OK, seeing as it has been about four months since I've written one of these again, it's a good thing I can think of something to go off on. Here we go... First off, I don't think I mentioned this person at all before... but I have a girlfriend now... kinda. How does one "kinda" have a girlfriend, you probably wonder. Well, I would have wondered that myself... but you see, she is someone I work with, and this other guy we work with went and asked her on a date. I knew I was a bit attracted to her, but my reaction to her saying yes surprised even me. I was soooo disappointed. I went around the rest of that shift looking all depressed. She may have not even noticed, I'm not sure. Jasmin, however, did notice. She kept bugging me to tell her what was up. She finally got enough information out of me to know, and... well, I don't remember what happened then. So anyway, after this guy asked her out, she started coming to my house, too. When she learned that I was attracted to her also, she said "What?! Oh my god you have the most horrible timing." As a side note, I had been joking around w/ her for quite a while that she secretly was in love w/ me. She would say "Yeah, so secret that even I didn't know." But I did. Apparently I did before she did. Because, you see, she realized she was attracted to me after she found out I was attracted to her. Of course, I gave her hell for that one. :) Anyway, now here she was having to choose. I didn't pretend to be anything I wasn't... I was quite open about the Penguin Queen and such. She still couldn't decide. Eventually one night, she said "I think I've made a decision." I said "I win." She then said "Well, now I'm not so sure." The next night (I think), she told me that she chose me. Apparently, this meant we were together. I was not aware of this. I didn't want to cause useless stress on her by pointing out that I had never actually said I was sure I wanted this type of a relationship w/ her, when maybe I did. So, I kept quiet, until I came to the conclusion that there was no real reason not to be dating her, so she didn't have to worry.

Anyway, what I was going to go off about is this... the 15-year-old (20:12- OK, back from dinner break) has a friend who she insists would be the greatest person for me to hook up with. She tried to set us up before I had a girlfriend, but my friends knew the girl, and said she was totally not my type, liked to go party and drink... and apparently one of the people from Drama in high school told her that my main goal in life was to get into girls' pants. That was not only dissapointing because I thought that everyone in Drama at least wouldn't think that was what I wanted, but also because of who said it. I had always thought she was cool, really nice... and had thought she liked me. Anyway, her friend is staying with her at the house that she watches sometimes... so when I came there last night, she started trying to get us to hook up again... saying I should get rid of my current girlfriend. (Don't get me wrong, it's not that she doesn't like my girlfriend, she just thinks that her friend and I would make a much better couple.) So anyway, the problem here is that I hung out w/ the 15 year old and this friend of hers last night... and the number of times she said things about how we should hook up was incredible. You must realize one thing about me... if someone insists something like that long enough, it starts to work on me. So, yeah, last night, after the girl had gone to bed, the 15-year-old asked me what I thought of the friend. "I hate you," I said. "Why? Because you think it's a good idea?" No, not because I think it's a good idea, but that you've put this idea too seriously in my head. No making me think about it. I sense death that way. Yes, damn you, she's attractive. Yes, the fact that she likes 80s music is very appealing. But no, damn you. No no no. I have a girlfriend.

I've also been seriously debating moving out this summer. This may be a good idea... if I can find someone to live with who I could stand to live with. The Penguin Queen is away at school, the 15-year-old (who is almost 16 now) is too young to be counted as a main roommate, and Justin is going away to a university next year. The only person that left in my mind was my girlfriend, who will be 18 shortly, and wants to get out of her dad's appartment at that point. I think the 15-year-old has effectively talked me out of moving in w/ my girlfriend, unless we're just friends before we move to an appt. together. This is enough for now. (Yes, enough to drive me mad. Mad I tell you!...)

(4-12 20:33)

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