PUSHUPS

One day, I will be strong, I promise myself.
One day, it will be forgotten that I was once a nobody, because I will be strong.
(Five, six, seven, eight...)
One day, you will notice me, I secretly hope.
One day, many months from now, I will not be harmed any longer, because I will be strong.
(...Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen...)
My arms are fine, I can go forever, I tell myself. 
I am already becoming stronger. I am already leaving behind the body of a person that nobody could possibly care for.
(...Twenty six, twenty seven, twenty eight...)
One day, when I am strong, they will stop hurting me, I tell myself.
I will be invincible, I promise myself, and people will quake at my name.
(...Forty one, forty two, forty three...)
There is a fire in my arm, and nothing will put it out. But I will work through the pain, and I will be strong.
My arms are only tools, like swords, I tell myself. First, they must be forged in fire, and then they may be cooled by rest. Only
then can they be strong.
When I am strong, this will be easy for me.
(...Sixty four, sixty five, sixty six...)
I must get to one hundred!! If it kills me I will!!
I must be accepted, if it kills me I will!!
(...Sixty eight, sixty nine, seventy...)
I can’t take it any more, my traitor arms are giving up on me!! Only thirty more to go, I must finish!!
(...seventy six, seventy seven, seventy eight...)
One day, I will be strong.
One day, I will be accepted.
One day, I will no longer cry.
(...Eighty seven , Eighty eight, eighty nine.)

					~<velt1@hotmail.com>