A New Year has begun. The clarity that I had be searching for finally arrived. ( Although it would have been helpful, had it come much, much sooner :] ). I know my past is my past and that is were it belongs. I still keep my memories close to my heart, but my thoughts of them being relived in the present are finally subdued. A wise woman once told me that if things are to be than they will happen in time, a week, a month, possibly a decade. But if they don't than thats they way it'll be. It won't happen from wishful thinking or trying to force an issue. It took me a long time to realize the second part. I'd always waited for that faithful day for things to be the way the were. I figured out that things are never going to be the way the were with anything. People grow and can change. Experiences and events will be different and possibly as equally memorable or perhaps even more. Yet if they never happen again, you're still grateful that it happened atleast once. There are somethings that some people never have the joy or pleasure of having only once. It's funny how you know what you should think and deal with things but for alot of times we (especially myself) do something else that only prolongs the current effects. Most people who know me know what I'm refering to or atleast a general idea, but I'd like to believe that I have taken on this idea to incorporate with anything that happens to me. What a waste it would be if I could not come away without learning such a valuable lesson that could be applied else where and further down the road.