Title: Savior
Author: Agent K
E-mail: theagents1013@yahoo.com
Rating: PG-13 for near-violent acts
Category: Story, light MSR
Spoilers: None
Distribution/Archiving: It would be an honor, but please ask first.
Feedback: Always.
Disclaimer: FOX, Chris Carter, and 1013 Productions own Mulder, Scully, and the X-Files. No infringement intended.

Author’s Note: Be a savior to someone in despair. Don’t turn away, ever.



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Savior (1/1)
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The End Is Near.

I stare blankly at the phrase. No one knows just how true those words, except me. And maybe Scully, although she denies it every chance she gets. But between the two of us, we have collected more evidence of a global conspiracy than most can swallow. A strong brew that must be taken in small doses, or else you die. Death comes in many forms...all faith in your government disappears, if you had any faith to begin with. And, if you pursue the truth, they’ll hunt you down. I have chosen this way and slowly dragged *her* down with me. I have never felt a sharper sting of guilt than at the moment I realized how much has happened to her. Not even when Sam was taken did I have such a strong reaction, inside as well as out. Looking back, I can still feel the same horrid pain, and sometimes it is all I can do to take it and deal with it. Tears streak down my face as I recall the terrible months when she was gone everything was going to hell. I’m a frail person. I know that. Mentally and spiritually, I lack strong conviction and faith in anything except what is in front of me- the just-out-of-reach truth that is always there. I chase it, much as a rabbit does a carrot tied to a string. So why can I not accept that maybe it is not for me, and then move on to better things? For a long time, there was no better thing. Now there is Scully, and even though we don’t speak of it, she is my support, my anchor, and the one who keeps me sane. But the truth *is* for me; I can feel it. She is content to wait until I am free from this awful vice. That much I know. When it is all over, and someday, it will be, we can be together. If I’m still human then. Hell, if I’m even still alive. I have many enemies, and worst of them all is myself. As much as I know Scully is there, I feel that I am too weak to hold out sometimes. I dream of leaving this place and finding my answers elsewhere, whether it be by my own hand, or someone else’s. This thought, to end it all with my own gun, is a comfort, and I play with it longingly. Suddenly the tears dry up, and a purposeful calm comes over me. Turning this thought over and over in my mind, my hand absently reaches for the gun strapped to my hip. It becomes more tantalizing as I remove it and scrutinize its every detail. Not that I need to; I know this means of death better than I know myself. I turn the safety switch off and pick up the weighty piece of metal, placing my finger on the trigger and slowly pointing the barrel towards my temple. How many times have I gone through this same routine? Countless times. I stare down the hollow cylinder and put just the slightest bit of pressure on the trigger.

*Click*

Another tiny amount, and as I hear it, I grow suddenly bolder.

*Click*

One more, and it’s all over. Finally.

Suddenly, a shrill ring breaks the silence of my world, the screaming of my mind. As I lower the weapon and lift the phone to my ear, I hear the most beautiful, heavenly sound.

I hear the voice of my savior.





End.



“Convinced of my deception
I’ve always been a fool
I fear this love reaction
Just like you said I would
A rose could never lie
About the love it brings
And I could never promise
To be any of those things

If I was not so weak
If I was not so cold
If I was not so scared of being broken
Growing old
I would be
I would be

Blessed are the shallow
Depth they’ll never find
Seems to be some comfort
In wounds I try to hide
Exposed beyond the shadows
You take the cup from me
Your dirt removes my blindness
Pain becomes my peace

If I was not so weak
If I was not so cold
If I was not so scared of being broken
Growing old
I would be
I would be

Frail...”

~Jars Of Clay~

Cry as I may
These tears won't wash you away.
~Hold Me Up~
~Dave Matthews Band~