The Kalvarilion. The Lost Stories 
  
 The following story was first written by Salamias, the naive recorder
of
the adventures of Nostramazos, Kavlas, and Dolofonos. Salamias, being
chased by the evil witch Maria could only observe and not participate
in
the story that bound the three adventurerers together in a way that the
most devious mind would not imagine.

 Alas, the story was torn and destroyed by the for one week girlfriend
of
Dolofonos, who in a burst of sexual rage and lust decided that the book
would easily fit, along with her boyfriends tiny toon, inside her black
hole, an abyss of unspeakable terror and hair.

 Here is the story with some missing parts.

"....and so Kavlas wondered at this intrusion in his house. Nostramazos
looked at him in the eye, while Dolofonos was guarding the exit. 'What
is
the meaning of this' he said. Nostramazos now was looking at him
sideways
using only one eye as the other one was blocked by his huge nose. After
a
few moments of silent thought he said 'He is out again'. 'Who?' said
Kavlas fear already cripping in his behinds. 'Vegos and he is wielding
Vegorion with my soap, Lucy, in his free hand!! We must act and we must
act fast, he is going to suck all the power from innocents and then
come
after us. Dolofonos has thought of something but i do not know if it
will
work. Dolofonos tell him.' Dolofonos said 'malakes ta troo' which he
always did when he was not interested for something, and why should he.
The layer of fat and dirt on his body and especially the haunted forest
of
Bromarion situated in the canyon of his bottom, in which evil spirits
and
bugs lurked, gave him enough protection at least against the force of
Vegorion and his wielder.

        Nostramazos burst into a fiery rage 'Fool!!!! If you think that
Vegorion cannot harm you, think again with what you call a brain! Lucy,
is
powerful artifact soap made in the Age of Papoutsanis Realm. the
combination of Vegos' sword and my soap will surely bend you to
oblivion.
We must go now, gather up your stuff and lets move!' With that he run
out
of the house. Kavlas was buffled. 'What does he want?' he asked
Dolofonos.
After some thought, Dolofonos' face brightened 'Lets follow him and
find
out'"

"....Vegos was standing there wielding Vegorion in his hands.
Immediately,
Kavlas reached in his pants and exposed Kalvirion now stronger than
ever.
Dolofonos made breads ready to use, while Nostramazos casted a spell of
protection on his ass. Despited their differences the three fought well
together with the exemption of their last fight against Vegos. The
memories of that last fight enraged Kavlas who stepped forward facing
Vegos. 'Your doom awaits you Vegos and by the bones of Tao Tao and
Adepali
Fail, I will be the one to lead you to it'. Vegos laughed, a hideous
disgusting laughter that echoed the woods and made the bottoms of every
living creature freeze what they were doing in the forest of Pipakolo.
'Hihihihi. You think you can destroy me petty naive stupid and two
times
what i just said?' Vegos was not the most original dwarf in the world
of
Ansalon and he used to repeat him self or even self insult him
existence.
'I will kill you till your dead' and with that he attacked brandising
Vegorion in front of him. Kavlas attacked as well followed by Dolofonos
and Nostramazos, who was a bit slow as the protection spell he casted
on
his ass involved sitting on the ground.

..."alas Kavlas stumbled forward and fell flat on his face. With the
grin
in his face Vegos turns Vegorion upside down and begins to descend it
on
Kavlas' hairy arse. Out of nowhere Dolofonos shouts 'malakes tatroo'
and
for this time he actually did it, but not with out a price. Opening his
dirty mouth Dolofonos swallows half of the Vegorion which penetrated
his
skulp in a bloody mess. Dolfonos would never die clean. His lifeless
body,
though stays stuck on Vegorion giving Kavlas precious time to get up
and
try a fatal blow. And lo!! Vegos reaches out and gets Lucy, the greasy
soap out of his pouch and throws it down!! Kavlas stays enhanced and
with
tears in his eyes, the result of an imagination that flourised when the
soap appeared, bends. Lucy, The Soap of Countless Reaching Attempts had
the power of making people believe that if they reached down to grab it
it
would change their life. And so it did but not in the way they
expected.
Only superior minds could hold it and not throw it down so as to bend
and
take it. So it was, that Vegos peering behind Vegorion saw Kavlas
bending
over and rushed for the kill. Again luck is with Kavlas as Nostramazos,
who knew how to control Lucy grabs it in his hands and shouting
'oeoeoeoeoee' pushes Kavlas out of the way. Vegos loses his balance and
penetrates the Mighty Rock of Pain which happened to be passing near
by.
'Oh my gods, Not another walking rock!!!' vegos reamins trapped while
Kavlas lifts high above him Kavlirion. But just for this once he
decides
that he will not penetrate anything. That first he would let Vegos
suffer
from lust. Thus, he used his Kavlirion as a club and with this he
clubed
Vegos in the...."

 So it is, that the story and the end of the famous battle between the
Three Housemates and Vegos will never be known in full, thus is the
destiny of the Book of Kavlirion