The Den
=======

Buster returns to a chorus of jeers and sniggering. People
then begin preparations to break camp. Vat69 ties the reins
of 2 remaining (and quivering) horses to the back of a bike,
having decided to push it the rest of the way to town.

Jonah regains consciousness to look up into the tongue
lolling face of Rocco. After a period of confusion the
tracker pushes the dog off him and decides to leave the
disciplining until after they've reached town (and he's
recovered a few more hit points).

The rest of the trip to the 'Den' is unsurprisingly free
of incident (the DM actually having to look down at his
adventure notes for the first time).

The "Den" turns out to be a settlement of some size and
containing a fair number of people (all human). Most of
the buildings look burnt out and in ruin, but a fair
few seem to in a good state of repair. The denizens of
the town totally ignore the group standing on their 
doorstep.

If PhilJ was present and playing a old wise dude type of
character he might have said something like 'never will
you find a more wretched hive of scum and villany..we must
be cautious' but he wasn't and so didn't.

Anyway, the wilderness warriors wander in and have a look
around. The main street has two establishments of note,
Becky's, which from the neon light and sounds of merriment
coming from within, seems to be some kind of bar. The
other has the sign "Tubbys" painted in big red letters across
one wall. It looks like some kind of general store.

The large green mutant makes a bee line to Tubbys with the
motorbike and horses. The others stand and take in their
surroundings. After a time they notice that most of people
wandering the streets seem to be down-and-outs and totally
outta their heads (i.e. high on something).

Meanwhile, back in Tubby's, Vat69 is haggling & bartering
like only he can. The conclusion of which leaves the
store owner in tears and both horses plus the remaining
bike exchanged for 150 bottle caps, 2 machine pistols and
a full cylinder of flamethrower fuel. The two shake on
the deal with the tear stained shopkeeper indicating that
he can't get the fuel cylinder for at least a couple of days.
Vat69 indicates that this is fine as he'll be in town for a
while anyway.

Jonah Travis and Rocco head into Becky's to check out
that establishment. Becky's turns out to more of a
gambling pit rather than a bar, they do serve drinks,
but these are more to accompany the gambling than for
any other function.

Jonah wanders over to a woman behind the bar and orders
a Gecko beer and gets chatting. The woman turns out to
be *the* Becky, owner of the bar..so it's not just a
clever name?'...She seems pleasant enough and answers
most of the tracker's questions.

Yes, there is no law in town, at least not the usual
kind and especially not after the drugs arrived.

The real power in 'The Den' are the Slavers who have a
compound in the east side of town. They got the guns
and they got the muscle, Becky advises Jonah to stay well
clear of these bad boy hombres.

Jonah assures her that he can look after himself and then
asks if she knows the whereabouts of a certain man called
Vic. Becky immediately stops cleaning the metal mug in her
small, lithe hands.

'Metzger's got him, but you didn't hear that from me
understand?'

Jonah acknowledges with a curt nod, and then asks who
this "Metzger" is, sounds like a real gimp.

Becky looks the tracker in the eye before uttering..

'He's in charge of the Slavers..yes those Slavers, big
guns, big muscles, over there on the east side of town'.

Jonah thanks Becky for the information and then
returns to his drink to have a little think.

Meanwhile, Vat69 having concluded his business at
Tubbys, decides to check out the rest of the town.
There isn't much in the surrounding vicinity apart from
the general store & the bar, so the green mutant wanders out
towards the "east side" of town.

The rest of the group remain standing in the middle
of the street, watching the day go by. They have
established that the 3 rough looking dudes at the
corner of one burnt out abode have all the hallmarks of
drug dealers.

Buster spies the green mutant wandering east and decides to
tail him, he hefts his backpack and follows.

Vat69 wanders nonchalantly eastwards for some time eventually
arriving in another well inhabited part of town. The green
mutant stops and takes in the view...

...another bar, a large compound with mucho heavily armed &
armoured dudes, a church with more heavily armed dudes but with
metal breastplates, a graveyard and...eh? an Italian resturant?

Interest piqued, Vat69 heads towards Mama Mias. His path
leads him past the bar, 'The Hole', so the mutant decides that
as he's already here he might as well check it out first...as
the mutant's size 15 boot steps down on the bar floor a great
shout of

'GET OUT MUTANT SCUM..WE DON'T SERVE YOUR FILTH HERE!'

bellows forth from the barman, a small, unkempt man with
a scraggly beard. Having to stay in town for a few days
and not wanting this kinda trouble just yet, Vat69 turns
on heel without a word and carries on down the street towards
Mama Mias. (Wow Rich, a force for restraint?)

Buster Sprocket arrives at the east side of town. He listens to
the mutant getting lambasted at the door of The Hole and then
watches the green giant head towards Mama Mias. The Vault Tech decides
a more thorough recce of the area is need and thus moves into the
shade for a spot of serious "watching".

Vat69 arrives at Mama Mias, the mutant looks inside and then
dips a toe into the building's interior. No shouts or insults or
people rushing to get out ensue. Somewhat surprised but heartened the
green giant gingerly steps inside and takes a seat at a table.

'Bambino, whatta do you vant?' (in one of Sukh's really bad and
rubbish Italian accents) inquires a large plumb woman in a stained
apron.

'Er...what to you have to eat?' asks Vat69.

'We have everything you could ever want to eat bambino' continues
the woman in a voice louder than need be.

'Er...well...what can I get for 10 bottlecaps?'

'For 10 bottlocaps bambino, I will give you Mama Mia's Extra
Special Spaghetti Bolognaise Surprise' barks the aproned woman.

'er...ok' replies the mutant somewhat timidly.

The woman shouts some more before disappearing into the
kitchen where a lot of 'eek eek CHUNK!..eeek eeek CHUNK!'
sounds can be heard.

Vat69 takes this oppurtunity to have a look around the
resturant but none of the other patrons pay him any mind and he
doesn't see anything else of special interest.

'Bambino! Here is your meal' shouts the waitress planting
a huge plate down on the table, on which rests a massive
pyramid of stringy pasta and meat.

Vat69 looks down at the mound and gives it a sniff, hmm smells
ok..in fact it smells...good?, he lifts up a fork and then looks
back towards the beaming waitress.

Let the troughing commence.

Meanwhile, Jonah is thinking at Becky's Bar, Rocco is annoying
one of the guards, Josiah is still counting drug dealers, Alex
is strangely withdrawn and Buster is still doing a deep deep
recce from the safety of a shady spot.

20 mins later.

'Would you like some more Bambino?..on the house?'

20 more mins later.

Jonah is still thinking at Becky's Bar, Rocco is still annoying
one of the guards, Josiah is still counting drug dealers, Alex
is still strangely withdrawn and Buster is still doing a deep deep
recce from the safety of a shady spot.

'More?'

30 minutes later.

Jonah is *still* thinking at Becky's Bar, Rocco is *still* annoying
one of the guards, Josiah is *still* counting drug dealers, Alex
is *still* strangely withdrawn and Buster is *still* doing a deep deep
recce from the safety of a shady spot.

Vat69 loosens the nail on this belt, his green stomach oozes out over the
threshold. 'Gawd damn', thinks the green mutant, 'that the first time
I've had my fill since I was born in this accursed country'. The mutant
issues a sigh while sipping down a Gecko beer.

As the waitress clears away the mound of empty plates, Vat69
inquires...

'Mama, thats the best food I've ever tasted, but where'd you get
all that beef?...didn't see no brahmin herds around here?'

The waitress gives one of the mutant green cheek's a little tweak
(steady), 'Bambino, we have no beef here, it's rat'

Vat69 slowly gulps down a mouthful of beer.

'Rat?'

Frantic nodding overly jovial waitress head.

Tears begin to roll down the scarred and pitted cheeks of Vat69.

He manages to croak out a 'Just like mother used to make' before
collapsing into a fit of mutant tears...

'Bambino' utters the waitress as she grabs the mutant and gives
him a big hug.

Meanwhile, Jonah is still thinking at Becky's Bar, Rocco is still
annoying one of the guards, Josiah is still counting drug dealers,
Alex is still strangely withdrawn and Buster has finally cracked
and decides to recce 'The Hole' establishment. A sarcastic 'woooooo'
sound issues from the B.O.X.

So Vault Technician 3rd Class, Buster Sprocket, walks over to
'THE HOLE' and enters said establishment through a pair of
swingdoors. The bar inside is pretty empty (just the drifters
and the dregs) and Buster is spooked a little when his wandering
eyes establish eye contact with the evil looking barman.

'Well you coming in or not stranger?' he barks.

Seeing no serious threat from within, Buster strides confidently
over to the barman and orders a beer. The barman grabs a tankard and
begins to pour the drink..

*Sound similar to a toilet being flushed after a big dump*

A warm, murky and refreshing glass of Chango Beer is pushed
over to Buster.

'That'll be 5 bottle caps' informs the bearded barman.

Buster's brow furrows, 'aint that a little steep for a beer?..
..Becky's does those for 2 bottlecaps'

A vein throbs on the forehead of the barman...'yeah and
the sun shines outta the bitch's arse too...now you want this
beer or don't ya stranger?' is his coarse reply.

Not wanting trouble, Buster proffers up the 5 bottle caps and
take a big gulp of his Chango beer....and immediately regrets
it...its the worst drink he's ever had (yes even worst than
Guinness..8-)..)

An unemotional robotic voice whispers from within Buster's
backpack

'Hmmm...preliminary chemical anaylsis indicates 5% Brahmin
semen..funny....wait...and thats not all...'

The Vault Tech looks back up into the smirking face of the
barman..

'What's the matter stranger..the beer not to your taste?'
snorts the slimy dude.

*A sound of something breaking inside Buster's Head'

The Vault Dweller lashs an arm across the bar and grabs
the barman by the scruff of his dirty shirt. Buster then
spits out the mouthful of Chango beer all over the face
of the no-longer smiling barman.

'Why you son of a ....' roars the barman as he wipes
the beer off his face before reaching for something
underneath the bar'

The stinging sensation in his eyes elaspses as the cursing
barman looks up to stare down the barrel of a 9mm pistol.

Buster pushes his pistol into the dirty snout of the
dirty barman ...'I was just leaving...so don't try anything
stupid'

The barman's face is a purple mass of pure rage, however
he decides to keep his mouth shut and raises his hands.

Buster, noting that no one else in the bar is interested
in interferring, slowly backs his way towards the swingdoors and
then into the street beyond.

The Vault Dweller then casually holsters his pistol and
starts to walk back to the other end of town. Comprehensive
recce of the "east side" obviously concluded.

Buster has moved about 3 metres before he hears a sound
of running footsteps from within the bar and then the
sudden appearance of the dirty evil barman through the
swingdoors. He looks thoroughly *pissed* off, more so,
with the large shotgun in his hands.

Survival instincts kick in as within the passing of a
heartbeat, Buster

a) quickdraws his gun
b) draws a bead on the barman
c) shoots the barman in the guts

The barman falls to the floor, blood pumping out of the
hole in his gizzards. Even so the enraged fellow still
has enough fight in him to try and line up Buster in his sights
from the floor...

*cue slow mo on*

Another bullet taking the barman in the left shoulder, a
painful grimace on the barman's face, the shotgun
tumbling from his hands, another bullet plowing into his
upper chest, the barman's body jerking from the impact,
a silent scream issuing from bloody lips, yet another bullet
wound appearing adjacent to the previous one on the barman's
bloodstained (yet dirty) shirt, the evil, stupid fule lying
motionless on the floor....

Buster's face set, his now silent gun smoking in his hand...

*cue slow mo off*

Buster looks down on the riddled body of the dirty, scraggly
bearded ex-barman before looking around to see what interest
this little commotion has drawn. He stares towards the
Slaver Compound as 6 armoured guys head in his direction.
The Vault Dweller considers his options and then begins to
reload his pistol.

The six dudes walk up to Buster before enclosing him in
a wide circle.

'It was a fair fight....I don't want any trouble' begins Buster
looking from man to man.

'WELL YOU'VE GOT TROUBLE!' yells one Slaver dude as the
circle of men begin to close in on the vault dweller.

'Hey look, the dude served me up a pint of *piss* I
wasn't looking for a fight but he wouldn't let it lie
...and anyway this hasn't got anything to do with you' continues
the Vault Technician.

'Well I got news for you bub, this *has* got something to
do with us' yells the same Slaver dude, obviously the
man in charge of this group...'you see Keith here *he
gives the slain man a kick* ran THE HOLE for us..this
is *our* establishment....so you don't like the beer here
hey?...well lets see about that.'

With that, the Slaver dude turns away from Buster and walks 
into the bar, leaving his 5 buddies to push and prod a confused 
looking Vault Technician through the same swingdoors.

Buster finds himself hurled against the counter and looks
up as the Slaver in Charge (SiC?..lets call him Mad Dog..8-)..)
picks up another tankard and starts filling it from the
Chango pump.

*Sound of toilet being flushed after a large dump*

THUD.

A tankard of beer plops down on the wooden counter in front 
of the Vault Dweller. He looks at the swilling, frothy liquid and
then back up at Mad Dog.

'Drink' commands the mad, smiling, pyschotic Slaver dude.

Buster looks behind him and notes the numerous large
calibre guns pointing in his direction, the smirking
broken toothed grins, the chuckles of laughter...its
just him against 6 heavily armoured Slaver guys.... 

He turns back slowly to face Mad Dog and picks up the 
glass of Chango beer in one, clammy hand....
  
*A Small Interruption for Sukh's Rabid Rant Hour*

Strange sheet happens in the real world, there are things 
out there that just don't have a rational explanation, 
things that just *are* while defying rules of common sense
..how bees fly?, quantum entanglement, why so many people 
rate Memento, etc but the really weird one I want to examine 
here is why 2 women, placed in a stressful situation for a 
period of time, will suddenly start menstruating at precisely 
the same time during a month..why?..how?...do their joy 
departments communicate to each other at a telepathic 
level or something?...

But I know what your thinking...what the feck has this got to
with the recap?...please gentlemen...rest your sphincters...I 
only wish to proffer the theory that men have something 
similar..I call it Male Combat Awareness(MCA)...place a group of 
males together in a stressful situation, for a period of time, 
and they too can communicate to each other at the telepathic 
level...and to prove my theory watch what happens next...'

*End of Rabid Segment*

Buster Sprocket looks into the murky, yellow liquid in the
tankard..and then back at the sneering face of Mad Dog...

*cue chime tune like that out of A Few Dollars More*

'..ting..ting-ti-ting..ting-ti-ting..ting-ti-ting...'

Jonah Travis, for reasons unknown, quickly drains his glass,
throws some bottle caps on the bar and then heads at high speed
towards the "east side" of town. Rocco the dog however decides
to continue with his little game of try-to-shag-the-guards-leg and 
ignores his master's departure.

'..ting..ting-ti-ting..ting-ti-ting..ting-ti-ting...'

Josiah Sawbones, spontaneously bores of his count-the-drug-
dealers-in-the-street game and unslings his plasma rifle and 
then heads at the double quick towards the "east end" of town.

'..ting..ting-ti-ting..ting-ti-ting..ting-ti-ting...'

Vat69 quite unexpectedly drains his bottle of Gecko beer, sucks
his stomach back into the recesses of his reeking pants and rises
to his feet. He swiftly pays and then hugs the waitress at 
Mama Mias before leaving the resturant and unslinging his large
flamethrower. 

'..ting..ting-ti-ting..ting-ti-ting..ting-ti-ting...'

Alex Mantilla suddenly jolts up and shakes her head. She then
begins to brush off the things that have accumulated around her 
during the previous 4 hours of total non-action. 

She sweeps the dust off her shoulders, the tumbleweed from around 
her feet and the groping hands of some wacked-out junkie from around
her firm, yet pliant breasts. Finally clear of all debris, she 
spies the retreating back of Josiah Sawbones heading into the east end 
of town...not really knowing why, she decides to follow him anyway...

'..ting ting-ti-ting...ting-ti....ting...ting...ting...'

*the chimes slowly...painfully slowly...come to an slow end*

Buster is still staring into the cruel, malevolent eyes of Mad Dog.

Jonah, Josiah, & Alex suddenly arrive together outside the 
'The Hole' bar on the east side of town...Vat69 strides slowly 
towards them from the south, flamer at the ready. 

The humans draw weapons and then move towards the swing-doors.

On cue, Buster Sprocket throws the contents of the beer glass
into the smiling face of Mad Dog...

Cue Slow Mo On

*The stream of amber liquid moving slowly towards Mad Dog's face*

*Bullet time camera sweep to just behind Mad Dog's shoulder..
centred on the beer stream*

*Josiah, Jonah and Alex thundering through the swing doors like
Redford and Newman, guns drawn & firing*

Cue Slow Mo Off

'Whoooooooosh'

Mad Dog falls backwards against a bar wall holding his face and
screaming 'oh no my eyes!'. Buster is clubbed from behind by one
of the other Slaver dudes, whom Josiah then shoots with his plasma 
rifle..a uncharacteristically weak shot, which results in the target
*only* falling back against the counter with a burn mark on his 
midrift...(there is much nashing of teeth & vigorous outbursts of
implausibility from the Kell corner) 

Jonah shoots...Alex shoots...the Slavers shoot....all hell breaks 
loose in the bar.

Meanwhile, Vat69 approaches the bar at his steamroller-like pace, 
the mutant watchs with amusement as bits of the bar begin to fly
outwards and the cacophony of gunfire increases in intensity from
within. He then spies the *other* squad of Slaver guards heading 
towards the bar from the Slaver compound...Vat69 slows his 
approach to a now, almost unbelievably, slow crawl.

As the two groups paths begin to converge, Vat69 has a enough
time to watch the figure of Buster 'Hard Fecker' Sprocket leap
out of a bar window and then run like a bastad towards the 'nice'
end of town. A shotgun booms out after him, hitting the fleeing
Vault Tech square in the back. The impact lifts Buster off his
feet and sends his sprawling into the remains of a ruined building.

Vat69 winces, now that hadda smart thinks the green mutant. He
then watchs Josiah and Alex back out of the bar to stand at the
swing doors, the duo continuing their almost non-stop firing. The
pair are oblivious to the impending arrival of the other Slaver
group just to their rear. 

However, Vat69 is not, the mutant suddenly sprints fowards and
let rip with the business end of a M9E1-7 Flamethrower at the
newcomers. 4 of the Slavers have just enough time to glance in the
mutant's direction with a look of bafflement before disappearing 
within a sea of flames.

The sudden eruption of sound from the east shakes Rocco out of 
his doggy carnal desires with the guard's leg. The somewhat 
relieved guard watchs the large, muscular dog bound out
of Becky's and bark his way down the street.

The smoking, glowing plasma rifle of Josiah Sawbones suddenly 
issues a 'FIZT!' sound before all the lights go out...the shaman
looks down at his inert weapon and then back up into the concerned 
face of Alex Mantilla.

'Arse' 

The pair check the situation...slavers guys alive inside, slaver
guards outside, more slaver guards running out of Slaver Compound,
plasma rifle broken, Alex out of bullets.....Vat69 coming towards 
them with a flamethrower....

...hmmm..time to cut our losses (i.e. PJ/Jonah as he is now, the
only party member still *inside* the bar)...and make a tactical
withdrawal...the duo run like the yellowbelly-leave-our-people-
behind-bastads-they-are..right PJ?

Vat69 lumbers up to the swingdoors, the stubby end of his
weapon of painful death is then thrust inbetween....Jonah looks
up and his life flashes in front of his eyes...the tracker turns 
to make yet another last ditch heroic leap...

'WHHHOOOOSHHHHH....ROOOOOOOAAAARRRRR!.....*nasty burning sounds*

Jets of flame shoot out of all the bar windows, with the flying
figure of Jonah Travis a nanosecond ahead of the firestorm. The tracker 
falls to the ground hard and then stays down.

The bar is engulfed in flames. The screams of burning slaver 
dudes therein, terrible to behold. 

Work complete, and having exhausted his flamer fuel cylinder, the 
green mutant slings his mighty weapon and then too makes good
his escape.

The sound of burning eventually dies down as Jonah turns over to 
stare up into the faces of a large group of mean, angry and 
thoroughly dessip off Slaver dudes..

Even before he can utter the now, near famous line of 

'Guys...I can explain this' 

the luckless tracker is clubbed unconscious by many, many, *many* 
rifle butts.

The rest of the party regroup in a derelict building a little
outta town (drawn together telepathically no doubt via the
MCA ability mentioned earlier). 

They discover that Buster hasn't been slain as hoped for by the 
pinpoint shotgun blast. No, as luck would have it, the full force 
of the attack was taken by the burned, dented, battered, cut, torn,
all lights out and now pellet-ridden sides of B.O.X. 

The AI mind's casing has *definitely* looked better and Buster 
decides that perhaps repairs really are in order. The Vault Tech 
unpacks his toolkit and gets to work while the others sit down to 
discuss strategy and also contemplate what those 'orrible, 
butt-fecking Brady bunch of Slavers will do with the tender, 
innocent form of Jonah Travis.

Meanwhile, in a sea of nausea and pain, awakens the hapless
tracker known as Jonah Travis. His body aches all over, his
head the worst affected of all, Through searing pain, blurring
vision and waves of sickness, the tracker raises his head to take 
in his surroundings. 

He is surrounded by sullen and dejected looking tribal folk, each
having a large "S" branded on their foreheads. They ignore the
wandering gaze of the tracker as he continues his appraisal. 

A small dilapidated shack, some comfort from the cold desert night,
a large perimeter fence, meshed metal, surrounding the compound. A
sturdy looking door set into a brick wall, the only exit to the outside 
world. Pairs of Slavers guards patrolling just outside the fence....

Jonah rises to a sitting position with some effort, his head
feels like it's on fire, he lifts a hand and rubs his forehead
gingerly...his fingers feel the coarse lines of a recent branding.

'Great' he finally whispers, understanding what hand fate has dealt him.

A old, bald and tubby man walks over to Jonah and helps him to stand.

'Thanks man' begins the tracker, 'my name's Jonah Travis'.

'Vic' replies the old man shaking the open hand proffered by Jonah.

'Vic?' exclaims the tracker, 'as in Klamath Falls Vic?' he finishes.

'Yeah, I'm from Klamath Falls...how'd you know that?' replies the
surprised trader.

Jonah explains the whole situation to Vic, the village of Arroyo, the 
fact he's their chosen one, the G.E.C.K., location of Vault 13, that 
he's here to find/rescue Vic...(the trader's raise's a eyebrow at the
last statement). After getting Vic up to speed, Jonah asks the trader 
just how the hell he ended up in here?

'Oh..I promised Mertzger I could get him a piece of Vault tech that
he needed...when that went sour, he threw me in here' explains the
old man.

'What's he after?' 

'Oh, some kind of lost tech communication device..a quantum
communicator...I think he called it..' replies Vic 

'and how the hell where you gonna get that?' continues the
curious tracker.

'Oh I have my sources..or *had* anyway..not much use in here eh?' 

'Well we won't be in here long, I have friends on the outside' informs
Jonah confidently ' and they won't rest a moment while I'm stuck in here'..

Cut to: Sleeping forms of the rest of the party, bottles of beer and 
take-out food containers littering the surrounding area. 

"WOOF WOOF BARK"

Jonah raises his head and scans the dark area of town just beyond
the Slaver compound...he spies a pair of yellowish glassy eyes
peering at him from amongst the wreakage of a derelict building.

'Rocco?' utters the tracker '..is that you dog?...'

'WOOF'

'come here boy...come on boy....*whistlely noises*' continues
the Tracker...moving closer to the mesh fence.

Vic throws a arm in front of Jonah, 'Erm I wouldn't go too
close to that thing...it's electrified' he informs quickly.

A slow smile forms on the face of Jonah Travis, pushing away
Vic's arm gently, he called out for his Dog once more. 'Rocco!'

The mutt appears cautiously out of the gloom and sits a few feet 
away from the fence, tongue lolling, head at an angle.

'Here boy' croons Jonah, 'help me escape boy...bite the fence 
Rocco, come on boy...BITE the fence...'

Rocco angles his head a little more and gives a confused whine.
He's not the only one who's confused as Vic the trader backs away 
from the strange tracker and his dog.

'Come on Rocco, bite it...like this..' continues Jonah mimicing a
biting-the-fence action with his mouth.

Slowly, Rocco pads up to the fence and gives it a sniff, he
then looks back at Jonah with another confused stare & whine.

'YES BOY...good....now BITE the fence' purrs the tracker as he
slowly backs away from the metal mesh.

Rocco gives the metal mesh another sniff and then backs away too
...it smells strange...and the last time he'd marked a fence that
smelt this strange...he hadn't been able to feel his hind legs
for a week....

'DON'T YOU MUTHER-FECKING MOVE AWAY DOG...' shouts Jonah falling
on all fours on the desert floor so as to stare at the dog at
doggy eye level.

Rocco stops his retreat and stares back at this master.

'YES...STOP RIGHT THERE..YOUR GONNA BITE THIS FENCE DOG!..THATS
A DIRECT COMMAND FROM YOUR ALPHA LEADER! snarls Jonah bearing his 
teeth.

Before things can get anymore surreal, the Doggy/Jonah commotion 
brings a wandering Slaver patrol in to investigate. A bullet
zings near the ground near Rocco sends the mutt running away
into the darkness and Jonah scampering off towards the shed area.

'KEEP AWAY FROM THE FENCE TRIBAL SCUM..YOU'VE BEEN WARNED'

'What was that all about?' inquires Vic as Jonah crawls up to
him inside the shack.

'Oh nothing, just disciplining the dog..*cough*..' answers
the tracker, propping himself up against a side wall.

'What now?' continues Vic.

'Now we wait...if I know my friends they should be hatching a
rescue plan anytime now.' states Jonah confidently.

Cut to: Snoring and prone forms of the rest of the party. Vat69
rolling over and then scratching one large mutant buttock with one
large mutant hand. A flickering light plays over the sleeping
bodies, Buster Sprocket is still affecting repairs on B.O.X. with
a pair of pliers and a blowtorch.....

Night changes to dawn and then into a bright sunny morning. Jonah
Travis is shaken awake by Vic. The tracker rubs his eyes and then
peers at a squad of Slaver Guards heading in his direction.

They haul a confused Jonah up onto his feet and then frogmarch
him into the confines of the Slaver HQ. He's forces into a 
large room where a large, bald man clothed in leather armour is
talking to pair of Slaver Guards. The man turns to face Jonah
as he's lead in, and Jonah looks into a gaunt, evil face with a
black eyepatch covering the left eye. A thick, viscious scar 
runs down the left cheek, partially covered by the patch.

'Now...your part of the group that destroyed our drinking
establishment aint ya' questions the bald man, staring at Jonah 
with one amazingly intense, blue eye.

'No' quips Jonah and gets a rifle butt against his shoulders
for his troubles. The tracker falls to one knee before straightening.

'AINT YOU?' askes the patch dude again.

'Yes' replies Jonah in a resigned voice.

'Well alright then, continues the bald man, 'not many folk
go against me around here...you've got guts, that for sure'

'and you are'

'I'm Mertzger' replies ..um...Mertzger. 8-)

'Oh' 

Mertzger nods, before continuing...'Now I'm not one for small
talk so lets down to the point (and Sukh's fingers are tired).
..now..I'm offering you a way out of here..interested?'

Jonah perks up quickly, this isn't the way it goes, he was
expecting to be queered up by Mr Big and here is this one-eyed
dude asking him whether he want to get out of here..... 
  
'Sure..SURE...I'm interested, very interested' blurts the tracker
the words tumbling out of his mouth....

'Good, now this is what I need', continues Mertgzer as one of 
the other Slaver dudes hands Jonah a piece of cloth with a 
diagram of some device pencilled on it...' 

'Ah..' begins Jonah, 'if I'm not mistakened this is a 
quantum communicator right?'

A eyebrow with a scar running through it rises unexpectedly.

'So, you have knowledge of lost tech eh' continues Mertzger,
'...or did you just talk to Vic in the yard?...no, that 
doesn't matter...I just want the device..and you and your group
can find it here' he jabs his finger down on a map of the
surrounding area lying on a table. 

Jonah peers at the map and makes a mental note of the area, a 
few miles northwest of town. He looks back as Mertzger as
the bald man contines speaking...

'You get me this, and you and Vic can go free...no strings
attached...agreed?'

Jonah's eyes glaze over...his mind goes into overdrive
thinking of the possibilites...me and Vic free....why I'll
be a hero..and if Vic knows where Vault 13 is ...sheet
I won't even need the others anymore...all the lost treasures
will be mine....and mine alone....

Agreed? asks Mertzger again

The tracker issues a timid 'yes' and then goes back into
full plan plot mode....a stupid grin arcing up on his
gullible face...

'and make sure you pack your wellies' continues Mertzger
smiling at his private joke...Several of the Slaver guards
present enter into the sniggering....

'watch out for the mutated giant lizards underground too'
issues one gaurd..

*more sniggering*

Jonah is still lost in thought, 'sheet I'll be so RICH..
..so loaded...I could own all of California...'

'and get hold of some Rad-X pills to cope with the
high background radiation...you can buy them at Tubby's...'

*sniggering rising in tempo*

'I'll have more girls than my tongue can cope with...and I'll
have a wet T-shirt competition *every* night....'

'oh...remember you need to get the power generator 
working before the lift will work, if you want to get you access to
the lower levels...'

*sniggering turns to chuckling*

'But hang on...what to tell the guys...I can't just say
the slavers let me go...no...something a little bit more 
cunning'

'plus the lift door's trapped, you need to open up the 
secret access panel on the east wall to disconnect the
security system'

*mucho laughter*

'...I kicked Mertzger in the nuts, jumped over his desk, 
kung fu chopped the two other guards and then slipped out the back...'
   
'yeah with the security system...remember you cut the blue
wire...NOT the red wire....'

*belly aching laughter*

'...pole vaulted over the electrified fence and ran into the night...
yeah...it could just work..' concludes Jonah, slowly slipping out 
of his trance-like state...

'Well...I guess you better be on your way..you can
pick up your things from the guard at the front door..
..now do you remember all I said'

'Sure sure Mr Mertzger, we get you this', pointing to
the diagram of the quantum communicator, 'and you let
Vic go..' replies Jonah.

After a few more minutes Jonah finds himself outside
in the fresh morning air. A free man again.

Meanwhile, back inside the Slaver HQ, a hard, evil, eyepatched
head turns to face a group of Slavers guards.

'Follow them, if they get the device, then all well
and good, finish em there and then, whispers Mertzger
'and if they fail...well...maybe the Gecko's won't
want to feed again so soon...'

The smiles on the faces of the amassed Slaver Guards
match that of their evil & devious Slaver leader.

'YES!' roars the tracker as he runs out of the east
side of town. Rocco the dog returning swiftly to his side.

Switching on this MCA, the tracker soon locates the 
party camp site...as he approaches the derelict building..a 
shrill, angry, almost child-like voice drifts out towards 
him & his dog.

'You tink this is a repwair!...'

'It could be worse' replies a voice Jonah recognizes as Buster,
'....it was a easy mistake to make..ok' it continues...

'NEVER have I met such incompwetence' thunders the shrill voice
once more,'...Technician 3rd Class is too high a wank for you...'

'ok, ok...I'll unweld the voice module the next time 
we get some R&R..it was a simple mistake to make' replies the voice
of Buster.

'the next twime!..there will me no wext time you incompwentent
bwuffoon!' continues the Tweetie Pie like voice.

The exchanges come to an abrupt halt as Jonah steps into 
view. A barrage of confused half-questions are directed 
at the smug looking tracker.

'Travis....how did you?...didn't you?...captured?..Slavers?
...Mr Big...WEEEEEE.WEEEEE...WOOF!'
 
Jonah lays down his epic tale on capture, torture, heroic escape
and means to release Vic nice and phat upon the gathered party. A 
period of time goes by only puncutated by sudden gasps and 
several raised eyebrows

Afterwards, only Buster has the vindicitiveness to ask...

'But what if he's cut a deal with Mertzger? why if he's working
for them...and he's gonna sell us all down the dry river bed?'

The others look at Jonah and think on the harsh words of 
Mr Sprocket...Jonah protests his innocence loudly, saying
that they have no cause for concern...he'll be fighting
toe-to-toe with the rest of the party right down to his last 
bullet......you'll never catch him refusing to fire his gun to 
save a comrade....

These fine words soothes the fears within the party somewhat.
The reformed team of 'Certain Death for Vault 18' swiftly
break camp and head back out into the desert...their destination
as directed by the tracker Jonah 'Fight-to-the-last-bullet'
Travis.

FIN (phew)