MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000:
THE BASICS
Have you ever seen Myster Science Theater 3000? While I believe it was better
during its Comedy Central years, it is (or should I say "was") a very amusing television show.
Here is a brief synopsis:
Joel was a janitor at Gizmonics Institute who was shot into space on the Satellite
of Love by evil scientists Dr. Clayton Forrester and Dr. Lawrence Erhardt.
The evil scientists force Joel to watch cheesy movies in an attempt to find the Ultimate
Cheesy Movie for
the Ultimate Plan For Conquering Earth: Show Me a Planet Exposed to the Ultimate
Cheesy Movie and I Will Show You a Planet Ripe for the Conquering (SMPEUCMIWSYPRC).
- JOEL ROBINSON
- A laid back chappie who accepts the situation he is in. He created robots to help
him cope with his loneliness. Half way through the fifth season Joel escaped from the
Satellite of Love on an escape pod found in a box of hamdingers.
He is my favorite MST3K character.
"Hey, it's Speedy Delivery guy and does he got a package!"
- CROW T. ROBOT
- The robot with the silver tongue and master of the zinger. He is one of the bots
created by Joel. His interests include Kim Cattrall and Estelle Winwood. Crow wants
to decide who lives and who dies.
"Mother Theresa called, she hates you."
- TOM SERVO
- A stuck up, robust robot. Tommy was also created by Joel.
He is a marvelous singer
and a lover of the performance arts. He is not afraid to laugh and cry
over a cup of mild french blend while listening to Yanni. He wants to
be called Sugar Magnolia.
"Excuse me, there's a dog brain in my toilet."
Clockwise from top left:Gypsy, Joel, Tom & Crow
- GYPSY
- She is the lone lady robot built by Joel and is responsible
for running the Satellite of Love. In the begining Gypsy
had the brain capacity of a smallish loveseat.
Example:
- Joel: Gypsy what is 2 + 2?
- Gypsy: Richard Basehart.
Now Gypsy can put together whole sentences ever since her duties on the ship
were lightened.
"I would have taken my head and made a hat."
- MAGIC VOICE
- Magic voice performes the announcements on the Satellite of Love. Where is the voice
coming from? Maybe everybody is hopped up on weed and it's all
in their brain.
- MIKE NELSON
- Mike was a temp worker assigned to help the mad scientists
sort their junk in preparation of an audit. When Joel escaped from their
incompetent clutches, the Mads tempnapped Mike and sent him
into space. Mike is slightly sharper than Joel although he does
get dimmer with each passing season. He constantly searches
for an escape.
"If you're nice we'll hook you up to the milking machine."
Let us now meet the bad guys . . .
- DR. CLAYTON FORRESTER
- He is the mastermind behind the Show Me a Planet Exposed
to the Ultimate Cheesy Movie and I Will Show You a Planet Ripe
for the Conquering plan. He is also a man of goofy hair and
goofy glasses. He dies, don't ask me how.
"I'm your mother now, Frank."
- DR. LAWRENCE ERHARDT
- He was Dr. Forrester's first partner-in-cheese before he went missing
at the begining of the second season. He is tubby
and stupid.
- TV's FRANK
- Frank was hand-picked by Dr. Forrester fresh from Arby's.
He was Dr. Forrester's second assistant before he went to
heaven at the end of the sixth season. He is tubby
and stupid.
"Now even mom, dad and kids can enjoy a Chippendales dancer."
- PEARL FORRESTER
- Mother of Dr. Forrester, Pearl is tubby and
much more evil, in my mind, than her son. After Dr. Forrester
died she became the lead evil-doer.
Once MST3K moved to the Sci-Fi channel for their eighth season,
two, new main characters showed up: The Brain Guy and Prof.
Bobo. These two characters, along with Pearl barely make it out
of the one-dimensional catagory or into the originality
catagory. Some of the links delve further into these characters, but I will not.
SO LONG AND THANKS FOR ALL THE CHEESE!
- Dr. Erhardt--left after the first season--missing
- Joel--left mid-fifth season--escape pod, landed in Australia. Returns for one episode in season ten to foil Dr. Forrester's final evil plot.
- Frank--left after sixth season--went to heaven w/ angel Torgo, becomes a soultaker.
- Dr. Forrester-left before eighth season-dead
Main Page
Page One***************MST3K: The Basics
Page Two***************Movie Ecstacy
Page Three*************Toy Story: The Action Figure List
Page Four*************Who's Mr. Sexy? Peter Gabriel, what a guy!
Page Five*************Star Trek: The Neat-O Guide
Links to other sites on the Web
MST3K.ORG
Digital Archive Project
Mike Nelson's Web Site
Charlie's Guide to Your Cinematic Pleasure
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