"I guess I’m an underwater thing
So I guess I can’t take it personally
I guess I’m an underwater thing
Liquid running
There’s a sea secret in me
It’s plain to see it is rising
But I must be flowing
Liquid diamonds"
--Tori Amos, "Liquid Diamonds"
She looked up from her cards, pausing, the scent of someone in
her caves. Hook again? No. She had fixed him for good and ever.
He had sold his peace of mind to know if he would ever see Pan’s
defeat. Yes, but only when Peter grew up, had been the
frustrating reply. The stupid man didn’t understand at all.
And now there he was, haunted by that tick-tocking crocodile.
Served him right. No, it wasn’t him; not this smell.
Oh, it was familiar. So familiar. But so awful. So like death and
destruction, that smell. So like a broken heart…
Her name was Nerissa. It meant "daughter of the sea,"
not "sea witch." But it didn’t matter. She had
come to that over the centuries and centuries she had lived.
But that smell…it called up the beginning of her life…her
youth…her infancy, really, that first hundred years. But she
had been only twenty when she and Asteroth discovered the power.
And how she had loved him. She would have done anything for him,
that handsome, brilliant, powerful creature that had disguised
itself as a man. But then the other came. The girl with the long
black hair and sapphire eyes came. She simply walked into their
beautiful world and stole him away.
Nerissa remembered how it began, as Aeris slowly made her way
down the passages, dead ends, wrong turns.
The Aboveground itself was a strange place then, deep and
mysterious. The gods and goddesses of Greek Myth had not yet even
been created, much less those of any other mythology. The world
held more secrets than truths. Mankind lived in darkness and
fear.
But one man was different. He lived with Nerissa’s people,
on the edge of a vast, bitterly cold part of the world. And on
the occasion that a snowstorm claimed a hunting party, that man
(who was no more than twenty, the same age as Nerissa herself)
came forward and told a story.
They were not dead, he explained. But the beautiful white woman
who made the snow had seen them, and loved them, and carried them
off to be with her in her palace.
It was the first story they had heard. Surely they had laughed
over the tall tales of hunters around their fires hundreds of
times, but this was something different. The look that came into
the eyes of the people grieving for their friends and family was
strange and new. They were comforted. They may or may not have
believed, but that was what they said to themselves, nodding.
Nerissa had not known the word then, or even the idea, but the
truth was, they were enchanted. And her eyes turned to the man
who had told the story.
His name had not been Asteroth then, any more than hers had been
Nerissa. But the Sea Witch could not recall what his name had
been. At any rate, it had changed that night, and so had hers.
Nerissa remembered those crude log structures they used for homes
in that white wasteland. How she had entered the one he lived in,
and found him alone, staring into the fire at the center of the
room. She sat down beside him once more in her mind.
"I liked your story."
"Was it only a story to you?" he asked. He was distant.
He did not let her through his wall then. Perhaps he never had.
She thought about the question. "It doesn’t matter. It
made them feel better."
"Yes," he mused. He glanced at her with dark, gentle
eyes. "I’m glad you liked it."
She smiled. "How did you think of it?"
"I do not know. But I have changed for it. Everything has
changed."
And even as he whispered it, the fire suddenly bloomed into a
raging pillar.
She had screamed, and he had dragged her backwards. "You see
it?" he cried, his eyes wild. "You really see it?"
He had said that over and over as she had screamed and the fire
burned higher.
Nerissa hadn’t understood. Of course she saw it,
how could she not see it, it was huge, it must have been
burning the high ceiling of the log house, and then she realized
it would catch fire and they were both doomed to die if they didn’t
get out, and she had tried to get up and run, but the boy held
her fast, demanding to know if she saw it.
"Yes!" she had screamed at him, desperate to get out.
He began to laugh. And he wouldn’t let go of her. His arms
went around her, and he hugged her tightly to him. She was
unwilling in the embrace and wanted nothing more in the world
than to get out of this place before they were burnt up. But oh,
she loved the feel of his arms around her and his dark eyes on
hers.
"You see it," he had confirmed, looking back at the
flames. "You see it."
"Have to get out of here," she was trying to tell him,
but he wasn’t listening.
"Speak to her too, then!" he cried. "Speak the
dreams to her! Don’t make me go alone! I don’t want to
go alone!"
He was insane. That was how he had come up with the story, he was
truly insane. She knew now she loved him, that was true, but he
was mad and that was also true. It was in his eyes, that crazed
joy dancing in them for no apparent reason. And now he was
speaking to the fire.
But then Nerissa realized that she was worried for nothing. She
was mad too. Because the fire began to speak back.
The voice shimmered from the flames, a white vibration. SHE IS
NOT THE OTHER.
"Speak the dreams!" he had yelled back, his voice
breaking.
SHE IS NOT READY. YOU MUST GO NOW.
"Please! She can see it! She can see the fire!"
She wanted to give him some comfort, but the thought had been
dim, in the back of her mind. All she could do then was watch the
fire. And it seemed almost to sigh, the flames dimming a little,
then it roared back to life.
COME INTO ME. IT IS TIME.
He immediately began to walk toward the fire, holding Nerissa’s
hand. She had cringed. "No!"
SHE IS NOT READY.
"You’re just trying to stop her!" he shouted back
in fury.
She heard this, and something set in her heart. She knew then
that if she didn’t follow him into this fire, she would lose
him. Better to die mad then find out later it was all true,
anyway. And so she had straightened up, taken his hand, and
followed him into that blazing heat.
And then there was darkness.
"Light," he said softly.
"What is this?" she asked. The light came, glowing pale
and deep, and it slowly illuminated everything. But there was
nothing to illuminate. There was only white.
"This is where the dreams come from," he said simply.
"Dreams?" she asked. Of course, then, no one had
dreams. Sleep was like death.
"You will understand when you sleep next. I began to see the
fire a very long time ago, it seems…and it told me things.
That I would be the creator."
"And me?"
"I don’t know."
"What do you know?"
"Nothing beyond what I told you."
And out of the white light, there came a figure, a perfect
shadow, sexless, ageless, faceless. Pure darkness, but Nerissa
had felt no ill from it. It spoke in the same voice as the fire.
I AM MAGIC, BORNE OF YOUR IDLE THOUGHTS, WIZARD.
He had sighed, the burden of the word ‘wizard’ becoming
apparent to him, the meaning still clouded in Nerissa’s
mind.
YOU WILL CREATE. YOU ARE NEEDED. AND SHE WILL ASSIST YOU. Then it
named them. YOU WILL BE CALLED ASTEROTH, AND SHE NERISSA, AND YOU
WILL BE THE FIRST.
"How!?"
A crown appeared on his brow. He cried out, his hands going to
the silver circle. She saw rubies laid into it. It was beautiful.
It had burned him, but it did not show then.
ONLY THINK OF IT, AND YOU WILL HAVE THE POWER TO CREATE. AND
DESTROY. THERE ARE NO MORE BOUNDARIES.
And the shadow vanished into the light.
Asteroth. He had closed his eyes. And then she saw the world
around them taking shape. It was a lush, green forest. He had
never seen the like; his life had been spent on the wild snowy
plain. So his conjuring was limited. The color was a little dim,
the forest itself completely silent.
She had looked at him, and he opened his eyes. Her love for him
was solidified, completely and wholly realized then. He was no
longer just a man, but a god in disguise. And she was his
goddess.
She understood it all then. He had been the first dreamer, and
that spirit of Magic had risen up from him to overwhelm him, to
use him—but not in a wicked or hateful way. It needed him to
care for it, to cultivate its new realm, to help it reach out and
wrap around others who would believe. It had first spoken to him
through the fire, and inadvertently Nerissa. It had not wanted
her…but that was something that did not concern her. She was
here, and she was going to stay. She would help this spirit, earn
its trust. And she would love Asteroth.
That first hundred years had been so happy. They stopped aging,
it seemed. Magic, she supposed. He built a world. And his
children, the lovely, odd little creations of his hand, they
called him the Dream Maker. The Wizard. The Wish Prince. The Fay
grew, and Asteroth even began to create new places. He built a
city entirely out of green. He began to build a maze. He had even
started a dream within his dream world…beginning with a
tower of pure, gleaming ivory. And through it all, Nerissa loved
him, and he loved her.
Or so she had so completely and foolishly believed.
Raizel. How could she ever forget that name? The girl had
stumbled into the Underground through one of the open places.
Asteroth had left several doors to his new world, and often
times, the people, bewitched by their new dreams, slipped in. She
had been a painter, the first perhaps, with long black hair and
blue eyes. And Asteroth had found her, brought her home to their
little house on the woods beyond the maze…
"What is this?" Nerissa had demanded, her eyes
mistrustful, searching over the girl, watching the way Asteroth
held her arm in his, gently leading her along.
"This is Raizel," he’d said, his eyes locked on
the girl, and Nerissa knew then that he was lost to her. And that
girl had only smiled shyly, the mortal in the place of power,
begging for their kindness, not knowing that she had already
received too much.
Raizel stayed in the Fay for a month, Asteroth visiting daily. It
was not long before their attraction became an affair, and the
affair Nerissa’s undoing. She knew as she had from the start
that nothing she could do would win him back. His love for her
had been a reluctant thing, coaxed, and never crossing the
boundaries of affection. And perhaps her love for him had not
been so true, either…but she could not give him up so
easily, not to this little mortal girl. It was only a matter of
time.
And then her last day in that part of this world had dawned,
bright and beautiful, and Asteroth had not returned home that
night. Nerissa knew where he was. Raizel’s little cottage,
one the edge of the maze Asteroth had only just finished
building. She went to find him.
She had expected a great and horrible ending, something climactic
and powerful. Nothing less would give her satisfaction. But
instead, it had all ended so simply…He was standing outside
the cottage, his dark eyes deeply thoughtful, looking at the
garden growing around the perimeter of the cottage.
He had paused, glanced up, and looked at her.
Her heart had broken with the understanding of what was
happening, that he was about to undo the ties of their
relationship and cast his lot with the painter. He smiled sadly
at her. She walked up to him, and he began to speak, kindly,
softly.
"Nerissa. When we began this great journey together, we did
not realize the power of the spirit of magic. When it told us
that you were not the other, we did not understand. It was a
mistake, Nerissa. I should have gone alone. I should never have
brought you here."
"How can you say that?"
"You have done good to me, cared for me, helped me create
this world. But magic has spoken to me. Raizel is the other. I
know it in my heart. She is the one."
"No." The word had fallen from Nerissa’s lips. It
felt as cold and numb as her heart.
"You gave me everything. Your love, your compassion…but
it was never enough, didn’t you feel that? I said I should
never have brought you here. It is not because I regret it. It is
because I didn’t mean to hurt you."
"Then don’t."
"Nerissa, it’s not that simple…"
"It’s is that simple!" she answered back.
"Send her home!"
"I can’t do that. How can you ask me to?"
"How can I ask? Because I love you!"
"And I love you, Nerissa…but it was never the way you
loved me."
She broke apart, then, weeping. That girl had made her cry, and
she had not cried in almost a hundred years. "I know,"
she admitted. "I know…"
He tried to hold her, but she had pushed him away. "Tell
me," she said, her passion flaring up in her eyes, "why
do you love her? What is she that I am not?"
Asteroth had bit his lower lip, a gesture significant only in
that all his heirs would bear it. "I don’t know,
Nerissa. She’s beautiful…"
"I’m beautiful! And I can look like anything, anything
you want!" She suddenly began morphing, changing her face to
be Raizel’s.
"Nerissa, it’s not that kind of beauty!" His own
temper was beginning to rise. He had no right to be angry, but he
was defensive and surprised by the fight she was putting up.
"She’s kind and gentle and brilliant. She’s
innocent. She understands me…"
"I understand you!" Nerissa had cried, returning to her
normal self.
"No! You don’t, you never have! I’m a creator! And
Raizel is like I am, a builder, a maker. You are not like me,
Nerissa. You never had your own dreams…you simply borrowed
mine."
It was true. And the truth hurt, as they said. It was all over
her face, of course. He reached to comfort her again.
"Nerissa…I’m sorry…I’m so sorry, Nerissa—"
His hand found her cheek. Tears slipped out of her eyes and onto
his fingers. He began to put his arms around her.
Her eyes narrowed, and suddenly, her hand came up and cracked
against his face. He gasped, backing away. There was danger in
Nerissa. Terrible danger. He sensed the force of magic itself
cringing in the face of her newfound hatred.
"Then have her. Take your stupid little mortal girl. I leave
you to it."
"Nerissa…Nerissa, stop you have nowhere to go."
She gazed at him coldly. "I’ll find a place. I ask only
one thing of you, oh mighty creator."
"Anything…"
"Let me create one thing for this world before I leave it
forever."
He paused, his head tilted to one side. "I suppose…"
She smiled. There was no pleasure in the smile. She began to make
the thing she knew would ease her pain…
Bright light flashed, making the sunlight seem dim. Magic stood
there, now with a form. It was a woman, with brilliant white
wings behind her, and long, golden curls cascading down her
shoulders. She never moved her lips, but the words came as they
had a hundred years ago.
NO! it cried. ASTEROTH, YOU MUST NOT!
"You’re too late," Nerissa laughed.
SHE MEANS TO KILL YOUR BRIDE!
"I am his bride!" she screamed at the woman.
The woman looked at her with brilliant, flashing, silver eyes.
YOU WERE NOT INVITED. YOU WERE ASTEROTH’S MISTAKE, it spat
out. AND NOW HE WILL PAY THE PRICE. EVERYONE WILL PAY THE PRICE.
"Not Raizel," Asteroth whispered.
HER MORE THAN ANYONE, it answered.
"No!" he cried, and grabbed Nerissa. "Don’t
do this."
"You’re too late. I’ve already begun."
"Raizel!" cried Asteroth, running around the house, to
the garden where the girl would be.
Nerissa followed, her teeth clenched, fearful that Asteroth would
find a way to protect the girl. And when she got to the garden,
her worries were confirmed.
"All right," she heard Raizel say, her voice quick and
tight, but still sure. "I’m ready."
Asteroth nodded once, and closed his eyes. The girl in his arms
ceased to exist. Then Nerissa narrowed her eyes, looking around.
There was a rosebush growing beside the house, with but one
single bud on it. Furious, she reached out to destroy it. It was
Raizel. Raizel in the form of an innocent flower.
Asteroth grabbed her hands. He said nothing, only glared at her
with his dark eyes. He held her in front of him, speaking volumes
with his freezing stare. He would not let harm befall the rose.
Suddenly, the ground rumbled ominously. Asteroth pushed Nerissa
away. She stumbled and fell on the grass. Beside her, the ground
broke, and what thrust out of the earth was a tower of thorns.
Shocked, Nerissa shrieked, and crawled away. Another came up
where she had been, and yet another beside it. They went up until
they formed a perfect wall, sealing her off from Asteroth and the
rose.
And she felt the world shift, and found herself in the darkness
of the caves below the island world, banished by Magic.
That had not been the end…oh, no, not by a long shot. But it
was a setback. A setback that lasted an entire year.
Asteroth had been right. She was not a creator. But on occasion,
when one wants something badly enough, inspiration can take them
to new heights. And when Nerissa heard the stories of the rose
behind the thorn wall, she was not far from it.
The thorns were impenetrable to all but Asteroth, and Magic. But
they told what they saw when they came out.
The rose had begun to grow. There was something inside it. And it
was possible, just ever so slightly possible, that the something
was the child of Asteroth and Raizel. That was what Nerissa’s
cards told her, as she waited in those dark caves. Nine months
later, the thorn walls vanished, and word spread that Asteroth
had a daughter, a child in Raizel’s image.
But Nerissa waited longer, years and years of careful planning.
She listened to the tales that came to her. Asteroth raised his
daughter and created more of his world. Nerissa hid in the caves
and plotted.
The child aged slowly, inheriting half of Asteroth’s strange
immortality, along with many powers that could not be explained.
Her one defense in the world was to turn the offender to a dead
rose. But most strange was her painting…
She could paint the future.
Nerissa still had the ability to create one creature, and she did
so in the darkness. It was beautiful. And it was hungry for one
thing.
The rose-born child.
She had failed then. It had failed her. And she couldn’t
think on that now, on the way Asteroth had defeated the creature
and saved his daughter. She couldn’t think on it now because
someone was screaming in the entrance to her rooms, pulling her
out of her reverie.
That smell. It was the smell of the rose-born. The Herald.
Nerissa’s lips moved into a humorless smile.
"Welcome," she told Aeris. She pushed back the hood of
her cloak, revealing her red curling hair and green eyes, and the
visage of a young woman. "It’s not all that bad, is
it?"