the problem -- it's his head. You want to talk cowardly-lion, check out Dave Hatfield. It's easy to spew over somebody's good name when you don't think they'll fight back, eh, Dave? [Swayze] Oh, sure -- ENCOURAGE the bloodthirsty German to be violent and aggressive. You'll all see, Dave was right all along -- I just hope it won't be too late by then. >>RING<< {Rod Allen steps into the center of the ring with microphone.} [Allen] Our next bout is set for one fall, with a time limit of ten minutes ... introducing first, from the city of Johannesburg, South Africa ... weighing in at two-hundred forty pounds ... accompanied to the ring by his tag team partner, "Zap London", he is one half of the Chaos Brothers: "BLUNT" DAKOTA!!! {The techno-pop sounds of "Chaos Brothers" by Toten Hosen waft into the arena, as its namesake work their way to the ring, slapping hands with the crowd.} [Allen] And his opponent tonight ... weighing in at two-hundred forty-four pounds ... from the city of Greenwich, Connecticut ... KARL VON EICHMANN! {Karl jogs down to the ringside, accompanied only by the cheers of the crowd and the sounds of "Voice of America" by Sammy Hagar.} [Allen] Your referee for this match is Brandie Mulroney. {The pair lock up in a collar/elbow tieup; Karl gets the initial advantage, moving to a front facelock, but Blunt counters with a single leg takedown. He quickly twists into a reverse toehold.} [Swayze]: Can you believe all that pompous lecturing? If Dave pulled the skeletons out of THEIR closets, I'll bet they'd crack just as fast as the gus-stepper here. [Escobar]: I'm reminded of something about glass houses, for some reason ... {Blunt releases the hold and stands up; he stomps at the leg, but Karl rolls aside, then takes down Blunt with a drop toehold. Blunt snares him in a leg scissorlock on the mat.} [Escobar]: Blunt even more aggressive than usual at the beginning of this match -- and it looks like he's talking to Karl as well ... seems to be some German language insults aimed at Berliners ... [Marone]: You speak German? [Escobar]: {lower voice} Well, a little ... I-- [Swayze]: Aahaa! So now we see why you're so sweet on Mr. Adolf here -- your one of his cronies, aren't you! Just like all those businessmen in _All-Star Squadron_, trying to sabotage the efforts of AMERICAN HEROES -- like Dave Hatfield! [Marone]: You read _All-Star Squadron_, too? Cool! Lemme guess -- you like Mr. Terrific, right? [Swayze]: Leave me alone. [Escobar]: I'm ... as we ARE on television, I'll let that pass, Chad ... in any case, I think he's trying to get under Karl's skin ... {Karl breaks free, and Blunt returns to his feet, then drops an elbow on Karl's knee. He wraps up Karl's leg back into a reverse toehold.} [Swayze]: Of COURSE he is -- Karl cracks here, and he's off his game, and if he's off his game he loses! The Chaos Brothers can talk New Age self-help all they want, but they're nothing more than cheap opportunists! [Marone]: Isn't that what New Age is all about? [Escobar]: That doesn't really click with what we've seen from Zap and Blunt so far, Chad -- I'm almost certain there's more to it than that ... {Blunt breaks the hold, but keeps a grip on Karl's leg, standing up; he then rolls forward for a hamstring stretch. Getting back to his feet, he turns Karl into a half-crab hold.} [Escobar]: Blunt working the leg early on -- [Swayze]: So he can't gus-step. Brilliant. [Escobar]: You're just being sick now, you know that? [Marone]: Terminally sick, the way he's goin'. {Karl pushes out of the hold, and stands up, visibly limping a little; Blunt picks him up, and delivers a kneebreaker. He then attempts an elbow drop, but Karl moves aside, and manages a reverse toehold of his own before Blunt can recover.} [Escobar]: Blunt's strategy starting to have a real effect now ... but Karl avoids the elbow, and takes control himself. [Marone]: Karl's got to use this to get his brains back-- you can lose 'em for awhile when somebody's nailin' you a lot. Hopefully he'll get 'em back while he's got a breather here. {Blunt breaks free, and both men move to their knees; Karl gets a front facelock on Blunt, and stands up, then spins around for a neckbreaker. Returning to his feet, he drops an elbow on Blunt's back, then stands back up and drives a knee into him. He returns to the reverse toehold from the mat.} [Escobar]: Both men trying to weaken their opponent's support and mobility, though Karl is spreading out his attack more ... [Swayze]: Hmm ... you know, maybe you're right, Justin. He might NOT be a Nazi. [Escobar]: I'm glad you're beginning to be reasonable-- [Swayze]: Yeah, a really dedicated Nazi would know enough not to spread himself across the Maginot line, and just drive RIGHT for Belgium! [Marone]: Um, you lost me. [Swayze]: You're not used to that by now? [Escobar]: I wouldn't worry, Mike. {Dakota breaks free, and both men work their way back to a standing position; Karl lunges forward to hit Blunt with a forearm uppercut that drops him to one knee, but Blunt recovers quickly enough to send Karl back to the mat with a single leg takedown. He stands up and wraps Von Eichmann into an inside toehold.} [Escobar]: Karl's out of the lock -- and he takes the offense again! Momentarily, only, it seems ... I didn't know you for a student of World War Two history, Chad ... [Swayze]: {snort} Cable blinked out last night, and all the Roadhouse could get was the Discovery Channel. [Marone]: Um ... so, where IS his Belgium? [Swayze]: Oh, Blunt doesn't have a Belgium -- he's African. {Eichman pushes his way free of the hold, and rolls aside to bring down Dakota with a drop toehold. Standing up, he runs to the ropes and lands a hard sitdown splash.} [Marone]: Yee-OWCH!!! Right in the Africa! [Escobar]: Not a very literary description, but accurate nonetheless -- Karl Von Eichmann getting some impressive height and impact with that vertical splash, and it looks like Blunt might be due for some chiropractic bills ... {Von Eichman pulls back Dakota's arms for a camel-clutch position before slapping on a claw.} [Escobar]: Von Eichmann pressing his advantage -- and THERE'S THE IRON CLAW! Blunt may have no where to go from here! {Von Eichmann checks on Blunt, helping him up; Blunt is visibly strained, clutching instinctively at his lower back. He manages to straighten himself up, as Karl extends a hand; after a moment of hesitation, Blunt clasps it, and the two shake hands to a mild crowd cheer.} [Escobar]: Despite his earlier apparent antagonism, Blunt Dakota still seems to be in sportsmanlike good spirits after this match -- although it's Karl Von Eichmann who'll walk away a winner! [Swayze]: As my cat likes to say, Me-Yawn! This is just one of those propaganda stunts -- Eichmann's lulling everyone into false security, then BOOM! Poland's gone! TIME: 4:03 >>PRESSBOX<< [Escobar] You can try all you like, Chad, but you're not going to change the way these great fans feel about Karl von Eichmann, and he's certainly earned it. And speaking of earning, it's time we earned our place on your TV, with some words from our sponsors ... [Marone] Not just words -- they come with pictures, too ... and sometimes music and stuff. ================================================================= WHEN LINE OF FIRE RETURNS: A prayer from the Reverend ... COMMERCIALS: "It's a Bug's Life", in theatres now ... go to KFC and catch yourself a Pohl-Kaaayy-Mahhn ... pick up the latest album by Metallica, "Garage Inc.," at Best Buy ... ================================================================= {The scene opens do a dressing room where Smith Durbin sits. Spread out on one knee is an open scrap book with well organized pictures and clippings. Balanced on the other knee is a boy of about five looking on as Smith explains several pictures.} [Smith] ... Here's my match with Robert Chandler, the last one I fought back in Texas. That's the shot of him taking me down in a fireman's carry. [Boy] Did it hurt? [Smith] Only my pride. Here's me returning the favor with a side takedown. [Boy] Did it hurt? [Smith] I don't know, he couldn't tell me. We weren't talking much when the match was over. The whole thing lasted about two hours. Anyway, here the last picture, me hooking him up for a pin. [Boy] Did it ... [Smith] No, Jason, it didn't hurt. You're definitely my sister's kid. She was always worried one of us would get really hurt. Of course, she did some crazy things on her own. You know, back when I was about fourteen ... [Female Voice]: Don't tell him THAT story. {An attractive woman in her early thirties enters the room. She's casually dressed with long black hair, and a few specks of grey. Her similar features make it a good guess that she's the sister Smith was alluding to.} [Smith] I wasn't going to tell him the whole thing, Helen, just the embarrassing bits. [Helen] Thank you, but I can embarrass myself just fine. {She scoops the boy out of Smith's lap.} Now come on, Jason, Mama's done with her appointment and it's time to go home. [Jason] Awwwww! Can I stay? Pleeeeasee?! [Helen] Stop whining Jason. Since you've been a good boy, we'll stop and get some ice cream on our way out. [Jason] Ummmmm ... [Smith] Go on, Jason. I'll talk to you later. And I'll see about getting you that Kerry Masters shirt. [Jason] Cool! OK. [Helen] Thanks for keeping him entertained, Smith. [Smith] What are little brothers for? Take care, sis. [Helen] You too. {After watching his sister leave the dressing room, Smith starts paging through the scrap book again. He focuses on the last page for a second, then closes the book.} [Smith] I thought this book would be it. When I graduated, I never expected to wrestle again. My old town was too small for me to be noticed for the Olympics or any other competition, I just wasn't flashy enough for professional wrestling. I thought that was it. I put the last page in this book, shut the cover, then buried it in my parents' basement. I told myself I would never open it again until I could look at it without feeling regret. Then some long lost cousin, the kind you get a Christmas card from every other Christmas, showed up for a visit. He'd heard about my dreams and told me he'd get me into the big feds. He got me into the local feds for a few months, but I wasn't real impressed. I was to good to get stuck there, but not good enough in the right way to get noticed. Deacon kept telling me to be patient, that he was scouting out the options. I didn't believe him. Then he came through. {Smith holds up the book.} First thing I did was dig this back up again. Now I show it to people, like my family. And I tell them, "This ain't nothin. Just wait. Soon I'll have some real victories, some real photos to show." I'll admit I was a little like Jason at first, awed, overwhelmed -- but not frightened. One thing I'm good at is wrestling, and I can handle anything, or anyone, the AWI has to offer. No one is going to stand between me and my future. No one. ================================================================= >>PRESSBOX<< [Swayze] Man, when you have to bring in a little kid to get sympathy, you should just RETIRE ... [Escobar] I'd like to say, I agree with Smith Durbin's optimistic attitude -- he WILL undoubtedly have some real memories to show for his time here in the AWI, not only for himself and his family, but for the fans and families who watch us here each week ... [Marone] HI, MOM!!! [Swayze] {disgusted} It's a good thing you're over six feet, Mike, or I'D have to retire now to avoid being a hypocrite. [Escobar] {muttering} I wouldn't think that would bother you, Chad ... {aloud} anyhow, I'm afraid we have scheduled next some decidedly less pleasant comments, from a decidedly less pleasant man ... >>AISLE<< {The choral themes of the "Hallelujah Chorus" echo through the arena, as the lights dim; a bright spotlight pours down onto the aisle entrance, engulfing the form of Reverend Jeremiah James, who stands head bowed and arms outstretched. He walks down to the ring, stepping inside; as he reaches the center of the ring, the spotlight expands into a Celtic cross effect which spins around him slowly as he speaks, using a quiet, deep voice, probably inaudible except for his ever-present collar mic.} [Reverend James] Greetings, my congregation ... the time has come for you to hear the words and will of the LORD, and be humbled. Let him who has ears, listen -- let him who has wisdom, understand. [Marone]: Man, this guy creeps me out. He's like the Spanish Inquisition on steroids or something. [Escobar]: Actually, that was in another league -- [Marone]: You got that right -- boy, is he in another league! Sometimes I think he's in a whole other world! [Swayze]: He's not the only one. {James raises his head to face the crowds.} [James] I beg your silence, my congregation, for tonight the Reverend Jeremiah James must speak of days to come. The sermon I bring you tonight, my congregation, is about *purpose*. For it is written in the Book of Truth that all men are created with a purpose, a calling from the LORD that demands their entire being. Some men do not heed the call; some men are so far fallen from the LORD that they never even hear the call. And some, such as the Reverend Jeremiah James, such as the forgiven son Nicholas Vorpal, such as ... one other ... {He sweeps a hand towards the video wall at the Sniper's Nest, which lights up in a frozen image of Justice.} [Escobar]: No -- no, this can't be true ... TELL me he hasn't somehow brought Justice under his twisted teachings ... that would be a dark day indeed for the AWI! [Swayze]: Why not? We saw the big J snap before ... he could be just ripe to snap again! [Escobar]: HARDLY a pleasant thought. [Swayze]: {singing} "Rock-a-bye Justy, watching the show, when the Right-On Rev, makes Justice kill Joe" ... kinda catchy, eh? [Marone]: Man, one of us needs his medication -- I sure hope it's you. [Reverend James] ... Some men feel that call in every fiber of their soul, and are powerless within its light. And even when such a man does not understand that call, when he does not recognize its source, and can not comprehend its true meaning ... neither can he DENY what MUST be obeyed. {The frozen image resumes motion, becoming a video clip:} Armageddon 7-11-97 Justice v. "Superman" Mike Piersall [Garcia] Piersall lifts Justice to his feet ... and Justice with a headbutt ... another headbutt ... and again a forearm! [Augustus] So much for technical ability. After turning his back on his friends, Justice seems to have turned his back on his true wrestling skills. [Hairie] Why not? You see where his friends got him! You expect him to wait and see what clean wrestling gets him? [Garcia] Justice finally showing off some wrestling expertise with a neckbreaker ... Justice lifts him up ... Piersall goes for a clothesline ... BUT JUSTICE DUCKS UNDER AND SLAPS ON A SLEEPER!!! [Augustus] Went to the well once to often did Piersall. [Hairie] SNAP HIS NECK JUSTICE!!! PUT HIM OUT TO PASTURE!!! JUSTICE FOR ALL!!! [Garcia] Justice really wrenching on that sleeper ... Piersall flailing wildly ... desperately trying to escape! AND PIERSALL NAILS THE REF!!! KEYES IS DOWN!!! {The image freezes, fading into a black and white still of Keyes going down, and Piersall still trapped in the wrenching sleeper.} [Reverend James] You see before you the true strength of Purpose ... relentless, adamant, unforgiving ... not desire for adoration, not the bonds of friendship, no force in this mortal realm can prevent the man before you from action when the Purpose has siezed him. This man belongs to the LORD, and has served Him well -- and will continue to serve His House of Truth ... {The image on the video screen pixel dissolves to another frame, which cues into another clip.} [Garcia] Hold everything! Dr. Lupo is on the canvas ... he just called Justice over to him ... and handed him some brass knuckles! [Augustus] And Justice descends lower into the depths of the abyss. [Hairie] This is great! Now we get to see Justice hand down another sentence. Piersall gonna pay! {The clip does a "spin" cut.} [Garcia] Lupo down off the apron. Justice looks at the brass knuckles ... AND PUTS THEM ON!!! This can't be happening!!! [Augustus] Alas poor Superman. We knew him well. [Garcia] PIERSALL IS UP! HE'S UP! Justice looks at Piersall ... now at Lupo, who's still egging him on ... and now to the crowd! [Hairie] Man if this were a shoe commercial he would of just *done* it! HIT HIM FOR PETE'S SAKE! [Garcia] Piersall approaches Justice ... he can't believe what he's seeing ... Piersall looks at Lupo and starts making his way to the ropes ... AND JUSTICE TAKES A SWIPE AT HIM!!! {The clip freezes again into black and white.} [Reverend James] This is the TRUE Justice you see, the man as the LORD intended. The task before him must be done, and he does not flee from it, even though it may incur the wrath of his beloved multitudes, even though it would destroy he who once was considered "friend". [Escobar]: This is abominable ... those clips are of a Justice pushed to the breaking point, BY Rev. James and his cronies ... I can't believe he's opening up these wounds again. [Swayze]: Hey, you know the saying -- you can't pour salt on a closed wound. [Marone]: Yeah, I guess that -- HEY! That's sick! Know this, my congregation, and hear this, man called Justice ... thou seek to understand the chaos that rules your heart ... and I offer that understanding now. For that one night, thy TRUE heart was freed to the world ... for that one night, THOU, not I, was the true sword of His justice -- the role thou wer't *always* meant to fill. [Escobar]: He cannot POSSIBLY believe he's going to get away with this COMPLETELY transparent slander -- when Justice is in this very building tonight, due for a match against Nick Vorpal? [Swayze]: Probably a sparring match between future partners! [Reverend James] Yes, my congregation, the Reverend James speaks the truth ... for one day, there will be an even greater Reverend to lead the House of Truth, and I tell you he walks these halls tonight. But he must be prepared for his ordainment, and it is for this purpose that I, the Reverend Jeremiah James, now turn my hand ... [Voice of Justice]: You still have no concept what you face, James. {The crowd quickly picks up on Justice's presence, as he breaks through the curtain, holding a mic. He stops in the entranceway and GLARES at the video screen, then continues to the ring, the glare now focused on the Reverend. He starts talking as he makes his way down.} [Justice] You are the only one who does not see, James. This is not about who the fans support; this is about what the people BELIEVE!! What they know to be right and wrong is the very essence of what Justice *is*; What I AM! {climbs into the ring} You are correct; when I did that {pointing at the video screen of him swinging at Piersall} I was not serving my purpose; I was serving YOURS! But I already told you, I have no intention of EVER being a part of ANYTHING that has to do with YOU, EVER AGAIN!! {The fans punctuate Justice's declaration with a soaring cheer.} [Escobar]: YYYES! I knew this was too wrong to be true! THIS is OUR Justice! [Swayze]: Eh -- ohhh, ye of little faith. [Reverend James] Man called Justice ... thy hand WAS stayed that night ... thou did NOT lay the finishing blow to destroy this man Piersall. Know thee that this was by MY doing ... MY will, and His {turns his head skyward for a moment}. For in the day that thou ascends the steps of the House of Truth, thou cannot do so in the name of any other, in the service of these mortal men. Thou must know what thout art to be thyself. Thou must know your Purpose -- and have faith, the Reverend James is ready for thy instruction. {He reaches inside his vest, and withdraws a neatly folded piece of paper with a legal seal on it.} Thy words are still corrupted by the chaos in your heart, but thy soul will remain true, man called Justice. Thou cannot defy the will of the LORD in this House of Truth ... and I will prove to thee and {sweeps an arm across to indicate the fans} these faithless multitudes who seek to chain thee to sin with their empty adoration. {lifts the hand with the paper} I hold in this hand a binding contract, signed by the hand of a decent and pious man, by the name of Ken Mischief ... in this contract, he agrees to face the man who signs it for the championship he now carries -- the AWI World Heavyweight championship -- at the unholy grounds of the AWI's Danse Macabre. [Escobar]: What-- is this legitimate?!? How did he get Ken Mischief to sign a match just like that? [Swayze]: He's a man of God, bay-bee -- a licensed miracle worker! Amen and Hallelujah! [Reverend James] Were thee a weaker man, thee who calls thyself Justice, thou would desire this contract. Were thee a false icon of the multitudes, thou would sign your name to face this man. But I know that thou art a true servant of the LORD ... that thy soul will follow His will in the end ... and so thou will deny this 'opportunity', will denounce the organization that offers it to thee, and rebuke the sinners who would have thee led astray ... [Marone]: C'mon, Justice, grab that paper and shove it in his yap! You're better than this ... [Swayze]: He's gonna do it -- he's gonna say 'no', and join up with the Reverend! This is great! [Justice] {brief pause} You pretend to know so much, yet you know so little. Justice has no interest in belts and titles {snatches the contract} but Justice DOES have an interest in punishing the guilty!! Mischief is an arrogant, brutal creature, and I've waited for a chance to bring justice to him. I should thank you for giving it to me. And at Danse Macabre ... JUSTICE ... WILL BE SERVED!!! {The fans fairly explode into cheers, as Justice's music keys back up ... the camera zooms in on an intently displeased James, who bows his head and steps back.} [Escobar]: Unbelievable! We have ourselves a title match! But somehow I don't think that's the last of the mind games played by this demented prophet ... [Swayze]: As if the world champion would put his name on a contract without an edge, without some kind of ace up his sleeve ... give the man some credit, Justin! [Escobar]: What I have to give him, unfortunately, is a few more minutes of commercials ... we'll be back after this. ================================================================= WHEN LINE OF FIRE RETURNS: Checkmate plays for keeps! COMMERCIALS: Roleplaying & Robots: XENOGEARS, from Squaresoft ... Trey Parker & Matt Stone star in BASEKETBALL, now on home video ... Watch MARTIAL LAW Saturdays on CBS ... ================================================================= {"She Blinded Me With Science" by Thomas Dolby plays as the curtain parts and Robbie Stevens, in a neckbrace and still trying to solve the Rubik's cube, leads the way, followed by Corey Bonham who's pushing a large-screen TV on a cart. It should be noted that both men are wearing lab coats and 2 clipboards ride on top of the TV. They stop at the Sniper's Nest stage.} [Swayze]: {sniff} What a show of heroic spirit ... this mercilessly savaged man, still coming down to give the fans what they pay to see ... [Marone]: That would be him, getting mercilessly savaged, right? [Robbie] Before we get under way ... {cranes his neck} OW! As some of you have noticed, I am minus my title belt. However ... this is something that will be corrected very shortly. We have brought out this VCR for two reasons tonight ... OW! [Swayze]: What a trooper ... [Marone]: Gee, am I the only one here who doesn't speak German? [Robbie] The first of which is this following clip. You people can watch the jumbo-tron to see what I'm talking about. Corey, press play. {A clip rolls from the title match on the last Line of Fire, the same one as from the beginning of the show -- Joe Walker has lifted up Robbie and gives him a powerbomb-into-piledriver.} [Robbie] Now ... any wrestling fan worth their salt knows that the piledriver is banned in Tennessee. Now I don't know about you ... but that sure as heck looked, and trust me, it felt, like a piledriver. So ... Joe-Joe Walker, the Athletic Commission is calling ... and it's saying that you should have been disqualified on the spot and the TV title should be handed back to the true champion, not some CHEATER like you, Robbie Stevens ... thank you! [Swayze]: SEE?! SEE?! I TOLD you he was still the champ! The Main Man ALWAYS finds a way! [Escobar]: I'd be marvelling at the irony of Robbie Stevens calling anyone else a cheater ... but I think I'm developing a tolerance. [Marone]: I think my Uncle George got one of those, on his big toe. He had to get surgery. {The crowd boos at this announcement.} [Robbie] Now, Professor Bonham, perhaps you'd like to explain today's experiment ... [Corey] Oh ... like, ok. So like, we were sitting around and like, we figured that the only reason why like, these people cheer Kerry Masters is because like, he says the same thing at the end of every interview. So like, we were like ... "Dude, if he like said any other thing at the end of every interview, like he'd get the same reaction." So like, we came up with this experiment and stuff ... [Robbie] Now, before we start the experiment: safety first -- put on your goggles ... {Both men put on safety goggles.} [Marone]: Uh-oh ... are we far enough away? I didn't bring my goggles. [Escobar]: Iiiii think we'll be OK, Mike. {Corey presses play on the VCR remote. The tape plays, it shows a picture of Kerry Masters doing an interview.} [Corey] Test case number 1 ... {Kerry's mouth moves and "Whatchu Talkin' Bout Willis?" is dubbed over. The clip stops. Both look at the crowd to see their reaction, though most seem unamused by the bit. They scribble stuff down on their clipboards.} [Robbie] {in a bad Germanic "scientist" accent} Innnnnnnnertesting ... Test case number two ... {Tape plays, repeat the same as the previous clip, but now Kerry says "Where's the Beef?" The two continue taking notes.} [Corey] {doing a deadpan Mr. Spock} Fascinating, Captain ... {losing the accent} Dude ... {Tape plays a third time, this time Kerry says "Yo Quiero Taco Bell!" Corey loses it laughing.} [Corey] Du-hude! That ruled! I wanna see it again! [Robbie] Corey, later! [Corey] I love that little dog, man! Come on, please ... [Robbie] We've got the tape, you can watch it anytime you want. So ... judging from our test results: Kerry by any other catchphrase ... would stink just as much. {looks at the notes} But if he said "Yo Quiiro Taco Bell", he could probably run for president. [Marone]: Hey, he's right -- the dog IS cool. [Robbie] The fact is, Kerry Masters, just like all those catchphrases are a passing fad, so are you. And when you get in with a combination with the staying power of Team Stevens, you're be out of date faster than Billy Ray Cyrus ... Because Originality 3:16 says, Catchphrases suck! {The crowd boos Robbie heavily as he and Corey wheel their "experimental" gear back down the aisle.} [Swayze]: That's how to tell 'em like it is, Robbie! When the New Jersey Ninja, the Most Feared Foot in Wrestling, lays it down, everyone listens! The Walking Weapon of Mass Destruction is going to fire off those Camden Cannons all over Carry-On Masters & Jurassic Straite, and Smilin' Joey, Wrestling's Fashion Plate, will pick up the pieces and make them all submit individually, bay-bee! [Marone]: Um ... don't you have to retire now? >>RING<< [Allen] Our next contest is a women's tag team bout, with a time limit of ten minutes ... introducing first, at a combined total weight of two-hundred and thirty-nine pounds ... the combination of COLT KAWAII ... and her tag team partner for tonight ... KELLY TUCKER!!! {"Deep in the Heart of Texas" heralds the appearance of Colt Kawaii who, as usual, bounces from the back, grinning wide and waving to the fans as she does. She's in her usual ring attire of white singlet, wrist-tape, and kickpads over red and blue cowgirl boots. Over this she wears a stylized "Texas flag" jacket and a white cowgirl hat with a silver star emblem across the front and a chin strap. She pauses, then takes a stutter-step, cartwheel, two backflips and a full one and a half layout down the aisle, getting a nice pop from the fans. She then hops down the aisle, slapping hands and smiling the whole way.} [Escobar]: And now we finally know who Colt has found to team with against Alliyah Johnston and her dangerous new protege. And a /very/ good choice indeed, it would seem -- Kelly Tucker's experience should be a solid counter to the Mastermind's deviousness. [Swayze]: Say, Justino ... about how long would you say it takes to develop that tolerance thingie? Because I figure I've got about thirty seconds before I ralph on the monitor ... [Marone]: {low and intense} Lay ... off. {Kelly Tucker follows afterwards, looking on in amusement and perhaps a little indignation. Once to the ring, Colt hops from the floor to the apron in one bound, then slingshots over to land in a roll, popping up with her hat still in place, smiling and waving to the crowd, as Kelly takes the more conservative route up the ring steps.} [Swayze]: Uh ... yeah ... {soto voce} yeesh, a guy just tries to be honest ... [Allen] And their opponents ... weighing in at a combined total of three hundred pounds even ... the combination of "Mastermind" Alliyah Johnston ... and the "Dragon" Talia Yamahara ... CHECKMATE!!! {"Superpredators" by Massive Attack keys up, as "Mastermind" Alliyah Johnston and "The Dragon" Talia Yamahara make their way to ringside.} [Escobar]: Alliyah Johnston brings this new, and frankly, untested protege to the ring ... of course, Alliyah herself has been absent from the actual ring for some time ... {Alliyah retrieves a microphone from the announcer's desk as she passes them.} [Alliyah Johnston] It would appear, dear Colt, that you and your suicidal friend have been misled. You have been lead astray down a winding, dark path leading only to an apocalyptic finale. Unfortunately, though I take great pleasure in embarrassing and humiliating you, it was not I that perpetrated this mistruth -- it was the AWI administration. You see, I issued a challenge a short time ago, for you to search high and low for a partner to take on Checkmate. I know not the unfathomable purpose, but it would seem that everyone has assumed that "Checkmate" refers merely to myself and the Dragon. No, poor, dear Colt -- you do not have to deal with the Mastermind. What you have to deal with is the single most dominant woman's wrestler ever to step foot in an AWI ring ... a woman that has set a record for the longest title reign EVER in the AWI ... the most feared woman on the continent of North America as well as the Isle of Japan ... and the Black Queen of Checkmate ... She is ... TIGER Z!!! [Escobar]: This ... this is-- [Marone]: Oh, MAN, she did it AGAIN!!! [Swayze]: Is Alliyah like the second-smartest person in the whole AWI or what, bay-bee! Obviously our Genius from Jersey has an edge on her, but she's the best of the rest by FAR! {Alliyah spins around to point at the entrance aisle, and the camera takes the hint. The opening notes of "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor, punctuated between measures with echoing tiger roars, fills the arena, as the curtains part to reveal the Asian bodybuilder, clad in her usual tiger-print full leotard, but also wearing a leather jacket with slashes along the upper sleeves revealing a tawny lining, and a sequin-studded pattern on the back in the pattern of a chesspiece queen. She stalks down to the ring with a smile of pure confidence, sliding off her jacket for Alliyah to hold as she steps onto the apron.} [Escobar]: To paraphrase Mike's analysis for those of you at home, it would seem that Alliyah has used the same contractual gambit which served her well at International Incident, when she pitted "Cool" Kitty Taylor as her representative against Dacia Blackthorne ... I'm not certain of the precise legality of these maneuvers, but unfortunately on such short notice, referee Tom Newman seems unwilling to contest her announcement. [Swayze]: No kidding -- this is JOHNSTON we're talking about! This is the Bobby Fischer of wrestling ... NOBODY knows the boardroom boardgame better than her! If she says it's good to go, bay-bee, you GO! [Escobar]: Tiger Z, the AWI's first Women's World champion, certainly looks in prime shape tonight, but of course the "ring rust" issue I alluded to earlier with regards to Alliyah may apply even more strongly to Tiger Z, who has not been seen in the ring since her decisive loss to the Fallen Angel ... and she's not going to be seen in the ring for at least a little while longer, choosing to let the Dragon open this bout. {Colt Kawaii calls for a collar-elbow tieup; Talia seems to comply, but withdraws at the last moment, making a circle around her quarter of the ring. The two square off again, and Colt again gestures for the tieup; Talia fakes her off again, and receives a mild warning from the referee. Colt, looking visibly frustrated, backs into her corner to fume for a moment, before tagging in Kelly.} [Marone]: Aw, geez ... if you're going to sign the match, FIGHT the match ... [Escobar]: It looks like Yamahara is doing her best to unnerve the young dynamo early on, and she definitely seems to be gaining at least a small psychological edge ... [Swayze]: It's nothing THAT sinister, Escobo -- she just doesn't want to touch a traitorous unpatriotic minibimbo like Colt -- you know, in case it's contagious. {Kelly enters the ring, and makes a sudden lunge for Talia; Talia bends down and backdrops her, then turns around and drops a leg on her.} [Escobar]: Talia Yamahara on her game there ... {Talia wraps Kelly in a scissorlock.} [Escobar]: And Talia takes to a slower pace almost immediately -- which may NOT be the best strategy, considering her own youth and energy compares more favorably against Tucker than Kawaii. [Marone]: True, but you were just talkin' about how she's sorta new at this? Maybe she figures it's best to take things slow until she's sure how Kelly's gonna wrestle her. {Kelly twists free, and both women stand. Talia stuns Kelly with a chop, then armdrags her to the mat; Kelly keeps a grip on her arm, and surprises Talia with an armbar.} [Escobar]: Quick martial arts blow from the Dragon, and a takedown -- but a surprising reversal by Kelly Tucker! There's the edge in experience which makes Kelly dangerous! [Swayze]: That, and the poisonous Geritol fumes in her breath. {Talia breaks free, and chops Kelly in retribution; she then grabs Kelly in a headlock, and drags her to the corner. Kelly punches her way out, then pushes her away from the corner.} [Escobar]: Talia attempting to take Kelly into no man's ... er, woman's land -- but Kelly says, "Nada!" [Marone]: Good idea. Johnston's not your normal manager type -- just 'cuz she was afraid to get in the ring doesn't mean she won't be willin' to mix it up. [Swayze]: She was NOT afraid! It was a PLOY, you mickle- head! Can't anyone appreciate brilliance? {Tucker whips her into the ropes, and dashes in the opposite direction; both women make a tag as they hit the other side. Colt Kawaii hops into the ring, and dropkicks the entering Tiger Z.} [Escobar]: Quick tags, and we have a brand new game -- and Colt Kawaii scores the first blow! [Swayze]: Causing Z shame that will stain her family for centuries ... they'll probably change their name to Y to avoid the embarrassment, I imagine. {Colt rushes into the ropes, leapfrogs Z as she's standing back up, and leaps onto the opposite ropes, jumping off to floor Z with a bodypress.} [Escobar]: A graceful aerial attack from Kawaii ... she's content with the takedown, and makes no cover ... [Marone]: I dunno -- I don't think she should be passing up opportunities like that early on. You never know when you could get lucky. [Swayze]: Could I get lucky and Colt break her neck? [Marone]: No, but Steve might find out you've been writing Angela's phone number on the restroom walls here. [Swayze]: WHAT?! I didn't -- that's not true! [Marone]: Can Steve be sure of that, y'think? {She stands up and drops an axe kick into Tiger's midriff, before bouncing back into the ropes. Once more, Colt hops over Tiger, then rebounds off the other side before knocking her down with a stiff dropkick. Rolling to her feet, she hops onto the top rope, and springs off with a moonsault splash.} [Escobar]: Colt's speed seems to be totally confounding Tiger here -- and perhaps, combined with the loss to the Fallen Angel, we're seeing a flaw in the ex-champ's technique, not fully preparing herself for aerial attacks. [Swayze]: C'mon, man, you can't joke around with stuff like that to Steve ... he's got all these crazy ideas in his head about me already ... c'mon, just say you were joking ... [Marone]: Huh? I'm sorry, I was watching the match. [Swayze]: THAT'S NOT FUNNY! {Both women stand, and Colt lands a side kick, then whips Tiger into the ropes; Colt rebounds from the other side, and vaults over Tiger Z with a sunset flip: 1 ... 2 ... Talia darts in and stomps Colt for the save.} [Escobar]: Pinfall predicament, and Colt may have it! No -- the Dragon makes the save ... but Tiger Z definitely seems to have problems keeping up with this little package of dynamite! [Swayze]: SEEMS to, Justino ... see, this is just the "stalking" phase. When she wants to make the kill, it'll be a COMPLETELY different match. [Marone]: Yeah, that was how I read it, too, because Colt's winning THIS match. {Colt hits Tiger Z with a karate punch as she's getting up, while the referee directs Talia back out of the ring. She whips Z into the ropes, and bounces off the other side for momentum, jumping into a bodypress ... but Tiger catches her in midair, spins her onto a shoulder, then turns around to powerslam her.} [Escobar]: Another bodypress from-- OLA! Tiger Z just POWERED her down like a sack of potatoes! [Swayze]: I think the sack of potatoes would weigh more. Also, it would put up a better fight. [Marone]: Man, right above the sink, too, where any yahoo could see it. Talk about your lack of class -- [Swayze]: CUT IT OUT ALREADY!! Steve, ya gotta believe me, he's making this up -- OKAY, OKAY, she'd beat a potato sack, OK? TELL HIM YOU'RE KIDDING!! [Marone]: Well, since you asked nicely, I -- uh-oh, looks like Colt's in trouble again ... [Swayze]: AIIIIGHH!!! {Tiger applies a clawlock to Colt's face, and uses it to drag Colt into a neutral corner; she releases the claw, and whips Colt hard into the Checkmate turnbuckle. Closing in, she tags Talia, then wraps Colt into a hammerlock, turning her to face Talia just in time to get a karate kick.} [Escobar]: True to their name, Checkmate begins playing for position, leaving Colt Kawaii in the danger zone ... {Colt shakes off the hit and dropkicks Talia as Z is leaving the ring.} [Escobar]: ... but Colt will NOT give this up so easily! [Marone]: C'mon, Colt, make the tag. {She rolls to her feet and delivers a legdrop, then backs off slightly, letting Talia stagger up. She whips Talia to the ropes, and catches her with another dropkick on the return. She climbs a neutral corner, but Tiger Z (who has been pacing the apron) pushes her off; Talia slaps on a scissorlock before she can regain her senses.} [Escobar]: Colt going on the offensive instead, and looking VERY impressive in doing so ... and she's going up top -- but Z shoves her off! I can't believe Tom Newman let that slide! [Swayze]: Are you kidding? Tommy Singles there probably skipped a paycheck tonight just to take this match. He's too distracted by the wiggles and jiggles to call anything. {Colt breaks free, and both women return to standing. Talia spins Colt into a legwheel takedown.} [Escobar]: Impressive jujitsu throw from the newcomer Yamahara ... [Swayze]: That's not all that's impressive ... in case the point hasn't gotten across yet, wow-sa-matic, Talia! On a scale of 1 to 10, you're in triple-digits! {Talia grabs Colt's legs and falls backward, slinging her into the turnbuckle. She then scrambles over to lock Colt into a half nelson, using it to control Kawaii while she drags the smaller girl to the Checkmate corner.} [Escobar]: Colt Kawaii once more in jeopardy ... [Marone]: This is like watching your little sister get shaken down for lunch money ... though it's also kinda like those wierd Japanese commercials that never make any sense, so it's a little confusing, too. {Talia makes the tag to Tiger Z, who climbs the turnbuckle; Talia releases the hold and delivers a sharp kick to Colt's back, followed almost immediately by a flying dropkick from Tiger Z.} [Swayze]: WHA-BAM! Jeopardy is RIGHT! I'll take Aching Head Injuries for $1000, Alex! [Escobar]: Wicked double-team combination from this Checkmate pairing ... perhaps betraying significant previous training from Alliyah Johnston, in preparation for this event? {Tiger Z wraps a hammerlock on Colt, taking the opportunity to gloat some for the camera.} [Swayze]: You think the Mastermind pulls something like this out of her purse, on a whim? Come ON, Escobo -- ol' Kelly may be ready to step into the ring on a two-week notice, but you can bet that THIS combo's probably been working together from the moment Alliyah renewed her manager's license! {She moves around in front of Colt, applying an inverted double hammerlock; she uses this to stand Colt up, -- but Colt turns around, bending forward to hook Tiger Z into a backslide.} [Escobar]: Z seems ready for the tiger bomb -- but Colt is NOT out of it yet! 1 -- Z rolls free, but she does NOT look happy. {Colt stands up, and rushes to the ropes, bouncing off, then hopping over Tiger Z as they meet; she rebounds from the other side, and does the splits to avoid a charge from Z.} [Swayze]: Of COURSE she doesn't look happy! Have someone pull YOUR hair to get a pin, and see how happy-- {sotto voce} whoa, that was actually kinda cool ... {Z bounces from the ropes as Colt snaps back up to her feet, and Colt hops up to throw her with a monkey flip.} [Escobar]: An intriguing defensive posture ... leads to a smart offensive maneuver from Colt Kawaii! {Colt rolls back to a standing position, takes a few steps towards Z, then bends forward into a handstand, holding it for a long moment before falling forward to drop a leg across Z.} [Escobar]: Ever the crowd-pleaser, Colt presses some mileage out of an unusual leg drop variant ... [Swayze]: Is this chick dating that Dragonfire dude or something? If I want to watch this cheesy Moceanu stuff, I'd be in front of Bela Karoli's windows. [Escobar]: PLEASE, Chad, this IS network television ... {Colt rolls to her knees, and reaches for the corner to tag in Kelly, but Tiger Z grabs her by the hair and pulls her back; she stands up, keeping a hold of Colt's hair despite the referee's warning, and uses it to pull Colt into a kneelift.} [Swayze]: OK, OK, his GYM windows. Happy? [Escobar]: Colt Kawaii ready to give Kelly another go -- no! Tiger Z uses a cheap tactic to keep Colt inside -- and then adds insult to injury! [Marone]: This looks more like adding injuries to insult. {Tiger Z pushes Kawaii into a corner, and grabs her arms from behind; Colt jumps up and kicks off the turnbuckle, twisting to the side to throw Tiger Z into a modified armdrag.} [Escobar]: Z readies the Tiger Suplex, and-- Colt Kawaii with an AMAZING countermove! [Marone]: Better save this on tape -- Z's gonna want to know what happened there. {Colt somersaults over to slap Kelly's hand, and Tucker enters the ring, as Talia hops the rope to help her partner. Kelly armdrags Talia, then does the same to Tiger Z as she's getting up. She jumps up to dropkick a returning Talia, and gets to her feet in time to cut off a charge by Z with a second dropkick.} [Escobar]: Hot tag to Kelly Tucker -- and 'hot' is the operative word, because Kelly is ON FIRE! She looks ready to take on both of these women by herself, and indeed right now she's doing JUST THAT! [Marone]: All that training Alliyah did sorta went out the window here -- I think she needs to keep her people cooler under fire. {Colt and Kelly both bounce into opposite ropes, but Tiger and Talia both manage to intercept them respectively with back drops.} [Escobar]: Kelly and her new partner attempt a combination attack-- no! [Swayze]: I'll take this ... {doing a deep-voiced imitation of Justin} Double team attempt by Broad & Brat -- but THEY ARE PATHETIC, fishy-nachos! They should just give up now while they still have SOME semblance of dignity, the meager amount they began this match with dwindling ever further ... [Marone]: I'd say the same about you right about now. {Talia scrambles back to the corner, as Tiger Z lays a claw on Kelly Tucker; she uses it to pull Tucker to the corner, and tags in Yamahara, then lifts Kelly for a press slam.} [Escobar]: Given that we confirmed you have no *official* capacity at this table, Chad, I'm guessing the front office wouldn't mind if I cut your microphone cable tonight ... [Marone]: Don't do that. They'd take the cable cost out of your salary. [Escobar]: Ah. Good point. {The two women pull Kelly back up, preparing for a double irish whip, but Kelly shakes free of their grasp, then grabs each of them by the head and slams them with a double bulldog.} [Escobar]: Checkmate holding a solid advantage right no-- I SPOKE TOO SOON! WHAT an amazing comeback move from Kelly Tucker! [Swayze]: What amazes me is that she can do that without her arthritis locking her up. {Kelly locks a reverse toehold on Talia, as Tiger Z rolls out of the ring to regain her bearings.} [Escobar]: Speaking of locking up, Kelly has the Dragon cinched up tightly, as Tiger Z seeks safer pastures outside! [Marone]: WOW! Chad fed you a segue! That means he's actually been USEFUL tonight! [Swayze]: Hey! I earn my paycheck EACH AND EVERY NIGHT! [Marone]: Yeah, but Robbie pays your checks. [Swayze]: You never said useful to who. {Talia breaks out, and both women stand; Kelly scoops up Talia for a bodyslam. She lets Yamahara stand again, then whips her to the ropes, catching her on the return with a drop toehold.} [Escobar]: Yamahara seems increasingly frustrated with her inability to keep an advantage against the veteran. [Swayze]: How can you blame her? Maybe you can't hear it over these substandard mics, but Kelly's in there trying to put her to sleep with boring old stories about the mid-80s scene in Mexico or something like that! She's sucking all the air out of the ring and replacing it with drone-ons! [Escobar]: It's strange how you can be here next to us and on a completely different planet at the same time. {Kelly releases the hold, and stuns Yamahara with a punch as they stand; she whips Talia into the corner, then armdrags her back to the middle of the ring. Tucker kicks Talia sharply as she staggers back up, then whips her back into the ropes.} [Escobar]: Kelly Tucker keeping a firm grip on the pace of this match, wearing down Talia with a textbook scientific approach ... {Talia hops over Tucker as they meet, and catches her on the second pass with a stiff palm thrust to the chin.} [Swayze]: Psych! And WHA-BAM! [Escobar]: Kelly Tucker took that blow hard, and one has to feel for her -- some of the world's best wrestlers have ended matches with just such a maneuver. [Swayze]: Ah, so you've seen Robbie in action on the Total Japan circuit, huh? Thing o' beauty, bay-bee! [Escobar]: Well, no, that ... wasn't who I had in mind. {Talia stumbles to her corner, and tags in Z, then whips Kelly to the ropes. Kelly rebounds to surprise Talia with an armdrag while Z is still entering the ring.} [Escobar]: Tucker's focus unfortunately divided -- though Tiger Z is the legal woman, she can't afford to ignore Talia right now ... [Swayze]: Or Colt! You never know how shifty those Japanese women are ... this could all be one big scam to put Tucker out of wrestling completely! [Marone]: I'm gonna scam you right through the table if you keep that up. Colt is NOT shifty. {Tucker makes the tag to Colt, and each woman whips her opponent to opposing sides; Tucker lands a dropkick on Talia Yamahara, but Tiger Z catches the jumping Colt around the waist and slams her to the mat in a modified powerbomb.} [Escobar]: Kelly Tucker definitely has Yamahara well-scouted -- but not so Colt! Tiger Z sends her crashing to the mat in her second earthshaking reversal of the night! And -- oh, no, the Mastermind's up to something ... {Alliyah Johnston hops onto the apron, visibly shouting at Tucker; Kelly grabs Talia by the head and throws her into Alliyah, knocking the manager off the apron.} [Escobar]: Kelly Tucker takes care of both interlopers -- but it may not be the right time for this! {At the same time, Tiger Z picks up Colt, hooks her left arm from behind, then wraps her free arm around Colt's neck to grab her left hand. She flexes backwards into a suplex, dumping Colt hard on her head; she then makes a pin cover ...} [Escobar]: No -- Z with a DEVASTATING variant of her usual Tiger Suplex! Newman with the count, and Tucker's still busy taking care of her own business ... 1 ... 2 ... and 3!! TIME: 9:08 [Swayze]: HA-HA!! THE MASTERMIND DOES IT AGAIN! THE TIGER KICKS THE KITTEN'S CAN! COLT GETS CONKED ON HER KIESTER! THE--{thump-th-th-thump}OW!!! [Marone]: Sorry -- my mic slipped. [Escobar]: A tough loss for Tucker and Kawaii, who fought an incredible fight but-- [Swayze]: OOOWW! [Escobar]: --but came up just short, thanks in part to another devious play by Alliyah Johnston -- [Swayze]: I thin is brohen!! [Escobar]: While, uh, Chad tries to find his jaw, we'll take another short commercial break, folks ... don't go away! ================================================================= WHEN LINE OF FIRE RETURNS: Dacia Blackthorne speaks out! COMMERCIALS: It's as if all the fun of your children's favorite game was doubled -- the Pentium II processor, Intel Inside ... Yes, you KNOW it's not his mother, but watch PSYCHO anyways ... Subscribe to Playboy today and get, uh, *some* video free (hey, they all look alike anyhow) ... ================================================================= [Escobar] Welcome back, fans! In just a few moments, we'll be hearing from the ever-outspoken women's superstar, "Ringmaster" Dacia Blackthorne, as she visits us here tonight ... we already have Chad Duncan standing by in the Sniper's Nest, so let's-- uh-oh. {John "Aslyum" Smith makes his way down to ringside. With his usual half blue/half black hair and black glove, he's wearing a "War Machine" blueprint-style t-shirt, jeans, sneakers, and carrying a bouquet of flowers. Slapping hands along the way with some of the braver fans, he finally reaches the announcers table.} [Escobar] Uh ... hello, Mr. Smith ... this is an ... unexpected surprise ... [John] Hey guys, how's everyone doing today? [Swayze] Frosted, like always, Asylum -- I do get to call you "Asylum", right? Right ... so, like, what's with the major FTD-age? [John] {blinks} Huh? [Escobar] He means, why are you carrying flowers? [John] Oh, sorry, they aren't for you .. but if you want I can get you guys some autographed pictures of me and Mike -- well, I can sign them anyway. Mike still doesn't really like being a good guy as much as I do, but he's getting there, honest. Anyway, these flowers are for Dacia Blackthorne. [Escobar] For ... Dacia? [John] You guys didn't see her last week? You know, she had her face painted half black, half blue? {puts the flowers down on the table and gestures to first one side of his head, then the other} I think she likes me. [Marone] Wow, you're righ! Man, you are SO much quicker than me on that. [Swayze] {under breath} Well, THAT goes without saying ... [John] I was as surprised as you guys ... but she is a nice girl. {stops to think} Hey, maybe we can double date with Mike and Susan O'Malley. Anyway, I get kinda tongue tied around girls, so if you folks can give Dacia these flowers, and tell her they're from me, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks. [Escobar] {slowly} Well, I suppose that would be possible, but this almost seems unnecessary ... I mean, to be honest, Dacia's due to be in the building any moment now ... Chad? >>SNIPER'S NEST<< [Chad Duncan] That's right, Justin -- tonight we hope to have a chance to look into what seems to be a very curious turn of events that has confused not only me, but most of the fans as well. I guess the best way to get to the bottom of this is the direct route -- ladies and gentlemen I give to you "The Ringmaster" Dacia BLACKTHORNE!!! {The crowd gives an optimistic pop as "Uninvited" slowly creeps in over the PA system and the lights dim as spotlights illuminate the entrance of aisleway. After about a minute of music and no Dacia Blackthorne, the crowd dies down to a low murmur. Then the crowd begans to swell as a lone spotlight picks up Blackthorne making her way *thru* the crowd towards the Nest. Dacia is wearing black jeans, a sleeveless black t-shirt with a rose on the front, and the same blue and black face paint design from a week ago.} [Asylum]: {audible over the announcer's microphones} Oh, man ... quick, what do I do? [Marone]: Um -- don't wear red? {Blackthorne finally reaches The Sniper's Nest and walks up the steps to greet Chad Duncan. Chad extends his hand as usual with a smile, but Blackthorne merely looks at his hand for a moment and turns to the camera.} [Chad Duncan] Ah, okay then {dropping his hand} ... let's get to the point. My first question to you is how have you been in your time off and where exactly have you been? {Dacia takes the mic from Chad and turns her back to him.} [Blackthorne] {sighs} You know Chad love I don't have any problem with you. Unfortunately you have to work for the very people I'm growing to despise so I'll give you a chance that nobody else in the AWI will get. Walk away. Now, Chad, because I really don't want to hurt you. You're the one person who hasn't stabbed me in the back. For that I'm grateful, but you need to leave now. {Chad walks up to Dacia, looking to say something, but she gives him a mean look and a stiff shove, sending Chad staggering back on the platform ... he thinks the better of it, and makes a bewildered exit ...} [Escobar]: She -- I don't understand this new aggressive change in Dacia's behavior, but THAT was certainly uncalled for ... [Marone]: Hey, maybe Dacia has a twin sister ... and SHE'S the nice girl? Don't lose hope, John. [Blackthorne] You know, when I came here tonight I didn't know what to expect from all of you. I din't know if you would boo me or cheer me, or just be totally indifferent to me since my departue. Well, for those of you who cheered and those of you who booed ... I'm used to it. To those of you who were silent ... thank you. It lets me know that you're just as confused as I am. Why? Because right now I'm not sure I really give a damn any more. {As Dacia finishes this speech, quite a few of the fans make up their minds on the issue, and a smattering of low boos can be heard. Upon entering the ring Dacia walks to the center of the ring and motions for the crowd to hold on a minute.} [Blackthorne] You know before you start spitting on my name and booing me with your last breath, why don't you just hold on for a minute and hear me out? Now I didn't come here tonight to play badgirl and rant and whine. I came here tonight to address all of the crap that's been going on in the AWI since I got here in the Women's Division. [Chad]: Uh, that would be the "ranting and whining" part, sister. [Blackthorne] It seems to me that for one reason or another I can't seem to get the attention of anybody in the front offices to speak my piece. Well tonight I'm here to speak my piece in front of the world. From that brawl at Union III with Tiger Z, Melissa Wright, Susan O'Malley, Firestorm, and Dream Succubus, to the latest crock of {beep} at International Incident in Canada. And now the biggest crock of all, this Danse Overture with a bunch of losers, has-beens, wannabes, and low lifes who don't deserve to step into the same arena as me. You call Alliyah Johnston, Talia Yamahara, and Tiger Z championship material? Well do ya?!? [Chad]: Lessee -- Tiger Z's been a champion before ... and Haggis-head here hasn't ... yeah, that'd be a big 'yes'. [Escobar]: In her defense -- and I can't believe I'm saying this -- but Dacia /did/ give Tiger Z quite a match when she challenged her for the belt. {A swell of supportive cheers begins to mix with the boos -- the forces of Checkmate have won no friends in *this* crowd.} [Blackthorne] And what about Jessica Perkins? God knows I've beaten every member of Team Stevens that ever set foot in the ring with me, but she gets a ticket to the Danse? How fair is that? And then we throw in Dorothy Gayle and Colt Kawaii. Dorothy ya beat me once so I tip my hat to ya, but Colt dear girl you haven't gotten out of your diapers yet so I don't see how you get put in front of me either! {The cheer support begins to die off a bit, as Colt HAS won some friends with this crowd.} [Asylum]: Um ... I don't think this was such a good idea ... you think I could get a refund on these? [Blackthorne] And this ladies and gentlemen is your Danse Overture? Somebody tell me what the hell is wrong with this picture!!! [Swayze]: I'm looking at the picture on the monitor here ... and I'd say ... "You're in it". {Dacia starts pacing back and forth in the ring as she is getting visibly upset.} [Blackthorne] Tiger Z, I beat you to within and inch of your life and you got saved by your slutty pal Melissa ... Perkins you ate it one-two- three in the middle of the ring ... Alliyah Johnston you're so damned scared of me that you sacrificed "Kool" Kitty Taylor at International Incident and now she's run off to hide in a corner somewhere ... our former, and I repeat FORMER, champion was so scared to face me one on one that she jumped ship and is no longer employed by the AWI! [Swayze]: HEY! That is a blatant lie! I have it on good authority that Sarah Victory left this league due to ... dare I say the words ... a broken heart! Yes, my main man is too cool to be ruled, and she just couldn't swing it -- he's the wind, baby! [Marone]: I have no idea what you just said. [Blackthorne] Boys and girls, I hate to be a {mock gasp} camera hog -- but I don't think I have much of a choice tonight. With that being said, I'm not leavng this ring until somebody can come out and explain it to me clear as a bell, what the hell the problem is-- {Without warning, the lights in the arena go out, replaced with a dim red illumination ... Dacia looks around confused for a moment, turning around just in time to catch a blur of motion from the ringside, camoflaged by the scarlet light.} [Escobar]: This is highly irregula-- MADRE DIOS! It-- it's that mystery woman again! She just BLASTED Dacia across the face with a steel chair! [Swayze]: Eh, what's she got to complain about? At least she's not getting stabbed in the BACK! {chuckles} {The lights flicker again, returning to their normal white, and the attacker can be clearly seen -- a tall-looking woman dressed from head to toe in a candy-red spandex bodysuit with white trim, red leather gloves and calf boots with thick heels, and a "Hayabusa" style face mask that covers all but her hair; she smacks Dacia a couple more times over the back with the chair, before stepping back a moment as if evaluating her handiwork.} [Swayze]: Hey, Dacia, is that clear enough? The PROBLEM is, you're BUS-ted! [Escobar]: I can't believe you -- even if I can't approve of Dacia Blackthorne's obvious and uncalled-for loss of temper here tonight, I could never condone this kind of action ... this is just /atrocious/ ... {The Lady in Red drops the chair, and pulls Dacia up to a reasonable facsimile of standing, before scooping her up on her shoulders for an Argentinian backbreaker rack.} [Escobar]: Deja vu for Dacia, as the Lady in Red subjects her once more to-- [Swayze]: --to the CHILD'S PLAY, Escobo! Skip it or buy it, but don't EVER deny it, because you know it's the truth, bay-bee! {After a long moment, the Lady in Red lets Dacia slide to the mat, and steps out of the ring. As she does, Asylum Smith finally approaches the ring, still carrying the flowers. He looks at Dacia, then at the Lady in Red, then back at Dacia; finally, he holds out the flowers to her. The Lady in Red takes the flowers in one hand after a long moment, then mimes a kiss on her free glove, patting John on the cheek, before walking out to a majorly negative crowd reaction.} [Escobar]: {muttering} So much for his heroic restart ... let's go to this message ... ================================================================= {The screen fades to a cemetary scene, bathed in full moon light and howling wind ... the camera pans to a bare headstone, which begins to develop engraving that burns from within: DANSE MACABRE Who will steal the Devil's Deal? As the words are fully burned into the stone, an inhuman-sounding scream is heard, and the camera view turns down into the open "grave", which seems to be a bottomless pit with fire welling up from below; the camera view descends at an accelerating pace, until it is engulfed in the "flames", that disperse to show Chad Duncan sitting at a studio desk, with the "Danse Macabre" logo on the front.} : Danse Macabre Update [Duncan] Hey, everyone, it's time to take a look at this spectacular supercard that Allied Wrestling International is bringing to YOUR house soon ... {A graphic fills the background behind him, showing on the left Steve the Insane and Joe Walker; on the right, Jillian Bole and Kim "Tiger" Lee.} [Duncan] To begin with, the creepy confines of Fenway Park stadium looks ready to become a virtual warzone between THESE men -- the teams known as Looking for a Fight and Perfection. The combination of Bole and Lee feel that they've had their honor smeared by the roughhouse rebels of the AWI, and they want to prove once and for all that they ARE the Perfect Tag Team; Steve and Joe are not only determined to show up Perfection and prove themselves the better tag team, but also most likely want to get in a few licks for various disparaging comments Perfection has made regarding Steve's relationship with womens' superstar Angela Dante. So to settle the issue, these teams will meet not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES in one night, in three different matches! Match #1 has been selected by the members of Perfection, and will be a Boxer vs. Wrestler match -- no doubt reflecting Jil and Kim's view of Looking for a Fight's wrestling talents relative to themselves. Match #2, on the other hand, selected by Steve and Joe, will be a FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE match, with NO DISQUALIFICATIONS -- this promises to be a BRUTAL bout, and I have no doubt that despite their pretensions, Perfection will adapt quite fast to this level of violence! And for match #3, selected by ... YOU! Yes, for this third bout, Allied Wrestling International is opening up the Sniper-Line for YOUR vote ... just call 1-900-TALK-AWI, and tell us what YOU want to see! Remember, calls cost twenty-five cents a minute, and children under eighteen must have their parent's permission before calling ... get YOUR two cents in right now! {The graphic changes to show Jerry Straite and Kerry Masters on the right side, and a typically smug Toshiaki Hasegawa and intense Tank Bradley on the left, both holding their North American Tag Team belts.} [Duncan] And that's not the limit for tag team action ... tension is still building between the AWI Mouths, North and South, and the representatives of Team Stevens, in preparation for the night when Jerry Straite and Kerry Masters challenge Agony & Ecstasy for their North American Tag Team championship titles ... given what we've seen so far from these men, you can only IMAGINE what's going to happen when they actually enter the ring! But let's not forget, as Stefan Schriber might call it, the piece de resistance -- the Danse itself! At least SIXTEEN AWI superstars will enter the first of four adjacent rings, and commence with a no-holds-barred slugfest ... as each man gets pinned or forced to submit, the man responsible will advance to the NEXT ring, in this unique tournament-in-the-round ... until finally only TWO men are left in the fourth and final ring, and only ONE will walk away the winner! And WHAT a win it will be -- a special "Devil's Deal" contract from the AWI ... ANY match the wrestler wants to be involved in, with ANY stipulations, mandated and sanctioned by Commissioner Jamahn Hugo Chamberlin himself! {The background becomes a pixellating series of portraits, matching Duncan's words.} These men have accepted the challenge: "Way Cool Junior" Corey Bonham ... D.A. Bookthrower ... the "Wrestling Expert" Ed Carr ... his protege, "Tsunami" Scott Deda ... newcomer Smith Durbin ... the colossal "War Machine" Greg Gardner ... both members of the Honor Guard, Rich Greenspear and Sam Richards ... the Master of the Northern Lights Suplex himself, Maurice Jackson ... the "Right On" Reverend Jeremiah James ... "Zap" London, of the Chaos Brothers ... "Dragonfire" Kien Lun ... Jayson "Fury" Michaels, one half of Intensity ... fittingly enough, the eternal Halloweener, the "Scarecrow" Dominic Nightshade ... Oracle ... and the recently dethroned Television champion, Robbie Stevens! {The background fades once more, becoming a picture of Ken Mischief, holding up his World Championship.} [Duncan] Previous press releases specified that AWI World Champion Ken Mischief would, in fact, be defending his title at this event ... and now, as we've seen tonight, we know that defense will be against THIS man ... {The background shifts to show Justice, as he appeared snatching the contract from James earlier.} [Duncan] ... JUSTICE! This has been a moment long awaited by many AWI fans -- wrestling's own vigilante spirit finally ascending to a World championship match! This is going to be a hot contest, folks! Tickets to see this event LIVE at Fenway Park are almost NONEXISTENT by now -- skip the scalpers, pass on the plane tickets, but make sure YOU don't miss out on this night, by ordering DANSE MACABRE on pay-per-view! Contact your local cable company or satellite provider now! {The screen fades to a shot of the Danse logo:} ----------------------------------------------------------------- 1 6 M E N . . . 4 R I N G S . . . 1 S U R V I V O R ----------------------------------------------------------------- _ _ __ __ | \ / | |\ |\ /_ \ /__/ Allied Wrestling ||\\ / | | \ || // \/ //_ International |||| /<> | ||\\ || \\__ | _> Presents ||// / _ | || \\|| \__\ \\__ | / / / \ | || \ | /\_// \__\ |/ \/ \| |/ \| \__/ _ _ __ __ __ __ __ __ | \ / | / \ /_ \ / \ / _\ / _\ /_ \ ||\\//|| / /\ \ // \/ / /\ \ || \\ || \\ // \/ || \/ || ||__|| || ||__|| ||_// ||_// ||_ || || | __ | || | __ | | _{ | _{ | _> || || || || || || || || \\ || \\ || || || || || \\_/\ || || ||_// || \\ \\_/\ \/ \/ \/ \/ \__/ \/ \/ \__/ \/ |/ \__/ ================================================================= W H O W I L L S T E A L T H E D E V I L ' S D E A L ? ----------------------------------------------------------------- O C T O B E R 3 0 B O S T O N, M A ================================================================= WHEN LINE OF FIRE RETURNS: Vorpal is served Justice! COMMERCIALS: Dial 10-10-220 for long distance calls, and a donation will be made automatically to help autistic children ... Get all 6 TV Guide Collector Issues this week, available at your local newstand: Steve Austin, Greg Gardner, Bill Goldberg, Hollywood Hogan, Looking 4 a Fight (upside down), or the Undertaker ... Xerox: more than just copiers ... ================================================================= {Open on Nick Vorpal in his dressing room. He is strutting around in front of his mirror.) [NV] Skip, dee doo, scat ska, shoop dee bop! WHOOOOO! MEAAAAAAAAAAAAN MOTHA BAD WOOOOOOOOORD, GENE! WHOOOO! Huh ... oh sorry ... caught me off guard there -- NEVER DO THAT AGAIN! Good, now that we have that settled {he pulls out a chair and reclines in it}. Let me tell ya something! Justice ... you big loveable lump of donkey droppings ... it is your time, my friend. Oh yes, it is. You see, you know how much I really, really, dislike your good friend Jerry? Well, today's your lucky day sucka, because I am gonna do something my psychiatrist says I shouldn't do. I am gona displace all my anger that I feel for him ... to you! Yes, you win the prize. And when I'm through with you, Justice, Jerry you're next ... I don't really care about winning ... as long as I make you crap yourself in your Depends, old man. {grabs bag of chips off of counter} Get ready America, cause WOW with Olene is comin' at ya! Explosive diarrhea for all! ================================================================= {Rod Allen is entering the center of the ring, mic in hand.} [Escobar]: That is a *seriously* disturbed man ... on behalf of the AWI, I'd like to apologize to any of those watching who may have been offended -- or BE offended by what Nick Vorpal does tonight ... [Swayze]: What? What? He's just doing product placement, Justino -- what, you don't think our sponsors want us to move product? Not to mention moving-- [Escobar]: That's enough, Chad. We have a match waiting ... [Allen] Our next contest is set for one fall, with a time limit of ten minutes ... introducing first, from the city of San Diego, California ... weighing in two-hundred eighty pounds ... accompanied to the ring tonight by his spiritual guide and moral compass, the Reverend Jeremiah James ... NICK VORPAL!!! {Red and orange lights flash over the arena, as a long piercing scream fills the air, which segues into "The Memory Remains" by Metallica; Vorpal and James appear at the aisle entrance, making their way to ringside, Vorpal's manic aspect in strong contrast with James's coldly determined expression.} [Allen] And his opponent tonight ... hailing from the badlands of Grand Forks, North Dakota ... weighing in at two-hundred fifty pounds ... {The video wall at the Sniper's Nest (and its opposite number on the other wall) flicker to life, showing a dark room with a man standing inside, facing to one side, with a faint light profiling him. People paying attention can identify him immediately, the rest have to wait till he talks ...} [Justice] So ... the Man of God holds in his hand the leash of a demon, a demon named Nicholas Vorpal. And now that demon hunts Justice. This night he will find Justice ... justice for those he's attacked, and hurt, since coming to the AWI ... and before. And once again ... Justice ... will be served ... {"It's a Mad, Mad World" by Tom Cochrane fills the speakers, and suddenly it's a mad, mad crowd, too, cheering wildly.} [Allen] Ladies and gentlemen ... THIS ... IS ... JUUUSTIIICE!!! {Justice walks through the curtain, and takes a moment to scan the cheering crowds with a expression of modest self-satisfaction before continuing down the aisle, sobering a bit as he fixes his gaze on the Reverend and his protoge.} [Allen] Your referee for this bout is Tom Newman. {The bell sounds just after Justice gets into the ring; he leans forward for a collar-elbow tieup, but Nick drops him to the mat with a legsweep. He begins stomping on Justice's knee; dragging Justice back up, he lifts him and delivers a kneebreaker.} [Escobar]: Nick Vorpal begins the match with an uncharacteristic level of focus ... perhaps a sign of the Reverend's discipline? [Marone]: As long as he's not focussing on that chips thing anymore. Yigh. {Sliding to the outside of the ring, he grabs Justice's leg and rams it into the corner post. He then tugs hard on the leg, trying to pull Justice outside, but Justice grabs the bottom rope and plants his foot in Vorpal's face.} [Escobar]: Nick Vorpal certainly seems to be doing his best to inflict serious harm on Justice's knee -- but Justice finds an out! [Swayze]: No, his /out/ would be to crawl out of the ring, admit to the Right-On Reverend that he made a mistake, tear up that contract, and beg to become a disciple! [Marone]: How do you get anywhere being a disciple? {Justice stands outside the ring, trying to rest; Vorpal hits him with a kidney punch, then grabs his arm, trying to whip him into the railing -- but Justice reverses the whip, sending Vorpal into the ring apron.} [Swayze]: Look at that brutality! This is the guy you people cheer for? You folks are SICK! [Escobar]: You can't honestly fault him for a purely defensive move. [Swayze]: Don't be sucked in, Escobo -- that was TOTALLY calculated! {Justice hiptosses the dazed Vorpal over the bottom rope back into the ring, and slides in after him; he applies a hammerlock.} [Escobar]: I think under the circumstances that Justice's actions were more than reasonable ... at least he's trying to keep the match INSIDE the ring, while it was Vorpal who took it outside ... [Swayze]: Yeahyeahyeah -- it was THAT kind of slacker doubletalk that got OJ off, bay-bee! {Justice pulls Vorpal back to his feet in the lock, then jumps up to throw him in a monkey flip from behind. Getting back up, Justice approaches the rising Vorpal, and leans down to scoop him up, but Vorpal cuts him short with a groin punch; standing up, Nick scoops up Justice for a bodyslam.} [Escobar]: Justice with a creative variation on a wrestling standby ... moves in to continue -- but Vorpal with a highly dubious blow -- [Swayze]: Nothing dubious about it. It was a groin shot. A creative variation on a wrestling standby. [Escobar]: Please -- and now Vorpal with the definite advantage ... [Marone]: An advantage of roughly 2 or 3 octaves, I'd say. {Dragging Justice back to his feet, Nick whips him into the corner. Reverend James steps onto the opposite corner and undoes the turnbuckle padding on that side, then hops down, calling over the referee.} [Escobar]: Now THIS is just obnoxious -- he's making the referee correct an "unfair ring condition" ... which HE instigated! [Swayze]: Hmm ... cause the problem, cause the solution. You gotta admit, the Reverend's a man who makes things happen. [Marone]: Yeah -- BAD things, man -- BAAAAD things. {As the referee is occupied refitting the padding, Vorpal picks up his chains from the corner, and slams Justice in the back of the neck with them; he then wraps them around Justice's neck, choking him.} [Escobar]: Nick Vorpal has a hold of his chains -- and he's GOING TO TOWN on Justice! This is a total travesty! [Swayze]: Not yet -- Justice is still conscious. But we can all hope. {Justice elbows free of the chokehold, takes a moment to regain his breath, then spins around and clotheslines Vorpal, who manages to keep his feet. Justice bounces off the near ropes and knocks him over with a dropkick.} [Escobar]: OLA! The spirit of Justice is completely unbreakable tonight! [Swayze]: Don't SAY things like that! Impressionable kids are listening -- they might stop TRYING! {Justice stands back up and stalks over to the rising Vorpal, quickly scooping him up and slamming him down sharply. He runs into the ropes as Vorpal staggers back to his feet; Nick catches him on the rebound, dropping him with a sidewalk slam.} [Escobar]: Justice asserting his own brand of order to the ring -- but Nick Vorpal still has something to say about that! [Marone]: Right -- like, "boom"! Which, I believe, is German for "wham!" [Swayze]: {singing again} Wake me up, before you kill Jus, I don't wanna miss his head falling off thus ... [Escobar]: {dryly} Don't give up your day job. [Marone]: HEY! THIS is his day job! What are you saying? [Escobar]: Perhaps I /have/ erred in advising. {Vorpal grabs Justice by the back of the neck on the mat, pulling him to his feet, then lifting him into the air one-handed before slamming him to the mat facefirst.} [Escobar]: BRRRUTAL chokeslam knocks the wind right out of Justice! [Swayze]: A cool and welcome breeze from the north! [Marone]: {singing} And the wind ... whispers ... Ow-ow-oww ... [Escobar]: Mike! [Marone]: Hey, HE seemed to be having fun ... {Vorpal lets Justice return to his feet, and wraps him into a front facelock, throwing an arm behind his neck. He screams "JERRY!!!" for a moment, before lifting up Justice.} [Escobar]: Nick Vorpal's face is a mask of madness right now, as ... I don't believe this -- I think he's going for the Straite Down! {Justice falls behind Vorpal, landing on his feet; Nick turns around in surprise, and Justice knocks him to the mat with a sacrifice clothesline.} [Escobar]: Justice is up in the air -- and he's down! And Vorpal is REALLY down! What a close call!!! [Swayze]: Yeah. We almost had fun. [Marone]: Did your Mom take you cactus-climbing as a kid or somethin? {Justice pulls Vorpal up with him, and spins around into a neckbreaker. Standing back up, he lets Vorpal stand before hefting Nick onto his shoulders for a fallaway slam.} [Escobar]: I think Nick Vorpal has made his own undoing -- Justice is a man on fire, and he's throwing every ounce of energy into Vorpal's punishment! [Marone]: Yeah, but check out the dude in the collar outside -- it's like he's watching a test pattern for all he cares. Creepy with a capital Cree, man. [Swayze]: That's because Vorpal doesn't TAKE punishment! All this effort on Justice's part is merely giving the Nick a light workout! {Justice drags Vorpal back up, and whips him into the ropes, rushing to the opposite side; both men bounce off, cross in the middle without incident, and rebound off the other side. As they meet again, Justice jumps forward into a sunset flip: 1 ... Nick claps his legs together to break free.} [Escobar]: Justice takes Vorpal to the mat, and this could be all ... but Nick Vorpal isn't throwing in the towel yet! [Marone]: He's not wearing a towel. {Vorpal connects with a punch below the belt as both men rise, and then whips Justice into the corner. He spins Justice around to face the outside, grabbing his head to toss him over, but Justice reaches behind him to grab Vorpal's head and drops to his knees for a jawbreaker. Vorpal seems to bounce back up to his feet, reeling, as Justice turns around, grabbing him by the neck and dropping him to the mat with a neckbreaker.} [Escobar]: CASTIGO! Justice continues his by-the-numbers dissection of Reverend James's brutish disciple ... but James seems completely undisturbed ... [Swayze]: Hey, that ought to really worry Justice. I mean, this guy is on a person-to-person line with the Big Man Upstairs, bay-bee -- if he's not worried, you bet you've got trouble on the way! {Justice grabs Nick's legs and cinches them in preparation for the Boston crab, but Nick leans forward with a gut punch. He gets back to his feet, turns around, and diamond cutters Justice, then makes a cover.} [Escobar]: Justice is ready to end this match ... but Vorpal takes a cheap shot -- and cuts him down to size with the Vorpal Blade!!! This could be it -- but Justice is up! {Justice throws Nick off, and Vorpal takes out his frustration with a headbutt, then drags Justice out of the ring. He sets up Justice for a powerbomb attempt; Justice backdrops him to escape.} [Escobar]: Vorpal returns to his native lands, the comfort of concrete and foreign objects galore ... and Justice nearly averts disaster! [Marone]: Jeez, that Rev is STILL just sorta starin' at it all ... can't he yell or something? I mean, he's really creepin' me out here! {Justice picks Nick back up and slams a forearm into his midsection, then rolls him back into the ring. He slowly gets back onto the apron, then steps into the ring.} [Escobar]: Justice obviously taking a small breather now while Nick Vorpal is down ... {Justice grabs Vorpal on the mat in a lying front facelock.} [Swayze]: Justino, you are looking at a man who is out of tricks ... he's holding a rabid dog by the collar, and he knows he's a dead man if he lets go, but his arms are gettin' sooooo tired ... any second now, it's gonna be Cujo 2: Justice Bites the Dust! {Justice works his way back to his feet, carrying Nick with him; he sets up Nick for a suplex attempt, but Nick blocks it with a leg, then lifts up Justice -- and drops him back to the mat in a piledriver position instead of suplexing him.} [Escobar]: He got it this time! Nick Vorpal using Jerry Straite's signature weapon, as if to taunt the man whose rivalry with him drew him to the AWI like a magnet! [Swayze]: Hey, Nick, buddy, pal -- humiliating Straite is a noble and worthy cause, sure, but try to keep your mind on your CURRENT opponent ... >>RINGSIDE<< {Reverend James is setting up a steel chair, looking into the ring as if giving silent instructions to his protege. Nick and Justice come into view next to the ropes, and Justice gets slammed over the top rope.} [Escobar]: Oh, NO! Justice takes the long ride down to the mat, and Reverend James appears to have prepared a sinister altar for his sacrifice! [Marone]: And he's got a steel chair out there to boot! [Swayze]: Didn't you cover metaphors in high school, Mike-o? [Marone]: Nah, I slept through biology. {Nick sets up Justice for a piledriver, but Justice counters with a single leg takedown, then smoothly grabs his other leg and rolls Nick over for the Boston Crab.} [Escobar]: I think Nick wants to put Justice down for good-- [Swayze]: Hey, who WOULDN'T? [Escobar]: ... Justice seems to have saved himself for now -- AND HE FIXES THE SUMMONS!!! NICK VORPAL IS TRAPPED! [Marone]: Yeah, now he's locked up this match! Only ... uh ... he can't win out here, can he? [Escobar]: No, I'm afraid he can't -- no matter how much Nick Vorpal might be willing to, he simply can't submit on the outside of the ring ... and of course, referee Tom Newman is continuing his count on both men -- Justice may VERY well be throwing this match away! {Reverend James closes behind Justice.} [Marone]: Uh-oh -- this is not good ... [Escobar]: Justice may very well be saved from a countout by an ambush ... but ... for the moment, Reverend James seems content to just WATCH these events unfold -- what IS he up to? [Swayze]: Read between the lines, Escobo! THIS is the reason for the whole match! Nick Vorpal is sacrificing himself to put one more splinter into Justice's Cross of Burdens -- this is one step closer to Reverend James's holy weapon of terror, just like he said in the sermon! No mercy, no emotion, just PAIN, bay-bee! {James backs away, and finally, Justice relents, releasing Vorpal from the hold. He rolls Nick into the ring and follows after.} [Escobar]: Close count for both men, but the match will continue now ... {He rushes into the ropes as Nick staggers back to his feet; Vorpal manages enough strength to catch him with a powerslam on the return.} [Escobar]: And Vorpal AGAIN showing why he must ALWAYS be considered one of the most dangerous men in the AWI ... Justice really had a lot taken out of him with that move. [Marone]: Yeah, and when you have a lot of THAT taken out of you, you don't just pick up more at the five and dime. {Nick pulls up Justice, and steps in front of him, beginning to hook his arms with Justice's in preparation for his reverse crucifix powerbomb; Justice regains his senses in time to counter by wrapping Nick into a sleeperhold.} [Marone]: Hey, this is a good chance for Nick to practice his prayers. You know: "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray to James my chains to keep ..." [Swayze]: I do NOT know you. [Marone]: Promise? [Escobar]: You may have to teach me that prayer. {Nick flails wildly for a few moments, eventually falling to his knees; he throws an elbow backwards to hit Justice below the belt, causing Justice to double over. Nick stands back up, turns around, and cinches Justice in preparation for a powerbomb; Justice grabs his legs and stands up, dropping him down in a hard fallaway slam.} [Escobar]: Nick prepares Justice for the big bomb -- but WHAT a reversal of fortune! You could feel that out here in the stands, aficianados! {Justice stands back up and grabs Nick Vorpal's legs, rolling him over into the Boston crab again.} [Escobar]: And once more, THE SUMMONS! Nick Vorpal doesn't look like he's in any condition to continue, especially given the punishment he suffered outside the ring in this same hold -- and Tom Newman agrees! He's signalling to the timekeeper! [Rod Allen] Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this bout ... JUSTICE!!! [Escobar]: The crowd is enthralled, as Justice releases Nick -- and he shares a long glance from Reverend James, who still does not seem discontent with this outcome ... Justice will walk away tonight with a win, but one must wonder, at what cost? TIME: 8:12 [Marone]: Justice seems more upset with the win than James with his man's loss ... even Vorpal doesn't seem all that unhappy ... Justin, when did we cross over into the Twilight Zone? [Escobar]: I'm not sure, but you'll have to figure that out while we go to commercial. ================================================================= WHEN LINE OF FIRE RETURNS: Our main event! COMMERCIALS: {Camera cuts to the AWI locker rooms, where Larry Walker (of the Colorado Rockies) stands, wearing his uniform with a "Looking 4 A Fight" T-shirt slipped over it.} [Larry Walker] {speaking sort of stiltedly} Hey, everybody ... I'm Joe Walker, and I'm, uh, looking for a fight ... {At this point, Joe Walker enters the camera view, stopping to look at Larry; he pauses, then begins circling around behind him with a somewhat confused expression.} [Larry] I want to invite all you great wrestling fans to watch me and the other superstars of the AWI, here on Line of Fire, every Friday night on CBS ... {stops to look at Joe} What? {Screen cuts to a black panel with the AWI logo.} : There's Just No Substitute {Cut back to Joe and Larry.} [Larry] What? {muttering} Hey, you wear OUR uniforms ... don't hear me complaining ... ================================================================= {The camera shows the locker room area; Toshiaki Hasegawa, well-dressed as always in a tailored suit, makes his way toward his dressing room as Paul Stone steps into view.} [Paul Stone] Toshiaki -- Mr. Hasegawa -- any comments regarding your North American title shot later tonight? {Hasegawa stops, looks Stone over, then shakes his head in disbelief. Putting his bag down, he takes out his wallet, removes a $50 bill, and gives it to Paul.} [Toshiaki Hasegawa] I've talked enough to Chad Duncan, I would have hoped it would spread around. I'm willing to help you out here -- take this money, and please, get yourself something /DECENT/ to wear for once. If you're going to interview me, you've gotta look good ... and you're nowhere close. {Paul starts to say something, pauses, then puts the money in his pocket.} [Hasegawa] Anyway, you wanna know if I have comments on my match tonight with Grandpa Jerry. Sure, anything for my fans, since I am such a nice guy. Straite -- nothing personal. See, like any nice guy, I respect my elders, even when they go senile. So, I'll make this as painless as possible for you Jerry -- but respect or not, that belt is gonna be mine. After all, who is a better representative of North America -- a young, ambitious, upstanding, finely dressed individual like myself, or some old, past his prime, loudmouthed, not very good in the first place, cheapshotting, senile, camerahog? Worse than all that, he's /CANADIAN/ {gets a look of disgust on his face}! Tell me one good thing that's ever come from Canada, Paul. {Paul opens his mouth to say something, but Toshiaki interrupts him quickly} [Hasegawa] That's what I thought. So, Jerry, like I said, nothing personal, but I gotta do it for the fans. From the looks of them they need some role model in their lives, and who better than a representative of Team Stevens. [Stone] {muttering} Let it go, let it go ... {aloud} So, Mr. Hasegawa -- are you worried about the possibility of Kerry masters being at ringside? I mean, after what you did the other week-- [Joey] {interrupting again} Who? That sideshow attraction? The way I embarrassed him last week, there's no way he's gonna show up. Even if he does try to steal my spotlight -- since there's no way he can get it on his own -- now, Paul, given the choice, who would you rather watch: some clown like Masters, or the Fashion Plate of the AWI? {Hasegawa picks up his bag and enters the dressing room, closing the door before Stone can follow.} ================================================================= {Rod Allen steps into the center of the ring.} [Allen] Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for our MAIN EVENT ... this contest is set for one fall, with a limit of television time remaining -- and it is for the NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPIONSHIP! {The growing excitement in the arena is audible.} [Allen] The challenger comes direct from the fashion runways of Milan ... weighing in at two-hundred twenty-five pounds ... accompanied to the ring tonight by his manager, Robbie Stevens, he is one half of the North American TAG TEAM champions ... TOSHIAKI HASEGAWA! {"You're So Vain" by Faster Pussycat rings in the PA system, as Toshiaki comes strutting down the aisle, flanked by Robbie and Tank Bradley ... as he gets about halfway down the aisle, the PA cuts unexpectedly to "Here on Earth" by the Crash Test Dummies, and Jerry Straite rushes out from behind the curtain at a slow jog, carrying a big wooden bench (probably direct from the lockers) with him.} [Swayze]: OhgodohgodlookoutLOOKOUTMAN!!! [Escobar]: Jerry Straite apparently thinks he is LITERALLY a man who needs no introduction -- because he CERTAINLY isn't waiting for one!!! {The Team Stevens members turn around, warned by the music switch, but not in time to avoid getting slammed crosswise by the bench and bowled to the concrete. Jerry brings the bench down overhead onto Robbie, then grabs Hasegawa and bodyslams him onto the bench (and thus the bench onto Robbie).} [Escobar]: Jerry Straite is simply ignited with rage tonight, and he's taking it out on anyone he can find -- anyone associated with Robbie, that is! [Swayze]: Um ... you know ... I think I've got some calls to make ... yeah, that's it ... {shuffling and thumping noises are heard} [Marone]: Hey, get out from under there! My feet are cramped! {Jerry drags Hasegawa back to his feet, and whips him into the ring railing. Hasegawa drops to his knees, clutching his back, but manages to drop toehold Jerry onto the same railing as Straite closes in. Staggering to his feet, he dropkicks Jerry away from the aisle towards the ring.} [Escobar]: Jerry doing his best to BRUTALIZE the self- proclaimed Fashion Plate ... but Toshiaki gets at least a momentary offensive in ... Tank Bradley's back on his feet, it seems, and this could get ugly -- BUT HERE COMES KERRY MASTERS!!! {Tank is getting up, and starts to trudge after Hasegawa and Jerry, but Kerry charges down the aisle and knocks down Tank with a jumping leg lariat to the back of the head.} [Marone]: This isn't good, man, not good at all -- Jerry could usually kick my tail nine ways to Sunday if he kept his wits, but now he's as bad as Underdog down there -- he looks like he's just out to hurt somebody! And Kerry doesn't really seem to mind ... [Escobar]: Kerry seems assigned to damage control tonight, as he drags Tank further back down the aisle -- this is an absolute BRAWL! [Swayze]: {muffled} It's not coming this way, is it? {Hasegawa pushes Jerry into the ring, and the timekeeper rings the bell.} [Marone]: Noooo, Justin -- right there, it just became a *match*. {Toshiaki climbs the apron, grabs the top rope, and slings himself over Jerry for a sunset flip.} [Escobar]: And a FAST match it may be at that -- but Jerry claps out with a two count! [Swayze]: {back to normal} Only because the referee's giving Straite a count as slow as Jerry's driving! [Escobar]: And Orpheus returns from the underworld, I see. [Swayze]: Only as long as Jerry stays over there. {Jerry rolls to his knees, and punches Hasegawa, who responds with a groin kick; he then neckbreakers the reeling Jerry, and locks on a stepover toehold.} [Escobar]: Despite his battered condition, Hasegawa is still keeping enough focus to start softening Jerry for the Fashion Victim ... [Marone]: Look back down the aisle, man -- Kerry and Tank are STILL trading punches and kicks! [Escobar]: We seem to have ourselves a preview of the North American tag title matchup at the Danse. {Jerry pushes his way free of the hold, and Toshiaki stands straight, stomping on the leg joint. Jerry gets back up, and Toshiaki whips him into the ropes, bouncing off the other side to meet him in the middle with a hipcheck.} [Escobar]: Hasegawa has done his best to burn off the fire that fueled Jerry in the opening moments of this conflict ... and there's the BOOTY CALL! Jerry might be completely off his game right now! [Marone]: I think Jerry's completely off his ROCKER right now, Justin ... and coming from ME, I guess that's saying a lot, huh? {Toshiaki drops to one knee to choke Jerry on the ground. He lets the referee get close to a five-count before releasing; Jerry staggers to his knees as Toshiaki accepts his due warning, and manages to catch Toshiaki with a series of punches to block off further offense. Straite stands up straight, and headbutts Hasegawa, then whips him to the ropes, rushing directly after him to clothesline him over the top rope.} [Escobar]: Jerry Straite back on his feet -- and back in control, it seems! He's got Toshiaki stunned -- and OVER THE TOP!!! {Jerry rolls under the ropes after a moment, dragging Hasegawa back to his feet before scooping him up and bodyslamming him across the ring railing.} [Escobar]: CASTIGO! Jerry isn't trying to *defeat* Toshiaki -- he's looking to DESTROY him! We've gone from a match to a massacre -- and it looks no better on the south side ... {Camera cuts for a moment to show Kerry brawling with Bradley *in* the stands; he gets a momentary advantage, and dropkicks Bradley off the seats.} [Marone]: Did we pick up Goody's Powder as a sponsor? This might be more of that "moving product" thingie Chad was going on about. [Swayze]: Looks like it's time for Roadhouse to do some bouncin' ... {thump} [Escobar]: Oh, no -- as if things weren't out of control already ... {Jerry reaches across the railing to grab a chair, but Hasegawa punches him between the legs and takes the chair; he stands it up on the floor, then pulls over Jerry, bending down to pick him up -- Jerry blocks him, though, then scoops him up and bodyslams him onto the chair.} [Escobar]: Jerry and Joey fighting over control of that chair now ... Joey has it at last, he picks up -- NO, Jerry with a reversal, and Hasegawa goes down hard onto the chair! [Marone]: He's not the only one who went down hard -- you just missed a great thrust kick from Kerry to Chad ... [Escobar]: Aren't you watching the match? [Marone]: It's tough missing out on Joey getting beat up, but you have to go with the two-for-one deal when it comes to Team Stevens. [Escobar]: I just heard the ring bell sound -- the timekeeper is signalling an end to this match ... {Jerry pulls up Toshiaki, lifts him into a vertical suplex, then lets him fall into a piledriver position onto the chair.} [Escobar]: CASTIGO!!! STRAITE DOWN right on top of that broken metal chair!!! Toshiaki Hasegawa will be lucky to escape without a concussion or worse! And -- graci -- the stadium security is here now to impart SOME semblance of order to this situation ... TIME: 2:03 >>PRESSBOX<< [Escobar] This is just *unbelievable* ... when Kerry Masters and Jerry Straite first announced their challenge to Agony & Ecstasy's North American Tag Team championship for the Danse Macabre, we all expected a great match -- but I don't think anyone could have predicted the absolutely *colossal* animosity that's developing between these two pairings! [Marone] Oh, I think Roadhouse could ... well, at least, he'd SAY he predicted it ... maybe get Robbie to fake up a tape of him saying it. Also him saying "Yo quiero Taco Bell", so he can run for president. [Escobar] That's about it for this edition of Line of Fire, folks ... we'll leave you with some words from the equally violent, equally disturbing -- and disturbed -- new competitor here in the AWI: the "Scarecrow" Dominic Nightshade. This is Justin Escobar, with Mike Marone and the currently absent Chad Swayze, bidding you all good night! ================================================================= {The scene opens on a broken down barn in the middle of an overgrown sea of dead weeds. The steadi-cam moves around to one side, where a large rough-hewn table stands in front of a raggedy scarecrow. A large jack-o-lantern rests upon the table, next to a tiny little pumpkin made up to look like some kind of bug with pipe cleaner "legs" and "antennae", plus plastic rattley eyes. The camera closes and holds on the jack-o-lantern. A stiff breeze can be heard stirring the weeds, and it causes the candle in the big pumpkin to flicker. Suddenly, something slashes off the top half of the jack-o-lantern, and we see the Scarecrow's black-painted face looming directly behind the ruined pumpkin. Miraculously, the candle still burns within.} [Dominic Nightshade] Steven ... your time is coming. Soon the name of Steve the Inane will be nothing more than a gray wisp of memory, like smoke from a candle -- because when we meet in the ring, I am going to snuff ... you... out. {The Scarecrow leans over the candle and blows it out, watching the smoke drift on the wind for a moment.} And Walker? {The camera pulls back a bit, and The Scarecrow moves over to look down upon the absurd little pumpkin-bug.} [Nightshade] Evidently I underestimated your ability to withstand being crushed into so much pulp ... a mistake I'll not make twice. You're just a bigger cockroach than I expected to step on, Walker, and next time ... {The Scarecrow leans down to pick up an incredibly large black work boot} ... I'll bring a bigger boot. {Gripping the boot by the toe, he brings the heel down hard on the little pumpkin, splattering pumpkin everywhere. The Scarecrow leans down close into the camera, blond hair and painted face dripping with pumpkin bits.} [Nightshade] *Trick or treat.* ================================================================= This work copyright © 1998 by Allied Sports Enterprises. Allied Wrestling International is a member of the Summit Wrestling Alliance; permission is given to distribute or rebroadcast AWI footage in cooperation with Summit Wrestling events. "CBS Eye" is a registered trademark of Columbia Broadcasting System, used without permission for purposes of parody; no actual association between the writers and CBS should be inferred. "Promotional" trademarks likewise used without permission or affiliation for purposes of parody. =================================================================