“We have to go to this spa or I’ll whine. I’m very good at whining.” I pointed to Camry. “You hate it when I whine.”

Miata looked up from his standard issue Magical Girl miniature computer. “But the rest of us love it, right?”

“Damn well better or I’ll find a happy little snake pit for a certain rat boy.”

He narrowed his eyes. “You do and you’re stuck wandering around here forever. And besides that, stopping now would put us behind schedule. We can’t do it.”

“Why not? I met our Princess and she can’t leave until later tonight. She told me. What would be the harm in enjoying ourselves while we wait?” I gestured to my tangled hair and mud covered clothing. “It’s not like we’re all kinds of spic and span around here.”

Camry held up one hand. The look on his face was one of bewilderment and disbelief. “You met our Princess?”

I nodded. “Yup. I met our Princess.”

“You met our Princess?”

“Yes. I met our Princess. Is there some valid reason why this simple concept seems to elude you?”

“I was supposed to meet the princess!!”

I blinked. My otherwise perfect eyes seemed to be playing tricks on me. Wait, no, smoke was actually coming out of his ears… I kid you not. I glanced at Alero. “Is he gonna be okay or is his brain frying?”

Alero shook his head with small, slow jerks. “Run.” he whispered. Before I knew what was happening he took off running with Miata hanging on to the back of his shirt for dear life. They were gone faster than I could blink.

The smoke coming from Camry’s ears puffed out and was soon coming in individual gusts, kinda like a train. It was interesting to watch. That was when I noticed his eyes were taking on a reddish hue. I don’t know about you, but I’ve found that red eyes are a good indicator that all is not well in the world. Many bad things happen. Maybe Alero had the right idea...

That was when it happened. Camry’s body seemed to disappear before my very eyes. A small, fiendish looking child was left in his place. It’s eyes were large and round and innocent in that sinister sort of way. His small fists were merely round little balls at the end of his arms. His feet had a similar look. His voice was dizzyingly high-pitched.

“Youmettheprincess?Iwassupposedtomeettheprincess.Whydidyougettomeetherfirst,huh?

I took a step back. “Hello. What the cri is going on here?!”

Camry continued to rant and rave. He obviously wasn’t interested in me at the moment. That was a first. He began jumping up and down like a spastic child in the middle of the temper tantrum of the century. He was waving his little arms and legs so fast that I could hardly see them. They were but blurs of color. He was bouncing higher and higher with each pass. Being that I’m a curious individual and I had no reason for concern (except for those evil red eyes) I reached out and experimentally touched his forehead. He bounced higher, shrieking the whole time. Hmmm… this could be fun...

“This is the final game in 00Amy’s long and glorious career.” I said, in my best announcer voice. “Can she make this last basket and single-handedly lead her team to victory? Only time can tell.” I tucked Camry’s little legs in and wrapped his arms around them. Now then… can one control the bouncing of a human child? I began dribbling my makeshift ball. Now what to use as a basket? Hmmm... that garbage can down the end of the street will do.

Since I know next to nothing about basketball, I made things up as I went. I twisted and turned all the while dribbling my loud and squawking ball. “She shoots. She scores!” I threw him into the can. “And the crowd goes wild! How can they resist the ever-popular, ever gorgeous, obviously skilled secret agent?” I danced a small victory dance.

Oy. That’s when he hit me. I was squished like a bug. A very unhappy bug. I didn’t know I could flatten to such a state. Granted, it only lasted a few seconds but still. Popping back to my original size was probably the most peculiar experience I’ve ever been through. Not only did my ears pop but I believe my pancreas may have relocated somewhere near my heart.

When I looked back at Camry I found that he wielded a wicked grin and a massive mallet. Blast those pan-dimensional mallets... they getcha every time.