Comments:

This story was written for Robin from the Chris Larabee Fan Fiction site. She asked for to write a story for a challenge which is CHALLENGE #1: LARABEE LASHINGS. Robin wanted me to hurt Chris in much the same way that I do Ezra and because she is also a fan of Ezra, I was encouraged to include and hurt Ezra Standish as well. I thank her for the challenge and I enjoyed writing it. It has also caused me to include Chris more in future stories.

Trees lined the sidewalk giving the two men some cover from the light rain that had started only minutes before. The day had been warm and the darkness wasn’t able to give them a reprieve. Their t-shirts were soaked with sweat from the physical torture they were putting their bodies through. It was supposed to be called exercise, it was also supposed to good for you. How can anything that makes you hurt be good for you.

Chris Larabee wiped the sweat off his forehead and ran his hands through his wet hair as he jogged beside his undercover agent and friend, Ezra Standish. The peaceful expression on Ezra’s face made him even more angry than he already was. Chris was trying to keep his temper under control because losing it wasn’t going to do him or Ezra any good, it would only make things worse. Hell, how much worse can things get.

His undercover agent had suffered a great deal of emotional torment during his last operation and it was showing. His wall of defence began to crumble a few days ago. The fact that his emotions were showing told them how badly he was doing. His friends were trying to help him but there seemed to be nothing they could do. He had refused to see a shrink and now Chris was attempting the last thing left available to him.

The leader of team seven thought that if he'd manage to get Ezra out on his own that he would be able to convince him to talk. He knew that Ezra tried to jog every evening, so he showed up on his door step forty five minutes ago and now here he was regretting that he'd even tried to help him. He would not do it again, it wasn't worth the effort.

He’d been nice, he talked about the weather and other things. It had been a one sided conversation, Ezra had refused to even acknowledge that someone was with him. So he ordered him to talk. Ezra had politely refused him by using profanity that Chris had never heard him use before. Chris had almost retaliated by using his fists.

Now Larabee was fuming, at himself for even considering doing something so stupid and at the stubborn Southern bastard that ran along side of him. Chris looked sideways at his undercover agent, the handsome features were still impassive. They didn’t reflect what was raging out of control on the inside. But for some reason Ezra didn't care, he didn't care that he was being torn apart because of what had happened or what his stubborn pride was doing to the friends around him.

The temper that Chris had kept under control erupted. He grabbed Ezra by the arm and spun him around and before the Southerner could stop him, Chris pushed him backwards until the brick wall stopped his backward momentum. He ignored the younger man's yelp of pain as his back scraped against the wall. He had become to angry to care, he'd past that emotion two minutes ago.

"Talk and talk now!" Chris growled into the uncaring expression of the Southerner. "You’ve been silent for too long Ezra."

"Mr Larabee, as I have explained to you before, there is nothing and will never be, anything for me to talk about." Ezra answered as calmly as he'd been taught to. "I’m a cold bastard remember, I have no feelings, I don’t care about anybody but myself."

Chris didn't like having the words he’d spoken a few months ago thrown back in his face so he hit him, he couldn't help it, the man had a way that would even make the Pope want to hit him. But he did wince when the side of Ezra's head hit the wall. When the younger man turned back to him, blood ran from the split lip and right temple.

"Is that it?" Ezra wiped the blood from his mouth. He knew his leader was angry, too angry but he didn't expect him to resort to physical violence. "Maybe you want to hit me again, beat me to a pulp. If it’ll help you Mr Larabee, then go ahead."

"Fuck you!" Chris yelled at him. "If you don't talk, your off the team and I mean that Ezra. I’m sick of you shutting us out, you can’t deal with this sort of thing on your own. You’ll be a risk, you won’t be able to do your job, you might even get someone else hurt." Chris regretted those words instantly but he couldn’t take it back, not now, he had to get the bastard to talk about what happened.

Ezra cast his gaze downward but only for a split second. His troubleless green eyes returned to stare at Chris. There was no emotion, no hurt, no anger; nothing. Chris allowed this to enrage him even more.

"If that's the way you want it Ezra, you won't get our help, you can deal with the death of that person on your own." Chris didn’t want to say it but he had to put Ezra’s back against a wall so the only way he could get out of it was to move forward. Ezra’s job was his life, he wouldn’t allow himself to lose it. It may take a few days for him to come back but he will. He knew what he was doing, he hoped he knew what he was doing.

"I don’t want your help," Ezra licked his bloodied lip nervously, "I’ve told you that before, but you won’t listen to me, none of you will.."

Chris grabbed the wet t-shirt that Ezra wore and used his training to throw him away like a piece of garbage. His anger was now controlling him, he knew what he was doing was wrong but he was too angry to stop. He watched as Ezra landed painfully on the road. Chris let out a deep breath, he was grateful that Ezra hadn’t hit one of the large trees. He waited without wanting to help - notch up another one for his anger - as Ezra struggled to lift his still healing body off the road. Fifteen years on the job caused Chris to look towards the sound of a car engine roar then accelerate. Bright headlights highlighted Ezra's form within the darkness. Chris saw the owlishly expression that Ezra's face held as he stared at the oncoming car.

"Shit!" Somehow Chris knew that Ezra wasn't planning on moving and neither was the car.

He rushed forward to tear Ezra away from the danger that was heading towards him. Chris threw himself forward and wrapped his arms around Ezra’s waist, his momentum threw them both forward. When he thought they had escaped injury, his hands were torn from Ezra's body by the impact of the car. Pain tore through his left hip and leg, his shoulder slammed against the hood of the car then everything went black. Chris didn't feel his skull break under the force of the windscreen or as his body fell to the ground in an unmoving heap.

Ezra also fell for a second time, but this time he refused to get up. His green eyes searched the road in front of him, he stopped looking when he saw Chris lying in a heap in the middle of the road. Ezra tried to move but his body refused to obey his commands. Shock. It had to be. He wouldn't purposely not help a dying friend. Chris needed him and he couldn’t go to him. Maybe his own body was hurt but he couldn’t feel any pain. He was a coward, a coward that didn’t want to see what he had caused by being so stupid. But it didn’t matter, Chris was dead already. No one could survive that, the car was going to fast. Car? Did he even look at it or the licence plate number. A hit and run and he couldn't even identify the car involved in Chris' death.

"Chris?" his voice was nothing but a strangled whisper.

He watched and listened as people began to gather around Chris, they crowded his fallen friend and stared down at the blood that covered half of Chris’ face. None of them offered Chris any help, they were just there to watch, they needed something they could use to start a conversation

"Get the hell away from him!" Ezra’s voice couldn’t be heard over the mutterings of the crowd. "Get away from him!" this time his words were loud enough to be heard, they looked at him, ignored him, then turned back to Chris.

Ezra stood up, his anger and fear giving him the strength he needed, and moved to his friend. He pushed his way through the crowd, yelling at them to leave his friend alone. When he reached Chris he fell to his knees, the sight of the blood made him gag. He swallowed and forced himself to look at Chris.

"Chris, I’m sorry, it was my fault, I didn’t . . . " he stopped talking, but the words continued in his mind.

This is my fault. Why did Chris have to give his life to save my worthless hide. He didn't have to die, not for me, he shouldn't have.

Someone yelled out for anyone in the crowd to call 911.

Ezra’s mind was focused on Chris' body. He couldn't physically move any closer to him, he wanted to lift an arm and hold the limp hand in his but he was afraid of getting Chris’ blood on his skin. If that happened he would never be able to wash it off. It would be there for the rest of his life; like Susan Summer’s blood was.

He shouldn't have argued with him, if he'd told him what he was feeling this wouldn't have happened to Chris. It should have been him that was lying dead on the road. He deserved it, not his friend.

Distant sirens sounded in the forefront of his mind. They were too late. Lights flashed on and off causing his eyes to squint against the brightness as they were pulled away from Chris’ face. Hands grabbed him and pulled him away, he fought against them and began to kick out at anything that moved.

Whoever held him finally let go and he dropped to the ground once more. From where he sat he watched as the medics attended to Chris. Clothing materials were torn open and cut off the body. Gloved covered hands were quickly caked with blood. After the initial examination a breathing tube was forced down Chris’ throat, the medics then lifted him onto a stretcher and wheeled him away.

Ezra didn’t know whether to feel relief or fear. The tube meant that Chris was still alive but he wasn’t breathing well enough on his own. He could still die. A face appeared in front of him. Another medic. The expert hands quickly examined his body but he felt nothing. Guilt was the only thing that he could feel now. Guilt and self hatred. He had done this. He was lifted to his feet and walked to a waiting ambulance. Ezra thought about refusing to go with them, he wanted to hide, to go home and drink himself into a drunken stupor but he knew he couldn’t. Someone had to phone the others and he preferred that it wasn’t a stranger that informed his friends that Chris was dying.

Five men stormed through the swinging doors of the emergency department. Vin Tanner lead the small group that had every intention of spending every hour of every day with their friend and leader. Ezra had phoned Vin and given him the bad news but hadn’t give him a lot of information on Chris’ condition. Vin walked purposely to the front desk, the expression he held told everyone that no one was going to survive. Get in his way and you die. In his mind it was as simple as that.

The only nurse at the desk was talking to an unknown person on the phone. Vin listened for three seconds - a miracle - and once he knew that it wasn't an emergency he leant over the desk and disconnected the call.

"Chris Larabee and Ezra Standish! Where are they?" Vin's voice was calm, the tone even but the four men who stood behind him knew what he was really feeling. They were all feeling the same fear.

The elderly nurse adjusted the hair over her ear and smiled kindly to the man that had disconnected the call to her daughter. She recognised the look and decided not to argue. "Mr Standish is in the emergency waiting room. " she pointed towards the door that read 'waiting room'. Vin wanted to hit her. "Mr Larabee is in surgery. I'm sorry but I don't have any news on his condition. I'll make sure that a doctor will come down once the surgery is over."

"And Ezra?" Nathan moved closer to the desk. He grimaced at the confused features. "How is he? Did he get hurt?"

"There are a few slight injuries but he refused to allow us to look at them. He said he didn't get them from the incident, as he put it."

"If you could get a doctor please and have a sedative ready. He'll need it." Nathan began to walk towards the waiting room.

"Why would you need a . . . " she began.

"Just do it!" Josiah growled in his baritone voice.

Nathan stood outside the glass doors and waited. He knew what Ezra had been going through, they all did. He'd been a wreck ever since the death of Susan Summers. He just wouldn't let the rest of them see it, or know it but they could see the small signs that he couldn't hide and those signs had been getting easier to see. She had been an innocent victim and the Southerner had taken on the responsibility of her death. Only Chris knew all the details but they knew enough to know that he was hurting inside. And now this had to happen. Their undercover agent sat in a chair, his elbows rested on his knees, his head was placed between those knees and his hands were connected over the back of his head. Nathan could see the blood on Ezra's fingers, was it his or Chris'. The ex-medic couldn't see Ezra’s face. Nathan knew he was going to have to force the younger man to allow the doctor to check him over. Forcing him would cause him to fight back, the agent would even resort to the use physical violence if he thought it would help him win. That's where the sedative was needed.

The dark agent turned slightly to take in Vin's worried form. "Send the doc in when he gets here." he nodded to Josiah to join him.

"I want to know what happened to Chris first Nathan. I need to know." Vin grabbed his arm before he could open the door.

Nathan retaliated by taking Vin's shirt front and dragging his face towards the glass door. "Look at him Vin. Ezra's in no condition to tell you anything. I would say for sure that he's in shock. Doctors should have checked him over, should have done their job." he let Vin go. "You can wait like the rest of us."

Nathan opened the door and stepped through it. He then moved slowly to the unoccupied chair that sat next to Ezra. The emergency room was eerily quiet for a Friday night. Maybe it was the calm before the storm. It happened, he knew it from previous experience. They had better get Ezra taken care of while they had the chance. He sat down in the seat and placed a hand on Ezra's shoulder. He could feel the small tremors that radiated from the body next to him. He waited until Josiah filled the chair on Ezra's right.

"Ezra, we're going to get the doctor to have a look at you." Nathan squeezed the shoulder in support and in an attempt to stop him from running.

"I'm fine." the Southern accent was thick and full of emotion.

"No your not." Josiah took an arm and removed it from it's position.

Ezra pulled the arm back but Josiah held onto it in a tight grip. He nodded to Nathan, the fight was about to begin. Nathan pulled the other hand free and together they forced the smaller man to stand. The ex-medic in Nathan saw the injuries and even though they weren't serious he knew they were doing the right thing. The glazed green orbs also told him that he was correct in his assumption that he would be suffering from shock.

Ezra didn't want help, he didn't need it, or deserve it. He was no longer a part of the team, Chris had fired him. Would they allow him to go to Chris' funeral? No, not if they blamed him and they would. His anger at his own self inflicted situation rose and he used what strength he had left to pull away from the two strong grips that held him. He was only free for a few seconds before their grips returned. He fought them, why, he didn't really know anymore. A hand wrapped around his throat. He listened as more people entered the room. His right arm was pulled straight out in front of him. A man in a white coat appeared before him. A needle gleamed in the uncalloused hand. He fought even harder as the needle pricked his skin.

Within five seconds Ezra's eyes rolled into the back of his sockets. Nathan felt the struggles stop as the burden of the smaller man's weight fell into his arms. He eased him into Josiah's hold and followed the larger man to the gurney that waited outside.

"You should have done this earlier." Nathan warned the doctor that had begun to check Ezra's injuries.

"He said he was fine. We can’t force him to receive medical treatment." the doctor glared at Nathan. "I shouldn’t have done what I just did."

"Well now that you’ve done it, you can check him over and take care of his injuries." Josiah growled at him.

"I’ll let you know when we’ve finished so you can take him home."

"No need, I'm coming with you," Nathan helped pushed the gurney towards one of the treatment rooms, "and I doubt he’ll be going home."

Vin had watched as Nathan and Josiah subdued Ezra with the help of a doctor and sedative. Josiah had then carried out the injured agent and carefully laid him down on the gurney. Vin looked into the face that looked younger than the man actually was and berated himself. Nathan was right. How could he put his own needs before Ezra. The Southerner had been there, he’d seen it happen. Ezra needed them just as much as Chris did, if not more.

Ezra woke up with a churning stomach and a bad headache. He could smell the starch sheet that covered him. But there was no sound from a heart monitor or ventilator machine. He was fine. Chris wasn't. His former leader and friend no doubt died while he was asleep. He didn't want to open his eyes to see the angry faces that surrounded him. Not that any of them were there with him. Vin and Buck would be with Chris. They would be informing the doctors of the funeral home that should be contacted for their friend's remains. But his stomach didn't give him a choice. It wanted to empty itself of the turmoil that had gripped his stomach from the moment Chris Larabee had knocked on his door. It had been the same every night for the last five days. Tonight it had finally come to a head. He hadn't appreciated the help his friends were trying to give him. They didn't understand what he was going through so how could they begin to help him, and because of his stubborn pride, Chris was either dead or dying.

He opened his eyes and turned to his side. A silver bowl was being held for him. The hands were delicate and soft, they obviously belonged to a female. The others weren't here, it was for the best. He allowed his stomach to do it's work. The muscles clenched and unclenched until they ached. The nurse wiped his mouth when he had finished then gave him some water to drink, she then helped him back onto the gurney. He wasn't in a bed, they hadn't admitted him. He could go home but he didn't want to. He had to find out about Chris, but he was being forced to wait, his stomach was refusing to settle. His eyes closed and he rolled onto his left side.

"Ezra?" Josiah waited, he didn't think Ezra had fallen asleep again. He put his hand on his friend's shoulder and Ezra jerked away from him. "It's okay Ezra, your okay. Doc said you'll be fine."

Ezra nodded, he knew he was fine, the car didn’t hit him like it was supposed to. Chris had gotten in the way because he was feeling too much self-pity to move his own stubborn butt out of the way.

"They just want you to rest here for a while, then I'll take you home." The larger man put his hand back onto Ezra's shoulder but the younger man pushed it away again. Josiah hung his head. Ezra was still fighting them and now was not the time to fight back.

"How’s Chris?" His voice was a whisper.

"Still in surgery." Josiah told him. "We don't know yet."

"Where’s everyone else?" Ezra started to push himself up. He wanted to be there when Chris died.

"Whoa there Ezra, you need to rest." Josiah assured him as he tried to push him back down.

"No I don’t! I want to be there when Chris . . . " Ezra pushed him away and fell back down onto the gurney.

"Chris won’t die Ezra."

“How would you know? Did God tell you that?” Ezra retorted.

"You’re right Ezra, I don’t know.” Josiah hung his head in shame, he shouldn’t lie to Ezra, not under these circumstances. "I shouldn’t have said that."

"No you shouldn’t have, you didn’t see him lying there on the road, covered in blood. I thought he was dead Josiah, I still think he’s dead. I need to see him so that I know he isn’t."

"I can't convince you to stay here for a while then?" Josiah watched as Ezra gave him an angry glare. "Okay."

Ezra struggled to sit up, it was a task but he managed it. Every part of his body ached, pain from the old bruising had been reignited. He looked upwards towards Josiah and found him looking at him. He didn't like the expression that he held. It was full of pity and guilt. He quickly looked away from him and ignored the arms that were reaching out to help him. He could do this on his own, he was going to have to start doing things on his own again. Once the others found out what had happened they weren't going to want anything to do with him. It was something he couldn't blame them for. Ezra ignored the pain and pushed himself off the gurney and onto the floor. His legs shook and he almost fell, but they soon steadied themselves. He indicated to Josiah that he was okay. Josiah led the way and Ezra followed him.

The silence filled the elevator as it made it's way to the eighth floor and the ICU. Ezra felt Josiah's eyes as the man continued to look at him, but he refused to acknowledge that Josiah was even there. The short trip was agonisingly slow for Ezra. He wasn't enjoying being in a confined space with a man that was capable of killing him with his bare hands. He rested with his back leaning on the wall of the elevator and his eyes stared at his feet. Ezra listened as Josiah began to try and make conversation with him, there were questions that he refused to answer and others that he couldn't answer.

The elevator stopped and he walked slowly behind Josiah. He didn't know what the reception was going to be like; they didn’t know what really happened but they soon will. He heard Buck and JD's voices then saw their feet stop in front of him. Nathan's larger feet came next and he felt his hands on him. He pushed and stepped away at the same time. Vin's quieter voice asked him how he was doing. He didn't answer.

"Have you heard anything about Chris?"

"Not yet Ezra, it’ll probably be a few hours before we see the doctor." Nathan informed him. "Why don’t you come and sit down before you fall down."

Ezra began to make his way to a corner that housed a single chair, he wanted to sit alone. Hands grabbed both of his arms and pulled him towards the centre chair against the wall. Nathan sat on his left and Josiah on his right. The others sat on the floor around him. It wasn't what he wanted. He wanted to be alone. He lifted his feet up onto the seat and pressed his knees against his chest. He wrapped his arms around them and placed his head against his knees. This helped him to hide from the others.

"How you feeling Ezra?" Nathan looked sideways at him. "Ezra?"

"I’m fine, the car didn’t hit me, it hit Chris."

"I didn’t ask if you were okay, I asked how you were feeling." Nathan repeated his question.

Ezra lifted his head and stared at the ex-medic. "Oh, I’m just dandy Nathan, I feel great, which is quite surprising actually. I mean I just watched a friend get run down by a car, thought he was dead but he wasn’t, although he still might die. Yeah, I feel fucking great."

"You’ve got a right to be angry Ezra, but do you think you should be taking that anger out on us." Nathan put his hand on the back of Ezra's neck and felt him tense up underneath his touch. "And you’ve gotten yourself a fever."

"I’m sorry.” Ezra said it but he didn’t really feel sorry, he knew he should but he was thinking about the way he knew these men would react when they found out the truth.

"You want me to take him home?" Josiah asked Nathan.

"I don't want to go home." Ezra growled at them.

"That’s understandable." Buck muttered from his position on the floor. He patted Ezra's leg in understanding.

The silence settled over the waiting room. Each man fighting the fear of loosing one of their own. A leader they respected and admired, a man that was more like family than a friend. Vin still wanted to know what happened but didn't want to question Ezra in the state that he was in. It could wait. Everyone but Ezra looked up when the elevator doors opened. Two police officers stepped out.

"Ezra." Josiah nudged him. "Ezra, the police are here."

"Tell them to go away." Was Ezra's only response.

"Can't do that Sir." The larger officer stated the fact with an expression of impatience and anger. "We’d like to question you about the accident."

"He's not up to it." Nathan stood up and moved closer to Ezra's side in an attempt to protect him, which is more than he had been doing for him lately.

"This will only take a few minutes. We can get a more detailed statement tomorrow." the second officer spoke with more sympathy than his partner did. "It's best we get an APB out on the car and driver tonight, rather than tomorrow."

Nathan nodded in understanding and sat back down. The first officer stepped back to allow his partner to question the second victim. They had been informed that the first victim was still in surgery and they wouldn't be able to question him for a while; if he lived.

"Why don't we start with your name." he took out a pen and note book.

"Ezra Standish." Josiah spoke for a silent Standish. "He's ATF, we all are."

"You want to tell me what happened out there Agent Standish."

It took a few moments for Ezra to answer. When he did, his head stayed hidden and his body began to shake. He was going to have to tell the truth. They were about to find out how it happened. "I was in the middle of the road, the car was coming but I couldn’t move. Chris tried to get me out of the way, which he did, but the car hit him instead." he could see everyone’s eyes staring at him, he was the centre of attention.

"Did you get a look at the driver?" the second officer continued.

"No." Ezra's voice was low.

"What about the car?"

"No." It was barely a whisper now.

"I thought you said he was ATF." The first officer scowled down at him. "Your supposed to be able to . . . "

Buck had enough, the man had no right to talk to Ezra like that, not after what he'd been through. He jumped to his feet and used his right fist to stop the demeaning words and wipe the expression off the officer's face. Buck grimaced at the pain in his hand, he rubbed it as he continued to give the officer a threatening look. He was grateful for the support when the others stood up and moved next to him. A wall of human bodies appeared in front of Ezra and they were willing to do anything to protect him, even after what they just heard.

"You just assaulted a police officer." the man spoke from his position on the floor.

"Forget it Bill. You deserved it." the officer that was still standing smiled at Buck to ease the tension then waited patiently for the man's protector's to move away from him. "You didn't see anything that might help us?"

"No."

"You saw nothing?"

"I didn’t see anything."

"What were you doing in the middle of the road?"

“I was crossing it." Ezra lied, they didn’t need to know that part yet.

The five ATF agents could hear the anger in Ezra's voice. He was only just holding it together.

"That's enough." Nathan stood back up. "You can talk to him tomorrow."

"Any particular reason why you didn’t move yourself out of the way?"

"No . . . I don’t know why I didn’t move . . . "

"Your friend ran from the street onto the road to save you, and you can’t explain why you didn’t save yourself." the officer that Buck had hit got his confidence back, if anyone tried to hit him, he’ll be ready for them.

"I said that was enough!" Nathan raised his voice.

"I guess I froze."

"You froze, that’s all you have to say. Your friend almost died, probably will die because you were too scared to move out of the way. Are you a coward . . . “

Ezra took the bait and rushed out of his chair, he pushed Buck out of the way and ran his shoulder into the officer’s midsection. He felt an elbow slam against his back but it wasn’t enough to stop him. Ezra threw his head up in a controlled motion and felt it smack against the asshole’s chin. The cry of pain he heard brought a smile to his face. He used his knee next, slamming it into the man’s groin. The officer fell to the floor and curled himself up against the pain.

"Now that was assaulting a police officer." the second officer informed Ezra. "You Agent Standish are under arrest."

"No he isn’t." Buck stepped in front of Ezra.

"You’ll have to go through us to get him, that means you’re going to need backup." Vin smiled at the police officer.

"Our boss is a Judge, he’ll say it was a false arrest, have it put on your record and you’ll stay in uniform for the rest of your career." Josiah crossed his arms and joined Buck.

"Can we have an address where we can reach him if we need to speak to him again." he wasn’t that stupid that he would ruin his career or pension.

"We'll be here." Josiah stated with confidence. More confidence than he actually felt.

"We'll come back tomorrow then." the officer tipped his hat and picked his partner up off the floor.

Ezra returned to his original position in the chair. His eyes closed, he was still feeling the after effects of the sedative that he was forced to take. He wanted to go back to sleep, to wish that it was all a dream, to wake up to find that he was late for work and to arrive to a demeaning speech about tardiness that was given to him by a very healthy Chris Larabee. What if Chris died while he was sleeping, no, he had to stay awake.

Ezra managed it for just over an hour, then his head fell towards his chest but he jerked it back up again. He blinked quickly trying to drive the threat of sleep away. He felt someone begin to pull him down towards the chairs.

"I don’t want to go to sleep." Ezra protested.

"You need to sleep Ezra, we'll wake you when the doctor comes. Okay." Nathan put the folded jacket that Buck had given him under the smaller man's head. Josiah's larger one was used as a blanket. A few minutes later Ezra was asleep, he wasn’t able to fight it any longer.

"Wonder where he got the split lip, he didn’t have it when he left work." Vin reached a slim finger towards the injury but didn’t touch it.

"I wouldn’t think that it would’ve happened during the accident, looks like someone hit him." Nathan shrugged.

"Think Chris did it?"

"Why would Chris hit him." Buck joined the conversation.

"Why would anyone hit Ezra.” Vin slapped Buck across the back of the head.

"You’ve got a point there Vin.” Buck nodded.

Buck lifted his head and looked around at his silent comrades, they wouldn't return the look. He didn't mind, he didn't want to see the fear that mirrored his own. His light blue eyes fell onto Ezra's sleeping form. He hadn't moved since he fell asleep. The pity that he felt pulled at his stomach. Why did Ezra have to go through this after what he was already going through. Life wasn't right, and most of the time Ezra's life wasn't right. It always seemed to do him wrong. He looked down at his watch to find that three hours had passed. Shit! What was taking them so long. The sound of the waiting room doors opening answered his question. A doctor wearing blue scrubs walked into the room.

"Ezra!" Buck violently pushed him. He didn't want to spend ten minutes trying to wake him up.

"Are you gentlemen here for Chris Larabee?"

"Yeah." Vin answered then turned away and shook Ezra again. "Ezra! The doc's here."

Ezra opened his eyes and looked for the man who had brought them the bad news. He sat up and squinted through his half closed eyelids, sleep still had control of him.

"I'm Doctor Haroldson." He introduced himself and after the impatient looks he received he continued. "Mr Larabee is in the post-op recovery room at the moment, we'll be moving him to the ICU shortly."

"He's still alive then?" Nathan asked him.

"Yes." he looked at Ezra. "Is he okay?"

"Not really, he was there when it happened, shock but he won't go home." Nathan informed him. "Back to Chris, what are his injuries?"

"His injuries are mostly to his left side. His hip was dislocated, he's going to be off it for a while. There was internal damage, blood vessel problems and his kidney which we had to remove . . . "

"You removed his kidney?" Buck was shocked.

"Had to, couldn't repair it, too much damage." he replied. "A few cracked ribs. Hell of a lot of bruising. But there may be a problem . . . at the moment he’s in a coma and he’s having trouble breathing on his own. We did a CT and found nothing wrong, there isn’t a skull fracture, no swelling to the brain or excessive fluid, and no bleeding. So at the moment we don’t know why he’s in the condition he’s in, there’s no reason for it. The EEG was also fine, so we know there’s brain activity. Everything looks fine"

"You don’t know why he’s in a coma?" Buck asked him even though the doctor had just told them that.

"No we don’t."

"Is he going to wake up?"

"Yes he should, it’s just a matter of when, it could be a few hours or a few days." "Will he be okay though, I mean if you’re sure he’s going to wake up soon?" it was Vin who asked the question.

"As long as no complications set in then yes, he should be." the doctor smiled. "And if he doesn’t wake up?" Buck took control of the conversation again.

"He’ll wake up, I’m positive."

"But what if he doesn’t."

"Then he’ll stay like that."

"Shit!"

"Don’t worry, he’ll wake up." the expressions the men held told him that they didn’t believe him, they had already decided that their friend wasn’t going to wake up again. "He was very lucky that the car wasn't going at top speed, he wouldn't have survived."

"What do you mean?" Vin stepped forward.

"From my experience I would say that the car wasn’t going very fast. It was moving fast enough to do some damage but not enough to kill him."

"When can we see him?" Buck asked him.

"He'll be in recovery for a few more hours, then we'll move him to ICU, you can see him then. In the meantime, why don't you get some rest or something to eat. Maybe you can get your friend there something warm to drink, make it sweet. I'll send someone to get you when Mr Larabee's ready for visitors."

"Thanks doc, appreciate the help." Vin shook his hand.

"No problem. I'll see you later." he turned and left them alone.

Vin waited for the doctor to leave before turning to his friends with a large smile on his face. "He's going to be fine."

"You hear that Ezra, Chris is going to be fine." Buck knelt down in front of him and slapped him on the shoulder. "He's going to be just fine."

"Only if he wakes up Buck!"

Vin was the first to step into the ICU with Buck close on his heels. Both men were in a hurry to see their friend, to assure themselves that he was still alive. The two men stopped, causing the others to bump into them. Wide opened eyes stared at the form in the bed. Chris was pale, too pale, he didn't look okay. The heart-monitor beeped as the movements of the green line echoed the sounds. The respirator tube filled his mouth and throat, forcing oxygen-rich air into his lungs. Chris' shallow breathing was both, a welcome sight and sound, although it was the respirator that was breathing for him. Vin looked at the breathing monitor, each breath was assisted, he knew the tube wouldn’t be removed until the monitor told them that Chris was taking each breath on his own. IV lines were inserted into the back of his palms. One hand was bruised, showing them that it had taken more than one attempt to insert the IV. A large square bandage covered part of his left skull. The sheet that covered him stopped at the waist allowing them to see the bandage that covered the wound to his side. A kidney had been removed. But he was still alive that was the main thing.

There were only two chairs in the ICU cubicle. Vin and Buck took them. They would alternate with the others so each man would get to sit close to Chris. The others circled around the bed. Ezra stayed by the door. He refused to go any closer to the man he had nearly killed. Chris Larabee may still be breathing, but that didn't mean that he was going to live. He had done this to him, no one else. If only he hadn't fought with him, if he had talked like Chris had ordered him then he wouldn't have ended up in the middle of the road. Why had he just stood there like a scared animal, he didn't know. But the lack of movement had forced Chris to risk his life to save his. Why? His life wasn't worth anything.

"Hey Chris, it's Vin. You hear me in there?" Vin leaned forward and picked up Chris' left hand. He had to hold it from underneath so he wouldn't pull at the IV.

Chris didn't react to the sound, there was no movement under the eyelids, no twitching of the mouth to show that he was trying to say something. He just continued to breath in and out. His chest rose slowly then collapsed slowly. The movement repeated itself. It was better than no movement at all.

"It was a good thing you did to keep Ezra from being hit, pity you didn’t move any quicker." Buck smiled down at his friend. "You’re getting to old for that sort of shit."

Five men turned when they heard a loud intake of breath. They saw Ezra quickly look away from them. He was trying to force himself further back into the door.

"How come you didn’t see the car Ezra?" Vin asked.

Ezra only turned further away from them. His mind was in turmoil. The body lying on the bed reminded him of the bloodied corpse of Susan Summers. She died, and her death was caused by him. An innocent victim, he should have done more for her, he should have saved her life.

"Leave him be Vin." Nathan warned him. "This wasn't Ezra's fault."

"I wasn't saying that Nathan," Vin retorted, "I just wanted to know why he didn’t see the car."

Ezra knew what Vin was thinking, it was the same thought that crossed the mind of the police officer that had questioned him earlier. As far as he was concerned they were right. He was an ATF agent for christ sake. He'd been trained to see things that normal people couldn't see. His mother had trained him to read people, to spot a con, to see things that he could use. All his life he took notice of everything, he never missed anything. And now . . . now all his training had failed him, he didn't see the driver, or the type of car they were driving, or the licence plate. He was useless. Ezra was now grateful that Chris had fired him, he wasn't any use to the team. Not anymore.

"I think it's about time we got some coffee." Josiah informed the group. "Ezra you want to come with me?"

Ezra shook his head. Josiah would only try to talk to him. Tell him it wasn't his fault - that would be a lie - that he shouldn't blame himself for what had happened. That's what he had tried to tell him before.

"I'll go with you Josiah." JD moved towards him. "I need some air anyway."

Josiah agreed and before he left, he gave Nathan a look that told the ex-medic to take care of Ezra. The Southerner was angry, angry at himself and the world around him. He was going to crack soon and they couldn’t allow him to be alone when he did, he might be angry enough to hurt himself.

"When do you think he'll wake up Nathan?" Vin asked him.

"You heard what the doctor said Vin, I can’t tell you anything different, we'll have to wait." Nathan explained to him.

"Exactly, why don't we do the thing that we do best!" Buck growled. "Wait."

"After we're sure Chris will be fine we'll go and find the person who did this." Vin stated with anger.

“And how are we supposed to do that Vin. Ezra didn't see anything, we've got nothing to go on." Buck reminded him.

Ezra slumped and allowed himself to slide down the wall until he was sitting on the floor. They were blaming him, as they should. Hell! They wouldn't blame him for leaving. He knew that was a certainty. He couldn’t win either way with these men.

Vin saw an expression on Ezra's face that equalled guilt. Ezra knew something but he wasn't telling them what it was. He was going to have to ask him later. But how was he going to get him to talk. Ezra had refused to speak to anyone in regards to how he was feeling and coping with the death of the woman during his last case. This time he was angry, maybe he could use that against Ezra, use it to get him to talk.

"Come on Chris, wake up. Don't make us wait." Buck was becoming impatient. He wanted to hear his friend's voice.

Chris Larabee, through no fault of his own, had every intention of making his friends wait.

It wasn't until six-thirty in the evening three days later that Chris Larabee became aware of his surroundings and the pain that filled him. Voices were surrounding him, some familiar, some strange. He fought his confused mind to try and remember what happened. It took a few seconds then he remembered Ezra. The undercover agent had stood in the middle of the road waiting for that car to hit him. He tried to swim upwards out of the darkness he was in. Light soon invaded his mind and he had to squint to ease the brightness. The pain in his skull grew in intensity. God he was in pain. He'd only been hit by a car, not a truck. He could also feel something that was filling his throat, making it hard for him to breath.

Ezra! He had to take care of Ezra, make sure the stubborn bastard didn't do anything else that was as stupid as the stunt that he had pulled earlier. Why did he do such a thing? He knew he was suffering, that he wasn't dealing with his problems but to just stand there and wait to be killed. That wasn't any way for a man to go.

The voices became louder. He recognised Vin and Buck's voices. They would take care of Ezra for him until he was capable of doing it himself. If only he could open his eyes, get their attention and then give them their orders. He blinked finally and stared up into an unfamiliar face. He frowned in confusion. He hadn't wanted this man, he wanted Vin or Buck. Chris blinked again and groaned as his eyelids grew heavy. Not now! Have to talk to Vin and Buck. Gotta help Ezra. Ezra needs me. Not now. His eyes closed as he drifted off. He fought it as long as he could but it was a losing struggle.

"That's a very good sign." the doctor informed them. "Even though he was only awake for a few seconds. A very good sign. We should know for sure when he wakes up again. We’ll also take the breathing tube out, he’s breathing more on his own now."

"That's a relief." Vin replied as he smiled down at Chris' slack face. His friend was fine. Now that they knew that, they could take care of Ezra. He looked over at Ezra. The man sat in a chair in the far corner of the room. He had refused to sit anywhere near Chris. The man was obviously blaming himself for what happened to their leader. A full cup of coffee sat in his right hand. He wasn't drinking it. No doubt it would be cold by now. He had also refused to eat a decent meal. They had tried to force him but the expression that he had given them told them that he would fight anyone who came close to him.

The Southerner was close to breaking. Vin knew it, they all knew it but they couldn't get close to the man. JD had been the one to give him the coffee. He turned his eyes to Nathan. The larger man was also watching Ezra. The concern he was feeling was evident on his expression. He watched as Josiah joined Nathan in his scrutiny of Ezra Standish. They spoke to each other for a few seconds then moved towards Ezra. Vin stood up, they were going to need help.

"Ezra." Nathan knelt down in front of him but not too close. Ezra had a habit of kicking out with his legs. As a child he had learnt to cheat when it came to fighting boys who were both larger and taller than him. "I think it's time we took you home. You need some rest."

"No."

"Ezra, it’s been three days, you’ve hardly eaten or slept since this happened." Josiah also tried to convince him that he should go home.

"No."

"Ezra . . . "

"I said NO!" Ezra shouted at them.

"You need to rest Ezra, you won't do Chris any good by getting sick yourself." Nathan tried.

"We're taking you home Ezra." Josiah leant over the smaller man and attempted to grab his arms.

Ezra pushed him away and the coffee spilt everywhere. He wanted to fight them, just like he had the other four times they had tried to force him to go home but he was too tired to protest physically so he had to try it verbally.

"Please Josiah, after he wakes up again. I'll go home then. Please."

Josiah stood back and hung his head. He didn't know what to say. He'd never seen Ezra beg before.

"Promise Ezra." Nathan answered for him.

"Promise." Ezra nodded.

Ezra wanted to see Chris awake, to hear the doctor say he was going to be fine. After that he would go home. Not to rest but to pack his things and leave.

He was going to get a second chance, he could feel it. Life was coming back to him and it felt stronger this time. He floated upwards into the light and opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was the white ceiling of the hospital ward. He opened his mouth to give the warning that he so desperately wanted to give. Nothing came out. Now what!? He tried again and all he heard was a soft moan. A face quickly appeared in front of him blocking his view of the tiles above him.

"Hey Chris, good to see you." Vin smiled down at him.

Chris turned his head and almost cried out at the pain and nausea that filled him. He swallowed the bile and looked into Vin's eyes.

"Ez . . ." Chris managed to say.

"He's fine Chris." Buck assured him.

Chris wanted to turn and look at Buck but he didn't dare. "Ezra . . . "

"He's here. You want to talk to him?" Vin asked him.

"Ezra . . . " Chris started but couldn't finish.

"I know Chris, don't worry we'll look after him." Vin patted his shoulder. "You get some rest. We'll be here when you wake up."

Chris tried again. Why was it so hard. Ezra needed help and he couldn't do it. He wasn't capable of asking his friends to take care of him.

"Ezra . . . " A single tear ran down his cheek. He remembered and forced his eyes wide, he had to stay awake, he had to tell them. It wasn't an accident, he had known that the car was deliberately aiming for Ezra. It had been the driver's intention to hit Ezra. He'd realised it at the time. He was able to help Ezra then by pushing him out of the way but he couldn't help him now. What if the person tried again and there was no one there to help Ezra.

"Vin . . . have to . . . " No he couldn't form the words. They were becoming slurred and more difficult to say. Chris raised an arm trying to hang onto the outside world. Someone gently took it and laid it back down on the bed next to his side. He was going back to the darkness. "Have to . . . " his eyes closed and he couldn't force them open again. He couldn't fight it anymore. He went back into the world of darkness knowing that Ezra's life was in danger.

Vin felt someone shift behind him, he turned to find Ezra staring at Chris.

"I'll go home now."

"I'll take you." Buck went to grab his coat from the back of the chair.

"No. You stay. I'll just have a shower, sleep, then come back." Ezra slowly moved to the door and opened it. He turned and looked at Chris one last time. The door closed behind him.

"We should go with him Vin." Buck was looking at the closed door.

"We will as soon as the others get back. I don't want to leave Chris alone." Vin sat back down. "They won't be long, then we'll go look after Ezra."

"I think I'll go after him." Buck told him.

"Leave him be for a little while Buck, he needs some time alone. We'll check on him later." Vin nodded to chair.

Buck nodded and sat back down. He hoped Vin was right. Ezra didn't look like he should be left alone. He needed help even if he didn't want it. He hadn't wanted it since that girl had died. Maybe Vin was right. Ezra hadn't had a lot of time alone since the girl's death. Perhaps that's just what the Southerner needed and wanted.

Ezra stopped in front of his townhouse and looked around at the surrounding area. He’d always liked this place, mainly because it was the first place he thought he would, one day, be able to call home. But he had known better and he was correct in his assumptions. He was both grateful and regretful that he had never unpacked his belongings and made it the home he wanted it to be. The thought brought back a memory. The last time he had thought that he had been transferred without his knowledge to the ATF. To a group of people that he hoped was going to allow him to stay. It didn't happen, he'd been fired. It was time to move on, find another career and a place to live. He would have to go to a hotel and pay by the day. He wasn't going to remain in one place for very long, not under the new conditions of his life. Things were never going to be the same again.

He pulled out his keys and unlocked the door. He didn't bother turning on a light, the darkness satisfied his mood. Ezra moved through the darkened hallway into the living area. His bedroom was to his left but movement from his right caught his attention. He turned quickly but not quick enough. A blurred vision of a heavyset man was the only thing he saw before a fist sent him to the floor. He grimaced at the pain as he looked for his attacker. Was it one of his friends? Josiah perhaps? No, they wouldn't have been able to reach his home before him.

"Still alive I see Standish." the husky voiced growled down at him.

This was definitely not one of his former co-workers. "Who cares?" Ezra struggled to get up but the lack of food and sleep had caused his body to weaken. Jesus, why was everything going so wrong lately.

"I certainly don't. I was aiming for you but your friend caused me to miss." the voice continued.

Ezra felt a hand tighten around his throat and begin to cut off his air supply. He struggled and kicked out at the form in front of him as he was lifted off the beige carpeted floor. He felt himself moving through the air but his movement stopped when he hit the wall. His ribs felt the blow and caused a bolt of pain to rise up into his chest.

"Lucky son of a bitch aren't you."

"Depends on who you’re asking." Ezra felt the hot breath on his face and he tried to move away from it.

"So why'd he do it?" the man that Ezra was yet to recognise asked him.

"Why did who do what?" he continued to grabbed at the hand that was wrapped around his throat. It was tight enough to cause him to struggle for air but lose enough to allow him to talk. This man knew what he was doing.

"The man who pushed you away. I mean your life isn't worth saving and no one should waste their own to save yours, that's for sure. But maybe the poor bastard didn't know any better."

"Who the hell are you anyway?"

"I'm the man that's going to finish off your friend, then you." he growled.

Chris!? He was going to finish off Chris. Why? Ezra began to fight even harder. He managed to pull his knee up and slam it hard into the man's groin. The grip around his throat loosened but didn't disappear. He used his knee a second time then he felt himself fall to the floor. Ezra didn't stay down for very long. He quickly got up and used his knee for a third time, this time it slammed into the unprotected face of the man that was bent towards him. The man cried out in pain as the cartilage in his nose broke easily under the blow.

Ezra then threw a right hook but it was blocked by a raised arm. A fist connected with his stomach and forced the wind from his lungs. The healing cracked ribs screamed in protest. Now if Chris had been concerned about his ribs he wouldn't have been running last night and Chris wouldn't have nearly been killed. Ezra was almost angry enough to blame Chris for what had happened. But it was his own fault that Chris had been forcing him to go jogging.

A fist to his face forced him to the ground again. A heavy weight landed on his chest, the man was now sitting on him. His damaged ribs began to give way under the heavy weight. The unknown assailant leaned over until the blood from his nose dripped onto Ezra's face. The Southerner moved his head away but a meaty fist grabbed his chin and forced his head back to it's original position. The man leered at him.

"Your friend is going to die first Standish, then you. He may have seen my face before his head hit my windscreen. You should have seen the blood that was splattered all over the window, pity it wasn't his stupid brains. Maybe he didn't have any, I mean he did try to save your worthless hide."

Ezra stared into the cold blue eyes as the words hit home. There was something familiar about them and as long as there was familiarity he would eventually remember the face and name that went with those eyes. Everything went black as the fist began to hit him again and again.

He stood in the middle of the abandoned warehouse. Dust covered the floors and his shoes. He silently hoped he was going to able to save them, the shoes hadn't been cheap for the ATF to buy. Everything he wore was supplied by the ATF, he wasn't willing to use his own clothes. Blood was a very hard stain to get rid of.

Four men surrounded him, but he wasn't too concerned because his associates were listening to his every word. As soon as he gave the signal, or they knew something was wrong they would storm the building arresting anyone that was involved in the criminal activity of selling guns, including himself.

He'd been working this case for nearly a month and everything was going to plan. It was now down to the last minutes, everything that he had done had come to this. Ten minutes from now the case will be over, the arrests made and once he was released, he would be on his way to the local bar with his friends with the intention of getting drunk.

That was until the woman showed up. Then everything went to hell and stayed there. He saw her first out of the corner of his eye. How the hell did she get in here? The young figure was dressed in rags and carrying a bag that held her only possessions. She was obviously homeless and looking for somewhere to stay. He hoped that she was able to disappear before anyone else saw her but the hope was shattered when the man standing next to him saw her.

"Shit." were the only words that the man spoke before the gun appeared in his hand.

He wasn't going to allow him to kill an innocent woman, even if it cost him his own life. "Get out of here now!" he screamed at the top of his lungs.

The woman froze and her large brown eyes stared back at him. She didn't seem to see the gun that was being aimed at her. The girl that still had her whole life in front her wasn't moving.

He grabbed the raised gun arm and turned it towards the bodyguard. He was only able to manage this because he had the element of surprise. The gun went off and the man fell to the ground in a bloody heap. A fist hit the side of his head and he fell to the ground. Feet began to kick him and he felt his ribs crack under the blows. He forced his eyes open when he heard a gunshot. He hoped that it was Chris and the others. It wasn't. The girl lay against the wall, the blood slowly flowing from the chest wound. Her lifeless eyes stared back at him. He should have been able to save her. Another boot to the head sent him into oblivion.

Ezra rolled over onto his left side as the dream began to fade away. He’d had the same dream every night since it happened. He tried to sit up but the dizziness he felt caused him to fall back down to the floor. The pain brought back the reality of what had happened. He rolled gingerly back onto his side and searched the darkness for the man who had tried to kill him but had only succeeded in injuring Chris so badly. He was alone. If he had allowed one of the others to bring him home then the culprit would be in jail by now, or his associate would be on his way to the hospital or morgue. No, he couldn't involve the others in helping him, they had to stay with Chris. He was going to need protection.

He crawled to the phone and dialled in Vin's mobile number. Ezra wiped some of the blood off his face with the sleeve of the shirt he was wearing. It was only a matter of seconds before the mobile was answered.

"Vin, it's Ezra." he was surprised by the sound of his own voice. It was husky, he wasn’t surprised, speaking caused him to feel the pain that was growing within his throat. Blood and bile rose into his mouth and he had to swallow.

"Ezra, you okay, you don't sound to good." Vin was concerned, Ezra could hear it in his voice.

"I'm not the problem." Ezra informed him. "Someone's trying to kill Chris."

"What are you talking about Ezra. Why would someone want to kill Chris?"

Ezra heard the other voices asking Vin what was he talking about. "I don't want to go into now Vin, I don't have time. You have to trust me on this. You have to stay with Chris and protect him."

"You know we will Ezra. What about you? How did you know someone wants him dead?"

It was hard to hear the question over the background noise, someone was even trying to take the phone from Vin. "Let's just say that I got a personal message in regards to Chris' life."

"When?"

"A few minutes ago." Ezra wasn’t sure how long he’d been out for.

"I'll send someone over . . . "

Ezra didn't let him finish. He hung up the phone and struggled to get up. His hands grabbed the arm of the lounge chair to stop him from falling over. He didn’t feel very well at all. It was a few minutes before he was confident enough to let go and move towards the bathroom. He had to clean himself up, change then leave before someone else arrived. He was going to find the man who did this. He just had to remember who he was first.

"Ezra says that someone is trying to kill Chris." Vin informed them. "We're going to have to stay close to him, meanwhile I want someone to go and check up on Ezra."

"Why didn't he tell us this before!?" Buck growled at the phone then lifted his eyes to take in Vin's concerned expression.

"Seems he only just found out, someone paid him a personal visit to inform him of the situation."

"Why?" Buck stood up from his seated position and moved towards the group of men.

"I'm sure we're going to find out." Josiah turned and moved towards the door. "I'll go and check on Ezra."

"Bring Ezra back with you Josiah." Nathan ordered him.

“I was planning on it Nathan." Josiah nodded and left the ICU cubicle. He knew Chris was in good hands but what about Ezra. He was on his own out there and he needed help. If the person had approached him once, he may do it again. And what if he realised that he couldn't get to Chris, would he use Ezra to help him complete what he had started. The hit and run obviously wasn't an accident. It had been intentional, the reason for it was Chris' death. The attempt had failed, the person would try again.

The darkness faded and the light began to invade his mind again. He was becoming aware of the voices around him. They weren't talking to him but they were talking about him. What was going on? He had to wake up so he could tell them about Ezra, they needed to help Ezra. The Southerner's life had been ruined by what had happened in the last case but he had ripped it open and jumped on it. His job was the only thing that Ezra had left, it was his job that was keeping him from breaking and he had taken it away from him.

He forced himself to go further into the brightness of the room. He blinked then forced his eyes to open. The eyes searched the room and rested on Josiah, he was leaving. He saw everyone but Ezra. Where was Ezra? He had to find out.

"Ezra?" Chris' voice was barely a whisper but it was loud enough for the others to hear.

"Hey Chris. How're you feeling?" Vin moved back to the chair that had been placed closer to the bed that Chris lay in.

"Where's Ezra?" Chris growled but his voice didn't hold it's usual threatening tone.

"He's gone home for some rest. Don't worry about him Chris, he's doing okay." Vin assured him.

"I want . . . him here." if his voice wasn't going to work for him then he would use his eyes. It mustn't have worked because Vin didn't flinch back from him. Just great.

"Josiah's gone to check on him."

"I don't give . . . a shit what Josiah's . . . doing . . . Get . . . Ezra!" Chris could feel the little strength he had leaving him already. Speaking can do that to a sick or injured person.

"What's goin' on Chris?" Vin became serious.

"Ezra needs . . . help, wasn't an . . . accident, trying to . . . kill Ezra . . . help him Vin." Chris muttered. "Gotta help him." he told them, he'd done his best. Now he was going to rest and let them do their job. "Get him . . . back here . . . now!

"I'll go." Buck told him. "You call Josiah and let him know what's going on."

"Sure." Vin didn't know what the hell was going on. Ezra had said that Chris was the intended victim, now Chris was saying that the car that had hit him was trying to kill Ezra. What the doctor had said now made more sense. Maybe he was afraid that Chris had seen something. And if it was Ezra did the undercover agent know? Probably not. He wouldn't have gone home if he did. But someone had gone to Ezra to inform him of Chris’ impending death. If Ezra was the true victim why hadn’t they killed him, the opportunity was there. Too many questions that were unanswered. Vin was going to find out what was going on when Josiah and Buck returned with Ezra.

Josiah knocked on the door of Ezra's apartment, he hadn't even considered the fact they Ezra may have phoned him from another location. He waited then knocked again. There was no answer, Ezra was probably sleeping, which was a good thing. The Southerner needed it, life hadn't been good to Ezra lately. He bent down and removed the spare key from underneath heavy green frog that sat in the garden. Ezra thought that only Chris knew about this key, he was wrong, they all knew about it. He opened the door and allowed himself in, Ezra wouldn't mind the intrusion. The hallway was in darkness, he turned the light switch to the on position then frowned in concern. Ezra wouldn't leave all the lights off, he never did. They had taken turns to stay with him after the last undercover operation and Ezra had insisted that at least one light stayed on, whether it be the hall, living room or kitchen light. He entered the living room and after turning the light on he discovered the splatters of blood on the beige carpet. Josiah rushed into the bedroom, the light revealed an empty bed and a set of bloodied clothes on the floor. The same clothes that he had brought to the hospital for Ezra to change into.

"Ezra!" There was no answer, only silence.

He searched the bathroom first and groaned at the sight before him. The sink was covered with blood soaked cloths. An empty antiseptic bottle lay on it's side on the basin. Torn packages that once held bandages covered the tiled floor. Something had happened to Ezra, the visit hadn't just been verbal. A physical confrontation had taken place and Ezra had been hurt. And there was no way for him to find out how badly Ezra had been hurt. A noise alerted him to an intruder, or was it Ezra. Josiah didn't use his voice to find out, he would follow procedure until he knew who it was. He stepped out of the bathroom and drew his revolver.

"Josiah? Ezra?"

"Buck, that you?" Josiah left the bedroom and saw someone kneeling on the floor. It was Buck, he was examining the fresh blood stains. "Ezra's not here, there's plenty of blood in the bathroom as well."

"Shit!" Buck stood up and faced Josiah, the worry was etched into his features. "Chris woke up again, he said that the car was aiming for Ezra, not him, that someone was trying to kill Ezra."

"But Ezra said it was Chris."

"Ezra didn't say anything about the car though did he. Maybe the guy who did it thinks Chris can ID him." Buck began to walk quickly to the exit with Josiah right behind him. "Chris ain't going to like this."

"We can check a few places, see if we can find him."

"What if the person responsible for all of this has him, we might never find him." Buck growled as he closed and locked the door behind him.

"He hasn't. Ezra phoned us after it happened."

"Then why isn't he here?"

"I don't know Buck but we'll find him." Josiah assured him. They had to find him, there wasn't any other choice.

Chris slept restlessly through most of the night. Vin was there to calm him but his attempts weren't enough. A sedative was then used to do what a close friend couldn't do. It helped Chris to sleep more peacefully during the last few hours of the night. The men that stayed with him did not look forward to telling him the bad news; Ezra had disappeared. Josiah and Buck had spent hours searching for him without any luck. Nathan and JD had then tried a few places that the two older men hadn't checked. They also came back empty handed. They had continued to phone Ezra's mobile every thirty minutes. Each time they were told that it had been turned off.

Vin had become angry during the night. Why hadn't Ezra told them what had really happened. Josiah had argued that Ezra may not have known. Vin kept his response to himself, he thought that Ezra had looked guilty, as though he knew something but was refusing to tell them. If the person responsible for this didn't have the undercover agent it meant that he was trying to solve the problem on his own. He either didn't want or didn't expect any help from his friends. But he was also worried about the undercover agent, they all were.

The morning sun came up slowly, it felt as though the day didn't want to begin, it was an eerie feeling that filled the room. The light filtered across the bed, leaving the sleeping form's face in the shadows. Chris looked peaceful, it was a change to the restlessness that covered his physical features through most of the night. The calm look didn't last long, a grimace caused Vin to rush to Chris' side. Pain now covered the handsome countenance. Vin felt the anger fill him once more. He wanted the person who did this, the man who was now threatening his friend's life. He felt helpless, there was nothing they could do now but protect him.

Pain filled blue eyes opened to the new dawn's light. They were confused until the orbs focused on Vin Tanner. Chris smiled lightly the then pain took over. His shifted his body and the pain flared through his hip and side. He realised that it was going to be a while before he was able to get out of this damn hospital bed. He turned his head and searched the room for the person that needed more help than he did. Ezra wasn't there. Before he could ask his question someone held a cup of water to his lips. He took a few needful sips then found he was thirsty enough to drink the cups entire contents.

"Where's Ezra?" A headache was already pounding within his skull. It felt like it had been cracked open, he lifted a hand to find that his head was intact. It hurt like hell but it was all there. he wondered if that was a good thing.

"Mornin' to you too Chris." Vin told him with a hint of anger. He knew he shouldn't be showing the anger he was feeling but Chris only seemed to be concerned for Ezra and not himself. He hadn't even asked about himself, wasn't he curious about his own injuries.

Chris wasn't impressed with the answer he received. "Where's Ezra?"

"We can't find him." Josiah told him.

He wished he had better news but they hadn't been able to find their lost friend. Josiah knew he wasn't physically lost, Ezra was hiding from them. Why? He didn't know. But he did know that Ezra was lost emotionally, he thought he was able to do it on his own, to sort out his problems but the Southerner had failed miserably. He had gotten worse as each day had passed. Cutting himself off from his friends, the people who had been and still were worried about him. They couldn't get to him, he wouldn't allow it. Josiah was now afraid that it had gotten to the point where Ezra wasn't going to be able to find his way back to them.

"Excuse me?" Chris ignored the pain he was feeling. He wasn't concerned about his own health, he was alive, he would heal. His physical condition wasn't important to him right now. Ezra was. The injuries that he suffered would be dealt with later. As an afterthought he wiggled his toes, they worked, he was going to be fine, he was sure of it.

"Try and keep calm Chris, your not going to do yourself any good if you get angry." Vin attempted to stop the argument he somehow knew was going to start.

"What do you . . . mean if? I'm already . . . angry."

"Why?" Vin snapped. "You’re the one that's lying here in a hospital bed. Jesus Chris, you could have died. Don't you even care about that?"

"No I don't!" God that hurt, have to remember not to shout. "All I care about . . . is Ezra, he's in a pile of shit that he . . . can't get out . . . of and I could only make it . . . worse for him. All you can do . . . is sit . . . here and feel sorry for me."

"I do care about him." Vin retorted.

"Sure as hell doesn't look . . . like it to me."

"Chris," Josiah moved closer to the bed, "there's something else."

"What?" Chris couldn't stop the fear from showing in his eyes.

"Ezra phoned to tell us that someone was trying to kill you . . . "

"Why? Ezra . . . I tried to get him out of the . . . way."

"You did Chris, Ezra's fine, was fine, just some scratches and bruises." Buck told him.

"What do you mean . . . ‘was'." Chris now questioned Buck.

Shit! Buck looked away when he realised what he'd done. Chris was going to worry himself even more now. He needed to understand that they could take care of Ezra. What he needed to do, was to rest and get better. Chris was going to have to trust them to take care of things for a change.

"Ezra said that he had been paid a visit, was told that the person who hit you was trying to kill you." Josiah answered for Buck.

"What do you . . . mean 'was' fine?" Chris repeated.

"Chris, you’re talking too much," Nathan warned him, "you have to keep your strength up."

"There was blood on the carpet in the living room and more blood in the bathroom. I think the guy did more than talk to him."

"And . . . you’re all sitting here . . . because?!" Nathan was right, he was getting really tired, the breaths he was taking were becoming shorter and more rapid.

"We looked everywhere Chris. He doesn't want to be found." Buck sat down heavily into one of the chairs. "We don't know where else to look."

"You checked the hospitals?" If he was able to, he would get out of this bed and hit someone.

"We checked all the obvious places and the ones that weren't so obvious. You know Ezra, if he doesn't want us to find him."

"Have to . . . ," he couldn’t do it anymore, he was too tired, he fell asleep before he could finish what he was saying.

"You guys go, I’ll stay here with Chris" Buck ordered them, "there's something I want to talk to him about."

Vin hesitated when it came to leaving. "I’ll stay outside for a while, back you up, just in case."

Buck nodded and sat down in the seat that Vin had vacated. The others had either missed what Chris had said or they didn't want to bring it up. He did. Buck knew his friend, through the pain he could see the guilt that Chris was feeling, there was also fear. No doubt the fear was for Ezra. Something was going on that he didn't know about. It was probably the answer to the entire situation. The answer to why Ezra was in the middle of the road, why he hadn’t seen the car coming.

The answers wouldn’t come from Ezra so they were going to have to come from Chris.

Three hours had passed since the others had left. His phone rang every thirty minutes to inform him that they still hadn’t found Ezra. It had gotten to the point that when he heard the shrill of the mobile that he knew he was only going to receive bad news. Ezra didn’t want to be found, he knew how to lose himself in a crowd, it was his job, they wouldn’t find him if he didn’t want to be found.

"Buck." Chris blinked his eyes open and squinted at the bright light that filled the room. "He here . . . yet?"

"No." Buck pulled his chair closer to the bed. [What happened out there Chris?"

"What?" Chris turned his frown towards Buck and could see that he was in a serious mood."

"What did you do that made things worse for Ezra?"

"What?"

"Earlier you said you could only make it worse for him. What did you do?"

"I don’t remember say . . . "

"Don’t give me any of that shit Chris! You said you made it worse for him, that means you remember what happened before the accident."

"I don’t . . . " Chris grimaced as he tried to remember what happened. "I have a feeling that I did something . . . but I . . . just can’t remember it."

"You have no idea what you did to make things worse for him?"

"No."

"You need to remember Chris, you know Ezra won’t tell us and we can’t help him if we don’t know what you did."

"I know Buck . . . I know."

Buck hung his head and allowed a few seconds of silence to pass.

"What’s the damage Buck?"

"You or Ezra?"

"Both." Chris smiled slightly.

"Doctor should be here later. There was nothing serious. Badly bruised hip that he says you won't be able to use for a while. Nasty head wound, you were in a coma for three days, they don’t know why. Oh, and they took your left kidney."

"Who gave . . . them permission to do that?"

"Well, they don't really need permission Chris." Buck smiled at him.

"Just wish someone . . . had asked me first."

"You weren't awake to ask."

"Uh huh." Chris wasn’t impressed. A kidney. "I’m going to be okay though?"

"Yeah, Doc said you’ll fine. The kidney couldn’t be repaired Chris, they had to take it."

"And Ezra?"

"Some abrasions on his forearms and hands, nothing serious, a couple of bruises and . . . Chris . . . he had a split lip. We don’t think he would have gotten that when you tried to get him out of the way."

"You think someone hit him?"

"Did you hit him?"

"Buck, I wouldn’t be surprised if I did, but I don’t remember."

Buck nodded. It wouldn’t surprise him either. "Did you argue?"

"I don’t know Buck!"

"Okay."

"What about the car and driver?"

"Nothing. Ezra didn't see anything." Buck informed him. "All he saw was you. Shock Nathan said. He didn't do to well afterwards. Nathan had to get the doctor to give him a sedative just so they could look him over. Didn't want to come near us or you for that matter. He’s pretty angry about something."

"You know what?"

"No."

This time Chris nodded. "We need to find him Buck."

"Chris . . . how come you can remember that the car was aiming for Ezra and not what happened before that."

"Don’t know."

"Think maybe you don’t want to remember it?"

"Why wouldn’t I want to remember. You don’t think I did something that I’m going to regret do you Buck."

"Did you notice that you said all of that without pausing."

"I did?"

"Yeah and I sure as hell hope you didn’t do anything stupid to Ezra, you’re not going to be too popular if you did."

"Tell me about it."

Ezra sat in the darkened corner of the bar, the place was unfamiliar to him but he needed somewhere quiet to think. A place where his former associates would not look for him. He had spent the last four hours drinking and thinking. He knew he should be trying to remember who the man was but instead he couldn’t stop thinking about Chris. The thoughts that filled his head cause his anger to grow and was still growing, that anger was now being aimed towards at Chris Larabee. While he was unaware of Chris’ condition and if he was going to be okay, he took all the blame himself. Now that he knew Chris was going to be fine, the anger changed direction. This was Chris’ fault. If the man hadn’t kept pushing him, hadn’t gone jogging with him. They all pushed him, every single one of them. He’d told them that he could handle his own emotions and he was. If they, if Chris had left him alone, it wouldn’t have happened. Chris wouldn’t be lying in a hospital bed and he wouldn’t have gone through the sudden fear that Chris was dead and feel the agonising guilt that it was his fault. That guilt and fear was now replaced with anger.

Ezra forced the anger aside. He had to think, he needed to remember the voice then put a face and name to it. Chris wasn't safe until the man was found, and when he did find him, he was a dead man.

He took another drink, it was only a diet soda, he couldn't afford to get drunk, not now, but later he would. Certainly later. He grimaced and touched his bruised jaw. At first he had thought that it had been broken, then dislocated but then realised that it was only badly bruised. There was a ringing in his left ear that made it difficult to concentrate. The man had hit him hard but not hard enough to do serious damage. The thought rang a bell, he concentrated on it but it disappeared from his grasp. Maybe he should take the risk and go to the office. They might not look there at two am but then again they would be least likely to look for him there at two pm. They may not expect him to go there during the day. He had to try it.

Ezra didn't think he had a choice about the office and now he thought about it he didn't really have any choices. If he wanted to find out who was doing this he would have to check his files. He was going to have to take the risk. His memory wasn't doing the job it was usually capable of doing. When he wasn't at his best he felt useless and now was one of those times. Pity was something he couldn't afford right now, somebody else's life was in his hands.

After paying the small account, Ezra left the bar. The man that followed him wasn't noticed. Ezra hailed a taxi, the first three passed him. He wasn't surprised, he must look a mess. Bruises marked his face, his lip was split and swollen, making speech difficult, another bruise made it's way around his neck, this made it painful to swallow. At least the clothes he wore were neat, even if it was only a pair of jeans and a sweater. The pain filled body that was his, hadn't been able to get warm since he witnessed Chris Larabee dying.

Ezra got into the fourth taxi. He gave the driver the address and they pulled away from the curb. Green eyes kept looking back, the fear that he was being followed was evident in those intense eyes. Five blocks later and two away from the ATF building, Ezra noticed that he was being followed. It wasn't a car that he recognised. The man behind the wheel wasn't one of his associates, it was probably the man that was causing all of this mess. The undercover agent thought about stopping the cab and going after him, he didn't. The man he wanted wasn't that stupid, he would only turn a corner or speed up and pass him.

The taxi stopped out front of the ATF building. Ezra paid him off then made his way to the garage beneath the building. He needed to see if any familiar cars were parked there. At the moment there wasn't. He walked to the elevator and rode it to the seventh floor. The most recent files would be checked first, if nothing was found he would head to the records room on the second floor.

Buck's mind drifted between the man sleeping in the bed and the man that was in a hell of a lot of trouble, both emotionally and physically. Chris had backup; five men to be exact. Ezra had no-one. If he got into trouble he would be on his own. Then again how often had Ezra have to deal with such things on his own. All his life as far as Buck knew. They had tried to bring him into the group and had finally begun to succeed, he learnt to trust them with his life but not his emotions. It was something they hadn't been able to change. And now he was on his own again, unwilling to trust them to help him. Why? He didn’t know. But he did know that it went further back than his days with the FBI.

The form in the bed stirred. Chris had slept most of the morning. Buck wished he would continue to sleep, the doctor was due any minute now and Chris would no doubt give him hell. They had to take his kidney, they had no choice; try convincing Chris of that. Buck smiled, his friend was a stubborn bastard but like Ezra, he wouldn't have him any other way.

"Buck?" Chris blinked his eyes and focused on the man sitting next to him. "You find him yet?"

"No, they're still looking." Buck bowed his head.

"How hard can it be." Chris wanted to get angry but he was too tired. He'd had enough anger to almost be his normal self, but not now. Too tired and too sore. Everything hurt. His head, his side, and his hip.

"They're doin' the best they can Chris. Ezra knows what his doin', he knows how to hide."

"How come he’s never understood that we only want to help him?"

"Maybe it’s the way we go about it." Buck suggested.

"We tried everything Buck, nothing seems to work with him."

"Well there's nothing you can do about it Chris, you'll just have to make him see sense when we find him." Buck assured him.

Chris' head turned to the sound of the door opening, he grimaced and growled at the man in the white coat. This was all he needed. Some stupid ass that was going to tell him how he was feeling, like he would know. Idiot.

"Mr Larabee, so nice to see you finally awake." the doctor smiled at him and moved forward.

"I've been awake plenty of times, you just haven't been here." Chris snarled.

"I've been busy." he raised his eyebrows then lowered them when he saw how well the man in the bed did it. This was going to be a challenge, but then again, he always won these type of confrontations.

"Jerking off?" Chris asked.

"Chris!" Buck growled at him.

"Are you the one that took my kidney?"

"No, that was Doctor Haroldson, he . . . "

"When can I get out of here?" Chris was fully awake now, he wasn't in the mood for any shit, not from anyone.

"It would be at least another five days . . . "

"Give me another offer."

"Chris." Buck warned him again.

"You had a kidney removed Mr Larabee, you have severe bruising on your left hip which was also dislocated. Your going to need physiotherapy . . . "

"When does that start?"

"Mr Larabee, are you going to allow me to finish a sentence?"

"No, now answer mine."

"Day after tomorrow." there he did finish a sentence, it was a short one but he still managed to finish it.

"I want out of here as soon as I can get out."

The doctor didn't know if it was a threat or a demand. Either way he didn't like it.

"Are you feeling okay Mr Larabee, perhaps you need a sedative, your colour isn't looking too good," so far so good, the man on the bed was looking at him with confusion. And he wasn't interrupting him, "maybe it's best if we keep you in for a week instead of five days."

"Don't pull that shit with me, I'll leave as soon as I can walk and you better hope that your not in my path when I do!"

Okay, that didn't go the way he had planned. It had worked with other patients. Why not this one? Shit! Why in the hell did he become a doctor anyway. He had wanted to help people but some people just didn't want help. Some people were just plain stupid, and this man was one of them.

"If that's what you want Mr Larabee, then you do that. But if your hip falls out of it's socket then you'll be back in here for a longer period and that's not pulling any shit with you. The hip has to stay immobilised for a few days then gradually worked so the muscles don't become weak. You have to do as your told or the hip will be in serious trouble."

Chris looked away, damn it, he wished he could stand up, if he could do that then he could walk out of here; after hitting the doctor of course. The one that hadn't even bothered to introduce himself. Bastard, they all were. Now he knew why Ezra hated them so much.

"He'll do as his told." Buck stood up and stepped between the doctor and Chris' chart that was hanging on the end of the bed. "Why don't you come back later and do that, he'll be in a better mood then.

"You think so?"

"Yeah I think so." Buck nodded and pushed the man towards the door.

"Asshole." Chris muttered.

"You or him?" Buck asked him seriously.

"I just want out of here Buck."

"The more you fight them and your body, the longer you'll be here." Buck sat back down in the chair. "It's as simple as that Chris."

"Asshole." this time the slight curse was aimed at his know-it-all friend.

Ezra threw the last folder down in frustration. Nothing, there was nothing that told him who the stranger was. He was now going to have to spend endless hours on the computer, searching for what he knew wasn't going to be there.

"Thought you'd be here." Josiah leaned against the door frame and smiled at the Southerner that was leaning over his desk.

"Shit!" Ezra cried out in surprise. Unable to control his reaction, his body jerked up in surprise and he fell to the floor instead of back into his chair.

Ezra stayed where he was. Not only because of the pain but in the hope that if the owner of the voice didn't see him, that he might just go away and leave him alone. It didn't happen. How could Josiah not see him.

"You going to stay there all day Ezra." Josiah stepped into the room.

He held his breath and closed his eyes. Go away Josiah! He could feel him close by, so close that if he reached out he would be able to touch him. Ezra opened his eyes and saw the boots that covered the overly large feet. Aw hell. How did they find him? They didn't think like he did. Maybe they had gotten to know him more than he should have allowed.

"I'm going to stay here if you don't mind." he nodded without looking up.

"Can't do that Ezra, Chris wants to see you." Josiah was shocked by the appearance of Ezra's face when it shot up to look at him.

"Why?" he forgot that he didn't want these men to find him, forgot who he was searching for.

"Didn't say but he was pretty adamant that we find you and bring you back."

"Does he want to hit me again." the words were muttered and not clearly heard by the ex-preacher.

"Come on Ezra, we won't find out staying here." Josiah leaned forward and grabbed the right arm that was tucked towards the stomach.

Ezra pulled it out of his grip. "I'm not going anywhere. There's something I have to do."

"Your not going to try and find the man that attempted to kill you on your own Ezra. We'll see what Chris wants and then we'll start looking."

Kill me? These men were full of surprises. "I'm still not going, you don't know what happened on that road."

"Did something happen that we don’t know about?"

"No."

"Maybe you should tell me what it was."

"Nothing happened and I’m not going with you."

"Your coming Ezra, even if I have to knock you out then carry you there." Josiah growled and grabbed the arm again, this time more roughly. He felt Ezra try to get away from him so he tightened his grip. The sneaky little bastard wasn't going to get away from him. He wasn't going to face Chris' anger.

Ezra fought against the big man, but the pain and exhaustion that he felt made it difficult. The thought of seeing Chris made him fight harder but his left arm was grabbed violently and his body was pulled to face Josiah.

"If I wasn’t so tired and sore right now Josiah, I would beat the crap out of you. Let me go!"

"Listen you little shit!" Josiah growled into his face. "There are people who care about you, including me, I don't know why because you don't appreciate it, or deserve it right now. We'd do anything for you Ezra, anything and it's about time you realise that. You can talk to us, we won't think any different of you." he let go and but his eyes held the tormented green eyes in a locked stare. "Stop being such a selfish bastard and do something for us for a change!"

"Do something for you.” Ezra laughed then turned serious. “Do you know what he did to me?" Ezra growled up at Josiah.

"Chris?"

"Yeah Chris, the almighty asshole, who thinks he can control anyone’s life. He went too far this time, it’s his own fault that he’s lying in that hospital bed, not mine. He’s the selfish bastard, all he wants, is to be in control of my emotions and when he isn’t, he takes it out on me!"

"What the hell are you talking about Ezra?" Josiah decided to ask him before he hit him for talking that way about Chris.

"He hit me, pushed me against a wall and hit me. That’s where these came from." he pointed to his lip then the small bandage on his forehead. "Then he fired me. Did you understand that Josiah, he FIRED me. I don’t work here anymore. I’m no longer one of you, not that I ever was . . ."

"Ezra . . . "

"You want to know how I ended up in the middle of the road? DO YOU?" Ezra yelled into Josiah’s face. "He grabbed me and threw me onto it, I have the bruises to prove it. He doesn’t care, if he did, he wouldn’t have done that to me. I know I’ve been a bastard about what happened but I can’t talk about how I feel, he should understand that, all of you should. Why don’t any of you understand that?" where the hell did that come from. The mouth that allowed those words to escape closed, his teeth bit into the lower lip to prevent it from happening again.

"Shit Ezra, I didn’t know."

"No, none of you ever do." Ezra realised that Josiah had released him so he began to walk away. He didn’t get far. Josiah had grabbed his arm a third time.

"You’re still coming with me Ezra."

"I’m not going anywhere with you."

"Yes you are." Josiah began to drag Ezra towards the elevator. it wasn’t going to be easy but he was going to get him to Chris’ hospital room and then he was going to have a few words with Chris.

Chris tried to shift himself into a better position. He lifted his hips and moved them more to the left, then right, then back again while muttering obscene curses. He stopped to think about it then moved them to the right and allowed them to fall back onto the bed. It wasn't so bad, the pain kept his mind alert. His shoulders were next. His upper body moved towards the ceiling and to the right. He cursed again. He may have moved but he ended up in the same position. This wasn't good. He was better than this. He ran one of the top ATF teams in the country. He should be able to get himself into a better position. Maybe his side. One of them didn't hurt. Chris took his time as he forced his aching body over, it was slow going and the man who was supposed to be his friend made no attempt to help him. The hips had to be lifted again but this time the pain wasn't so bad because the injured hip wasn't taking any weight. Chris sighed in gratitude when he finally lay down on his right side. Lord that felt good.

"Better?" Buck had fought not to laugh at his friend as he tried to move his body around in the bed. He wanted to help but knew that his friend would only lash out at him; physically that was. Buck knew he was going to get plenty of abuse later because no doubt he would be the one allocated to take care of Chris. Not Vin who was also a close friend. Not Ezra, who was the one on the road on the first place; not that it was the Southerner's fault. And not Nathan, mainly because he wasn't that stupid.

"No thanks to you." Chris smiled at him.

"And what would you have done if I tried to help?"

"I would have allowed you to help."

"Liar."

"I'm still your boss Buck." Chris warned him.

"You’re a son-of-a-bitch, that’s what you are."

"My mother was a saint." Chris shot back.

"And my mother was a whore." Buck retorted.

"I thought we were talking about my heritage."

"Oh yeah, I called you the SOB didn't I." Buck laughed.

The door opened and Chris was about to tell the doctor to go to hell and back but shut his mouth when Josiah poked his head around the door. A question was placed on his handsome features and Josiah nodded back.

"Take it easy on him Chris." Josiah warned. "Hurt him again and you’ll have me to answer to. I don’t care if you’re my boss, do it again and you’ll be the one that gets hurt."

"What did I do?"

"You don’t remember?"

"No."

"Let me put it this way then Chris, Ezra is a bit angry, well actually, he’s pretty pissed of at you. Just be careful.” Josiah opened the door further but the man with him wouldn't come easily. "Just a minute." he disappeared behind the door again.

A few heated words were spoken then Ezra came through the opening in a violent manner. The smaller man quickly stepped back from Chris' stare but a large hand gripped the back of his neck and pushed him forward towards the bed. Ezra pushed back with his feet.

"Ezra! What the hell is the matter with you." Chris asked him.

"Excuse me?” Ezra growled at Chris.

"Sit down Ezra, you don’t look too good."

"No, I don’t intend to stay here."

"It was an order Ezra."

"I don't work for you anymore Mr Larabee." Ezra replied. "Ow! What the hell did you do that for?" he grabbed the back of his head and glared over his shoulder at Josiah.

Josiah shrugged, he'd slapped him across the head. "Thought you deserved it, especially after what I told you back at the office."

"Do it again Josiah and I’ll hit you back, I swear to God. It’s not as though my head doesn’t hurt enough as it is!"

Josiah managed to keep the guilt off his features, he hadn't thought about that. "Sit down Ezra." the larger man didn’t wait for an answer, he forced Ezra towards one of the chairs and pushed him down into it. He then stood over him to stop him from attempting to escape.

"What do you mean you don’t work for me anymore?" Chris asked him.

"You fired me." Ezra stood up only to be pushed down again. "You fucking bastard, you fired me. You took away the only thing I had in this pathetic life and now I have nothing."

"You have friends Ezra." Josiah looked down at him.

"Yeah and what wonderful friends I have." the sarcasm dripped from his voice.

"Ezra," Buck moved closer to Ezra, "what are you talking about?"

"Why don’t you ask your friend, he’s the one that’s responsible for all of this."

"Chris doesn’t remember so why don’t you tell me."

"Now that’s handy, you do that so they would take your side. I don’t think you have to worry about that."

"Damn it Ezra!" Buck pushed Josiah to the side and grabbed Ezra by his jumper and pulled him to his feet. "Tell me what the hell happened."

"And if I don’t, are you going to hit me as well."

"What?"

Ezra pushed Buck away in disgust and fell back into the chair. He had enough of talking. He really wasn’t feeling very well.

“Chris hit him, fired him and threw him onto the road,” Josiah explained,”and Ezra isn’t too happy about it.”

“You did all that?” Buck asked Chris.

“I don’t remember doing that.” Chris was watching Ezra but the Southerner was refusing to look at him.

“Now isn’t that convenient for you!”

“Shut up Ezra.” Buck warned him.

“I’m leaving . . . “ Ezra knew Josiah would try and stop him but he was ready for him. He pushed as he stood up and used his shoulder to move Josiah away from him. But that was all his body was capable of doing. He was struck by a sudden bout of nausea and a feeling of dizziness that threatened to consume him. Ezra felt someone grab his arm and he was pulled around in a half circle then everything went black.

Josiah quickly reached out and grabbed Ezra, he spun him around and looked into green eyes that quickly disappeared as they rolled back into their sockets.

“Shit.” Josiah changed his position so he could take Ezra’s weight before he hit the floor. “Buck.”

“I’m going.” Buck took one look at the unconscious Southerner and ran out of the room in search of a doctor.

Josiah lowered Ezra to the floor, he felt something soft hit his back and turned to find that Chris had thrown a pillow at him. He carefully lifted Ezra’s head and placed the pillow under him. Once he’d done that, he loosened Ezra’s trousers then rolled him onto his side. All he could do now was wait.

The door burst open. Buck ran back in and was followed by a doctor in scrubs and a male nurse. The doctor knelt down beside the man on the floor and began to examine him.

“What happened?”

“He hasn’t eaten much or slept much in the last few days and he got beaten up this morning.” Josiah answered.

“That all?”

“As far as I know.”

“Jack, go get a gurney.” the doctor waited until the nurse left the room. “We’ll take him down to emergency and check him out. If he’s okay physically then well put him a room for the night, put him on a drip and give him something that’ll help him sleep.”

“And if he’s not okay physically?”

“Then he might need to stay for a few days.”

“Jesus, I could have told you that!” Buck rolled his eyes.

“Can you put him in here with me?” Chris asked.

“This is ICU, he can’t stay here.”

“Then move me to his room.”

“That’s up to your doctor, not me.”

“Then I want to see my doctor.” Chris demanded.

"Ezra . . . Ezra, wake up . . . come on Ezra, it’s just a dream." Josiah shook Ezra’s shoulder a little harder. "You’re having a dream Ezra, it’s not real . . . Ezra!"

Ezra jerked upwards and lashed out at anything. His fist struck Josiah’s cheek, causing him to step back away from the bed. Shit! The larger man quickly moved back and grabbed Ezra’s arms and pulled them back down onto the bed.

"Ezra!"

Eyelids opened to reveal the confusion that Ezra was feeling. "Wha . . . ?"

"You were dreaming." Josiah explained.

"I was dreaming . . . " Ezra blinked a few times then focused on Josiah’s face.

"Yeah."

"What was I dreaming about?" Ezra knew he was dreaming about Susan Summers but he didn’t know if he gave anything away.

"The young lady that died." Josiah watched as all the muscles in the Southerner’s face fell, the confusion was suddenly replaced with guilt and a little fear.

"Want to talk about it?"

Ezra glanced down and saw that Josiah was holding his arms, he looked back up into the larger man’s eyes. "Do you mind." When the strong grip was removed he looked around the room. "What the hell am I doing in a hospital bed and who is that?"

Josiah looked over his shoulder at the occupant of the other bed in the private room. "You’re here because you’re sick . . . "

"I’m not sick, I just hurt all over." Ezra growled.

"Doctor said you were dehydrated and malnourished. When was the last time you had a decent meal Ezra?" he didn’t receive an answer, only a look that told him to drop the subject. "You also got a fever that they want to keep an eye on. And that person is Chris."

"I’m in ICU? I’m not that sick am I?"

"No, Chris demanded that he be put in the same room as you, his doctor said tomorrow but you know Chris." Josiah shrugged.

"Yeah I know him, he gets whatever he wants." Ezra fell back against the pillows and gritted his teeth against the pain.

"You also have some badly bruised ribs. Surprised you didn’t notice that yourself."

"How long do I have to stay here?"

"Couple of days, doc said it depends on the fever, it’s pretty high."

Ezra pressed a palm against his forehead and felt the heat there. He was sick and he hadn’t even known it. No wonder everyone was able to beat the crap out of him lately.

"Is there a guard outside of that door?"

"No."

Ezra raised his eyebrows in surprise. "You mean if I tried to leave, no one would stop me?"

"Of course we’ll stop you. That guy is after you Ezra, you think we’re going to let you go out there on you’re own. You’re part of the family now Ezra, we have no intention of letting anything happen to you."

"Then where were you when Chris did this to me." Ezra pointed to his lip.

"Chris shouldn’t have done what he did. That was a bad mistake on his part." Josiah agreed with Ezra’s anger toward Chris. "Was he trying to get you to talk about it?"

"Yeah."

"He pushed just a little to hard?"

"More than a little Josiah."

"Ezra, how come you didn’t see the car?"

"I did see it." Ezra let the words sink in. Sometimes he really hated Josiah Sanchez, the man had a way of getting things out of him without even trying.

"Then how come you didn’t . . . aw hell Ezra, what were you thinking?"

"I just lost my job Josiah, my job is my life, I don’t have anything else, and I can’t cope with this guilt."

"And I told you that you had friends, if you let us we can help you deal with the guilt that you shouldn’t be feeling."

"Friends I some times wonder if I actually want."

"What the hell do you mean by that Ezra?"

"You push me, you all push me too hard, you expect too much and sometimes I end up thinking if the friendship is worth it."

"A good friendship is always worth it."

"This is a good friendship?"

"Yes."

"I’d hate to know what a bad one is like."

The door burst open before Josiah could say anything. The four remaining members of the team came crashing through the door carrying pizzas and cold soft drinks. They all first looked at Chris who was sleeping on his good side then at Ezra.

"Looking better than you did yesterday Ezra." Buck smiled at him and offered him a diet coke.

"See Ezra, this is friendship." Josiah told him then got up, he moved pass Buck and whispered in his ear. "Don’t push him on anything."

"Yesterday?"

"Doctor gave you something that knocked you out for about . . . oh . . . what was it Vin?"

"About eighteen hours I think." Vin nodded and sat on the end of Ezra’s bed.

The Southerner had to move his feet out of the way because JD also sat on his bed. "I’ve been sleeping for eighteen hours? Why?"

"Doctor said you needed it." Buck threw a pizza onto Ezra’s lap. "Thought you might be hungry."

"You thought wrong Buck." Ezra pushed the pizza box away. "I’m not hungry."

"If you eat, they’ll take that drip off." Josiah pointed to the needle that was in Ezra’s hand. The area around the strap that held it in was bruised.

"I don’t need them to take it off."

"You going to drink that?" Vin nodded towards the soda.

"I’d prefer something a little bit stronger at the moment." Ezra raised an eyebrow at Vin, in the hope that he had sneaked something in for him.

"Sorry, you’re on antibiotics for your fever, can’t drink when you’re taking those." Vin smiled at him.

"Shit." Ezra muttered.

Vin stole a glance at Josiah while Ezra opened his can of drink. Josiah shrugged. Vin nodded in return then glanced back at Ezra. "So, Ezra, what are we going to do about this guy who tried to run you down?"

"How’d you find out?"

"Chris told us, he must have know that the car was aiming for you."

"How did he know?"

"Don’t know, you’ll have to ask him that yourself." Vin looked over his shoulder at Chris.

"I’m not talking to Chris Larabee." Ezra took a sip of the diet soda to make sure it would stay down, when it did, he took three long swallows.

"What are you? Seven years old?" Vin grunted.

"Did Josiah tell you what he did?"

"Uh . . . yeah . . . he did." Vin looked down at the piece of pizza that Buck had just given him.

"And you’re going to sit there and tell me that you wouldn’t be pissed off at him, if he had done that to you."

"I wouldn’t have been in that predicament in the first place Ezra, I would have talked to him sooner about what happened with Susan Summers."

"Vin . . . " Josiah warned him.

Ezra sat up and threw the can he was holding at Vin, who only just managed to duck out of it’s way. "What the hell would you know about it? You weren’t there, you’re never there, none of you are. I’m always on my own, I have to make the split second decisions, take the risks of getting killed, you don’t. I should have been able to save that girl’s life. She shouldn’t have died like that, she didn’t deserve to!"

"What, and you think that you did. That it should have been you." Vin didn’t lose his temper, it wouldn’t help.

"She shouldn’t have died Vin."

"Neither should you Ezra." Josiah handed him a piece of the pizza. "Here, eat something, it may mean the difference of you getting out a day early."

Ezra reluctantly took the small meal offered to him and began to eat it slowly, he took small bites.

"You haven’t answered my question Ezra. What are we going to do about this guy."

"I don’t know who he is." Ezra shrugged.

"You didn’t recognise him when he was at your place?"

"It was dark, I didn’t get a chance to turn the lights on."

"What about his voice, height, weight, anything like that?" Buck mumbled through a mouth full of pizza.

"His voice was familiar. About six foot one, hundred and eighty pounds. That’s all."

"Have you recognised the voice yet?"

"No, I went through my private files and there wasn’t anything. I was going to go on the computer but Josiah walked in on me."

“JD,” Vin turned to him, “when you’re finished eating, go get your laptop and everything else you need and bring it back here.”

“Sure,” nodded JD, “Ezra, is there anything you want while I’m out.”

“No.” Ezra lay back down and closed his eyes. Eighteen hours and he felt like he hadn’t slept at all.

“Sleep if you need to Ezra,” Josiah told him, “we’ll be here when you wake up.”

“Do you have to be.” Ezra mumbled to himself but the others heard him.

Ezra shifted his shoulders and pushed his head further into the pillow. Exhaustion suddenly filled him and he felt his body getting heavier. He took a deep breath and didn’t realise that he sighed out loud when he let it out. The blankets that someone was tucking in around his shoulders made him feel protected, he wanted to pull them over his head but he couldn’t be bothered to change his position. But someone sensed what he wanted and the top blanket soon covered half of his face. Ezra rolled onto his side and used his shoulder to push the blanket up to completely hide his face from the others. Sleep quickly claimed him.

“Ezra . . . “

“He’s asleep Chris,” Buck informed him, “and you should be too.”

“I don’t want to sleep.” Chris opened his eyes and searched the filtered darkness for his long time friend. “How’s Ezra?”

“Sick, doctor says he should be okay though, they want to keep him here until his fever goes down. It hasn’t yet.”

“He still mad at me?”

“You could say that, he’s not talking to you.”

Chris heard the snicker that Buck couldn’t keep in. “I don’t remember doing any of that . . . what he said I did.”

“Ezra wouldn’t lie about something like that Chris.”

“I didn’t say he did Buck! I said that I don’t remember doing it.”

“It doesn’t matter either way Chris, you’re going to have to do a lot to make up for it. I don’t think he has any intentions of hanging around.”

“Have we got anything on this guy that tried to kill him?”

“No, Ezra’s been through his files, on and off the computer, nothing.”

“What are we going to do then?”

“We?”

“Yes Buck, we.” Chris growled at him. “I’m not going to just lie here and let you guys do all the work.”

“There’s not much you can do.”

“They’re letting me out of this bed tomorrow.” Chris smiled in the darkness.

“Only for physio.”

“If I can walk, I’m outta here.” he pointed to the door knowing that Buck probably wouldn’t see it.

“Get out of here . . .”

“Was that Ezra?” Chris tried to sit up so he could see the southerner.

“Yeah,” Buck stood up and walked to Ezra’s bed, “he’s been having some nightmares, I’d say he’s been having them since it happened.”

“Me or Susan Summers?”

“Nooo . . . “

“Susan Summers.” Buck leant over and whispered in Ezra’s ear. His hand stroked the back of Ezra’s head as he spoke to him. After a few minutes the southerner calmed down and returned to a dream world free of nightmares.

“Shit.”

“Yeah, he’s angry, he’s scared, and he’s feeling a lot of guilt about what happened to her.”

“And all I could was fire him.”

“Yep, you were pretty stupid throwing a stunt like that.”

“Thanks for your support Buck.”

“Don’t expect to get any from me Chris, or anyone else.” Buck moved away from Ezra’s bed and back to the chair. “You were an idiot to do that to him, I don’t care that you don’t remember, it’s what you did at the time. You hit him Chris, and not only that, you literally threw him onto the road. What the hell were you thinking?”

“I don’t know, I was probably angry.”

“You always get angry with him.” Buck decided to turn a light on, he needed to see Chris’ face. “Did you get angry when Adam refused to talk about his problems?”

“That was a low blow Buck.”

“I don’t care, answer my question.”

“No, of course I wouldn’t, I gave him the time he needed, when he was ready, he would come to me and talk about it.”

“Ezra may be an adult Chris, but he’s not use to talking about his problems, I would have thought you’d know that by now. You have to be patient with him, treat him like you would Adam.”

“You want me to treat him as though his was my son?”

“No, I want you to treat him like you would treat Adam when he wouldn’t talk about what was troubling him.”

“Oh.” Chris understood what Buck was telling him. “Is there any pizza left.”

“No, and how do you . . . “

“I can smell it.”

“Oh.”

“You didn’t keep me any?”

“No.”

“Bastard.”

He threw the blankets aside and sat up. His heart was pounding in his chest, the sweat running down his face, chest and back. He used the sheet to wipe himself dry. A voice called his name but it was distant, he couldn’t recognise who was calling him. Sunlight burned into his eyes, causing him to open them. Everything was blurred, objects drifted in and out of each other. There wasn’t any difference to his sight after he rubbed his tired eyes with his hands. How could sleeping so much make you feel so bad, he couldn’t understand it.

“Ezra? You okay?”

It was another few seconds before he recognised the voice. “I’m not talking to you.”

“Just need to know if you’re okay, you need the nurse?”

“No.” Ezra sighed and put his head in his hands.

“You’re sure.” Ezra lifted his head and glared at Chris. “Okay, you’re sure, I’ll leave you alone now. I’m here though if you want to talk.”

“I said I’m not talking to you.” Ezra returned his head to his hands.

Chris silently watched him. He could see the younger man’s shoulders shaking, it must have been a bad one. He wanted to talk to him, tell him that he was sorry for what he’d done, that everything would be okay but he knew Ezra wouldn’t listen to him. His own body jerked when Ezra’s head flew up and his green eyes stared at him.

“Where is everyone?”

“Buck’s the only one here, everyone else went home.” Chris frowned at him.

“Where’s Buck?”

“You want to talk to Buck,” it finally dawned on him, “now hang on a minute Ezra . . . “

Ezra pulled the drip from his hand and stood up. His legs were a bit wobbly but they were going to carry him out of here, he would make sure of that. He began to search the cabinet drawers for his clothes.

“Ezra, you’re not going anywhere, you can’t go. You’re sick . . . that guy’s still out there.” he knew the stubborn bastard wasn’t listening. “Damn it Ezra!” Chris reached for the call button and began to buzz for a nurse.

Ezra found his clothes in the third drawer. He threw them on the bed and removed the hospital clothing. He dressed as quickly as his bruised ribs would allow him to. He ignored Chris’ words, the man didn’t know what he was talking about. The only thing he couldn’t find were his shoes and wallet. Damn. It didn’t matter, he had ways of getting the money he needed. He walked to the door and carefully opened it.

“Ezra!”

Buck wasn’t anywhere in sight. How lucky could he be. Ezra frowned, he couldn’t be lucky, this was only one thing that had gone his way in a while.

“Ezra!”

He allowed the door to close behind him. His eyes searched the floor he was on. The elevator was to his right and the stairwell to his left. He didn’t want to use the elevator in case he ran into Buck. The stairwell was his only choice. A chill was sent up from the tiled floor through his feet and into his stomach. His body shivered in response. Was he cold or scared? Probably both. Ezra made his feet obey the instructions that had been sent to them a few seconds earlier. He needed to reach his only means of escape before Buck showed up. The elevator dinged to a stop causing Ezra to run the last couple of metres to the door. He pulled it open and stepped inside to what he thought was a safe area.

Buck stepped off the elevator to see a nurse running into Chris and Ezra’s room. The vision scared the crap out of him. He’d been stupid enough to allow Chris to talk him into going and getting some breakfast. It would only take you five or ten minutes, nothing could happen during that time, Chris had told him. He shouldn’t have listened. What if the guy who had tried to kill Ezra found them. What if one or both of them were dead. He dropped his breakfast and ran to the room.

“You have to find him now!” Chris was yelling at the nurse.

“Chris!” Buck practically threw the nurse out of the way.

“Ezra, he just left. Go and find him Buck.”

“When did he . . . “

“Now, just a few of minutes ago.”

“I just came off the elevator, so he’s still on the floor.” Buck ran out of the room and searched the floor like Ezra had done. His eyes rested on the stairwell door.

Ezra had only taken one step when he heard a nose behind him. Buck had found him. He turned around ready to give him an explanation and if he didn’t accept it he would hit him then keep going. It wasn’t Buck who had come in to join him.

“You’re not looking too well Standish.”

The face brought instant recognition. “Hello Paul.”

Paul Alkoyed threw his fist and struck Ezra across the jaw. “Glad you finally recognised you’re murderer.”

Ezra fell, he put his hands out to stop himself but they only found air. His side struck the stairs and he began to roll. His first thought was to wrap his arms around his head, the last thing he wanted was to spend more time in this damn hospital. He cried out in pain when his elbow hit the edge of a stair. His fall ended in a matter of seconds when his body slammed against a wall at the bottom of the stairs. Ezra tried to get up but all he could do was fall back down again. He looked upwards to see his attacker coming towards him.

“You’re not as good as you use to be Standish, there was a time when you could beat me.”

“I haven’t been myself lately and you do seem to be attacking me when I’m at my weakest, which I may add is the only time that you could beat me.”

Alkoyed jumped the last couple of steps and slammed his boot into Ezra’s side. He was about to give another violent blow when the door above them opened. “I’ll finish this another time Standish.” Alkoyed quickly left the scene leaving Ezra lying on the floor with his arms holding his stomach and side.

“Ezra!”

“Buck! He’s here.”

“Damn it Ezra.” Buck ran down the stairs and knelt beside Ezra.

“He’s here, down there.” Ezra nodded to the stairs. “Blue denim jacket and jeans, black t-shirt, short brown hair, brown eyes and he has a scar on his left cheek.”

“Got him.” Buck stood up. “You okay till I come back.”

“Yeah.”

He didn’t want to leave him lying there but this was his chance to get the guy that had hurt Ezra and Chris. The man’s image was in his mind and he quickened his step knowing that he wouldn’t be far ahead of him. He stopped and looked over the railing. A flash of blue denim told him that he was right. He pulled his gun, hoping that he would get a chance to use it.

Buck took two steps at a time. His anger was being controlled by deep steady breaths. He had no intention of hurting the guy, he knew Ezra would want to inflict serious bodily harm on the asshole. He saw the back of the man as he swung around to take the next flight of steps. Buck fired his gun in the man’s direction.

“ATF! STOP WHERE YOU ARE!” Buck identified himself then fired a second time.

He was surprised when the man stopped and raised his hands above his head. The man turned around and smiled at him.

“Something wrong Agent . . . ?” Alkoyed innocently asked the agent.

“You’re under arrest for the attempted murder of an ATF agent.” Buck smiled back at him but the man didn’t seemed faze by the accusation.

“I did not such thing Sir. What reason would I have to try and killed an ATF agent.”

The smug expression the man Alkoyed was wearing, was causing Buck to lose control of his anger. He wanted to hit the guy; badly. Instead, he motioned to him with his gun for the man to begin the climb back to the floor Ezra was on.

“Let’s go smartass.”

When they reached the area he had found Ezra, the undercover agent was nowhere to be seen.

Ezra pushed himself up off the floor, he seemed to be spending a lot of time on the floor lately; he wasn’t very impressed about it. He wanted to go after Buck, to give him a hand but he truely didn’t have the strength to do it. Ezra decided that the best thing to do, would be to just go back to bed. The sight of the stairs above him almost made him sit down again but he wanted to sit on the floor a lot less than climbing the small flight of stairs.

One step at a time, that’s all he had to do, he counted them before he started. Six, that was all there was, six. That couldn’t be to hard. The right leg first, then the left. When he reached the third, a gunshot echoed through the stairwell. It was Buck, he was sure it was Buck that had fired. It could only be Buck. He heard Buck’s voice then another shot. It was Buck. He let out the breath he was holding.

Three steps left, two steps, one. He’d done it, no more steps. Now he just had to open the heavy door that kept him from his bed and sleep. God he needed to sleep. He reached out with his right hand and gritted his teeth against the pain that shot through his elbow. His left hand took it’s place and he opened the door. The sight of the room and what seemed to him to be the most comfortable bed in the world caused his step to quicken. Ezra pushed the door open, ignored Chris who had somehow sat up on his own and walked to the bed.

“Ezra?” Chris frowned at him. He could see that the Southerner’s lip was bleeding again, he was also holding his side and favouring his right arm. Hell, not again. “Ezra!”

He didn’t answer, he didn’t want to talk to Chris Larabee, in fact he still wasn’t talking to Chris Larabee, he was going to have to remember that. Ezra looked longingly at the bed then got into without undressing. The pillow was welcomed by the warm flesh of his face. His body sighed as he shifted it into a more comfortable position. The blanket was pulled over his head. As far as Ezra was concerned, nothing else and no one else existed in this world. It was only him, his bed, pillow and blanket.

“Ezra! Talk to me. Tell me what the hell happened out there. Where’s Buck?”

Chris was trying to do what Buck told him, he didn’t want to get angry but he could feel his anger simmering beneath the surface. It was going to blow if he didn’t force himself to calm down. His green eyes stared at the unmoving form under the blankets. That was it, if the man wasn’t going to answer him, or even look at him, then he was going to go to Ezra. That meant he had to get up and walk. Could he do it? Well, he could at least try. It helped knowing that he was doing it for Ezra.

“Ezra,” he may as well try one last time, “if you don’t answer me, I’m coming over there.”

It was a warning that Ezra seemed to be ignoring. Damn Southern bastard’s going to make me go over there. What if he was sleeping? He might not be answering because he was sleeping. But he just woke up. Damn it! Do it anyway. You were the one that wanted to get out of this bed. Do it now!

Okay, this wasn’t going to be so hard, he was already in a sitting position, his side ached with a passion, but he could cope with that once he was standing. It was only a matter of swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, standing up and walking. What was so hard about that. Chris threw the blankets off. He moved his right leg, no pain, that was good, considering there was nothing wrong with it except for maybe a few bruises. Now the hard part. He wrapped his hands around his injured leg, both hands gripping the knee and he lifted.

“Fucking hell!”

Chris swung it over instead of putting it straight back down. Gawd that hurt, that hurt more than life itself did at times. There was no use stopping now, he couldn’t stop now even if he wanted to. How the hell was he going to get his leg back up on the bed. He pushed his butt off the bed and landed his weight on his right leg. He thought about hopping over, that way he wouldn’t even have to put his left leg on the ground. It needed to be tested, he had to test it. First the toes then the heel, then a bit more weight. The toes touched the cool floor. That wasn’t too bad, hardly any pain at all there. The heel was slowly lowered, very slowly lowered. It also touched the floor. That was okay also. A little bit of weight, equalled a little bit of pain in his hip. Did that mean if he put a lot of weight on his leg, that there would be a lot of pain in his hip. Probably. He tested it to find out. Yep, there was more pain. Using the bed as support he lifted the hospital gown he wore - why the hell did they put a gown on him, Buck had brought Ezra pyjamas and left him practically bearing his butt for everyone to see - the entire hip area and upper thigh was coverd by deep purple bruise. Shit, no wonder it hurt so much. He wasn’t going to be able to put his full one hundred and sixty three pounds on that leg. He would have walk on his toes.

He used the bed to support his weight, much like a crutch would. Small steps was what was needed. By the time he reached the end of his bed, the back of his shirt was beginning to soak up the sweat that ran down his back. He used the back of his hand to wipe the sweat off his forehead.

“I’m coming Ezra, and when I get there, you better talk to me. You hear me!”

Chris contemplated what he was going to do next. It wasn’t far to Ezra’s bed. He was going to hop, he hadn’t done it since he was a kid, but he was sure he could still do it. He tried it, yep, he could still do it. He continued, and with each step he had to hop faster as his weight began to fall forward. His hands grab the end of Ezra’s bed.

“I’m here Ezra.” Chris smiled at the form. “You’re going to talk to me now, you southern bastard.”

Chris used his toes again. Phyisotherapy. Who the hell needed that. He sure as hell didn’t, he was doing fine all on his own. The door flew open. Chris jumped in surprise, landed on his bad leg, howled in pain and fell flat on his face.

“Chris!” Vin rushed to his side. “What do you think you’re doing down there.”

“Looking for something to hit you with.” Chris spoke through clenched teeth.

“Why don’t you just use your fist, that’s what you usually do.” Vin smiled at him then looked at the occupied bed. “Is that Ezra?”

“Yeah.” Chris glared back at the sharp-shooter. “Are you going to help me up.”

“In a minute.”

“What do you mean in a minute?” Chris yelped. “You can’t leave me down here.”

“You got yourself there, you can stay there.”

“What!”

Vin moved to the bed and pulled the covers down to reveal Ezra’s face. The blood from his split lip was soaking into the pillow . The Texan could see that Ezra was fast asleep. He put the blanket back then walked to the door.

“Buck! Ezra’s in here. He’s asleep again.”

“He’s asleep!” Chris couldn’t believe it. “I did all this for nothing.”

“Looks like it cowboy.” Vin answered.

“Don’t call me cowboy and get me off this damn floor.” Chris raised his arm but Vin was just looking at him.

“You weren’t going to hit him were you?”

“I don’t deserve that Vin.” Chris growled.

Vin shrugged and grabbed Chris’ arm. “Just looking out for Ezra.”

“I wouldn’t hit him again. Hell, I don’t even remember hitting him the first time.”

Chris allowed Vin to pull him to his feet and help him back to his bed. He was literally picked and put back into it.

“Oh by the way. Buck’s got the guy who hit you with his car.”

“What?”

“Ezra ran into him in the stairwell, that’s where Buck found Ezra, who gave him a description and Buck went after him. Buck’s got him outside, he’s waiting for the police to show up.”

“It’s over, just like that?”

“I don’t think so. We still have to prove that he’s the guy. You didn’t see him and neither did Ezra. It’ll be his word against you guys. We can get him for hitting Ezra but that’s all. Ezra didn’t even see him when he attacked him in his home.”

“So there isn’t a lot we can do then.” Chris wasn’t happy.

“Nope.”

“Shit.”

“Shit yeah.”

“What’s wrong with him?” Chris strained to see through the group of men that surrounded Ezra’s bed.

“He’s exhausted. Simple as that.” the doctor explained. “He’s put a lot of stress on his body, he obviously hasn’t been eating or sleeping properly. Between that and the beatings he seems to keep getting,” he shrugged, “his body has shut down. He just needs plenty of rest to give his body a chance to catch up again.”

“We have to get him to rest?” Buck couldn’t believe it.

“You don’t have to worry about that, his body isn’t going to give him a choice.” the doctor smiled at Buck. “I’ll come back later.”

“Thanks doc.”

“You’re welcome.” he pointed a finger at Chris. “Don’t let that one get out of bed again.” he walked passed Chris on his way to the door. “I’ll have you strapped to the bed if I have to.”

“Whatever.” Chris growled in return.

Chris glared at the doctor’s back until he disappeared from the room. “Who’s the asshole Buck?”

“Uh Chris, that’s the doctor and I don’t think you should be talking about him like that, he’s the one . . . “

“I mean the guy you arrested, you fucking prick!” Chris yelled at him. “I’m not in the mood for any of your shit, and that goes for all of you.”

“Chris, you’re going to wake Ezra up and I don’t he think he’ll be very pleased about that, I mean, he’s already not talking to you, what do you think he’ll do if you disturb his beauty sleep . . . cowboy.” Vin crossed his arms across his chest and challenged Chris to shut him up. The smile on his face caused Chris’ face to redden with anger.

“Vin,” Chris spoke quietly and Vin knew he was in trouble, “I may not be able to do anything at this moment because I’m in a hospital bed, but when I get out of here and I’m walking on two legs . . . I’M GOING TO BEAT THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF YOU!”

“Chris, you don’t want to yell like that,” Nathan warned him, “the nurses might think you’ll need a sedative and if they don’t, then I’ll tell them that you do.”

“You’ll be after him.” Chris warned him. “Buck?”

“What?”

“Who’s the asshole you arrested?”

“What asshole?” Buck looked at Vin then back at Chris. “I arrested an asshole.”

“You’re dead, all of you are!”

“What did I do?” choked JD.

“You’re in a room with him.” Chris nodded at Buck.

“So Chris, you want to know who the guy is that I arrested?” Buck asked him.

One . . . two . . . three . . . four . . . five . . .

“Chris?”

Six . . . seven . . . eight . . .

“I think he’s gone to sleep.” Vin told Buck.

“With his eyes open?”

Nine . . . ten.

“Yes Buck I would like to know who he is.”

“Finally, I thought you were ignoring me for a minute there.” Buck decided to sit down. “He’s name is Paul Alkoyed. Ex FBI agent, kicked off the force, well actually he was arrested for manslaughter and was sent to jail. The key witness for the prosecution was one, Ezra .P Standish. Guess the guy didn’t like that.”

“I checked the files on the case,” JD continued, “seems the guy was assigned to Ezra during an undercover operation. During the arrests, the guy used too much force on one of the suspects, he died later in hospital.”

“And he was only charged with manslaughter?” Josiah asked.

“It was either that or let him go, they could get him on a wrongful death, but all that would have done . . .” JD wasn’t allowed to finish.

“They would have just taken his badge and gun.” Buck finished.

“And his pension.” Vin nodded in agreement.

“What were you able to get him on?” Chris frowned at Buck.

“Assualting an ATF agent. His arraignment is the day after tomorrow.” Buck explained.

“Good, gives me a chance to go and have a little chat with him.” Chris smiled.

“You’re not going anywhere!” Nathan was adament that Chris stayed where he was.

“Oh yes I am. Even if I have to find my own way there.”

“Then I guess we’ll have to get the doctor to strap you to the bed.” Nathan smiled.

“Nathan, I feel fine . . . “

“What makes you think you feel fine?” Nathan questioned him.

“My head doesn’t hurt that much now, it’s just like a headache.”

“Your ribs?”

“They’re sore but a painkiller will take care of that.”

“No it wouldn’t.” the ex-medic warned him. “Your hip.”

“I’ll use crutches.”

“You’re supposed to start physio tomorrow.”

“I’ll do it afterwards.”

“You’re not going anywhere.” Nathan repeated.

“That’s what you think.” Chris smiled his alknowing grin and the others knew it was going to be hard convincing him to stay in bed.

Chris watched as Ezra slept. The two of them were alone now, he’d insisted that the others go home for the night. They only agreed because he had promised not to go anywhere during the night. He stared at the drip that was releasing vital fluids into Ezra’s blood stream. Only an hour before a nurse had been in to inject antibiotics into the tube. It would be a few days before Ezra began antibiotics in tablet form.

There hadn’t been any nightmares and he hoped that Ezra would get the sleep he needed. Jesus, how was he going to sort this shit out. Ezra was mad at him and it looked like that anger wasn’t going to let up any time soon. If only he could remember what he had said and done. He knew Ezra wouldn’t lie about what had happened but if he could recall the events leading up to the accident, then it would be easier for him to work out the best tactics available to him. He needed to convince Ezra to stay and accept his apologies and forgive him for what happened.

Ezra’s form shifted and he was silent no longer. The Southerner was finally waking up. Chris smiled at the use of profanity. It made Ezra seem more human, too often his undercover agent kept his anger in check and his emotions hidden. It was unatural for a person to do.

“You’re using a few words there that I don’t even know Ezra.” Chris laughed.

“Shutup!” was Ezra’s only response.

“No.” Chris decided that if Ezra wasn’t going to talk then he would do the talking for both of them. “You been sleeping alot lately.”

Only silence answered him this time. Chris thought Ezra had fallen asleep again. The blankets were thrown off revealing a wide awake Ezra Standish. Chris could see that Ezra was examing the room, no doubt looking for his guards.

“They’ve all gone home again.” Chris answered the questioning look Ezra held. “Don’t worry, they’ll be back tomorrow.

Ezra contemplated another escape, he sat up, then fell back down again. His body wasn’t up to it.

“Feelin’ any better Ezra?”

There was still no response, Ezra was also refusing to look at him.

“You look better, you were looking a bit green around the gills yesterday. Not surprised though running into Alkoyed again. That got a response, even if it was a brief changed in his expression. “I’m going to go talk to him tomorrow.”

Chris could tell that Ezra wanted to say something. The Southerner was biting his bottom lip in an attempt to keep silent.

“Buck got him yesterday. He was arrested for assaulting a federal agent. Can’t get him on attempted murder, not yet anyway. No witnesses.”

“And you think that’s my fault!” Ezra growled.

“Why would it be your fault?” Ha! He’d turned it around, now Ezra had to answer his own question.

But he didn’t, there was just silence again. Asshole!

“I’m starting physio tomorrow, then I’m outta of here.” Chris wore a huge smile, especially when one tugged at Ezra’s lips. “I’m going to be kicking butt again before you know it.” Shit! That slightest hint of a smile just fell off the Southerner’s face. Wrong choice of words there Chris, next time think before you talk.

“Vin called me cowboy.”

Nothing. He had to get that smile back.

“Nathan’s treating me like a baby.”

Still nothing. He wasn’t going to be able to do it. He couldn’t make people laugh, not like Buck and Ezra can. Buck used his charm and his love of life to do and Ezra just had a wicked sense of humour that didn’t come out very often.

“All the nurses can see my butt.”

That didn’t even bring out a hint of a smile.

“Ezra, I don’t know what to say to you.”

“Then don’t say anything.”

“I don’t want to say nothing.”

“I’m tired.” Ezra told him.

“Okay. Get some sleep then Ezra, we can talk tomorrow.”

Ezra stretched his body as much as it would take, then rolled over onto his side. He didn’t cover his face with the blanket this time, it was too warm. The small light iluminated Chris’ shadow on the wall. He watched it for a moment and realised that Chris was watching him. He closed his eyes and patiently waited for sleep to claim him.

Chris wanted to sleep, knew that he had too but he couldn’t. His eyes refused to look away from Ezra. He was worried about the Southerner and he had every right to be. Maybe he should arrange it so Ezra could go with him to question Alkoyed. It would be a chance for Ezra to vent some of his anger; on Alkoyed of course. It sounded like a good idea. He was going to have to wait to see wait Nathan thought about it.

Nathan didn’t like it, of course not, why would he, it was a stupid idea. But in the long run Chris had won the argument. Now both he and Ezra sat in the back of Josiah’s car. Ezra was slumped against the passenger door, his body still lacked the strength he needed to carry out every day activities. The doctor hadn’t been impressed that the two men had decided to go on an outing, at least they were going to go back; not that the doctor had any choice about the matter.

Chris looked sideways at Ezra, the Southerner gave the impression that he was sleeping. Chris knew he wasn’t. Ezra was no doubt thinking about what was coming.

“You okay with this Ezra.”

“I’m fine with it.”

“You up to seeing him?”

“I said I’m fine with it Chris, now drop it!” Ezra growled at him without opening his eyes.

“Okay, long as you’re fine with it.” Chris nodded and looked out the side window. “As long as you’re fine about it. You are sure you’re fine with it aren’t you?”

“Shut the fuck up Chris.”

“No problem.” Chris folded his arms. “Nice day for it.”

Buck looked over his shoulder at Chris. “Why don’t you just hit him Ezra.”

“I don’t have the strength Buck.” Ezra muttered.

“You want me to hit him for you?”

“Would you please, at least shut him up for me.”

“Chris, shutup, or I’ll hit you.” Buck glared at Chris the best way he knew how.

“Excuse me!” Chris raised an eyebrow.

“You heard me. Shut up or I’ll hit you.”

“And I said! Excuse me!”

“Sorry Ezra, I did my best.” Buck quickly turned around and faced the front again. He grunted in frustration when Josiah elbowed him.

Chris smiled in satisfaction and shifted the crutches that lay next to him. He purposely bumped Ezra with one of them.

“Sorry.”

He shifted them again and hit Ezra harder.

“Sorry ‘bout that Ezra.” Chris apologised, all though he didn’t mean it.

“I would bite Mr Larabee but I’m too tired.”

“Maybe later then.” Chris pulled the crutches closer to his own body. “Got the hang of these things pretty quick didn’t I.” he patted the simple invention that could help people to walk. “Didn’t even fall over once.”

“That’s because I wasn’t there to push you over.” Ezra told him.

Chris shot a glance at Ezra and watched as the younger man shifted his position. He talked, he actually talked to me. It wasn’t something overly pleasant but it was something.

“We’re here.” Josiah announced.

Damn, just when he was getting somewhere with his undercover agent, this had to happen. Couldn’t Josiah have the common sense to see that and drive around the block a few times. Sometimes his men can be really stupid.

Josiah parked the car, then got out and opened Chris’ door. His intention was to help his boss walk into the police station. Chris wasn’t going to walk in there like he was a cripple. Chris slapped his hands away and growled at him like an animal that was about to strike and kill it’s prey. Josiah backed off.

Buck had an easier time. Ezra wasn’t in the position to fight off the ladies man. He had no choice but to allow him to help him. Buck held Ezra’s arm just above the left elbow. It looked as though an agent was holding onto his prisoner so he wouldn’t escape.

Ezra was looking forward to the confrontation. He didn’t have the strength to beat the crap out of Alkoyed but he had other ways of getting his point across. He just hoped that no one was going to stop him. Buck and Josiah wouldn’t allow them to be alone in the room with the guy; not in their condition. Ezra didn’t think Alkoyed would do anything stupid, he wasn’t that dumb. He just had a temper that at times, he couldn’t control. That’s why Sorrenson had died, Alkoyed had lost control. He had tried to stop the agent but received a broken rib for his trouble. Ezra smiled. All he needed to do was to make him lose his temper.

“Planning on enjoying yourself Ezra?” Buck had seen the smile.

“Something like that.”

They made their way to the front desk and after explaining who they were and what they wanted they were asked to sit down and wait. Both Chris and Ezra were grateful for the opportunity. Although Chris had no problem using the crutches, it was causing his side to scream at him on regular occasions. Nathan was right, painkillers didn’t help his ribs. He didn’t really care. He was grateful to be out of that damn bed and out in the fresh air.

“You got anything in mind Ezra?” Chris shifted along the bench and pushed Buck out of the way.

“I might.”

Chris smiled and nudged Josiah. He pointed at Ezra and smiled even more. Josiah had no idea what Chris was talking about. Chris’ smile dropped and he nudged Josiah again. He never knew Josiah could be so stupid. He’s talking to me, Chris mouthed at him. Oh, Josiah mouthed back and nodded. Idiot, Chris mouthed again.

“So what is it?” Chris asked Ezra.

“If I tell you, you won’t let me do it.”

“You’re not going to hurt him are you?”

“Do I look like I’m capable of hurting him.” Ezra turned his head to look at Chris who was smiling at him. “I’m still not talking to you.”

“Sounds to me like you are.”

“This is business, we’re at work, sort of.” he turned away again.

“Either way, you are talking to me.”

“Whatever.” Ezra shrugged at him.

Buck walked back to the three men, a plain clothes policeman walked by his side. Josiah stood up, he was the only who could.

“Guys this is Detective Jones, he’s been questioning the asshole . . . “

“I thought you said you didn’t arrest an asshole.” Chris shot at him.

Buck ignored him. “Nothing so far, except the guy doesn’t have an alibi.”

“I don’t know what you guys are going to manage to get out of him, I couldn’t get much.” Jones looked at the two injured men.

“That’s because you’re an idiot.” Ezra informed him.

“Don’t mind him,” Buck slapped Jones on the back, “he’s not feeling well, he’s in a bad mood, and he’s acting like a four year old.”

“He’s still an idiot Buck.” Ezra spoke again.

“You don’t even know me.” Jones protested.

“I don’t have to, I can read people, and you sir, are an idiot.”

“Can you make money doing that?” Jones asked seriously.

“Can we see the asshole now please.” Chris growled.

“Sure, he’s been taken to interview room number five.” Jones nodded to the right. “You guys need me to come with you.”

“No.” Chris told him as he stood up.

Ezra pushed himself up and began to follow the others. Buck stayed with him in case his legs gave way.

“Buck,” Ezra stopped walking, “do you trust me?”

“What?”

“Do you trust me?”

“Of course I do.”

“Do you trust me enough to put me in a room alone with that man?” Ezra looked towards Chris and Josiah who had stopped when they realised that their friends were no longer following them.

“What do you have in mind Ezra.” Buck smiled.

“I’ll need your gun.”

Buck didn’t even blink. “As long as you promise not to kill him, or, and I repeat that, or, Chris when you’re done.”

“Deal.” Ezra stood in front of Buck to hide the exchange. “I owe you one for this Buck.”

“I’ll be thinking of a way you can return the favour while you’re in there. And Ezra, don’t do anything stupid, you don’t need any more injuries.”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

They continued to walk and when they reached the room, Buck indicated physically for Josiah to move out of the way. When he did, Buck opened the door for Ezra. After the Southerner entered the room he closed the door.

“Buck?” Chris looked at the closed door then Buck. “What are you doing?”

“We can watch in the other room.”

“You’re leaving Ezra alone in there with that asshole.”

“It’s what Ezra wanted.”

“What?”

“It’s what Ezra wanted.”

“Buck!”

“We’re missing the show Chris.”

“I’m really starting to hate you Buck.”

“You’ll change your mind when Ezra returns the favour.”

Ezra closed the door behind him. Alkoyed looked up to see who his visitor was and smiled. Ezra smiled in returned and walked slowly towards the chair. He had to make sure that Paul didn’t see him hurting. Things wouldn’t go his way if Alkoyed did. He sat down, the gun was tucked into the back of his jeans where the man who sat opposite him couldn’t see it.

“Long time no see Ezra.”

“Only yesterday wasn’t it.”

“Not that I remember.” Alkoyed lied. “Last time I saw you, it was at my trial.”

“Where I gave evidence against you.” Ezra nodded. “Something I enjoyed doing. You deserved to go to jail, you just didn’t go for long enough as far as I’m concerned.”

“Really.”

“Yeah.”

“The guy deserved what he got. He was pumping drugs into thirteen and twelve year olds.”

“It didn’t matter if he deserved it. You dishing out your own punishment caused you to lose your job and spend time in jail.”

“So I went a little to far.”

“A little? You smashed the guy’s head in. He was lucky to live as long as he did.”

“To long.”

Buck opened the door for Chris and Josiah then followed them in. He could see Ezra, his back was to the mirror. Damn. He loved to watch Ezra at work, his facial expressions were enough to piss anyone off, even the Pope. On the other hand, he could see the asshole. This was going to be fun. He passed Chris and sat down in the only chair without thinking. He silently wished for some popcorn.

“Buck.”

“What?” he didn’t take his eyes off the back of Ezra’s head.

“Do you mind.” Chris was practically leaning over him.

“Mind what?”

“The chair.”

“You want me to mind the chair?” Buck was confused.

“Get out of the damn chair and let me sit down!” Chris was ready to hit him with a crutch.

“Huh?”

“My hip!”

“Oh yeah, right, sorry.” Buck blushed and got out of the chair. “It’s just the way you talk Chris, you wouldn’t know you weren’t capable of pissing on your own.”

“I honestly, truly, hate you right now Buck Wilmington.”

“You said that already.”

“Josiah.”

“Yes Chris.”

“Am I allowed to quit?”

“Anytime you want to Chris.” Josiah chuckled.

“Then I quit.”

“You wanted him to die?” Ezra raised an eyebrow at him.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I.” Alkoyed leaned forward and put his elbows on the table. “You wanted him to die as well.”

“I tried to stop you remember. You hit me with a two-by-four for my trouble.”

“That was the fun part. I would have hit you a few more times but the calvary arrived.”

“So what did I do to piss you off so much?” Ezra had just learnt something that he’d never known about.

“I never liked you, no one did. You had a way of letting people think you were better than them. Too good to come to the bar to have a drink with your co-workers. You were a loner and people don’t like that.”

“You hit me because you didn’t like me?”

“That’s right.”

Ezra nodded in understanding. It was something that happened plenty of times before. “You should have a chat with Chris Larabee, he thinks along the same lines as you do.”

Behind the mirror, Chris visibly winced at the words that were meant to sting.

“Who’s Chris Larabee?”

“The guy you hit with your car.”

“I hit a guy with my car.”

“You must have been pretty dissapointed that you missed me.”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about Standish.”

There it was. Alkoyed used his last name, he was getting pissed off.

“You never were good at your job, but you knew that didn’t you.” Ezra also leaned forward and smiled at Alkoyed. “That’s why they put the idiot with the loner.”

“I’m not an idiot.”

“Only an idiot would have missed me when trying to run me down with a car.” this time Ezra winked at him.

“If I had tried it, you’d be dead by now!”

“I don’t think so. You see, you couldn’t tie your own shoelaces until you were twelve.”

Alkoyed leaned back into his chair. “You’re trying to make me lose my temper aren’t you. Think that maybe I’ll admit to something that I didn’t do.”

“No, thought you might give me the opportunity to kick your ass like I use to.”

“You were lucky.”

“That you missed with your car.

“No, that you use to beat me.”

“You were easy, you fight like a girl, acutally a girl could beat you to a pulp.”

“I had no trouble beating you in that hospital stairwell.” Alkoyed was smug.

“I had my back to you. You cheated, that’s the only way you could beat me. It was the same in my home.”

“I beat you fair and square.”

There was one, he didn’t deny being in his home or beating him.

“The doctor says I’m suffering from exhaustion, not enough food, sleep, that sort of thing. Don’t even have the strength raise my arm over my head. But I could still beat you with one hand tied behind my back. You were always a coward Paul, you could never do anything face to face, it always had to be done behind someone’s back.”

“So if I wanted to, I could take you right now.”

“You could try.” Ezra reached behind him and took the gun from his jeans waistband. He placed the gun in the middle of the table. “Remember Chris Larabee, I mentioned him earlier. He feels the same way that you do. He doesn’t like me, hates me actually. Do you know what I was doing in the middle of that road? No. He put me there believe it or not. Now there’s a man who’s earned my respect.”

“You respect a man that hates you?” Alkoyed kept glancing at the gun.

“He hates me for the all the right reasons.”

“What’s he doing?” Chris had stood up so he could get closer to the mirror. “And where the hell did he get that gun? Why does he think I hate him? He respects me?”

“You’re getting off the subject there Chris.”

“I know! So what is he doing?”

“Trying to piss him off, just like the guy said.”

“Where did he get the gun?”

“I gave it to him.” Buck admitted.

“Buck . . . why . . . did . . . you . . . give . . . him . . . a . . . gun?” Chris spoke very slowly, making sure he emphasised each word.

“Because he asked for it.” Buck shrugged.

“I wish you were dead right now Buck.”

“Aren’t you going to ask why he respects you.” Josiah was leaning against the mirror watching the events play out in the other room.

“He respects me because he thinks I’m cool.”

“He thinks you’re cool?”

“Yep.”

“Cold more like it.” Buck corrected him.

“What reasons are they?”

“He hates my independence, my ability to take care of myself without the help of others. He hates my ability to hide my emotions, to be cold when I need to be. He hates the way I dress, it makes it easy to blend in the with the wrong crowd. He hates the way I piss him off so easily, but that’s something I really enjoy doing. There’s plenty of other reasons but I don’t have time to go into them.”

“So, what are you planning on doing with the gun?” Alkoyed asked him.

“I plan on killing you with it.” Ezra smiled wickedly.

“You’re going to shoot me?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to.”

“Like I wanted to beat that guy to death.”

“No. I’m going to kill you because it will be selfdefence. You tried to kill me, there’s nothing to say that you won’t try again when you get out.”

“You’ll go to jail for it.”

“Remember what you asked me when you were beating the shit out of me at my house?”

Alkoyed frowned at Ezra and leaned his head to the left. His eyes continued to glance at the gun. To him it was a means of escape.

“You said no one should waste their own life to save mine."

Alkoyed stared at Ezra, he had no idea what the guy was talking about.

“My life isn’t worth saving, Chris shouldn’t have risked his to save mine. So I’m going to shoot you, which in turn will send me to jail. That way they’ll never have to risk their lives to save my sorry-good-for-nothing-ass again.”

“You’re not serious are you?”

“Have you ever known me to bluff?”

“No.” Alkoyed felt a trickle of sweat run down his back. He knew Ezra was capable of doing such a thing. Hell the man would probably even get a way with it. He had the luck of the devil, things may start out bad for him, but in the long run, everything always turned out okay for him. If he was going to get out of here, he was going to have to make a move.

“Buck,” Chris glared at the man standing next to him, “what’s he doing!”

“It’s called a bluff Chris, he’s trying to make the asshole make the first move.”

“And if he does?”

Buck looked sideways at Chris. “Ezra will beat him to it.”

“If you’re wrong Buck . . . “

“What? You going to hit me with your crutch?”

“Well?”

“Well what?” Alkoyed glanced nervously at the gun. He had to beat the Southerner, if he was as sick as he claimed to be.

“Are you ready to die.” Ezra leaned forward. “I need to go back to bed and I don’t want to stay here all day.”

“No I’m not.” Alkoyed’s hand shot forward and he grabbed the gun before Ezra could even move. He aimed it at the undercover agent and pulled the trigger.

“BUCK!” Chris yelled at the back that was disappearing through the door.

“It didn’t fire Chris.” Josiah relaxed then made his way to the door. “The clip’s empty.”

“Damn son-of-a-bitch, I’m going to kill him myself!”

“You just attempted to murder a Federal Agent.” Ezra smiled at him.

“Fucking bastard!”

Alkoyed stood up and swung a wide ark with his gun arm. The barrel hit Ezra squarely on the right cheek. The force knocked him from his chair and he slammed against the floor. Alkoyed threw his chair away and followed Ezra. He heard the door open behind him but he was going to strike another blow before anyone could stop him. He held the gun’s barrel with a death grip, raised it over his head, he brought it down with all his strength behind it and hit the back of Ezra’s skull as he was struggling to get up. Ezra fell back to the floor and lay in an umoving heap.

Buck ran forward and grabbed Alkoyed by the arm, he swung him around and slammed his fist against his face. The asshole landed on the table, Buck lifted him and hit him again. He continued to hit him until he fell unconscious to the floor on the other side of the room.

When Buck finally turned around, he was heaving, his breath was rapid and he was scared to death. He could see Josiah kneeling next to Ezra, Chris was standing as best he could next to them. Buck slowly walked over to them and glanced down at Ezra. Blood had pooled around his skull. Josiah was applying pressure to the wound in an attempt to stop the bleeding.

“Fucking idiot!” Chris Larabee was seathing. “Damn fucking idiot.”

“Leave him be Chris, Ezra only did what he thought was the only option that was left to him.”

“He’s still a fucking idiot and I’m going to tell him that when he wakes up. Damn him!”

“Just don’t hit him Chris.” Buck struggled to smile.

“I really want to hit you right now Buck.”

Ow . . . ow . . . ow. Now that hurts, that really hurts, in fact, that hurts too much. You can let go now. I said you can let go! I’ve counted to ten already, why haven’t you. One, two, five, eight, ten. See, I’ve counted to ten twice now. That makes twenty as far as I’m concerned. Why do you have to push so hard. I’m going to hit you if you don’t let go and I don’t care if you’re a hundred and ten pound, five foot two woman who wears glasses.

“Okay Mr Larabee, I think that’s enough for today.” his physiotherapist lay his leg back down onto the mat.

“You sure, I’m ready to do some more.” Chris smiled, although, behind the smile he was ready to committ cold blooded murder.

“We can do a couple more if you really want to.” she reached for his leg.

“Ah . . . no . . . that’s okay . . . if you think I’ve done enough for today, I won’t do anymore.”

“That’s what I thought,” she reached forward and pinched Chris’ cheek, “behind the tough exterior there is a big softie struggling to get out.”

Chris wanted to grab the wrist and break it in two.

“Why don’t we get you back into that chair so you can go back to your room.”

Chris did as much of the work as he could. He didn’t want to rely on this woman, this woman that was shorter than him and weighed less than him. He hated this shit.

“I can get back there on my own thank you very much.” Chris forced a smile to light up his face.

“No problem, I’ll see you tomorrow then Mr Larabee.”

Chris watched her retreating back.

“Bitch.”

“I heard that and as a punishment we’ll do an extra two tomorrow.”

“Shit!”

The wheel of Chris’ chair hit the doorframe causing a spill of foul language. He reversed then moved forward again. There was a group of men watching him, no doubt laughing at him, they had been since that morning. Even if they threatened him with physical torture, there was no way he was going to tell them what that, skinny, boney-assed girl, did to him. The information wasn’t going to be dragged from him in any form.

“Stupid bitch pinched my cheek like I was some overweight five year old.” he growled as he wheeled his chair closer to his bed. “Said I was a softie at heart. Who does she think she is! Doesn’t she know I could kill a man where my bare hands. Is she stupid or what.”

“Pretty accurate I would say.” Vin didn’t move to help Chris get into bed.

“I’m still going to beat the shit out of you Vin Tanner.”

“Wan’t some help there Chris?” JD came forward and help Chris into bed and into a more comfortable position.

“I’m sure she counted to fifty when she was only supposed to count to ten.”

“Maybe she couldn’t count.” Vin continued to enjoy aggrevating Chris.

“Chris!” Buck tried to get his friend to think about something else.

“What do you want asshole.”

“Ezra’s awake.” Buck smiled.

“And what would you like me to do about it?”

“You could shut up,” Buck suggested, “Ezra’s got a headache, told me that himself he did.”

“He’s got a headache.” Chris mimicked. “What about my damn hip, that’s sore, hurts like hell after that bitch was through with it. Not to mention that my head was in a lot of pain for a while there, and my side, and the rest of me for that matter. I don’t care about his head. If the idiot was stupid enough to pull a stunt like that then he deserves a headache.”

“He’s got a point there Ezra.”

“Did he call me an idiot?” Ezra asked Buck.

“Yes he did Ezra.”

“I’m still not talking to him.”

“You don’t have to tell him, I can hear you over here!” Chris yelled at him.

Ezra winced as the voice screeched through his skull.

“He also called you a fucking idiot, which is what you are, for the stunt you pulled with the asshole.” Buck informed him.

“Asshole?” Ezra frowned.

“Alkoyed.”

“I had to do something, it was his word against mine.” Ezra closed his eyes.

He hadn’t remembered anything after the first time Alkoyed had hit him. When he did finally wake up in a coherent state, he was told that he had a serious concussion and he’d been in and out of it for two days. Most of the time was spent throwing up and cursing Chris Larabee.

“What you did nearly got you killed!” Chris continued in his angry tone. “You’re an idiot Ezra Standish. A stubborn-good-for-nothing-pain in the ass-southern idiot who doesn’t know what’s best for him.”

“He’s pretty pissed then is he.” Ezra smiled at Buck.

“You could say that.”

“When you get out this damn hospital, which will be sooner than me because some stupid doctor decided to keep me in for a few more days, you’re staying at Nathan’s,”

Chris saw the shocked expression on Ezra’s face and kept going before the stupid idiot could say something.

“Yes, you heard me. He’s going to get you back for all the things you did to me, all the name calling over the past two days, Buck and Vin’s attitude towards me because they felt they had to protect you! Like you need protecting, stupid smartass. He’s going to make you eat crap, get up before five, go to bed at five then make you do it all over again. And when you’re well enough to go back to work, I want you there at seven am sharp. Do you hear me Standish!”

“Sorry I lost you after you said you were staying in for a few more days.” Ezra forced himself into a sitting position. “Acutally, I think I might go home now. What do you think Buck.”

“I think you’re an idiot who’s staying in a hospital bed until the doctor says you can go home.”

“Bastard!”

“That’s nothin’ Ezra. Chris has been calling me all sorts of names. He even hates me right now. Don’t you Chris.”

“If I wasn’t in this damn bed I’d hit you right now.”

Buck winked at Ezra and walked over to Chris’ bed. He leaned over it and faced his cheek towards his friend. “Go on then Chris, if you want to hit me so badly then hit me.”

Chris smiled and Vin who was watching knew what was about to happen. Chris did hit Buck, he hit him hard enough to knock him off his feet.

“Vin Tanner! You’re next. I haven’t forgotten that I’m going to beat the living shit out of you.”

“See Ezra,” Vin shrugged at him, “you’re not the only that he hits.”

“But I didn’t do anything.” Ezra protested.

“All you have to do with Chris is get out of bed.”

“Vin,” Ezra motioned to him to come closer. Ezra wasn’t surprised when Buck joined his side. “I still don’t want to talk to him.”

“That’s okay Ezra.” Vin patted Ezra on the arm.

“Why did she have to die?” the Southerner whispered.

“Because four assholes decided it would be easier to kill her than to tell her to get the hell out of there.” Vin told him in a low voice. He was aware that Ezra didn’t want Chris to hear any of this.

“Why couldn’t I stop them?”

“Four men with guns, no one person could have stopped them Ezra.” Buck whispered back.

“What are you guys talking about?” Chris was curious.

“We’re not talking to you.” Buck stood up, poked his tongue out at Chris then returned to his position.

“I should have been able to do something.”

“You’re not God Ezra, if he didn’t do anything, what makes you think you could have.”

“I don’t know Vin. I just think . . . “

“Then don’t think Ezra. She was in the wrong place at the wrong time. There was nothing you or anyone could have done to save her.”

“Vin, can I stay at your place when I get out of this dump.”

“Sure you can Ezra.”

“Hey, what about my place,” Buck complained, “you could stay with me and JD if you want.”

“Your place is a dump Buck, I wouldn’t go in there if I was healthy.”

“There’s gratitude for you. I beat the crap out of the asshole for you and you insult me.”

“You beat up Chris?” Ezra raised an eyebrow.

“No Ezra! Alkoyed.”

“Oh.”

“You think you can forgive Chris for what happened?” Vin was still whispering.

“Once I stop being angry at him, I might.” Ezra nodded. “More so if I can watch him beat the crap out of you.”

“That’s not going to happen Ezra. I’m not an idiot.”

“I want to know what you guys are talking about.” Chris demanded this time.

“Ezra’s escape plan.” Vin said.

“What! You’re not going anywhere and leaving me here.”

“We’re not talking to you right now Chris. You hit Ezra, you hit me . . . “

“You stuck your face in front of my fist, what was I supposed to do.”

“And you’re threatening to hit Vin. We don’t like that, so you can stay here.”

“You don’t mean that, do you.”

“You hit Ezra.” Buck repeated.

“Ezra,” Chris started, “I . . . hell, I’m not going to apologise for something I don’t even remember doing. Besides that, he probably deserved it.”

“I didn’t deserved it.”

“I thought you weren’t talking to me.”

“I’m not, I just thought I’d throw that in before you continue.” Ezra shrugged.

“That’s not it.” Chris smiled. “You want to talk to me, you just don’t want to be the one to give first.” he gave Ezra the finger. “I’m not talking to you Ezra Standish.”

“Now Chris is acting like a four year old.”

“We’re leaving.” Vin and Buck spoke together.

“You can’t leave me alone with him.” Chris warned them.

Ezra wanted to say the same thing but kept his mouth shut.

The two men didn’t listen to Chris’ complaints, instead they walked out of the room, allowing the door to slam close behind them.

Chris stared at Ezra, who stared back at him. Neither man flinched.

Buck Wilmington and Vin Tanner decided that they needed a well deserved drink, maybe even get drunk. Tomorrow was a Saturday, they could stay in bed, suffer from a hangover and not care about anything or anyone. If Chris and Ezra ended up in a physical brawl, they weren’t going to be there to stop it, these two men no longer cared. As for the other members of the group, yhey knew they were already at their local hangout. The three men had refused to enter the hospital room that was holding a lot of anger. They were cowards. If you tore the shirts from their bodies, you would find a yellow streak down their backs.

Vin entered the bar first and made his way to the three men that were waiting for them. Cold beers were on the table, ready for Vin and Buck to drink, shots of whiskey stood beside the glasses. The whiskey quickly disappeard and so did the beer.

“JD, why don’t you get us another, and bring the bottle back with you.”

“How’s Ezra and Chris?” Nathan asked, his voice a little slurred.

“If you weren’t such a coward you would know.” Buck shot back at him.

“I’m not a coward!”

“Really.” Vin grabbed what was left of Nathan’s beer and downed it in one gulp.

“Their not talking to each other, I don’t know who’s going to break first.” Buck explained.

“I say Chris.” Josiah nodded.

“How would you know, you were too scared to make an appearance. Poor Ezra thinks you don’t like him anymore.” it’s was Buck’s turn to take a shot at the men. “JD I can understand, he’s still young and he shouldn’t see that sort of thing. It’s not good for him. But you, you’re supposed to stand by him, protect him from Chris’ wrath . . . “

“Chris’ wrath?” Josiah leaned forward, “where did you get that one from.”

“I do read you know.” Buck protested.

“Girlie magazines.” Vin joked.

“They have some good articles you know.”

“Really?” Vin was shaking his head.

“Yes really. Why only the other day I was reading one about how a certain drug can cure a stroke, well it’s a fifty percent chance and the stroke has to be caused by a blood clot, the other fifty percent is that it could kill by causing a haemorrhage.”

“Really?”

“Yes really.”

“Buck,” Nathan knew Buck could be stupid, but not this stupid, “that’s old news.”

“It was an old edition.”

Three Hours Later “What the hell do they think they're doing?” Vin growled to no one in particular.

“Who?” Nathan who had his back to the door had no idea who Vin was talking about.

“Chris and Ezra.”

“They’re probably sleeping right now.” Nathan told him.

“Is that what they call sleeping these days.” Buck couldn’t keep the smile off his face.

“What?” JD frowned at Buck then looked over his shoulder to see what the two men were talking about. He nearly fell out of his seat at the sight.

Ezra was struggling to stay on his feet while he was assisting Chris who seemed to have lost one of his crutches. Chris was still wearing scrubs and Ezra was dressed in jeans and a lose fitting t-shirt. The two men slowly made their way to the bar. Ezra sat while Chris stood. The backs of both men were soaked with sweat. Ezra ordered drinks, then spoke to the barman, his thumb pointed over his shoulder towards the five men watching them.

“I think the drinks are on us.” Josiah read Ezra’s body language.

“They shouldn’t be here.” Nathan warned the others once he realised that the two subjects of the conversation were here in the flesh.

“You tell them that.” Buck growled at Nathan.

“I will.” Nathan stood up. “Josiah, want to give me a hand.”

“No.”

“I’m not going over there on my own.”

“See,” Buck smiled, “cowards.”

“I’ll go.” JD wasn’t scared of them, only because he knew the two men would never do anything to hurt him, verbally or physically.

The four men watched, intriged by what was happening. It only took five minutes then JD returned to the table.

“Well?” Vin leaned towards him then looked at Ezra and Chris’ backs.

“Well what?” JD drank from his glass.

“What did they say! Are they going back to the hospital.” Nathan asked him.

“They said they weren’t talking to you guys.”

“What?” Buck couldn’t believe what he just heard.

“Chris and Ezra, said they weren’t talking to you guys.” JD repeated himself.

“They're not talking to us?” Vin shook his head in disbelief.

“Yeah, us as in you guys. They're still talking to me. In fact, I’m going to drive them home once they get drunk enough to forget their problems.”

“You’re taking them home!” Nathan growled. “They should be in a hospital bed!”

“Well, when I say home, I actually mean Vin’s place. You see, Vin said that Ezra could stay with him and they thought that Vin wouldn’t mind if Chris came too.”

“I really hate those two right now.” Vin growled.

~~The End~~