DISCLAIMER: Paramount owns them all.
Just a SHORT, stupid piece about the crew finding out about J/C.
Rating: PG-13, for some innuendo, some language, and well, implied sex.
Oh, one more thing. This doesn't even PRETEND to be canon. And it suffers from PWP syndrome. Plot? What Plot?
Kathryn Janeway decided to take the night off. One night a month, that was reasonable, wasn't it? She even talked Chakotay into going to Sandrine's. Finishing doing up her hair, she waited for the her First Officer to walk through her door.
She didn't have to wait long. He stood there looking very handsome in a white shirt and black pants, a peace rose in his hand. "Hello there, Kathryn."
"Hello yourself. What do you say we go crash a crew party?" Her face wore an evil grin.
"Only after I get a kiss."
She kissed him obligingly, not allowing him to know how much she wanted it to continue.
They walked arm-in-arm to the holodeck. Entering, they expected to see the crew spread around the room, playing pool, drinking, having fun. Instead, the couple found a large group huddled at one table, backs to the door. Kathryn put a finger to her lips, gesturing for Chakotay to be quiet.
The first thing they heard was Tom Paris' voice. "I'd like to raise my bet to three months."
"You really think that they're gonna admit it to the crew?" said an unplaceable voice.
"Oh, yeah. Damn, well, he's SO obvious about it. They are most definitely seeing each other."
"How long?"
"After that Borg-lady, Riley Frasier."
That was when the silent duo at the back of the room realized that their crew was talking about them!
"Yes, most definitely. I'd like to place a bet on one year and three months."
"You know, if the Captain or the Commander were to come in right now, we'd be dead." That was Harry Kim. Harry, little innocent Harry Kim, participating in this kind of thing?
"Harry, that is irrational. The Captain always does crew reports." Well, Seven was in for a big surprise, thought Kathryn. Beside her, Chakotay could barely contain his laughter.
"Whatever. I wonder how they get around? B'Elanna, you know this ship upside, downside, and backwards. If YOU wanted to carry on a discrete love affair, how would you do it?" questioned Tom with a hint of mischief in his voice. Chakotay could imagine B'Elanna's glare.
"Jeffries tubes."
"Oh," said Jenny Delaney. "I wonder if they're sleeping together." Chakotay almost lost it at that comment. A sharp poke kept him quiet.
"Well, there's a pool for ‘yes,' one for ‘no, but soon,' one for ‘no,' and one for ‘no comment.' Well, time to bet everybody. One, two, three, or four? Come on, ante up!"
At the number of people who put their money on number one, ‘yes,' Kathryn knew that she couldn't do anything without getting caught. The group would hear the doors if they tried to leave. Beside her, Chakotay had his hands to his mouth to smother his laughter.
She spoke. In her best captain's tone, Kathryn said, "Well, don't let me interrupt, but it would be safe to put your money on number two, eh?" Chakotay stared at her, and the group scrambled to their feet as a whole.
"Captain!"
"Captain?"
"Oh, my God!"
"Captain, when would you like me to start scrubbing your replicator with my toothbrush?" Paris, again.
"OH, MY GOD. That's, that's like, ewww, my parents or something. I always thought that this was all in good fun. Uh, Ma'am, are you serious?" stuttered a Harry with a very red face.
"That is a decidedly good question. I think that I'd like an answer myself," said Chakotay from the back, finally regaining his voice. "Kathryn."
"How about we discuss this elsewhere, COMMANDER?"
"Certainly, KATHRYN," he said as she all but ran past him.
As the couple exited, Paris turned to the group, saying amazed, "Well, I'd say that we have our answers."
Entering her quarters with Chakotay close on her heels, Kathryn threw herself down on her couch, covering her face with a pillow. Chakotay sat slowly down beside her. Putting his hand on her head, he said, "Kathryn, did you mean what you said back there? I mean, if you were just joking, I'm okay with that, but don't leave me hanging, okay?" He took a breath, and was about to keep prattling on when Kathryn sat up and looked him directly in the eye.
"What do YOU think I meant, Chakotay?" With that statement, she kissed him full on the mouth. Soon, it didn't matter what he thought, because what he knew was a completely different story.
The next morning a very relaxed command team entered the bridge together. Tuvok raised an eyebrow. Tom tried very, very hard to keep his gaze directed at his console.
After calling for a status report, Kathryn escaped to her ready room, her face a little flushed.
On the bridge, Chakotay sat very comfortably until a message light flashed on his console. "Watch out for Paris' reaction," it said. To what? He braced himself for something awful.
There was a beep, and Paris activated his screen. Chakotay watched his ears turn a bright pink, and he stood and looked right at the First Officer with a horrified expression. He glanced in the direction of the closed ready room door, saying, "Excuse me, sir." He fled from the bridge.
Chakotay smothered a smile and went down to the helm to see what exactly Kathryn had said that had caused such a reaction. On Tom's screen was the simple message:
"Tom, I'd like to change my bet. Number one would be much more cost effective, I believe. My replicator IS in need of a good scrub, though." It was signed "Captain Janeway."
Chakotay's face went red and he quickly excused himself to the ready room where he found his Captain, his Kathryn, laughing her head off. "I'd say that will keep the rumor mill quiet for a while," she said.
*END*