With the lack of sales in our treasured brainchild, Domesticated Dryer Lint, along with pastdue notices on rent for TMDOTPBM Enterprises, Inc. Headquarters, and basically no form of immediate income, the future looks more and more like living out of a van.

In our quest to rule the world, we've come up with a twelve-step plan to aid us, one step being to earn billions of dollars by selling cheap products at inflated prices. At first we considered our plan of attack to be faultless, but now it seems we overlooked one aspect: The Customer.

We've come up with an easy solution to this minor issue. We've hired a small but reputable firm to handle our public relations. Their name is Vinny & Guido's Collection Agency. Now I'm sure you are all thinking that this doesn't sound like a public relations business, but with a few requested modifications we've come up with a reliable resolution. We'll just have Vinny & Guido personally call upon our customers just to make sure that the information is being properly distributed.

We at TMDOTPBM Enterprises, Inc. have made a commitment to keep serving you. In return, you have to make a commitment to buy our stuff. It's made in the U.S.A. It's high quality, low price. What more could you ask for?

Please help us serve you better. Either purchase some of our fine products, or pay off our bills.