Asylum BZ34

Asylum BZ34

Where the strange just get stranger

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1. You're walking down the street when someone offers you a garden pea. Do you;
Drop to your knees and start chanting "I am not worthy"
Take the pea, politely say thank you but do not eat. You can't be too careful these days
Run away screaming
Wake up
2. You're looking after a neighbours' dog while they're on holiday when it suddenly gets run over by a reliant robin and dies. Do you;
Start sweating and worrying how to tell your neighbour who incidently has done time for murder
Start visiting every pet shop in the country to find a 3 year old poodle who answers to the name "Satan"
Laugh
Think "ha hee! I'm eating well tonight!"
3. Every so often you like a game of table tennis. But today you can't find the ping pong ball. Do you;
Don't play table tennis
Pretend there is one there really and it's your friend who's mad. For the first time ever you win a game
Improvise with the cricket ball you keep on the TV for just such emergancies
Say "Hey, never mind." pluck out your glass eye and test it to see if it bounces
4. Your best friend is;
A spaceman
An invisible omelette called Zog who lives in the toilet
That bloke in the petrol station who's taken out a restraining order on you
Someone you know
5. When it sunshines you like to;
Go to the local hospital and get thrown out
Sunbathe
I don't go outside anymore. If I do they'll get me, they know I know you see
See how far I can get wearing only a bucket on my head before I get arrested
6. You're driving in your car when you come to a roundabout. There is only one other driver in sight do you;
Go round the roundabout and carry on your journey
Put your "born to be wild" tape on and see exactly how fast your car will go round roundabouts
Catch up to the other car and follow it bumper to bumper for 4 miles refusing to overtake and generally freaking the other driver out
Decide that you've had enough with corners for one day and go over the roundabout
7. You notice a door in your workplace that you've never seen before. This is because;
You've never been along this corridor before
It is a magic door and will grant you 3 wishes
It is late at night. It must be the door to the underworld filled with ghosts and ghouls. It must be destroyed and you are the one to do it!
You're drunk. It's actually a window
8. You're in a restaurant and the waiter brings you a plate of mashed potato. This is because;
You want to make a sculpture of a mountain out of it because you can't get the image out of your head ever since you were abducted by aliens
You like mashed potato
It's not yours! Take it away! Take it away! Help! They're trying to poison me again! They won't win! Ever! They won't win!
You want to put it in your hair, it's the new style don't you know
9. You're minding your own business playing twister when a hurricane starts. Do you;
Think; "Hmm. The weather report got it wrong again."
Start running about and screaming that it is the end of the world
Jump up and down and tell people that they have to escape before the alien invasion comes just like last time
Put your left foot on green
10. You're in a hurry to get to work and you forget to put your clothes on. You notice;
Just before you leave the front door
At work when someone comments on the changing fashions of today
You don't
"I never wear clothes anyway. They restrict a person's spirit. We should burn them all in the streets"

So, r u mad?

10 - 19You are perfectly normal
20 - 24Normal but with psycotic tendancies
25 - 29Safe to live in public under supervision
30 - 34You are mad. Seek psyciatric help immediately
35 - 39You are mad and beyond help. Give my best wishes to the little green men
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