Beware These Things For They Are Despised By doogleefemsekamtianuanajiramekomsi
And Open You Wide To His Rivals, Foes, And Id Demons

1: The word Friday should be said as little as possible, unless one is explaining why one cannot say friday. If this is pointed out as a contradiction tell the perceptive person that they are going to hell.  Instead of friday say Rodentia-Sanctus or The Day of Ratlessness. On this day one must eat of no rats and as little as possible of all other rodents.  Through rodent sacrifice on this day one may call forth the Qymxi'vandu, caretakers of the Hanta Virus, who materialize as humanoid collections of mouse urine with the claws and teeth of a tiger. Beware though, once contacted the Qymxi'vandu will keep a watch on you and descend in burning anger should the law of Rodentia-Sanctus be broken.

2: Lying to seem cool. Specifically trying to seem farther from the Astral Beef Stock (mainstream humanity), more psycho and flipped out, than you actually are.  This is just as much selling yourself out to the MassMind Soul-Bankers as wearing a suit and tie or hiding a tatoo.  Someone with an Activated Superconscious will kill you without hesitation if you behave in this manner.

3: For reasons to horrifying to reveal in this public forum The Great Doogleef cannot stand the sound of country music.  As long as you are within hearing range of country and western you will be completly undefended and beyond his help.  If you should meet a country and western fan be wary and avoid physical contact. They are most likely infested with alien bacteria and astral parasites. If your paths should cross with a country music artist of any note repeat a calming but innocuous mantra and try to look as inconspicuous as possible. If they should approach you or otherwise appear to notice your presence run as fast and for as long as possible. The Ritual of Suicide in honour of Herve Villechaize is generally preferable to the eterity of deathless pain that awaits you. Bluegrass music is just dandy though.

4.Never leave a hat on a bed. Without a doubt this is the most important sin to avoid. Not only is your physical form doomed to a death most foul and your immortal spirit doomed  to eternity in unholy nether-realms, but your freinds, family, loved ones, and any one else who happens to be around will be cursed as well. You would do best to live in fear of this, your sleepless nights plauged by visions of dead men in bed with fedoras.

5.The resistance of temptation. OK, Doog-Man doesn't really care about this but it's just common sense and My Ass feels it should be included. You know you want to do what ever you think you shouldn't do. You don't want to get trapped in a binge and purge cycle do you? Your constant resistance of your own naturally unnatural urges will generate psychic tension, visible on the astral plane as stretched and swollen pulsating sacks about the head and shoulders, that must be released at some point. Either you give in to your desires nullifying the irritant or it will unexpectedly come rushing forth in some disruptive, usually violent, way, visible on the astral plane as the above-mentioned sacks disgorge their thick, gelatinous, ropy contents in forcefull streams and spurts. The sacks will still remain though, hanging limp and saggen, and eventually will refill to the bursting point.