-[ The scene fades
in. You see in front of you the mansion home of
Skarrphace, but you're on the inside
looking out. It's raining in Southern California tonight,
and the sky is dark. Then, as you peer out the window,
you see the large iron gates of Skarrphace's mansion home
begin to open, and you see a car approaching from
the street below. It turns up the driveway and heads
towards the gates, not slowing down to allow them to
open.
Your heart skips a beat as the car narrowly misses the
gates as they complete their opening and the car comes
through them. Speeding up the driveway towards the
mansion, you recognize the 2000 black Range Rover that
belongs to Skarrphace. He parks the car right outside the
front door and gets out, turning the car off. As he
whirls
himself around the car towards the door, you hear the
familiar *bleep, bloop* of the security system being
turned on.
Skarrphace gets his keys and opens the door, and soon he
is inside, a bit wet from the rain outside. Wearing a
gray
Armani suit, white shirt, red tie, and Italian leather
shoes, he lays his belongings on the table near the door
and starts
for his study down the hall. He gets in and immediately
goes to his desk. Pressing the button on the phone
labeled
"Speakerphone", the speaker comes to life and
you hear the studder tone that lets you know Skarrphace
has voice-mail
messages waiting. Skarrphace presses a few digits, and
soon the speaker is ringing. Then, you hear the automated
voice
of the voice-main system pick up. This is what you hear: ]-
Pacific Bell
VoiceMail. Please enter your telephone number.
-[ Skarrphace
punches a few more digits then: ]-
Thank you. Please
enter your secret password.
-[ Skarrphace again
enters some digits and then: ]-
Thank you. Mr.
Vincenetti, you have 11 new messages. To listen, press
"1".
-[ Skarrphace
presses the "1" button and the messages begin
to play: ]-
"What's up 'Phace
man. This Joz from GFWA. Been a while since I've
spoken to you. I can see your not home right
now.
Ya still got my number. Call me back and we can
catch up on old times 'Phace. Just wanted to check
in and see how your career
has been doing since we last spoke a few months
back. Talk to you later 'Phace man."
BEEP-boo-BEEP
"Hey 'Phace? 'Sup man.
Va'iga of the Hakaz here, you still up for that session
man? Little V and Serena are coming,
gonna be one bad motherfucker of a party. TKF in the bar!
Check the chairshots on BD? Some sweet ass-kicking going
on.
Later, man."
BEEP-boo-BEEP
"Hey....shit, leave me
alone a second, damn....'Phace....this is Smallz...where
you at man, I got this shit to get rid of
right now.....call me...or better yet, beep
me....peace...."
BEEP-boo-BEEP---BEEP
"Hey 'Phace, this is
Brian Berg of the bWo....just wanted to wish you good
luck and success in the HWA....
and all your endeavors....peace, I'll see ya at Number
One..."
BEEP-boo-BEEP
"Phace....shit....beep
me man....this is Smallz again....Julie is here, she says
whazzup....of course....hey, you
there man?!? Pick up if you're there....shit, beep
me...."
BEEP-boo-BEEP
"Hello....Mr.
McPhace......are you there? Damn it! I missed you! You
know what, bro, I'm really going to kick your stupid ass.
Why you ask? Because youdeserve it. Flirting with Denise
Lopez......Christ!.....you know that I have a thing for
her, man!
*voice fading out* Hello?.......damn
cellphone......stupid peice of crap......*starts wacking
the phone on something*......damn
I'm losing you .....'Phace....I'm
warning....you.....say....another word to her......and
you'll....really get it. How about......
I describe what......damn phone!...*wacking
continues*....I'm going to....take that....little thing
in.....you pants.....and......*click*"
BEEP-boo-BEEP
"'Phace....the
Franchise here....Chaos the one and only....listen, I
gotta talk with you about some shit going down this
weekend....yeah, it's the same shit, but you know, we
gotta hook up....oh, Tricia says hello....yeah, anyways,
beep me.
Oh, and good luck in the HWA...like you'll need
it....peace...beep me..."
BEEP-boo-BEEP--boo
"Skarr-motherfuckin'-Phace....this
is Primetime....Brian Watts....listen punk, you can't
dodge me forever...you know
where to find me, so I expect a reply to this,
bitch....SEE YA!"
BEEP-boo-BEEP
"Yo, 'Phace! Where you
at man....this shit is hot....you know this is Smallz, so
beep me man....this is the last time I'm
callin'....peace...."
BEEP-boo-BEEP
GRUNGE: Yeah, uh, ZitPhace!
It's your old buddy Grunge! Remember me? Of
course you do.. Anyways, I called to ask if I could drop
by your place and
maybe burn your house to the ground? You know, like in
that movie BackDraft?..
Just thought I'd get permi-..
(IN the background of the call, you can hear a voice.)
T-DOGG: Dude! Gimme the Goddamned phone!..
GRUNGE: Hold up, I-..
T-DOGG: Lemme talk to him, asshole!
GRUNGE: It's just his voicemail!!..
(By this time you can hear them wrestle over the phone.)
T-DOGG: Even better! Now GIVE... ME.. THE...
(You hear a thud in the background.. T-Dogg has won the
battle over the
phone..)
T-DOGG: Well, if it isn't Skarr McPhace! How are ya,
slimeball?.... Well,
how are ya?... OH YEAH! It's voicemail, huh!? You
probably won't respond,
and even if you did, I wouldn't hear you... So do you
still suck? I mean, I
haven't seen ya in a while, being injured and all. Take
care of yourself,
and don't get it caught in the zipper!
(in the background...)
GRUNGE: Are you done, Dogg!?
T-DOGG: Yeah, here...
(You can hear the transfer of the phone from one man to
the other.)
GRUNGE: Anyways, I'm expecting a call from the Butcher, I
guess he needs
some money or something... Later on, ripshot!
(The phone hangs up)
BEEP-boo-BEEP
"Hey 'Phace, its Josef
Gestapo...I guess it's probably about 730 your time, but
I was just checking to see what your plans
are for Tuesday night. We might have a little problem
with a few people that night, and I'm looking to line up
some extra security,
just to make sure things are on the up-and-up while I'm
busy kicking that fat bastard's ass....Listen, if you can
give me a
call back sometime before then, I'm sure we can make it
worth your while to come hang out...All right, keep on
regulatin'...later."
END OF MESSAGES.
-[ Skarrphace
presses the Speakerphone button on his phone again and
leans back as the scene fades out to this: ]-
