Lovechild of ex England goalkeeper Peter Bonetti and Britt Eckland, Bruce has inherited his father's super-hero alter ego, 'The Cat', famed for the bludgeoning immensity of his 'Tower of Power'.

The epitomy of EVIL, Bruce wields his 'Staff of Doom' at weddings and barmitzvas and will also do children.

In 1812 Bruce discovered the near mythical source of the River Tweed and later founded the Bay City Rollers.

Also known as 'The Rock', due to his speed off the goal-line in football, Bruce has made love to over 1000 different species and claims to have 'Sex on Tap'.

Bruce was one half of the legendary pop combo Dollar and frequently hosts conventions in his Manchester mansion.

If seen do not approach.