by Mace

"Angel, he's good now?" Joyce asked, trying to piece together what happened.

"Yes," Buffy answered, distracted.

"I don't really understand what happened," Joyce admitted.

"When I was in Los Angeles, I had this dream where I met Angel in limbo, the place between Heaven and Hell. I wanted to get him out. It was sorta my fault that he was there," Buffy said.

"That's understandable, I guess," Joyce answered.

"For weeks, I've been studying about astral projection and restoring souls from limbo to their bodies. The soul had to be willing and the body had to be unoccupied. I knew that when I stabbed Angel, Acathla would flee his body," Buffy continued.

"You took a big risk for someone who hurt you so much. He killed your teacher, harassed you, nearly killed you and almost sent the whole world to Hell," Joyce said.

"And I would do it all over again," Buffy replied, looking her mother directly in the eye.

"And the purple lights coming from your finger tips?" Joyce asked.

"It's from this ring. Bex gave it to me to use. I think she knew what I wanted to do. I knew that I couldn't kill the demon the normal way, and I took a chance that it would work," Buffy replied, somewhat proud of her accomplishment and creativity.

"I understand all about you having to kill the demon. It's your job, Buffy. I understand that too. The boy that you saved . . ."

"He's older than *you*," Buffy said.

"Some people might consider that an implication of my age," Joyce said, smirking despite herself.

"I was just stating a fact. Angel is two-hundred forty-two. He is older," Buffy said.

"You risked your own life to save him. You are very brave, Buffy. I never knew how much. I just want to know one thing. Do you love him?" Joyce asked.

Buffy didn't dare answer this question too quickly. She took a moment to consider her mother's words, but not too much time. She looked directly at her mother.

"Yes. I do," Buffy replied surely.

Joyce sighed and tried to struggle with her thoughts.

"You are sure this is not some teenage fling that will pass in a few weeks? He is very attractive. You are quite sure?" Joyce asked, giving Buffy one more chance to stay a child.

Once again, Buffy considers. She takes a little bit more time than before.

"I do love him. It's so hard sometimes, not to love him. I'm a vampire Slayer and he's a vampire. That's how much I don't care. I feel- uh, well- "

"Go ahead. I'm grading your responsibility on this. I want to know exactly what you're thinking, for once in my life," Joyce said.

"It's the attraction that you feel when you first meet someone. You know, the jittery 'does he think I'm pretty feeling'. But, it's mixed in with this really . . . God I sound corny . . ."

"I'm rather intrigued," Joyce said.

Buffy giggled.

"It's like a comfortability and absolute totalness. Sometimes, it gives me a wiggins, when he was good, now that he is. I think it's weird that I could feel that way about anyone," Buffy said, hoping she sounded half as sure as she really was.

"Buffy, you are in love. I am very much sure about that. I realize that I can't freak out when you come in early in the morning or late at night. You slept with him?" Joyce asked, dropping the bomb.

"Yes." Buffy blushed.

"Please, please, all I ask is that you . . . I want you to have a happy, normal life." Buffy gave Joyce a Look. "Okay, just . . . innocence is a good thing. I can't stop you from seeing him. As much as you seem to love him. As much as I think he loves you. I wouldn't want to."

"I understand. And, it'll be awhile before we're back to where we were. I know things are about to become even more freaky than before," Buffy said.

"I never thought I would be saying that to my seventeen-year-old daughter. Giles said that you would probably mature faster than other kids. I know now that you're mature enough to handle your life and do what you think is best. Don't think that I've just given up raising you, but you're more adult than most adults I know. But, honey, don't ever be afraid or . . . embarrassed . . . to ask me or tell me anything. Just because you know how to take care of yourself doesn't mean that you'll ever stop being my baby girl," Joyce said.

"Thank you, Mom. You don't know how much it means to me to hear you say that. What happened five months ago, when everything blew up, I'm sorry I didn't explain. I'm sorry I kept being the Slayer from you. I just wanted to protect you. The average age for a Slayer to live to is twenty-six." Buffy got a Look from her mother. "I plan to live to be much, much older than that. I'll be the only Slayer on a pension plan and drawing social security," Buffy said, grinning.

"What would you put on your résumé?" Joyce asked.

"Personal bodyguard to all things good and world saver," Buffy replied.

"Nice title. Still, I like Buffy the Vampire Slayer," Joyce said.

"So, you're okay with me and Angel?" Buffy asked hesitantly.

"I'll give him a chance," Joyce said.

"That's all I ask."

Buffy came in Angelus's mansion with some bandages. She was alone. She walked into the room Angel was lying in and saw he had drained the glass and was conscious.

"Hi . . . Buffy. You came back," Angel said.

"You want me to leave?" Buffy asked seriously.

"No . . . no! I just, well I didn't think you would come back. I remembered what I did. I don't know how you can look me in the face," Angel corrected himself, realizing his implications.

"I knew what that demon had done, and while you were in limbo, I told you I loved you. That hasn't changed. Now, let me wrap your wound," Buffy said.

"Are . . . are you alone?" Angel asked.

"Just me and my shadow." Buffy noticed he was holding the rose. "You like the rose?" she asked.

"It smells nice," Angel replied.

Buffy snapped the glass full of blood again. Angel took it in his hands and set it down on the table. Buffy noticed his reluctance.

"Aren't you thirsty?" Buffy asked.

"No . . . yeah. I just, feel funny about drinking blood in front of you. It just strikes me as unusual," Angel replied.

Buffy handed the glass to him. "You need your strength. I stabbed you pretty hard. Drink it," Buffy commanded gently.

He took a few small sips and could no longer stand it. He drank it down quickly as she unbuttoned his shirt. Buffy cleansed the wound with a damp cloth and wrapped the bandage around his waist.

"You shouldn't worry about me. I heal faster than humans. I'll be fine in a few days. I want to talk to you about what happened that night. . . ." Angel began.

"Shh, Angel, not now. Just rest," Buffy whispered. "I have to go. I haven't had any sleep and my mother is watching me really closely. I'll come by around sunset. Can you walk?"

"Yeah, I'll be able to. Is your mom okay with, well, us . . . ? If there is an us . . . if you *want* there to be . . ."

"Nothing has changed since I left you in limbo except you remember what Angelus did," Buffy said.

"I was afraid," Angel admitted. "I always thought that as long as you and I never . . . made love . . . I would have a way out. I always thought that I could walk away from everything if I never told you I loved you. I didn't. I couldn't. I didn't want to get close because I didn't think that I deserved anything except hate. I wonder now if I was right."

"Angel, if you . . . regret . . . what happened, I can. . . ."

"That was the best day of my life, Buffy. I can't regret that. It was a promise to you and myself. I can't just walk away anymore. I couldn't have in the first place. To society now, that's what you make money off of, what *is* done at the end of a date, not worth anything. To me . . . that was worth everything," Angel said, finishing in a whisper.

Tears ran from Buffy's eyes as she looked at Angel, taking in what he said.

"It was?" Buffy asked, not really sure what to say.

"Yes," Angel said. "Everything."

He took her hand and kissed the Claddagh on Buffy's slender finger.

"Everything I said as Angelus . . . it was all a lie. It was always about you. Always. He wanted to break you. I proud that you were strong. And, I didn't just take off. I left because I knew what was happening. I only made it to the alley outside, but I didn't want to be soulless around you when you woke up. I think that's one of the things that hurts the most, leaving you to wake up alone. I would have never . . ." Angel was interrupted by Buffy's fingers on his lips.

"Shh, I know, Angel. I'm sorry," Buffy said as she began to cry. Angel pulled her head down to his shoulder and let her cry.

Through her tears, he heard her apologize over and over and place the blame on herself. He simply stroked her hair until she fell asleep on his shoulder. Settling in, strangely comforted by the presence of his love, he drifted off to sleep.

Buffy awoke about an hour later. She smiled at Angel's sleeping face and was careful not to disturb him. She kissed him softly on the lips and tiptoed out the room silently. She smiled to herself as she walked home in the sunshine. For the first time in a long time, she was happy.

Little did she know that all of the healing Angel did while Buffy lay in his arms was about to be shattered by a nightmare. The nightmare played over and over in his head until he awoke screaming. Though the physical wounds had begun to heal, the mental ones were forming all over again.

<> Angel thought as he fled the mansion through the sewers.

Buffy never expected him to be there when she got back. . . .

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