"Look,” I said, exasperated, “He’s given us food and replenished our supplies. I honestly don’t know what any of you are complaining about.”
“He gave us donkeys.” Camry snarled. “Or hadn’t you noticed?”
My donkey chose that moment to bray passionately.
Icicles immediately shot from my eyes and pierced Camry straight through the heart resulting in his dramatic and untimely demise. All right, not really. But icy glares are my specialty and he got a glacier of a shock when his eyes meet mine. “Perhaps it’s slipped your mind but when we came here all we had was a shopping cart.”
That was when Anglia decided to speak up. She gazed at me with a sickeningly mournful expression that I normally would declare downright gorgeous in that despairing, melancholy sort of way, all pleading and sincere; on the verge of remorseful tears that shouldn’t be shed from such beautiful eyes. But, since she’s more or less my competition, I’ll just say her eyes started to water when we past Mr. Bad Man’s gardener’s compost heap. “We could have stolen some of those horses he had-“
“And then he really would have been angry.” I snapped.
“Friens who are so easi’y angere’ aren’ really goo friens a’ all, now are they?” Celica asked gently. She finally popped her dentures back in. “You should be more careful.”
“Yes, well, friends who go around stealing other friends things,” I shot Alero a look. I knew Mr. Bad Man shouldn’t have allowed him access to his private bath. That’s like sticking Camry in a bank with no security system. “aren’t really very good friends then either, are they? And furthermore, the lot of you seem rather angry at the moment. Does that mean you’re not good friends?”
Miata scowled. He opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off before any negative and downright rude words could escape his little lips, if he even really had lips. I mean, he’s a hamster for crying out loud. At any rate, I didn’t want to hear it.
“Miata!” I snapped. “Don’t even start with me or I’m gonna shove you in my space pocket and leave you there! And as for the rest of you, just stay out of my hair.” I kicked my donkey into high gear (which took about five minutes) and separated from the rest of them.
“Ms. Floppygums all tryin’ to teach me the ‘lesson of the day’ and Camry about ready to let a barracuda loose in my direction. And then Alero’s just sittin’ there dumb as bricks and poor little Anglia sweet as can be, can do no wrong, everybody’s favorite little sweetheart. And then! Kia won’t even talk to anyone because of course he’s a prince and he should be the one leading us. What-the fuck-ever.” I continued to rant and rave until I’d gotten it all out of my system. Well, actually just until I didn’t feel like it anymore. I could’ve gone on for a couple of years if I’d gotten it all out. What would have been the logic in that? Imagine all the parties I’d miss…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “We should go try to find her.” Kia said, worriedly. Visions of 00Amy being mauled by the vicious and mysterious beasts that supposedly lived in these forests swam through his head. Naturally, he’d be the one to discover her lifeless body and he’d swear bitter vengeance on the creatures that they might suffer a fate worse than the loss of a love felt so deep. He’d weep dramatically and everyone would have newfound respect for the young, heroic prince who avenged his love and lived on to uphold right and protect the weak even though his broken heart would never be whole again and his entire reason for living had ceased to exist. They’d all be putty in his hands.
Camry snorted. “She’ll be fine on her own, kid. She can take care of anything in her way.”
“While that’s probably true,” Miata began, “you aren’t supposed to go around saying it. There’s always a part in every story where the Magical Girl has a break with her friends over some stupid argument or another and she wanders off by herself. After awhile both she and her group of friends realize that they need each other and love prevails once again.” He scowled. “It’s nauseating really.”
“But how can you be sure that’s what’s happening?” Anglia asked.
“Because it’s a long and glorious tradition. You haven’t been involved in many of these things, have you?”
Anglia shrugged. “I’m the token mysterious one. I’m not at liberty to say.”
Miata nodded. “Fair enough.” He scuttled over to where Celica and Alero had fallen asleep (though careful not to get too near Celica) and stretched out on the handkerchief that served as his bed. “Now, if you three don’t mind, I’d like to get some sleep. I need to reserve my strength so I can put up with that nitwit tomorrow. You just enjoy being first-person free for awhile.” He put in his miniscule earplugs and closed his eyes.
Kia, Anglia and Camry all exchanged looks.
“I wouldn’t say she’s a nitwit.” Anglia said finally.
“Nah, she isn’t. But that’s their relationship.” Camry explained. They’re like this you know.” He crossed his fingers. “He knows she’s not stupid, she’s just a bitc-“
“Hey!” Kia cried. “She is not! She just has a highly, er, stylized sense of who she is. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
Camry smirked. “Right. She’s a bitc-“
“I get the idea that she doesn’t like me much.” Anglia interrupted. “But I don’t think she’s all that bad.”
“You should apply for sainthood.”
Anglia smiled.
“She thinks that she’s the sexiest, most gorgeous, most clever, most irresistible and wonderful thing to ever walk the face of the earth.” Camry pointed out. “She’s self-centered and conceited and hardly gives a damn about anyone else. It’s all about her. If that doesn’t make her a bitch, I don’t know what does.”
Anglia finally gave in and nodded. Kia, however, was slightly harder to convince. “If that’s what you think, why do you like her at all?” He narrowed his eyes slightly and waited for Camry’s reply hoping that he could glean something incriminating.”
Camry grinned. “That’s hardly your business, kid. Besides, you’re in love with Celica.”
“I am not!”
“Sure you are.”
“No, I’m not!”
Camry got up and reached for his blanket to spread it on the ground. “There’s no need to get angry. You may not actually love her, but that’s the way the story’s written.” He shrugged. “Sorry kid, you’re stuck.”
Kia fumed silently as he prepared his own sleeping arrangements. He ended up situating himself as far away from the others as possible.
Anglia couldn’t help grinning. Poor kid. “Nice move.” she whispered. “I thought we were supposed to be unifying, not getting into more arguments.”
“You’ve just got to look beneath the surface.” he replied. “I just did everyone a big favor. I expect many large and expensive gifts for my birthday.” He smiled arrogantly and winked, leaving Anglia to wonder exactly what it was he meant.