Chapter 3

Yes, they were mistaken, for the shower was still determined to either freeze or boil any pooor person who tried to use it, the back door was decidedly dodgy, the sink that CRAP had said they would unblock was now taking 12 hours to drain

And suddenly (3 weeks later) strange things began to happen in Portsmouth... the shower was fixed, as was the dodgy back door. As for the Sink, well, that is explainable coz the F.I.T did it themselves coz by this point they were a tad miffed with CRAP by this point. As a result of the stress, Nat developed Random Pavarotti disease and is still currently claiming from the EU court of Human Rights for compensation. Christmas crept up and things seemed to be going not too badly for the F.I.T

In fact, things went ok, which in terms of the House was a near miracle, pretty much until the end of the tenancy. The F.I.T even managed to have a sort-of barbecue in the back garden. And lo, time passed and it was indeed time to move out of the House as the Empress of CRAP had rented it out over the summer to other unsuspecting people of the world.

So in order to preserve the 170 pieces of silver that Brassy Women had demanded as a deposit (she had also asked for all the first born children, but the F.I.T's lawyers saw to that) for the next year, the F.I.T cleaned and scrubbed and painted and washed and hoovered. Why? I hear you ask, well the F.I.T had indeed decided that it is "better the enemy you know" - that is to move back to the House for the next year. The more cynical among you may be sniggering and/or wondering why, but such mysteries are not for us to tell in this story.

And thus, when the Empress of CRAP looked over the house she was pleased, as she didn't have to risk THOSE nails by phoning a cleaning company. For there was no reason to withold any or all of the silver. And the summer fools (I mean tenants) moved in. Autumn fell (gently), and our story continues...

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Tune in to the next chapter to see if...
How the F.I.T managed in the final year... IF Brassy Women is still wearing THOSE nails... All this and more, coming soon in the next thrilling installment of : THE HOUSE!

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