- Zath's Lair: Library: The Trial -

**This is just some random silliness inspired by the witch trial scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. If you haven't seen this movie, you should. Go watch it! It's funny! As usual, Percy does not belong to me.**

The Trial
By Zath Chauvert

**The scene opens as a girl in an extravagant but ill-fitting dress is brought to trial before the Committee of Public Safety.**

Mob: "She's an aristo! Cut off her head!"

Judge: "And how do you know that she is an aristocrat?"

Frenchie #1: "She made me wear froufrou!"

**Everyone turns to look at look at him and sees that he is dressed in the filthy rags typical to the Sans-Culottes.**

Frenchie #1: (rather sheepishly) "I changed my clothes..."

**There is a brief but awkward pause as the entire mob falls silent.**

Frenchie #2: "Well she looks like an aristo! I say we cut off her head!"

Mob: "Yeah!"

Girl: "But I'm not an aristo. They dressed me like this, and this isn't my real hair, it's a wig!"

**The judge leans forward and lifts up the beautifully styled fancy wig, revealing short grungy hair beneath. Then he turns and addresses the mob.**

Judge: "Is this true?"

Frenchie #2: "Well we did add the wig..."

Frenchie #1: "And the ball gown..."

Frenchie #3: "But she's still an aristo! Let's cut off her head!"

Mob: "Yeah!"

Judge: "There is a way to determine whether or not she is, as you say, an 'aristo.' What do we do to aristocrats?"

Frenchie #2: "We catch them and we cut off their heads!"

Mob: "Yeah!"

Judge: "And what else do we have to chase down and deal with by removing its head?"

Mob: "Uhhhh..."

Frenchie #2: "Spiders?"

Frenchie #3: "Onions?"

Frenchie #1: "Very small trees?"

Percy in disguise: "A chicken!"

Judge: "Yes, a chicken! Very good! Therefore, if she runs as fast as a chicken..."

Frenchie #1: She... she must be an aristocrat?"

Judge: "Precisely!"

Percy in disguise: "And then we can cut off her head!"

Mob: "Yeah!"

Percy in disguise: "C'mon everyone, let's go find a chicken!"

Mob: "Yeah!"

**Everyone rushes out of the courtroom to go look for a chicken, and in the confusion Percy grabs the girl and carries her to safety.**

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