THE LIBRARY AT MARIANAT

Scene Four

Suddenly we hear pure cacophony---an explosion of noise and music that literally rattles the theater. Then the curtains part, and we are on a street in a city. Once again everything resembles a street in a city as we know it today, but it's slightly distorted. There are a series of shops upstage, a curious amalgamation of ancient Rome and present-day America. CITIZENS mill about, shouting, yelling, and threatening each other.

There are three raised platforms, and on each is a PERFORMER---a FEMALE in the center, a MALE on either side. Below them are individual BAND MEMBERS playing curious-looking instruments, and each with a different song. From the right, the GROUP IN WHITE appears, this time carrying signs reading THE FEAST IS COMING with a portrait of a very aesthetic looking man. THEY mill about the crowd handing out white linen handkerchiefs to anyone who will take them. DEEDELUS, MILLIAMA and SOMA enter from stage left. The din is too much for DEEDELUS. HE claps his hands over his ears. To be heard, the TRIO shouts at the top of their lungs.

SOMA Ya think this is bad---it ain't schlit compared to the way it usually is.

DEEDELUS

Where are we?

MILLIAMA

Clittsburgh.

SOMA

Beautiful downtown Clittsburgh. (From the right now comes a GROUP dressed very much like the picture we saw in Scene 1 with leather thongs, vests, breasts, erections and Bull’s Heads. They carry signs reading: THE BEAST IS COMING! with drawings of the same creature we saw on the wall of DEEDELUS’ home. THEY mill about the crowd handing out leather crops. A BEASTER FOLLOWERS collides with a FEASTER FOLLOWER. THEY begin to push and shove. A riot is on the verge of erupting when FIRST PERFORMER on the platform to the right pulls out a pistol and shoots in the air. For a moment, OTHERS, including the BEASTERS and FEASTERS, stop playing and stare at him.) FIRST PERFORMER

Look at me!
Whatdya see?
I'm a pure shluckin' gem!
Look at me!
Look at me!
Ain't I better than them?!

SECOND PERFORMER

Look at me!
Whatdya see
From the front and behind?
Look at me!
Look at me!
I'm the best that you'll find!

THIRD PERFORMER

No one ever saw some-
One quite as grand as me!
I am truly awesome,
Much more so than he---
Or she.

FIRST PERFORMER I'm a walking icon!

SECOND PERFORMER

I'm a moveable feast!

THIRD PERFORMER

Look at me!

SECOND PERFORMER

Look at me!

FIRST PERFORMER

Look at me!

ALL THREE

                            I'm as great as the Beast!
                            I'm as great as the Beast!
                            I'm as great as the Beast! (THEY ALL go into a wild, frenzied dance in which each tries to top the other. After the dance is finished, BEASTERS begin to attack the performers for what they consider sacrilege. FEASTERS attack the BEASTERS. Then from the right, the KILLER PANDAS march on carrying signs reading: THE PANDA IS COMING with drawings of a Panda with bared fangs. THEY attack everyone. Pistols and knives are pulled out, and a ballet ensues in which each group is trying to kill the other. Through it all, DEEDELUS, MILLIAMA and SOMA remain downstage left---MILLIAMA and SOMA accepting the mayhem as just another incident in city life while DEEDELUS watches with both fascination and confusion. The musical GROUP, BEASTERS, FEASTERS, and ONLOOKERS all rush offstage left pursued by the PANDAS.) MILLIAMA That shluckin’ library better have something that tells us how to get rid of them schluckers. (A MAN, who has been observing DEEDELUS with great interest through the preceding number, approaches the trio. HE is middle-aged and dressed much more conservatively than the others, with a certain slickness and style. HE glances at the chests of all three.) MAXIMUSH What have we here? A coner…a crescenter…and a cuber.

MILLIAMA

(raising her fist)
What's it to you?

MAXIMUSH

Wait a minute, lady! I think that's great. I've been advocating this for years. Coners and crescenters and cubers should all congregate together. Let me introduce myself. I am Dr. Maximush Maximish.
(to DEEDELUS, under his breath)
And you are from Heaven.

DEEDELUS

Well, Dr. Maximish…

MAXIMUSH

Please. Call me Maximush.

DEEDELUS

You see, we're all looking for the Library at Marianat.

MAXIMUSH

The who at where?

SOMA

The Library at Marianat.

MILLIAMA

You never heard of it either?

DEEDELUS

All through my growing up, my Mother always told me I'd find there the answers to all my questions.

MAXIMUSH

(skeptically)
Is that right?

DEEDELUS

You mean there's no such place?

MAXIMUSH

Hold on! I never said that. As I used to tell all my patients…
                                        Right you are
                                        If you think you are,
                                        Right you are, you know;
                                        If you think that
                                        There's a library at
                                        A place that's called Marianat---
                                        Then obviously it's so. (Through the number, HE places his hand first on DEEDELUS' shoulder, then on his bicep, and works his way to DEEDELUS' ass, each time with a little squeeze. MILLIAMA is not pleased.) Right you are
If you think you are---
Right you are, I swear!
If you think that
There's a library at
What your mother called Marianat,
Then obviously it's there.

Seek,
Seek and ye shall find, boy---
For everything's in the mind, boy,
And all who doubt are blind, boy---
It's the only rationality
That each of us makes his own reality.

So right you are
If you think you are---
Right is never wrong;
If you think that
There's a library at
A place they call Marianat---
Mind if I tag along?

MILLIAMA What about your patients?

MAXIMUSH

Not to worry. I left my pill-dispenser in charge.

(MILLIAMA, DEEDELUS and SOMA start to exit.)

MAXIMUSH

I think I'm in love,
That face, that physique!
The rapture, the bliss---
I've not felt like this,
It's gotta be almost a week. (HE runs after them and grabs Deedelus' ass as THEY exit.)

BLACKOUT