“I see green!” I jumped for joy, literally. I managed to splatter everyone around me in the process with the mud that’d been the bane of our existence for, eh, a page or so. “I see green, I see green, I see greeeeen!!” It wasn’t long before that small patch of green I’d spotted on the horizon was beneath our feet. Lucious, it was. Thick green grass and bright wildflowers and a pollen count that was probably off the charts. We ran through it all, skipping and shouting and, in general, frolicking about like children. Nevermind the fact that mere minutes before we’d have gladly killed one another…
“Oooh! Oooh! Over there!!” I had to smack Camry upside the head to get his attention. A bright neon sign off in the distance let us know that we’d finally found what we’d been searching for.
Once inside, Alero unfolded a list from his pocket. The thing was huge. We were apparently in for some power shopping. I promptly climbed into the cart where I could relax and still be able to command the mission, and Camry took control of it. Pretty soon we were zipping up and down aisles faster than a woodchuck on speed... or need, whichever.
When we got to the checkout line, I noticed a flyer for a newly opened spa. I turned to my partners. “You two go check this out. And take rodent boy with you.” I tossed Miata at Camry. He just barely caught him. Ohhh, Miata was gonna want to kick my arse. I’d have to watch out the next time I saw him. Anyway, they agreed and I began shoveling all of Alero’s merchandise out of the cart. The woman at the checkout was named Celica. Being that I could spot a Clamp car name cliché as quickly as anyone else, I knew she was our princess. Some princess... she was old. Elderly, even. She could have been my grandmother. This had to be some sort of sick joke.
Since I’m such a good sport though and because it could hardly be a problem if I was the only eligible female to fawn over, I played nice. “So, Celica,” I began, “you been in the princess business long?”
She looked at me in surprise but continued scanning items. “Oh, dearie, I’ve been in the princess business so long that I got bored with it. Had to resort to working here just to keep from going bonkers.” She smiled that patient granny smile.
“So how can we get you to join our group?”
“All you need do is ask. It would be nice to know who your Hero Boy is though. I didn’t see one in either of the two gentlemen you were with.”
I began bagging the merchandise. This woman was slower than any person I’d ever met. “We don’t have a Hero yet. We decided to pick you up first.”
“Oh, well that isn’t exactly the normal way of things.” she said in surprise. “But it’ll be okay. I hate to break the Hero’s heart after it’s all over. They can’t help but fall in love with me, you know. That’s my job.”
Right. And I’m the former ruler of the Lost City of Atlantis. Suuuure.
“Whatever. What time can we expect to leave?”
She glanced at the clock. “As soon as my shift is over I’ll talk to my boss. Such a nice young man he is. We can leave then.”
Grand.
She rang up the total. I stopped breathing. “You could buy a house complete with wine cellar and gardens for that price! Granted, it would probably be a fixer-upper but it wouldn't be that bad. A little paint, new floors, decent drapperies and furniture... that much?!”
She shrugged and repeated the number.
Wah wah wah. Fine. I’d pay it and I could get the heck out of there.
That was when I realized that Alero hadn’t given me any money. The low-down dirty... Oh, well. What’s a little theft between soon-to-be-comrades? It’s in my description. She’d get over it.