TITLE:  Nothin' Says Lovin' Like Something From The Oven
AUTHOR:  Goddess Isa
EMAIL:  slaythis99@aol.com
SUMMARY:  Xander has a fun night with a pie
SPOILER:  AMERICAN PIE!!  If you haven't seen the film, you might not wanna
read this. Of course, the basic gist of the film is what is really spoiled
here, so....it's your choice.  Also, Hush, sort of.  See notes below
DISTRIBUTION:  Sure, just email me & lmk where it's going - I like seeing my
name in print =) 
FEEDBACK:  Please, I'd hate to have to Slay for it.  =P
RATING:  TV-MA  - not quite NC-17
DISCLAIMER:  I don't own these characters, Joss Whedon does.  If he ever
decides to give them to me, that would be nice.  =)  American Pie belongs
to....Oh I don't know, two guys from Ann Arbor MI who are extremely brilliant.
AUTHOR'S NOTES:  This takes place after Hush, BUT I've changed just one
thing.  Okay, two.   Though they will not appear in this fic, there is no
Riley and he will NEVER kiss Buffy.  So there.  Oh, and the important stuff I
changed.  The Xand Man is a virgin.  No six minute sex with Faith, no
screwing Anya ever.  Xander's a man of self-enjoyment only.



    Having a roommate had come with advantages.  Spike may have been a
wanker, but he was a rich wanker. He'd come to Xander's equipped with a huge
TV and a DVD player, and now, he'd brought some new movies. One was Notting
Hill.

    "You've got to be kidding me," Xander said when he saw the title.

    "Sod off!" Spike yelled.  "Everyone needs a good cry now and then."

    "What else did you get?" Xander pulled the covers down on his bed and got
in.

    "American Pie."

    "Really?" Xander perked up.
   
    "Unrated." Spike added.

    "Let's watch that first," Xander encouraged.

    "Whatever," the vampire put the disc in and sat back, loudly munching his
popcorn all the way through.

*****

    When the film was over, Spike yawned and went to bed.  Xander was wide
awake.

    He was intrigued.

    He was inspired.

    His mother was no cook, but she baked often for lack of anything else to
do.  A horrible apple pie was upstairs on the kitchen table, just waiting.

    Xander gulped.  He looked over at the sleeping vampire and then thought
about what might be happening upstairs. His father was at the bar, his mother
asleep, his uncle Rory drunk and passed out on the living room floor.  He had
an easy shot.

    He carefully crept out of his bed and up the stairs. Spike never moved.

    Confident that he was on his own, Xander snuck into the kitchen.  He
grabbed the pie and carried it upstairs to his old room.  His mom had been
downstairs with his uncle, so there was no chance of anyone interrupting him.
He locked the door to the empty room and set the pie on the floor.

    It was the moment of truth. Screw now or wonder forever how it might feel.

    He looked at the pie, then at the erection forming in his boxers just
from the thought of the action awaiting him.  (Okay, so he was thinking about
Nadia stripping for Jim in the movie, but let's not go there.)

    His boxers were on the floor in an instant.  He kicked them away and
wondered if he could do that so easily in front of a girl.

    His eyes caught the pie, crusty, cinnamony, waiting for him.  He took a
deep breath and picked it up.

    He slid his cock inside the crusty goodness, sighing happily as the
slightly-warm apples and juices covered his member.  He wasn't sure if he
should thrust into the pie or gyrate the pie onto him, so he did a bit of
both.

    The motion quickened and the thrusts deepened.  His eyes fluttered as he
pictured Nadia riding his hips, sliding her warmth up and down on his penis.

    He could only imagine what it would feel like to bury his manhood deep
inside of her, but he was pretty sure the pie was a nice substitute.

    When he came, he held the pie there for awhile, remembering his
experience and telling himself never to speak of it to anyone.  He disengaged
himself from the apple mess that now rested in his mothers favorite pie plate
and went into the bathroom to clean himself up and flush the rest of the pie.

    After putting his shorts back on and tossing the dish in the kitchen
sink, he went back downstairs.

    Spike was still asleep, so he crawled into bed and pretended to snore.

    "You fuck the pie?" Spike asked.

    "Yeah," Xander admitted.

    "You like it?" he inquired.

    "Yeah,"

    "So you'll do it again?" Spike was so intrigued he almost sat up to
discuss this with the boy.

    "I might." Xander said.  "Why?  You do it more than once?"

    "Nah.  Didn't wanna ruin the sensations."

    "What do you mean?"

    "Oh, you know.  There's something about your first piece."