Disclaimers: Personally I think Paramount would disclaim any knowledge of this fic if they knew about it. In the meantime, I am writing this for fun and entertainment to amuse my fellow partiers.

This is dedicated to Anne in chicago, listmom beyond peer, and to Noon my archiver who anticipates my requests and finds most of them amusing.

[spouse awakens disgruntled at not getting some sexual relief]

"Harry? What're you doing awake?"

[spouse at computer does not answer]

"Hey Har?" [spouse slides out of bed and wanders into bathroom then walks over to computer, blinks upon observing complex program flowing across the monitor]

"I don't believe this. How long have you been awake?"

"Hours, Tom."

"Oh, Har, you weren't supposed to knock yourself out over this." [spouse rubs partner's tense shoulders]

"Have you any idea how many unsuitable names there are out there?"

"You're right Har, our kids need special names."

"Hmmph! You didn't give me much latitude." [spouse leans back in chair and enjoys the massage]

"So what'd you get so far?"

"Program's still running, but I do have one." [spouse offers proudly]

"Yeah? What is it?"

"Jack!"

[massaging spouse steps back, stops massage] "What! Jack? Har, you might as well call them 1, 2 and 3."

"That might be an idea. 1 of Kim, 2 of Kim, 3 of Kim, then you can have the counterparts 1 of Paris, 2 of..."

[non-massaging spouse walks back to bed in a huff]

"Not funny Harry. We need nice names."

"If you're being so picky, give me an example then." [spouse invites]

[blond haired pilot crosses eyes and thinks for a bit] "Jackson Ruthington-Smythe."

[snorting from spouse seated in front of computer] "You're not pinning *that* on my child."

[spouse pouts and does not answer]

"I'm sorry, Tom. If you want that, it's fine." [spouse placates]

[pout deepens] "My name is Thomas Eugene Paris."

[spouse pushes away from computer, searches for a way to make up while walking toward bed]

"Tom? Have I told you how much I love your name?"

[spouse smiles radiantly]

"And how much I love you?"

[spouse clambers onto bed]

[vitals on both spike for much longer than ten minutes]

The End

Continued in Parenting 302