Interlude: A Little Problem
Summary: It's now 9 days and 18 hours to the wedding. The Scooby gang gathers around and discuss a slight problem about the betting pool and Buffy’s dad.
Disclaimer: Render unto Joss and the big wigs what is theirs and leave me to my weird sense of humor and insane imaginings. Ohh, where is my little jacket with the straps on the back?
Note: Feedback Please! And place your bets...
Title: A Little Problem
"Damn! This betting pool has become a bust!"Faith said as she threw her stake up in the air, then caught it again."I mean, neither Angel or Giles has punched out Hank yet."
"Giles came close to it last night,"Willow said as she looked up from her book."He looked ready to murder when Buffy and Buffy's mom came into the library laughing with her dad."
"Yeah, but you and Xander said that doesn't count since he *really* didn't deck him,"Faith groused."Since the G-man only pushed him away hard from Buffy's mom. And then *she* had to ruin it by kissing the G-man silly. Man, never thought those lips of hers could work some magic."
"Well, Buffy nearly decked Hank three days ago,"Xander said as he came out from the library office."In the cemetery while she and Angel were patrolling. Cordy and I saw it as we passed by."
"Yeah, but Angel stopped the punch when he realized who it was,"Cordelia grumbled."Do we *really* have to catalogue these books? I mean, aren't they catalogued already?"
Faith snorted."So did Angel take a try at punching out Hank yet? And did Buffy's mom deck him yet either?"
Oz shrugged."Angel's a bit antsy and snappy and all round frustrated. But he's been taking out his hormonal angst on the local vamps. Unfortunately, there hasn't been many of them around, so he's been beating up the punching bag in his gym. It's the third one that he's replace so far. Wonder if he’ll take his frustrations out on Whistler?"
Cordelia looked up from her book.”When is that little demon going to show up anyway? It’s almost a week to the wedding, and I still have to do some last minute planning on his tux!”
Ox shrugged.“Angel said he’d be here or else he’d beat the crap out of him. Wasn’t quite sure if it was him talking or the frustration. He’s really starting to lose it. Getting *real* violent. Lucky vamps, they can all hide. We’re the ones that have to deal with a cranky vamp and horny Slayer.”
"Tell me about it! Buffy's been beating the tar out of me in the training sessions. I think that she's on the critical point,"Faith laughed."When I came in the library few days ago, Buffy was chasing Angel around the library! He was throwing everything in her path and climbing all over the place."
"Why was she chasing him?'
Faith looked at Willow slyly."From what I heard when I came in, he shouted,'You're not helping! You're supposed to stay on that side of the table! No! Don’t take that off!' And he said it *really* loud, then there was silence, and then a crash. When I came in, Angel was on the floor with Buffy over him. He saw me, threw her off and then hid behind me. I paid for the interruption during training."
Giggling, Willow shook her head."No wonder that Buffy said that he now refuses to be alone with her. He's *really* trying to keep his promise. But who knows for how long? Buffy’s so mad at him for keeping his promise that she’s been wearing clothes a size smaller than usual."
Faith’s eyes widened, then snorted in laughter.”And here I thought that she’d done the laundry wrong again! Oh, man! We should’ve made the pool on how soon he’d break instead of who’d punch her dad out! Think he’ll break?”
Oz shrugged,”Depends. How many times have we broken them up from liplocking is far? I know I caught them at least six times. Will came in on them at least nine.”
“I like my ears too much to even try to break them up. Once was fine with me,”Xander said wisely.” Especially if they’re in a cemetery and determined to *be* lip locked...or something like that.”
“Something like that?”Willow asked curiously.”You mean you caught them doing more than a lip lock?”
Xander looked at Willow, then at Oz.”As in being pelvic? Close but not. Hey Oz, was it more like a rampaging, hormonal Slayer after hide-and-seek in the cemetery vamp? Or was it-”
“Better stop the thought, Xander, else we’re liable to get hurt. Buff’s line of control isn’t all that’s there,”Oz shrugged.”Alone, Angel’ll hold, but if Buffy’s gonna go after him like what she’s doing now with the clothes and hunting, he’ll break...”
"He'll break,"Cordelia snorted delicately."He'll break before the wedding, I can guarantee it. With a little help from Buffy...he'll break."
"Who'll break?"Buffy asked curiously as she came into the library with Giles and her mother.
"Well, ah...you're here!"Cordelia stammered."What are you doing here?"
Buffy looked at the other girl cautiously."Because we're supposed to meet you guys here? And Giles works here? And because everyone is supposed to be here for the Scooby gang meeting? Why else would we be here?"
Cordelia gave Buffy a look."Well, since you put it *that* way, I suppose you should be here."
"So gracious of you,"Giles said dryly."Are all those books catalogued yet?"
Willow shook her head."Not yet, we've got at least ten more to go. I figure that we'll be done in the next day or so...any emergency concerning the wedding not with standing. So...why are we all here? 'Cause we've gotta get Oz caged soon."
"Oh, right, full moon. Well, gather around because it seems that we have a slight problem going on,"Giles said as he pushed up his glasses. As Faith and Buffy sat on the table, Willow and Oz took seats on their left with Xander and Cordelia on their right. When Giles looked at Joyce, she merely smiled and put her hand into his and stood by him.
Clearing his throat, Giles began,"It seems that Buffy's father is becoming a bit, ah, suspicious of our actions..."
"What actions? We're just Buffy's friends that are participating in her wedding, that's all,"Faith frowned."And the Slaying, planning and-"
"And he's getting a bit suspicious about Angel,"Joyce said as she shot her daughter an apologetic look."In fact, the other day he was considering hiring a private detective to find out about Angel. Before the wedding. And if he finds out about something, he’s planning to stop it."
As Buffy stared at her mother with an open mouth, Angel shouted as he came into the library from the stacks. He flew down the stirs to confront the two adults."What?!? He wanted to do what? And he wants to do what?!?"
Joyce winced at Angel's tone."He wanted to hire a detective to look into your background...mainly because he doesn't think that you're good enough for her. So he’d rather call off the wedding than have Buffy marry you."
"Mom! When did Daddy say this?"Buffy demanded."Where was I when he said this to you? Daddy can’t call off the wedding can he?”
Angel swung to look at Buffy. “Like hell he’s calling off the wedding! And what are you wearing? You’re half dressed! Where’s the rest of that top? And why is that skirt so short?”
Buffy rolled her eyes.”Keep your mind on the subject, Angel and pick on my clothes later. Mom, Dad can’t stop the wedding, can he? And when did he mention this detective thing to you?”
"No, he can’t stop the wedding, but he can make it difficult. As for the detective thing? I think the first time he mentioned it was when...you were either out patrolling...and the second, I believe you were at work,"Joyce said cautiously."And the third time...I was in my office and he cornered me there. His basic concern is that he doesn't know enough about you, Angel. And, the fact that he's been wanting for the past two years to introduce Buffy to one of the brighter stars in his company..."
"He's been what?!? *Who the hell is this guy*?!? What guy?!?" Angel shouted as his game face sprang forth. He took a step towards Buffy's mother. “She’s *not* meeting any guy!”
Buffy immediately went to Angel and hit him upside his head. When he glared at her, she pulled his face down for a deep kiss. Joyce sighed as she looked up at the ceiling and Giles looked at his watch. As Xander rolled his eyes, Cordelia leaned against the table and looked at her nails. Oz started strumming his imaginary guitar as she looked at her watch.
"Who want's to make a bet that they're not going to come apart on their own?"Faith said. Willow glared at her."Okay, so want to bet that someone's gonna sock Hank sometime *real* soon?"
"You're really getting in a betting mood,"Willow said as she looked at the other Slayer balefully. Then she looked at Buffy and Angel who were looking like they were going to play tonsil hockey forever."Hey! Can you both quit with the hormones? You guys have 9 days and some odd hours to go, but Oz has to be in his cage in less than 3 hours! Staff meeting people! Get with the program!"
Angel broke off the kiss with some effort, then pulling Buffy, he headed for a chair next to Xander. Sat in it, then pulled Buffy into his lap."Don't wiggle. So what's this about some guy that Buffy's father wants to introduce her to? Or this nonsense about canceling the wedding?"
Joyce sighed as she came forward to the table."Well, as far as Hank is concerned, he doesn't trust you and he's annoyed at me for not letting you meet him sooner. Plus there's the fact that he only see you at night, so he wonders what you do during the day, add the fact that you said that you're an artist. And the cherry on top of that is that he's not looking forward to seeing Nana again. So, Hank's a little more inquisitive about you than usual."
"What's with this Nana of yours that's got him so..."Giles struggled to find the right words."So...so...upset?"
"Feel free to say 'freaked', Giles,"Buffy said as she settled more comfortably on Angel's lap. When he groaned and brought his hands to keep her hips still, she moved her hair to one side and leaned back against his chest."Dad's been acting like a *real* freaky guy ever since he heard that Nana Bethie was coming."
Joyce chuckled."It's because Nana never really liked your father, honey. In fact, she was downright hostile to him ever since she met him, which was, kinda weird since everyone else in the family liked him well enough. But then again, you know that Nana's been a bit...eccentric. He also has the firm belief that if Nana hates Angel, she's going to *really* hate him, and he just can't deal with Nana. Especially when she has a tendency to get a bit, ah, agitated when she sees him."
"So there's a violent Nana, Dada and a little Angel problem,"Xander quipped. When he got dirty looks from all around, he shrugged."Okay, so that was a bit beneath me, though it beats me what I said was wrong. So back to the subject, what has this to do with a guy that Buffy's dad wants her to date? Is he like, rich and alive? Is he buff?"
Angel growled at Xander.'She's not dating anyone, she's staying right here where she is. Keep it up and your ears are gong to be bobbed."
"Possessive much? Does this mean that she's staying on your lap?"Xander asked innocently. When Angel growled ferociously at Xander, Buffy jabbed her elbow into the hard chest behind her as Cordelia tweaked Xander's ear."Ow!"
"Behave or else I'll let him eat you!"Cordelia threatened, quite unmoved by his sulking face. Giles cleared his throat to get the group's attention.
"Anyway, do you have a fake background that can deflect Hank's suspicions, Angel? Anything at all?"
Angel shrugged."I said the truth when I said I was an investor. I'm a silent partner of Beaumont's on Main Street, Chantal's on Whedon Avenue and some other places, land lord of several buildings and property in Sunnydale, Los Angeles, San Francisco and Seattle. I also own some stock in several lucrative companies, so whatever he'll find is that. As far as the daylight job-"
"How much are you worth?"Buffy demanded as she poked him n the chest."And how come you've never told me that you have money?"
"It's never been that important to me,"Angel said simply."And you never asked. Does it really matter?"
Buffy snorted."As if! I'd marry you if you were poor! But at least we know that we don't have to live off of my meager pay check from week to week."
"Sweetheart, your meager pay check couldn't even pay for one of my shoes let alone a pair of yours,"Angel said as he leaned over to kiss her, one arm pulling her closer to him as the other hand roamed down her leg."So, let's just say that I can keep you in all the shoes you like, but don't try to pull an Imelda Marcos on me."
"Ahem! Before you two get involved with another 'Wrestle Mania' with your tongues, people, let me remind you that I don't have a lot of time left,"Oz said. He looked at Buffy’s mother."Is there any way that we can nip this search in the bud?"
Sliding a look at her husband, Joyce cleared her throat."I have an idea, but I think that it won't be popular in certain corners."
All eyes focused on Giles. Startled, he took a defensive postition."Why are all of you looking at me? I assure you that I'll support any idea that you have, Joyce."
"Let me go to dinner with Hank to convince him that Angel is clean,"she said flatly.
"Except that one,"Giles said equably. Joyce lifted her eyebrow at him."I am *not* letting you have dinner alone with Hank, even if he is Buffy's father. It is absolutely out of the question."
"Rupert, this is no time for jealousy. It's only a dinner, especially since you and Angel refuse to have Hank know that Buffy is the Slayer and Angel's a vampire. I know that I can convince him that Angel is good for Buffy,"Joyce coaxed."And you know that I can. I still have some influence on Hank. Especially when it concerns Buffy."
"That's the influence I'm afraid of,"Giles muttered. Joyce looked at her husband in absolute confusion.
“What is it between you and Hank? Where did this absolute and unyielding dislike between you two come from?”Joyce demanded.”Rupert?”
As Rupert and Joyce stood off, the several members of the Scooby gang found the floors and the ceiling incredibly fascinating. Buffy leaned back on Angel’s chest. and he frowned, then whispered,”You’re not wearing a bra, are you?”
Buffy giggled as she squirmed in her seat more causing him to groan more.”What do you think?”
Reluctantly. Giles spoke,“He said that you were on an obvious rebound and that I should get out of his way in case you reach your senses."
Joyce rolled her eyes."He always was delusional about our relationship for some reason. Must be all that flying around. Contracted bull-headed syndrome. And since you're showing the same symptoms, it must be contagious. Rupert, Hank might think that he still loves me, but he means *nothing* to me."
"And that pass he nearly made to you last night? Was that a part of my imagination? And those not so subtle hints on who's the better man financially? Physcially?"Giles demanded to her."Are those parts of my imagination?"
"No, but they absolutely mean nothing to me, and he's nothing more than Buffy's father,"Joyce said calmly."And I honestly think that this dinner is important in keeping Buffy's and Angel's secrets, which you insist on keeping. But if you want me to get him so we could tell him the truth, that's fine with me, too."
As Giles looked at Joyce furiously, Buffy cleared her throat."Giles, how about if I go with Mom to this dinner? She won't be alone, and I can use my leverage on Dad to leave Angel alone. It's worth a shot."
Giles remained silent as he looked at his Slayer. Buffy persisted."I know that Dad's a bit of a possessive, thick headed Neanderthal when it comes to Mom and me, but he'll listen to both of us when we confront him. Trust me on this, Giles."
"Fine, then,"Giles said slowly."I'd want a full report when dinner is over. And Joyce, if he lays a hand on you-"
"I'll be the first to deck him,"Joyce said as she kissed him gently.”After all, my left is as good as my Nana’s.”
“Give up?”Buffy leaned towards Angel's ear."No, I’m not wearing a bra, but I’m wearing the pink lace thong underwear you got me a month ago. Can’t you tell? Can you get Giles drunk tonight? He’s gonna need it."
“9 days and 17 hours to go,”Angel groaned as he leaned his head against hers. He groaned even more when Buffy started wiggling in his lap again.”I must be a masochist, wiggle some more.”
~End of Discussion...but not the pool.
