So, alone
again I just sit
Nothing
more than a pile of shit.
Absolutely,
Alone.
What's
the difference from before?
Am I no
longer a whore?
What has
changed?
Nothing.
What's
the truth and what is the lie?
Can't
I trust just this one guy?
I want
to,
Should
I?
My pain
is all from me, my fault
Always
all this stupid doubt
Trust
in him,
Dumb bitch
Pain and
guilt, suspicion and doubt
I want
this damn feeling OUT!
Sit alone,
And cry.
Tears from
the pain and self hatred,
My face
damp with steaks of dread.
He loves
me?
He must
The signs
of deceit, everywhere,
But he
has to really care.
Protecting?
He is.
Saved from
stupidity again?
Has he
sheltered me from pain?
He's always,
Blameless
I know
I love him deep and true,
He is
real, completely new.
Not the
rest.
He loves.
But can
I trust in him this much
Trust
can be felt in his touch
Safe with
him?
I am
He does
not want to cause me pain,
Only wants
my smile again
Can I
smile?
I try
Alone with
him my heart can soar,
Relieved
the pain at its core
He heals
me
I cry
I cry because
it must come out
Tears
transport my damn self-doubt
Does he
see?
Please
no.
My life
with him, a dream for sure
That love
is the only cure,
For this
pain,
Scares
me.
Can this
sweet dream last forever?
Will the
nightmare come ever?
Let the
dreams
Not end.