Title: Nothing Really Matters.
Author: Elisa aka Schizo Spike.
Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Buffy The Vampire Slayer. It all belongs to Joss Whedon, The Mutant Enemy, The WB Network, ect. I do not make any money out of this, so please don't sue me.
Distribution: You can do whatever you want with it, just keep my name on it.
Feedback: I love feedback.
Summary:Buffy's in an accident and doesn't seem to remember anything.
Spoilers: Season 2 and 3
"How are you feeling, honey ?"
"Like there's something in my head trying to get away by digging a tunnel thru my forehead."
"Didn't they give you pain killers ?"
"Obviously, not enough. Do you know what happened to me ?"
"I'm sorry, sweetheart, I don't. Do you want me to get you something to drink ?"
"I'd like some orange juice. No, grapefruit."
"You like it best when it's mixed."
"I do ? Well, if you find one of those..."
"It's okay, I'll make it myself."
Joyce went outside to talk with Giles and Buffy's friends. They all knew what happened to her, but couldn't tell the doctors.
"What am I supposed to tell her ?" Joyce asked, "She's always asking me things and I don't know what to say."
"I don't think we should tell her about being the Slayer yet. Maybe later." Giles answered, "But she is going to get her memory back sooner or later."
"I don't think we should tell her at all. I mean, this is a great opportunity for her to have a normal life."
"Didn't you hear what Giles just said ?" Xander asked, "She's gonna get her memory back ! Everything's gonna get back to normal."
"I know but... Buffy already died once, and it almost happened again last night ! She's my only daughter, I don't want to loose her !"
"We don't want to loose her either, but you know how important she is. It is her destiny, her sacred duty, her... "
"Giles, the 'In every generation...' thing, it's getting old." Cordelia said, "Sure, Buffy's the Slayer, but maybe she's got the right to a normal life."
"No, she does not !"
"..."
"Except that maybe she does... But can't you see how dangerous it is for her ? For everyone close to her ?"
"Then why does she have to put up with it ?"
"Gee, maybe because IT IS HER DESTINY ! How many times do I have to tell you ? Americans !"
After that, Giles just left. He was acting really strange. But on the ther hand, everyone was. Joyce was unrealistic, Xander had completely lost his mind, Willow wasn't talking, and neither was Oz. But Cordelia was the strangest. To the casual observer, she didn't seem to care at all, but that's her way of dealing with it, acting normaly.
A week later :
Buffy was finally home. Her memory was starting to come back, allthough most of what her friends said seemed wrong. She knew about the slaying and everything. She also remembered Angel, and what they had gone thru. But she didn't feel anything for him. But this other guy, the one that had been visiting her almost every night at the hospital... He was special. She didn't remember anything about him, but was sure that she knew him. He was so funny and cute. And he didn't act like everyone else. Her Mom and friends were always doing everything for her, like she was handicapped in some way. But he treated her like he would treat anybody else, and that's what she liked most about him.
"If you need anything, Buffy, " Xander began, "Just call me, I'll be right over."
"And so will Oz and I." Willow added, "And if you want me to stay over tonight..."
"Don't worry, Willow. I'll be just fine. And Xander, my Mom's just across the hall in case I need anything."
"I know but just in case..."
"I'll be allright ! Now you guys go home and get some sleep."
"Are you sure ?" Oz asked, " 'Cuz anything could happen in your bedroom. I mean with this window over there, and the door... Have you seen the size of this door ? Big Foot could come in without needing to bend over !"
"Sure. Go home."
The only reason Buffy wanted her friends to go home was because she was expecting someone. He was gonna get in thru the window. She was really unpatient. She couldn't sit still, so she 'took a walk' in her room. Got to learn where things were all over again. Then finally, he arrived."
"Spike ! At last ! I thought you'd never come !"
"I got a little late, I know. How does it feel to be back home ?"
"Weird. It doesn't feel like my room at all. I mean, I remember almost everything, but it's like watching a movie. You know what I mean ?"
"Absolutely not, but I can fake it if you want."
"No thanks. So, what did you do today ?"
"What do you think ? It's not like I can go out or anything like that."
"I was just trying to make small talk. You wanna know what I did ?"
"Actually, no I don't, but go ahead."
"I didn't do anything either. I woke up at ten, then I started packing, then I waited for my Mom to pick me up and then I got home."
"I just slept all thru the day."
"I'm so glad you came. I mean, I like the others but they're so..."
"Suffocative ?"
"Yes. How did you know ?"
"I know the feeling. My girlfriend's just..."
"I didn't know you had a girlfriend."
"Didn't I tell you ? I thought you knew. I mean before the accident..."
"Eveything's changed. I forgot half of my own life, do you really think I'd remember yours ?"
"Sorry I didn't mean..."
"No I'm sorry. It's not your fault I've got amnesia."
"Oh, by the way, I killed the one that did that to you."
"The vamp that chased me ? Good, but I wanted to kill him myself."
"You wanted to, but you wouldn't have done it."
"How do you know ?"
"You're not used to killing anymore."
"How come you know so much about me ?"
"That's one of life's greatest mystery, isn't it ?"
"Since you know so much, can you tell me how to deal with Angel ? I mean, I remember everything, but I don't feel anything. How am I gonna tell him ?"
"I don't know. Maybe if you move far, far away, like the North Pole or something, you won't have to tell him at all."
"North Pole ? Six months of night, six months of day. Sounds tempting, don't you think ?"
"Sure. I'd love to come with you."
"Yeah, we should get a flat over there. Or maybe they live in igloos ?"
"I don't know about the igloo part. Maybe we should move to Hawaii."
"Hawaii ? What would a vampire do in Hawaii ?"
"I don't know, but it does sound a lot better than igloos !"
"I don't wanna move to Hawaii. It's full of volcanos down there. Let's move to Europe. Go to Paris, Roma, Prague..."
"I've been in Europe."
"No kidding ? I thought your accent was brazilian !"
"I forgot it was that obvious. I don't wanna go to Europe. Let's go to Australia."
"Australia ? Why do you wanna move to Australia ?"
"I don't know, maybe 'cuz we're running out of continents."
"What about Asia and Africa ?"
"Way too warm and sunny."
" 'Cuz Australia isn't ? What would your girlfriend say if she was here ? Here we are, talking about moving and everything."
"She wouldn't say anything, she's insane."
"Insane ? What do you mean ?"
"She's a total wacko !"
"Why are you staying with her, then ?"
"Well, she's always... I mean, I've never... You've got a point. Why am I staying with her ?"
"But don't you love her ?"
"Well... Actually, I don't know. I've been living with her for so long. Maybe I should leave her."
"Hey, wait a second. I don't want it to be my fault ! Forget about what I said."
"It wouldn't be your fault ! Well, maybe it would, but just a little bit."
"But since she's a total wacko as you said, won't she try to kill me or something ?"
"She's a vamp, Buffy. Stake thru the heart, a little sunlight..."
"Oh, right, but I really think that you should stay with her. Unless..."
"Unless what ?"
"Nothing."
"Say it !"
"No, forget about it, it was just a big, bad nothing."
"Tell me. Please."
"Please ? First time I hear you say that ! Or maybe you've said it before and I don't remember it ?"
"No I don't say 'please'. Unless I really want something."
"Since you want it so bad, I'll tell you what I was going to say. I think you should stay with her unless it's me you're leaving her for."
"You mean that ?"
"Yeah, I guess I do."
"Oh my."
"What ? Don't tell this hasn't happened to you before."
"Don't worry about that ! It has happened, but I don't like to brag. Who am I kidding ?! I love to brag !"
"Tell me something I don't know."
"Hey ! You're the one trying to get me to leave my girlfriend for you !"
"No I'm not ! I just think that I'm the only one worth leaving your girlfriend for. What's her name, by the way ?"
"Drusilla."
"Drusilla ? Wait a second. I remember ! I remember you, Drusilla, the Judge, the wheelchair, everything ! You tried to kill me !"
"Well you tried to kill me too !"
"You tried to kill me first !"
"Yeah well... well... Shut up !"
"I don't wanna shut up, you tried to kill me !"
"Then I'll have to make you shut up !"
"I guess you will !"
"Then I will !"
"And how are you gonna do that ?"
"Easy."
Spike walked towards Buffy and kissed her passionately. She liked, really liked it, but broke it off.
"What ? I thought that wanted this !"
"I do ! Believe me I do, but I don't think I can handle it right now."
"Why ?"
"It's just that with the accident, the amnesia, all the things I don't remember, Angel..."
"I can't believe this ! He always screws everything up for me !"
"No, it's not him ! It's me. I always screw things up."
"No I shouldn't have done this. You know what ? I should be going home."
"No wait ! Spike, I don't want you to leave. It's just... I just feel so strange."
"Don't worry, I'll help you get through this bloody amnesia. We'll get through it together."
"What about my friends, and Giles ? What are they gonna say about this ? They're probably never going to talk to me again."
"It doesn't matter. Nothing really matters as long as we're together."
"When did you get all cheesy-talking ?"
"Hey, at least I'm trying !"
"I know, I'm just kidding. You know what ? Maybe this accident wasn't such a disaster after all."
"Meaning ?"
"Well, it got us together, didn't it ?"
"Actually... I'm not to sure about that."
"What do you mean ?"
"Well, I've had my eye on you for quite a little time now."
"You have ? Pretty ironic."
"What's ironic ?"
"I've had my eye on you ever since you arrived in Sunnydale."
"My God ! I can't believe this !"
"What ?"
"If I had known, I wouldn't have waited that long."
"Yeah, well, life's a bitch, huh ?"