(some random amount of DP) Oh crap! I have to go off on so much now! This one otta (I can't even spell slang) be interesting... What if, you broke up w/ this really cool girl, asked her out again 2 weeks later, broke up w/ her 2 weeks later, saying you'd never go out with anyone till you were in college, cause you couldn't trust yourself...? What if then (or before that) you began messing around w/ another girl? Would you get pissed at yourself? What if you still messed around w/ the cool girl you broke up with? What if a third girl popped into the picture, and you had only known her for like 2 weeks?... Would you have a conversation like this?
V:so what'd you do today?
D:Studied, but not really. Thought about my situation...
V:ha ha... come to any conclusions?
D:SPC... But telling SAW is going to suck...
V:why do you have to choose one? your not going to date her are you?
D:I don't know if I will date her, but she and SAW are feeling used...
V:well why cant you just keep them as friends.... and not take it any farter than that?
D:Must be able to... Nevermind... I don't know...
V:well... is it cauz you dont think you can?
D:SPC will be my "good friend"... As long as there's only one, there's no problem...
V:and what the hell about SAW that youve known forever?
D:She'll still be my friend!
V:then why not just call her (SPC) your gf?
D:Cause... I DON'T F***ING KNOW!! Oh gosh... Doh! x-gf's phrase again...
V:which one?
D:Oh gosh
D:Like I told Ian, don't unmake my mind!
V:oh.... i think you should just be friends with both of them..... and your x-gf.. and never take it past that....
D:That would probably be the best idea... However...
V:yeah.. but can you just keep it at freindship??
D:Having to hurt 2 by doing this to them is bad enough... I can't do it to all 3
D:and no, probably not...
V:well then your screwed....... no matter what you do.. and no i dont mean that literally...
D:No, I think I can w/ my x-gf... And hopefully w/ SAW...
V:and tell them what? that they arent as important to you as someone you met less than a month ago?
D:AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! SHUT UP!!! My heart...
V:no..... i'm just making sure you realaize everything...
D:Shit... I know, I know... That's why I said it'd suck telling SAW
V:yeah.....
D:But our agreement way back when... That'll help me...
V:you know she's gonna be pissed.... and your x-gf? well she will just be crying for the next forever...
D:I already told her I won't go out with her anymore...
V:yeah.. but didnt you also tell her that you werent gonna see anyone??
D:"How come everything I say proves all your friends were right?" - Chalk Farm, "Lose You Now"
D:No.
V:LOL....
D:Although I probably implied it... hfdailewhl!
V:and i know you said it to me....
D:I said I wouldn't go out w/ anyone...
V:Well what's the difference?
D:Technicalities, I suppose... But it's DIFFERENT! I SWEAR!
V:yeah.. how is it different?
D:I, at least, wouldn't go as far
D:So there
D:That's how
V:well then why dump your x-gf and SAW?
D:Cause SAW and SPC are feeling used
V:why?!?
D:My "messing around"
V:if you guys are just friends..... where's the problem?
D:Yeah, but we do stuff...
V:ha ha ha.. messing around.. have you kissed either of them?
D:Not nearly -(kissed them? that's personal)- as much as if I was going out with them, but we do things...
V:yeah... what kind of "things"
D:Hugging... holding hands...
V:oooooooooooooooooo...... (i'm not impressed yet)
V:then i "mess around" with everyone......
D:"i don't think it's wise, to be idle when you're young. Oh I have to go.." - Chalk Farm, "Live Tomorrow"
D:Well, they still feel used
V:then you need to talk to them.....
D:Cause if I'm not w/ one, I'm w/ the other.
V:cauz they have no right to be... if you've told me everything then they are maybe being a little jelous??
D:It's not as casual as you're Drama flirting, dude...
D:And maybe I've done a bit more w/ SAW, but they don't even know what I do w/ the other...
D:It's just more serious than all that...
D:Cause they know I have strong feelings for them...
V:how strong is "strong"?
D:Oh s**t!
D:Impossible to explain, especially w/ SPC...
V:uh... ok......
D:"I will not run away, from the battle now, if it seems that's the way I'm fighting.." - Chalk Farm, "Lie On Lie"
D:"and I say, that you cannot force appreciation, lie on lie..."
D:Let's just say very strongly...
V:and you've only known her how long?!?
D:Little over 2 weeks...
D:Now you see?!
D:This is why I think there must be something here...
V:ooooo... 2 weeks... a great amout of time to really get to know someone....
D:Because we both feel like this already...
D:Oh shut up!
V:i'm only saying.....................
D:I know...
D:"i don't believe you see, I don't believe in me" - Chalk Farm, "Don't Believe"
D:I'm sweating for some reason...
V:ewwww....
D:"Reaching, out to no one who can give me help. Feeling, for the candle as I burn myself. If I falter, would you help me make it right? If I run for shelter, will you hold me for the night? If I trust you, will it help me see the light?" - Chalk Farm, "Lesson"
V:heh....
V:here's what you should do.. stay friends with all of them.. and stop feeling guily damnit.. you havent really "done" anything yet....
D:I tried to talk to SAW and SPC today, but they both called back while we were watching a movie
V:i go sleep now...
D:Night dude...
V:later...
D:If i'm like shaking tomorrow, you'll know why...
Wow, that was rather long... what if all this happened? What if you were dreading the next day at school? What if... you were falling asleep at the keyboard uwgsdak and your head hit it and typed random letters? (Oops...) I think I need to go to bed. Names have been coded to protect the innocent... however, I once again probably revealed too much... well, goodnight all... (4-12-98 23:37)
