Tears Of An Angel

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Disclaimer: Star Trek Voyager and its characters belong to Paramount, who spent years misusing them and not listening to the fans. Seven and Chakotay - come-on, give me a break. I purposely omitted Admiral Janeway telling Captain Janeway about Seven and Chakotay, she only told her that Seven died. This story assumes Captain Janeway didn't know about their relationship, which was a stupid idea anyway. No infringement is intended nor is any profit made from this story.

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Even though the hour was after midnight, a meeting was taking place on the fifteenth floor of Starfleet Headquarters. It was a high-level meeting headed by two of Starfleet’s most powerful admirals.

“We can’t let this happen and must do all in our power to stop it,” Admiral Alynna Necheyev

stated as she paced the floor in front of the small group gathered in her offices. “You know as well as I do that if this treaty is signed it will pose a danger to the very structure we struggle to uphold. “I have a plan……..”

Within an hour the meeting adjourned and Admiral Necheyev turned to Admiral Jos a’Han, the highest ranking native of the planet of Venegran in Starfleet, and smiled. "It looks like this just might work. Just think Jos, if we’re successful in this mission your planet will benefit immensely from just the trade alone, and I’ll finally get that promotion to Vice Admiral I’ve been after these past fourteen years.

“What about Voyager?” Jos a’Han questioned. “Now that she’s returned to Earth the Federation will use the good publicity to court the governmental leaders to sit for negotiations. The Federation and Starfleet are looking good to everyone at the moment because of Voyager’s return, and it’s made those governments that are part of the Federation feel proud to be part of an organization that can accomplish such a feat.”

“To hell with Voyager and with Captain Kathryn Janeway,” Necheyev practically screamed at Jos. “I’ll never forget how her father pushed me aside time after time when he was testing his prototypes – prototypes that I helped design by the way. He would always take her along for his test runs while I had to stay planetside as part of the monitoring team. When the test runs were successful everyone made a fuss over the ‘great Admiral Janeway’ and his brave little girl who plans to be an admiral, just like her father. Well, I got even with Edward Janeway. It’s just too bad I didn’t get his daughter as well.”

“Be careful Alynna. Janeway is Starfleet’s golden girl right now and you don’t want to make trouble,” Jos cautioned.

“We’ll see,” Necheyev whispered.

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

“We made it,” she whispered yet again to herself as she stepped onto the lift that would take her to Admiral Paris’ offices on the 12th floor of Starfleet Headquarters. She still couldn’t believe it and occasionally had to actually pinch herself so she would know that it was truly real. They had been home for five days and it still felt like a dream.

Some parts of her dream felt so good, while others were not so good. The weight of the world was lifted from her shoulders when they landed Voyager at the athletic fields of Starfleet Headquarters. Her duty to her ship and crew was finally fulfilled and it was time for her to relax and let the woman within the Captain live. She only hoped that it wasn’t too late for her to rediscover Kathryn and let her live again.

But intertwined with the happiness she felt for keeping her promise to her crew was her sadness at the sacrifice of her older self, Admiral Janeway. She had come to like and respect her older self even if it did make her feel uneasy to have met her. Had she really become this cynical and lonely but very dignified person as time passed? Was she willing to sacrifice her principles so easily? What exactly had driven her older self to take these drastic steps to change history? She hoped she would never know that deep-seated loneliness and despair and never succumb to the temptation to change so many lives all in the name of guilt. Was that really what she could become?

The lift deposited her on the 12th floor and she quickly made her way to Admiral Paris’ office. He was waiting for her even though she was ten minutes early, and had a cup of coffee waiting.

“Thank you Admiral,” she sighed as she wrapped her hands around the steaming mug, quickly inhaling the wonderful aroma. “You don’t know how much I missed the real thing.”

“Oh I have an idea Katie,” he fondly smiled. “After all, you were more than famous for your coffee addiction even as a cadet. I haven’t forgotten.”

“Before we discuss other matters, I wanted to take this opportunity to thank you for what you’ve done for Tom,” the Admiral stated.

“Admiral, I didn’t ……,” Kathryn started but was stopped by his raised hand and a quick shake of his head.

“No Katie, I spoke at great length with both Tom and B’Elanna and I know what you did for them and for everyone else aboard Voyager. Tom’s turned into someone very special, and that’s mostly thanks to you. I’m so proud of him. You did for him what I couldn’t – or wouldn’t, only I didn’t understand at the time what he needed. You did, and I can never repay you for this.”

“B’Elanna is one special lady too, and the fact that she’s my daughter-in-law and the mother of my grandchild doesn’t influence my opinion one little bit,” he smiled shyly at her as they shared a warm moment, “and I know she was a big influence too. But because of you we have a relationship again, and I never thought that possible. It will take time to heal all the hurt we both caused each other, but we’re making good headway. Thank you.”

Owen Paris took a moment to pull Kathryn into a quick hug, and when he released her she saw a sparkle of tears in his eyes. It made her feel good to know that she had a small part in this healing process, and she truly hoped they would work it all out. “You’re welcome, my friend,” she replied with a smile.

“Now, down to business Captain,” Owen continued as he indicated a chair for Kathryn and seated himself behind his desk. “We need to discuss some issues relating to your mission, extended as it was. I want to know about the Maquis, and especially your First Officer, Commander Chakotay.”

Kathryn spent the next ten hours defending her actions and enlightening the Admiral about her crew – how both crews were brought together mostly through the efforts of Chakotay and how as time passed both crews became not only one crew, but a true family. Admiral Paris also questioned her on different points revealed in the ship’s logs and about their arrival in the Alpha Quadrant, especially about Admiral Janeway and the Borg.

“Kathryn, I’ll be honest here,” Admiral Paris stated at the end of the question session, “a review board was formed when we first made contact with Voyager and you sent your ship’s logs. They were reviewed and thoroughly examined. The board consists of seven members, and five of those, including myself, understand why you did what you did. But two members of the board, Necheyev and Jos a’Han, think there are grounds for an inquiry into some of your decisions and are pushing for disciplinary action. Before you get upset, please know that I don’t think anything will come of this because those two are outnumbered, but you may be called to testify and defend your actions. Please know that you will not be alone if this happens, and the five who agree with you will fight for you.”

“Admiral I understand, but my first concern is for the Maquis members of my crew, not for myself. Do you know if they will be pardoned and allowed to keep their commissions? They served faithfully for seven years and I don’t want to see anything happen to them. They’re as much a part of the Voyager family as the original Starfleet crew,” an impassioned Captain Janeway inquired. “It’s important to me that they be pardoned and allowed to remain in Starfleet if they so choose.”

The Captain and the Admiral discussed this issue for hours until Kathryn was sure that Owen thoroughly understood just how much of a contribution the Maquis members of her crew actually did make. He also understood without a shadow of a doubt that she would fight to the death to ensure their pardons and acceptance into Starfleet, even if she had to sacrifice herself in the process. Knowing Kathryn Janeway as he did, there was no doubt in his mind about just where she stood.

The following day at their daily debriefing session the Admiral had better news.

“There was talk of punishing the Maquis for their crimes, but I think I can safely say that we’ve decided to not pursue this matter,” the Admiral stated. “The war with the Dominion changed a lot of opinions, the Maquis are no longer causing trouble and have paid dearly for their actions, and your crewmembers have proven themselves. You can inform them that they are free to either remain in Starfleet with their commissions intact, or resign their commissions and be welcomed as free citizens of the Federation.”

“Thank you Admiral,” Kathryn responded with tears in her eyes. “It will mean so much to them.”

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The day had been long and tiring for Kathryn Janeway, but it was with a sense of satisfaction that she strolled down the path that would take her to Chakotay’s apartment. She had hardly seen him since they came home as they had different debriefing sessions. They had all been assigned apartments or rooms (depending on rank) on the grounds of Starfleet Academy until Starfleet finished their debriefings. Starfleet wasn’t releasing them until they had.

Since they returned to Earth they had been allowed meetings with their families and friends, but were not allowed to leave the grounds of Starfleet Headquarters or Starfleet Academy, nor were they allowed to speak to the press. Hopefully the debriefings would soon be completed and the crew could return to their homes for extended leave.

She was dressed in black form-fitting slacks and a pale blue blouse that showed off the deep blue of her eyes and her very feminine curves, and she was anxious to see her friend and First Officer. Now that they were home and she didn’t have the captain’s protocols to adhere to, she was hoping they could develop their relationship that had been sizzling beneath the surface for almost all of the seven years they had been together. She loved him and always admitted that to herself, she just couldn’t admit it to him until now. She intended to take things slowly, but at least they could hopefully take the first step.

The butterflies in her stomach she recognized as nerves. What if he didn’t want her anymore? How would she survive without him? She didn’t know. She only knew that right now she felt light – like a schoolgirl going on a first date. It felt good.

The doorbell sounded its chime, but it was a few minutes before Chakotay answered the door.

“Hi,” Kathryn smiled as she noticed his bedraggled look. “Did I wake you? I can come back another time if you’d prefer.” She noticed that his hair was messed and his clothes looked like he quickly put them on.

“No…..no, come in Kathryn,” Chakotay smiled as he opened the door and allowed her to enter. “What brings you here at this time of the evening?”

“Good news Chakotay, and I wanted to tell you right away. Starfleet has pardoned all the Maquis members of our crew and is allowing them to keep their commissions along with all of their benefits. If they choose to remain in Starfleet, they can. If they choose to resign their commissions, they’re free to go, although I’m hoping to keep the family together if I can. I’ve asked for us all to be assigned to Voyager once she’s refitted.”

“How about we celebrate with dinner and dancing?” she smiled as she watched for his reaction. “I know a lovely little restaurant on the Academy grounds that serves wonderful Italian food, and they even have a small band. I’d like to spend some time with you now that we can relax and not worry about which hostile species will show up next. Plus I wanted to tell you about the meeting I had with Admiral Paris. I could use a good friend to talk to right now.”

Chakotay was surprised at her suggestion, but wasn’t sure exactly what she meant. Did she mean what he thought?

“That’s great about the Maquis. I know they’ll be pleased and I’m sure some of them want to remain in Starfleet. They’ve built new lives there. It’s a lot to think about,” Chakotay responded with a smile. “I don’t know about dinner though. I did have other plans with someone.”

Chakotay’s refusal of dinner caught Kathryn by surprise and she quickly tried to hide the hurt that she knew showed on her face. It felt like a knife was plunged into her gut because she was so much wanting to spend some time with him. “I understand,” she whispered as she quickly turned toward the door so he wouldn’t see the hurt and the tears that were starting to develop. “I’d better go, I have more debriefings tomorrow. Maybe another time.” She couldn’t get her voice any louder than a broken whisper and the tears were quickly forming. The last thing she wanted was for Chakotay to see how much this hurt her.

A voice from another room caught her by surprise. “Chakotay, who is it?” was asked in a very concise feminine voice. “Can you get rid of them?”

“Seven?” Kathryn whispered as she recognized the voice and looked up at Chakotay with huge shining eyes and a look of horror on her face. Understanding quickly replaced doubt as she realized just what she interrupted “Oh no!” she gasped as she turned and ran from Chakotay’s apartment, spurred into action by pain like she never knew before. If felt like a hand was squeezing her heart until she could no longer breathe.

“KATHRYN!” Chakotay called after her. “KATHRYN, PLEASE COME BACK.” He ran out of the door intending to catch her and bring her back to explain, but he soon realized that he’d never get very far in his bare feet and baggy pants, and she was running very fast. He saw the hurt and pain on her face, the tears in her eyes, and it hurt him to have been the cause of that pain. He had noticed the happiness on her face when she arrived at his apartment and the hope written there as well, and he watched that die once she realized what was happening.

Turning back into his apartment he came face-to-face with Seven, who had quickly dressed and come to see who was at the door. “Did you get rid of them, Chakotay?” she purred. “Can you come back to bed now?”

Seven took a better look at Chakotay’s face and realized that something bad had happened. “Who was it?” she asked.

“Kathryn Janeway,” he responded and offered no more.

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

Pain. All she could feel was pain and she was having a very difficult time breathing. Kathryn ran down the street away from Chakotay’s apartment with no idea where she was going. She didn’t care – all she wanted to do was run from her pain. All her hopes and dreams were dying inside her as she ran, and she could suddenly understand why Admiral Janeway was like she was. A person could only take so much hurt, and Kathryn had experienced more than her share when it came to love. She guessed she was destined to be alone in life. Every time she fell in love it only ended in hurt, never happiness. She just couldn’t take anymore hurt.

Seven. Why did it have to be Seven? She thought of Seven as a surrogate daughter, or a special student that she was very proud of, not as a rival for the man she loved. Why didn’t she see this happening under her very nose? Nothing would have led her to believe that Chakotay could have fallen for Seven. He was always wanting to throw her out an airlock, or punish her for some indiscretion. When had that changed? Was she so blind that she couldn’t see it happening? She still honestly believed that Chakotay cared for her as more than a friend, and the thought that they could someday be together was what kept her going. When did it all go wrong?

Unable to breathe any longer, Kathryn stumbled against a tree and realized that she was in one of the parks on the grounds of Starfleet Academy. She must have blindly run well over two miles to get to where she was, and she felt she couldn’t go any further. The pain in her heart was like a band pulled tight around her chest, so she just slid down the tree and lay on the ground crying her eyes out. “Why?” kept going through her mind, although deep down she recognized that it was her fault for holding him off all these years.

Hours passed and Kathryn still lay in a ball on the ground under the tree. She had no more tears to give, and the dry sobs had stopped eventually, but she still hurt more than she ever had in her life, more even than when Daddy and Justin died. “Oh, Chakotay,” she moaned as the tears tried to come again. She was cold and shivering so badly that her teeth were chattering. Even though the night wasn’t especially cold, all she had on were her slacks and blouse, and the damp from the ground was seeping into her bones. Still she couldn’t move except to shiver, and she really didn’t want to.

The first light of dawn was peeking over the horizon when Kathryn finally lifted her head to look around. Fortunately she was in a secluded part of the park so nobody had passed by her position, but she knew the campus would soon come to life and she would be discovered. Since her arrival from the Delta Quadrant she had become a celebrity on the campus and everyone would recognize her, so she fought with her cold, stiff and trembling muscles and forced herself to stand, and then walk back to her apartment.

Once inside her apartment she quickly composed an audio only message for Admiral Paris telling him that she just woke up and wasn’t feeling well. Since she had been crying all night she knew her voice would sound convincing. She postponed their mid-morning meeting until mid-afternoon and then collapsed on her bed to try to cry some more.

She noticed that her message indicator was blinking and it indicated six new messages. Her computer was also blinking its message light, but she suspected that all or some of those messages were from Chakotay, and she just couldn’t talk to him right now. She couldn’t talk to anyone. After an hour of sobbing, she fell into a fitful sleep, still cold and miserable.

The sound of her doorbell finally penetrated the fog of her pain-hazed mind, but she ignored it. Knowing that her door didn’t have override codes like her quarters aboard Voyager, she didn’t feel the need to run or hide, so she pretended not to hear. She just couldn’t see anyone at all. Not now, maybe not ever. The bell finally stopped ringing and Kathryn again fell into a fitful sleep.

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

When Kathryn walked into Admiral Paris’ office for their 3 PM meeting, he immediately knew that something was wrong. Kathryn looked sick and pale, and if he were any judge of people he would guess that she had been crying. But this was Kathryn Janeway, his personal prodigy and he knew she wasn’t ready to talk. He couldn’t imagine what would have her this upset.

So they proceeded to discuss events recorded in her personal logs until he fully understood all of the ramifications of her decisions so he could present them to the rest of the review board. He was running interference for her during the preliminary stages of the investigation so she wouldn’t have to face a board of inquiry until everyone understood what happened during the incidents mentioned. He was actually hoping she wouldn’t have to face a board of inquiry at all.

“OK Kathryn, it’s after 9 PM and I’m hungry and tired. We’ve been at this for hours. How about we get something to eat, and we’ll continue tomorrow. We’ve covered almost all of the items on the list, so it shouldn’t take more than a few hours tomorrow. How about it – are you hungry?” Admiral Paris asked as he looked at Kathryn with concern written on his face. She looked awful.

“Sorry Admiral, but I’m just not hungry. In fact, I’m not feeling too great. Could I have a raincheck please?” Kathryn asked as she raised her weary face to look at him.

“Of course Katie. You try to get some rest and I’ll see you in the morning.”

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

Three hours later Kathryn still couldn’t force sleep to help her escape her pain. She couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep and could hardly bear to think about Chakotay. Her message lights were all blinking and her doorbell had rung several times, but she just wanted to be alone. She finally contacted the Doctor, who was being debriefed at Starfleet Medical, and asked him for something to help her sleep. He believed her when she said the stress of the investigations had her wound up, so he beamed a hypospray to her apartment and she proceeded to inject herself.

Her sleep was fitful and filled with nightmares. She awoke often and found herself crying, but she was able to fall back to sleep with little difficulty. When her alarm rang in the morning she showered, dressed and hurried to her meeting with Admiral Paris.

By the end of the day they had covered all the items on the Admiral’s list and he fully understood her every decision both good and bad. She freely admitted that in retrospect some of her decisions might have been different, but at the time she always tried to protect her ship and crew and only had their best interests at heart. Admiral Paris never doubted that fact.

The hardest part of the whole interrogation was when he asked about her relationship with her First Officer.

“We’re friends and have never been lovers,” Kathryn said but the Admiral could see the sadness in her eyes. “I would never have made it without him by my side.”

“You love him, don’t you Katie?” he gently asked as he reached for her hand.

“No…….yes………well, I thought I did, but he has someone else so it doesn’t matter,” Kathryn stated with her Captain’s mask firmly in place. She was desperately trying to keep fresh tears from falling, but the Admiral could see. “We’re friends and that’s all we’ll ever be.”

“Damn Starfleet protocol,” the Admiral exclaimed. “It stood in the way of your happiness all these years, didn’t it? My Katie, always the good Starfleet Captain, never thinking about Kathryn the woman.”

“Yes, and now it’s too late,” Kathryn whispered. “I do love him, but it’s too late. Admiral, I need a favor. Now that these debriefings are over, could you please send me on a mission? I’d really appreciate anything to get me away from here and to keep my mind busy. I know it’s soon and I should think about R&R, but I would really like to be doing something useful – not just sitting around thinking about what could have been. Please Admiral, I need to be busy,” Kathryn begged.

His heart went out to her and he understood now why she was suffering and looking so sick. Of all the people he knew, Kathryn Janeway deserved happiness most of all, but it seemed all she ever got was pain. He remembered her depression after her father and fiancée were killed, and he resolved to pay back a little of the debt he owed her for the return of his son, who had grown into a man to be proud of under her guidance.

“I’ll see what I can do and let you know in the morning. Now go home, eat something and try to rest,” he gently said as he pulled her to her feet and gathered her into an embrace.

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

Chakotay paced the living room of his apartment, not able to dispel his agitation. He hurt her, he knew he did, but was he really wrong? He felt he was falling in love with Seven, that is until he saw Kathryn’s beautiful face so full of hope and joy. ‘ It sure didn’t take long to turn that hope and joy into despair,’ he berated himself. How did he really feel about Kathryn, and for that matter, how did he feel about Seven? He kept asking himself over and over, and he always came back to Kathryn.

He’d loved her for years – ever since the first day on the bridge when she stood up to him. For a small female Captain she had such a presence that he was bowled over. Over the years his love grew and grew, but because of protocol and her need to be Captain enough to get her ship and crew home, they could never consummate their relationship. They talked about it and they both understood, but he knew that she loved him and was hoping that someday when they got home they could act on it. He never gave her any reason to think otherwise, he realized to his shame.

He guessed he just never really figured they’d get home, at least not in their lifetimes. He wanted love in his life so he just gave up on her and moved on. But Seven? Why Seven?

He’d never even liked Seven until several months ago. Oh, he respected her mental abilities, appreciated her body and even admired her beauty, but it was only skin deep. She was still so much a Borg that he just didn’t bother to know the woman inside until recently. Once he discovered the woman emerging he was curious. Then his curiosity turned to appreciation, but had it really turned to love?

He tried for the fifteenth time to ring Kathryn’s apartment, but again all he got was the answering machine. He’d been to her apartment six times but nobody answered the doorbell, and since her apartment didn’t have override codes he couldn’t force his way in. He thought about breaking in her door, but even as he considered it he realized that it would do no good until she was able to face him and talk to him. She’d only run away again.

What should he do – about Seven and about Kathryn? He continued to pace.

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

“Tom, I’m so glad to see you today. How is my lovely granddaughter?” Admiral Paris smiled as he reached out asking for permission to hold her. B’Elanna handed her sleeping daughter over to her grandfather with motherly pride showing all over her face.

“Come in and sit down, Dad,” Tom responded glad that they were repairing their relationship. And he was even happier that Owen Paris accepted and admired B’Elanna and Miral as quickly as he did. Things were going very well between them all.

He had to smile as he watched his stoic Dad melt for his grandchild, and he wouldn’t have traded these moments for anything.

“Tom, I came to see you today first of all because I wanted to,” Owen started as he looked with pride at his family. “But I also have a problem that I don’t know how to solve and I need your help and B’Elanna’s too.”

“Of course Dad, what do you need?” Tom inquired.

“It’s Kathryn Janeway. I’m breaking a trust by speaking of this so this goes no further than the three of us. Is that understood?”

“Yes,” they replied in unison now worried about their friend and Captain.

“Katie has asked for a mission, and Starfleet has agreed to send her on one immediately. It’s dangerous and is a mission that was picked for her by one of the Admirals that seems to want to court martial her. I don’t know why she would pick this mission for Katie unless this particular Admiral wants to risk her life. I’m not happy about it especially when you consider her mental condition, but it’s now out of my hands. I can’t tell you about the mission as it’s secret, but I can ask you to help me understand things a little better. Please tell me about her relationship with Commander Chakotay?”

Tom and B’Elanna were stunned, but Tom recovered first and started to answer his father since he knew his father thought of Kathryn Janeway as his ‘adopted’ daughter. Ever since his friend, Edward Janeway, was killed in that terrible accident Owen Paris took Kathryn under his wing and helped to guide her in her choices. He never made it obvious, but he was always looking out for her and his fondness for her was genuine. Besides, she made him proud.

“They loved each other from almost the first minute they saw each other, and they were wonderful together. But protocol stood in their way and they wouldn’t allow themselves to be happy, just good friends,” Tom started. “Chakotay wore his heart on his sleeve, and for a while we all thought the Captain was just made of ice or uninterested, but we all came to realize this wasn’t true. I really and truly think she loves him even more than he loves her – and that’s going some. The crew tried everything we could think of to bring them together, but the Captain had her duty and wouldn’t let it happen. The old ‘crew comes first’ thing, you know what I’m talking about. That damn Starfleet protocol. Why do you ask?”

“Right now I think Katie is suffering from a broken heart. I did some inquiring and Commander Chakotay has started an affair with that Borg you brought back.”

“WHAT???” Tom and B’Elanna yelled in unison.

“Seven of Nine and the Commander have started a relationship and Katie didn’t know about it. She just found out and is devastated. I’ve seen her and talked to her and she’s beyond being consoled. She’s totally devastated and I can’t help her. She’s persuaded Starfleet that she needs something to keep her busy until Voyager’s overhaul is finished, but that isn’t the case. She’s running away from her broken heart – again. You do remember when her father and fiancée were killed in that shuttle accident? None of her other boyfriends wanted to deal with her fast-track career until Mark, and then Mark didn’t wait for her? How much more can she take? I’m worried about her.”

“That lousy P’tak,” B’Elanna growled. “I’ll let him know what I think about that Borg Barbie Princess. Miss High and Mighty herself. Besides, I thought she and the Doctor were a thing.”

“Take it easy B’Elanna, we promised to respect Dad’s trust. I’ll go see Chakotay and try to determine what’s happening and we’ll go from there. OK?”

B’Elanna reluctantly agreed.

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

Kathryn Janeway reported to the scoutship Ranger two weeks after her request to Admiral Paris for a mission. She spent the whole two weeks in between hiding from all her former crew and most of her family. They thought she was still being debriefed. She did take a few days to visit her mother, who promptly remarked how thin she was becoming and how little she ate. Her mother couldn’t even tempt her with caramel brownies, she was just hurting too much. She finally confided in her mother and that helped a little, but only time she knew would dull the pain.

Her mother didn’t want her to go and neither did her sister, Phoebe, but Kathryn just couldn’t sit around and do nothing in her present state of mind. And she didn’t want to go back to Starfleet Headquarters and have to hide from her crew so they wouldn’t see the state she was in. She knew through Admiral Paris that Chakotay was looking for her. She just wasn’t ready to face him, the pain was still too raw.

The scoutship Ranger was small and sleek, with a crew compliment of fifteen counting herself. Her mission was still unknown, she would receive her orders once they left spacedock. She didn’t know anyone assigned to her crew, so she settled her meager belongings in her small quarters and quickly made a tour of her ship introducing herself to the other members of her crew. She noticed that some of the younger members of her crew seemed to be in awe of her, most likely because she was the “legendary Captain of Voyager,” but she quickly made them feel comfortable around her. She even liked her First Officer, Commander Roger Harden and especially her Chief Engineer, Heather Briles.

Roger Harden was quick to tease her about being ‘legendary,’ but she was quick to tease back that maybe someday he would be a rival for Kirk’s ‘legendary’ status. He was very handsome and quite the ladies’ man.

Clearance was given for them to leave, so she settled herself into the Captain’s chair and gave the orders to get underway. Once they were clear of their home solar system, she retired to her quarters to retrieve her orders.

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

“What can I do for you, Seven?” the Doctor inquired as she stood at the table in Starfleet Medical’s mess hall where they arranged to meet. “Please sit down and we’ll order lunch and then you can tell me how you’ve been,” he smiled as he appreciated her once again. He made no secret of the fact that he was in love with her. In fact, when he thought his program was going to decompile shortly before they returned to the Alpha Quadrant, he embarrassed himself by declaring his love in front of quite an audience.

After they ordered their meal Seven, who didn’t believe in beating around the bush, quickly stated the nature of her problem.

“Doctor, as you know I’ve been pursuing a relationship with Commander Chakotay, and we have been dating since shortly before we returned from the Delta Quadrant. We’ve had our seventh and eighth dates and have engaged in sexual activities, but I’m no longer sure that I want this to continue,” Seven stated in her matter-of-fact way. “I wanted to explore my sexuality and experience some of the emotions I felt when I was with Axim in Unimatrix Zero. I never felt more alive than I did during that time, and I was trying to recapture those emotions.”

Seven continued to talk unaware of the hurt she was causing the Doctor.

“Several weeks ago while I was spending some time with Commander Chakotay in his quarters, we were interrupted by his doorbell. He went to answer the door and I could hear him talking to someone, but I couldn’t tell who it was. When he didn’t come back to bed within a few minutes, I called for him. He still didn’t return, so I dressed and went out to see who was at the door. He was standing alone in the doorway when I got there, but I could see that he was very upset. When I asked who was there he said it was Captain Janeway, but that she left. He was very upset by this and wouldn’t come back to bed. In fact, since that time we have spent very little time together.”

“Doctor, I have re-evaluated my feelings for Commander Chakotay and I don’t believe I love him at all. I believe I was in love with the idea of being in love, but the Commander and I just don’t have any chemistry together and I wish to end this relationship. I believe he feels the same as I do because I truly believe he is in love with the Captain. Can you guide me because this was never covered in any of our lessons?” Seven inquired finally looking into the Doctor’s face. What she saw there surprised her.

“Of course I’ll help you, Seven,” the Doctor stated as he tried to hide his emotions. But he knew his face was very expressive and that Seven saw and understood his feelings.

“Doctor, do you still have feelings for me?” Seven inquired in her usual blunt way? “If so I believe I would like to try having a relationship with you to see if we are more compatible than the Commander and I were. I have little hope of ever seeing Axim again and would like to experience these feelings once again. Are you agreeable to trying this with me?”

“Seven, you have to give me some time here,” the Doctor said. “First we have to let the Commander know how you feel, and then we’ll go from there.” He could feel hope blossoming again in his breast and it felt good.

“Agreed,” Seven stated as their meal arrived and they proceeded to eat.

Three hours later Seven appeared at Chakotay’s door. She was surprised at how tired and drawn he looked when he answered, but proceeded to deliver her message.

“Commander, I want you to know that I no longer want to pursue a relationship with you. I have come to the conclusion that you and I do not possess the chemistry together that you experienced with the Captain, and therefore you could never love me like you love her. I have discussed this with the Doctor and he has agreed to have a relationship with me to see if we have any chemistry together. I believe we do. But in the event we do not, at least he would be satisfied just having me with him.”

Seven continued as Chakotay’s mouth hung open. “I have no desire to hurt your feelings, but I know that you have deep feelings for Captain Janeway. I also know that she has deep feelings for you, and you should pursue them together. I understand what I’m talking about since I experienced these feelings with Axim, but I have no hope that we can ever be together and am willing to settle for the Doctor. I don’t want to be alone.”

“Seven, I……,” Chakotay stuttered. “I understand,” he finally choked out as she turned to leave in her usual blunt way.

“Good day, Commander, I will see you when we report back to Voyager,” Seven stated as she marched out the door.

When the shock of the encounter lessened, Chakotay examined his feelings yet again and was surprised to find that he felt only relief.

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

Chakotay was at his communications center trying yet again to get through to Kathryn, but meeting with no success. He was getting frustrated because not only could he get no response from Kathryn, but everyone else he tried could not help him reach her no matter how much he begged. He was sure Admiral Paris knew where she was, but just wouldn’t tell him. His excuse that she was tied up in high-level meetings was wearing thin, and he could see profound sadness in the older man’s eyes. He knew – Chakotay knew he knew about him and Seven, but he just wasn’t telling.

The sound of his doorbell startled him out of his self-pity party and he hurried to see who was there. Seven left over two hours ago and he was still feeling very relieved that this relationship was over. He didn’t know what ever possessed him to make advances to Seven in the first place, he never really liked her before so why try to seduce her? It must have been a moment of weakness or just frustration that he could not have the woman he really loved because of that damned Starfleet protocol.

ut what had he done to Kathryn? It hurt him to remember her face when she realized he was with someone. She was hurt beyond belief and how could he ever ask her to forgive him, especially since it was Seven? He suddenly felt dirty and sneaky because Seven had always been her protegee and he knew it. She had taken Seven under her wing and worked tirelessly with her to help Seven rediscover her humanity. Of all the people that he could have picked, Seven was the one that hurt her the most. He must have known that on some deep subliminal level when he started the affair. Whatever prompted him to do that? He didn’t know and he was soooo sorry.

hen Chakotay opened the door he was surprised to find Tom Paris standing on his doorstep. “Come in Tom, what can I do for you?” he inquired as Tom stepped into the apartment. As they moved into the living room to sit he saw Tom’s expression and instantly knew there was trouble. Tom looked ready to either kill or deliver bad news, and Chakotay didn’t know which.

“What’s wrong? Is it B’Elanna or Miral?” Chakotay asked in genuine concern.

Tom took a moment to look at his Commander and a man he called friend and quickly made a huge effort to bring his raging feelings under control. He was so angry with Chakotay for hurting Kathryn Janeway, but he realized that he wouldn’t accomplish anything by starting a fight.

“Chakotay, I need to ask you something and I want you to know I’m asking for a reason. Are you having an affair with Seven of Nine?” Tom finally choked out.

Chakotay was surprised by the question but knew that Tom and B’Elanna were friends so he answered honestly. “Yes, Seven and I were having an affair, but it’s over. She decided that we didn’t have any ‘chemistry’ as she called it so she’s decided to have an affair with the Doctor to see if any ‘chemistry’ is there. She told me about two hours ago, but to be honest I’m glad. She’s right, we didn’t really have anything going for us. Why do you ask and how did you know?”

Tom decided to be equally honest with his friend and hoped his Dad would forgive him. A lot was at stake here. “My Dad told me, but only because of Captain Janeway. I’m violating a trust here so I want you to understand that this stays between only us.” He realized that he instantly had Chakotay’s undivided attention.

“It appears that Captain Janeway was very upset at interrupting you and Seven several weeks ago. She had no idea that the two of you were together. In fact, Dad thinks that she came here that night to see if you still loved her and wanted to move forward with your relationship. She also fought long and hard with Starfleet all day to have all charges dismissed against all her Maquis crewmembers and wanted you to be the first to know that she was successful. Kathryn Janeway doesn’t love lightly – she’s been hurt too many times by love, and now she’s hurt again. Dad doesn’t know if she’ll recover, that’s how much she’s hurting. But that isn’t the worst of it,” Tom continued as he watched for Chakotay’s reaction.

He was pleased to see that Chakotay was very upset about Kathryn and unaffected by his breakup with Seven. Not that he wished anybody bad luck at love, but damit, the Captain and Chakotay belonged together. Everyone knew it.

“After suffering with a broken heart for two weeks and being unable to come to terms with your relationship with Seven, Kathryn petitioned Starfleet to send her on a mission. Starfleet didn’t know about her feelings, only that she told them she wanted to be useful while Voyager was being refitted and she didn’t care what type of mission. They agreed and she left yesterday on a mission for Starfleet. I don’t know where she’s gone, but Dad says it’s a dangerous mission and he’s worried about her.”

“What do you want me to do, Tom? I’d do anything for Kathryn, you know that. You know, if Seven hadn’t ended our relationship I would have done it. After Kathryn ran away that night I spent days analyzing my feelings and what I wanted from life. All I want is Kathryn. I love her so much, Tom. I’ve tried to contact her, but I get nowhere. She doesn’t answer her comm system or her doorbell, and nobody can help me find her. Do you know where she is?”

“I don’t, but Dad does. If you’re sure about your feelings, and I mean absolutely sure, we can ask Dad to help. But I won’t ask him unless you’re 100% sure that you love Kathryn Janeway and only Kathryn Janeway. I won’t let her get hurt like this again. I care too much for her, and so does all of my family.”

“I’m sure Tom – 100% sure. I love Kathryn and have for a long time. She’s the other half of my soul and I need her in my life. Will you help me?”

“Yes, so let’s go,” was Tom’s quick reply.

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

Kathryn’s orders were clear. Proceed to the Numma system and pick up their ambassador, then deliver him to Imbus in the Nexar system. The two planets were negotiating a fragile peace treaty and the negotiations were at a critical stage. These planets had been at war for a very long time and this peace treaty was greatly desired by all, especially since both planets wanted to join the Federation. Both of these systems were in Federation space but closely bordered Romulan neutral space so this would be a tactical advantage to the Federation if they became members. Plus the Federation would then be bound by the terms of its charter to defend these worlds if the Romulans started any trouble, which lately they were threatening to do.

The mission sounded straightforward enough, but Kathryn was smart enough to read between the lines. She knew that the Romulans had been causing trouble since the end of the war with the Dominion and that they would not want these two worlds to become members of the Federation. She also knew that these people had been enemies for a very long time and that not everyone was in favor of this peace. The people of Imbus had a reputation for being violent and vindictive so she knew she would have to be very alert when they approached Imbus.

The eight days it took to reach Numma were spent getting to know her crew and letting them get to know her. Kathryn was amused at the way they were intimidated by her reputation, but soon put them all at ease.

In addition to Briles and Harden, Kathryn was fascinated to meet Temby. Temby was from the planet Hannor in the Mariah System, and the inhabitants of that planet resembled large furry tribbles. Temby was very young, but a naturally talented engineer. Most of the members of Temby’s race were gifted toward engineering, but there were very few in Starfleet and Kathryn felt honored that Temby asked to be on this mission so he could meet her. He only came up a little past Kathryn’s waist and he had very short arms and legs, but his favorite way of greeting her was to rub his soft light brown fur against her hand. His greetings always made her feel good and she often wondered if this was his way of getting a pat on the head.

Kathryn’s days were spent keeping herself very busy getting to know her ship as well, even going as far as crawling through the Jeffries tubes herself to inspect them. Since she didn’t want to allow herself time to feel the pain of losing Chakotay, she worked herself until she was exhausted, hoping that this would allow her to sleep at night. It didn’t work.

Nightmares plagued her whenever she was able to get to sleep and she would wake up crying for her loss. Her heart felt empty, and even though she put up a good front for her crew, she couldn’t hide the dark circles under her eyes and how thin her body was becoming. They all knew something was wrong. She also couldn’t eat. The thought of food made her sick, let alone eating very much of it. She existed on coffee and chicken soup, but very little else. Her heartache just wouldn’t let up.

Her First Officer tried to help. Roger was a blessing and Kathryn was grateful for his efforts, but she just couldn’t share this with anyone. In addition to the hurt of her loss she was feeling the shame of putting Chakotay off for so long, as well as the humiliation of not knowing about him and Seven when most likely everyone else on board Voyager knew. She thought they all must have been laughing at her – the ever-so-aloof captain who wouldn’t give in to her handsome first officer when he was practically throwing himself at her feet. She knew they had conspired many times to get them together, she just couldn’t let it happen – then. And now it was too late.

What Kathryn never would allow herself to realize was that her crew did understand and just tried to let her know that it didn’t matter to them. She was always too much a Starfleet Captain and never enough just Kathryn. They loved her, but she just couldn’t see it.

Numma’s Ambassador Kye was a very dignified man and Kathryn liked him immediately. He socialized well with her crew. Typical of his species he was very tall, well over seven feet, and his skin was a very pale mint green. The atmosphere of his planet contained large amounts of copper which could not be easily breathed by humans, so Kathryn had him beamed on board Ranger and conducted her business with the planet over the comm. system.

The Nummans were not nearly as hostile as the people of Imbus, but they were still willing and able to fight if need be. Kathryn soon realized that the greater threat of trouble from the Romulan Empire had forced the Nummans to seriously consider this peace treaty just as it had the Imbuans.

Once Ambassador Kye was settled in his quarters and her business with Numma completed, Ranger left orbit for Imbus, a journey of two days at warp 5.

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

Chakotay had been sitting in Admiral Paris office on and off for three days. He was sure the Admiral was tired of talking to him, but he wanted to make yet another plea for him to tell where Kathryn was. He just had to get in touch with her to apologize and let her know his feelings. The Admiral had finally acknowledged that Kathryn was on a dangerous mission, that he was worried about her and that he didn’t appreciate the way she had been treated. He made it clear that Kathryn was as important to him as his own family. Chakotay understood the Admiral’s attitude toward him, he wasn’t too happy with himself either.

At first the Admiral had been curt, almost refusing to talk to him, but Tom had accompanied him the second day and he finally listened to Chakotay’s feelings. Today he gave Chakotay the impression that he finally believed him, but was bound by Starfleet to not reveal the details of the mission. Chakotay continued to worry.

Tom and B’Elanna tried through unofficial channels to find out where Kathryn was, but nobody seemed to know. All they knew was that she had taken command of a small scoutship and headed out on a mission.

They were all frustrated.

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

The Doctor felt like he was in heaven. Starfleet Medical finally acknowledged his brilliance in devising ways to keep his crew alive during their stay in the Delta Quadrant, his publisher presented him with the final draft of his novel and he was very pleased with it. And to top it off, his affair with Seven was going better than either of them had expected.

They shared so many interests that their time together was never dull. They attended the opera, wrote songs together and learned more about each other’s interests. He accompanied Seven to meet her family and was thrilled when they accepted him without reservation. Seven attended some of his lectures and found them concise and accurate – high praise from Seven.

On one or two occasions they double-dated with Harry Kim and his girlfriend, Libby. Seven found Libby to be frivolous, but assumed that once she spent more time with Harry she would change for the better. Harry had just gotten word that Captain Janeway requested Starfleet promote him to Lt. Kim, and the paperwork was being processed.

The debriefings were over and the crew free to take leave until Voyager was refitted. Several had resigned from Starfleet having had enough of space travel. Most of the others petitioned to stay aboard Voyager when she was refitted, including the Doctor and Seven. This was their home and both were more comfortable there than anywhere.

In fact, all of the senior staff asked to stay, which was a testament to the leadership of Captain Kathryn Janeway. Starfleet Command was impressed.

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

They were approaching Imbus and Kathryn was in a Jeffries tube close to Engineering when the attack came. Engineering was on level four of her five-deck ship. Her small ship was rocked and conduits were sparking and exploding all over Engineering as she crawled out of the tube asking for a report. Heather Briles, her Chief Engineer, reported that the warp drive was offline and that impulse was damaged but still operational. She and her small crew were trying to repair systems and put out small fires, all at the same time. Behind Briles Kathryn noticed Temby working frantically at a console trying to stabilize the impulse drive. Temby looked over at her and waved one of his short arms making Kathryn smile.

Ordering her to continue with repairs and to keep her posted, Kathryn ran for the lift that would take her to her bridge.

When the lift finally reached the bridge, her First Officer quickly vacated the Captain’s seat while giving her a status report. The two alien ships had been hiding behind a small moon and attacked as Ranger was passing by on their way to Imbus. The attack caught them by surprise and before they could fully raise their shields and fire back, the ships had done lots of damage to Ranger. Shields were down to 18%, and although phasers were still operational they were not doing much damage to the larger ships. Two large ships against one small scoutship was not a very good match, and Ranger couldn’t escape without warp drive.

“Hail them,” Janeway ordered as another volley rocked her ship and more panels exploded. “No response,” was shouted by the communications officer just before her panel exploded sending her crashing back against the wall behind her. She didn’t move.

Commander Harden quickly moved to communications, but the systems were dead. “I can’t hail them, that last volley took out communications,” he reported as he continued to try to find a way to communicate. Another volley rocked the ship sending the crew tumbling onto the deck. Harden quickly recovered and pulled himself up to the Ops station, but Kathryn had been thrown against a console and was slower to move. Her head hurt and was bleeding from a nasty cut on her forehead, and it was taking a few minutes for her mind to clear.

Her con officer was dead. He had been thrown into the wall and as Kathryn quickly checked him she could find no pulse. Her vision was slowly clearing although blood was dripping into her eyes. She took a few seconds to morn for Ensign Carter, a fine young man who would have gone far if given enough time. But his time was up and she quickly realized that all of their time would soon be up if she didn’t do something quickly.

Kathryn took over the con, scanning for a suitable place to put the ship down before it was blown to bits in space. The nearby moon where the aliens had been hiding was her only option, so she took control of the sluggish con and guided the ship toward the moon. “We’re setting down on that moon,” she reported to Harden who had just determined that the Ops officer was dead. “It has an atmosphere and some water and plant life, but little else.”

Another volley hit Ranger and plasma started venting from the rear of the ship. Sparks were flying from even more of the consoles and two large ceiling supports had come loose and were hanging dangerously over the bridge area.

“Captain,” Harden shouted over the sounds of battle and destruction, “Briles reports that several of her staff are dead or injured and all systems are damaged, some beyond repair. We have to land this ship soon or we won’t make it.”

“We’re almost there,” Kathryn shouted. “It’s going to be a rough landing, I have very little control. Tell the crew to hang on,” she finished as she concentrated on landing her little ship. A minute later they were plunging through the thin atmosphere of the small moon, plasma trailing in a fiery trail behind them. “Launch a distress beacon,” she ordered as she continued to fight with the almost unresponsive controls.

“Away,” Harden responded as he launched the beacon that he prepared when they first came under attack. The ship approached the moon and Harden could see some small trees and lots of undergrowth as they approached the surface. It was fortunately relatively flat, but he was convinced that it would be a miracle if the Captain could get the shuttle down in one piece. Kathryn had no control and she was fighting for every degree she could get to raise the nose of the craft so it wouldn’t plunge nose first into the ground, killing them all instantly.

Suddenly the nose rose slightly, and Kathryn dropped the tail of the craft allowing it to land on its belly on the planet’s surface. As Harden watched, everything seemed to be happening in slow motion. The ship was down, crashing extremely hard on its belly and skidding along the ground taking trees and rocks with it as it went. The Captain was still fighting to control the trajectory of the shuttle, but she was unable to stop it as inertia was keeping it moving. Harden was holding on to the Ops station when he noticed that consoles all over the bridge exploding. He looked up and noticed that the ceiling supports were now loose and one was falling onto Captain Janeway’s position.

“Look out,” he shouted as he projected himself across the small bridge smashing into his Captain as he went. His momentum knocked Kathryn from her station just as the beam came down on both of them. As the ship came crashing up against a very large rock and suddenly stopped, more beams came crashing down all over the bridge, and then everything was still.

Kathryn felt Harden plow into her as she was still fighting for control of the ship. They were both propelled away from the con station and onto the floor as the beam fell on them. Kathryn felt the weight of the beam fall on them, felt terrible pain in her middle and a sharp pain in her left leg and then everything went dark.

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

The distress beacon did its job and the call was sent to Starfleet that Ranger was in trouble. Admiral Paris got word as he was preparing to go to lunch with Tom and B’Elanna, so he immediately used his authority to get a full report. When he did manage to get all the information Starfleet had, he was not happy.

Ranger reported that they were under attack and being forced to land on a small moon near Imbus. They were heavily damaged and doubted the ship could be saved. There were no Starfleet ships in the vicinity as it was considered a dangerous place to be until the peace treaty was finalized, and it would be several days before any ships could get there to help. If any of them were still alive Paris knew they would need help fast. He decided that he wasn’t an Admiral for nothing so he quickly took control of the situation and ordered contact to be made with both Numma and Imbus to see if either world was willing to help. He wasn’t surprised when they both refused, accusing each other of initiating the attack to sabotage the peace. Asking the Romulans for help was out of the question,

While he was issuing orders and trying to arrange for Ranger’s rescue, Tom and B’Elanna stormed into his office. They had been in the waiting area and overheard some of what was happening. Hearing the name Janeway mentioned, they had an idea and were demanding to know what was happening. Admiral Paris told them.

They both understood the danger and that there would be no further information from Ranger, but they both knew they just couldn’t sit there while their friend was in danger. “Dad, what can we do?” Tom asked and his emotion was evident on his face.

Making a decision, Admiral Paris asked B’Elanna to quickly contact as many of Voyager’s senior staff as could be at Headquarters within the hour. It took only fifteen minutes for her to contact Chakotay at his apartment, Harry at his parents’ home, Tuvok at the Vulcan Embassy where he was staying with his family, the Doctor who was at Starfleet Medical and Seven who was with him. The Admiral arranged to have them all beamed to Headquarters.

Taking Tom aside he outlined his plan. Starfleet had a new prototype ship, highly secret, which could maintain warp 9.9 indefinitely while under a new type of cloak. It had been tested once or twice and was just waiting for more tests to be completed before it was authorized for Starfleet use. The ship was at Jupiter Station and Admiral Paris was commandeering it for this rescue mission, having already ordered it to be brought to Earth. With this ship they could be at Imbus in less than three days. It only had a skeleton crew manning it hence his need for experienced people. Since they were going to hopefully rescue Captain Janeway and her Ranger crew, he could think of no better people for the job than her very loyal senior staff.

B’Elanna joined them as the Admiral was explaining the plan to Tom. Reporting that she had contacted all of the senior staff, she asked if he wanted any other Voyager crewmembers along on this mission. Amazed that they were all willing to report on such short notice, Paris told her that he could use about ten more crewmen if she could get them. Within fifteen minutes ten more of Voyager’s crew were in the process of being beamed to headquarters.

Two hours later the senior staff of Voyager, Admiral Owen Paris and ten of Voyager’s crewmembers, including Vorik and Ayala, were on board Prototype 411 and preparing for departure. The crew had been briefed on the mission and the prototype’s crew was busy explaining how the ship worked to Voyager’s crew.

The Admiral took great pleasure in overriding the two admirals who still wanted to court-martial Janeway, even though the review board already decided there were no grounds. They opposed his going on this rescue mission. He wondered if they had a secret agenda and really just wanted Janeway dead. With another call to his aid he put in place a system that would monitor these admirals while he was gone.

Admiral Paris then took a few moments to talk to Chakotay, who was almost beside himself with worry about Kathryn. He blamed himself for her going on this mission, and the Admiral had to admit that he really was to blame. But he needed Chakotay at his best, and if Kathryn’s opinion was as accurate as usual, Chakotay was the best. She needed him now more than ever, and he proceeded to tell him so in no uncertain terms.

Seeing Seven stride onto the bridge gave Chakotay a momentary pang of guilt, but this quickly passed as she formally reported to him and asked for orders. He assigned her to navigation and ordered her to plot the fastest course to Imbus. He had no doubt of her ability.

Commander Tuvok assumed the Tactical station and quickly checked the ship’s systems, familiarizing himself with the layout of his panels. Chakotay couldn’t tell what Tuvok was thinking, but he imagined he saw disapproval in his eyes. Tuvok was Kathryn’s old and dear friend and took her well being very seriously.

Chakotay finally pulled himself together promising the Admiral his best effort. He then proceeded to flawlessly prepare the ship and crew for departure. Approval was requested and given and Prototype 411 glided out of Earth’s orbit and quickly headed for Imbus.

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

The smoke finally settled over the remains of the small scoutship that crashed onto the surface of the unnamed moon. Debris covered the ship, or what was left of it as many of its parts were scattered over a wide area. The ship had skidded for quite a while before crashing into the large rock that finally completely stopped its forward motion. All had been still for many hours and there were no signs of life coming from the ship.

The aliens who attacked the ship scanned from orbit for a good ten hours trying to find any signs of life, but they were finally satisfied that their mission was complete and they left what remained of the ship on the moon’s surface to return to their home base. They then reported success to their boss.

A new day had begun on the moon when a faint moan was heard deep within the ship. Heather Briles finally regained consciousness and tried to move her body out from under the debris that was covering her. It wasn’t easy and the pain in her body forced her to move slowly. She couldn’t tell how badly hurt she was, but she knew she was injured and hurting terribly.

Finally freeing herself from the covering of debris she looked around to see if any of her staff survived. She quickly spied three of her engineers, and there was no doubt they were dead. A glimpse of soft brown fur peaking out from under a fallen beam told her the fate of Temby. She had no idea if anyone else survived and there was no way to communicate over the comm. system as that was destroyed along with the ship.

Once she tried to stand, she found she could hardly walk. Her back was the central focus of her pain and she wondered if she had broken it. As she looked around she realized that she had only survived because a ceiling support had come down over her position and had deflected most of the rest of the debris from falling onto her. The others on her crew were not so lucky.

Spotting daylight through a hole in the hull of the ship, she dragged herself toward it knowing it was her only way out. Since engineering was on the fourth deck of this five-deck ship and there was no longer a deck five, she was able to drag herself out of the ship and slide down onto the ground. Looking around for others who might have survived, she could see nobody.

As she continued to study Ranger she noticed that there was no longer a deck two and very little of a deck three. It had totally collapsed into decks three and four, and she then realized that any of the crew who had been on deck two would have had no chance at all. That most likely included the ambassador. They were dead, squashed along with the deck. The only place anyone else could have survived was on deck one – the bridge. One whole side of deck one was gone revealing the extensive damage. The front of the ship was caved in, a result of its impact with the rock, and some of the ceiling beams had fallen. There was no sign of anyone so she dragged herself up onto the rock and into the opening to try to see if anyone was alive to need her help.

It took some minutes for Briles to get herself into a position where she could pull herself onto deck one. The more she moved the more she was sure her back was broken, but she had no choice. At least she could still move so it couldn’t be too awfully bad. Once she was on the floor of deck one she spied Carter and T’Lin, the communications officer, both dead. As she moved around she was able to locate the body of Chunn, the Bolian Ops officer who was pinned under a console. Judging by the look of him, he was also dead, and Bolians didn’t look so good when they were dead.

That left only the Captain and First Officer, and Heather looked all around but didn’t see them. She crawled further into the ruins of deck one and finally spied a leg sticking out from under a ceiling beam. She crawled the few feet to the beam and carefully pushed ceiling debris off the beam to try to discover who was under the beam.

It took a few minutes for her to push the debris aside, and she discovered both of her senior officers trapped under the beam. Commander Harden was lying beside Captain Janeway, almost like he was pushing her, and Heather felt Harden’s neck for a pulse. There was none. She reached across Harden and laid her fingers on Janeway’s neck and was able to feel a faint pulse. Realizing that she was still alive, she set to work trying to move the beam and free them.

Using a smaller beam for leverage, Briles was able to lift the beam off the officers and shove a piece of console under it to keep it off them. She pulled Harden out first since he was the first one she could get to. He was dead, so she carefully moved his body to the side so she could get Janeway out. When she went to move her she realized that another beam had fallen on and trapped her left leg, so she took a few more minutes to lever that beam off her leg. She was finally able to drag her away from the fallen beams and over to the edge of the deck where it was ripped away.

By now her injuries were making themselves felt and she didn’t think she could carry Janeway away from the ship, even through Janeway was small and very thin. Heather was a strong woman and larger than Janeway, but right now she wasn’t feeling too well, so she positioned Janeway where they would have some protection if this moon had any bad weather patterns and lay down beside her to rest. Hopefully Janeway would wake up soon, although she couldn’t determine how badly she was hurt, and they could decide what to do then.

Night was finally beginning to take over from the day when Heather heard a faint moan come from the woman lying beside her. Realizing that she was regaining consciousness but not knowing how badly either of them was hurt, she just waited. It took a while, and she could see Janeway give it several attempts. Finally her eyelids lifted and Heather stared into the most beautiful blue eyes she had ever seen. Deep blue fringed with auburn lashes, but unfortunately filled with pain.

She could see her battle to clear her vision and organize her thoughts. As awareness pushed back the fogginess of unconsciousness, pain and confusion took over and began their reign. Briles spoke softly in case her obvious head injury was making her hearing more acute than usual. “Just hold still for a minute or two, Captain. I don’t know how badly you’re hurt. In fact, I don’t know how badly I’m hurt, but I know we both are. Everyone else is dead,” she continued knowing that her Captain would want as many facts as she could provide.

“I’ve accounted for all of my department and everyone who should have been on the bridge. Only those who might have been on decks two or three are unaccounted for, but since deck two is now deck three and deck three is mostly part of deck four, I’m sure that nobody who was on either deck survived. There’s no way.”

She could see Janeway gather the facts she was presenting, as well as her thoughts, and finally Janeway managed to speak to her. “How bad is Ranger?”

“We’re in the largest piece, but there are so many others that I’m afraid we’ll never find them all,” she said trying to make the best of the bad news. “There’s no way this ship will ever fly again.”

Kathryn tried to raise her head to look around, but finally gave up as she digested Heather’s news. “Thank you,” she whispered as her eyes closed and she went back to sleep. Heather was sure she should wake her because of her head injury, but she wasn’t feeling too great herself. A few minutes later she laid her head on the deck of the bridge and sleep claimed her as well.

As dawn once again spread its harsh light over the rather barren landscape of the moon, Heather awoke once again. She quickly checked her Captain, but she was still asleep, or unconscious – she hadn’t figured out which yet. She knew they needed some food and water, but the mess hall would have been on deck two, had there still been a deck two, so that wasn’t an option. She didn’t want to leave Janeway alone, so she decided to wake her.

It took a few minutes before Janeway started to stir, but eventually she managed to open her eyes and look at her. “Hi,” Briles offered. “Time to get up and see if we can find something to eat or drink. Hopefully help is on the way, but we can’t count on it.”

She let Janeway just lay there for a few minutes while she tried to move her own body. It wasn’t easy after lying on the hard floor all night, and her back was so stiff she wasn’t sure it would ever move again, but she finally triumphantly reached a sitting position. She took a few minutes to check her body to see how badly she was cut, bruised or bleeding. Unfortunately her cuts and bruises were too numerous to count, but at least she wasn’t doing a lot of bleeding. She continued to move her muscles until she was on her hands and knees, and then she moved to where she could check over Janeway. As far as Heather could tell, except for a headache, cuts, bruises and her back hurting so much, she was otherwise fine.

The gash on Janeway’s forehead had mostly stopped bleeding, but she knew she had lost a lot of blood and quite likely had a concussion. There was an ugly gash on her cheek, and her right forearm had a nasty cut and huge bruise. Part of a ceiling beam must have fallen on it for a bruise to be that bad. She continued to look over Janeway’s form as she lay there trying to get herself together. She couldn’t tell about Janeway’s body, but when she got to her legs she noticed the odd angle of her left leg and evidence that it had bled quite a bit. Then she remembered the beam that had Janeway’s legs trapped when she tried to get her out. The leg was obviously broken and needed to be set, but she wasn’t in any condition to do it right now.

“Captain, I want to you take notice of where your body hurts. Let me know, OK?” she asked as she realized Janeway was already doing that. “Except for a bad back, I seem to be in pretty good shape, but I can’t tell if my back is broken, or just badly bruised. I need you to let me know what hurts on you.”

Kathryn concentrated for a few minutes then looked at Heather. “My head hurts like hell and my left leg. The rest of me hurts so much I can’t tell where one hurt ends and the next begins. I am especially noticing pain in my right arm and my ribs, but that’s just mixed in with the rest. Give me a few minutes and we’ll go look for food and water,” she continued.

“I know your left leg is broken so you won’t be going anywhere, but if you feel good enough to sit up, I found a phaser which I will give you to protect yourself while I’m gone. I won’t go far, but you should be able to protect yourself while you’re here alone. I don’t know if the aliens will come looking for us or not.”

Kathryn just nodded her acceptance of Heather’s plan and proceeded to try to raise herself into a sitting position. As she started to bend at her middle she let out a gasp of pain, but continued to push herself up until she was sitting. The pain brought her the realization that she had other serious injuries that she couldn’t identify because her whole body hurt so much. With Heather’s help she pushed herself to where her back was leaning against a bulkhead, and she reached for the phaser.

“I’ll protect the homestead until you get back,” she stated. Heather had to smile

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

Prototype 411 was making good time and all systems were running smoothly. B’Elanna and the prototype engineer, Lt. Reynolds, were comparing notes and she was learning all about the new cloak and upgraded warp drive. She had a few insightful suggestions to make, which Reynolds was smart enough to realize made sense, and she and Vorik took this opportunity to catch up on what the Federation developed in the way of engines while they were gone. The time passed quickly for the engineering department.

Miral Paris had her own special crib anchored to the wall of the Chief Engineer’s office so B’Elanna could keep an eye on her. But when she was in her crib B’Elanna discovered that everyone in the engineering department kept finding excuses to check on her. The Chief Engineer’s office was one busy place.

Owen Paris sat in the Captain’s chair feeling nothing but pride as he watched his son fly the ship. Tom picked up all the nuances of this ship so quickly that Owen couldn’t believe he was the same son he knew seven years ago. Again he said a silent prayer thanking Kathryn Janeway for saving Tom from himself and then giving him back to his family. He only hoped they would get to her and find her alive so he could thank her again in person. And then there was that beautiful granddaughter to thank her for.

Chakotay on the other hand could barely sit in his chair. His nerves were strung tighter than a violin and his fear and worry were eating him alive. Seven’s presence behind him was a constant reminder of what he did to Kathryn, and he wondered if she could ever forgive him. He still couldn’t figure out what made him respond to Seven’s suggestions for a date, and what made him go back for more. Sure she was beautiful, but she just wasn’t Kathryn and he was glad it was over, even if Kathryn would never speak to him again.

If Vulcans could be nervous, Tuvok was. Chakotay could swear that Tuvok was drumming his fingers on the sides of his console. For a Vulcan, Tuvok was probably on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Harry, on the other hand, looked like he was about to cry. His emotions were plastered all over his face and his worry evident to everyone. Chakotay felt a kindred spirit in Harry and tried his best to give him a reassuring smile. Judging from Harry’s unchanged expression, he didn’t succeed.

Owen was watching Chakotay as well as Tom and he could see what the big Indian was feeling. He was glad to see that the man loved Katie, but he was mad as hell at him for hurting her so badly. How could he ever compare Katie to that stoic Seven of Nine? He finally figured he just had a moment of weakness.

As the time passed the ship got closer and closer to Imbus. Owen was in constant touch with Starfleet Headquarters and found they had made no progress in persuading Imbus or Numma to send help to Ranger. They were on the verge of once again declaring war on each other.

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

It took Heather far longer than she hoped to find water. Of course her injuries kept her moving at a snail’s pace and she had to stop often for rest, but she finally located a small spring with fresh clean water. Her tricorder indicated it was safe so she filled the containers she brought with her. On the way to the spring she found several species of edible plants, so she knew she and the Captain wouldn’t starve, at least for today. Feeling satisfied with her day’s work, she headed back to Ranger.

Kathryn stayed alert as long as she could. The intense pain of her broken leg, coupled with her head injury made it difficult for her to focus. Her eyesight seemed to blur more and more often and it was getting harder to concentrate on what she was watching. She finally decided that she could do more good if she could get some of the ship’s systems working again, so she pulled herself up onto her good knee and somehow managed to drag herself over to one of the bridge’s consoles. This particular console still had a seat anchored to the floor in front of it, so she carefully pulled herself into it.

Her ribs stabbed at her as she moved, and she knew they were broken but she wasn’t about to tell Heather. She had enough on her mind without having to worry about her Captain. Only sheer determination had gotten her as far as the console so she set to work trying to see if she could restore any of the ship’s communications systems. Within a short period of time her eyesight was so blurred that she was having trouble seeing. ‘Maybe a short nap will help,’ she thought as she carefully laid her head on the console for a few minutes. Four hours later Heather found her like that and wondered how she ever managed to get there. ‘This is one amazing woman,’ she thought.

She decided to wake her since neither of them had anything to eat or drink in at least two days. It took a while for her to regain her senses, and while she was shaking her Captain she realized that Janeway felt very hot to the touch. ‘Fever,’ she thought. ‘She must have an infection.’

Kathryn finally woke up and realized who was shaking her. “Hi,” she whispered because her throat was so dry. “Did you find anything?”

Heather carefully helped Kathryn support herself in a sitting position and then offered her a container of water. She helped her hold the container to her lips so she could drink since her hands seemed to be shaking. “Slowly, drink slowly,” she encouraged as Janeway tried to gulp down the water. After a few minutes she had enough, so Heather then offered her something to eat. They couldn’t eat much, but at least it helped fill the empty space in the middle of each of them.

Once they finished eating Heather knew she needed to rest and she could tell that Kathryn needed rest too. She still couldn’t figure out how Janeway got herself from the edge of the ship over to the console, but she cleared a space for both of them on the floor near the console and helped her Captain there. It was a painful move for both of them, but once there they both lay down and were asleep immediately.

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

The Doctor spent the first day of their trip organizing the sickbay to his liking. He spent the second day composing a new aria and three poems he wanted to recite for Seven when her shift on the bridge was done. On the third day as they got closer to the moon where they hoped to find Ranger, Seven seemed to become more and more agitated and the Doctor finally asked her what was wrong.

“I am concerned that the Captain will be angry or upset with me for being with the Commander when she came to visit him that night. I am also wondering if I did anything wrong by asking the Commander for a date when I knew the Captain had feelings for him. Was it wrong of me to desire a relationship with the Commander when I now realize that he really wanted a relationship with the Captain?” Seven asked.

The Doctor didn’t know what to say. He realized that his own jealousy would influence his opinion, but he finally offered what comfort he could. “Seven, you did what you felt was right at the time, and the Commander accepted your proposal. Perhaps you could have chosen more wisely when you were looking for someone to explore your sexuality, but you can’t blame yourself for anything if the Commander also desired the same thing. You tried and found it wasn’t right for either you or him and now you’ve moved on. You learned something from your experience so it wasn’t really bad. I’m sure Captain Janeway will forgive you, especially if she listens to Commander Chakotay declare his love for her and decides to accept him. Besides, you now have me and I’m sure she’ll be happy for us.”

“I just hope we find her alive,” he continued as he worried once again about his captain and friend.

“As do I,” Seven added.

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

Prototype 411 entered orbit around the moon in less than the 3 days they originally planned. Admiral Paris was very pleased with the prototype’s efficiency and was ready to recommend that Starfleet incorporate this technology into more of its ships. The cloak worked perfectly and nobody even knew they were here.

Chakotay had his eyes glued to the scanners looking for any sign of the downed scoutship. Seven was also scanning while Tom and the Doctor were preparing and loading medical supplies onto the transporter pad so they would be ready when the ship was found. Harry had taken over the con so Tom could help the Doctor.

“There,” Chakotay cried as his scanners found the remains of the ship on the surface of the moon. I found the ship but I can’t detect any lifesigns. His face was a mask of fear and dread as he looked at Admiral Paris silently asking permission to beam down at once.

“Go,” Admiral Paris ordered as Chakotay rushed from the bridge and headed for the transporter room where Tom and the Doctor were waiting. Tuvok left with him, fully armed in case of trouble. Within minutes they materialized on the surface of the moon and headed for the ship.

“Wow,” was all Tom could say as he saw the destroyed ship. “I can’t believe anyone could pilot that through this terrain and have it that much intact. It should all be little tiny pieces, but someone did one hell of a job,” he continued as he started to scan for lifesigns.

They all stared in shock at the remains of the ship and wondered how anyone could have survived. “There’s no more deck two and very little deck three,” Tom stated as he moved toward the ship, “and I’m detecting bodies on decks one and four. Anyone on deck two would be pressed flat and we might never find anything but their DNA.”

“Wait!” he cried as he double-checked his tricorder. Two lifesigns on deck one. Let’s go.”

Chakotay reached the ship first and practically threw himself up onto the deck looking for any sign of Kathryn. ‘Please be alive Kathryn,’ Chakotay kept repeating to himself as dread clenched its fist around his stomach. He was closely followed by Tom and the Doctor who were both carrying medical equipment. Tuvok was scanning the area for any hostile signs or any other lifesigns from the ship.

It only took Chakotay a moment to locate the two people lying by a partially functioning console. They were both lying so still and he was almost afraid to approach in case he found something he didn't really want to find. But he quickly swallowed and rushed to their sides.

“Kathryn!” he exclaimed as he recognized one of the battered bodies as that of his friend and love. She looked awful as did the young woman lying beside her, but he quickly put his fingers along her throat and felt a pulse beating there. “Oh Kathryn,” he cried as he gently touched her cheek. It felt very hot to his touch, and she was so very pale under her cuts and bruises.

“Move aside Commander,” the Doctor ordered as he and Tom started taking out their equipment to scan the two people lying before them. “Check for anyone else,” the Doctor ordered as Chakotay only stood and looked at Kathryn.

“Here,” Tom said as he pushed his tricorder into Chakotay’s hands. It should only take you and Tuvok a few minutes to search the wreckage, and by the time you get back we’ll have a better idea of their conditions.”

Chakotay quickly obeyed so he could complete his search and return to Kathryn’s side. She looked so bad lying there and his heart was breaking. What if he never got to tell her how much he loved her?

Ten minutes later he was back reporting that everyone else was dead. Tom and the Doctor were working over their patients, both of whom were still unconscious but at least they had a better idea of their injuries.

“We have to get them both to sickbay immediately,” the Doctor ordered in his best no-nonsense voice. In only a minute or two they had the medical supplies packed up and the six of them beamed directly to sickbay.

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

Admiral Paris’ Vulcan aid, Lt. T’Para, was working late into the night, when a light mounted under his desktop started blinking and throwing red light over his legs that were under the desk. This signal was not detectable to anyone on the other side of his desk, but it effectively gave him silent notification that something was happening. Quickly locking the outer doors to the Admiral’s suite of offices, Lt. T’Para went into the Admiral’s inner sanctum and activated the equipment installed in a concealed closet.

As he watched events unfolding on the viewscreens, he felt a brief un-Vulcan sense of satisfaction that justice was about to be done. Checking that everything was caught on tape, the aid made a copy and proceeded to another area of the Admiral’s office where he quickly transmitted its contents to Prototype 411. He knew the Admiral would be pleased.

Carefully closing and locking all the access doors to this secret area, Lt. T’Para finished his work for the evening and left for home.

Three floors above Admiral Paris’ offices, Admirals Nechevev and Jos a’Han were discussing the success of their objective, the destruction of the peace between Numma and Imbus and the death of Captain Kathryn Janeway.

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

Chakotay had been pacing the Doctor’s small sickbay office for what seemed like hours waiting for the Doctor and Tom Paris to finish the surgery they were performing on Kathryn. Once they transported Kathryn and Heather Briles to sickbay and saw the extent of their injuries Chakotay almost broke down in tears. He was sure he would never get to tell her how much he loved her and he didn’t want her to die never knowing. Even the Doctor wasn’t sure if he would ever get his chance.

All the other members of the senior staff had come and gone looking for word of their Captain. Even Admiral Paris had been there several times, always ordering the Doctor to let him know as soon as he was finished. Chakotay was surprised at the tenderness in the Admiral’s face as he looked at Kathryn and gently held her hand to his chest.

Seven finally approached him to offer her support, and they spent some time talking, finally touching on their misguided relationship.

“I’m truly sorry that my presence at your home caused problems between you and the Captain, but I want you to know that I benefited from our experience. I learned that you and the Captain were meant to be together, while you and I would never have worked. I want to thank you for being so considerate and I would also like to talk to the Captain when she is better,” Seven stated in her matter-of-fact way. “Do you think she will talk to me?” she tentatively asked as if she was afraid that Kathryn really wouldn’t talk to her.

Chakotay could see the regret and concern in Seven’s eyes and he suddenly realized that this whole thing wasn’t really her fault. She just didn’t understand human relationships yet, and with Kathryn’s condition being so bad, she was experiencing fear as well.

“Yes, Seven, I’m sure Kathryn will talk to you as soon as she’s able. She isn’t the type of person to hold something like this against anyone and you know you’ve always been very special to her. Just give her some time,” Chakotay replied feeling sure he was conveying Kathryn accurately.

“I will, Commander, and please keep me informed of her condition. I care very much about her,” Seven finished as she turned and marched from sickbay.

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

Five hours later it was finally quiet in sickbay. The Doctor walked between the biobeds holding his two patients and was satisfied that both would make complete recoveries. Heather Briles did have a broken back, but fortunately for her there was no damage to the spinal cord. She also had a slight concussion and several internal injuries, mostly of a minor nature, but all in all she was one lucky woman. That beam saved her life and minimized many of her injuries. She would be able to return to duty within a few days.

Kathryn Janeway was not so lucky, but the Doctor was sure that she would make a full recovery as well. His main concern was her leg, which had been shattered and he was concerned that she might wind up with a limp. He was hoping that therapy would help but it would be a while before she walked normally. For now he had her leg encased in a medical forcefield to insure that nothing more would happen to it. Her internal injuries were massive – four broken ribs, one of which punctured a lung. She had damage to many of her internal organs from the weight of the beam falling on her, even though Commander Harden had deflected some of it. She had a severe concussion and some of the worst bruises he had ever seen. She was going to be very sore for a while and not happy about the therapy, but the Doctor was determined to do all he could for her.

Then there was her emotional state. The Doctor knew, of course, what happened the night the Captain discovered Seven in Chakotay’s bed. He knew through Admiral Paris how much this hurt her. And he could see how thin she had become because he knew she didn’t eat when she was upset. Seven years in the Delta Quadrant let him know this patient better than she knew herself, and he was worried. Would she let the Commander back into her life? Knowing her history of loss when it came to love, would she even consider it? He didn’t know.

As far as the Commander, the Doctor had to almost physically throw him out of sickbay after ten hours of sitting by her bed. If Tuvok hadn’t come to help, the Commander would still be here and the Doctor didn’t know how the Captain would react if he were here when she woke. Only time would tell.

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

Chakotay sat in Tom and B’Elanna’s quarters watching them play with Miral. They were so happy and this only intensified the pain he felt when he thought about Kathryn. She had finally come to offer her love and he turned her away. How could he ever forgive himself?

“Chakotay, it’s time you talk about this. It’s eating you alive,” B’Elanna stated as she tried to hand Miral to him. Chakotay was too distraught and refused to hold her, stating that he would most likely have her uptight in a matter of minutes.

“I love her so much and I hurt her so bad. I don’t know if she’ll ever talk to me again, and I deserve that for what I did. Seven? I can’t believe it was Seven?” Chakotay cried as he tried to relieve some of his pain. “I’m glad she and the Doctor are happy together.”

“Quite frankly, I can’t believe it was Seven either,” B’Elanna replied as she settled on the couch with Tom and Miral. “But it happened and we all have to face it. I think we all know Captain Janeway well enough to believe that she’ll forgive you. After all, she forgave you for Kellan, Riley Frazer and all the other aliens you were so fond of.” Chakotay groaned.

“Don’t worry Chakotay, as soon as she wakes up I’m sure the Doctor will let her know you want to see her and explain the situation. In fact, as impressed with himself as he is over his relationship with Seven, I’m sure she’ll understand thoroughly,” Tom added with a smile. “Keep the faith.”

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

Heather Briles regained consciousness shortly after the Doctor settled himself to write his reports on the health of his patients. She was saddened by the loss of her shipmates, but glad that Kathryn would recover. “She’s one special lady,” he informed the Doctor as she told the Doctor what happened since Ranger left spacedock.

“I can understand why the crew of Voyager were so loyal to her,” Heather told the Doctor. “Within a day she had put us all at ease and made us feel like a crew. But she was relentless on herself, never letting herself rest for more than short periods at a time, almost like she was afraid to stop. She even crawled through the Jeffries tubes so other crewmen wouldn’t have to. She must have realized the danger of the mission, but she never let on to any of us that it was more than a routine shuttling of an ambassador. But she always looked so sad and nothing any of us did could cheer her up, except for Temby. He could at least make her smile a little, and now he’s dead too. I hope she someday finds happiness.”

“We all hope that for her too,” the Doctor added. “At this point it’s up to her.”

Later that day Heather was released to her quarters with instructions not to report for duty for two more days.

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

The fog in her mind just wouldn’t clear up. Kathryn had been trying for some time to clear away the fog and open her eyes, but it just wasn’t working. She was warm and comfortable, but her eyes just wouldn’t open at her command. Finally it seemed to be getting lighter and she fought even harder to open her eyes. She won.

As her vision cleared she slowly tested herself by slowly turning her head to the right, then to the left where her eyes rested on the smiling face of Voyager’s EMH. “Doctor,” she whispered, as her voice wasn’t working quite right yet. “My crew?”

“How about – How am I doing, Doctor?” he said in exasperation as he realized what she was asking. He shouldn’t be surprised; she never asked about herself except ‘when can I get out of here.’ It drove him crazy because he found he really had come to care for his Captain, and her health and well being were very important to him. In fact, he admitted that he loved her almost like a father would love his favorite daughter, only he could never admit this to her or she would take full advantage of it and wrap him around her little finger. He knew his Captain.

“You and Heather Briles were the only ones who survived, and Heather was discharged from sickbay this morning,” the Doctor stated knowing he wouldn’t get anywhere with her until she knew how everyone else was. “Now, would you like to know about yourself?”

“Yes,” she whispered knowing that this was part of their game and feeling very comfortable with it.

“You’re a mess,” the Doctor finally said because he was too emotional at this point to say anything more. “But you’ll get better if you listen to me, which I know you won’t so why do I bother,” he continued as he threw his hands in the air. He did this in frustration because he knew how close they had really come to loosing her.

“Doctor, I care for you too,” Kathryn smiled at him. “But could you please be more concise. When can I get out of here?”

“I knew it! I’d have bet money on it. You wouldn’t ask what’s wrong, only when can I get out of here,” the Doctor ranted. “Well, Miss, it will be at least a week until I release you. When we get back to Earth you’ll be transferred to Starfleet Medical until your body is strong enough to cope with you as its owner. Look at you,” he continued to rant because this was the only way he could keep his emotions under control. “You’re too thin, your caffeine levels are off the scale, your leg is shattered and you’ll definitely need therapy, your insides were squashed to hell, you had a bad concussion, broken ribs, internal bleeding and injuries, and the deepest cuts and bruises I’ve ever seen. And you want to know when you can get out of here? Maybe never,” he finished finally having exorcised his demons.

Kathryn was shocked at first at the Doctor’s outburst, but as she listened to the list of her injuries she realized that the Doctor was just upset because he worried about her. She probably almost died and that would have sent him off the deep end too.

“I love you too,” she whispered with a smile. The Doctor was so overcome that he pulled her up and gathered her into a hug. He held her for just a few minutes until he felt better, then he gently lowered her back onto the bed.

“Thank you,” he replied with a smile.

“Now, if you’re up to it there’s someone here who is a basket case because he’s so worried about you. When we got your message from the beacon Commander Chakotay wanted to fly off by himself to rescue you, but Admiral Paris organized the rescue party and here we are. He’s so in love with you Captain, and he’s hurting over this whole thing so very much. Will you see him?” the Doctor inquired as he took her hand in his own.

Kathryn was surprised at this revelation and the Doctor could see the hurt come into her eyes at the mention of Chakotay’s name. “Before you decide, there’s something you should know,” he continued. The Doctor then proceeded to tell her about what happened between Seven and Chakotay, and then what happened between Seven and himself. He told her how happy they were and that he planned to eventually ask Seven to marry him.

Kathryn listened to his story in silence, absorbing all the facts. But when she examined her feelings she still couldn’t see Chakotay, the hurt was still raw and bleeding. “I’d rather not see anyone, if you don’ mind. I’m rather tired,” she continued and she was telling the truth. Within minutes she was fast asleep.

The Doctor only sighed and proceeded to relay the message to the crowd he was sure was just waiting on the other side of the sickbay doors.

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

When Kathryn woke in sickbay the next morning she was surprised to find a piece of paper lying beside her on the bed. The Doctor wasn’t there, so she opened the folded paper and proceeded to read the handwritten poem. It read…….

Every night as I go to bed,

I see a vision in my head,

An angel comes from up above,

To show to me the truth of love.

This angel of mine with eyes so blue,

Has hair of fire, and purpose true,

And when she smiles the world is bright,

But love must wait till the time is right.

But then I strayed for I never knew,

That my angel’s love was oh so true,

I loved another, or so I believed,

And turned my back on my angel in her time of need.

I hurt her so, this angel of mine,

A gift from the Gods, her love so divine,

I know now that our love is true,

Oh help me God, what can I do?

I need my angel, and love her so,

But she hurts so much and can’t let go,

I need her to know she’s the love of my life,

And I want to ask her to be my wife.

If she’ll forgive my mistake and come back to me,

We’ll walk together through life no matter what may be,

And never again through all the years

Will I ever cause my angel’s tears.

I love you, Kathryn.

Chakotay

When she was done reading the poem Kathryn could feel the tears running down her cheeks. Did he really feel that way? Is it possible that this was just a mistake and that he really did want her? She didn’t know and was afraid to reach out. She knew she just couldn’t take anymore hurt and if she reached out to him she was leaving herself open to a hurt she knew would kill her.

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

“We’re dead in the water,” Admiral Paris announced to his bridge crew. “What happened?”

Prototype 411 had been functioning perfectly, but last night they started to have problems with the new warp drive, and they had to take warp offline and slow to impulse. This morning the impulse engines started to fail, and the engineering staff couldn’t figure out what was wrong. They were two days away from Earth at warp 9.9, so it would take a lesser vessel even longer to reach them.

“It might be the fuel,” B’Elanna finally offered. “We really pushed the engines to get to Imbus and maybe there was a problem with the intermix. We need the facilities of a starbase to test our theories so we’ll need to ask for a tow.”

“Agreed,” Admiral Paris acknowledged as he went to make the call.

Two hours later he received word that help was on the way. Voyager was being taken out of spacedock where she was being refitted and sent to pick up her Captain and staff. Much of the rest of the fleet was being put on alert and sent to patrol the neutral zone near Romulan space because Numma and Imbus had restarted their war and the Romulans were threatening to get involved. It would be four days before Voyager could reach them as they were not in the normally traveled space lanes and couldn’t be because Prototype 411 was still a classified project. In fact, they were in a little known part of the Alpha Quadrant because it was devoid of planets and there was no reason to explore it thoroughly. This area was mainly used to test prototypes, if it was used at all.

Kathryn was making a slow recovery and still wouldn’t see anyone but Admiral Paris, Heather Briles, and Tom and B’Elanna. Chakotay was very upset but refused to push the matter, still wallowing in his guilt. Tom and B’Elanna kept him updated on her condition. The Doctor would periodically ask her if she would see anyone else, and she still refused.

When she heard that Prototype 411 was having problems, the Doctor had to threaten to sedate her to keep her from leaving sickbay to help. Once she tried to get up, she realized the truth of his statements that she wasn’t ready, so she acquiesced. She could hardly move without severe pain, let alone stand all by herself.

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

Admiral Paris’ aid, T’Para, stood in front of Admirals Hayes, Beekley and K’Linn with the tape in his hand. Admiral Paris was on the viewscreen updating them with the information they had gathered about Admirals Necheyev and Jos a’Han and he was demanding a full investigation into this matter. T’Para slipped the tape into a viewer and the full conspiracy was revealed. Necheyev and Jos a’Han were instrumental in the resumption of the war between Numma and Imbus because they were afraid if peace came to these two worlds, that Starfleet’s usefulness in the quadrant would be minimized, and they didn’t want to lose any of their power. In fact, they paid mercenaries to attack Ranger hoping that both planets would blame the other and resume their war.

Both were powerful Admirals, especially during wartime, and with peace so close they were afraid they would lose their power. Neither wanted that to happen and were willing to instigate a war to keep it from happening.

Also Necheyev admitted on the tape that she hated Kathryn Janeway because Kathryn’s father always took Kathryn along on his test flights, leaving Alynna manning a console on whatever planet or space station was monitoring the flight. Alynna Necheyev felt that as an important member of Edward Janeway’s design team it was her place to go on these flights, not some upstart daughter of her boss. She was jealous of Captain Janeway’s popularity since Voyager returned to the Alpha Quadrant and didn’t want any competition for her power. She saw Janeway as a threat, a competitor for her position, and she would do anything to stop that. She would even go as far as killing Janeway to keep it from happening, and she thought she had been successful. She felt the loss of Ranger and her crew a small price to pay for her power.

Admiral Paris then informed his colleagues that Captain Janeway was still alive and recovering in his sickbay. The other admirals were glad of this and wished him well. They promised to a full investigation into this matter, and if all checked out (and they thought it would) have Necheyev and Jos a’Han arrested and tried for their crimes.

Admiral Paris was satisfied.

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

The next morning when Kathryn woke, still in sickbay, she was surprised to see two beautiful peace roses tied with a yellow ribbon lying on the bed beside her. Peace roses, she thought as she reached out for them. She knew who put them there and why. She could feel the tears forming as she brought them to her nose to smell their fragrance. When was he here? He must have sneaked in when the Doctor was offline, or maybe the Doctor allowed it since she was sleeping and she knew he felt she should see Chakotay. She knew that the flowers pulled at her heartstrings, then she reached for the poem that she kept beside her bed and re-read it’s lovely words. Were they words from the heart? Could she take another chance? Did she have any more tears to cry?

“Ahhh, you’re awake,” the Doctor beamed as he leaned over her with his ever-present scanner. “What lovely roses,” he stated as he looked hard at them. “I wonder where they came from.”

‘He knows, the sneaky devil,’ Kathryn thought as she watched him closely.

“You’re looking better today,” he continued as he bustled around her. “How about we sit up and try some breakfast this morning? But I must warn you, until your body is stronger – NO COFFEE. Did you hear me – NO COFFEE.”

“I heard you, Doctor, but do you think I could use the bathroom first? I could use a shower to make me feel more human. I would enjoy my breakfast more if I could shower and maybe brush my teeth.”

“Ahhh, now I know you’re on the road to recovery. Well, I can’t let you put any weight on your leg, but I’ll carry you there and you can do what you must. Only don’t put any weight on your left leg yet, it’s not fully healed. Understand? And you’re going to be very sore, the rest of your body is still healing.”

“Yes, I understand,” Kathryn replied as the Doctor slipped his holographic arms under her body and carried her to the bathroom. Her body did hurt more than she cared to admit, but she’d never let the Doctor know. But he knew, he could see it on her face.

He left her just inside the facility with orders to use the handrails and call him when she was finished. He also provided her with a new toothbrush, fresh towels and a fresh sickbay gown. She would rather have had her uniform pants and t-shirt, but she knew that would be pushing.

In less than half an hour she was finished and the Doctor appeared to carry her back to her bed. Breakfast was waiting for her and she found she was a little hungry. She couldn’t eat half of what he provided though, but she had to admit that the tea he provided in lieu of coffee wasn’t too bad. And the best part was he didn’t push her to clean her plate.

“This isn’t bad tea, Doctor, I could almost get used to it,” she smiled.

“Commander Chakotay provided that for you, it has healing properties so you should thank him,” the Doctor responded watching her carefully. “If you like I could call him down here. In fact, if you’ll see him he could help me with the therapy on your leg.”

“Doctor……..,” she warned giving him ‘the look’, “I’ll think about it.”

“Let me know,” he said as he took her tray. “Now rest for a little while and then we’ll see about light therapy for your leg. You’re not well enough for the full treatment.”

Kathryn obediently lay back down and was quickly asleep. It seemed her body was telling her that she needed rest, and she was unable to fight it. But her dreams were invaded by the handsome face of her First Officer holding out his arms to her, inviting her to come to him.

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

Lt. William Gallagher was put in command of Voyager since all the senior staff was unavailable to go on the rescue mission. He didn’t know where they were, but his orders were clear, proceed to coordinates 113 mark 247 and pick up the crew of a stranded prototype ship. Voyager was to use her newly enhanced tractor beam to tow the stranded vessel back to Earth.

He had no idea what the ship looked like, or how many were on the crew of this stranded ship, but he was a good Starfleet officer and willing to follow orders. His only concern was that there was no doctor aboard, only a medic, but Starfleet told him not to worry, that it would be taken care of.

His crew consisted of all the original Voyager crew who remained in Starfleet plus six new recruits who had been assigned while Voyager was being refitted. They figured it would take almost four days to reach the prototype if they traveled at warp 7, and six days to tow it back traveling at warp 5. Gallagher was under orders to go as fast as possible, but not to push the engines as they had been refitted but not tested.

Voyager’s refit wasn’t complete, in fact it was only about one-half finished. But the ship was in good shape and had proved herself over and over again in the Delta Quadrant, so Lt. Gallagher wasn’t worried. There seemed to be a problem with the warp core, the warp signature was off by .21 Cochrans, but the Engineering crew was working on that. All in all, Voyager was doing very well and Gallagher was pleased.

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

Chakotay approached Kathryn’s biobed cautiously holding a large bouquet of red roses. She appeared to be sleeping, but he wasn’t really sure. The Doctor had contacted him two minutes ago telling him that she agreed to see him, and he fairly flew down the hall to sickbay after quickly replicating the flowers. He was anxious to see her and had worried himself sick about her condition. She looked awful when they found her, and he was aware of how badly she was injured.

The Doctor was kind enough to keep him updated on her condition, and was good enough to look the other way when Chakotay made his midnight forays into sickbay to leave her the poem and the flowers. He only stayed a moment to look at her and gently touch her hair, hand or face. It made him feel a little better to watch her breathing and see the bruises and cuts fade as they healed. His heart was breaking because he couldn’t gather her up and hold her, but he was willing to settle for what he could get and hope for the rest.

When she initially refused to see him, he was devastated but expected no less. What he did to her was unforgivable and he still couldn’t wipe the image of the hurt he caused from his memory. Her face the night she found out about him and Seven still haunted his dreams. Her tears, which she wouldn’t let him see then, were the tears of his angel, the love of his life and he wanted her to understand what she meant to him.

As he stood looking down at her he heard her softly say, “Hi.”

“Hi, yourself,” he replied. “How are you feeling? These are for you,” he said as her eyes opened and he handed her the flowers.

“They’re lovely,” she replied as she struggled to move her body into an upright position. She still hurt and it was difficult, but Chakotay was afraid to help in case she didn’t want him to touch her. It hurt him to see her in pain, and when she looked up at him she could see it written plainly on his face.

“I could use a little help,” she offered and watched as his face brightened and the dimpled smile she loved so much appeared. He was so gentle as he helped her sit up that it almost reduced her to tears. But as his hands help raise her body and move it into a more comfortable position, he was amazed at how thin she was under the sickbay gown. He could feel her ribs and the bones of her shoulders as she moved, and this made him feel sad because he knew he was the cause of this.

“They’re beautiful,” she smiled as she hid her face in the flowers. “There’s a vase in the cabinet beside the bed, would you get it for me?”

“Kathryn, I want to let you know how sorry I am for what happened,” Chakotay began, thinking the sooner he got this over with, the better. He carefully put the vase close to her so she could arrange the flowers in it as he talked and he seated himself in the chair beside her bed. “I don’t know why I ever thought I had feelings for Seven, because I don’t. I’ve known for years that I love you and feel that you’re the other half of my soul, but I guess I just gave up hope knowing that we couldn’t act on our feelings while we were in the Delta Quadrant.”

“I dreamed of being with you for years and still do, and that dream kept me going through all the rough times. I never thought we would get home so suddenly, and when Seven approached me about going on a date I guess I was just taken off-balance so I said yes. One thing led to another and she was trying to explore her humanity, so I tried to help her. It didn’t take long for us to realize that this was a mistake, but by then the damage was done.”

“Oh, Kathryn……, I’m so sorry for hurting you. I’d sooner die that be the cause of your pain. Can you please find it in your heart to forgive me?” he pleaded as tears ran down his cheeks. He had taken her hand into his own while he was talking and now he held it against his heart, hoping she would realize that his words did come from his heart.

Kathryn didn’t know what to do. Her heart and soul were crying out for this man, and she wanted so badly to just throw herself into his arms and feel safe for the rest of her life, but her mind was warning her that another hurt would be more than she could bear. What should she do? She was well known for her propensity to take chances, but could she take another chance with her already bleeding heart?

Chakotay mistook her hesitation for rejection and felt himself falling apart. He stood up quickly preparing to leave so he wouldn’t force anything on her and break apart right beside her bed. “Kathryn, I’m sorry, I’ll leave now,” he whispered as he turned to go. “I do love you.”

He had taken only two steps away from her bed when he heard her softly call, “Wait, please wait, Chakotay. Don’t go.”

He turned and looked at her face, trying to find the answers he was seeking. He saw her beautiful blue eyes overflowing and the tears running down her cheeks, and he saw the fear in her eyes as well. But as he watched in fascination, he saw her come to a decision as her arms lifted into the air, inviting him to come to her. She was willing to take another chance. She was willing to trust him again.

“Oh, Kathryn!” he cried as he lifted her from her bed, being careful of her injuries and the forcefield cast on her leg. He sat back down on the chair, cradling her on his lap as she put her arms around his neck and buried her face in his chest and sobbed. He could feel her tears soaking through his shirt. Tears were running down his cheeks as well, but all he wanted to do was hold her tight and never let her go.

“I love you,” he whispered over and over through his tears.

“I love you too, Chakotay.”

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

“Voyager to Prototype 411,” was finally heard on the bridge of the prototype. Admiral Paris was relieved they were finally there because the ship was in danger of losing its cloak. If it did they would be easy prey for anyone wanting a piece of secret Starfleet’s latest technology. He quickly informed Voyager of his position since the prototype wasn’t visible with her cloak up.

Word came from his aid that Admirals Necheyev and Jos a’Han had been charged with treason and conspiracy to commit murder for their actions regarding Numma and Imbus, as well as their plans to send Janeway and her crew to their almost certain deaths. Starfleet wasn’t being lenient in this case because the resumption of hostilities between the two planets killed any chance of their joining the Federation and providing strategic outposts for keeping their eye on the Romulans. Also Captain Kathryn Janeway was currently Starfleet’s golden girl and if the public found out that Starfleet had any part in her death, there would be irreparable damage to Starfleet’s reputation. Admiral Paris was sure that Starfleet would throw the book at them, and was planning on being there to testify himself.

Within six hours all of Voyager’s officers and crew had been transferred back to Voyager, leaving only Admiral Paris, Heather Briles and the skeleton crew aboard the prototype. Lt. Gallagher was amazed to find the senior officers and part of Voyager’s crew on board the prototype, but knew better than to ask questions. Once Voyager’s crew was back aboard, he quickly turned command over to Commander Chakotay and reported to his duty station.

Kathryn had been transferred to Voyager’s sickbay where the Doctor felt more comfortable treating her. The Prototype had a state of the art sickbay, but it was very small and didn’t have nearly as much equipment as Voyager. And he was going to need the equipment for her therapy, which she was soon to experience for the first time. She was not going to be happy but he knew he had the upper hand if she ever wanted to walk normally again.

Kathryn wasn’t happy about being confined to sickbay, especially since she was back on board Voyager. She was her Captain after all and she tried her best to convince the Doctor to allow her to go to the bridge, even for a short while. He refused since she wasn’t in any condition to do much of anything, especially anything physical.

Under the command of Chakotay, Voyager activated her newly renovated tractor beam and started towing the prototype towards Earth. The crew were happily settling into a routine and making the newly appointed crewmembers feel welcome. The family had come together again.

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

“I’m going to delete him,” a sweating Kathryn Janeway threatened as Chakotay supported her during her first therapy session. This was the first time the Doctor allowed her to put weight on her broken leg, and it was over a week since the shuttle crash. Her other injuries were mostly healed, just a few aches and pains where internal injuries and broken ribs were still mending.

“Now Captain, you must complete the session or it won’t be effective,” the Doctor cajoled. “You can do this.” He knew it was painful for her and he also knew that she didn’t like to show weakness. But right now she was as weak as the proverbial kitten and her leg was going to need to be used in order to ever be right again. Not only did he have to rebuild a badly shattered bone, but he also had to repair muscles and ligaments that were crushed and severed by the beam.

He considered himself lucky that Commander Chakotay was there to help. Over the last two days since the Captain allowed him back into her life, they had become almost inseparable and the Commander even wanted to sleep in sickbay with the Captain. The Doctor was forced to order him from sickbay to get a good night’s sleep, and he took his duty shifts reluctantly. But meals were another thing. Once Chakotay realized how much weight Kathryn had really lost, he insisted that they eat together so he could monitor that she ate good meals. The Doctor agreed only because it was one less fight for him. “Captains make the worst patients,” he muttered under his breath.

“I heard that, Doctor” Kathryn said as she struggled with the next step. “And wipe that stupid grin off your face before I reprogram you with a permanent ear-to-ear grimace. She was getting more and more frustrated because her leg just wouldn’t do what she wanted. It hurt and wouldn’t support her weight no matter how many times her mind ordered it to obey. Only Chakotay’s hands around her waist kept her from crashing to the ground with every step. She was tired, sweating from her efforts and hurting, and that stupid Doctor wouldn’t let her stop and rest.

“Just a five minute rest?” she asked of Chakotay hoping to get more sympathy from him. “Let me sit right here for just five minutes and then I’ll try again, I promise,” she wheedled not really thinking it would work. “Doctor Demented doesn’t realize how tired I am, please Chakotay.”

It broke his heart to say no to her, but it was for her own good. “Tell you what,” he offered, “you finish this round of therapy and I’ll ask the Doctor to allow you one cup of coffee. What do you say, will you do this? You have to do this Kathryn, or you’ll never walk right again. Please, do it for me.”

Throwing the Doctor another death glare she gritted her teeth and stumbled forward toward her goal, three times around sickbay on the path the Doctor marked for her.

The Doctor remained silent and continued watching her progress, looking for any signs of stress or the leg not responding as it should for the state it was in. Sometimes silence was truly golden.

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

Once everyone was back on board, Voyager’s crew had all come to sickbay to see their Captain and wish her well. She was truly moved by their caring and support and this gave her strength to persevere with her therapy.

Today was her second day, and it wasn’t going much better than the first day. Chakotay still had to hold her upright as her body wouldn’t do it for her yet. Her middle still hurt and she was so stiff. And damn it all, this walking really hurt and the Doctor just wouldn’t listen.

“I swear I’ll delete his mean streak and maybe turn him into a caffeine addict. Then we’ll see how much coffee there is in sickbay. If he’s addicted he’ll prescribe it to everyone as medicinal and maybe then I can have some too,” Kathryn ranted as she worked on her first lap around sickbay. “Maybe I’ll even turn him into a woman and then we’ll see how well his love life goes,” she muttered as Chakotay laughed at her.

“Don’t laugh, Mister,” she threatened. “Maybe I’ll program him to sing opera to you all night and then we’ll see how much sleep you get.”

Chakotay continued to laugh. He knew Kathryn wouldn’t do anything at all to the Doctor because she really cared for him. This was her pain and frustration talking, but at least she kept moving as she threatened. Maybe she was using it as a crutch to keep her walking. But the Doctor was cowering behind one of the sickbay consoles giving Kathryn a wary eye every time she came close to a computer terminal. ‘My God, she really has him buffaloed,’ he thought. The thought was highly amusing.

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

Four days passed since Voyager started towing Prototype 411. B’Elanna still hadn’t figured out why the warp drive was off by .21 Cochrans, but she had figured a way for Voyager to adapt to the new cloaking technology, if they ever got it from Starfleet.

Suddenly the ships started shaking and rolling, still locked together by the tractor beam. They recently entered an unfamiliar part of space trying to take a shortcut to get back to Earth. Few ships had ever entered this area as it was devoid of planets or any other stellar phenomena, but it had uncategorized properties unlike most other parts of space in the Alpha Quadrant.

Something was putting stress on the ships, but nobody could figure it out. It was definitely something relating to this area of space.

In sickbay, Kathryn Janeway was having a fit. “I have to get to the bridge Doctor, we’re in trouble,” she insisted, but the Doctor still refused to let her go. She wasn’t well enough yet and wouldn’t be ready for another two weeks at least. With all the rolling and rocking the ship was doing he finally activated the biobed’s restraints to keep her from falling off or escaping while his back was turned, and this didn’t make her happy as she was now effectively trapped on the bed.

Chakotay immediately left for the bridge when the trouble began, and was keeping Kathryn informed about what was happening via her combadge. “There’s some kind of gravimetric pull that we can’t figure out, and it’s disrupting the tractor beam. We’re losing our hold on the prototype ship. I think the tractor beam is intensifying the gravimetric pull. I’m sending you the data Seven is collecting on the gravimetric waves and unusual radiation that’s forming in this area. It looks like they’re forming a wormhole. Take a look and see if you can come up with a solution. We’re busy here trying to keep Voyager in one piece and keep track of the prototype,” Chakotay finished.

The Doctor pulled a portable console over to Kathryn’s bed and she set to work on the figures. They all knew her scientific mind could make sense of these incomprehensible numbers if anyone could, and the Doctor knew that this was keeping her from fretting about her ship. She was finally doing something to help.

Voyager kept trying to lock the tractor beam onto Prototype 411, but just couldn’t keep hold of the ship. It was tumbling further and further away despite their best efforts to lock on. The prototype was still on their sensors, but out of visual range, especially with the eddies of radiation that were forming around Voyager.

It only took a few minutes for Kathryn to discern the pattern, and once she did it was frightening. “Oh, no, not again,” she whispered as she tapped her combadge.

“Janeway to Chakotay. CUT THE TRACTOR BEAM NOW! CUT THE BEAM AND GET VOYAGER OUT OF HERE!” she almost shouted into her combadge. “DOCTOR, YOU HAVE TO GET ME TO THE BRIDGE.”

Seeing immediately what she was pointing to on her console, the Doctor slapped on his mobile emitter, deactivated the forcefield and gathered his Captain into his arms. The sickbay doors almost didn’t open in time for him to carry the Captain through them.

“Acknowledged,” Chakotay responded as he tightly gripped his chair and gave the order to Tuvok to cut the beam. Voyager was being tossed around and everyone was frantically trying to hold onto something. As the bridge crew watched in horror, the gravimetric waves and the Betryn radiation that had been forming throughout the area joined and started forming a twisting swirling pattern. Voyager was being sucked in, and there was no sign of the prototype. All control was gone and they were at the mercy of the eddies.

“We’re going in – I can’t stop it,” Tom Paris cried from the helm as he continued his fight with the controls, trying to get enough power to maneuver them out of harm’s way.

Just then the turbolift doors opened and the Doctor rushed onto the bridge with the Captain in his arms. He quickly deposited her into her captain’s chair where she proceeded to grab the arms to keep herself steady.

“Red alert,” Janeway ordered hoping the shields would protect the ship from whatever was happening. “Status,” she ordered as her officers all proceeded to give her quick versions of their status.

“Mr. Paris, turn the nose twenty degrees to port. That should give us some stability. Tuvok, reroute power to the forward shields and configure the deflector to emit anti-nadian particles. We’re not going to be able to break free, but we can minimize damage,” Janeway stated as she continued to hold onto her chair and study her console. The Doctor stood in front of her to help keep her steady.

As they watched in horror Voyager was sucked into the swirling mass and started spinning along with the eddies. Swirling blue, purple, red and black gasses surrounded them, and there was nothing else in sight. The crew grabbed onto whatever they could to keep themselves from being tossed around. The spinning became faster and faster, but it wasn’t turbulent and Voyager’s shields held. The ride seemed to go on forever, like a theme park ride, and before long the spinning was so fast that the crew was rendered unconscious. Only the Doctor on the bridge was awake to see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel and none of them felt it when Voyager shot out of the end of the wormhole and it collapsed behind them.

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

Prototype 411 was being tossed around like a ship in a storm on the ocean, which in effect is what they were. They were constantly being pushed further and further away from Voyager, and with their main engines offline, they couldn’t stop it.

“Engineering, I need warp drive NOW,” Admiral Paris cried into his combadge. “Voyager is being pulled into the wormhole created by that gravimetric storm.”

“I’m sorry Admiral, I can give you impulse but not warp,” Lt. Briles responded from Engineering where she had been put in charge because of her expertise. “We have our hands full keeping the shields up and the other systems working. We’re taking a beating. I suggest we use our impulse engines to get away from that storm.”

“Voyager is being sucked into that storm. WE HAVE TO GET THEM BACK! WE HAVE TO HELP THEM!” Paris was shouting as he realized he was about to lose his son, daughter-in-law and granddaughter just when they were a family again, and Kathryn Janeway, his prodigy who meant as much to him as a daughter. But Briles couldn’t get them the power they needed to help Voyager, and the crew on the bridge of Prototype 411 could only watch in horror as Voyager finally disappeared into the eye of the storm.

“We’re free of the pull of the storm,” the tactical officer reported from his station as he monitored the sensors, “but Voyager is gone. I’m trying to track her but there’s nothing to track, Sir. The storm is rapidly dissipating.”

The sobs of Admiral Paris could be heard all over the bridge as he collapsed back into his chair.

“Taking us home, Sir,” the conn officer reported as he took it upon himself to set a course for Earth.

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

Chakotay slowly lifted his head and looked around not knowing what to expect. He was slumped in his chair on the bridge, and the other members of the bridge crew were either slumped in their chairs or lying on the floor by their stations. Everyone was starting to come around, some more quickly than others. Some consoles were emitting sparks and a few overhead conduits were swinging from the ceiling displaying damaged circuits. The ship was still at red alert and the pulsing of the red lighting cast an eerie glow, making the bridge seem like a version of hell.

Chakotay spent a few minutes trying to gather his foggy thoughts to determine what happened.

“Kathryn!” he cried as he turned his head. Kathryn was still unconscious and slumped in her chair, but the Doctor was running a tricorder over her. “She’ll be OK, she’s just unconscious,” he reassured Chakotay.

As his mind finally cleared and Chakotay realized what happened, he started giving orders. Except for Kathryn, all the other bridge crew were returning to their stations.

“Harry and Tuvok, find out where we are. Tom, test the conn to determine if we have helm control. B’Elanna, what’s your status and the status of the ship? I want damage and injury reports as soon as they come in,” he directed this order at Harry Kim. All orders were quickly carried out.

“Commander, I believe the Captain’s strategy worked. Voyager is not badly damaged and none of the crew are reporting serious injuries, only minor ones,” Tuvok reported as he continued to receive damage reports from other areas of the ship. “Our shields held.”

“Kathryn,” Chakotay reached over to touch her arm. “Kathryn, wake up.”

She finally moaned and slowly regained consciousness. The first thing she saw was Chakotay’s smiling face looking down at her

What happened?” she asked as she gathered her thoughts. “Where are we?”

“We were pulled into what I believe to be a wormhole and have now been thrown out the other end. We don’t know where we are, but everyone was rendered unconscious during the ride. How do you feel?”

The Doctor again scanned his patient and reported to the worried Commander. “It most likely took her longer to regain consciousness because of her recent head injury, but I believe she is fine now. So if you’ll excuse me I have patients to help. I’ll allow you to sit in this chair for one hour Captain, no more and no getting up. Commander, I expect you to return her to sickbay in one hour.”

“Agreed,” Chakotay smiled as he touched Kathryn’s hand and then returned to his seat to check the reports appearing on his screen.

“Commander, the viewscreen is now operational and I’ve gotten a fix on our location,” Harry Kim reported from Ops. “We’re in the Gamma Quadrant, ninety thousand light years from Earth.”

Everyone just stared in shock at the viewscreen that displayed unfamiliar stars. An Ensign manning a science station behind Harry finally murmured, “Not again.”

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

Three weeks passed during which time Voyager managed to limp to an M-class planet not far from where they exited the wormhole. The Captain ordered them to land on the uninhabited planet where repairs to the ship were conducted. Voyager was not nearly as badly damaged as she was after her unorthodox trip to the Delta Quadrant, most likely because of her enhanced shields. The injuries to the crew were all minor and this time there were no deaths.

The family of Voyager was again lost in space. B’Elanna finally determined that the tractor pulse frequencies and super-charged omicron particles given off by Voyager’s own enhanced tractor beam, combined with the cloaking modulations being used for Prototype 411’s new cloak added to the properties of the unstable space they had just entered. This started the gravimetric distortions. The continued use of the combination of technologies in this unstable space gave the storm fuel to grow, and when the storm reached gigantic proportions Prototype 411 tried to initialize their new warp drive in order to have the power to help Voyager. Initializing the drive failed but it gave off highly charged warp emissions. The frequency of these emissions combined with the other instabilities caused the storm to form a wormhole that locked onto the residue of Voyager’s tractor beam and pulled her in.

For the first two weeks of their stay on the planet, the Doctor kept Kathryn confined to sickbay, much to her dismay. Her therapy proceeded slowly because of the extent of the damage to her leg, but with her ship in trouble she threw herself into it with a vengeance. Chakotay was there to help with the therapy and their relationship grew. She still ran the ship from her bed, and therefore knew everything that was going on. She just wasn’t allowed to leave sickbay because the Doctor knew she would be all over the ship and crawling through Jeffries tubes before he could blink twice. Her leg just couldn’t take it.

“Kathryn, please tell me that our situation won’t affect our relationship,” Chakotay pleaded as he sat by her bed going over the latest reports. He was worried about this and hesitated to talk to her about it because he was afraid of her answer. She was after all the Captain, and protocol stood in their way for seven long years in the Delta Quadrant. They were just finding their way to each other and their love was growing by leaps and bounds. He didn’t want to lose what they suffered so much to gain.

Kathryn just finished her last therapy session and was resting on the biobed waiting for the Doctor to give her the final checkup before he released her from sickbay. She immediately recognized the fear in Chakotay’s voice – fear she was experiencing herself. She remembered all the times she didn’t allow herself to follow her heart, and that it almost cost her the most important thing in her life. The pain of that loss was still fresh in her heart and mind. She didn’t want to lose this man again, and they were now ninety years from home. If it took the whole ninety years to get back, her life would be over or almost over and she knew she didn’t want to spend it all alone.

“Chakotay, I can’t lose you again. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life without you, but I must still be the Captain. I want our relationship to go forward, not be put on hold for the next ninety years. I love you,” she said as she brushed her fingers gently over his tattoo.

“Oh Kathryn,” he cried in relief as he reached out and pulled her closer, “I love you too. We’ll take it at your pace as long as the pace goes forward and not backward, but remember that I’ve been patient for a long time.” His lips finally claimed hers.

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

At the end of the third week Voyager was ready to leave the planet and head for home. Kathryn calculated the fastest route to the stable wormhole that would take them to Bajor, and this was a journey of at least thirty years. There were no known Borg in the Gamma Quadrant, but there were the Founders and she wasn’t sure if they were friends or enemies after the recent war. Starfleet hadn’t given her much of a debriefing on the political situation in the Alpha Quadrant, as they were so intent on debriefing her on the Delta Quadrant.

And after she discovered Chakotay and Seven together she was so focused on getting away on a mission that she didn’t take the time to research politics. She decided it was best to avoid the Founders if possible, but who knew what races they would bump into as no Starfleet vessel had been this far into the Gamma Quadrant before.

Kathryn was true to her word, and she and Chakotay were now known as a couple among their crew. To her amazement everyone’s reaction was ‘what took you so long’.

“They’re all for us,” she said to Chakotay as they were having dinner and she heard this phrase for probably the one-hundredth time.

“Didn’t you know how hard they tried to get us together in the Delta Quadrant?” Her negative response surprised him.

~~~~ a Y a ~~~~

As the crew took their places on the bridge and prepared to take off from the planet, Chakotay arrived for duty and placed a beautiful red rose on Kathryn’s chair. Everyone smiled as they waited for her to make her first official appearance on the bridge as Captain since Voyager returned to Earth. The Doctor finally released her to full duty, and she was ready to get started.

The sound of the turbolift doors opening brought everyone to attention. “Captain on the bridge,” intoned Harry Kim as he stood at stiff attention.

Kathryn took a moment to look around and savor the feeling of being back, even if it was a difficult situation. She looked around at her faithful crew, her family, with love and affection written all over her face. When her eyes landed on Harry, she smiled and her eyes twinkled. “Harry, at ease before you sprain something.” The crew erupted into laughter as Harry’s face turned red. But when he saw the laughter in her eyes, he relaxed and laughed too.

As Kathryn stepped down to her chair she spied the rose on her seat and immediately knew who put it there. Smiling brightly she lifted the rose to smell it’s fragrance and then she reached out her hand to Chakotay. With an ear-to-ear smile he reached for her hand and entwined their fingers for a brief moment. The crew cheered, fully accepting their situation and their command team’s choice.

Once the cheers died down and everyone was at their stations, Kathryn slowly seated herself into her captain’s chair and gave the order to lift off the surface of the planet. Lt. Paris quickly followed the order and Voyager attained orbit within minutes.

“Mr. Paris,” Captain Janeway ordered, “set a course……. for home.”

The End

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