DISCLAIMER: As always, it belongs to Paramount. As always, I'm not sure if they'd want it, but what the hey!
CODES: P/T, K/J, C/7 (sort of. Not really, but I'm obligated to put it in.)
RATING: R
EXPLANATION: This one was triggered, yet again, by a conversation about Harry's love life. We started speculating about who he would end up with, and came up with, after a long assortment of equally implausible ideas, Captain Kathryn Janeway. I personally think that idea is absolutely revolting. It was hard to write without grimacing . . . I mean, REALLY! Captain Janeway and Ensign Kim . . . even Brannon Braga couldn't think it up. It's too disgusting.
ANOTHER NOTE: I feel obligated to add that this time around, the "sex scenes" were not added in editing but were actually part of the original round robin story and mostly Surel's fault. Thus, blame falls rather equally on both of us.
Intergalactic Incidents or Harry Kim's Last Affair or What Neelix Saw
by Surel and Harley
edited by Harley
Captain Kathryn Janeway had a secret that she couldn't tell a soul. She had always loved Harry Kim. Ever since the day he had first come onboard her ship, she had swooned over him. Oh, she had tried to get over him by looking to her first officer, but it hadn't worked at all. She had tried, oh, how she had tried - but to no avail. She had even gone so far as to sleep with a hologram! But, she was still madly in love.
Unfortunately, the ensign had yet to discover her feelings for him and continued to have affairs with aliens, holograms, dead girls, Borg, and the wrong twin. Janeway found this to be very disconcerting, so she had at every turn discouraged him from these affairs.
* * *
Harry was sitting in the messhall, eating Neelix's latest concoction of leola root and various spices when Neelix dropped a pitcher of Java Juice in Harry's lap. Harry tried to jump up, but landed right on top of a passing ensign. Embarrassed, Harry quickly got up and apologized. He turned around to get back to his meal and walked straight into Tom and B'Elanna, who had just come in for dinner.
He knocked them both over and landed in a rather awkward position on top of Tom. Tom raised an eyebrow and B'Elanna laughed as Harry tried desperately to scramble away without causing an intergalactic incident, but he tripped over B'Elanna's leg and fell backwards into Commander Chakotay, who was holding a plate of mushroom soup.
The soup went flying, covering Harry's already disgusting dinner.
Harry, bright red at this point, excused himself, took his dinner to the recycler, and walked out the door . . . and straight into Captain Janeway, who had just woken up from dreaming about this very same hapless ensign. They fell into a heap in the middle of the corridor.
Each tried to untangle themselves from the other, only to crash into the closing door. Janeway ended up sprawled on top of her Chief of Operations with the entire senior staff watching. Just her luck.
Both Harry and the captain blushed and hurriedly got up. Both raced for the door - but Seven had been tinkering with the computer again, and the door wouldn't open. So, they both slammed into the door. The door, obviously noticing their predicament, then decided to open. Both officers walked out with bloody noses and bruised pride.
They went straight to sickbay, saying nothing.
The doctor, upon seeing them, said, "If this were Lieutenant Torres and Ensign Paris, I'd have certain assumptions . . . ."
The captain cut him off, dismissing his ideas with mutterings about Seven's questionable parentage and the "bloody door." The doctor decided that unless he wanted to be two feet tall for the remainder of their infinitely-long journey, he should just fix the captain's nose and get on with it. So, he picked up the dermal regenerator, which, per Seven's tampering, wouldn't work either.
"Hmmf!" said Janeway. She stormed out of sickbay and back into the mess hall, where she planned to have a huge cup of black coffee.
* * *
In the mess hall, Tom and B'Elanna were snickering about Harry's latest adventures. They knew it wasn't the nicest thing they could do, but they got such a kick out of their younger friend's love life - or lack thereof. So, they laughed.
Janeway, nose still bleeding, barged into the messhall with a "don't screw with me" look on her face. Commander Chakotay, however smiled at her as she walked past. Janeway spun on her heels and gave him a glare that would melt dilithium. "Is there something you would like to say, COMMANDER?" she demanded.
Startled, Chakotay meekly shook his head. Janeway stormed off to the replicator, where she ordered, "Large black coffee. Hot." But, of course, Seven's tampering had screwed up the replicators as well. So, rather than coffee, Janeway received a dozen red roses.
This didn't help her mood in the slightest. She was already embarrassed by the earlier escapade with Harry - and she had to stop calling him that! He was an ensign and she was the captain!
Janeway threw the roses away from her - Neelix caught them - and stormed over to B'Elanna and demanded to know what the hell was going on with the ship. With a barely controlled giggle, B'Elanna explained that Seven was in the process of doing a computer overhaul without her permission. But, interrupting it now would only cause further damage, so she had no choice but to let Seven do the work and then go back and fix it later.
Janeway stormed out of the messhall, intent on going to Engineering, cursing in several languages. But, of course, she walked into the door.
Just then, Harry Kim called her over the comm system. "Captain, there is an alien vessel approaching bearing 47 mark 74 off our starboard bow. They're hailing."
"I'll be right there, Mr. Kim," Janeway said angrily. "As soon as I get the DAMN DOOR OPEN!"
On cue, the door slid aside and in walked Naomi Wildman. "You shouldn't swear, Captain," she said sweetly. "Mom says it'll screw up your mouth." She bounded over to Neelix, leaving Janeway to glare at her before rushing out of the messhall. The senior staff trailed behind.
On top of her priority list was getting B'Elanna to fix the confounded computer and getting Harry into her ready room, Janeway thought.
Janeway shook her head as she realized it was thoughts like that which had started this whole disaster. No matter, she thought, as she strode onto the bridge.
But, there was Harry, standing center stage, negotiating with more hostile aliens. Her heart began to melt.
Harry turned around and for a second their eyes met. Harry then looked back at the screen and told the aliens the captain had arrived.
The aliens laughed. "Captain?" they repeated. "No one looks at their CAPTAIN like that!" And they continued to laugh . . . until Janeway walked into view.
The aliens shut up when they saw the dried blood spattered on her uniform - they took it to be the blood of slain enemies. They powered down their weapons and backed down, fleeing at high warp. Harry looked at Janeway and Janeway looked at Harry, and the whole senior staff looked at Harry looking at Janeway looking at Harry.
Janeway quickly fled with the excuse of going down to sickbay, but wound up in the observation deck instead. She stared out at the stars that sped by and thought of Harry. For that second their eyes locked, she had thought there was something there . . . .
She was woken from her reverie by the door chime. She called for entrance, somewhat reluctantly.
Seven of Nine walked in. "Captain?" Seven called.
"I'm right over here, Seven. What do you need?" Seven walked over, stately as ever. "Captain, I have a question regarding personal relationships."
With a sigh, Janeway responded, "What is it, Seven?"
Seven crossed her arms behind her. "I have been observing Lieutenant Torres and Ensign Paris, and I am wondering why their relationship seems to ‘work' even though they rarely talk to each other."
Janeway's eyebrows rose. "Seven, I think they talk to each other, just not necessarily in a . . . public setting." There, that was a good explanation!
"I see," Seven responded. "So, the theory that relationships are structured on communication is not necessarily the case?"
Janeway paused. "No, it is the case. As I said, they have a great deal of communication. One can tell that just by looking at them. But they, thankfully," Janeway smiled, "take most of their communication behind closed doors."
Seven raised her eyebrow in a Vulcan manner. "Fascinating." After a pause, she continued, "Captain, I have also been wondering what your feelings towards Commander Chakotay are. You often touch him, yet you seem rather distracted. At first, I believed that you had romantic feelings for him, but now I am uncertain." Seven trailed off, and Janeway's mind raced. She could let Seven think she liked Chakotay to shield Seven from her feelings for Harry, or she could just find some excuse to end the conversation completely and not let Seven know anything more about her "romantic feelings" for anyone.
Finally, she decided. "Seven," she declared in her ‘I-am-the-Captain-hear-me-roar' voice, "that is not an appropriate topic of discussion. And certainly not on duty," she added. But, then she had this sinking feeling that Seven already suspected something.
However, without giving Seven any time to react, Janeway raced out of the lounge and back to her quarters, where she ordered a big pot of coffee and began to prepare for bed.
* * *
What Janeway didn't know was that elsewhere on the ship, Harry Kim was thinking about his run-in with the captain. He was reflecting on how oddly she had behaved. The way she had looked at him, he almost suspected that she could have feelings for him. But, that was preposterous! She was the CAPTAIN, for crying out loud. And, she was twenty years his senior!
But, for a second, he let himself think what could happen if . . . .
He quickly stopped that train of thought. It could never happen. And he doubted if he would even want it to. After all, he didn't think about her that way!
Or did he?
He admitted that she was a very beautiful woman - in her own way. But, she was the captain. She was a senior officer. It could never work. Even here, where they would be on the ship together for many more years and had no chance of being transferred to separate posts.
Especially here, he amended. Especially here, where a bad relationship could make the next sixty years a living hell.
But, yet, why did he keep remembering the way her cheeks flushed and the way she scrambled out of the messhall? Or, her incredible power and presence wherever she went? Harry sighed and reached for his communicator. "Kim to Paris."
"Paris here," his friend responded. "What is it, Harry? I'm on duty."
Tom was on duty? What time was it?! Not Alpha Shift. That meant Tom was in sickbay. "Tom do you have a minute? I have a very, very big problem." At least he hoped Tom was in sickbay.
"Just a second. Let me ask the doc." Harry heard muted voices over the comm channel. "All right, Harry. Doc is going to let me leave early. But, you owe me big . . . ." he trailed off.
Harry sighed. "Thanks, buddy."
"Don't thank me! Thank Doc! Paris out."
The channel was closed, and Harry was left with his thoughts again. The captain. Well, him and the captain. Or was that him with the captain? It sounded so wrong, and yet, in a way, it sounded so right . . . .
After what seemed like an eternity the door chimed. Tom walked in. "Okay, Harry. What's so urgent?"
Harry grabbed his head, hands over his ears. Sinking into a chair, he moaned, "I'm in love with the captain!"
Tom stood in the doorway for a minute, a shocked look on his face. The he sank into a chair beside Harry's with a muttered, "Oh, God." After a second he continued, "Harry, Harry, Harry," burying his face in his hands.
Harry looked at him. "I know!"
Tom raised his head. "What brought this on?"
Harry responded, "Well, you were in the messhall today."
Tom covered a smile and said, "When you had that little accident?"
Harry nodded. "Well, it kinda started there and just developed! And I think she likes me! Tom! What should I DO?" Harry fell back into his chair, staring at the ceiling. He tried deep breaths to calm himself down, but it didn't work.
"Well, first of all, get over her! She's the captain! It would never work. And besides . . ." Tom trailed off as Harry interrupted.
"Get OVER her? This coming from you, of all people! What's my second choice?" he demanded, sounding a little sour.
"Well," Tom said thoughtfully, "you could always tell her how you feel. After all, there might be some tiny chance she feels the same way."
Harry laughed. "Of course!" He stood up and came to parade rest. "Good morning, Captain Janeway. Here's the Ops report you requested. Oh, and by the way, I'm madly in love with you." He sank back into the chair, glaring at his friend. "Somehow, I don't think that will work."
"I wouldn't want my best friend to sit in his quarters and pine away," Tom teased Harry. "This could be a great opportunity for you to get closer to her. After all, you're always complaining about how she never notices you - or something like that. What was it?" Tom asked, still teasing.
Harry glared, not appreciating the humor. "Can I get a second opinion?" he asked.
Tom grew serious. "Okay. She's the captain. You're a lowly ensign. That's a big problem, right?" Harry nodded. "Well, you could always send flowers or something?" He sighed. "Harry, Harry, Harry. This is rather crazy."
"Crazier than you and B'Elanna?" Harry asked, teasing a little.
Tom smiled. "Well, maybe not. But, there's nothing you can do about this. Your choices are to say something, or not to. Unfortunately, saying something to her could lead to a lot of problems."
Harry nodded. "You think I don't know that? But, I mean, that means wallowing in obscurity for the rest of my life!"
Tom wasn't sure he agreed with Harry's assessment. "Obscurity? You're Chief of Operations of the only starship in the Delta Quadrant. When we get home, I don't think obscurity is the word you'll use."
Harry snorted. "Yeah! But how long is it going to take? Sixty years? One hundred years? We don't even know if we WILL get home!"
Tom put a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Look, Harry, I don't know what you're going through. I couldn't imagine. But, there's nothing you can do."
Harry sighed. "Yeah, I suppose you're right. Well, thanks, Tom. Sorry I pulled you out of sickbay early."
Tom smiled. "Are you kidding? I was cataloguing Doc's specimens of leola root!" He patted Harry on the shoulder. "But, I do have to get going. I'll see you on the bridge tomorrow morning. Just don't do anything stupid without telling me first," said Tom with a smirk.
Harry smiled back half-heartedly and shooed his friend out the door. Maybe Tom was right. This was just a lost cause and he should forget it. But, there was this nagging thought in the back of his mind . . . .
* * *
Meanwhile, in her quarters, Kathryn Janeway was thinking those exact same thoughts. She was thinking about a lowly ensign and how a relationship would never work. After all, she was the captain. And, she had standards to uphold. Protocol, protocol, protocol.
Egads, she hated protocol. Oh, she knew there were reasons for it all. And in this case there were some very good reasons.
She sighed and climbed into bed, calling for the lights to dim. She rolled over and went to sleep, with images of Harry Kim dancing through her mind.
* * *
The next morning, the messhall was abuzz with chatter. Not about a certain ensign and a certain captain, of course, but rather about a new development that had many people laughing behind their hands and snickering on duty. In fact, just thinking about it made some a little giddy.
When Tom Paris walked in to get some breakfast, he was met by a rather excited B'Elanna, who marched up to him and said, "Have you heard?" Tom shook his head. B'Elanna continued, "Well, some time during the night . . . ." She couldn't contain herself any longer and let out a rather loud howl.
"What's going on this morning?" Tom asked her.
She continued, "Okay! So, during the night, the doctor messed with his subroutines and is now," she started laughing again. Tom shook her. "He's, he's, he's . . . female." She snorted with laughter, grinning up at Tom.
Tom let out a snort, followed by laughter as a mental image formed. "What you seen him yet?" Tom asked his still giggling girlfriend.
"I was called down there at about 0430," she answered, laughing. "He wanted me to fix him, but it's going to take hours of work. But, yes, it's rather amusing."
Tom was about to ask how the hell the doctor had managed to change his own sex when a blushing Harry Kim stepped into the messhall. "Torres!" he called, rushing over to Tom and B'Elanna. "Fix the doctor!"
B'Elanna blinked. "What happened?" she asked.
Harry sputtered. "He - she - IT was after me! Something about how lovely my uniform looked this morning!"
Torres groaned. "Oh, great. He screwed up his personality subroutines, too."
Harry looked at her. "You mean you knew about this?" he demanded, glaring. "He was coming on to me!"
B'Elanna hurriedly explained what had happened to the irate ensign. Harry calmed and then told her, "You had better fix him soon, or I'll never be able to walk into sickbay again!"
B'Elanna nodded and grabbed a tray of the counter. The three of them went to find seats, and Tom asked Harry, "Did you work out that . . . other problem you were having?"
Harry glared. "Did you tell her?" he asked, pointing to B'Elanna.
Tom nodded.
"Come on, Tom! This is a personal thing! I don't appreciate you spreading it!"
Tom pushed back from the table. "Spreading it?" he repeated, more than a little insulted. "It's not like I went on Neelix's show and told the whole ship! And what was I supposed to do?" He jabbed at his plate full of - something.
B'Elanna put a hand on Tom's arm, calming him. Then, she said to Harry, "Don't worry about it, Starfleet. I won't tell anyone."
Harry nodded. Then he thought of something. "Well, now that you know, do you have any ideas?" he asked, sulking a little.
Tom continued to jab his spork at his plate, annoyed with his friend.
B'Elanna answered. "Not, really. It's not exactly normal to have a crush on your captain."
Harry sulked for a while longer and the table was quiet. He stood, finally, and said, "Tom, we're going to be late for our duty shifts." Tom excused himself and they left, walking towards the turbolift.
"Tom, did you have to tell her?" Harry demanded as the lift arrived. They stepped in and ordered it to the bridge.
Tom looked down at Harry. "Yes."
Harry glared. "Why?"
"Come on, Harry! I all but live with her! I tell her everything!" He paused. "Don't you trust her?"
"Sure, I do," replied Harry. "It's just kind of embarrassing."
Tom laughed. "That's one way to put it. Don't worry, though. B'Elanna's discreet - and since she has to deal with the doctor today, she won't even have time to think about it."
Harry mumbled an unconvinced "I guess," as they stepped off the turbolift and onto the bridge. Harry walked around to his station and was rather startled to see a woman on the main screen. He had never seen her before, and yet she seemed so familiar.
"Harry!" the woman exclaimed.
"Yes?" he asked, a little wary.
"Don't you remember me?" the woman asked, sounding hurt.
"No . . . ." Sudden realization hit Harry. "Doctor, I think this is kind of inappropriate."
Just then, the captain walked out of her ready room and stared at the screen. "Doctor?" she asked, unamused.
"Well, yes," Doc replied. "I was tinkering with the program and I need Lieutenant Torres to come and fix me. Now." He looked around. "This is quite unnerving. Oh, and Ensign Kim, you are due for your annual checkup," the doctor said blinking his long lashes at Harry.
Harry backed away from the screen. "No, I think I'll just wait until you're back to your normal self!" He continued to back away, and ran smack-dab into the captain.
He turned around, blushing, and excused himself hastily. When he noticed that the captain was also blushing, he turned even redder. Harry darted into the turbolift and didn't look back.
Captain Janeway watched the ensign leave and sighed. Tuvok said, "Captain, is there something you wish to discuss?" Janeway turned an even brighter red and glared at the Vulcan.
"No, thank you, Mr. Tuvok. I will be in my ready room." She turned around to escape the stares of the bridge crew, only to notice Chakotay giving her a look. She fled into her ready room, where she ordered a giant coffee.
She sat down into her chair and thought. Maybe it was time to meet this problem head-on. Well, maybe that wasn't the best way to put it, but maybe she should talk to him. After all, what was the worst thing that could happen? He couldn't have feelings for her.
And, given his reactions, she suspected, he was feeling something. She tapped her commbadge. "Janeway to Kim. Please report to the ready room immediately."
* * *
Harry Kim almost turned purple when he heard the captain's hail. He realized that everything was probably going to come out. Nervously, he went back up to the bridge and rang the chime on the door. When it slid aside, he stepped slowly in and stared at his feet. "You asked to see me, Captain?" he said softly.
Janeway nodded, suddenly as nervous as before her very first date. "Yes, Harry . . . would you like . . . anything to drink?"
Harry, just as nervous as the captain, declined.
"Please sit down." He sat down rigidly, almost ready to make a dash for the door.
The captain sat down behind her desk and tapped her fingers against its smooth surface. "Harry, these past few days have made me realize that I have feelings I never even knew were there. Feelings I think I should express. Harry I . . . think I . . . love you."
There, she had said it. She leaned back in her chair, trying alternately not to faint, run for the door, or grab a phaser and put it to her head. She stared at her hands as she waited for him to respond.
Harry sat in shock. He had considered it, but he never thought to imagine that she could share his feelings. Not in a million years. "Captain," he started. "I . . . love you, too."
And then silence reigned. Both were too shocked to say much of anything.
Slowly, the captain reached a hand across towards him. Harry backed away. He was frightened now. Frightened of what had happened. Of what might happen when anyone found out about their impending relationship. He took a deep breath. "Captain, are you sure?" he asked warily. "Cause, if not, I can just forget about . . . ."
As he was talking, Janeway slowly moved around the desk. Now, she cut him off mid-sentence. "Harry, shut up."
Harry really had no other choice, as he found his captain's lips pressed soundly against his. Slowly he kissed her back. When she pulled away, he croaked, "Captain . . . Captain," he repeated. "You know this could never work."
Janeway, whose face was still centimeters from his said, "I know, Harry. But I just don't think I can fight these feelings any longer." She kissed him again and then sat back on her desk. "Though if we're going to do . . . this, maybe you had better call me Kathryn."
"Okay, Kathryn." Harry rolled the word around in his mouth. Somehow, it fit this beautiful woman who just happened to be his commanding officer.
She smiled, and he noted that she had a, well, a gorgeous smile. Why hadn't he noticed that before? He signed, and then smiled widely. "I think Ca-Kathryn, that I would like very much to kiss you right now."
Seeing the look in her eyes, he took the initiative. He reached for her and pulled her body close to his. Then, he kissed her, softly at first, and then with more passion. His hands went to her waist and hers were wound in his hair, as the door beeped and slid open.
Janeway quickly sat back and pushed Harry into a seat on the opposite side of the desk, then looked past Harry's shoulder at the intruder.
"Uh, Lieutenant Torres! Can I, uh, help you?"
B'Elanna surveyed the scene. She wasn't stupid, or naive, or inexperienced - she knew exactly what she had just interrupted. "Just delivering the update on the computer, Captain. Things are up and running again. Captain. Harry." She nodded to the ensign, whose face was bright red for the fourth time that day.
B'Elanna handed the PADD to the captain and hastily exited the room, still in shock over what she had seen. Blinking, she walked across the bridge to Tom's station. "You will not believe this!" she hissed.
Tom figured out what was going on the ready room from the look on B'Elanna's face. "Let me guess," he said. "A certain ensign and a certain captain were, let's say, getting to know each other."
B'Elanna nodded emphatically, glancing over her shoulder at Chakotay. He glared. "Lieutenant, is there something you wish to share?" he asked.
"Uh, no, sir! I was just informing To-Ensign Paris as to the status of the, uh, navigational deflectors."
Chakotay didn't buy it for a second, but he let B'Elanna go, and she fled the bridge without a backwards glance.
Tom stared at his console. Harry. And the captain. This was going to take some getting used to. He wondered, also, when she planned to break to news to Chakotay. He knew that they had a ‘thing' for a while, but recently the captain had been branching out. First and alien, then a hologram. Now Harry . . . . Tom made a face and wished there was some way he could get off the bridge. He needed to talk to B'Elanna. Or someone. Being here was so awkward. He was the only one, excluding B'Elanna, who knew what was going on in the ready room. Oh, Chakotay probably had his suspicions . . . .
Tom glanced at the chronometer. Only two more hours . . . .
* * *
Chakotay sat behind the pilot, feeling a little put out. There was, he knew, nothing going on with the navigational deflectors, but he guessed there was something going on in the room next door. From the expression on B'Elanna's face, it couldn't be something good. Or, rather, it couldn't be something he wanted to know about.
But, as First Officer, he had a duty to see what was going on. He rose from his chair and turned the bridge over to Tom. He casually walked over to the ready room door, which beeped repeatedly. However, it seemed to be locked from the inside.
So, he did the next most logical thing and hailed Janeway over the comm system to make sure nothing was wrong.
"Chakotay to Janeway." There was a long pause. He repeated the hail. "Chakotay to Captain Janeway. Please respond."
There was another long pause, then his commbadge beeped. Sounding a little out of breath, Janeway responded, "What is it, Commander?"
Chakotay, realizing what was probably going on in the ready room, tried to wrap up the conversation. "Uh, Captain, I just need to know what we're doing about the doctor. And his . . . sex change operation." He waited. "But I can talk to B'Elanna about it. Chakotay out." He fled from the ready room doors and scrambled back into his seat. "Mr. Paris, what is going on here?" he demanded.
Tom gave the commander an innocent look and asked, "What are you talking about, sir?"
Chakotay gave him a look and asked in his quiet voice, "You know what's going on in there, Ensign?"
Tom shook his head. "I can guess, Commander. But I don't really know anything. Sir." Tom swung his chair back to face the viewscreen. Oh, but he knew. He knew all too well what was going on in the ready room. Something that he could only assume the captain wanted as much as his friend . . . .
Still, it was a little disconcerting. He thought of Janeway much like a mother and Harry like a little brother.
Oh, God. He had to go find B'Elanna. And probably rescue sickbay.
He wasn't looking forward to facing the doctor, but he would rather be hit on by the doc than questioned about his best friend by the first officer.
"Commander, I'm gonna go check on Doc," Tom said as he rose from his seat. He scrambled out the door and into the turbolift.
Harry and the captain. It was almost as weird as the captain and a hologram. Or Harry and a Borg. Or . . . the list went on and on. Tom was almost jealous until the thought of B'Elanna . . . .
Ah, B'Elanna. There were happy thoughts. And they had an anniversary coming up - had it really been three years? That was impossible to imagine, considering some of the things people still said about them. Ah, well, no matter. He had to get to sickbay.
Hopefully, the doctor had, ah, calmed down a bit. Because Tom was going to have to fix him and he didn't need the extra pressure.
He entered sickbay to see the object of his previous thoughts bent over a console and muttering curses in three or four languages. He came up behind her. "What's the problem?"
B'Elanna turned around in a rage, seeming ready to whack the person who had broken her concentration over the head with a PADD, but she calmed considerably when she saw it was Tom.
"That confounded hologram rewrote himself completely! I mean, not ONLY do I have to deal with gender difficulties or whatever, I have to deal with his rearranged personality subroutines, and on top of that, Carey just said that we're having trouble with a misaligned plasma manifold, and then there's Harry . . . !"
Tom put his hand on her shoulder. "I think that Harry is the least of our problems. He's being taken care of very well. As for the plasma manifold, I'm sure your very well trained staff can handle it - at least until we fix the doc."
"Harry is the least of our problems?" she raged, though quieter. "He's in the ready room, all over the CAPTAIN!" She frowned and then glared at the console again. "To hell with ethics. I'm going to rewrite his program or something," she growled, changing the subject again.
Tom looked over the doctor's main program. "B'Elanna, it looks like Doc deleted some of his ethical subroutines. Maybe if we fix those, he'll at least stop hitting on the crew."
She nodded emphatically. "Harry was saying something about that . . . ." She trailed off, then shook her head. "Yeah, ground zero. We need to start with the . . . ." And they got to work, side by side.
* * *
In the ready room, Harry and Janeway had long since made it to the couch and were discussing how they could possible have a relationship, in between kisses.
"Well, Captain, I, ummmmmm, think that, uh, we should keep this as, ooooooh! private as possible," Harry said as clearly as he could. The captain was doing wonderful things to mouth.
She replied, "Well, Harry . . . mmmm . . . do you think that . . . hmm . . . that's possible with a crew . . . ummmm . . . this small?"
Harry considered that as best he could. "Well, Captain, it's - aaaaah! - rather difficult. Because . . . mmm . . .the ship is so . . . smaaaaaaaah-ll." And he stopped talking, simply because his brain could no longer function. His captain's hands had moved to his back and started to undo his uniform shirt. His head went limp, but at Kathryn's urging he started kissing her neck. He made his way down to the top of her uniform turtleneck. He pushed it away and his fingers found the zipper that went down the back. Tugging at it, he pulled it free. They hastily undressed each other . . . .
As Janeway tugged Harry's shirt completely off, she pulled his body close to hers and kissed him again, until he suddenly broke the embrace and said, "Captain, we can't do this!"
Janeway looked at him through passion-clouded eyes. "Why not, Harry?" she purred in a voice he had never heard before. He almost gave in.
"Captain! Kathryn! This is the READY ROOM! We can't have . . . do . . . THIS in HERE!"
"I locked the door, Harry," she said seductively. "We're all alone, the walls are soundproof. No one will ever have to know."
Harry was overcome by the passion in her eyes and let her embrace him once again. He pulled her onto him and they fell onto the floor, bringing each other to previously unimagined highs.
* * *
In sickbay, Tom and B'Elanna were still struggling to return the doctor to normal. They, luckily, had fixed his personality, but they were still having difficulty with his appearance.
"I do not want to be treated by a woman in stiletto heels wearing THAT, Paris!"
"What's wrong with it?"
"Well, for one thing, it's . . . ."
"Holographic!"
"No, it's . . . ." Torres pressed a button, trying to get her somewhat significant other to stop drooling over the doctor. She looked back, and where the doctor had been standing, there was now a three foot tall muscle man.
The doctor looked horrified. "Lieutenant!" he demanded. "Put me back to NORMAL!"
Torres looked at the doctor. Annoyed with Tom for the last trick, she said, "I rather like this . . ."
Frantically, Tom hit various controls. Instead of changing Doc back into Doc, or even back into a woman, there was suddenly a miniature walrus sitting before them.
B'Elanna looked at Tom and grumbled, "Be happy I love you, Paris, or that little stunt would get you three days cleaning the transporter pad with your toothbrush." She was too tired even to get angry. She just pushed Tom away from the controls and tapped the proper code into the panel, undisturbed. "There. That should just about do it . . . ."
Before her eyes, the small animal morphed into a rather distraught doctor. He looked at Tom and asked, "What is going on?"
Tom sighed and looked at B'Elanna, who glared at Doc. "Let me tell you, Doc, it's a long story." He glanced again at B'Elanna.
"You were messing with your programming again," she said wearily. "You're better now. But, I encrypted my authorization codes - you can't alter your subroutines without notifying me." She sighed. "I'm leaving. Coming, Tom?" She turned towards the door.
Tom nodded goodbye to Doc and followed B'Elanna out of sickbay.
* * *
Meanwhile, on the bridge, Chakotay was tapping his fingers on the armrest of his chair, over and over and over again. The ensign at the conn was slowly going crazy listening to the repetition. But, Chakotay didn't notice her discomfort, didn't notice Tuvok's stoic face behind him. He could only think about Kathryn. He had thought, at least for a while, they had some thing special. On New Earth he had seen a while new side of his captain.
But now he realized that she was uninterested. Totally and completely uninterested. He could be her best friend, her confidante, even her conscience, but never anything more. It was a sobering thought.
* * *
Meanwhile, in the ready room, Janeway and Harry had struggled back into their uniforms and were making themselves presentable again, though not without difficulty. How had Harry's socks gotten in the plant? And he didn't want to know where all the captain's pips were. He ran his hands through his hair and sighed.
Three more hours until he was off duty. And another four until Kathryn was. And they were going to have a very long talk if they could keep their hands off each other for more than a minute.
This was strange. Just earlier today, he was moaning to Tom about how this would never work.
Oh, God. Tom. And B'Elanna. They knew exactly what was going on. He turned to the captain. "I have to go!" he screeched.
He dashed out of the ready room, only to be stopped by he stares of every single bridge officer, even Tuvok. He walked more slowly to the turbolift, trying to ignore the stares. He wondered if there were any telltale signs of what had happened. Probably. He turned a brighter red and entered the turbolift.
"Computer, location of Tom Paris."
It answered, "Ensign Paris is on Deck Nine, Section Twelve."
Harry ordered the turbolift to take him there. When the turbolift stopped, he stepped out and noticed some unusual noises coming from the direction of the very door he was headed towards.
Ah, what did he care? B'Elanna had barged in on him and Kathryn today! He marched up to the door and rang the annunciator. He rang it again.
Oh, to hell with it. He punched in an authorization code - he didn't know whose - and the door slid open to reveal B'Elanna in the process of biting a shirtless Tom on the neck. The room was in disarray and it appeared that several heavy objects had been thrown.
Harry stood still for about a nanosecond, steeled himself, and shouted at the top of his lungs. "TOM! I NEED TO TALK TO YOU!"
B'Elanna pushed away so fast, Tom fell over onto the table. Looking up through clouded eyes, Tom demanded, "NOW?"
"YES, NOW!" Harry shouted with even more force. "And you, too, B'Elanna." He said a little more calmly, "Look, I have this problem . . . ." He trailed off.
B'Elanna stalked into the other room and grabbed the dermal regenerator. Tom slowly pushed up off the table and looked for his shirt. There it was - in pieces. He smiled at Harry, reminiscent of the way he would in his early days on the ship.
"Harry," Tom said, "I think we all know about your ‘little problem.' Me, B'Elanna, and probably most of the bridge crew, too." Tom paused, collecting himself. "So, you really didn't need to barge in like this." He turned to see B'Elanna, now wearing her entire uniform - with the jacket zipped up to the neck, silently holding the dermal regenerator out to him. He took it and turned it on, silently appealing to her to please get him something to wear. She turned away again. Tom sighed. "But, Harry, since you're here . . . what's the problem?"
Flustered, Harry responded, "I'm in love with the captain. And she's in love with me."
Tom rolled his eyes. "I think we all gathered that much information. So, what's the problem?"
Harry fell into a chair, moving a shard of glass to do so. He looked at it for a second before discarding it. "That IS the problem, Tom!" he said.
B'Elanna walked back in, holding a shirt out to Tom. He shrugged it on before asking, "Why?"
"Well, Tom . . . I mean . . . . She's the captain! And I'm an ensign. And the regulations about this sort of thing . . . ."
Tom burst out laughing and glanced imperceptibly at a still-irate B'Elanna. "Harry, Harry, Harry! We're in the middle of the Delta Quadrant! The regs about fraternization don't apply!" He continued to laugh, and Harry was put off by his dismissive attitude.
"But, Tom," he continued, "what if something went wrong? We'd have to live with each other until we get home. And that could be a very long time!"
Tom went unexpectedly silent at the question. Looking down at his hands, he responded, "That's a risk you have to take, Harry. Once you make a decision like that, you live with the risk every day."
B'Elanna watched him study his hands. She uncrossed her arms and dropped onto the couch beside him. "Harry," she said, speaking for the first time. "Just look at me and Tom. You think we didn't consider the risks of a relationship?"
Harry looked from Tom to B'Elanna and back again. "No! I know you did! But, but, but!" He stopped, not sure how to word his next question. "But . . . is it worth the risk?"
Tom leaned forward and put his hand on Harry's shoulder and looked at him for a minute before responding, "That's what you and the captain have to decide."
B'Elanna spoke up again. "For us, it was and it is. But, you have to talk to her. A relationship isn't - contrary to popular belief - based on sex alone. Communication and perseverance play a big part, too. If you're willing to talk to her, work things out - it should be worth it." She smiled, and Harry started to feel slightly better about the whole thing.
It was his - and Kathryn's - decision alone. He would have to discuss it with her.
He looked at Tom and B'Elanna, happily curled up on the couch together. Standing, Harry said, "Thanks guys. Sorry about the . . . interruption." He turned to go and smiled to himself. Maybe he wasn't crazy after all.
* * *
Captain Kathryn Janeway sat on the bridge, counting the seconds until the duty shift ended and she could see Harry again. 3 hours, 28 minutes, 47 seconds . . . 46 seconds . . . 45 seconds . . . 44 seconds.
She tapped her fingers against the rest. Chakotay turned to look at her. "Captain, is there a problem?" he asked, equally concerned and curious.
"No, Commander, nothing's wrong. Nothing at all." Chakotay understood that she really didn't want to talk about what was going on between her and Ensign Kim, so he let the subject rest. At least until they got off duty. Then he might ask . . . .
But, of course, she wouldn't answer. She never answered - and he had grown accustomed to it. He sighed quietly and looked at the chronometer. Only 3 hours, 27 minutes, 3 seconds until he could turn the bridge over to someone else.
* * *
Tuvok had been calmly watching the proceedings on the bridge. He, of course, had a very good idea what was happening between Captain Janeway and Ensign Kim. However, it seemed to him completely out of character for both of them. But, then again, on this ship, anything was possible.
And, of course, they were only human. Humans were illogical, so he had stopped trying to figure out what made them tick. But, this was a bit much. Perhaps it was another alien virus, or maybe some sort of spatial anomaly that was changing their brain chemistry.
But, he doubted it. When he looked at the captain, he saw something in her eyes that she hadn't seen since she and Mark first got together. She was in love, and even Tuvok understood love.
Vulcans suppressed their emotions, but Vulcans were aware of their existence!
Tuvok raised an eyebrow and went back to work.
* * *
Meanwhile, Harry Kim stepped once again into the turbolift. He was embarrassed enough to want to sink into a hole and never come out - he couldn't believe he had actually interrupted Tom and B'Elanna . . . .
Well, he had. And they were his friends. They understood. Even if they were more than a bit unhappy.
He shook his head and stepped out of the turbolift. For a second he was disoriented. What was he doing on the bridge again?
Oh, of course. He had to talk to the captain - to Kathryn! so they could discuss their relationship. He took a deep breath. It had to be done. Communication! He took a step forward. "Captain . . . ."
Oh, God! He had come back to the bridge. Janeway thought quickly. "Ensign Kim. What can I do for you?" she demanded in her command voice.
He shrank back. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. "Captain, I need to speak with you about . . ." About WHAT? "About the astrometrics sensors." Yes, that was good, benign.
Tuvok raised an eyebrow.
"Very well, Ensign."
She was going to make him stand there in the middle of the bridge! "Uh, Captain, the sensors are, uh, malfunctioning," he said and nearly turned crimson.
"Is Seven of Nine helping you with them?" Janeway asked, trying to resist the urge to drag him into her ready room.
Harry blanched. "No, Captain. I thought it best to inform you first."
"Ask Seven to give you a hand with them. I'll come down to make note of your progress after this duty shift ends." She didn't want to talk to him. Was this a bad sign? But, she said she'd see him after the duty shift . . .
Harry nodded and performed a crisp about-face. Janeway sank into her chair, not watching him leave.
Well, that hadn't worked, Harry thought. Communication? Hah!
He stepped into the turbolift and breathed a huge sigh of relief. He hoped he never had to walk onto the bridge again. Well, at least not for another day or so. Only 2 hours, 36 minutes, 19 seconds until he could ask her what the hell that was all about.
So, he wandered the ship, staying safely away from Deck Nine, Section Twelve. He wondered if they would ever speak to him again. Harry found himself in sickbay, of all places. Having nothing else to do, and knowing the doctor was back to his original self, he walked inside. Maybe Doc could find him something to do for an hour or two.
But, when he walked into sickbay, he found that the doctor was in the holodeck and did not want to be disturbed.
Harry wandered sickbay. How did Tom spend any time here? It was . . . boring.
Well, he had nothing to do. Maybe he would, for show, go check out the astrometrics sensors.
He wandered down to astrometrics, expecting to see Seven there. She, too, was mysteriously gone. Everyone seemed to be avoiding him today. He walked over to the abandoned control panel and hit a few buttons to bring up the sensor stats, only to hear the door open behind him . . . .
"Harry," she said, in that seductive voice of hers.
He turned. "Cap-Kathryn!" he yelped, more than a little surprised. He pulled himself together. "We need to talk." He took a breath. "Relationships are based around . . . ."
"Communication," she finished for him. "Yes, I know, Harry. I'm sorry about what happened on the bridge, but I think the bridge crew already has enough to think about without knowing about . . . us." Harry nodded, and she approached him slowly. "What do you want to discuss?" She laughed. "That sounds like we're talking about Neelix's dinner, not our . . . relationship. If we have a relationship . . . ." She trailed off.
"Before we do anything . . . else, we need to talk about the future," Harry said. "IF we have a relationship, we will need to figure out some of the finer points. How do we tell the crew? And how will this affect our job performance?"
"We would hope this wouldn't affect our jobs. You know, professional on duty, personal off." She sighed. "Though I suppose it's never that simple." She sat down on the step. "Harry, I'll be truthful. I want this to work, but I don't know if it can. There are going to be a lot of problems, and we have to decide if we think having a relationship is really worth it."
She was echoing Tom and B'Elanna's words perfectly, he thought. Was it worth it?
"I've been thinking about that," he said slowly. "It will only work with perseverance - but I was told today that that's part of what makes it worth it. If we're willing to make it worth something, then it should be." He wasn't sure he was making any sense, but Kathryn nodded. "It has to be our decision together, though," he said, hoping her feelings were just as strong as his. He continued, "I think that it would be worth it."
Janeway nodded thoughtfully. Then, with an impish smile that defied her age, she said, "And it could be a lot of fun!"
Harry broke into a grin and laughed. "That it could, Captain. That it could." He came down from the astrometrics control panel and sat beside her, cautiously putting an arm around her.
"Well, now that that's decided," she said, looking into his eyes, "how do we break this to the crew?"
Harry made a face. "We could let Neelix put it on his morning show," he suggested sarcastically.
Janeway snuggled against him, but said, "That may not be the bet idea. We could tell the senior staff and let them break it to their respective staffs."
"Well, that might work. Or we could tell Neelix. Everyone on the ship would know by dinner," Harry said, grinning. They continued to bounce ideas off each other, simply enjoying each other's company.
* * *
Meanwhile, Chakotay turned the bridge over to Tuvok, thankful to be free of duty. He needed to talk to someone about this. Anyone, really. Where was B'Elanna?
As he stepped into the turbolift, he asked the computer, and it responded that she was in her quarters. Chakotay hesitantly set the turbolift on its way. When he stepped out onto Deck Nine, Section Twelve, he was, thankfully, greeted with calm silence.
A little encouraged, he pressed the annunciator on the door. After a second, it slid aside.
Tom and B'Elanna were where Harry had left them, talking on the couch . . . .
"Hi Tom, B'Elanna. I hope I'm not interrupting anything," Chakotay said.
Tom laughed and B'Elanna rolled her eyes. "No, you're not," she said, standing up to greet her friend. "How can we help you?"
Chakotay got right to the point. "Well, I wanted to ask you about Harry," he said. "What exactly is going on? I mean, I have a general idea, but . . . ."
B'Elanna collapsed back onto the couch. "Harry."
"Yes, Harry." Chakotay nodded.
Tom sat up. "Are you sure you want to know?"
Chakotay nodded again. "I can make that an order," he mock-threatened.
"That's okay, Commander," B'Elanna said, putting just too much emphasis on his rank. "I suppose we should start at the beginning . . . ."
So, together, Tom and B'Elanna told Chakotay about Harry's former "problem" and how it had developed into something more.
"So," Tom concluded, "Harry and the captain have decided to discuss things - which is probably what they're doing right now." B'Elanna nodded along with Tom's words.
Chakotay frowned. "You're telling me that Harry Kim and Kathryn Janeway were . . . in the ready room . . . ."
Tom looked down at the floor. "Yeah."
Chakotay looked faintly sickened. "Oh," he said. He swallowed.
B'Elanna leaned forward. "Are you sure you're okay with this?" she asked.
Chakotay considered. She was concerned, he might as well answer. He lied. "Yeah, I guess so," he said. "If it makes her happy."
B'Elanna smiled, happily convinced of his sincerity.
Tom didn't buy it. He didn't say anything, but he was so sick of having people here, ranting about Harry and the captain. He just wanted to sit up and yell "GO AWAY" at the top of his lungs. But, of course, he couldn't.
Rather, he sat calmly and tried to turn the conversation to other matters. "So, Commander! I hear that Neelix is going to be hosting a party for some old Earth holiday soon. What was it?"
"Valentine's Day, I think it was," said Chakotay. "It's supposed to be a celebration of love or something like that. The decorations are immeasurably tacky."
Oh, it all had to come back to love, didn't it? Tom groaned. Then B'Elanna joined the conversation, "Sounds like fun, doesn't it, Tom?" She smiled at him. "When is this party?"
"I'm not really sure," Chakotay said, still a bit disturbed. "Eventually."
Tom nodded. That was good enough for him. Neelix's parties were usually fun, but he knew about Valentine's Day. That could be a disaster. And if Harry and the captain showed up together - it could get messy. Harry and Janeway. With the whole crew watching.
Well, maybe that's how they would break the news to everyone.
Tom groaned and leaned back into the couch. This wasn't happening. Maybe this whole day was some sort of bad dream. B'Elanna leaned over. "Tom?" she asked. "Something wrong?"
He tried to smile. "I just don't feel so well. I'll go lie down." He excused himself with an appropriately apologetic smile. Then he walked into the other room, lay down on B'Elanna's bed and thought of this whole mess of a day.
There was the doctor. That, thankfully, had been fixed.
So, he and B'Elanna had come back for some simple relaxation - alone! - and Harry barged in yapping about the captain. Of all people!
And once he left, he and B'Elanna had simply been chatting, but no! Chakotay had to barge in and whine about how annoying dear Kathryn was being.
And now this.
Parties on Voyager were usually a good chance for the crew to relax and socialize, but Valentine's Day - it was a disaster in the making. And it would be worse for those who didn't know about the LoveShip's latest couple.
Tom sighed and rolled over, pulling a pillow to his chest.
In the other room, he could hear B'Elanna trying nicely to get rid of Chakotay. And maybe - maybe, if Janeway didn't come barging in - they could sit and talk, or make dinner, or some other normal thing. For once.
He snorted, and waited for B'Elanna to get rid of her old friend. Normal? On Voyager? Right.
* *
B'Elanna was worried about Tom. He looked rather pale, especially at the mention of that holiday - Valentine's Day. She was trying, without much success, to get Chakotay to leave without having to revert to being rude.
Oh, to hell with being polite. She was sure there were people saying she had lost her infamous temper in the past few years. "Chakotay. Leave."
His eyebrows shot up, contorting the tattoo on his temple. "What?"
"I said leave." Men could be so dense sometimes. "I need to talk to Tom. Alone." Maybe that would work.
Astonished at this sudden change of character, Chakotay made a hasty exit, muttering something about seeing her tomorrow.
B'Elanna watched him leave. She was certain she heard him mutter something about "women," but it really didn't matter. She walked softly into the bedroom, where she lay down next to Tom. Putting her hand on his arm, she asked, "What's wrong?"
He rested his head on her shoulder and said, "It's just been a really bad day."
B'Elanna hugged him close to her. "Do you want to talk about it?"
He sighed. "If I hear another word about Harry and Captain Janeway and their whatever it is, I'm going to scream," he said. "And if anyone else comes to that door, please take their head off. Preferably with a bat'leth."
She smiled. "Only for you, Tom." She hugged him again. "Is there anything I can get you?" she asked.
"No," he replied. "I think I just want to sleep through til today is over. No interruptions!"
B'Elanna understood the bad-day syndrome. She'd had a few of her own. She smiled. It was nice to have someone around who understood and would just . . . be there. She kicked off her shoes, unzipped her uniform jacket, and lay down again beside Tom.
And, wrapped up in each other's arms, they fell asleep.
* * *
Meanwhile, in astrometrics, Harry and Janeway had decided to inform the crew of their relationship at the Valentine's Day party in two days. It would be an opportune time to do so, for it gave them a little leeway for planning.
Either way, they were a little apprehensive about the whole thing.
Kathryn said, "I don't know what to do!"
Jokingly, Harry suggested that she visit the local relationship counselors. She gave him the Look, and then smiled. "Well, I'm certain we'll think of something." Her eyes met Harry's. "We could," she said fiendishly, "always ask Neelix."
Harry nodded. "About what?" he asked.
Janeway shrugged. "About how we pull this off without causing an intergalactic incident."
"Oh," Harry said, not sounding too enthusiastic. "I guess that if he's the morale officer, he would have a few ideas."
"Well, we're agreed, then!" said the captain. They left astrometrics arm in arm and headed to the messhall to consult with their local furry alien.
* * *
Neelix was busy in the kitchen preparing for the party. He had hoped the doctor could be his date, but he heard that . . . difficulty had been resolved.
Ah, well, such was life in the Delta Quadrant. You win some, you lose some . . .what was THIS? "Captain?" he called . . .
"Mr. Neelix! Just the man we were hoping to find!"
Neelix did a double-take at the word ‘we.' The captain and Ensign Kim. Now he really had seen it all . . .
"What can I do for you, Captain?" he asked.
The captain seemed to be at a loss for words, and Neelix was appalled at that. Life really was getting strange. Harry spoke up, "We need some advice, Neelix."
Coming from the captain, it hadn't seemed quite so bad, but Ensign Kim referring to himself and the captain as ‘we' was stunning. Neelix stuttered for a while and then finally came out with, "About what?"
Harry really wasn't sure. What did they need advice for? Kathryn rescued him. "We want to make an announcement at your party," she said smoothly. "We were just wondering if there was a way we could do it without causing mass panic."
Neelix could only guess what their announcement was about. But, he wasn't stupid. How long had they been hiding this? "That depends," he said, "on what this announcement is about."
Janeway smiled slyly at him and said, "You'll find out at the party with everyone else."
Neelix's smile almost wavered. "Of course, Captain. Only for you" He bustled around the kitchen. "Hmm. So, you want to make your announcement at a quiet time, do you? Well, we're having a sweetheart's dance."
Janeway nodded slowly. "That could work. Will there be any kind of platform we could stand on?"
Harry, still standing patiently behind her, blushed. It was bad enough they had to announce this to the whole crew. But standing on a platform? During a sweetheart's dance? "I've got a better idea!" He pulled Janeway aside and whispered, "We could just dance during the sweetheart's dance. That would be information enough."
She smiled sweetly at him. "Well, Harry, if you're not embarrassed . . . ."
He responded with a quick, "No! Of course not! I just thought it would be, uh, easier on the crew this way."
Janeway nodded. "Thank you for your advice, Neelix!" she said before hustling Harry out of the messhall.
Neelix stared after them. This was getting stranger and stranger. Who really knew what was going on? He started running through his choices.
Definitely not the doctor. He never had a clue as to what was going on outside sickbay. And he was still recovering from the morning's ordeal. Scratch that.
Maybe Chakotay? No . . . he ruled that out quickly. The captain wouldn't tell him about her relationships with other crewmembers. Or would she?
What about Tom? He always knew what was going on on this ship long before anyone else did. Hmm . . . yes, thought Neelix. Tom would know. "Computer, location of Tom Paris."
"Tom Paris is on Deck Nine, Section Twelve."
Neelix began to rethink his plan - those were B'Elanna's quarters. They could be . . . . Well, nevermind that! He decided to go down there anyways. What's the worst that could happen? They couldn't be too upset with him!
After all, he was on an information-gathering mission. And this was important information - absolutely essential. He snagged an ensign to watch the pot roast for tomorrow's dinner and went to the turbolift.
* * *
B'Elanna Torres awoke to the sound of the door chime ringing. Rolling over, she demanded, "Computer, time?"
"The time is 0102 hours."
She groaned and pulled herself out of bed. Charming. She hurried to the door and it slid aside to admit Neelix, looking much too cheery for 0100 hours. By way of greeting, she demanded, "What?"
Neelix smiled. "Hello, B'Elanna. I was looking for Tom. Is he around?" He continued to grin.
B'Elanna, however, had a pretty good idea what Neelix needed Tom for. Damn Harry. "What do you want, Neelix? He's asleep."
Neelix looked a little put out. "Is it that late?" he asked.
B'Elanna shook her head. "Not really, Neelix. Either way, can I help you?"
Neelix frowned. Finally, he asked, "I wanted to ask Tom if he knew what was happening with Captain Janeway and Harry."
At those words, a storm cloud formed over B'Elanna's tired head. She was sick and tired of this! And, she knew, so was Tom! Finally, enough was enough. "Neelix! Tom's asleep right now. And I don't think the captain would want you asking about her personal affairs!"
Neelix backed away. He tried a smile. "Lieutenant?" he queried, hoping she wouldn't blow up at him.
She calmed. "Neelix, you're the third person to come knocking in the past few hours. It's not personal - just irritating!"
Neelix nodded. "I understand. I'll try to talk to him tomorrow, then. Goodnight, Lieutenant!" Still rather frightened, Neelix made a hasty retreat to his nice, safe, messhall.
B'Elanna retreated to the bedroom. Sighing, she lay back down. Tom peered at her through sleepy eyes. "What was that?" he asked.
She snuggled against him. "Why is there never a bat'leth around when you need one?"
* * *
Harry and the captain had decided to have a very late dinner in the captain's quarters. They were just finishing a bottle of (replicated) wine. They chatted about this and that, everything and nothing. They laughed at recollections of the high points of their voyage and sobered at the lower ones. Then, randomly, Harry blurted, "What about Chakotay?"
Kathryn looked at him in astonishment for a minute and then sighed. "I've thought about that, too. I don't know how he'll take the news. I do know he's always had a crush on me, but . . . ." She trailed off, unsure how to continue.
* * *
What Captain Janeway didn't know was that elsewhere on her too-small ship, one Commander Chakotay was lying awake in his bed. He couldn't sleep. Thoughts of Kathryn Janeway raced around his head.
He had his chance - he knew that. And he'd lost it. But if he could do it all over again, he would have forced her to listen to him! No more stony silences, no ancient legends. Just the facts - plain and simple.
They had had something back then - but he had blown it. He hadn't told her how he felt, and now she had found someone else. He tried not to be jealous of Harry Kim, but he knew Harry had found a woman who was truly one-of-a-kind. Chakotay sighed and rolled over. Hours later, he fell asleep.
* * *
The next two days were a whirlwind for everyone.
B'Elanna had her hands full with EPS relays and plasma conduits, all of which seemed to be inexplicably linked to navigation - so Tom was flying half-blind.
Tuvok decided that it was a great time to run those security drills he'd been putting off, and Seven spent her time updating the astrometrics sensors yet again. That meant that the whole sensor net had to be taken offline for hours on end.
The rest of the crew was looking forward to the party, and the messhall was closed for decorations.
Neelix was busy in the kitchen making new and unusual delicacies for the crew to enjoy this Valentine's Day.
And Janeway was thinking. She wanted everything for this party to go smoothly, but was worried about crew reaction. What would they think of this? Tom and B'Elanna were one thing, but a captain with an ensign eighteen years her junior was something entirely different.
Fortunately, she thought, this crew was resilient. They had adapted to life in the Delta Quadrant - surely they could adapt to seeing their captain and the ops officer together . . . .
She sighed. Only a few hours until the party. Now she needed to decide what to wear!
* * *
Harry, for his part, was wondering whether or not to do something romantic. Roses for Kathryn? Or chocolates. After all, this was a holiday celebrating romance! And whatever was he going to wear? Formal? Formal, but not in uniform? Casual? This was turning into a gigantic headache. Maybe he could ask Neelix?
"Kim to Neelix," he said into his commbadge.
"Neelix here," Neelix answered. "What can I do for you?"
"I was wondering," said Harry, "what exactly is the dress code for tonight?"
Neelix pondered the question. "Well, Ensign, I was thinking - no uniforms. And everyone has to wear red or pink or some variation of that. Isn't that how the holiday is celebrated?" he asked.
Harry did not want to wear pink. "Not really, Neelix. The decorations are usually red or pink - but not the clothes." He was growing impatient. "So, is this going to be formal, semi-formal, or should we just not get dressed at all?"
Harry could almost hear Neelix frown. He hadn't meant that last suggestion seriously, but he liked to make the Talaxian think. "Formal," Neelix decided. "Formal. No uniforms, but formal. Does that make sense?"
Harry nodded. "Of course." He thanked Neelix and signed off, looking through the replicator files for something appropriate. Formal, romantic, but not too formal. And not overdoing it, either.
Aha! There! That was it! It was perfect. The perfect outfit, the perfect gift . . . Kathryn would love it! Now, all he needed was a boutonniere to match. Harry sighed. This was going to be a perfect evening.
* * *
In her quarters, B'Elanna Torres prepared for the party. It was Tom's idea, but she had to admit the long red dress she wore didn't look too awful. For a dress. She swirled around. It would be perfect for dancing - it just barely touched the floor. She whirled around her cabin for a second and had to smile. This was going to be a perfect evening - if Tom ever showed up!
* * *
Tom put the finishing touches on his tuxedo. He straightened the sleeves and the tie and grabbed the last accessory off the chair where it lay. He twirled the blood-red rose (for B'Elanna, of course) between his fingers as he walked towards the turbolift.
"Deck Nine, Section Twelve."
This would be a perfect evening . . . if they could get away from the damned party.
Tom sighed and straightened his tie once again. He resisted the urge to lean against the wall of the turbolift, and was surprised when the turbolift stopped on Deck Six.
"Harry!"
Harry Kim walked in, looking a little worse for the wear, but ecstatic. Tom couldn't help but be happy for his friend.
But the turbolift whirred to a stop at Deck Nine before he could say anything, so Tom settled for patting his friend on the back as he walked off, leaving Harry to stare at the wall in an empty turbolift.
Maybe he should just give himself a concussion - blame it on Tom, of course - and stay in sickbay for the duration of the party. It would probably save him a great deal of embarrassment.
No, he couldn't let Kathryn down. She was looking forward to this so much! The turbolift stopped on her deck. Putting a spring in his step, Harry approached her door and rang the chime.
"Coming!" Kathryn called in a breezy voice.
Harry's jaw dropped when the door opened, and his heart caught in his throat. His captain - no, she didn't look like his captain - Kathryn was wearing a long white dress that clung in all the right places and shimmered when she moved. Her hair was without its usual ten tons of spray and hung loosely to her shoulders.
Harry tried to catch his breath. He tried to speak, and ended up squeaking. She seemed to enjoy his reaction. Finally, he managed to say, "Ca-Ka-a-a . . . . You look beautiful!"
Janeway smiled at his childish stutter. "Thank you, Harry." She offered him her arm and said, "Shall we go?"
Harry let her take his arm and they proceeded to the messhall . . . .
* * *
Neelix put the finishing touches on the huge, heart-shaped cake that was the centerpiece of the table of food. The decorations were perfect, and soft music played. Now, all he needed was the crew!
Oh, there . . . the door was opening! "Neeeeeeeeelix!" the person shouted as she slid across the room into his waiting arms.
"Hello there, Naomi!" he said. He waved to the next person to enter. "Hi, Sam!"
"Hi, Neelix," she greeted. "Naomi's been looking forward to this all day," she said, smiling at her daughter - who had already attacked the food.
The door slid aside and several other crewmembers walked in . . . and the party kicked into gear. Neelix, knowing how these things went, sat back and waited for something to happen.
Soon thereafter, something did.
That something was in the form of Captain Kathryn Janeway and Ensign Harry Kim. They walked in arm-in-arm, much to the surprise of those who hadn't heard the news.
And even the people who knew did double-takes. That wasn't their captain! It had to be some kind of impostor! Tuvok went so far as to blink and raise an eyebrow. He approached the duo. "Captain," he said.
Janeway greeted him with a serene nod and walked right by him. "Neelix!" she enthused.
Neelix blinked - he was having trouble getting over the shock of seeing them together. "Captain! Is there something I can get you?"
Janeway smiled and looked up into Harry's smiling face. "No, Neelix," she said. "I think we have everything we need." Neelix's eyes widened and he took a step back, watching as the couple made their rounds with the other guests. He grabbed the first drink he had put out and gulped it down. And he thought he had seen it all . . . .
In the wake of the excitement, Tom and B'Elanna walked in, virtually ignored. From the dazed looks around the room, they assumed that Harry and his date had arrived - and were causing quite a stir.
Tom smiled. Maybe just this once - just once, that was all he would hope for - he and B'Elanna wouldn't be the center of attention. Maybe they could, for one night, just be. He grinned and twirled B'Elanna around. "Would you like something to drink?" he asked.
B'Elanna smiled. "Not now . . . I want to see what's happening first!" They walked towards the new center of attention. Janeway was draped over Harry's arm, and both were glowing.
B'Elanna looked up at Tom and said, "You know, maybe they are happy together."
Tom frowned. "It's been three days," he groused. His lover grinned, and Tom rolled his eyes. Then, he laughed lightly. Who would've thought? Little, naive Harry Kim as Captain Janeway's date to a Valentine's Day party! It was something he never could've imagined - and he had an active imagination. But, then again, there was a time not too long ago when he would've laughed at anyone who suggested that he and B'Elanna would be together.
He smiled again. Maybe times just change, he thought.
* * *
Commander Chakotay wondered what was going on. How had this happened? In the course of three days, Kathryn Janeway had fallen madly in love with Harry Kim. And now they were dancing. Very close to each other.
Chakotay shuddered. Maybe he would just leave - have a cup of tea and go to bed early. The entire senior staff didn't have to be here! He scuffed the floor with his toe. This was pointless. He started towards the door.
No! He couldn't just leave. He had to accept that they were together! He had to accept that they could be together for a very long time! He had to be happy for them, not bitter. There was no other choice if he wanted to be a good first officer.
Ah, well. There were drinks on the table, and maybe he could find someone to dance with. He considered. Where was Seven?
* * *
Seven of Nine was in a corner sipping a non-alcoholic beverage and discussing the illogical behaviors of the human race with Lieutenant Commander Tuvok. She watched the crew dance.
Seven wasn't sure Ensign Paris and Lieutenant Torres could get any closer to each other while remaining dressed, and . . . what was this? Her ocular implant zoomed in on Captain Janeway. Janeway, who had recently denied having any romantic feelings was dancing with Ensign Kim!
Seven marched across the messhall only to be stopped by Commander Chakotay, who made irrelevant comments regarding her appearance. Seven was irritated. " Commander Chakotay. You are in my way. Please remove your person or I will be forced to --" She was cut off when he held out his hand and politely asked her to dance.
Seven considered the question. It might be a good chance to practice her dancing skills, but considering what had happened with Lieutenant Chapman, it might not be a good idea. She had to decline. "No, thank you, Commander. Dancing is irrelevant." She performed an abrupt about-face away from Chakotay and back to Tuvok.
Chakotay stood with his hand still outstretched, listening as Neelix's voice came over the ship-wide comm. "I hope you are all enjoying yourselves," he said. "I believe Captain Janeway has an announcement to make."
A hush fell over the room as Janeway approached the comm unit.
Harry screamed to himself. This wasn't how it was supposed to go! NO! There was supposed to be that dance and it was supposed to be calm and collected . . . not this! He turned bright red and waited, somewhat shamefully, for Kathryn to speak.
"I know that many of you have noticed my date for the evening," she began. She glanced at Harry. "I have an announcement to make. Harry Kim and I have decided to form, as Seven of Nine would put it, a romantic affiliation." She smiled.
The room went completely silent.
No one spoke for more than a minute. Then, an ensign hiding behind a wine glass raised his hand and asked, "How long has this been going on?"
Janeway, looking a little perturbed, shot back, "Why do you ask, Ensign Calhoun?"
The ensign grimaced - that captain of his had a way of knowing everyone on board! "Just curious, Captain!" he said softly.
Janeway put her hands on her hips. "I don't think that's any of your business!" Janeway dragged Harry back to the dance floor, and the party began to pick up again, but the senior staff stood and stared.
Neelix methodically knocked back drink after drink, paying no attention to the spinning room. Tuvok raised an eyebrow. Tom and B'Elanna grinned. It really WAS nice not being the center of attention.
Tom started to say something, but was interrupted by the entrance of the doctor, dressed much like he had been before - spike heels and all.
B'Elanna growled. "Doc, what in the name of Kahless have you done to yourself!?"
Doc smiled. "I didn't tinker with my program! I just thought it would be time for a change!" B'Elanna growled again, and the doctor made a hasty retreat towards Janeway.
Interrupting her dance with Ensign Kim, he said, "Captain!" He smiled again. "You are aware that if you are having sexual intercourse with a member of the crew, you are obligated to inform me so I can update your medical file."
Janeway let go of Harry and spun around. Her mouth dropped open when she saw what he was wearing. She demanded, "What the hell is that?!"
"I borrowed some of Seven's clothes for the occasion!" Doc said, proud of himself. "I rather like it. I can show off my . . . hair."
Janeway glared. She couldn't really order him to remove it - he was off duty and not being deliberately provocative. She merely nodded and returned to her dance, but the doctor refused to move. "Can I help you?" she asked.
Doc shook his head. "Just enjoying the show, Captain. You know, by putting your hands there, you increase Ensign Kim's . . . ."
She cut him off. "Harry and I are trying to dance. Why don't you go dance with someone?"
Doc smiled and walked away. Approaching Tom and B'Elanna, he said, "They really do make a cute couple." Tom gagged, and B'Elanna dragged him towards the food - away from Doc and the hell that surrounded him.
* * *
Seven of Nine was trying desperately to decide if the humans were acting rationally. She was becoming concerned. Before she could say anything, though, there was a large flash of light!
A decidedly familiar voice chastised, "Oh, Kathy, Kathy, Kathy!" Janeway whirled. Q stood there tapping his foot and shaking his head. "Haven't you learned anything out here?" He sauntered over to where she stood with Harry and snapped his fingers.
Janeway's jaw nearly hit the floor. Q! And . . . Harry? Oh, God. "YOU!"she said. "You're responsible for this!"
Q smiled, giving nothing away. "For what?" he demanded, popping one of Neelix's treats into his mouth. "You're already wearing something delicious."
Janeway glared. "For THIS!" She pointed to herself and Ensign Kim.
Q pouted. "Come, come. Now that you must no longer deal with my affections, I thought you could use something exciting." He leaned close and leered, "Isn't Harry-boy exciting?" Janeway had never heard so much innuendo placed on one word.
Her face contorted into a myriad of grimaces. "Harry."
Harry stepped away from his captain and nearly fell over Tom in his attempt to do so. Tom caught him. Harry demanded, "What's going on!" He looked at himself and his captain. What were they doing? And why did he seem to remember being in the ready room . . . ?
Janeway could barely look at him. "Q," she said, as explanation.
Q grinned. "Of course, Kathy! This whirlwind romance - with a member of your crew, no less! You think it's possible? Or even remotely appealing?" He laughed to himself. "Pathetic humans."
Janeway sighed. Could this get any stranger? And . . . what was she wearing? And her reputation - she had been draped over Harry Kim! He was like a son to her! And here she was trying to contend with Q!
"Get the HELL OFF MY SHIP!" she shouted.
Q snapped his fingers.
Janeway was suddenly wearing most of her uniform. Harry held his saxophone in one hand and his clarinet in the other. Both looked relieved.
The music continued to play and Q vanished.
* * *
The crew was left to their party.
Janeway felt used and disgusted. Had the doctor actually mentioned sex in her presence? Didn't he understand she was the Captain!? She didn't have sex or casual affairs! She had to speak with him about that. Annoyed, she wandered over to Tuvok in a haze, hoping for some Vulcan logic to clear things up.
Harry started to play his clarinet, ignoring the background music. What had gotten into him? The Captain? Harry, Harry, Harry. He could never figure out Q.
Neelix grabbed his twelfth drink. Nothing could phase him now. He had seen everything there was to see.
Chakotay danced with Seven of Nine. Without breaking his arm. She was a, as she would put it, a proficient dancer. Seven considered Commander Chakotay. For a human, he was impressive. She thought. Perhaps she would ask the doctor about him - after she made those modifications to the computer that would enhance the astrometrics sensors . . . .
The doctor sat primly at a table, watching the festivities. He planned to wear this on duty the next day - he wanted to see Mr. Paris' reaction. He imagined that Tom fainted or died laughing . . . those were nice thoughts. He sipped at his holographic drink.
And, in a far corner, Tom and B'Elanna danced close. Captain Janeway and Ensign Kim had the attention for today, and Tom enjoyed it. He knew it wouldn't last long. It was long enough, though. Perfect, in fact. One moment every three years? He laughed. That - that was enough. Three years hadn't brought much time outside the spotlight, but rather stability. Some things, he knew for certain, would never change. And he liked that. He laughed and whirled B'Elanna around the dance floor.
Somewhere, Q laughed.
Stability? Oh, Ensign Paris . . . .
*END*
(Finally. And it's staying ended if I have anything to say about it.)