The Choosen Few, Children of Zion, Ubermensch, Nephillim, Super Mutants, Descended Masters, Endarkened Ones, Secret Disciples:: That cult would never die until the stars came right again... The time would be easy to know, for then mankind would have become as the Great Old Ones; free and wild, and beyond good and evil, with laws and morals thrown aside and all men shouting and killing and revelling in joy, and all earth would flame with a holocaust of ecstacy and freedom.

Alexander Fitzhugh

Height: 4' 6" Nick Name: the thing from outside space and time Favorite Food: his own pooh Favorite Song: I will always love you by Whitney Houston Favorite Color: Rust CatchPhrase: I'll give you head for a dollar, c'mon man, fine fifty cents Short Description: Alex is the evil one in the group.  His house is the staging ground for most of their sinister plots and sinister parties. He has Dreadlocks and a Mennonite-esque beard. His hairy ass is always exposed much to the repulsion of his peers. He likes his women dead.

John Pollard

Height: 7' 8" Nick Name: Peter the Pussy Eater Favorite Food: Tostitos Pizza Rolls Favorite Song:I Bombed Korea by Cake Favorite Color: beige Catch Phrase: PENIS!"The day is coming when all tongues are sheared to spare us the vicious slander of a few bad apples, and we will march towards tomorrow footbound and hobbled" Short Description: John is from the planet Mars. He was found inside a meteorite by his "parents". When angry his skin turns green and he breaths fire Don't piss him off. He is the techy guy in the group and uses computer games as a substitute for drugs. He does use drugs though. He likes his women naked and bleeding.

Saturn Millner

Height: 4" Width: 5' Depth: N/A Nick Name: That Guy That Looks Like The Second Coming Of Christ Favorite Food:Small Children That Have Extra Ribs Favorite Song: The Love Theme From Titanic Favorite color: Flesh Catch Phrase: But It's So Big What's almost cruel about the male body is that right below the dick, the fun part, are the testicals, the part you worry about. Just think of all the fun things you could do if you didn't have them to worry about. And lightly hitting them hurts more than hitting them hard sometimes. It's like you hit them or bump them and you get a few seconds delay. And you start to think "great, I didn't hit them." And then it hits you and you start to curse. A friend of mine in High School once sat on his. I don't know if he had nuts down to his knees. But just the thought makes me sit slower. And a while back did you hear about a guy at a Starbucks or something getting his between the toliet seat and sitting on them? Lots of stuff to worry about. Short Description: Saturn is the Titan of the group. He was originally a Greek God but was kicked out because of sex crimes. He was the God of kinky sex. His punishment for his crime was a third testicle which makes him constantly Horny.He likes women hairy and submissive.

Andrew Pyell

Height: 37' 9" Nick Name: Big Booty Suzie a.k.a. Princess Ivy Punkinhead Puffybutt Favorite Food:Coastal inhabitants Favorite Song: The Canadian National Anthem Catch Phrase: Grah!! > one time i saw a duck. and it was waddling down the little path. > > he was coming right at me and i was scared. he was quacking and > waddling and i wasnt prepared for this so i ran away. > > the problem was that i was completely surrounded by ducks. all around > me. one by one they inched closer. > > i dont know how they did it, but they managed to communicate with me > directly. some how, all of their quacks put together created a massive > quack and it sounded like it was in english.Short Description: Andrew is the October 86 playboy centerfold. Her measurements are 24-36-1. Her turn ons include athleticism, romantic dinners, sensitivity, a sense of humor and of course a huge wang. Her turn offs are buzzcuts, discrimination, closed minds, men who are afraid to cry, and of course a less than huge penis.

Dan Farrell

Height:-8" NickName:Misty Rain Favorite Food:Rocky Mountain Oysters Favorite Song:Dont Fear the Reaper by BOC Catch Phrase:Ooh, Ooh, Stick it in my ass! Short Description: Dan is an exiled alien in a heavily used human suit. He ritualistically shaves his pubic hair in preparation for the Afterlife. He has reoccurring dream that he is Claudia Schiffer's tampon. When frightened small three legged creatures shoot out of his ass and beat him up. He likes his women stereotypically beautifull but is deathly afraid of vaginas

Matt Lang Christinalingus sticks and stones will break my bones but whips and chains excite me! wouldn't give you the satisfaction of me leaving. Specially since your so stupid. > >> >Hey dip shit > >> Go fuck yourself. > >> TRY THINKING WITH THE BIG HEAD INSTEAD OF THE LITTLE ONE! >usually when a > >> male speaks like you do, that male > >> has a very low testosterone level, or > >> is pretending to be above base ideas, > >> such as physical female beauty > >> Thinking about or noticing a pretty > >> woman with very large breasts is a > >> very natural thing, and if you dont > >> notice that or appreciate it, then maybe you should examine your sexuality. ,me>> >> thinks you protest too much.> If I'm just using one bulb at a time, do I still have to use a balloon,> or can I just haul off the nozzle? 1. The last of a race of giant turtles, mutated and woken up by an a-bomb on a plane that crashed. 2. An ancient biological weapon made by Atlantis to destroy the Gyaos.1. Able to spit fire balls/steady stream of fire 2. Can absorb energy though Children's songs or by physical force. 3. Can fly 4. Plasm BURST 1. A race of giant bats.(there appear to be more than one)1. Fly at incredible speeds 2. Cutting laser from mouth 3. Powder used to smother flames 4. Super healing 1. A space shark 1. Blast from nose 2. Hypnosis 3. Super Smart 1. Hatched from an egg brought to Japan 1. Super Rainbow 2. Freeze ray 3. Basic claw and teeth 1. Alien watchdog 1. BIG FREAKINKNIFE HEAD 1. A space creature 1. Spike head 2. Tentacles 1. A mythical guardian 1. Heat ray 2. Eggs 3. needles 4. Super jump 1. A space bug1. Swarming(soldiers) 2. Plasma blast 3. Plasma whips 4. Razor sharp appendages 5. Burrowing ###############################$$########################## The man stirs. His regular breathing falters for a moment then with a splutter he burst into consciousness. Blinking he tries to clear his clotted eyes. That doesn't help so he wipes at them as he tries to take in his surroundings. He coughs expectorantly as he casts about the small white room. No furnishings he realises as he gets onto his feet and stands gingerly. Only when he started moving did he realise his body wasn't his. At least it was, once. But that was before he started on the duty free at the airport in Rome. "Where am I?" he mutters trying to find an edge to the wall or floor or... "I don't feel too good." He closes his eyes trying to settle his vision and regain control of his focus. Opening them again doesn't help much as the off-white walls, or whatever, stare back defiantly refusing to admit anything. Turning, the man looks up at the bland ceiling and the omnipresent light. "HELLO!" he cries, "Is there anyone there?" > " PISSED!!! - DO YOU HEAR ME YOU BASTARDS!" Frustration wells up within > him and finally he collects himself. He looks around for any telltale sign > of his captors. He feels around sufaces, peers intently at the floor- then > he spies it. A single strand of hair.He Carefully picks it up and holds it > to the light. > Aha!, "I've got you now..." He looks through the pockets of his tweed jacket, lying on the floor next to where he awoke. In one of them he finds a clear plastic baggie which he unfolds. Carefully dropping the strand of hair into the bag, he seals it by pressing along the open edge. As he does this the bag flattens and becomes hard. "Now where did I put my 'zer?" he ponders as he pats the other pockets of his jacket and takes surprisingly bulky gadget from the inside pocket. It is covered with lots of seamingly meaningful knobs and switches and a few, what look like arials? He manipulates the box somehow and a compartment pops open. Just big enough to fit the solidified baggie into. After closing the compartment with the bag inside he flips a switch and ... As you know, the 'Glugs' are a freakish bunch of deformed arse-holes who have a mythology about being an ancient tribe of 'original humans' while all the rest of us are degenerate mutants. There are a lot of them here , and while you can tell the surly bastards by their skull-ridges, they often grow hair over the ridges or wear hats. And besides that, thanks to the generous kindness of SupremeCourt Justice Reinquist, it is not actually illegal to be a Glug, easy as that might make our job. It is illegal, however, to speak the Glug language. So it's a considerable advantage to know a bit of Glug. You can recognize when somebody is speaking it, and administer a service-revolver full of justice, and on slow days, you can babble a bit of it and try to provoke the freaks into speaking some of it back. And for those of you rookies who're wondering if we can get in trouble for speaking Glug, get real, kids. We're here to enforce the law, not obey it. The Basics: Sounds The sounds of glug are really easy. Most of them occur in English). The only ones that don't are "hn" and "hl," which you can fake by pronouncing them as they're spelled. It's not exactly how the Glugs do it, but it's close. Also, in English we don't use clusters of sounds like "bn" and "zn" and "tl" at the beginnings of syllables, but if you just pronounce it the way it's spelled it works. Basically, a Glug syllable starts with: b, d, g, z, l, n, bl, dl, gl, zl, bn, dn, gn zn, p, t, k, s, hl, hn, phl, thl, khl, shl*, phn, thn, khn, shn*, or no consonant at all. *watch these: shl means "s" as in "send" and then the breathy "hl", not "sh" as in "shoot" and then "l"! Same with "shn" - that's "s" as then "hn" not "sh" and then "n"! Yeah, it's confusing, but that's the way the dictionaries are written so that's the way to learn it. I would have just written it "sl" and "sn." Then it has a vowel: u or i (as in bug, or big). Yep, that's right, there's only two vowels, and they are "uh" and "ih." Sounds butt ugly to my ears, but it makes it nice and easy to recognize. If you hear somebody talking and all their vowels are "uh" and "ih," they're either a Glug or a pile of Burger from the American Midwest, and either is an excuse to dust 'em. Then it can optionally have a final consonant: b, d, g, z, p, t, k, s, l, n. That's it. If you don't get it, don't worry, just skip ahead to the vocabulary and memorize some words and phrases. The Basics: Grammar 1. Simple Sentences, The Adjective Problem Luckily, like English, Glug has a subject-verb-indirect object-direct object order. Like Spanish and Italian, it has an article-noun-adjective order. Unfortunately, unlike English, Glug has no word for "is," so when you talk in Glug you sound like a moron. You can't say "this beer is piss-poor," you say "this beer piss-poor!" (Li dluz tikug-idzi-nis, if you're curious. Li=this dluz=beer tikug=unpleasant idzi=like nis=piss.) All the adjectives are really verbs. If you want to make them back into adjectives you have to use them in a relative clause. I is the universal relative clause maker; it means who, whom, which, or that. (Those of you whose brains just got fried by the intellectuality of all this can, as always, just head down to the words and phrases section in shame. OK, moving on for the rest of you.) So while "This beer is piss-poor" is Li dluz tikug-idzi-nis, if you want to talk about "piss-poor beer" you take the word for "piss-poor" (tikug-idzi-nis), which literally means "is nasty as piss," and you add the word i which means "which", so you get, Li dluz i-tikug-idzi-nis, which means "this beer, which is nasty as piss." 2. Plurals You thought that the lack of "is" sounded stupid, wait till you get a load of this one. To make a noun plural, you repeat it. So that while "human" is glug (remember, they think that they're the humans and we're the mutants... to keep things clear, you might wanna memorize glug as just meaning "glug,", and memorize their word for "mutant" or "freak" -- hnun -- as meaning "human.") Where was I? Oh, while glug means "human," if you want to say "humans," you have to repeat it -- glug glug. Yep, that's the word for "Glugs" in Glug. Glug glug. And they think we're freaks? 3. Numbers The numbers in Glug are nouns, not adjectives like they are in English. So you can't say "eight beers," you say "eight of beer." Tupi ki dluz. Eight=tupi, of=ki, beer=dluz. 4. Articles Glug has no definite or indefinite articles -- that is, there's no word for "a" or "the" in Glug. There is a word li which means "this," but it's not used as commonly as "the" is. If you go around using li all the time the way you'd use "the" in English, you're just gonna tip yourself off as a poser, and they're not gonna talk back to you, and then you've wasted a lot of time that coulda been spent raping the dead 5. Commands Remember how you repeat a noun to make a plural? You repeat a verb to make a command. So "gimme a beer" in Glug is pug-pug gi dluz! (Just like in English, you can omit the subject from a command.) Pug=give, gi=I/me, dluz=our old friend "beer." 6. Questions To make a yes or no question, you either just use a rising intonation in the sentence like in English ("You got a raise?") or you add the question words li dlu? at the end of the sentence. (Li=this, dlu=not) To ask a "what, where, when" kind of question, you use the questioning noun su, which means "what." Nu phnul su? "You said what?" or "What did you say?" Notice that you don't normally put su in the beginning of the sentence like you do with "what" in English. Doing so marks you as speaking Glug with an English accent -- but luckily English accents are kind of common among Al Amarjan Glugs, so it isn't absolutely guaranteed to blow your cover. It's just sloppy. Just like English "what," Glug su can be used as a noun or as a determiner. It's like li, "this," that way. You can say Nu phnul su? (what did you say?) or Nu sud su dluz? (what beer do you drink?) 7. Tense Most of the time, Glug doesn't bother to specify tense for its sentences. For example, Gi glug means "I am a Glug," "I was a Glug," or "I will be a Glug." If you really need to specify tense, you can use the particles lus (past), mim (present) or lilis (future), which come after the verb: Gi glug lus, gi glug mim, gi glug lilis. (I was a Glug, I am a Glug, I will be a Glug.) Dictionary and Phrasebook blub sage dlu not dluz beer dudu and dul present/current gi I/me glis light glug human hnun freak, mutant lim wing i that/who/which/whom idzi like ki of knik dagger knik ki niz copper dagger li this lilis future (adv) lus past (adv) mim present (adv) nis piss niz copper nu you phnul say pug give snig see sud drink thlud island tikug unpleasant tu person tupi eight tupi ki blub i znul eight evil sages tuz in front of u deity ulimziuk winged bull god ziuk bull zninu manifest znul evil zuk stupid zut ruler ________________________________++++++ :''} hey folks- seriously, thank you so much for your support. I hope you are enjoying the site. Drop me a line, please be patient though, cuz I am juggling a lot right now. The Tamagotchi Poop Log of Insanity is Sqishily gross! If you are pregnant, have a plastic head, wearing a nose brace, companious combuntios or are easily offended by gross stuff this site is not for you! While the girl chatters away on the phone, Woofard looks over the contents of the exterminator's van. Sniffing anything that does not appear to be deadly chemicals. "Clyde Throckmorton for President"This is my Toilet Duck! I have had it ever sence I was born. It is kinda moldy because I chew on it so much. cracker snap penis drool gazonta beebee robert fuck hog nast peee xxx I just LOVE to drive don't you? I know what your thinking. "SINCE WHEN DO POOPS DRIVE CARS?!?!" pretty soon the whole screen fills up with a poop party ... BWA HAHAHAHA! I'm so evil! What's It Like on Guam? Critters of Guam More Tales of Guam Even More Tales of Guam Baby Names of Asia and the Pacific Microscopic Critters of Guam A Tragedy Told in Names Cats Cuttlefish, the Sentient Cephalopod Critters of Guam Microscopic Critters of Guam Invertebrate Ring Komodo Dragons Pagan Volcano Science Jokes and Humor Volcano Photos How to Pass Chemistry Sizzling Organic Chemistry Dramas (1) Bottled Pig Man (2) Winter Solstice Dancer (3) Arrow (4) Reclining Insect Maiden (5) Spider Dream (6) The Lovers (7) Cute Chicken Girl Watching TV Here are seven more bizarre monsters and surreal creatures We were sick, but now we're better. Bla-bla bla-bla bla-bla better. Something, something rhymes with better. Now I'm off to fix my tractor. DK is friends with Diddy Diddy races with Banjo Banjo back-packs Kazooie Kazooie hates Bottles Bottles stole his shirt from Ace Ventura Ace Ventura is actually Jim Carrey Jim Carrey starred in "Earth Girls Are Easy" with Gina Davis Gina Davis is sometimes mistaken for Jim Davis Jim Davis created Garfield Garfield mouths off at Odie Odie sounds like V.D. V.D. is a risky thing Murder is also a risky thing OJ didn't get away with murder Neither did the Joker The Joker is a villain of Batman Batman has had a twisted past A twisted past has also been had by Fabio Fabio thinks he is the most beautiful man in the cosmos I also think I'm the most beautiful man in the cosmos I saw Star Wars Episode I twice The Moffatts also saw it twice The Moffatts are little kids who sing about love Jordy is also a little kid who sings about love Jordy is French The DK cartoon is French The French are all gay Gays all knowingly work for the Devil The Devil is red Diaper rash is red Diaper rash only happens to the very young or very old. It is only legal to rape the very young or very old Rape is the worlds oldest way to stave off murderous rages Murderous rages are the bedstone of capatilism Capitilism is the logical replacment of ethics Ethics are totally retarded The retarded have superhuman strength ANCIENTSKeeps Own Flares You have the power of Eon. You need not discard any wild flare IJUSTFARTEDHAHAHA

JORDAN GOETZ:

                 Hates himself because there was never anything to like...................BUT WAIT? Hate, what?  I hate the word "Fuckin Nigger", I hate yuppies, I hate my
 ex-girlfriend, SHROUT69@yahoo.com<--------------------------------HATEATEMEHATEATEMEHATEATEMEeverythinggoodontheinternetinnoparticularorder.
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DON'T GET TOO CLOSE TO YOUR AUNT, SHE'LL BITE YOUR LEG OFF.

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