“Dun dun duuuh dun dun da dun…”
I stopped my aimless strolling to place one lovely hand on my shapely hip and give Camry an exasperated look. “Okay, but I hope you do realize that we secret agents don’t actually hum that when we’re on a mission.”
Camry grinned and popped his head above the bush. “You should. They just edit it in later anyway.”
“But they don’t edit out the part where the bad guy hears your stupid humming and blows your head off.”
He only grinned that irresistible boyish grin again.
“Dun dun duuuh dun dun da dun…”
I rolled my eyes. “Eh, so now you’re gonna be a smart ass too, huh?”
Alero smiled sheepishly.
I scowled.
“Would you get over here.” Camry demanded. “You’re gonna give us away.”
I glanced around. Ah, yes, the parking lot at dusk. Scary place indeed, what with the sun and the setting going on. The chirping birds and the bright flowers would make anyone feel edgy. Then again, Camry didn’t know that our princess happened to be old and possibly blind and senile to boot. I walked to the bush and squeezed myself between the two of them and the building. His reaction had better be worth it…
“Dun dun duuuh dun dun da dun…”
“If I can’t get the two of you to stop that, can I at least get you to remove your foot from my stomach?”
Camry looked all kinds of solemn and yet smart-assish when he replied. The guy’s good at that, I’ve got to admit. “The moment he moves his foot out of your stomach, my knee won’t be in his back and your elbow won’t be in my face and we’ll all fall down.”
Alero glanced at the both of us fearfully. “Go boom?”
Camry nodded. I merely rolled my eyes. Of all the infantile...
“Shh.” he hissed suddenly. “I think I hear someone coming.”
I slumped against the wall. “Way to announce that to whoever it may or may not be. I mean, honestly Camry, do you think about these things before you say them?”
“Would you be quiet, she’ll hear you!”
“Yes, because there’s no way she would have heard your ‘shhh, I think I hear someone coming’. That’s just not possible, now is it?! Now, if I were her and I heard someone say that I wouldn’t pay any mind to it because in no way does that make me suspicious at all-”
“You must be pretty brave.” Alero interrupted. He looked at me with awe in his eyes.
Camry took the opportunity to slap his hands over our mouths. He leaned to peer around the bush, and since we both had an arm wrapped around our heads, we peered right along with him. She had passed through the emporium doors and was hobbling her way down the steps. She obviously hadn’t heard us.
I disentangled myself from my comrades and went to meet her. Camry was cursing me from the bush.
“Celica!” I called. “Celica… over here… turn around. That’s it. No, to your left. God, woman, have you no hearing at all?”
When she finally spotted me, she gasped. “You crook!” she cried and tried to bat me ‘round the head with her purse.
“Wait a sec! I can explain!”
“I ain’t going on no plane.” She replied.
“What?!”
“I don’t want to sit on a plane.”
She just wasn’t getting this…
I took a deep breath. “WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HEARING?”
She stared at me with as blank a face as I ever saw. “I had to give my hearing aid to that nice young man I told you about. It’s the emporium’s property… when I leave work I can’t take it home.”
Oh ick.
“Kay, well, moving on.” I pointed to the bush. “See them two aborigines over there?”
She nodded.
“The three of us are going to kidnap you now, okay? We really need a princess and by all means you should be pretty pissed at us. I doubt you want to come along willingly, right?”
She nodded again.
“Okay then, you just hop in this cart and we’ll kidnap you now.”
She smiled patiently as Alero helped her into the metal contraption that would be her carriage.
“Smooth.” Camry said behind me. I turned around to face him. “But you tricked me and I’m gonna get you back. Don’t worry about when or where or how… just know that you’re going to pay, kid. You’re gonna pay.”
I was going to pay? Well, darn. Really though, I was going to hate seeing him hurt himself. And coming after me, well, that’s all he was bound to do. Bring it on, rebel boy, bring it on.