[Squee-ee-op]

"Computer, locate Ensign Paris."

"Mr. Paris is in Turbolift A."  [bland tone]

[officious throat clearing]  "Ensign Paris. Please respond."

[silence]

"Ensign Paris, please report to the EMH immediately."

[continued silence]

"Ensign Paris, you are aware that I possess a holoemitter which can take me to any place in this ship.  Do you wish me to administer your estrogen and hormonal supplements in the Mess Hall?"

[sigh] "No Doc, I'll be there right away."

[swish]

"What's the big deal Doc?  Couldn't it have waited twenty minutes?"

[prissily aggravated]  "No Mr. Paris, it could not.  In order for you to conceive, I must monitor your estrogen levels closely."

[restless squirm]

[long suffering sigh]  "Sit still, I have a few more tests to run."

[long suffering groan]

"I am curious, Mr. Paris.  If you did not want to conceive, why are you here and not Mr. Kim?"

[mumble]

"Speak up Mr. Paris.  I am not a bat you know."

[click, enter data, hum thoughtfully]

"I lost at cards."

[satisfied smirk]  "So the betting pool was right.  I'll have to mention it to Seven."

[gasp]

"Seven was running the betting pool?"

[embarrassed defense]  "She was trying to understand the concept of addiction."

"By betting on me?"

[repressive response]  "No Mr. Paris, by studying gambling as a capsule example of all other forms of addiction."

[wry agreement]  "Of course."

"Well Mr. Paris, in 18 hours I will be ready to implant.  You and Mr. Kim are to report here at 0600."

"What?"  [stunned surprise]

[exasperated glare]  "Mr. Paris, what exactly do you think we are aiming for here?  By the way, did you and Ensign Kim choose?"

[stuttering response]  "Choose?"

[whisk, awkward patting]  "Yes Mr. Paris, when the two of you report tomorrow morning, I will need to manipulate the genetic material."

[sickly pallor]

"At that time, I must know the number and sex."

[soft thunk]

"Mr. Paris?  Mr. Paris?"

The End

Continued in Parenting 103