Library: Episode 12
“Damn, I always forget that line... ‘You have no power over me.’”
“How could she forget that??” Pyla was watching the Labyrinth. Again. Reea snorted and hit rewind.
“...Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered...” Pyla was rapt once more. The twins had been doing this all afternoon. Having finally finished paying off the gas bill, they had quit their jobs at the Food Wookiee (We think it’s funny to waste time, money, and body parts) and were celebrating their newfound freedom in the only way they knew how. They were memorizing the script of their new favorite movie, the Labyrinth. They hadn’t gotten beyond the first scene, as it was only 1 pm and they’d gotten off work 15 minutes before and had wanted to hear the song with the opening credits a few times. It sounded strangely like the noise they heard echoing down the halls whenever Jareth took a shower...
They finally got to the scene where Sarah wishes her brother away, and Reea, already fed up with the entire game, cried out, “Goblin King, Goblin King, Wherever you may be, take this Television set far away from me!” Strangely enough, the TV stayed exactly where it was, though Jareth’s ears pricked up. Pyla rolled her eyes.
“Really, Reea... you’re supposed to say “I wish goblins would come and take the TV away right now! That’s not so hard, is it?” The lights went out and amidst some rather interesting rustling noises, the sisters became aware of the fact that the sounds from the TV had stopped. When the emergency lights came on, they saw that, indeed, the TV was nowhere to be seen. Jareth appeared in the doorway in his pink Avon suit. A white owl beat it’s wings against the solid plexi-glass window that suddenly appeared in the corner. It didn’t open, much to the owl’s dismay, and it flew off. The real Goblin King appeared shortly standing in the doorway to the kitchen, back lit by the open refrigerator.
“Please, if it’s all the same, we’d like our television back. Where is it?”
“You know very well where it is,” the man dressed all in black, sillouhetted by the ‘fridge, said.
The Principal in Pink piped up, “Hmm... now where have I heard that voice before?”
Reea muttered under her breath, “Maybe whenever you open your mouth...” Audibly, she replied, “Don’t you have some eyeshadow to reorganize?”
“Oh yeah! Thanks...” He wondered away, hair catching several gnats as he walked.
“Who was that idiot?”
“Your former self would be my first guess.” Pyla piped up. “I’m still waiting for the answer to my question. Something a little less cryptic, if you please.”
The Goblin King sighed heavily. “You mean I have to give a straight answer? I hate giving straight answers... Wait!” He held up one gloved hand and an apple appeared on the fingers of the guy standing behind him. “Wrong story, idiot!” A muffled “sorry” from behind him and a crystal ball appeared on the fingers. “I have a present for you, but this isn’t a present for an ordinary demented Library dwelling Jedi/Janitor.” He paused for a moment, wondering when any of those adjectives came to describe someone ordinary.
“Whatever. If you turn it this way you’ll see..” “Bill Cosby in drag?” Jareth shot an aggravated look at Reea.
“I certainly hope not. No, you see your dreams. Do you want it?” At Pyla’s vehement nod, he continued. “Then forget the TV. I’m sure I need it far more than you anyway. After all, I live in a castle full of drunken goblins. You guys at least have a security staff.”
“Ah...” Pyla grinned suddenly and ran past him into the kitchen. “I wish goblins would come and take this... uh... this Toaster away right now!” Reea piped up from behind her with the now cliche’d “That’s not so hard, now is it?” The toaster disappeared with a rustly chuckle. Jareth looked mildly distraught.
“I don’t like the way this is going...” Pyla’s grin widened and she pointed at the electric can opener.
Three hours later, they had cleared their entire apartment. Everything that wasn’t nailed down. Reea pointed an almost accusatory finger at the carpet before Pyla pounced on her. “No, we’ve got to get that cleaned, not removed!”
“Oh... right...” She turned her wish-happy finger on the door... just as Lestat took hold of the door knob. Louis, behind hm, heard the words “I wish goblins would come and take this door away right now!” followed by “that’s not so hard now is it?” just as Lestat disappeared in a swirl of glitter... along with the door. Pyla grinned.
“COOOL! Disappear another door, Reea, I want another Louis.”
“What happened to Lestat?”
“What do you mean?”
“He disappeared.”
“Uh oh...”
Jareth grinned. Finally, something they wanted back. “If you ever want to see your Lestat again, you must solve my Labyrinth.”
“Duuh...” the twins chorused. Jareth wasn’t having as much fun as he’d expected.
He pointed at the door to the Labyrinth, because let’s face it, adding in Hoggle would just complicate things too much. Besides, they’d probably turn him into a jewel instead of merely stealing his. “You have... hmm... Thirteen hours is sooo... I don’t know... done already. You’ve got 13 minutes!” The twins looked at him like he was insane.
“What do we want with a door?” Reea asked, just before she bounded onto the wall and bounced away.”
“Yeah, there isn’t even a Lestat attached to it.” Louis followed Reea.
“Or a Louis behind it.” Pyla flew after Louis. Jareth groaned and sparklied himself back to the castle. He had a pile of Tigla Twin stuff to go through.
Back in the Library, the carpet cleaners had been called. For once the twins’ apartment was clean enough for the floors to be cleaned, and the Librarian didn’t intend to waist the opportunity. The TYs documented the occaision as a sign of the end times.
Jareth was playing the ever popular game of “What happens if I push this button?” He was increasingly distressed to find that, in fact, nothing happened the more he pushed on the buttons of Reea’s shirts. He moved on to her stereo system, only to discover that Reea really liked Metallica, and that she really liked it loud. Like, 11 on a scale of 5. Off in the Labyrinth, Reea tilted her head to the side. “Why do I hear Enter the Sandman?” Jareth plugged his ears and ran away from the stereo screaming. This was what they replaced Dance Magic with? What was wrong with these authors? It wasn’t fair! A little voice in the back of his mind piped up, asking what his basis for comparison was. He screamed louder and ran faster.
The carpet cleaners had found the holy grail in the thick shag carpeting of Reea’s room. Pyla’s closet had revealed the Dead Sea scrolls. The grout between the bathroom tiles had turned out to have been made of powdered Philosopher’s Stone. The Librarian was beginning to think the TY scribes were right.
Lestat was grooving to Metallica. He and Reea really did have a lot in common, after all. Obscenely loud music was a good place to start. Jareth was cowering behind his throne with a large roll of duct tape and a light saber. Reea, mere yards from the Castle beyond the Goblin City stopped midstep, hearing the opening riff of Nothing Else Matters floating to her on the breeze. With a great bound, she leaped in through the window. “MY MUSIC!” Just then, the lyrics started and she stopped, swaying to the beat. Surely, this was the most intoxicating song she’d ever heard... Pyla’s entrance knocked her out of the window, Louis bouncing along in her grasp by the back of his shirt. Needless to say, though we’ll say it anyway, you know us, we do that, the shirt was obscenely stretched out by this point. Lestat looked up from his head-banging (yes, he head bangs to everything) and yelped in horror. It was his shirt that Louis had borrowed and was currently wearing. His obscenely stretched out shirt...
“Well, it looks like we’ve finally arrived... Can we have our Lestat back now?”
“YES! Take him! PLEASE!” Jareth fell to his knees, pleading, and in a swirl of sparkles, everything that belonged in the Library was back there... except the mess that had accompanied Pyla and Reea’s belongings. The castle was never to be the same again. Niether was Jareth.
The Tigla Twins’ apartment, for all it’s cluttered grandeur, was clean. Truly, the end of world was coming and this was ground zero.