Repeats and Brawls
Part 2
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
After sighing a moment, Thomas Giles looked at his granddaughter by marriage."Elizabeth, I don't think-"
Twirling around, Buffy batted her eyes at him.”But isn’t this outfit great? I think it really brings out the green in my eyes. Don’t you think so?”
“Yes, it does, but aren’t we just supposed to find one dress, not five,”Thomas Giles said with some asperity. When he caught Buffy’s pout, he sighed.”But I suppose that one more frock wouldn’t hurt...”
Buffy smiled widely at him as she looked at herself in the mirror.”Thanks, Grandpa Giles. We top by the shoe department next. I need accessories, too.”
“Elizabeth-”
Buffy pouted at him again. Thomas Giles looked up at the ceiling for a moment, then looked down at her. She was still pouting and looking at him with wide eyes. He sighed and mumbled his consent. Buffy squealed with delight and hugged him before she disappeared into the dressing room.
Walking away from the couple, Eugenia shook her head.”How does she do that?”
“How does she do what?”Nana Bethie asked from her seat near the dressing room. Lawrence was sitting next to her. Eugenia sat beside her.
“How does Elizabeth bat her eyes and get father to buy her a new dress?”Eugenia demanded.
Nana Bethie smiled at her.”Easy she’s my great-granddaughter. Now shush, I wish to hear the story that the girls told Lawrence in the limo.”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"So then what happened after that?"Eugenia demanded as she took out a chocolate bar from her pocket."Want some?"
"So then what happened when?"Willow asked as she seated herself next to Eugenia."Can I have some chocolate?"
Eugenia handed Willow some chocolate. Lawrence sighed as he rubbed his forehead."I was trying to relate to Eugenia the story of how Elizabeth's father is involved in all the mischief that occurred so far."
"Oh,"Willow said slowly as she munched on the chocolate."Did you get the story right so far?"
Lawrence shot her a dirty look."As far as I could with the different versions that you, Faith, Cordelia, and Amy gave me."
"My version *was* the original and right version!"Willow protested as she glared at him."Cordelia was the one that added the stupid stuff about high school and-"
"Peppers!"Eugenia blurted out as she smiled widely. Willow looked at her blankly.
"Peppers?"Willow echoed as she stared at Eugenia. Maybe there was something in air 'cause she was missing something."We're not talking about high school and peppers. We're talking about Cordelia's version of high school and-."
At the same time, Lawrence turned to stare at his sister."Did the pillock make your mind into mush, Eugenia?"
"Hi, is everybody still waiting for Buffy?"a voice softly demanded. Lawrence and Willow winced as they looked behind him.
Willow turned to give him a bright smile."Hey, Owen. Whatcha doing here? I thought you were looking around for stuff with Faith and Amy."
"I was, then I saw Mr.Summers and he said something about getting Buffy so that he could treat her to a snack,"Owen said with a shrug."A brunch thing as they walk around. Is she ready?"
"Thurman! There you are!"shouted out Hank Summers cheerfully as he came over to the small group."Hello,everyone. Nana. Is Buffy ready yet? Does everyone here know Thurman?"
"She somewhat is, if she would stop twisting my father around her little finger,"Eugenia said cheerfully as she quickly rose from her seat."I'll go get her."
Hank Summers looked at Eugenia's quickly retreating back with a growing scowl. He started to follow her as he said in an annoyed voice,"Maybe I should go get Buffy and untwist Mr.Giles from her little finger."
[Uh-oh. Don't think that'd be a good idea,]thought Willow as she smiled brightly at Buffy's father."Well, I went to high school with-uh, Owen."
Not liking the gleam in his eye, Willow smiled even more brightly as she turned to follow Eugenia. "You know what? I think I'll follow Eugenia to got get-"
"You've known him since high school?"Hank asked her a bit enthusiastically."Wonderful, then you know all of the fine qualities that Thurman here has, Willa."
"Willow,"said Willow automatically correcting him."It's Willow. And I-"
Hank gave her correction a dismissive nod. He was a man with a mission."Right. You know all of the great qualities that Thurman here has. Especially since Buffy dated him once. So then you can tell Nana Bethie and young Giles here the good qualities in Thurman while I go get Buffy."
"Well, I-"Willow started uneasily."That is-"
"Mr.Summers,"Owen started again."I really didn't know Willow that well, and she doesn't know me that well. And I really don't want to talk-"
"Really? Then you should tell her about yourself right now, while I go get Buffy,"Hank started as he patted the younger man's shoulder."In fact you could get together now and let her know your finer qualities while I go get Buffy-"
Nana Bethie sighed loudly."Will you please take your unending prattle to the other side of the room, idiot? I have a headache. Willow, Lawrence. You both shall accompany them."
"Me?"Willow squeaked."Why me? I don't-"
Lawrence started,"Lady Atherton, I really-"
Nana Bethie gave Willow and Lawrence a glare that matched Giles's, and they both caved in. Willow sighed as she pasted on a smile. "Yes, ma'am. Let's go there where there are a bunch of chairs and we can see where Buffy is coming out from."
As Willow led the two men away,Nana Bethie looked at Lawrence. "This minor contact with the idiot should clear up any and all questions that you have about the mischief that has been going on in the past two weeks that the idiot has been here.
Nana Bethie gave him a small smile."You are young, Lawrence. Your patience with the idiot should last a minute longer than Rupert's. Just keep him from the company of your father. I have no doubt that Thomas would dot the idiot once he stays with him for a minute. Now go."
His face still showing puzzlement, Lawrence rose to follow Willow, Hank and Owen. Nana Bethie covered her eyes with her hand."Peace at last. Oh, my heavens, peace at last."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Thomas Giles looked at Buffy expectantly. Buffy stared back at him with a small pout."Please?"
Taking a deep breath and determined to be firm with her, Thomas said softly."No."
"But-"
"No. Put them back, Elizabeth,"Thomas Giles said with a shake of his head."You do not need them."
Buffy held them up to his face."But they look good on me and-"
"No."
"But-"
"Why?"
"Because.
Thomas Giles steeled himself as Buffy looked at him with a pleading little girl face. He took another deep breath, determined to curtail her shopping. He opened his mouth and heard himself say to her,"Well, I suppose that we can get one more dress, Elizabeth."
Buffy gave him a beaming smile as she grabbed a dress and shot into the dressing room. Buffy popped her head out from the fitting room door, and beamed him s smile as she pointed to a set of mannequins sitting just to the side of the door."You can sit right here, Grandpa."
As he made himself comfortable at the foot of a mannequin display, Thomas Giles looked up at the ceiling and groaned in despair. "Lord, what have I done?"
A chuckle answered him."You gave into a huge pair of hazel eyes, Father. That's what you did."
Thomas Giles looked at his daughter, the one that looked so much like her mother."You could have rescued me, Eugenia."
His daughter just laughed."No, Father. Admit it, you enjoy making her spoilt. And so does that turd, even if he is starting to get on my nerves. Now I know why Dante always says a spell for turd tolerance before he sees him."
"What is he doing now?"
"Annoying Lady Atherton, who does *not* say a spell for turd tolerance whatsoever,"Eugenia laughed as she sat next to her father."So how many dresses are you buying for her?"
"EUGENIA!!! GET ELIZABETH OUT HERE NOW!!!"hollered Lawrence as he marched quickly towards the dressing room."EUGENIA! Where-oh, here you are!"
At Lawrence's shout, Thomas shot up and glared at his younger son,"Lawrence! There is no need for you to be shouting-"
"I beg you pardon, Father, but YOU haven't spent the past three minutes with the turd,"Lawrence growled savagely. He looked at his sister with distinct admiration."Now I know why you had that look on your face as you got out of the limo."
"Buffy! Buffy!"Willow shouted as she came barreling towards the fitting room."Buffy! You get out here right now!"
Buffy shot out of the dressing room, dress in hand."What, Willow? What is it?"
Willow panted as she looked at her best friend,"Amy's gonna turn the turd-I mean your dad, into a rat or something permanently if you don't get there soon!"
"Not again!!"Buffy groaned as she sped towards where her father was, trailing after Willow.
Shaking his head, Thomas muttered,"This should be interesting."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Giles blearily looked at his drinking companions. Xander had his head on the table and snoring with Whistler braiding his hair as he talked to the fourteen whiskey, gin, scotch, tequila and vodka bottles that were lined up all in a row. Angel was crooning an Irish ballad in Gaelic to a snoring Oz's elbow and Spike was adding his usual snide commentary to the songs.
He shook his head at the drinking abilities of his companions. He looked at Angel."I think we elum-elit-got rid of two comput-compit-compat-"
With alcohol glazed eyes, Whistler looked at Giles and burped loudly."Jeez, you really can't speak those big word while drunk can you, Tweed?"
"I ass-assure that I can,"Giles sniffed at him."It just takes me longer to say them. Anyways, there's only the four of us now."
"Righto, Tweed. So bottom's up,"Spike said as he drank some vodka straight from the bottle."Let's see who'd last."
Giles nodded so hard he almost knocked his head on the table. "Right. So pass that bottle. Here's to the English!"
"May they all drown in their own piss water!"Angel toasted as h downed his drink. Spike and Giles turned to glare at him."What? My da taught me to say that, and a man does not go against what his da says."
Whistler shook his head."And, to think, I used to think that you had a brain behind that huge forehead of yours."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Hanging up the phone, Joyce sighed as she looked at Grandfather James."Well, it looks like Rupert is still in the lounge with the boys. And from what Scott is saying, they're still having their little contest."
Puzzled, Grandfather James asked her,"What are they having a contest about?"
Joyce rolled her eyes."Who's going to drink who under the table. It's been one of Angel's more favorite pastimes since Hank got here, ohhh, about three weeks ago."
"Why do I feel that there's a story behind this?"Grandfather James asked with mock suspicion.
"Because, according to Dante, anything to do with the turd, there usually is,"laughed Joyce as she made another phone call."I'll tell you the story as soon as I make a few more phone calls to the florist and caterer. And as soon as I make sure that Dante is still knocked out."
"Why? Is the story that dangerous to know?"Grandfather James asked amused.
Joyce shook her head as she heard the phone ring."Only to Hank. And I'd rather not have Dante change Hank into a roach or something just before the wedding, we've had enough trouble with Hank as an artichoke. Besides, I've promised Rupert that he could beat Hank's head in. The only person that can beat his head in before the wedding would be Buffy, and I sincerely doubt that could happen anytime soon. And I'm starting to have a craving for chocolate. Do you have-"
"Say no more. Let's see if we can locate Eugenia's supply,"said Grandfather James as he lead the way to Eugenia's and Dante's suite."Ever since she's married Dante, she seems to have gotten a sweet tooth."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Hank Summers glared down at his daughter's friend as her eyes turned black with anger."Young lady, you might think that you know my daughter, when in fact I know more about my daughter that you could know about her-"
Amy's eyes grew darker as she snarled at him."You know nothing about me, about Faith, about Willow or any of us! You especially know nothing about Buffy! Or about how she feels about Angel! And from what I hear, you've been fighting her on this wedding at every turn, you turd!"
"I know my daughter,"Hank said as he gritted his teeth."And I have been helping her get ready for this wedding!"
Amy was about to retort something when Willow suddenly ran up and grabbed her arm. Willow hissed."Amy! Don't you dare turn him into a rat!"
"HAH!" "Cordelia snorted as her hands came to her hips. Her hazel eyes narrowed at him."Helping to stop the wedding maybe, but definitely NOT helping! YOU haven't even helped get Buffy ready for this wedding since she and Angel announced their engagement!"
Willow pulled Cordelia away from Hank."Cordelia!"
"And B is way too happy to have her dad a.k.a The Idiot Turd here to say anything,"Faith added as her fists clenched."And Angel's too Buffy-whipped to say anything about you trying to put wimpy Thurman onto Buffy."
Thurman scowled at Faith."Hey! I'm not a wimpy!"
"Shut up, wimp before I knock you on your ass,"Faith snarled at him, her fists clenched.
"You're so lucky that you're a girl,"Owen said through gritted teeth."Else I'd pop you one."
Faith grinned and her eyes gleamed wildly at him."I'd like to see you try it...wimp."
Hank looked at the two as Cordelia grabbed her Faith's arm and pulled her away from Owen."Down, girl. We promised Buffy's mom. No flying fists until after the wedding."
Faith scowled at Cordelia,"You know it's dangerous to be spoiling my fun?"
Cordelia's eyes narrowed."And do you know dangerous it is to tease my Xander?"
Hank started to get in between them."Now, girls-"
Cordelia glared at Buffy's father."Oh, buzz off. It's all your fault anyway, you turd."
Hank stared at the girl as if she as insane,"What do mean that I'm the cause of all of this? Are you nuts?"
Faith pushed Hank away from Cordelia."Hey, no one picks on the beauty queen unless you're one of the Scooby gang, and you're not in it. And she's right, you are the one that started this whole mess-"
Hank scowled at her."I don't think that I like your implications young lady! In fact, I don't think that I like any of you girls being friends with Buffy."
"As if you have a choice in the matter, idiot,"called out a voice. Hank turned to glare at Nana Bethie who rapped his head with her cane."Say one word against Elizabeth's friends to Elizabeth, and you will be clocked in the head so hard that you shall not wake up in time for the wedding. And you will cease antagonizing Elizabeth's friends. You will cease talking about the virtues of Thurman, and you will cease giving me a headache. If you do not, I will take certain measures that you will regret. Is that clear?"
Nana Bethie and Hank looked at each other, and Hank finally looked away."It's clear."
"Owen Thurman, you shall keep away from Elizabeth if you know what's good for you,"Nana Bethie ordered. Owen nodded."If you don't Angel shall rip your head from your shoulders if you are anywhere near her."
Nana Bethie nodded, then looked at Elizabeth's friends."And you girls shall hold your temper against the idiot. Its not his fault that he's stupid."
"Hey!"Hank started to protest. Then stopped when he saw Nana Bethie grip her cane."Never mind."
Nana Bethie then glared at the girls."Buffy's wedding to Angel is tomorrow night, I will not allow anymore mayhem to happen before the wedding. Is that clear?"
Amy and Cordelia nodded their heads."Perfectly."
Then Amy pinched Faith's arm hard. Faith turned to scowl at her."What? Yeah, it's clear. No getting on the idiot's nerves."
"Good,"Nana Bethie nodded her head with satisfaction, then stopped. And her hand slapped her head, and groaned."Oh no. I think that I may have spoken too soon about that."
Buffy skidded to a halt as she met the small arguing group."Hey, Dad. Guys. What was all the shouting about?"
Nana Bethie smiled at her great-granddaughter as she took her towards the counter."Nothing at all. Now we must get back to the resort. I had a flash of something happening, but I'm not sure what exactly. So let's have your five frocks paid for and be on our way."
Buffy moaned as she followed her nana to the counter."Oh, man. Now things are happening in the daylight? Jeez, Angel and I should have just eloped!"
"And you know that I would have never forgiven you if that happened, honey,"said Hank as he pinched her nose."Now, let's get your dresses all paid for-"
"Soon to be all taken cared of,"said Thomas Giles as he patted his wallet."The sales clerk took Elizabeth's frocks and is ready to give me the total."
Hank gave the much older man a tight smile."Really? But I insist, I must pay since for Buffy's dresses, since I am her father and you're not really related to my daughter."
Horrified by what her father said, Buffy stared at him."Dad-"
"But I am her surrogate grandfather,"Thomas said with a militant gleam in his eye."And I believe that it's my duty as a grandfather to spoil her."
Buffy stared at Grandpa Giles."Grandpa-"
"And I'm her father, so I say that it's quite unnecessary for you to spoil here when I'm here,"Hank said firmly."I know what my daughter needs and what she likes."
"Daddy,"Buffy started again."I-"
Cordelia snorted,"That is such a-OW! What the hell was that pinch for? What is your ailment?"
As Cordelia glared at a red-faced Willow, Nana Bethie smiled sweetly at the two men."Shut up both of you. Her grand-uncles are paying for her dresses. But you may pay for the accessories that she will need for tonight. Now let us be off!"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Then after Angel and Rupert came searching for another bottle with Oz, still in werewolf form, mind you, at their drunken heels, Hank decided to come with Buffy and me, "Joyce said through a mouthful of chocolate as Grandfather James shook his head in amazement. "Oh, yes. Then to make matters worse, I tripped, Hank caught me before I fell and that's when Rupert and the boys entered the house. So, Rupert added two and two then came up with six."
"I see,"Grandfather James with a laugh."Did Rupert land a facer on the turd?"
Joyce shook his head."No, but Liam did. And let me tell you he was *not* pleased that Hank was about to punch me."
"WHAT?"Grandfather James shouted incredulously.
"THE TURD WAS ABOUT TO DO WHAT?"
Joyce looked up sheepishly."That sort of came out wrong..."
Dante lifted a regal eyebrow at her."Then tell me the parts where your story came out wrong, Jack. Especially where the turd was about to punch you by accident."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Leaning heavily on the table, Giles lifted one eye open."Are you going to give up now?"
"The day an English defeats an Irishman in drinking is that day I drop down dead,"Angel slurred as he downed his drink, and nearly toppled over his seat."Up yours!"
Spike burped loudly."The hair gel you've been using must've fried your brains. You are dead, you poof."
"Oh, yeah. That's right,"Angel said morosely. Then he brightened. "But I'm alive everywhere else especially under my-"
"No need to say that your willie's alive,"Whistler said as he drunkenly tried to slap a hand over Angel's mouth, getting Angel's ear instead."We're not interested in it. Trust me, we're really not interested in it."
"Oh, right,"Angel nodded. Then he looked at Whistler."Why not?"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"I'm going to change him."
"Dante-"
"I mean it. I'm really going to change him this time-"
"Dante! Stop it this instant!"Joyce ordered as she stomped her foot. Dante stared at her impassively. She looked at Grandfather James for help."Grandfather James-"
Grandfather James lifted a hand."In this case, I agree with Dante. The man is trying to ruin Elizabeth's wedding! He changed the boys into animals AND tried to punch you-"
"It was an accident!"Joyce all but wailed."Can't you boys just wait until after the wedding?"
"No,"Dante said flatly, then he lifted his head. And strode towards the door."Gene and the girls are back."
"Dante!"Joyce hollered as she went after him.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"That's it, I'm leaving,"Spike announced as he wobbled on to his feet."If the poofing Nancy-boy here is wondering why we men aren't wondering about his weenie, I'm going to make like a cow and moo on."
"Moo on? What the hell does that mean?"Giles demanded as he rose unsteadily to his feet as well."But if it means leaving, I'm all for it."
Whistler blinked as he rose to his feet and stepped over Oz."I second whatever he said. Angel, you dumb ass, you sure know how to break up a party."
"Then I win,"Angel smirked as he downed his drink."The Irishman wins the drinking party."
Giles blinked at him."The hell you did."
"I did."Angel smirked as he pointed at the three males."You guys are leaving, so I win."
Spike glared at him through bleary eyes as grabbed a bottle."The hell you did. I'll show you who can drink-HEY! This bottle's empty. Bartender! Gimme some more scotch!"
Scott Hope came up to the four men, his face wrinkled in distaste as the strong smell of alcohol reached his nostrils."I think that you four have had enough-"
"Are you saying that you ain't gonna give us some more, you little pissant?"Whistler demanded as he tried to grab the boy's shirt and missed.
"That's exactly what I'm saying,"Scott said firmly."You had enough for now and-"
Angel loomed drunkenly over the boy."And what?"
Scott gulped as he tried to control the urge to run. Far. As fast as he could from the man that was about to marry Buffy."And if Buffy finds all of you in this condition, she'll kill me."
"So you think that the Blonde Babe will kill you for letting us drink?"Spike grinned at him."Is that right?"
Scott nodded slowly. Spike then looked at him."Are you agreeing that she'll kill you for letting us get drink or that she's a Blonde Babe?"
"Who's a Blonde Babe?"Angel demanded through narrow eyes as he looked at Spike. Then at Scott."Do you think that she's a babe?"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Buffy remained silent as her father and Grandpa Giles glared at each other."Will you two stop with the looks? You're starting to give me a headache."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, my dear,"Grandpa Giles said softly as he patted her hand. He glared at Hank again."There seems to be a bit of a rather nasty habit for the moment. Must be the faint odor of artichoke in here."
Looking suspiciously at the elderly man, Hank smiled thinly as he patted her head."Sorry, honey. It's just been a long morning so far. Especially if you're spending time with people that aren't your family. Do you want Thurman to get you anything?"
Buffy gave her father a thin smile."Dad, I don't think-"
"This Thurman fellow seems to be your solution for everything, including a cure for Elizabeth's wedding,"Thomas Giles commented with a glare. Hank looked at the older man with a glare."A pity that you weren't paying attention to her enough that you couldn't provide the cure for her heart ailment earlier."
As Buffy shook her head, Amy whispered to Willow,"And it's getting longer by the minute."
"Oh, yeah. Too bad there isn't a spell that we can make everyone love one another until the wedding. Or at least tolerate each other,"Willow whispered back with a sigh. Amy looked at Buffy's father thoughtfully.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sweating, Scott stammered as he tried to think of a way to answer hat loaded question."Well, you see, I-Well-"
"Buffy's the blonde babe,"Whistler said drunkenly as he pointed at Scott."He said so."
Angel's brow lowered."Scott said that Buffy's a blonde babe?"
"I didn't exactly say that Buffy was a blonde babe,"Scott blurted out as he took a step back. Frowning, Angel stepped forward, his throat growling.
"So then you think that Buffy's not a babe?"
"I didn't say that,"Scott blurted as he took another step back."Not exactly."
"Then you *do* think that Buffy's a babe,"Angel growled as he took a step forward.
"He's not saying that, Angel,"said Giles as he shook his head. Something was wrong, but for the life of him, he didn't know what it was."He was saying that he was agreeing that Buffy was a something or other."
Angel looked at Giles, then he glared dangerously at Scott."You think that Buffy's a *something*?"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Dante rushed down to the lobby with Joyce and Grandfather James at his heels. His brow lowered as he contemplated what to do with the turd. Granted, he wasn't happy that Buffy was marrying a vampire, but hell. It was Buffy's life and she deserved a little bit of happiness. She was the Slayer after all. And Jack deserved some, too, even if it was in the form of a tweeded rebel called Rupert Theodore Giles. But if it was the Tweedman that made her happy, then by the gods, the turd should leave them alone."Annoy my family? I don't think so!"
Joyce bit her lip as she rushed after Dante. She had a bad feeling about this. If Dante was muttering to himself, this was *not* a good sign. The last time he was muttering something to himself was when she told him that she decided to marry Rupert. She just hoped she could stop him before he disrupted the wedding plans anymore."To quote Buffy, this is so *not* good."
Grinning as he followed his grandson-in-law down the stairs, Grandfather James shouted,"Charge!"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Buffy scrambled out of the limo and into the Seaside Resort, with everyone following her with alacrity. She did *not* want to hear more of the stupid argument between her dad and Grandpa Giles. Her dad and Amy. Her dad and Willow. Or her dad and anyone else for that matter.
"Buffy, honey,"Hank Summer called out as he entered the resort."I think that you're being awfully childish about this idea-"
Buffy swung around and stared at him, incredulous."You're telling me that I'm being childish?"
"You leave Elizabeth alone!"shouted Thomas Giles, his face red with fury."You may be her father-"
Hank swung back to shout back at the man."That's right I am her father and if I think that she should-"
"You can't yell at Grandpa Giles like that,"Amy shouted, her eyes turning darker.
Hank glared at the girl."You keep out of this argument, young lady. This is not between you and me."
Buffy glared at her father angrily."Dad! That's not the way to talk to my friends!"
"What's going on?"Thurman asked as he quickly approached the small group. Nana Bethie, Faith, Cordelia, Lawrence and Eugenia were still getting out of the limo.
Willow glared at Thurman."This is all our fault, Owen."
"My fault? What did I do?"Owen demanded.
Willow glared at him."You exist."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"You think that Buffy's a something?"Angel demanded. Scott took one look and yelped as he sped out the door.
"YOU THINK THAT BUFFY'S A *SOMETHING*?!?"Angel ran after the boy.
"Oh, god. Not again!"Giles groaned as Angel took off.
Whistler shook his head."I can't handle this. Do we have to go after him?"
"Let the poof eat the ass. It'll serve him right if he gets indigestion,"Spike announced as he sat back down. He patted his chest for a cigarette and matches."And Slayer's not here to stop Peaches from making an ass out of himself and burning into a crisp in the sun. Anyone got a smoke?"
As Spike crowed with delight in finding a cigarette, Giles and Whistler looked at each other, then drunkenly ran after the vampire."Angel!"
As the two ran out, Spike shook Oz awake."Hey, Wolf boy! You got a light?"
Oz looked blearily up at Spike."What? Yeah, sure. Where am I?"
"You're still in the lounge and Angel's off to eat that ex-man of the Slayer's,"Spike said as he lit the cigarette."Tweed and the Annoying Panser went to stop him."
"Oh, that's nice,"Oz said as he was about to go to sleep again. Then his head lifted abruptly, causing the little men in his head to pound on it harder. Cautiously, he sniffed the air again. And again."Ow. Damn."
Spike looked at Oz curiously."What? Got a bug up your nose?"
"Nope. Willow's pissed,"Oz said as he rose slowly and weaved towards the door."And she's ready to zap someone."
Spike blinked, then grinned as he followed Oz."Oh, good. I just love violence in the daylight hours."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Breathing heavily, Joyce saw Dante and Grandfather James disappear at the corner. Thinking fast, she raced towards an emergency exit."If I can't keep up, I'll just head them off at the pass."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Thurman glared at Willow."How the hell could I cause a problem just be existing?"
"Because if you weren't here, then Buffy's dad wouldn't get the asinine idea that Buffy's marrying too young to a drunken, unstable and superstitious Irishman that can't take care of his daughter!" Willow shouted at him, her fists raised. She felt the energy in her starting to gather."I think that you oughtta-"
"And I think that you're nuts if you're blaming all this on me!"Thurman shouted back at her. He stepped forward, towering over her."In fact-"
Cordelia started over towards Thurman and Willow."Hey! You leave the little witch alone you overgrown-"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Exiting from the limo she was in, Nana Bethie shook her head as she looked at the argument brewing in the lobby. She started over towards the warring groups."I don't like the looks of this."
"We'd better stop this,"Eugenia said as she followed Nana Bethie with Lawrence.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Joyce raced into the lobby, delighted that she made it there before Dante and Grandfather James. She headed towards Buffy and Hank, noting with annoyance that Hank was trying again to control Buffy."Buffy! Hank!"
Hank glared down at his daughter."Buffy, I am your father and I only want the best for you-"
Buffy interrupted him. "Then let me-"
"I think that you should mind your own business,"Thomas Giles shouted at Hank."In fact-"
Breathless, Joyce raced up to Hank and Buffy."Buffy! Hank! Stop arguing this minute!"
"Help! BUFFY, HELP! HELP!"Scott shouted as he plowed into Buffy, throwing her into Thurman and Willow, knocking them to the ground."You gotta help me! Angel's drunk and he's after me!"
"Buffy!"Joyce cried as Buffy fell to the ground, Willow landing on top of her daughter, Scott on top of Willow and Thurman under Buffy."Sweetie, are you all right?"
Hank watched as a young man plowed into his daughter, knocking her down. Along with Thurman and Willow. He knelt to pick her up."Buffy! Honey, are you all right?"
"I'm good, Dad."Buffy winced as she rose from the floor, with the aid of Owen. Still leaning against Owen slightly, she bent to look at Willow, who was still on the floor."You okay, Will? Scott? What's going on?"
Before Willow or Scott could answer, the small group heard a roar.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Stopping suddenly, Angel let out a roar when he saw Scott plow into Buffy, knocking Willow down and throwing her into the arms of Thurman. The prime choice of Buffy's father."HEY! GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY BUFFY!"
Time froze as Angel raced towards the small group.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Right behind Angel, Giles and Whistler emerged from the side entrance to see Angel race towards a downed Scott, Buffy, Willow and Owen. They both turned when they heard a howl from behind them, then a figure speed by them.
"HEY! THAT'S MY MATE YOU KNOCKED DOWN!"roared Oz as he raced towards the foursome, right behind Angel.
Giles and Whistler looked at each other then raced after Angel and Oz."Angel! Oz! Stop!"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Scott's eyes exploded as Angel's fist plowed into his face. Then he felt himself thrown into the air. Landing hard with a grunt. Not even thinking and thanking the gods he was alive, he rose off the floor and ran the opposite direction he thought Angel was at.
Oz plowed into Scott as he was racing to get away from Angel."Get back here and fight like a man!"
Willow started after Oz."Oz! Stop!"
"Oh, this is just neat,"Spike giggled as he saw the commotion happening in the lobby.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Hank Summers froze as he saw an enraged Angel come towards his little girl. He stepped in front of her as he spread his arms out wide, accidently hitting Joyce in the face."Stop Angel! You keep away from Buffy!"
Fire burned through Dante as he saw Hank smack his Jack in the face."SUMMERS!"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Giles roared when he saw Hank smack his wife. He raced over towards the small group, fists already formed."YOU PONCER!"
Hank turned to see a fist fly towards his jaw. Then he felt himself being lifted off the ground, and thrown down. Hard. Dazed he looked up to see Angel's half-brother or whatever, Spike snarl at him. "You little pissant! Smack me Mum will you?"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Oh, man!"Faith groaned as she stood still, not sure of where to go."Do we stop the fights or do we join in?"
After giving her a quick smack upside her head, Amy shouted at her."You go and stop Angel! Cordelia, you help the turd! I'll go after Oz!"
"Why do I have to do the shit work?"Cordelia complained as she raced towards Hank, Spike, Mrs.G and Giles."Hey! Spike! Drop that turd!"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
With a snarl, Oz let another fist fly into Scott's face as Willow flung herself at her husband."Oz! Stop! Stop!"
Oz turned catch Willow into his arms when a bolt of light went past him. Both of then turned to see Amy standing behind them, then they looked down. And saw a chocolate bar where Scott used to be. They looked back up at Amy who shrugged."Hey, I figured, that he'd be easier to keep track of than a rat or artichoke."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Spike formed a fist and was about to smash the pissant's face in when he felt a soft hand covering his fist."Liam! Don't! Not until after the wedding!"
Hank felt himself pulled up from the floor and looked to see the furious eyes of his ex-wife's husband. Then he saw another fist coming at him. And felt a burst of pain in his gut.
"You little son of a bitch!"snarled Giles as he rammed another fist into the other man's stomach."Slap MY* wife will you?"
Thomas Giles cheered his oldest son on."That's it Rupert! Dot that panser silly!"
"Giles! You kill the turd and Buffy'll be crying at the wedding and look terrible for her wedding pictures!"Cordelia shouted. Thomas Giles turned to stare at her."What? Like I *really* want to help turds get away with crap!"
Giles was about lay in another one when he felt his hand held back and saw the small hand that held it. The hand that wore the wedding band. Calming slightly, he looked at the bruised face of his wife as she threw herself at him."After the wedding! Rupert, you promised!"
"Did you get to land a facer for me, Rupert?"Grandfather James demanded as he wheezed by his grandson. Giles was about to answer when a flash of black lightening exploded in front of them.
When the light cleared, Dante was standing before them looking very satisfied."This ought to teach you that you shouldn't smack Jack around."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Owen yelped as he was lifted high off the ground."Lemme go! Lemme go! Lemme go!"
"Touch MY woman will you?"Angel roared as he threw Owen against the wall. Angel was about to go after him when he was grabbed by the back of his neck and thrown away from Thurman. Stunned, he was flipped on to his stomach. Dazed, he felt a soft and familiar body sit on his back.
Buffy shouted at Faith as she sat quickly on Angel."Faith! Get Owen out of here!"
"Gotcha B!"Faith shouted as she hauled Owen up to his feet."What you want me to with him?"
As Angel struggled to get up from under her, Buffy shouted back at her, "I don't care! Just get rid of him until the wedding tomorrow night! Angel, you stop wiggling or else I'm gonna give you another wedgie!"
"I'm gonna spank you for this, honey,"Angel growled into the carpet."Just you wait!"
"Promises, promises!"Buffy teased back cautiously.
"Amy! Here! Zap him!"Faith shouted as she threw Owen towards her room mate.
Amy turned and a bolt of light flashed from her fingers. When the light cleared, Amy winked as she blew on her fingers like a gunfighter.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Eugenia ran to the arms of her husband."Dante! You said that you would behave!"
"I tried,"Dante said unrepentantly."But the turd smacked Joyce. See? She's already getting a bruise on her cheek!"
Giles frowned as he turned his wife face towards him. Spike growled dangerously as Joyce winced."It was an accident. He was trying to stop Angel from going after Buffy."
"A stupid thing to do, if you ask me,"Faith said as she nodded over towards Angel and Buffy, who were still in the same position on the lobby floor."Think that you can let him up, B."
Buffy cautiously rose off of Angel's back. Oz nodded as he held Willow close to him."Very stupid. As stupid as knocking Willow on the ground."
"So now what?"Amy said as she tossed Scott the Chocolate bar in her hand."We have Scott as a chocolate bar-"
"Owen as a book,"Willow sighed as she flipped through his pages. "Of very bad poetry. 'Roses are red, Violets are blue. I adore Buffy, this is all true.' Bad poetry."
"What did he write?"Angel roared. Then yelped. He turned to glared at Buffy as he rubbed the back of his head."Give him to me...I'll rip his pages out..."
Buffy glared at him."You're being surly. Stop it."
Angel was about to say something when Nana Bethie shook her head as she cautiously approached the now calm lobby, and sighed."I suppose, children, that there's a good explanation for this? Joyceln? Elizabeth? Rupert? Angel?"
Angel looked at Giles and then they pointed down at Hank Summers. "The turd started it."
Joyce rolled her eyes and was about to say something when Buffy's eyes widened as she looked down."What happened to my father?!? Who changed my father into a soccer ball?"
Everyone looked at Dante, who sniffed at them. Buffy stared at him."Uncle Dante! You changed my dad into a SOCCER BALL?!?"
Dante looked at his god-daughter and shrugged."Look at it this way, this is our one chance to kick the turd around and not get it on our feet."
"This is getting ridiculous,"Cordelia muttered."Buffy, hurry up and get married before your dad get a one way ticket to Looney Tunes Land."
Spike picked Hank up, and grinned as he tossed Hank the Soccer ball from one hand to another."In the mean time, anyone up for a game of football?"
Buffy narrowed her eyes at him.”Spike, you’d better put my father down…”
“Okay,”Spike said pleasantly as he placed Hank down on the ground then kicked it with all his might. Hank the Soccer Ball ricocheted off the ceiling, then off the wall and into an adjoining hall. He grinned at the openmouthed Slayer.”He’s down.”
“Nice kick,”Dante drawled as he watched Hank bounce away. Buffy stared at him while Eugenia smacked him on the shoulder. He winced.”If we promise to play nice, how about a game?”
“How about just a potted plant?”Oz asked. Willow stared at him, then hurriedly lead him towards the nearest bathroom Joyce looked at her husband. Giles smiled weakly then quickly followed Oz with Joyce following him.
Angel smirked as he saw Oz and Giles leave.”I win.”
“You win what?”Buffy demanded as she poked at his stomach. She poked him again. Harder. ”Well?“
“I won the drinking contest,”Angel told her. Then he ran over towards the nearest potted plant and started retching.
Nana Bethie simply rolled her eyes and sighed.”So who’s going to get the idiot back?”
“I’ll get him,”Whistler grinned as sauntered over towards the corridor.”And tell Angel that I won the bet.”
Fin~