20 Ways to Annoy Your Bathroom Stallmate
2. Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
4. Say, "Dang, this water's cold."
5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh crap! My glass eye!"
6. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantelope into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.
8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"
9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!"
11. Say, "Interesting... more floaters than sinkers."
12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here please?"
13. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me."
14. Fill a balloon with creamed corn. Rush into the stall with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and splatter cream corn all about. Apologize profusely and blame it on the fettucine alfredo you had for breakfast.
15. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."
16. Say, "Darn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"
17. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.
18. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
19. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
20. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free".
21. Simulate a drug deal.
22. Pretend to fall in ( with appropriate sound effects ).
23. Introduce yourself to the person in the next stall. Strike up a conversation.
24. Compliment people on their shoes.
25. Start a Sing-A-Long.
26. Masquerade as a door-to-door salesman.
27. Knock in stall doors with camera in hand.
28. Pour water over the stall door onto occupant.
29. When it is obvious that your neighbor is "going to be there for a while", take some Moutain Dew and spill it all under the stall doors. The idea behind it is that it will fill up the area of dry ground underneath their feet, and they won't want to get out.
30. Write essay questions on the toilet paper.
31. Put Glad-Wrap over the toilet bowls.
32. Leave a ladle in the toilet bowl.
33. Glue the seat and the cover down on top of the bowl.
34. Place signs warning of 24-hour video surveillance.
35. Create a crime scene complete with police tape and chalk silhouette.
