The Land of 69

6 plain, 2 peanuts. I the land of 69 the orgy was king. Boys were outnumbered 3 to 1 in this land. All men rejoiced because they had multiple wives to pleasure them. They all decided to do it in the pool one day. Their folly was that they were only paper bags, they became soaked and soon their innards floated freely. The survivors could only comment on their ultimate stupidity.

The Jump

2 large bags jumped out of some peoples hands and onto the floor to freedom! Viva La Resistance! And yet another large bag has joined out fight!

The Log

On closer inspection of my candy drawer, I discovered that 5 Junior Mints decided to use their mind tricks to melt themselves instead of being eaten by the evil customer.

What The?

2 large bags ripped themselves a new one and then promptly jumped from my hand.

It’s All The Cups Fault

Due to inferior packaging/manufacturing of said large cup, the cup was not able to retain the suspect coca-cola, due to the aforementioned packaging methods.

DOOM

I think this is a matter undoubtedly due to the extreme levels of Doom around the area, because of this doom, the small water in question sprung a link and must be put down.

D.O.A.

MM cup heard that corporate was coming and had a coronary, it immediately fell on the floor only to be stepped on.

So Sad

A small bag was dropped and we all cried.

EWW

A young cup, coming of age in a harsh world. One night a dream came to him. He awoke with a start and feeling very strange, wondered into the living room of his house. His mother looked up and gasped, “Father!” she exclaimed, “I think it’s time you had a talk with Jr.” His father looked up, “You buttered yourself boy, go clean yourself up then we’ll talk.” Jr. rushed to the bathroom and took a shower. Afterwards he had a long talk with his father about the candy and the bags.

A Lot Happens Today

A pickle jumped out of it’s bag and 2 medium bags were stuck together (I dunno what they were doing) and fell together to the floor and then there was the medium cup that didn’t want a lid. I felt really bad but it was accepted as waste. Alas small cup, we barely knew ye. The squished milk duds just gave up…no more life. And the poor medium and large popcorn bags met death when they were dropped on the floor by my floater.

Oh So Pointless

A milk dud and a gummi bear, disillusioned with their pointless lives as mere concessions, brutally crumpled today in register two R.I.P Dud and Bear!

More From The Peanut Gallery

Today the lid wouldn’t fit my last large cup. Alas it was a sad day.

I would like to state that Paul had some plan for this Large cup and pop corn bag, but of what I have yet to see, for Paul is the master of the pop corn maker!

A Poem

The Large Cup…
      Bled to death…
            How terribly Sad.

Lights, Camera, Action

“A Buttered Porn”
Scene 1-with groovy music.
Characters- 2 large and 1 small popcorn bag.
Large Bag 1- “I’m buttered.”
Large Bag 2- “Me too, no one wants me.”
Small Bag- “I want you both, in da butt.”
-End-

Going For A Swim

Dude, we were all working like the good employees we are and all of the sudden these Hot Tamales jumped out of Dilip’s candy drawer and into a puddle of water. The cause of death was drowning.

Lost And Found

It is terribly sad, a medium bag was found behind the butter dispenser, what is to become of it?

Dirty, Dirty, Dirty

Large cup #50 suffered the wrath of the cup dispenser. Large cup #50 was really nasty and was rejected by all customers.