| 1. |
Someone yells "all those who are dead, raise your hand!" did you;
raise your hand
not raise your hand
raise your hand halfway because you were unsure
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| 2. |
For the past five years you have been;
pretty busy actually
lying under 9 feet of earth
sitting on the mantel-piece in a jar, no reason, I just like it there
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| 3. |
You hear someone close by talking about exorcising their house. You think;
wouldn't like to be the poor bloke haunting that place
weirdo! everyone knows ghosts don't exist!
how exactly would you exercise a house? I mean, you can't take them jogging an' all. weights maybe?
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| 4. |
You don't get invited to dinner parties anymore because;
you smell
no one was impressed by your party trick of doing the cancan blindfold
no one was impressed by your party trick of doing the cancan by first removing your head and putting it on the table
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| 5. |
When life insurance salesmen call round you;
laugh and point, because you don't need it anymore
laugh and point, because if you are alive, you just don't care
laugh and point. you don't need a reason
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| 6. |
You say "someone's just walked over my grave". This is because;
You shivered
There are some kids playing in the graveyard and you are getting annoyed
You want to freak the postman out
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| 7. |
.What happens after you die?
nothing, you just die
it's what my religion says
if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you
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| 8. |
Your view on mumification
I prefer cremation
It is an ancient Egyptian custom which preserved many pharoahs up to the present day
ow!
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| 9. |
Someone asks you how you feel today. You reply;
like a pebble rolling up a hill
fine thanks
well, I'm dead actually
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| 10. |
And finally, last night you went to sleep in;
a bed
a coffin
I've not slept since my eyelids fell off
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