Disclaimer : Gee, am i man who is own acid, crack, and heroine is mentally screwing up different fans of Buffy and Angel around the world? Are you sensing my sarcasm? I own nothing. If you want my collection of stories and my David Boreanaz posters, you can sue me. Just know that I'll kill you if you do.
Author's Note : I wrote this right after Graduation aired. Hope you like it. I guess it's rated G. I don't think there's anything bad in it.It's sad. I wrote the story and I don't know what to rate it. :D
Part One : If Only I Had Said What I Still Hide
Sunnydale, California
Buffy's House
"C'mon, Buffy. You have got to get out. It's been a month already."
Buffy wiped tears from her eyes and stared up at Willow. "I can't, Will. I miss him. I don't wanna go anywhere unless it's to see him."Willow sat on the bed beside her friend. "Ya know, I talked to Cordelia today. She said that Angel always talks about you and when he's not, she knows that he's thinking about you."
"Then why doesn't he come back to me?" Buffy whimpered.
"I don't know. Maybe it's because he wants you to live your life without him. He wants you to move on, Buffy."
The slayer shook her head stubbornly. "No, he wants to be with me. He doesn't want me to be with anyone but him. I know it."
"Maybe. But don't you think that you should at least try to go out and move on?" Willow asked.
"No. I'll never change, Will. He knows that. And you know that, too."
Willow smiled sadly and hugged her friend. "I've gotta go. Oz is performing tonight with his band." She stood up and walked to the door.
"Are you sure that you don't wanna come?"
"Positive," Buffy whispered. She watched as her friend walked out of the room.
The girl wiped her tears from her eyes and walked over to her mirror.
She looked terrible. Her hair looked like it hadn't been brushed in days and there were dark circles under her eyes. She hadn't been able to sleep since he had left. She just stayed awake, thinking about the night she watched him walk out of her life forever.
She saw him standing there. They didn't say anything. Just stared. Buffy could see tears forming in his eyes and she had choked back on her own. His eyes were full of sadness and they seemed to whisper the words 'I'm sorry and I love you'. Then he turned around and walked away.
All Buffy could think about was what she could have done to make him stay. If she had ran up to him and kissed him or if she had done something else, said something else...
*So give me strength
To face this test of mine*
She couldn't help but wonder and ponder all those things. It was kind of hard not to when she loved and missed him so much.
*If only I could turn back time
If only I had said what I still hide*
If only she had said what she still had hidden deep inside her heart. Maybe he would have stayed with her forever. That was the whole point. Wasn't it?
*I will always have a cross to wear
But the bolt reminds me I was there*
And she'd never be able to forget that night. Too many things reminded her of him. Especially, the cross that she wore around her neck. The one he had given her the night they had met.
Sadly, Buffy turned and laid back down on her bed. She soon fell into a very wanted sleep and her dreams were of him and the night he left.
*The bolt reminds me I was there
The bolt reminds me I was there *
"Angel, are we slaying or are you just gonna sit there and pout all night?"
"Ya know, Cordelia, I'm sure that there's a party you could go to to annoy somebody other than me."
Cordelia shrugged her shoulders as she sat beside the vampire on his bed. "What can I say? I just love to annoy you, you vampire you," she quipped.
Angel glared at her. "Funny ha - ha."
"I know. Now, tell me. You're thinking about her, aren't you?"
"Who?"
"It don't take a rocket scientist to figure this out. Buffy. You know her. Skinny, blonde, slayer, person who made you lose your soul. Ringing any bells?"
"Are you taking a class on being nosy or is this is a natural talent?" Angel asked, ready to knock the girl's head off.
"I guess that I'm a natural," she answered. She saw sadness in Angel's eyes and she slipped into her, very rare, sweet mode.
"I'm not an expert on people being in love with each other, but... I don't like what this is doing to you. You are my friend, whether I like it or not. Do you think you should call her or something?"
Angel shook his head. "No way. I - I want her to move on with her life."
Cordelia laughed. "You don't want that. You want her to stay in love with you for the rest of all time because that's exactly what you're going to do with her."
Angel looked up at the brunette. "When did you become an expert on love?"
"Hey! I just said that I was no expert! I just have some good advice every now and then." She looked down at her watch.
"You can sit here and mope, but I'm going to slay. For some reason, it gives me a rush. See - ya, Angel." With that, the girl walked out of the small apartment.
Angel sighed and looked on his desk at the picture of Buffy. He looked at before he went to sleep every day and her face was always in his dreams.
"Stupid," his mind said. "Why'd you have to go and hurt her like that?"
*Passing through the season
Where I cheated you*
Every one of his waking hours were filled with thoughts of nothing of her and the sadness he saw on her face when she watched him leave. Guilt filled his heart and soul. Regrets of leaving haunted him.
*So give me strength
To face this test of mine*
He missed her. No longer could he deny that.
*If only I could turn back time
I would stay for the night... for the night*
If he only he could turn back time. He'd stay with her forever.
That was the whole point.
Glancing at her picture once more, Angel laid down on his bed and fell asleep with her face in his dreams.
Nothing warms my heart like a good Buffy / Angel love scene or feedback. If you didn't like the story, send feedback anyway. Just know that you better not give out your address cuz I'll come kill you. That's all. Bye!
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