Title: Tonight
Author: Lark
E-mail: theagents1013@yahoo.com
Rating: NC-17…if you are offended by, or too young to
read, adult content, please stop here!
Category: MSR, a miniscule amount of angst
Spoilers: The End
Summary: Feeling a bit angsty, Scully invites Mulder
over to talk about the issues at hand…and something quite
(un)expected happens…
Feedback: Always
Disclaimer: Not mine, not mine, not mine-I’m just
responsible for placing them in compromising positions… ;)
Author’s Note: Well, this is my first piece written in
the first person. I hope it goes over well, and I
have to say that I think it’s my best. I know that
that sounds a bit arrogant, but that’s the way I feel
about it!! This is sort of a shippy piece, though NOT a mushy one. Enjoy!
**************************************
Tonight (1/1)
**************************************
Tonight, I come home and try to gather my spinning,
wild thoughts. My body is tense, but tired, and I
feel such torn emotions that I know I won’t be able to
sleep easily. Half of me wants to go after him and
fill my role as comforter and listener, a supporter in
everything, even if I don’t always agree with him.
But the other half is yelling to let him be, let him
do as I am, and gather his thoughts until he can piecesomething together.
When we went our separate ways tonight, I felt that
there was still something left to be said. Something
had been left out. When he had finally allowed
himself to be held, standing before the charred
remains of our haven, I felt a mix of relief and
sorrow, but then he had stiffened so that I nearly
jumped away from him. Then I felt his strong arms
around me, trying to comfort me as I was trying to
comfort him. It made a world of difference, but we
both knew that this was the hardest blow. All our
work and effort for the past five years had been in
that office-sweat, blood, and tears. Now it was
gone…what could we do? I am NOT a crier, but thinking
about it again has started the tears rolling down my
cheeks for the umpteenth time this evening. It is the
most unfair thing to have happened, and I’m sure
Mulder is feeling it even harder than I am.
The phone rings shrilly, breaking my silence and
cutting off my tears. I lift the receiver to my ear, knowing who it is.
“Mulder?”
“Hey Scully. Did I wake you?”
“No…I don’t think I’ll be sleeping much tonight.”
“I can’t sleep either. What are you up to?”
“Oh, nothing. I’m just thinking everything over and
trying to make sense of it all. It’s not working.”
“Listen, Scully. I know it was that rotten smoking
bastard who pulled this one on us. I was talking to
one of the firefighters and he said it looked like an
accident, probably caused by a cigarette not properly put out.”
“Well, he pulled a hell of a thing on us then, didn’t
he? Mulder, this wasn’t just some little thing. I
have no doubt that it was “the rotten smoking
bastard”, but there’s always a deeper meaning. And we
can’t make assumptions based on a firefighter’s
initial observation. Whatever we think, we can’t jump
to conclusions until everything else is ruled out.”
I’m not going to add the fact that I thought Diana
Fowley’s abrupt return had something to do with all
this. That might just add insult to injury.
“That’s my practical Scully. Even in the face of all
this, you’re more level-headed than ever.”
I smile wryly. Who else is going to be the
level-headed one? Certainly not Mulder. If one of us
doesn’t think rationally, we’re going to have issues,
worse than the ones that are already there. I sigh over the phone.
“Mulder, what’re we going to do?”
“I have no idea. But they can’t get away with this so easily.”
“Hey…it’s sort of hard to talk about all this over the
phone. Why don’t you come over, or would you like me to stop over your place?”
“No, I’ll drop by there. It’s no problem. I’m practically in the area anyway.”
I almost laugh. It’s so like him to drive aimlessly
(or not so aimlessly) and just call on his cell phone.
“Okay. I’ll see you in a few, then.”
We hang up, and not five minutes later, my doorbellrings. I should have known.
I open the door, and there he is. He greets me with a
small smile and then folds me into his arms in a tight
hug. I hug him back with all my might. I imagine at
first that it is to comfort him more than to comfort
me, but then he tilts my chin up with his fingers and
stares straight through my carefully built defenses.
“Scully. You’ve been crying?” I know he’d never,
EVER mention this observation under other
circumstances, but perhaps he knew that I’d want his
comfort tonight, rather than pushing it away like I
usually did. I could probably count on one hand the
number of times I’ve broken down in front of him.
“The red eyes gave it away, huh?” I start to laugh a
little, and then the tears come again, so that I’m
laughing and crying at the same time. He just holds
me until everything runs its course. His body relaxes
immediately from the tenseness it held moments before,
probably in expectation of my usual cold “I’m fine.”
followed by the realization that I am going to let him
into my emotions. When I finally realize that we’re
still standing in the doorway, I try to compose
myself, and we walk into the living room together. He
sits down on the couch, so I tell him to hang on a
second, and I go to the kitchen to pour two glasses of
wine. I bring them out and sit down close to him, so
that our thighs are touching. It’s a warm feeling
that courses down my spine, and as we sip the wine in
silence, an even warmer, more mellow feeling overcomes
me. I begin to relax after a bit, and I feel more able to talk.
No words come yet, though. So I curl up next to him,
leaning against his shoulder with my head resting
against his chest, finally relaxing enough to feel the
day’s exhaustion creeping up on me. He absently
strokes my hair and kisses my forehead. Those
trivial, but intimate caresses are so few and far
between, but they are a silent symbol of the love and
respect we have for each other. I know he loves me,
and he knows the same of me, but I don’t think we are
quite ready to confront those feelings out loud. For
now, I’m perfectly content and happy to rest at ease
in his embrace. I sigh deeply.
“Scully…” He breaks the silence with a quiet voice.
“Yeah?”
“I’m glad you’re here for me.”
“I’m glad that you’re here for me, too.”
This time, when he bends his head to kiss my forehead
again, on impulse, I tilt my face up further so that
his lips land full on mine. They are much softer and
firmer than I have ever imagined, warm and comforting,
and I suppose he realizes that his lips are not
planted on my forehead, because they linger. He
finally runs his tongue over my bottom lip, and I part
my lips slightly to give him the entry he desires. As
our kiss deepens, my senses swirl around, mixing with
the wine and the tears, till everything is just one
big whirlwind. I feel a dizzying mixture of relief
and unfulfilled desire as he finally takes his mouth
away from mine. Relief from the whirlwind, although
my head is still spinning, but I want more. This is
the man against whom no other ever measures up, no
matter how hard I’ve tried. I gaze up into his eyes,
wordlessly searching the hazel orbs that have
brightened to green, searching always, for the answers
that neither of us has ever needed to look for. There
are other questions that we strive to answer every
day, but these now are more personal, more intimate, and now I want to look.
I find my questions being answered as he brings his
mouth down onto mine again, this time a bit roughly,
slightly more urgent than before. Our breathing
quickens as my passion for him is matched in his
passion for me. I have gotten over the fact that I
have started this, that it is I who has finally sent
the last wall crashing down around us, crumbling like
the ashes that are the remains of our safe haven.
Ever my analytical self, I wonder if the reason for
this is my breakdown before, letting him see my
weakness and allowing him to try to restore my
strength by just being there. His presence has always
been a comfort, but this is one of the rare times
where I have asked for that comfort. Perhaps this
would not be happening had I not allowed him to see all of me.
The kissing becomes more intense than ever, if that is
at all possible, but then, things between Mulder and I
have never exactly been calm. Quiet, maybe, at times, but never calm.
I finally abandon all thoughts, whether logical or
irrational, and throw myself purely into the physical
realm into which we have stepped. The sensations are
amazing and more real than anything I have ever felt
before. His hands are warm, and the light calluses on
his fingertips awaken my skin with their rough but
gentle feel. Then his hands are in my hair, pulling
me closer to him, reaching to fill a void that is
slowly and steadily becoming full. His hands are
everywhere now, running through my hair, down my back,
running up again and cupping my breasts. My fingers
are delved into his hair as well, trying to bring his
mouth closer to mine because I feel a great need to be
even closer to him than I am now. I want to be a part
of him, physically, spiritually, and mentally, and it
seems that he understands this, for even as I am
thinking this thought, he is lifting me up, setting me
on my feet, all the while kissing me fervently as we
slowly make our way into my bedroom. And I can’t help
but wonder at this new turn of events. This man whom
I have loved for what feels like an eternity is about
to be joined with me in the most sacred way. This
isn’t just sex, it is pure love and want and need. We
don’t have to say those three little words to confirm what we already know.
I continue thinking this as he slowly unbuttons my
shirt and moves his hands to part the fabric away from
my body. Our lips haven’t parted once, save that
split second earlier. I unbutton his slacks and as he
kicks them away, I feel his hands moving under the
elastic band of my pajamas, slipping them over my
hips, and they fall to the floor. I step out of them,
still feeling the incredibly sexy feeling of his hands
sliding down my bare thighs. My skin jumps and
shivers under his touch, and for a moment, his hands
are back in my hair, drawing me in tighter to deepen
our kiss once again. My hands slide up and under his
T-shirt and we have to part for a moment as I pull it
over his head. We resume our kissing as if it never
stopped, eyes still tightly closed. We are relying on touch alone.
My fingers streak down his chest, towards his growing
erection and I feel a wave of pride at the fact that I
am causing this. I slide my hands under the waistband
of his boxers and slowly lower them, letting them fall
into our ever-larger pile of clothing. As I take him
in my hand, he shudders and a low moan escapes his
throat, the only sound that either of us has made so
far. I run my hand down the length of his shaft, and
at the restless way he moves against me, I feel
slightly empowered. Around his mouth I murmur “Let’s
go to bed.” He lifts me up and lays us down on the
soft mattress. His kissing becomes deeper, yet more
tender and loving as his hands move over my bare body.
His fingertips circle my breasts and run down, down,
further down to my legs. He parts them like water and
slides his fingers inside me, ever so slowly and
gently so that I shudder under his touch, craving
more. I’m hot for him, my body is aroused almost as much as
my mind is, and my senses continue to twirl around
with dizzying speed as he finds my clit and begins to
stroke rhythmically. I moan his name against his lips, because
the sensation he is evoking is wonderful, but tortuous
at the same time. Just as I feel as if I’m going to
lose control, he removes his fingers from me and
concentrates on the kissing again. I’m momentarily
astonished at the abrupt way the feeling has
disappeared, but then I smile wickedly against his
mouth. Two can play at this game, and one indeed is
the loneliest number. I tear my lips from his and
start a long, slow trail of kisses down his neck, his
chest, his stomach, and finally I wrap my lips around
his hard erection. I’m obviously doing something
right because he begins writhing in pleasure, trying
to bite back the moans that are escaping him. I
continue suckling lightly then roughly, gently grazing
my teeth against him, running my tongue against the
tip, until just the right moment. His body tenses,
and then I stop. As I lift my head, I see that his
eyes are still scrunched tightly, hands clenched in
the sheets, waiting for the orgasm that isn’t going to
come. I nearly laugh at the incredulous way he
finally looks at me, and then I start my slow trail of
kisses back up to his mouth again.
“Hey Scully,” he whispers lightly, if a bit raggedly,
in my ear. “Let’s quit with the games, huh?”
“Two can play at any game, Mulder. Except solitaire.”
My point goes home and he grins, a bit astonished
that I can make all the innuendoes he does. I raise
my eyebrows at him, and he catches me again with
another hot kiss. There is nothing gentle about this
one, though, and he nips me lightly with his teeth.
My mouth feels slightly bruised and tender, but this
kissing makes me want him more than ever. He must
understand this suddenly intense need, because in one
quick movement I am under him, and he possesses me
finally, and seemingly forever. I feel him slide into
me, slowly, deliciously, and a wave of passion and
content falls over me as he begins to move. His
movements become longer, harder, and more precise with
every second. Our breathing grows ragged and harsh,
and I feel the friction and heat growing around my
already aroused and tender clit. I can’t get enough
of this and I begin rocking my hips in time with his.
It is apparently overwhelming him, as well. He fits
me perfectly, as if we are built for each other, and
that just adds to the absolute pleasure of our lovemaking.
Finally, finally, I can hold on no longer. The heat
and friction have built up to incredible proportions,
and as I fall into the dazzling, electrifying
explosion of my orgasm, I wonder that I have not been
torn apart. My muscles clench down tightly around him
as I come, and he soon follows me into the depths with a loud moan.
Moments later, when our breathing has become a bit
calmer and more normal, he wraps his arms tightly
around me. He draws me up and over his chest, so that
I am lying over him, and he kisses me tenderly. I
smile, thinking that this is how it all began tonight, with a little kiss that I allowed him to bestow upon
me. He holds me tighter, and we drift towards sleep.
His steady breathing mingled with the sound of his
heartbeat lulls me, and I know that we have done the
best thing we possibly could have. I am more content
than I have been for such a long, long time, and I
finally allow myself to sleep, filling my head with
the thoughts that will make my dreams blissfully peaceful.
**********************************************
The sunshine streams in from the window. It creates
patterns across my bed, which dance as the light
breeze ripples the shade. Mulder stirs under me,
still locked in my embrace, and I in his. I reach my
face up and kiss him lightly on his mouth.
“Good morning.”
His eyes flutter open and he smiles broadly.
"Good morning, G-woman.”
I feel a slight blush creeping up my cheeks at the way
he’s looking at me.
“What?” I ask.
“Nothing…you just look beautiful, even with your hair
all tousled like that.” He smiles at me, and before
he gives me a chance to protest and run to the
bathroom, he swallows me up in another kiss. I have
never felt more complete, and I hope to God that it never ends.
We make slow, lazy love for the rest of the morning.
Everything is finally exactly as it should be, and
while we have bigger problems waiting for us, I think
we can forget for a little while.
The End!
And Happiness Abounds!!
"Oh, and in your eyes, I see what's on my mind..."
~Dave Matthews Band~
“A friend is always good to have, but a lover’s kiss
is better than angels raining down upon me.”
~Dave Matthews Band~